7 Things Christians Should Give Up To Reach Unchurched People

give up

So you want your church to reach people who don’t go to church.

That’s wonderful because that’s basically the mission of the church: to share the love of Christ with the world in the hopes everyone will come into a relationship with Jesus.

The challenge is that unchurched people aren’t exactly flocking to most churches, and many Christians seem stumped as to why that is.

There are many reasons, but a surprising number center around one thing: Christians who treat the church as if it’s their private club.

The gravitational pull of human nature is toward self, not towards others, and churches behave the same way. You will focus almost exclusively on your needs and wants unless you decide not to.

And that’s exactly what far too many churches do: focus exclusively on the needs and wants of their members.

Okay, it’s worse than that. Maybe it’s not even about needs and wants. Maybe it’s about preferences.

So many church leaders (staff and volunteer) struggle to lead beyond the preferences of the church members. And as soon as they try, they get inundated with complaints and angry emails. Too many Christians feel like it’s their right to have a church that caters exactly to their tastes and whims, and millions are paying the price for that (including unchurched people).

Catering to the preferences of members is a terrible idea for three reasons.

First, it’s killing the church. Attendance continues to stagnate or decline as people drift further and further from Christ (here’s a 5 part blog series I did on declining church attendance).

Second, it’s an unwinnable game. Even in a church of 100 people, you’ll never be able to please everyone.

Finally, and most importantly, it’s just wrong. Since when did the personal preferences of members become a legitimate reason to keep people away from God’s love?

When your preferences keep unchurched people from the promise of Christ, it’s time to change your preferences.

Here are 7 things Christians should give up to reach unchurched people.

1. Music

You would think by now we might have solved this one. But even churches who think they’ve solved it often haven’t.

Many churches who call themselves contemporary… aren’t. They’re just more contemporary than they used to be.

Have you listened to the top 40 on iTunes or Spotify recently? Probably not… because you hate that music. You even tell yourself it isn’t music.  There’s no guitar. It’s all beats. And what’s with the vocal Olympics? Why can’t they make music like they used to (like in the 90s), you say to yourself?

Which may be part of the reason your church struggles to reach anyone under 40.

Be honest. Don’t call yourself contemporary if you’re some paler version of it. Self-awareness and honesty actually matter if you’re trying to reach unchurched people.

Sadly, well-meaning self-deception runs rampant in church leadership today.

Be truthful about what you’re doing. If you are, it might just make you frustrated enough to make you change again.

In the meantime, realize that despite all the change, you could still be miles away from being relevant to the people living around you.

If you want more on music, here are 5 ways to battle the never-ending worship wars.

2. Politics

I’m not sure politics has been this divisive in a generation or two. But I promise you; it’s divisive. Just check your social media feed.

I know many people who say they have stopped following people on social channels and avoid the news because they’re so upset by the divisiveness.

By definition, your church needs to include people who are different than you.

God is not a Republican, a Democrat, a conservative, a liberal or a socialist. He transcends all our political categories, however important they might be to us.

Politics matters, but it will never change the world the way the Gospel can (or has).

Should Christians vote? Of course. Should Christians run for office? Absolutely. We need more women and men of character and conviction in government.

But the church doesn’t exist to elect or defeat politicians. It exists to glorify Christ and grow his Kingdom (which is an alt Kingdom) in the world. (Here are a few more thoughts on being the church in the present political climate.)

Just know this: if God has all the same opinions your political party does, you’re probably not worshipping God.

3. Style

It seems the likes and dislikes of Christians run deep and wide these days.

We have opinions on everything from the coffee we serve to the color of the paint to the flooring in the auditorium to what we call the auditorium (“It’s a sanctuary, people!” he said, loudly) to the color shirt the greeting team wears.

Christians seriously leave churches and try to divide churches over issues like that?

You know what that is? It’s pettiness.

Obviously, at some level, all those things matter.

But instead of running it through a filter of what you like, run it instead through a filter of whether what you do is effective in reaching the people you’re trying to reach.

And church leaders, you need to choose who you focus on: members or those not yet coming to your church.

I agree with my friend Reggie Joiner who says leaders should focus on who they want to reach, not who they want to keep.

4. Buildings

As Christians, sometimes we get more attached to our buildings than we do to our mission. Christians should also be willing to give up their buildings to reach more people.

This can happen on several levels.

First, don’t resist renovations. If you’re still asking toddlers to meet downstairs in a mouldy basement with green carpet, don’t be surprised when you can’t keep young families coming to your church.

Second, be willing to do what it takes to reach people. Sometimes that might mean moving from a permanent to a portable location. Other times it might mean doing a huge expansion. Don’t resist.

Finally, in a growing number of cases where churches are dying, this will mean flipping the keys to a growing church that lacks a building.

One of the oddities of the era we’re in these days is that the churches who have buildings often have no people, and the church plants that have people often have no building. Flip that.

I love hearing about the growing number of churches who are giving their building, assets, and leadership over to a young church that’s reaching people.

5. Money

Dying churches that own buildings also often have money.

If a church doesn’t flip the keys and simply closes, then in many cases, denominations (many of which are also in decline) often take the money after a church closes and uses it to prop up, well, a dying denomination.

What if instead that money was redeployed to plant new churches? Even new churches that aren’t part of that ‘denomination’?

In the emerging post-Christian era, it’s time to build THE Kingdom rather than YOUR Kingdom.

Similarly, older Christians tend to have more money than younger Christians.

What if Christians who had money used their resources to fund innovation rather than fight it?

Could you imagine what might happen?

6. Time

Being the church is about a lot more than showing up for an hour on Sunday or tuning in online.

If you’re really going to reach the next generation, it means giving your time too.

Authentic Christianity is more about what we give than what we get. Our giving doesn’t earn us our salvation, of course, but it’s a joyful response to a God who gave everything for us.

7. Our lives

Christians should be the most generous and selfless people on the planet.

Sadly, we’re often known as the stingiest and most selfish (ask any non-Christian who’s worked at a restaurant).

The Gospel calls us to die to ourselves so that others may live and to put something bigger than ourselves above ourselves.

If you give your life away, you find it.

When you die to yourself, something greater rises.

Stop Spinning Your Wheels…Let’s Solve This Together

What Do You Think?

I’d love to hear what you think Christians should do to help reach our communities and the people God loves so deeply.

Scroll down and leave a comment.

7 Things Christians Should Give Up To Reach Unchurched People


  1. FairStar on July 8, 2021 at 4:57 am

    “Unchurched” person here. I heard the term on the radio and looked it up in the internet. First of all the term denotes a relationship between church and the individual. It’s not correct though. You can’t undress if you were never dressed to begin with. You can’t unknot that which was never tied nor unwrap something that was never packaged. Next, would you go out to a restaurant by yourself? What if you’ve never been to a restaurant before in your life? What if that restaurant was in a strange land where you don’t know any of the customs? When and where to sit, how to order and address the waiter, which fork or knife to use, how to read the menu, etc? Here is my tip to you, invite your friend to church and then offer to pick them up in your car! No one will show up just because you invite them and that’s because they don’t know the customs! They need a guide.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on July 8, 2021 at 1:06 pm

      This is a fantastic addition to this conversation. The internal language of the western Church (what is sometimes referred to as “Christianese”) can keep us from asking the questions we need to ask. Thank you for all the points you make!

    • Saddened on August 2, 2021 at 9:57 pm

      Strange way to describe the bride of Christ. It’s appears men desire methods, marketing, institutions, and traditions to replace the Bridegroom. They opt for the sin nature and synchronicity over the truth.

      • Gman on August 14, 2021 at 9:45 pm

        Well said!

  2. WG on July 6, 2021 at 11:11 am

    We are not called to transform the Church.
    We are called to be a transformed people inside God’s Church.

    I understand and hear all your points and I see how they are all helpful in one way or another. But we must remember this:
    God’s way is often seen as foolishness = Faith is required
    Man’s way/man’s wisdom often means Pragmatism = Faith is not required, but boy it gets results.

    What kind of Church does God want to build?
    What kind of Church do we want to build?

  3. Impact Church Reynoldsburg on September 14, 2020 at 7:24 am

    Yep – agree with all of these points.
    Stop hanging onto old habits and methods that don’t work,
    and embrace trying new things.
    Thanks Carey!

    • Sonia on April 11, 2021 at 2:42 am

      Yes, I agree and more. Most churches teach some sort of heresy or another either blatantly or discretely. A Christian should remain a disciple; this means an inquisitive searcher of truth. The church definitely will stop you from doing that. You can never grow spiritually if you’re in a church because you’re not the master of your soul; your pastor and elders are. Also, church loads you with silly tasks that fill up your time without contributing to the winning of extra souls. So, you neither left to grow and prosper, spiritually speaking, nor other new souls are being reached.

      • Karen Green on August 5, 2021 at 4:35 am

        I absolutely love 💕 what you’ve stated here this has been me for so much of my life spiritually. At the churches I’ve gone in and out of this is why I should have been a Disciple , but even then I won souls for Jesus Christ being in a church not being the master of my own soul this is what the Lord has been calling me out for he has more for me to do. Thank you so much Bless you. Amen

  4. Charles McLean on September 13, 2020 at 8:43 pm

    I am struck by the incredible irony of this article and the ad which follows it. The motives of “growing our church” and “reaching our community” are generally mutually-exclusive. The former is dedication to “the ones you keep”. I taught church growth seminars in the 1980’s and this is pretty much the same stuff I was putting on the overhead projector forty years ago. Church growth is about creating a better boat to catch the fish with and a bigger tank to keep them in. The number of fish in the tank is the ultimate measure of success. Yes, it’s hard to sell lessons in reducing self-interest, in not making our own outfit bigger and better. Not many customers for that course. Nobody in the world of American religion clubs seems to be much interested in spending our own time and treasure just to see people meet Jesus and not come to our church.

    Carey’s advice here is old news. Update the music, spend more money on the kids, get people involved in the programs. Don’t try to please people, but keep ’em happy or they might go elsewhere. Nothing here requires any real significant change in the way we see things or do things. These are all tweaks, designed to make our current model more efficient at getting more butts in the seats.

    • Patrick Warren on May 1, 2021 at 5:25 am


  5. Richard on September 13, 2020 at 6:30 pm

    Carey, well put! We really need to heed to these wise words. My friends and I are on the front lines of ministry trying to win souls to Christ and these words really provide good counsel! Keep it up Carey!

    • Dennis J Migliazzo on September 15, 2020 at 1:00 pm

      Hi Richard, imho your comment reflects the “core” of the problem “trying to win souls to Christ….” 1. I would ask you and your friends this first of all: Why are you in ministry? Then, what is it about the Gospel message that causes people (you and me included) to “come to it, and respond to it?” 2. Can you explain to me why a non believer would want to become a believer? (can you explain that to yourself? Can I? ) imho, then, and only then, in humility am I able to “share” the Gospel and KNOW with confidence that others WILL come to it and WANT to join in….BECAUSE of God’s grace. “my burden is light, my yoke is easy…”

  6. Coco on September 13, 2020 at 2:52 pm

    I think Jesus would embrace those in our current culture
    who are out of the frame: rap artists, women who’ve had abortions, divorced people, the homeless, the racially marginalized. This is the harvest, and we are the ones with good news! God help us let go of systems that keep them out of our “club”!

  7. Thomas Hussmannn on September 13, 2020 at 9:39 am

    Not on topic, but I have tried to read this article on two different devices, in both cases, your pop-ups have given me no option to decline the offer and keep reading and I have to back completely out of your site. Pretty frustrating

  8. Gene on September 13, 2020 at 8:21 am

    I have to agree to disagree on two of your seven things to give up…music and politics. Part of our problem with a lot of the modern music is actually unbiblical and is mostly feel good about ME! Secondly, the politics you say we should give up. We are where we are at because we have believed the lie that Christians should not talk about politics, the very institution that makes decisions for us. So we’ve regulated “baby murder in and now out of the womb” to so-called Pro-Choice…no, they are actually PRO_DEATH, but if I go with your suggestion not to talk politics then I must stop talking about abortion, the KILLING of babies. Sir, I WILL NOT!

  9. Kirk on March 2, 2020 at 5:48 pm

    Unchurched? DEchurched? NEVERchurched?
    ASK them. then shut up and listen. no comments afterward, say thank you and go someplace. THEN discuss.

    • Dee on March 2, 2020 at 6:38 pm

      I don’t get it. Go someplace??

      • John Clarence on March 4, 2020 at 11:08 am

        The church is the body of Christ, a body that is edified for the building up of the saints. It is not a place where the non-believer should be going to feel good about themselves. The only stipulation that is made about a church fellowship regarding the non-believer is that it be orderly in case non-believers do stop in due to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. The Gospel is shared outside the Church, teaching for the saints are shared inside the Church. If numbers dwindle to a handful, so be it. It was never meant to be an entertainment venue.

        • Mr. Lee Bartoletti on December 27, 2020 at 4:11 pm

          John Clarence,


        • DepDad on January 14, 2021 at 7:02 pm

          John Clarence: Your response is one of the few that are biblical. The unbeliever does not want to seek God. We don’t cater the church to the unbeliever.

        • Patrick Warren on May 1, 2021 at 5:29 am

          John Clarence, I couldn’t have said it better myself! Amen!!!

        • Anew child of God on July 4, 2021 at 7:26 am

          If Church is only for the good people Jesus would have ate with the Pharisees and not the Publicans and sinners. Those that are well do not need a doctor it’s the sick that need a doctor. I lived for 44 years unchurched, unchanged in this world with a heart of stone and not a care for any other of Gods creation I was to a point I did not want to live anymore I was broken and sick my soul destroyed by this world I went to church one day and Jesus found me at my knees, I was healed I had no physical sickness my soul was broken I lept up and walked anew in Christ redeemed by His blood and forgiven by the mercy of the Father. If Church is only for the saints you are taking the glory and power out of my salvation and the power of the resurrection for ALL that I found in a Church. If we justify Church as a place to hide and trade new things we discovered in the bible with one and other as doing Gods work we are not spreading the Gospel. If Church is only a place for saints to learn Jesus would have set up a building with 12 seats and all of the apostles would have locked the doors and talked amongst themselves. Jesus is the truth, the light, the way Church should be a beacon of that light for ALL!. God Bless you and thank you God for loving us so much that you gave us ALL an opportunity for Salvation through your son Jesus Christ.

      • Larry on June 9, 2021 at 6:09 pm

        First of all”unchurched,” is an unbiblical Nonsense word. Secondly, the gathering of the church is for the church, not the lost, oh, sorry, unchurched. Evangelism takes place outside the church gathering. You really need to see the biblical nature and purpose for the Ecclesia.

    • anton on April 8, 2020 at 4:26 am

      question here to all . We are a ministry band , we go out and play serve and pray . big question here is > Should we always wait upon the Lord before we go out to serve the “unreachable”

  10. Joyce Ballentine on November 9, 2019 at 12:15 pm

    God bless you. These words are so true, You cannot connect with people you are not considering. Reaching the spiritually lost begins with passion. Passion drives practices. If the church leaders are passionate about reaching lost people, then it will bleed out onto every part of the church. Remember, Jesus’ passion literally bled out. Before you can reach the lost, your heart must break for what breaks the heart of God — and God’s heart breaks for people. Do not even attempt to change the programs of the church until you’ve changed the passion in the church.

    • Tiredof False on February 23, 2020 at 11:54 pm

      God gives instruction for Christians as its contained in the Holy Bible (Gods Sacred Word). At the end of the day it is GOD not Christians who draws the unchurched. Non-Christians need to mind their business and not talk about what Christians or the church needs to do. Christians need only serve Christ because its not about popularity with the world. Its about pleasing Christ. At the end of the day, if the unchurched rejects Christ & his message of truth its is not on the head of the Believer. Reject the Truth at your own peril. There are consequences for everything we do. Few will find the faith due to their own hearts not because of fellow believers.

      • Tiredof False on February 24, 2020 at 12:04 am

        People reject the Word & Christ that is their choice. In this world we have troubles. Worry about your won salvation with fear & trembling. The road is narrow and it is hard to find it. Some people will always reject it because they are disciples of darkness and their names aren’t written in The Book of Life. No unbeliever has the capacity or the right to judge a Christian. Only, Jesus can judge a Believer. If the unchurched reject Christ its because they choose to reject the truth. They choose to not believe. People are free to accept or reject Christ’s truth but there are consequences that come with such a decision. The most vital part of the Christ life is walking with Christ and pleasing GOD—not man.

    • Sylvia on September 13, 2020 at 12:22 pm

      Thank you, beautifully said!
      A passion for souls …
      Our hearts need to break for the broken in our communities.
      Reminds me of Romans 12:1-2
      Presenting our bodies – our lives
      As a living sacrifice – the purpose of sacrifice was to connect sinners to the presence of God. Sacrificing our personal preferences and our comforts in order to reach the lost.
      Begins with humility and prayer and seeking God to transform our own hearts with sacrificial love.

  11. glenn jedlicka on September 28, 2019 at 7:50 pm

    did paul the apostle and teh other apostles preserve the intention of evangelism to other cultures , or did Paul and the other apostles adapt to each cultures ways and philosophies and invite those idea’s into the churches culture? what is your answer? and teh scripture evidence?

    • Bua Emmy on October 5, 2019 at 2:47 am

      According to the matter of fact
      Jesus Christ is the Lord

  12. men Vests on September 16, 2019 at 4:44 pm

    Good site you have got here.. It’s difficult to
    find quality writing like yours nowadays. I honestly appreciate people like you!
    Take care!!

    • Carey Nieuwhof on September 16, 2019 at 6:58 pm

      Thank you!

      • Bishop Femi Olaide on March 1, 2020 at 1:15 am

        My ministry bridge the gap among various Christian cultures through our supports in church sound, media and broadcasting.

        Lots needs to be done.

        I learnt greatly from you. God bless you.

  13. Ned Beadel on July 22, 2019 at 7:30 am

    The point of the article is about 7 things christians have to give up to reach people for Christ where it should be 7 things Christians must do to reach irreligious, non-believing, unchurched (whatever title you prefer) people for Christ. I read through most of the comments is they are based on, as is the article, that if you “do this or that” they will come. They will not come!!!!! Changing the music, tho’ helpful, will not mean people will now come and check out the church or come to Christ – or preaching the gospel, though fundamental to any church because the gospel is relevant to the world we live in will not bring groves of people to the church. We have lost sight of Christ’s MANDATE to “Go and make disciples.” We live in a post-Christian world! If we’re trying to solve the post-modern issues for the church – that ship sailed years ago in the 90’s. We are living, in many ways, almost like the same type of world the gospel was born into when Jesus sent his disciples into the world. We love to read the the first 5 or 6 chapters of Acts where the Holy Spirit is bringing droves of people to faith because the church is filled with the power of the Holy Spirit, but what about Acts 19 where Paul goes to the Hall of Tyrannus daily to bring the gospel to people. I would imagine Paul cultivated relationships with people in that Hall if he showed up there everyday for two years. Yes, the Holy Spirit worked through Paul in mighty ways and yes, we must be filled and directed and led by the Spirit and not by our clever entrepreneurial skill sets (tho those aren’t bad to have and use) but my focus and thus my question is do we have relationships (more like friendships) with non-believing, irreligious, unchurched people. And if not, are we willing to cultivate those relationships? We all have contact with non believers on a regular basis through work or through our children’s or grandchildren’s activities but friendships!!!!!!! Do we have them so we can share the gospel through our actions and our words? Jesus shows up on the scene and goes to those who need a doctor, who need saving – sinners, outcasts, irreligious people. He touches lepers, people with crippled hands, the lame, talks with Samaritan women at watering holes, Centurions, synagogue rulers, tax collectors, rich young entrepreneurs, women caught in adultery, religious leaders, he builds relationships. Because our God is a personal God!!!!!!!!!!! Doesn’t it make sense to build relationships with non believing people so we can help them have a relationship with the living God? Wasn’t that on Jesus’ mind when he gave us the MANDATE of Matthew 28 and Acts 1? Are we willing to leave the 99 to find the one?

    • Carri on February 29, 2020 at 3:10 am

      Amen Ned! I agree. the individual members of the Church are to GO OUT and be a witness. That is God’s design for evangelism. We should NOT compromise what we do in the Church service for unbelievers! The Church is for the Christian not the unbeliever. Yes, we should welcome them into the service and love them but never do we design the Church service for them. We build up the saint, teaching them God’s Word, training up disciples, developing their gifts so that they can GO OUT and do the work of the ministry out in the world; market place, job, home, family and friends and all the public places they may be, to share the Gospel. The seeker friendly church has proven to produce false converts, with a watered down false gospel. The CHURCH needs to be different and not conform to the world. PERIOD. We need to teach our people to be SALT AND LIGHT.

      • Paralee shivers on July 26, 2020 at 12:20 pm

        The role of the Christian is to go ye therefore…seek the loss and share the love of Christ even during the time of COVI D19. The blood of Jesus will keep us as seek to bring men,women, boys and girls to Christ!

    • Dennis Elrick on March 2, 2020 at 9:58 am

      Yes, yes, yes!!!!!!
      My wife and I have worked for years building relationships with non-believers. First you love them and come along side of them to share life together. They know who we are from the start and that never changes. As the Holy Spirit leads they begin to see Him, the wall of blindness begin to break down as they see you as authentic. Then they understand God is at work and He is real. This takes time and dedication to the mission, but it works! Praise the Lord who loves deeply and ministers to the broken hearted. We should be churches of the healing of the broken hearted. Feeding the masses with the True Bread of Life, Jesus Christ.

  14. Steven Malone on June 24, 2019 at 11:12 am

    I think there isn’t enough marketplace evangelism, and words need to be used when necessary. What I mean is demonstrating the love of God. Also, speaking prophetically onto there lives so they know it is authentic. *Then invite.

    • Gianna Thompson on March 5, 2020 at 5:07 pm

      No that’s not all we’re called to do! What you’re describing is the very self-centeredness, self-righteousness the author is trying to get away from! I’ll tell you from first hand experience that it is above all the genuine love and concern shown to non members that makes room for contemplating Christianity. Christ calls us to be HIS DISCIPLES and that doesn’t look like the judgmental behavior you’re trying to justify!

    • Gianna Thompson on March 5, 2020 at 5:12 pm

      My comment is for Stephen Mendes.

  15. Stephen Mendes on May 30, 2019 at 7:26 pm

    I think you mean well and I agree with most of your points but church growth should not involve compromise…… there are some churches growing rapidly and (as another poster mentioned) their platforms are actually stages…. people come because of the entertainment …. which includes ‘big name’ artistes and popular musicians …… along with comedy, dance and drama …… theatrics and performance is what it’s all about….. accompanied by laser lights and fog banks that would rival anything that the ‘world’ has to offer….. it’s big business, big money and professional entertainment …. but it’s supposedly being done ‘all for Jesus’ ….. the Christianity they present is not the one I read about in my Bible.

    Let’s face it ….. there IS a great ‘falling away’ …. and it’s predicted in the Bible …. the elect will continue to worship God in the beauty of HOLINESS (whether people join the church or not) ….. so do not be overly bothered whether people leave or join the fellowship….. just make sure everything is as it should be according to what’s in the Bible.

    This is not Dale Carnegie…. ‘how to win friends and influence people’ ….. God is well able to bring people to the church if He wants to….. and we should not have to resort to Public Relations tactics and Marketing techniques to lure people into the churches and make them feel comfortable ‘with a familiar worldly setting’ …… in reality ‘we’ cannot save anybody….. and it’s foolish to try…… all we are called to do is live Godly lives and leave the rest up to God.

    • Lola on June 5, 2019 at 10:50 am

      You’re right that we cannot save anybody but we can definitely do more to attract people to church. God has done his part by sending his son to die for us. Leaving the ‘rest up to God is an irresponsible attitude. The bible says ‘ Go ye into the world and preach the gospel; Mark 16:15. Matthew 28:19 states that we should make disciples of all men. Whether you like it or not we have our part to play. A church that makes peope feel loved and valued will definitely attract more people.

      • Wes Allen on October 17, 2019 at 10:25 am

        Mark 16:15. Matthew 28:19 is an Apostolic Commissioning given to the Apostles of the Lamb. Are you an Apostle? Christians are called to make disciples and that is accomplished for the most part by “lifestyle” evangelism. Most unsaved are turned off and shut down to you when you start the chapter and verse thing. The way you live and react to life is what people notice and will cause them to ask you to give a reason for what you believe. Evangelism is accomplished by an Evangelist away from where Christians meet and done in a tent/building. Once saved they are now able to enter the fold of God’s people. Satan’s crowd (unsaved) have no place with God’s people.

    • Deborah Vanderhamm on June 16, 2019 at 8:43 am


    • Mark P. on August 29, 2019 at 4:16 pm

      Bro! Yes! I type in to Google: “where does the Bible say the church must change its methods to reach the world?”, and this article pops up. It’s a great article, but not what I was looking for. I was more looking to literally find where in specific does the Bible tell the church that it must conform to the world, I mean oops, change the methods it uses to reach the lost. Where does it say don’t change Christ’s Words, but change the methods to attract people? I read in Acts 2 and it says THE HOLY SPIRIT added the people to the church. All the church was doing was seeking God’s face, and when the time came that The Holy Spirit descended upon the faithful 120, under the power of The Holy Spirit, Peter preached a convicting message to those bewildered by what was going on. Prayer, fasting, asking, seeking, knocking; get this, holiness; hings that were not being practiced by the religious, nor by the world, those things that marked a difference are what caused the true church to grow in number of believer, converts, faithful followers of Christ, and not attendance. I do not apologize for this long discourse, all this to say, if you are looking for a specific place where the Bible tells the church to change its method of reaching the lost, I would recommend studying Acts, and the ministries of Paul and Jesus (Spoiler Alert: It doesn’t say that in the bible. *Macaulay Culkin shaving in Home Alone face*). God bless you all! 🙂

      • Bua Emmy on September 29, 2019 at 8:10 am

        Hoo…… Romans 8:35-38
        Who shall separate us from the love of Christ

      • Theresa Lavery on October 8, 2019 at 8:55 pm

        You never change God’s word but if it doesn’t work you Chan be the way you do things . I am a leader of a mothersand toddlers group in a church were I fellowship in Belfast Northern Ireland 2 summers ago a girl came into our group 1 Monday morning with 2 little boys she was pregnant with another child it was the month of May the next month we had our graduation and toddlers prize giving her oldest son prize was a book on how Daniel prayed 3 months later I contacted her she told me how she gave her heart to the Lord that was summer 2016 then on the 4/3/19 I was sharing my testimony one Sunday evening and I shared about how I suffered with mental health illness a number of years ago a young mum from our toddlers group had come into church she had attended mother’s & toddlers for 8 years altogether and 4 children later she gave her life to the saviour and 6 months later she serves on the welcome team @ church and is a children’s leader @ our kids club were her 3 children attend and here the good news of the gospel and finally I have been married for 32 years and my husband mother is 87 years old and yesterday I was able to explain to her how we were all born in sin that we were sinners Romans 3_23 told her how God loves her so much John 3_16 that God’s son died on the cross of Calvery for our sins 8ßayed do you remember the prayer . Come into my heart Lord Jesus come into day come into stay come into my heart Lord Jesus my 87 year old mother in law gave her heart to the saviour . In faith alone through Christ alone . I have no other argument I have no other plea it is enough that Jesus died and that he died for me .

        • Louis Rogers on September 14, 2020 at 2:49 pm

          beannachtaí duit as do sheirbhís don slánaitheoir

      • Mark on October 10, 2019 at 3:11 am

        Let us all know how you get on when you go to the synagogue to preach about Christ. That was Paul’s method when he arrived in a new town. Perhaps that method has changed over the years in reaching the lost. What do you think?

    • Katie Graham on December 6, 2019 at 3:55 am

      I completely agree with what you are saying! I haven’t left fellowship or Christianity, I tend to have a huge fear of ever leaving Christ which is by God’s grace and goodness, however I haven’t been to church in awhile because I feel like many churches only care about entertainment than sharing the Gospel. Churches nowadays focus way too much on compromise and pleasing people rather than pleasing God and His Word, and honestly that’s why it is hard to go to church. I love God’s house and my brothers and sisters in Christ, but it’s hard to find a church where you can really have actual fellowship with God’s people. Everyone just tends to leave after service, and it can be understandable if you’re busy, but everyone needs fellowship with one another. The only fellowship nowadays, which isn’t bad at all, is going to another Christian’s home and having a potluck, but I believe we need to look beyond that sometimes and lend a listening ear to our fellow brothers and sisters. Again, I love my brothers and sisters in Christ and I don’t want to sound divisive, but it is hard to fellowship with other believers who always rather give advice, which advice is sometimes what we need to hear, rather than also listening with a lending ear. Lending a listening ear tends to be more encouraging than giving out an opinion all the time, and I’ve realized I’ve done this as well. I know we are imperfect even as Christians and we still need Jesus our Holy Lord and Savior, but we can only try our best to show Jesus to a dying world.

  16. Chris on May 18, 2019 at 3:40 pm

    Or you can grow up and stop being pagan savages.

    • Linda on March 10, 2020 at 11:44 am

      Suzy, I liked what you said because it had an authentic ring to it. I think you really put your finger on ‘churchianity’ and the real reason many people don’t go to church anymore, because it just doesn’t relate to them and to life as it is, it’s a kind of false imposed system. However, trying to tell church people – of whatever ilk – just doesn’t seem to work. It’s like two worlds are co-existing and the church world has no idea how the other side thinks anymore.
      After many years, I have got to be quite an observer of people, and the religion has been draining out of me. What’s more, I have got to respect the plain commonsense of the people more than ever before. Quite frankly, if I were an unbeliever and saw with my natural eyes much of the church’s attempts at evangelism, it’s behaviour towards many ‘little folk’, its complete lack of ‘balance’ in so many things (I could go on), then I might be easily forgiven for not wanting anything to do with it. Because – for sure, there are many lovely and loving people in the churches – in general the churches are a very long way from behaving as Christ in the world. And, whether they like it or not, the unbelievers know the difference between the inferior product they are being offered and the real thing. They have had a bellyful of ‘religion’ and now we have got to a generation – young and old – who are no longer prepared to stomach it. This is the end of the road and judgment is beginning – nay, is well under way – at the house of God. But, like Samson, they do not know that their glory has departed.
      Don’t give up, keep on soldiering on, because God has not died, nor ever ceased to care. Keep on seeking, knocking, asking, and you will come through, for He is faithful. I know, because after 15 years ‘out of church’ (and there are some unbalanced ‘nutcases’ out there too), I have a faith in God and a walk with Him that has never been stronger. I visit the churches (and often groan inwardly because I know He loves them) but my hope and my trust is in Him alone. To put it simply – God is the only one who can get us out of this mess and bring the revival that I believe is on his heart. Put all your trust in Him and do not let the circumstances nullify your faith.

  17. Suzy on April 27, 2019 at 10:21 pm

    Church was original a gathering of those who already believe that Jesus was real and they gathered to encourage and strengthen one another. They also read the letters of Paul and others read the letters of Peter, John, etc, much like early sermons or Christian blogs to understand what it means to be a follower of Christ.
    If every service is dedicated to reaching the lost, then the flock is not getting fed and strengthened to go out and live in a world that rejects them while trying to reach the lost with Christ’s love. Church is a gathering of believers, not a big tent revival.
    I experience church as an outsider because we didn’t go to church. I see a lot of these tactics to try to attract people like, barn wood and coffee bars, as sort of shallow. Like are they trying to sell me a car or get me to join a cult? Then every sermon is psychologically and emotionally manipulative as they try to get an alter call out of as many people as possible. I need Jesus every hour, but I’m already redeemed. I also find it offensive that if you’re new to the area or just trying a new church, it’s assumed you are a lost sinner and why aren’t you accepting the alter call? I’ve even out ushered the ushers visiting churches, giving up my to people I see standing. I might know my Bible better than the minister. Don’t assume some is lost or saved. You don’t know. Also, I’ve contacted churches or filled out the visitor card per the ministers request, even filled out the prayer request with some heavy issues. Never heard back. Just got a bulk email about signing up for the join our church class. That’s why people are leaving. They also only serve each other and rarely the people living in darkness outside their doors. I keep thinking God wants me to go to the strip motel or the laundry mat next to the new upcoming trend church and start grilling for these folks and tell them, Yes – Jesus loves you, take his yolk for his burden is light. As a mom, the last thing I want is a commitment to serve a church, get up on Sunday and go to church, give them money that stays with that building, why? Have to leave my agnostic husband at home, divide the family. I could just do a little church at home, tell them a Bible story. Then the verse popped into my head,
    “”For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
    Churches try to get you to join more than a guy trying to get a date. When The pastor drives a better car than you, takes nicer vacations than you and lives in a bigger home than yours…..
    Who’s washing who’s feet? Who am I serving when I serve the church. Now if we’re talking about going out into the community to help those in need, OK. I signed up once to bring a meal to a member who had cancer. When I brought it to her house her and all her friends were waiting and drinking wine like they had ordered take out. I felt like a fool. They didn’t even invite me to stay or introduce themselves. We were supposedly fellow church members. I wasn’t a member of this church actually, I’m not sure why they allowed me to serve. They only Baptize in members pools 3 times a year. I don’t have a pool, but felt the call to be baptized, none of the churches would do it without me being a member or attending a class. Can you imagine John telling people to take a class before accepting Christ? Some churches attach baptism as a part of salvation or if you don’t do it your disobedient, and then withhold doing it. What if I died? I’m this close to being an atheist. I read the Bible and I’ve accepted Christ. But church, I just think it has nothing to do with what we are supposed to be doing. The harvest is many and the workers are few. The harvest is outside the church. I have nothing against church, but I think it’s lost it’s way and it’s more about giving people an experience rather than convicting people of sin and pointing them to restoration through Jesus Christ.

    • 64 but loving the Lord on April 27, 2019 at 11:29 pm

      Sister, I have grown up in the church, got married and moved to another city and another church, been a part of multiple churches along the way, and I benefited greatly because of the teaching, fellowship, prayer support I received and shared with the others. But here I am now, 64 years old, and feeling LOST because I don’t even recognize what we have now as a worship service anymore. Lights flashing, people slurpinging away on the Big Gulp, running in and out for something from the coffee bar, and people jumping around on the “stage” (not the platform) bringing all the attention that belongs to our great God…to themselves instead!!! Folks, when you draw attention to your microphoned voice over everyone else’s, wear inappropriate clothing and flashing rings on your mic hand to look good etc, you are not focusing people to worship…you are drawing attention to yourselves. It is ridiculous what Sunday morning has become, and I agree with this sister who wrote the last post…. We are trying to do on Sunday morning what Jesus told us to do OUTSIDE the church, which is preaching the Gospel to the lost OUTSIDE THE WALLS OF THE CHURCH and bring them into the fold… I guess it is easier to dummy down things on Sunday mornings and make everyone comfy, making the church resemble the world, a coffee shop or a rock concert TO ATTRACT PEOPLE, than to do what we are supposed to do because no one has been equipped to go outside and witness… “Let’s bring them in HERE and get em all saved”… rubbish! In my whole life, I have never seen a drug addict or unchurched person wander into a Sunday morning… It is totally foreign to them and the last thing they will ever do. Jesus knew what He was talking about when He gave us the Great Commission. Let’s being worship back to Sunday mornings and encourage the Body..indeed the gathering IS for the Church, the believers. I fear the church has become an emotional experience, much like the adrenalin rush one gets from a sports event… they come in, jump and scream, go out and say, wowwww, we sure worshiped this morning!!!

      • anonymous on October 4, 2019 at 10:57 am

        Thats just you and there are churches you should not to go and there are some you should go to. People don’t jump and dance to take away from God they do it because God lives inside them bringing them joy. Those can’t help you get the joy if you feel defeated and have turned away to not focus on him. #64 and missing the point of what they are doing reaching the unchurched

    • Emmanuel Adewuyi on November 23, 2019 at 7:25 am

      Did l miss something ?
      You said some churches take baptism as part of salvation ..
      The question is
      Why will you want to be baptised if you are not saved ?
      Baptism is indeed should come after Salvation.
      … Repent and be ye baptised…
      ….the ethiopian eunuch example is baptism after conversion..
      We can consider the bible study Phillip did as the training before baptism
      Just to point out that.

    • Bob on January 5, 2021 at 9:09 pm

      Suzy, your comments are superior to any others posted here.

    • Timothy J Bonner on June 21, 2021 at 11:57 pm

      Suzy, your statements are the most valid and meaningful of all the responses. Thank you for your serious, insightful, personal story.

  18. Gerbling on April 19, 2019 at 1:53 am

    Seems many commenters have taken the term unchurched to mean unbeliever, atheist, or even anti-theist. Traditionally unchurched just refers to Christians who are not currently connected to or regularly attending a church.

  19. Celeste on April 2, 2019 at 10:27 am

    Awesome article!!

    • Ilikelight on April 14, 2019 at 11:39 pm

      You know.. I read a comment.. Which gave power to the dragon..
      Now there is one whom casts fire from heaven.. Before men..and sites his children.. For lake of knowledge..
      And this one is that which christ called.. The dark prince..
      Or with speaking with the jews.. He said.. Your father is the devil..
      A liar and a murderer from the beginning..
      Its indeed a powerful.. Beast..
      But.. God is the spirit force.. Of life.. He resides within you..
      Perhaps.. Better explained.. As God’s holy spirit..
      Whom has all the attributes of the spirit of truth..
      Whom will be with you.. Forever more..
      He is ever so personal ever so true.. And he lives in you.. So if you are to pray.. And don’t know this..
      Indeed.. Pray the lords prayer..
      But he is personally in you. Seeing too through your eyes.. Moving too your hands..
      Fitting perfectly.. Like a glove..
      So you can pray in private.. Because privately.. He hears you.. He even knows your very thought..

      I know.. Its written.. And difficult to understand..
      But if a person.. Believes.. With thier heart.. That God made everything..
      Wouldn’t it be a insult to God that a prince.. Could take power from you.. Which In turn.. Is taking power from God..
      Or.. That rather then.. He is God of the living.. And that you live.. He then.. Is God of all that lives..
      So children of the.. Dark one.. Are too his children.. And that most give their power to the dragon.. And know not what they do..
      Be glad.. Then.. That you pray.. To christ and christ takes it to the father..
      Less you be.. In service of the dark prince..
      So in church.. Who is it that is it that they say father to…
      Is it perhaps.. The God of the jews..
      Therefore.. You must be saved.
      Church might help..
      But personal in private.. Is what christ taught..

      • A.L. on August 2, 2019 at 9:57 pm

        What are you jabbering about? Talk about self-absorbed

      • Wes Allen on October 17, 2019 at 10:02 am

        Your comment “That you pray.. To christ and christ takes it to the father..” is not what the scriptures teach. It is written: “And in that day you will ask Me (Jesus) nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you. John 16:23 NKJV.

        Please do your own study before you teach error to others. There is no excuse for this ignorance. We must come to God on His terms and not ours. Effectual prayer is a result of praying God’s will and His will is His word. Understand?

  20. Celia John on February 7, 2019 at 11:17 pm

    Mark 16:14-16 King James Version (KJV)
    14 Afterward he appeared unto the eleven as they sat at meat, and upbraided them with their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they believed not them which had seen him after he was risen.

    15 And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.

    16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

    • Donna on February 9, 2019 at 3:48 am

      To the original writer of this article. Let’s get this straight, unchurched is nothing more than a new age term for unbeliever, children of the devil! It’s time to scrap the buildings and all the money they demand in upkeep and return to the home aka house church! And that would include keeping out those who are destructive to the Body of Christ, not everybody should be welcome, not even Jesus gave His time and self to all men, for He knew what was in men, therefore there are some who should be avoided like the plague! Another thing, the larger the congregation the more hiding room for unbelievers, some of whom have destructive motives! Big congregations do not mean a church is growing, it is more likely to be more chaff than wheat!

      • Gwen on May 28, 2019 at 4:02 pm

        The greatest commandment we were given – after loving God with all that we can – is loving others. The Bible says over and over again to leave judgment to Jesus. As sinners ourselves, dismissing someone else for their sins would make us hypocrites. God is without sin, and He knows everything, which makes Him the only one fit to judge who “should be avoided like the plague”. To reiterate, Jesus said very clearly that we were NOT to try to judge as He will judge, just to love those around us. Sure, maybe in a big congregation there is “more chaff than wheat”, but trying to figure out who the “chaff” is is literally the opposite of what we are called to do as Christians.

      • Wes Allen on October 17, 2019 at 10:10 am

        Good word bro! Allow me to add this: There are two kinds of people in the world: saved and unsaved. It is the evangelist call to win the lost by the preaching of the Gospel. That process does not take place where Christians assemble. It takes place down the street in an evangelist tent. Once saved they may now enter the fold of God’s sheep. Satan’s crowd (unredeemed) have no part with God’s people.

        Never ever take your unsaved neighbor to church with you. Take them to an evangelist meeting. They are around you just need to seek them.

  21. Ilikelight123 on January 22, 2019 at 12:40 am

    The church is but a building..and the people are those whom either are in. Search of a place to gather and do good works..for the body is fathers temple..the temple of the holy spirit..
    Whoms attrubutes..are..
    The truth..with you now.
    Now in that of churches..or places of worship..
    We are to gather there..to organize..activities..to which ..come to the aid..of the needy..
    And speak loudly the teachings of christ…and lowly to the fire and brimestone lake of fire stuff.
    But for the needy..we can shine the light of christs..gifts and he will shine that light..upon them and from within them…for he grants new beginnings..and shines the light of fathers holy spirit..
    And if those whom gather..unto a church..do not know this..nor seek to do the works. Let then this be heard at heart level to open your ears..close your eyes..and seek the l ight..
    For from within you..is greater within..
    And now is the time..in which your community..as saints and angels..men of honour women of high stature..shall raise to the task at hand..
    As the waters rise..and the lands burn from arid airs..so to do the contents..plates shift..causing volcanos..and droughts..and the van allen belts weeken and shift..our protection from the solar flairs..are opening the surface of earth to even more..devitation..our oceans are filled with plastic..
    and the radioactivity within them increases daily..from nucular melt downs..
    Im not proficit here am i..
    So now is the time to gather..and understand..
    And the church is ..from that place inwhich we can..gather to organize..to collect..funds to activate
    And proceed..to conquier..to come to the aid..of the party.
    For love is kindness in action..
    The city streets will be filled with glass..when the earth shakes..
    And coasts will be washed away..from the rising waters..and waves..
    The heat of the day in the summer..will cause..thermol over load..if the power goes out..
    And the power grid will overload..from solar activity and incressed..static atmopheric charges.
    The winter freeze..will kill many..without heat..
    There will be no food..no gas no way..to survive..
    But for…
    Who then..
    And this is the test to that of which..a group of christians..gather..not for seek of worship..but to become..the sons and daughters..of the children of light..and save..the needy the hungry the lost the forgotten the purpose is not that this world is a paridice..but that we put on our armour..and lift those fallen rocks..because this world is doing just as i said..
    And we are those christians..
    So i think its a good thing ..that we be prepaired..

    • Emmy Bua on September 21, 2019 at 4:17 pm

      Thank’s alot it is now our part, like Jesus said go to the world and teach my words, make them my dsyplz

  22. Gail on December 31, 2018 at 12:11 am

    I’ve been a Christian for many years. We have attended several churches trying to find one that teaches and educates us on how to reach unchurched people. To be supportive of each other and yet go into the world to meet new people. Unfortunately all we’ve found are churches that are exclusive and not inclusive. They are clickish and the members only live life with and for each other. They should be inviting outsiders, friends and neighbors to their church activities. Holding get togethers at their houses to invite unchurched people. Yet what we see are church members who have a very limited life/ friendships/ outside of their church.

    • Carlton Smith on January 19, 2019 at 7:05 pm

      To me there is no excuse for people not going to church! they have all week to get whatever needs to be done and Sunday they should be worshiping the Lord! Cars can be washed on Saturday and grocery shopping done!Yes, even sporting events can be recorded so you won’t miss them! Some problems can be due to the preachers not reaching the people are telling them what they need to hear! Do’t sugar coat it tell them why they need Jesus in their lives and why you need to accept him! People need to wake up and realize God is not pleased with the way the world is going! Do’t tell them all is well and expect a miracle! They need the old fire and brimstone sermons to reach those lost!

  23. Glynis on December 22, 2018 at 10:36 pm

    The “church” referring to the weekly gathering of God’s people is not meant for the unbelievers, it is meant for the fellowship of the saints to edify each other, the Body, and corporately worship our Lord. This is to strengthen us to GO and make disciples in all the earth. So this nonsense about music, etc, to draw in unbelievers to grow the church is not sound doctrine.
    It’s yourr job, it’s my job- to plant seed, to water seed. The Lord makes the increase.

    • Mamacat on January 13, 2019 at 2:58 pm

      amen to that!

    • KEN L EDWARDS on May 28, 2019 at 9:35 am

      Evangelism is done OUTSIDE the church bldg. We gather together on Sunday as a corporate body of believers; as a refuge from the storm of distraction and unbelief that rages just outside; to worship our Creator, and study His perfect Word.
      Don’t cater to the unbeliever on the inside, but rather outside, with hopes of them eventually coming inside.
      But this way of thinking doesn’t line up with the Rick Warren, “How to build a megachurch” paradigm.

    • Jan on June 26, 2019 at 5:21 am

      God’s Word is a deep treasure and I find it falls way down the list of importance in the church. When we have wise and spirit led teachers and preachers, the church will grow. So much error is taught due to tradition, and most don’t study or hear the greatest teachers, therefore church becomes stale in our ignorance. Programs, upward sports, gimmicks, coffee and donuts, casual dress, will never suffice for the God of the bible and the light of His Word to us!

    • A.L. on August 2, 2019 at 10:03 pm

      yeah!!! You get it. I’m still not going to what appears to be church, but either ends up being a a TV recording of someone from Singapore, or a rock concert where people who wear suits or who carry study bible are told from the pulpit they are not welcomed.

  24. David on December 5, 2018 at 7:37 am

    When the New Church Growth Movement started way back in 1980 or so, it staryed over the same issues. You g people (apparently) we’re leaving the church, and it was dying. At that time, Christianity was growing, albeit in small numbers. But it was declining some, as so the book writers seized the profitable moment and told the churches to change.

    Almost 40 years later, the New Church Growth Movement has failed. Miserably. And the reasons are debated. So we will have a new batch of writes and bloggers tell us to give it all away, and don’t be selfish. Or political. Or don’t love old music. And take off those clothes you were and dress down.

    None of which is Biblical. Unless you read out of context. Interestingly enough, this same crowd believes the truth…..that you are saved by Grace, through no works of your own. You can’t earn it, or do anything to get it. The Holy Spirit convicts….that is His deal.

    But apparently…..they have a song and a method that will not only attract, but save.

    And THAT….is why the church is declining. People see through the NEW church, and have left because it is not fulfilling. The UNBIBLICAL quest to somehow attract a lost person to Christ with music and methods….is exasperating at best.

    • David on December 5, 2018 at 7:39 am

      And yes, my typing skills on an iPad doesn’t match that of millennials.

      • Joseph on April 16, 2019 at 8:49 am

        Brilliant piece, God bless you in Jesus name

    • Mamacat on January 13, 2019 at 3:03 pm

      Amen David! The whole bologna about music, buildings, clothing. .. , those are all worldly methods, not God’s. The Holy Spirit draws the soul and when we start using gimmicks and compromise, we stifle Him and chase Him out the door and we give away our influence as Believers. We are to be in the world, not of it, so why on earth would we use all the worlds methods. You are so right, that is what has has caused the church to fail and die, not the lack of all of this ridiculous hooey. The church is dying because we’ve locked the truth, Jesus and the Holy Spirit out in the cold and decided we humans know how to do it better.

      • Emma on January 27, 2019 at 1:42 pm

        I researched this because , as a Mission Leader, I was in the street ministry. I would go out and minister to the unsaved. It was building the congregation. And they were learning.
        But I was blasted by a paid worker,that said we don’t need to go to the places I went,but we needed to get someone that can bring us some thing. I believe we suppose to be reaching soul.
        I also believe as a Fisher also, we have to catch a fish before we clean it. The Church has decreased in membership. Without a Mission. What advice can you give me?

        • Perry on September 4, 2020 at 4:59 am

          In our works..from the temple of the holy spirit..it is good to reflect the attributes of the gifts of the spirit..
          Neither a building or a church..can come close to the attributes of our hearts..
          Alot of street preachers..stand to judge..
          But i wash thier feet..feed them and give..my love..as the gift of giving..is love. And we can reflect the spirit of truth..Which is granting this truth..which is where he dwellith. Which is from within..
          I think thats really the most important thing jesus was teaching..
          Cuz if you know..where god resides..and at what level of heart..he understands.
          Well then..we just have to..love. And share love.
          Being the truth and the light..
          Then..you and the father are one..
          Just as jesus is..
          So too is the Moslem or of all faith..
          Jesus is just the one father sent..sends and acknowledges..
          Now i think..walking on water..is a miracle..beyond my ability..but i can heal..with fathers help..
          So saved or unsaved..
          How could you possibly know..?
          A true christian..
          How could you know.?
          only father knows..
          And we are all his children..
          Course. I dont give much strength to up to heaven..or down to hell..
          With you now..
          The helper..
          The truth..
          The spirit of truth..
          God resides..
          Within…all of us..
          Christians..i think..make good children..good friends and true lovers..of the truth.
          Jesus is the way.

  25. Ralph on September 7, 2018 at 3:04 pm

    Let’s try a little math, 168 hrs. in a week. If you attend church once weekly, that’s 0.59% of your time, once weekly plus a bible study, 1.19% of your time. It seems if we as the body of Christ were doing what we should be doing with the rest of our time that HE gives us to further HIS kingdom, then the slight amount of time spent in ‘the church’ with ‘the body of believers’ would be more relevant and fulfilling. If we’re really honest, how much are we really giving HIM, could we afford maybe a little more? We spend a huge amount of resources for the .59% and it should be more about the 99.41%. Worry less about the building and more about the souls that are on the path to hell.

  26. Cheryl on August 16, 2018 at 1:59 pm

    Carey your article is very good and let me add when True Worship is in a room the presence of God will come to the point that people will be healed, delivered. broken , changed but entertainment is what he have in what we call Worship today its just entertainment with Christian attached to it but i have been in times of Worship when God presence will so fill me that it breaks you to the point of you get out of your self and truly have a compassion for others unfortunately we don’t see that today. We won’t have a move of God until folks get out of the way and really God break them that purging of the flesh is the beginning . Keep up the good work in sharing these blogs maybe some will listen. God bless

  27. Dr. J. on June 23, 2018 at 7:38 pm

    Great articel but seriousl #2? We all know Jesus would be a libertarian…but seriously great article!

  28. Edward on June 11, 2018 at 10:36 am

    I find your blogs thought provoking and on task. Our mission should always be to reach the lost. I have been a believer for over 50 years and understand the concept of meaning ful change to adapt to changing trends and culture, and personally have done that. However, the church has to balance the tasks of reaching the lost while equipping the saints. You can’t have one without the other. That means you can ignore most preferences but not all of them and you must train and teach. This emphasis is so finished in the modern church. Secondly, the attempt to attract people into the church by bringing the “world” into the church is not new and has merit. However, it narrows the focus to those who like a certain type of music, preference. Dress codes, bordering on inappropriate have become the norm, preference. Dancing of all types is welcome, preference. Do we not want to attract people to the love and life changing power of Jesus? People are drawn to Jesus through the Holy Spirit and I think sometimes we have gone too far in our attempts to attract the lost. I would love to hear your thoughts.
    Thank you

    • Maxine Robb on October 5, 2018 at 7:47 am

      In part I totally believe what your saying but dancing is biblical. David danced before the Lord.

  29. Nora Colmenares on April 7, 2018 at 5:33 pm

    I may not agree with the one about “politics.” If you mean partisan politics, then yes. If you mean the church should not engage in advocating for changing policies, then I disagree. The church was a leader in fighting for civil rights, as it should be then, and today.

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  32. Tam on March 20, 2018 at 1:52 pm

    Thank you for the article. I also thought that the comments were all insightful. They all had good points. I suppose that one reader had it right when he stated that there is no magic bullet to make a church thrive. I suppose, too, that just reading the article and the comments thereafter, one can see that the Body of Christ is very diverse. It was nice to see that people handled comments with respect to the others, and did not attempt to annihilate another person’s thoughts. That is a nice start in the whole process I think.

    As for me, I think that there is no perfect answer as to potential growth of church ( or more importantly, the sharing of God’s Word, Jesus’ sacrifice for us, and the subsequent saving of believers). I am still looking for a church to hang my hat and call home.

  33. Jordyn on March 13, 2018 at 12:08 pm

    Church attendance is in decline because the current “church model” is irrelevant.

  34. Bob on February 6, 2018 at 3:18 pm

    What you are talking about is what the church does not need. They may be as my friend Tim Storey puts it ” is it a good idea or a God idea?” The motive may be pure but the way it is done is questionable. Where does the work of the Holy Spirit fit into this way the church is going or in some of the changes the church is being conducted. In my observation it is a compromise. How much time do pastors give in prayer to receive God’s direction. The end result will be that those you are attempting to reach will eventually find out your motives and will see how they have been deceived.
    We will be on target when we preach and teach God’s principles and let the Holy Spirit do His work.

    • Donald Petty on February 16, 2018 at 11:52 am

      Go in the highways and byways and compelled them to come.

      • Brandon on June 20, 2019 at 10:46 pm

        I just wrote a post about that (compelling them to come in). We have allowed the devil to use things live government and education as his personal tools to compel sinners to destruction and Christians have said that these tools are off limits for us and, furthermore, it’s unloving and uncompassionate not to let sinners use them to force their values on our nation.

        It’s time for us to create a compelling culture by every means possible, which includes government and education.

    • Christian on July 23, 2018 at 6:04 am

      I was going to post this very thing until I read your response. You’re spot on. The best thing about the first century church is that they had no model to follow… Just the Holy Spirit and the manifestations of God’s power. Unfortunately, The American church has sacrificed that on the alter of strategic methodologies.

      I’ve heard Andy a Stanley say often “We are a church for the unchurched. We want a church where unchurched people enjoy attending” While I totally understand why Andy Stanley makes this statement, there’s ZERO biblical or historical support for it. This has become the over-arching philosophy for the “contemporary” church and I believe it has hurt us tremendously.

  35. Mary on January 30, 2018 at 9:50 am

    Wow you are so wrong on so many levels. The Church is NOT for lost people. the Church is the body of Christ. He will not have any part of His body that has not accepted Him. The Church is to edify and lift up each other as Christians. Yes, we should have evangelistic outreaches which go out and try to convert sinners, but to change everything you do to try and attract sinners is so wrong.

    • John Duncan on January 30, 2018 at 1:52 pm

      The writer makes some good points, but he exhibits the same bias as those he criticizes. When you put forth an arguement that is driven by your own personal bias you are probably 50% wrong before you write the first word.
      As example I saw a little country church with a traditional service go full-blown contemporary and their growth exploded. I was a member of an urban church with a traditional worship service that averaged almost 2,500 on Sunday mornings. When our pastor left we hired a young pastor who blew up the service style going full-blown contemporary. When the dust settled they now average 1,000 on Sunday morning and were forced to let half their staff go.
      My point is there is no magic bullet. Every situation has it’s own dynamic and we have to ask God to show us His will for each church.

    • David on December 5, 2018 at 7:25 am


    • Deb Fokos on December 10, 2018 at 8:43 am

      I can agree with this as my husband and I currently attend an unchurched church 😂 and I wouldn’t want to scare off the seekers before they saw their football game, but they can’t understand why no one comes to the prayer room or is offended by someone praying for them to be healed. Meanwhile we may be asked to leave because of me and my zeal to bring the truth of the full gospel to the fledgling seekers. Their small groups are prolific with lots of fellowship. We are in two of them. A meal is planned each week for one of them and the food is heart attack style…while many even younger adults have so many health issuesThey have an awesome kids program but wondering about the adult programs of discipleship. The church reminds me of the unschooling movement. Afraid to really teach the Word and apply it. Yet there are many previously churched people who apply what they have learned privately who like this church. My husband can adapt to anything. The music is good, people are cool and hip for our fly over part of the country. It’s making me pray constantly. Helping me to do what’s right for me while I show up for the unchurched church. I can truly say that this Earth and even the church is not my home. But Jesus is. I spend more time with Him than ever. I am also seeing sides of people that I haven’t seen just being in more traditional spirit led churches. I’m in wonder. “The tension between heaven and 🌏 “ … a paraphrase of Bill Johnson.

  36. […] 7 Things Christians Should Give Up To Reach Unchurched People […]

  37. Mamadee on November 26, 2017 at 11:11 am

    Sounds great. The only problem is, the church is the Church. Unbelievers don’t wander into the church looking for a place to stay because they have no interest whatsoever in something that’s very foreign to them in the first place. However the Bible does say to go… Capital G capital O… Into all the world and that’s where the whole church has really missed the boat. Everybody wants to sit comfortably in their pew and make the church into some form of Coffee House rock concert hoping that this alone will appeal to unbelievers. The problem is that the unbelievers are not going to come into church because they’re not interested in churches or a culture of church in the first place. The Bible says we are to go, that means get out of the pew and go, every single one of us and bring people to the Lord and then as the scripture says they were added daily to the church. At that point they came into the church, they were assimilated into the body of Christ. But I have no idea why we have to be made to feel so guilty because we’re not looking just like the world. Go ahead, everybody have at it. I know it’s coming. Let me have it. Ha.

    • Tara-Lynn Barks on November 27, 2017 at 5:57 pm

      Full agreement with you here Mamadee 🙂 The God’s “church” was not designed to be filled with the unchurched. God’s plan and commission was to GO and BE the church, then lead the convicted and seekers to be part of the body of Christ to grow spiritually. When we mess with God’s design for the church by making it little different than the world, we will never see success. “The Bible says we are to go, that means get out of the pew and go, every single one of us and bring people to the Lord and then as the scripture says they were added daily to the church. At that point they came into the church, they were assimilated into the body of Christ. But I have no idea why we have to be made to feel so guilty because we’re not looking just like the world.” Good points!

    • Dave on December 10, 2017 at 3:25 pm

      wow I’m not the only one who thinks the job of the church is to make disciples so they can go and disciple others. So tired of these 7 ways or 9 things to do or not do so a pastor can be the hero.

      • Tracey on January 28, 2018 at 4:58 pm

        Jesus mainly walked and lived outside he did have transport sometimes but if you look at his life he witnessed about his father and himself being the word the truth and the life and that salvation is through him. When he went out he went abroad up mountains out at sea nothink stopped him.

    • Reginald Gabel on January 29, 2018 at 12:51 pm

      Has anybody thought it may be Satan that is keeping people from the Church…

  38. TrueBluePT on September 29, 2017 at 12:17 pm

    These are helpful observations. I serve a church that has been declining for more than three decades and now has very few young adults. When we have tried to make a few minor improvements to help the church become vital again: moving toward more blended worship, creating more of an outward focus, establishing some basic expectations for church leaders, focusing on the mission of the church, teaching about the sacred duty of hospitality, etc. there has been a huge amount of pushback and negativity. Maintaining their “tradition” and personal preferences are the idols in this church. The Pharisees are apparently the role model for many members. A number of members only think of the church as the building. There are some folks who understand the nature and mission of the church but the folks who always try to control everything and undermine pastors and faithful lay leadership are louder and keep running away people of integrity and character. I pray for God to transform hearts. That the only hope for this church to survive.

  39. Alan on August 16, 2017 at 11:51 am

    Christ created the church with an open invitation for all the world. We Christians fail to honor Him when we fail to do as He has asked of us. It’s time to change.

    • Gideon on August 20, 2017 at 6:45 pm

      I left the church because of their doctrine. Just like ideology it confuses people and cause devision and chaos. I dare any pastor,reverent or church leader to show me in the Bible that their doctrine is the same as God’s word. The Bible is not a toy or as simple as churches make it out to be. If the churches want to reach out and reach people they have to look in the mirror first. By the way i am South African.

  40. Bruce on August 14, 2017 at 8:47 am

    I have been reading insight on sites such as the “Huffington Post,” and similar websites where you don’t really look for “church” people. In those rare articles I find, those people — the ones we are allegedly trying to reach — are turned off by the “contemporary” worship. They don’t like the loud music, the fog machines, or the “showtime” atmosphere. Most of the lost, even if they are extroverts at parties or on the job, or just with friends, enter our worship service as introverts. Most of the people who love the worship style mentioned in #1 are contemporary church people.

    What are we really doing here? Someone is thinking, “What if there really is a God? How can I know more?” He sees a church near his neighborhood and decides to see what the message really is. He enters an environment of noise and fog. He is told to stand (most introverts don’t like to stand for long periods), to jump and shout, to dance and clap.

    He is so tired 30 minutes later when someone walks out to the platform to talk about the verses he has in that smart phone in his hand, while he slides through the pictures behind him.

    Of course, the premise of the first point assumes something not in fact anyway. I have looked for a place in the Bible that says music is how we evangelize, and am still looking. Music is supposed to belong to God, and be directed solely to Him. If churches want to be contemporary and keep themselves up-to-date on the latest styles, let them do it, but realize that it is to accommodate the current members and the saved prospects who will be visiting. The “outsiders” are looking for something different from their own popular culture. I hesitate to say it, but most lost people are looking for a couple of “thees” and “thous,” because they have already heard plenty of “dudes” outside those walls.

    • Dee on September 17, 2017 at 5:50 pm

      Exactly, I could not agree with you more. Personally, I believe the decline in attendance is unavoidable, it is the falling away told about during the end times. People flooded to churches and the tent meetings in the 80s because the church of the time was counter-culture, it was not trying to replicate culture. Pastors preached hard-lined and people just walked in off the streets, it was not us, it was the Holy Spirit who did it. This article is promoting the seeker sensitive humanism which plagues the church today. God help us.

  41. […] others, we would do well to consider our Canadian pastor friend Carey Nieuwhof‘s words in his piece […]

  42. Raymond M. Perkins, Jr., M.Div., Ph.D. on August 6, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    I served as pastor 22 years, medical center pastoral counselor 16 years, and 25 years more on volunteer faculty of college of medicine. During this time I also had private practice in individual and marriage and family therapy and consulted at three other hospitals. Consequently I’ve come to think as a hybrid; theologically, interpersonally, cross-denominationally, psychiatrically, and medically.

    I commend you to the highest. You have done an incredible outline of purpose, analysis, and diagnosis. From a broad sense of the picture of church today, you first sentence is correct. People everywhere seem to consider “their” church a “private club.” And people who believe something is being taken away from them will fight to the death to prevent that.

    So what is to be done after diagnosis? There must be outlined a treatment plan and actual treatment. Yet those who are convinced the church is for their personal benefit don’t have an accurate picture of their own sin nature and cling to the past. Their personal theology (we all have one) is interwoven with mental health issues, personal and family histories, varieties of social expectations of a church,and neurotic beliefs about God.

    We are not much different in the streams of expectancies for the local congregation from the religion parties and organizations that led to the Crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth about 30 AD. In my 87 years I have observed, wished, prayed, and worked for change in church life. It has not occurred where I’ve been in such a way that lasted more than five-ten years. I conclude it has to occur one person at a time, one family at a time, and one small group at a time. The forces in sick institutions kill those who challenge them.

    The best definition of Neurotic I have discovered is “Wanting today to be just like it was a year ago, only fresh, new, and different.” Abraham gathered his family and left the familiar. Joseph was forced out into a totally new way of being. Moses led a mob of Semites from captivity to freedom and they whined about having to leave the benefits of slavery looking toward freedom with God. People become deeply anxious when they cannot control everything about their future. Let the future is where we discover the joy and excitement of spiritual freedom

    I sincerely pray there shall come congregations willing to see themselves, say goodbye and grieve the loss of their past, and allow God to start totally anew with them.

  43. Kevin Thompson on July 6, 2017 at 3:04 pm

    I’ve served in “contemporary” churches for nearly twenty straight years. I last served in a church in 2015. I’m taking a break until an opportunity to join a GOOD church comes along.

    I’m not burned out on serving, I’m just tired of casting my pearls before swine. Who are the swine? The pastors who serve a dead community… As well as the dead community itself. Unfortunately, I’ve found that to be the norm and not the exception.

    Every church I served in, ranging from a couple hundred to nearly two thousand in weekly attendance, had moments of significant providential impact, followed by the arrival of both the local church community and a subsequent decline. When the church showed up, God and the lambs both left.

    I thank you for stating so clearly and eloquently what I’ve been saying for more than a decade. Seeing it stated by someone else doesn’t change the reality of the entrenched dysfunctional and ineffective church, but maybe your voice will help put the focus on what Jesus commissioned rather than apathetically continuing what many organizations have devolved to today.

    • Mark on August 6, 2017 at 5:50 pm

      Please forgive me for saying but it sounds like you are also part of the problem and the solution to this too. From what you said you fell out with “church” because it wasn’t doing what you wanted. You are now airing for a good “church.” Really? There are so many people who have fallen out with “church” who just walk away and criticise. Pearls and swine, dead pastors, dead communities? We are called to build up the church not tear it down. You are a unique individual with giftings given by the Holy Spirit to edify, equip and build up the body of Christ. You will never find the “good” church but you will find a good fit for you in a local community of believers. Get back in there and get stuck in. (If you haven’t done so already). Serve the church and you will be serving Christ. You are a contributor not a consumer.

      It stands to reason that the church is a functional/dysfunctional as the people who are in and those who chose to walk away. God wants each of us actively involved in church life. Each one of us brings an influence into the house that will hopefully shape it for God’s glory. I hope you find God’s place for you and get back into the fight of faith with your brothers and sisters

      • Kevin Thompson on August 8, 2017 at 11:29 pm

        Actually, a week after I posted that, a friend of mine and a long-term fellow team member contacted me about a need at a church he was recently recruited by. He is tasked to resurrect the worship program, and he and I have been used to do this before. God very clearly set this up as I had multiple connections/requests from different ministries in the area after QUITE a quiet spell. I chose to assist this team for the foreseeable future… The reason? Because one of the primary cancers in that church had been excised. A formerly 1,500 member church is now averaging about 375, but the legalistic and quasi-religious core that had stymied the Impact of the church has now moved on. God has room to work again, and I’ll help out as long has He has room to make an impact. There was also a leadership cancer that may again be a problem, at which time I’ll reevaluate my involvement.

        We are to learn the lessons of Jonah… Respond to His direction and opportunity, fulfill His purpose, and be willing to sit under His shade when our part is done. Not everyone can recognize and be in synch with that all the time, but we shouldn’t NOT act out of fear. Also, accountability is as essential for churches as it is for any organization. Though quite a bit more comprehensive and multifaceted, the Reformation was a resurgence of accountability for a church that had become quite ineffective and dysfunctional. The church I’ve now played two weekends at (7/15 – 7/16 and 8/5 – 8/6) had to undergo its own mini-Reformation, and I’ll have to go if it becomes apparent that the process is incomplete.

        If I’m a part of the problem, it’s because I’m a pragmatic steward. Pragmatic stewardship means that I invest my time and treasure where the Kingdom benefits most, and not where it won’t. God seems fully able to direct me to those places where there is an opportunity for real gain. Unfortunately, there haven’t been any places locally that have been benefitted from any measureable gain in recent years.

  44. Jinny on July 5, 2017 at 5:55 pm

    I rarely go to church anymore. I grew up in the church and drifted away in college. When I decided to come back to God, I did so by reading the Bible cover to cover – Apocrypha included. It changed my entire outlook. Now, when I try to get involved in a church I get discouraged. I know that there are individuals in a church, but at the churches I’ve visited, the church bodies as a whole are inauthentic. I understand that not everyone or every church is perfect, but there is an underlying arrogance in each one that it is. I have found two – out of dozens – of churches that are authentic. That know they’re on a journey, that reach out with sincerity and are driven to keep learning about God and how we connect with him during our human experience. So here are some things from an outsider: we don’t like being patronized with music that is supposed to elicit OUR emotions rather than exalt God, we want to learn something new – not hear the same thing over and over, we want honesty rather than “because faith”, and we want to continue the search for meaning. More often than not, what you hear from the pulpit is one of five sermons you’ve heard before – it’s only that the preacher’s own personal anecdotes have been inserted.

  45. Christoph on July 5, 2017 at 4:37 pm

    These 7 items are nice. But I do believe the issue goes much deeper. It is the reality of the LORDSHIP of Jesus Christ in our church life. It is what happens outside the 4 walls. I was at a church a few months ago, it was a Brethren Church. During the “breaking of bread” all ladies were head covered. They do not have a Pastor, but elders do the “preaching”. They built a nice tall gym next to the sanctuary. The brother who gave me a tour of their building told me why they built that gym. It was that they could invite Muslim men from the community to play Basketball. These Muslims hear also the Gospel inside a church that is not exactly contemporary. Do we do what we do to serve us better or that we can serve our community better?

  46. Dave Ball on June 7, 2017 at 2:36 pm

    This is a great discussion, and Carey’s points are certainly helpful (the ones on music and reaching the unchurched, etc) but I think we are still missing THE point…it is NOT about one style of music vs another…no matter whose style one prefers…it is NOT about how contemporary we are or we are not…it is not even about the manifestation of former expressions and experiences…it is about being a church where we in faith become people of The Presence of God, more sensitive to the WORD and the SPIRIT than to whether or not we are contemporary or sensitive to the preferences of the good people in either the pew or on the street. GOD is still God, and the kingdom is preeminently about HIM. This level of spiritual power is not humanly programmed, it comes only by the hand of God in response to a church which is broken of self, focused on Him. It touches and changes people beyond our best excellence and presumed skills. May God help us to get there.

    • Rob on July 26, 2017 at 10:21 am

      I couldn’t agree with you more Dave. What transforms hearts and lives is when people authentically encounter GOD in the Christian community. Life transformation will not occur because our churches are on the cutting edge of the latest cultural fads… it will happen because the Holy Spirit is alive within the church and when this happens… it’s not about the music or anything else drawing people… people are drawn by the Spirit of God because what they experience is real and authentic. My greatest fear for the church is that we are so focused on the externals that even when we do get people to come who don’t know Christ, that they won’t truly know Him because they are more focused on what the church can do for them than on what the church is really about… God and God alone.

      I once heard a quote that carried a lot of wisdom: “What you catch them with… is what you will keep them with.” If you catch them with entertainment, flashy services, and the next cutting edge technique… that is what you will have to keep them with. But if you catch them with the Gospel… you will keep them because of the Gospel. May this be true of our churches… that nothing ever outshines the Gospel.

  47. Rusty on June 5, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    God may not be a republican but I can assure you that Satan is a democrat.

    • Carol M. on July 5, 2017 at 4:48 pm

      Rusty, that is just so lame. Both parties are made up of people. Imperfect, some “lost”, some “found”, but all created in the image of God. And Satan hates them all. God sent His Son to die for all of them and Satan wants to keep all of them from receiving that Gift.
      I am sorry, but I am just so tired of this kind of talk. We have so many blessings in North America. Yet we fight among ourselves and just make Satan so happy.

    • Kevin C Smith on December 8, 2017 at 4:08 pm

      Judgmental much? It’s that attitude that’s driving people away. Jesus wasn’t a narrow minded bigot. That’s what drew people to him. Unless we’re willing to overcome our cultural biases that we sugarcoat with false Christianity, we will continue to drive people away.

  48. Daniel on May 19, 2017 at 1:55 am

    I attend a large church which has grown leaps and bounds by doing this entire list. While I see a lot of debate going on here, I do think many here are missing the point of what being contemporary can mean to a lost generation.

    I am a first generation Chinese Canadian millennial who like many my generation, didn’t grow up in a church. My first church experience as an young adult was very off putting and foreign to me. I didn’t like the organ music, I couldn’t read the sheet music in the hymn books, I didn’t feel comfortable in the older chapels with the stain glass windows and hard pews. I just saw church as an old white folks social club with no room for me. It was a generational and cultural gap for me and I just felt the same way about Jesus. Thankfully I gave my current modern contemporary church a shot and I’ve been there since. In fact, my church is made up mostly of born again young adult Christians (nearly even between men and women) from many different backgrounds and ethnicity who never grew up in a church. It’s difficult for me to imagine anyone from my church not having a relationship with Jesus simply because there was no effort to help bridge that gap. Church culture and traditions shouldn’t be an obstacle to Jesus and yet it is for a lot of people my generation. The point of being contemporary isn’t selling out the faith but to bridge a gap that allows for non believers to experience Christ.

    Millennials are taught to despise church in our media and current culture. It’s cool for my generation to do it. My generation has such a negative connotation of what church is without realizing who Jesus is and what the church is really about. When Jesus made fishing and farming references to fishers and farmers, he was being contemporary and relating to them where they were in life. Well today we are speaking to the MTV and social media generation and where they are in life. It doesn’t mean selling out our beliefs, it means meeting people where they are, much like Jesus did.

    • Teena on June 6, 2017 at 10:20 pm

      I am a 55 yr Caucasian with European roots generations ago. I was born here. Grew up here. Do people like myself have a place in your congregation?

      • Dorothy on July 6, 2017 at 12:43 am

        I am a 54 yo Caucasian woman who attends Carey’s church and believe me it is a range of ages. Many Christ followers working to spread His love and to welcome all. Have you listened to music from groups like Hillsong United? Give it a try!

    • Jan on June 7, 2017 at 1:41 pm

      Right on Daniel!

  49. Dan G on May 18, 2017 at 8:54 am

    Hi Carey this is very helpful. – Actually I wonder, whether you allow me to translate it into German (I’m Swiss) and give to the people of my church…?!

    • Carey Nieuwhof on May 18, 2017 at 9:04 am

      Would love to have you translate it!

  50. Austin Spain on April 27, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    Most of this article is very convicting and very good to hear. I think you will cause irritation in people by saying these things. One thing this article does though, is it misses the main reason why the “churches” are in decline in first world countries. It’s not because we are alienating people or because the music isn’t hip-hoppy enough. The reason the churches are failing is because they are not relying on the God in the Bible they claim to cleave to. How many of these things listed above could any other organization do without prayer and dedication to YHWH? All of these reasons for failing mentioned above are ways that we as broken human beings can save people from themselves. The God in the Bible is the one who saves. If we think he can’t save people because the music is bad, then how big is our God? God can save sinners without any contact from a Christian. Take Paul for example.

    I am by no means hating on this article because I do think there are things we can do to help others feel comfortable in the body of Christ, I just don’t want people to believe that we are the reason someone accepts the gift of Christ rather than YHWH saving us all. If you really want to lead in the church and become a light to the unchurched, place Christ back in the center of the church. Rely completely and wholly on Him for everything and go out with the mindset of bringing the name of YHWH glory rather than growing a church attendance and thus the leadership’s glory. Do things that would push out the nominal Christians and make people decide on who they align with because that’s what Jesus did. Jesus did not care about numbers, he cared about the truth.

    • John on May 31, 2017 at 6:52 pm

      My thoughts exactly. Good comment.

  51. Andrew Soerens on April 13, 2017 at 11:09 am

    Reading the comments you would think that this blog post was claiming to be the ultimate treatise on church growth and life. It’s just pointing out 7 things – not THE 7 things. Lighten up people!

    Great article. I do have a couple thoughts:

    Regarding music, I’m not sure that the very latest style is the most important aspect in regards to reaching people any more than thinking hymns are somehow the most spiritual form of worship. I think some points about authenticity and accessibility might have been a stronger point.

    Regarding time, I really wish you had expounded on this. Lots of dying churches have people giving enormous amounts of time. Some suggestions on HOW our time should be spent to reach the lost might be more helpful than just suggesting that the AMOUNT of time we’re giving is not sufficient. I’m guessing that time in small groups and time involved in our community are more effective than time in committees or time in extra services or church activities.

    I think the strongest points in the articles are:
    STYLE – Give up the pettiness!
    OUR LIVES – church isn’t about us. It’s about reaching the lost.

    Great article. Thanks Carey.

  52. PastorWayne on April 1, 2017 at 4:18 pm

    There are some good points made here. I do agree that “many Christians seem stumped as to why that is [that churches are in decline and people are not flocking to the church]. I appreciate your last points that we are called to die to self and give freely of our time, money, and resources – both individually and corporately – and that the church is not very good at following Christ in these ways.

    However, there is also much, I believe, which is fundamentally wrong with this article. It makes a number of assumptions, which are contra-biblical.

    First, and most fundamentally, the author makes assumptions about why the church is on the decline. I don’t believe it is on the decline for most of the reasons listed in this article.

    The real reason the true church of Jesus Christ is on the decline is because the “church” is not doing things as Christ designed, modelled, and commanded, and His Apostles implemented. The Church, for the most part, is not being the Church as commanded and described in the New Testament.

    As another person commented, Christ gave the church’s mission as “Preach the Gospel and the Kingdom of God, and make disciples, and in the making of disciples, teach them to observe (i.e. DO) what I have commanded, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

    In the implementation by the Apostles (because Christ and the Apostles laid the foundation for the church), they established the purpose of the church (or from the Greek word for “church” = “ecclesia” which means the meeting together of believers/disciples of Christ) as delineated in Ephesians 4:11ff. The purpose of the Church and its meeting together is to (1) teach solid, biblical doctrine; (2) help bring believers into maturity in Christ; and (3) to train disciples to go out into the marketplace and do ministry there. Contained within these are other things we see which contribute to and facilitate these main objectives from Christ’s and the Apostles teachings and examples from the NT Church: (1) Love God with all you are and have; (2) Love your neighbour as yourself – first, loving your brothers and sisters in Christ above the world and secondly, loving those in the world; and (3) Edify and minister to one another through that love and the giftings, which the Holy Spirit supplies; (4) Keep prayer as a main activity of the church and central to all the life of the church, both individually and corporately; and (5) do all to build and grow the relationship between the believer, the church, and our God (worship would be part of this). This is “doing church” God’s way.

    Virtually no churches I know of – either locally or globally are really focussing on these fundamental, Biblical foundations. Rather, they employ many of the focusses of this article, copying man’s/business/worldly, institutional methods of success. I believe Scripture makes it quite plain that God’s work must be done God’s way. Why do we feel we must employ the ways of the world to vainly attract the world in the hopes that they will make some kind of a decision for whatever false image of Jesus we create in an attempt to be appealing or acceptable to the world? We come up with gimmicks and activities, which the world already is using and employing to be appealing to people of the world.

    Additionally, most churches are preaching a false gospel: e.g. believe [intellectually] the facts about the Jesus I just told you about, say this prayer after me, and now you’re saved and have your ticket to heaven; or Jesus will make your life better [like a whipped cream and a cherry on top make an ice cream sundae better]; or ask Jesus into your heart and He will prosper you and give you the desires of your [still sinful] heart.

    Certainly, the facts of Christ’s death and resurrection need to be central to the Gospel. However, there are other Biblical factors, too, which must be preached as Christ and His Apostles preached them. Chief among these is that man is a wretched and completely depraved sinner (see Romans 3:10ff; et al.), is under the eternal wrath of God, and can do nothing to save himself. Only when one truly knows the “bad news” can the “Good News” be appreciated and presented in reality.

    A second essential component of preaching the Gospel is that, as Christ made plain, “one cannot enter the Kingdom of God unless one is born again of the water [the Scripture] and the {Holy] Spirit.” In other words, unless the living, effective Word of God and the Holy Spirit work within the heart and spirit of a person, convicting them of their sin, leading them to TRUE repentance [turning away from self, sin, and the world], and putting a TRUE faith within a person, there can be no salvation. There must be an inner change wrought by the Word and the Spirit to bring that person to become a new creation or born anew spiritually. It DOES NOT come by someone telling them because they followed a formula and prayed a prayer they are now born again. It is entirely possible (and I believe is most often the case) that one can intellectually believe certain facts and say a so-called “sinners prayer” a thousand times and yet never be born again as described in Scripture.

    Once one has truly been born again (and he or she will know without someone having to tell them such because it is the Spirit, Who gives such inner witness), then they should immediately be baptized both in water and with the Holy Spirit (as taught in Acts and elsewhere).

    Then the process of teaching and discipling should be implemented. This, as Christ stated, should be done by teaching them what Christ taught about how they should live and behave. This also includes modelling this lifestyle as the discipler or teacher. The concept of New Testament/Jewish “teaching” is not like our western practice of merely classroom teaching. Rather, it primarily was similar to what an apprenticeship in the trades would be in our western world. In this situation, an apprentice follows the master tradesman around 5 days a week. For plumbing in my Canadian province of Ontario that takes 5 years of apprenticeship. Included in this is three 4-month classroom times of theoretical teaching. So, there is both the theoretical, in-class teaching plus the 4 years of on-the-job training where the apprentice (or disciple) learns to do exactly as the master plumber (or mentor/discipler) does.

    In other words, as the 12 Apostles (plus many other disciples) followed Christ for three years and learned in practical example how to “preach the gospel, heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the leper, and cast out demons,” so the Church must also make disciples by one who has been so discipled.

    Scripture quite clearly describes the Kingdom of God and its culture, and the fact that it is diametrically opposed to cultures of this world. WHY, WHY, WHY do those in the Church feel it necessary to change God’s culture to more closely resemble the cultures of the world? This is clearly seen in this article in the encouragement to change the music to be modelled after the world’s music. WHY?

    In the late last century, one so-called Christian song writer (who incidentally vacillated between being part of a secular rock group and so-called Christian rock, wrote the line in one of his songs, “Why should the devil have all the good music?” First of all, the devil has nothing good and if he has something (which is not good) then why would any disciple of Christ want it? This and other contra-Biblical foundations is what much of contemporary “Christian” music is built upon.

    Many churches have thrown out the glorious songs of Zion, which have sustained, taught, encouraged, challenged and edified disciples of Christ for centuries. WHY? To have music which is more appealing to the world? To make “church” more attractive to the lost? Where do you find anywhere in Scripture where the church is to model itself after the world’s culture in an attempt to fulfill Christ’s great mission or commission? I challenge all readers to this.

    What we do find in Scripture is that God’s Kingdom has its own culture which is diametrically opposed to the cultures of this world – as counter as light is to darkness; as counter as righteousness is to sin; as counter as life is to death. In the example above, we find we are to sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs – birthed of the Holy Spirit, not birthed in the corrupt hearts of sinful men. BRING BACK THE SONGS OF ZION if we are to walk and live as disciples of the past followed Christ.

    As citizens in a foreign land we are called to be representatives of Christ and ambassadors for the Kingdom of God.

    Also, the author exhorts us to “do [whatever] is effective in reaching the people you’re trying to reach.” I think this presents several problems in that it assumes several things: (1) that we do whatever succeeds – according to whatever our definition of success may be. This does not necessarily take into account what God’s definition of success might be for the situation in which He has placed us; and (2) It does not define what it means “to reach.” Does that mean that we befriend people and hope they see Christ in us and will make inquiry? Does that mean that they are only “reached” when we have presented the gospel to them? Are they only reached when they become regenerated and are made disciples? Does it mean that we get them into “the church” by any gimmick or means possible? Does it mean we attract them with “stuff” they like, be it entertainment, family days, or the sponsoring of sports teams, or some such things?

    God’s definition of “success” to Isaiah was to be a prophet to a rebellious nation, even though they would reject the message and reap God’s judgement. God’s definition of success to Christ was to be obedient unto the cross – even though almost all forsook Him. God’s definition of success often looks like disaster or ineffectiveness from the human understanding.

    Going back to my third paragraph where I declared that the Church is not doing as Christ said, I’d like to give an example. As part of the Great Commission to the Church Christ commanded us to do and teach what HE taught and did. In Matthew 10:8, Jesus commanded His disciples to “Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you
    received, freely give.” How many disciples of Christ today, in the western church, actually do these things? Yet it is what Christ commanded us to do, is it not. In Acts 8, when Philip (the deacon of chapter 6, not the Apostle) went to Samaria, the preaching of the Gospel was accompanied by such miracles. Why is this not occurring much in today’s church? After all, this was commanded by Christ and modelled by the Apostles and other disciples in the NT church, was it not?
    I propose that our churches would be full and overflowing if we started to be obedient to the commands of Christ and His Great Commission. If the preaching of the Gospel was accompanied by healings, demonic deliverance, miracles, even the raising of the dead, Don’t you think there would be no greater attraction to those trapped in the kingdom of darkness, blinded by sin, whose consciences are seared?
    May God help us to die to self, take up our crosses daily, and follow Him as He commanded, both corporately and individually and follow wherever He leads and directs.

    • jo Phillips on April 9, 2017 at 9:23 am

      Pastor Wayne, I agree with much of what you said here.
      When I as at bible school we did a study on ‘lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and the boastful prideful life’. What became clear is how much the Christian mindset has become just like the world. Ie, the way we measure/conclude success, the way we advertise our churches, conferences, theological colleges. It’s lost it’s Christ centeredness and become man centered. There are many ways in which the church thinks just like the culture it lives in. But the bible tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Unfortunately for the majority, thinking like the world is just far too attractive to give up.

      • Justin Vest on July 9, 2017 at 7:54 pm

        Your thoughts mirror my own, though you have the theological learning necessary to communicate these truths that I lack. The only thing you left out that I would include is a breakdown of the following statement:

        “People have left the church”.

        There are two nouns in this statement: “people”, and “church”. Now I know this is a crazy notion, but what if, just WHAT IF, the blame lies in the people? I can only speak for myself, but when I left the church for a period of years in the late 90s and early 2000s, it’s because I didn’t want to go, and wanted to pursue pleasure, sleeping in, drinking heavily and often, and everything else the flesh desires after.

        I came back when I repented. The church had nothing to attract me back, nor drive me away in the first place. Both decisions were fully mine.

        As an aside, I discovered that there was a thing called “the music wars” while I was away, and noticed that the hymns I loved as a child had been mostly and later completely jettisoned, much to my dismay. I further learned that was supposedly done for the benefit of my age group, though my opinion wasn’t sought on the matter.

        I’ll add only that for some people, this music works. God didn’t give everyone an ear for good music and a discernment to know the difference between poetic lyrics and tripe, and for them, CCM I suppose is a blessing. I wouldn’t prescribe one way or the other for every church. The Amish are Godly people and they’re doing things right for them. I admire them, while also recognizing the way they live is not God’s calling for all of us. So it probably is with our music choices.

    • Andrew Soerens on April 13, 2017 at 11:00 am

      I gave up 1/3 of the way through this response. It’s longer than the post itself.

      • PastorWayne on April 13, 2017 at 12:16 pm

        That too bad. I think your response may say more about you than you say about the response.

    • Justin Vest on July 9, 2017 at 7:27 pm

      Pastor Wayne,

      Thanks for this. Do you have a blog? I don’t know who you are, but this is the very best thing I’ve ever read on this subject. The American Church will never be effective again until they realize the truth of what you say. It would mean a lot of career bureaucratic types losing their ministries, though, so be sure it will be ignored unless God moves them to humility.

    • Solanus Casey on May 29, 2018 at 11:15 pm

      In answer to Pastor Wayne’s question of when the church ever changed for modern culture….it absolutely had to adjust from the strict, traditional Jewish form to accommodate for the gentiles. Had it not been led to do so by The Holy Spirit, The Church would have only converted a handful of Jews and never spread like wildfire into what we are today. The Church is not dying out…It is simply moving, as it constantly has by the Breath of The Holy Spirit. Our children will not forever uphold ancient hymns, just as we no longer sing original Gregorian Chants too often in churches anymore even though those were the original songs. Balance is always key in Music Ministry…leading songs that foster encounters with Christ…traditional mixed with contemporary. Ultimately, the music is not about us anyways. Music is a form of prayer and worship of our Savior. All of us have preferred methods of prayer…therefore, a good music minister will touch on several methods in order to help foster the Church’s prayers as a pleasing offering to our Lord.

  53. antiutopia on March 1, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    Behind you 100%

  54. Darren Young on February 27, 2017 at 5:11 am

    John 14: 21 He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.

    Matthew 28: 18 – 20 And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. We see Jesus’s promise here. He has all the power.

    19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

    Here is a command. Go, Teach what Jesus did on the cross for all man’s sins and who he is.born of the virgin Mary, Problem-Sin/ Anon-dote; Jesus. Another command: Baptize them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit

    20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

    Here is another command: Teach them to do everything I have taught you. If you break it down, Jesus says all in verse 19 meaning everyone. Then again in verse 20 Them.

    He also gives us another promise: lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

    This is what Jesus said after he rose from the grave and then he acceded into the heavens. If you want to follow Jesus here is a great way you can do that by following exactly what he said to do. Go, teach, baptize in the name of the father the son and the holy spirit, and then teach them to observe all things I have commanded you.

    Pretty simple

  55. Carla Zwicker on February 26, 2017 at 8:43 pm

    Churches should not be paying retired folks to travel the globe under the auspice of missionary work. Its creepy

    • Gene Shoenake on July 5, 2017 at 10:24 am

      It’s a little suspect that people in churches spend spend a lot of money for ‘quick trips’ where they will do God’s work for a week or two and then come home. Austria, Hawaii, Australia, France, and the like. Vacations that are vigorously defended by those who make the journeys to ‘reach the lost’. Little of value is likely to occur during these ‘blitzes’, and the pictures shared via f.b. usually show ‘the sights’ rather than any fruit from doing ‘God’s work’.

  56. Carla Zwicker on February 26, 2017 at 8:41 pm

    Money: I attended church in a school auditorium the money went towards enriching our community instead of a steeple.

  57. Carla Zwicker on February 26, 2017 at 8:40 pm

    Racism has got to go. Listening to Church talk about who is right and who is wrong contradicts the foundation of the bible. Racism is what propelled Trump to his seat in Office.

  58. […] Carey Nieuwhof   |   7 Things Christians Should Give Up To Reach Unchurched People […]

  59. sisteract on February 17, 2017 at 12:17 pm

    I would like to hear of churches who did #4 and #5.

  60. Ryan Connor on February 15, 2017 at 6:25 pm

    Some good points… but I’m not convinced that a church in decline just needs a renovated building, super hip Top-40 like music and an avoidance of politics. Sure, we can turn our preferences into sacred cows. But, I’d say the unchurched aren’t looking for a social club that caters to their preferences either. The church needs to retain some sort of otherness. People are looking for God when they enter a church, right? If they find God there, I doubt the out of fashion carpet will matter too much. Sure, update the carpet. Just don’t fool yourself into thinking that it’s really about the carpet.

  61. Mark Pasinski on February 15, 2017 at 4:38 pm

    Carey, I always learn so much from you and contributors to your site. I pray for your success in the good fight of Gods work.

  62. diamondinruff on February 15, 2017 at 2:10 pm

    You say we need to give up politics and be more inclusive of people with other views. We are not to be OF the world but we are IN the world. We have to vote, to be a voice in our community – even if it’s considered political. For example, most democratic support abortion, most conservatives believe abortion is taking a human life. This issue is SO very important for our time, that its beyond political, it is a LIFE issue. We must talk about abortion IN the churches, we must be active in our community to support single mothers, to adopt unwanted babies, to be the voice for the voiceless. Scripture supports saving those being led to slaughter (Prov. 24 11-12) – if that is political, so be it. We must not be silent.

    • CramItClowns on February 15, 2017 at 2:25 pm

      Wow — and congratulations — I wouldn’t set foot in your church. Politics should have been issue #1.

    • Chris on February 27, 2017 at 10:30 pm

      Of course, I might also argue that the belief that life begins at conception is logically incompatible with the belief that Jesus is the way to heaven. If life begins at the moment of conception, then the consequence of that is that more people are in heaven than have ever been born, and that of the people in heaven, less than 1% got there because of the redemptive work of Christ on the cross.

      It’s possible for two people to have opposite opinions that they both believe are supported Biblically.

    • Ben on May 1, 2017 at 12:26 am

      You don’t think climate change and environmental vandalism isn’t a LIFE issue? Your post is exactly why aligning oneself with any political party can be divisive and will eventually lead to compromise. Better to keep your total allegiance to Christ and if required, call out issues no matter what the party.

  63. britain on February 14, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    I see the problem with Christianity as the same as all other religions. For some reason there is this idea of “good guys” (Jesus, God, Allah, and all those claiming to be believers) versus everyone else that doesn’t believe in everything they believe in. Jesus Christ, Allah..God Almighty, live and let live. Allow God to make you a better person rather than trying to change everyone else. How about concentrating a little more on life after birth rather than life after death.

    • DBW on June 1, 2017 at 12:54 pm

      Actually traditional Christianity (i.e. First Century) was not about life after death. It was about being Kingdom People here and now. The Sermon on the Mount really doesn’t discuss heaven (i.e. the place you go to when you die)–but how to live in this world: forgiveness, mercy, kindness, single-mindedness, justice (that word “righteousness” means “justice”).

      By the bye “justice” doesn’t live and let live. Justice seeks to set things right for the poor, abused, crushed–that means having to deal with systems of oppression and injustice–speaking truth to power. How could that ever translate into live and let live? Is it ok for corporate greed to destroy the poor? Or for men to abuse women?

      The very concept of concentrating more on life after birth mitigates an attitude that says live and let live.

  64. Jeff on February 13, 2017 at 6:50 pm

    Doing “church” is for believers. We aren’t called to invite pagens to watch us worship God (even tho guy they are of course welcome to observe us).
    We regularity assemble to worship God through Christ exalting music (contemporary or not), the proclaiming of the Word (through exegetical preaching), and to perform the “one-another’s” of the New Teatament. All of these things will equip us to actually go out into the harvest field on our own and proclaim the Gospel to the lost.
    Once we redefine what church is (as this article does) we are no longer following the Bible, but rather the latest seeker sensitive, attrationnal model, or self help styled “church”
    Our highest aim should be to honor God – not make our worship services appealing to the lost. The lost hate Jesus. So if our worship is Jesus focused – they should hate it too.
    We need to witness to others and then point believers to good, biblical churches.

    • Robbie Neiman on February 13, 2017 at 8:14 pm

      Great comments, Jeff! I agree wholeheartedly!

    • Darryl Buckle on February 14, 2017 at 9:38 am

      Respectfully, I’ve never met a lost person who hates Jesus. I’m sure they exist but I’ve never met one. I have met a few who hate Christians and there’s always a pretty compelling story behind it.

      • Jeff on February 14, 2017 at 10:02 am

        I’m not so much basing this statement on my personal experiences, but rather on the Bible.
        Romans 8:7 says the sin nature (the only nature a lost person has) is hostile against God.
        This hatred of God is demonstrated in the fact that no one even seeks God (Rom 3:10-18)
        So while most people would not say they hate God – their words and actions prove otherwise.
        Before God regenerated me and saved me – I too was a God hater. This is simply how the Bible describes the relationship between the unbeliever and God.

        • PastorWayne on March 31, 2017 at 4:03 pm

          Exactly. The Bible teaches it (and no one more pointedly than Jesus Christ Himself).
          Sadly, many of the “Jesus Christ of the Bible” haters I have met are in so-called Christian churches, although I have met ones in the world as well.

      • loudstone on February 14, 2017 at 4:02 pm

        Building off of what Jeff said, lost people often love pop culture ideas of Jesus, but they hate the actual Jesus of the Bible. They love a Jesus that says “Love all the people and don’t judge” and stops there, but hate the Jesus that tells them He is the only way, the Jesus that calls people out for their sin, and the Jesus of Matthew 7:21-23 who says that not even all who claim Him will make it into heaven.

      • Tim Satterfield on April 1, 2017 at 3:57 pm

        Did you forget that Christ himself was hated by the world before us?

    • diamondinruff on February 15, 2017 at 2:13 pm

      Churches need to ask themselves if they want a huge mega church with all the “stuff”, or do we want to go passionately after Jesus, obeying His command to love one another and show the world the fruit of the Holy spirit so that they are drawn to Him. Will we “seek Him first” or are we going after the trendy cool and hip chuch. God and His word never change, but the culture and society does. Stick to the truth and know that we are saved by Grace, not by the latest cool trend in our culture.

    • Gemmo Boon on April 6, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      Amen. Preach the Gospel and lay it out squarely for everyone. Call sin, sin (homosexuality, transgenders in the wrong bathrooms & adultery, adultery).
      Those who reject it can literally…go to Hades (and I’ll even help some of ’em pack).

  65. John Wallace on February 13, 2017 at 12:02 pm

    Good article. We all profess that we want to please God and not people. Our problem is that each of us seems to act on the assumption that Jesus likes what we like. The points of this article challenge us to get over our egocentrism.

  66. Janie French on February 12, 2017 at 5:55 pm

    I essentially agree with the gist of this however, the article assumes that all unchurched people are under 25. I applaud those groups that apply the same self last/ God first principles to reach groups that may be defined by being part of other generations as well as other cultures – all of whom are part of our communities and all of whom need to see the Church both BEING Good News and sharing Good News.

  67. John Chisham on February 12, 2017 at 9:11 am

    I believe the problem lies deeper, and it is much simpler. Lost people are dead in trespasses and sins, members of Satan’s kingdom, and they HATE the Light because they love their sin (Ephesians 2:1-3, John 3:18-20, 36). No amount of cool music, clothes, and speaking and acting like the world and imitating its system is going to entice those who hate God and are in rebellion against Him to come to church. It is not about politics, money, buildings, time, or anything else. If God has a man’s heart, NOTHING will stop that man or woman from following Christ and desiring to be with His people. Look at is this way: would a criminal go and find a cop and a judge because the jail was more attractive?

    • Jeannette Shields on February 13, 2017 at 1:33 am

      I say this with all due respect Mr. Chisham: I was once ‘dead in trespasses and sins, a member Satan’s kingdom, and hated the Light because I loved my sin.’…etc. , but now by the grace of God, I am alive to serve my Lord and a member of His family. I think the real problem is me, I need to give up my pride in thinking I am better than them because I am a Christian and they are not.

      • John Chisham on February 13, 2017 at 7:27 am

        Amen! That’s what the grace of God makes us realize- I know I am a wretch who is only benefiting from the goodness of God in salvation. I am not good, certainly no better than anyone else. I am a Christian not because I am good but because God is good. And because He has seen fit to give His grace to me, I feel motivated to share it with others. You do not do that by making the church ‘cool’ or making yourself think,look,and act like the culture, you do that through loving and serving others as you proclaim the Gospel.

  68. Mike on February 11, 2017 at 9:47 pm

    Good article, Carey. I’ve experienced my share of fights around these elements (especially music).

    One thing that kept me scratching my head was what you mean by “unchurched”? Do you mean people that have no relationship with Jesus Christ or do you mean people that don’t attend a structured gathering?

    If you mean the second I might have to politely disagree. For me when I hear the word “church” I don’t hear “ecclesia” or a group of people coming together to celebrate the presence of the risen Christ in their midst. I hear dead religion that is too scared to go up to God’s mountain and meet Him face-to-face.

    What would you say to people like me that equate being “unchurched” to being born again into a living relationship with the living Christ?

  69. Angela Coon on February 11, 2017 at 7:12 pm

    The article assumes that all our reaching the unchurched happens within the gathering space on Sunday morning. While I don’t totally disagree with the points I do disagree with the assumption. We are the church and we need to be changing the way we think about reaching the unchurched where they are instead of inviting them to church where the Pastor will do all the work for us. Jesus said, “Go and make disciples, teaching them.”

    I’ve had this gnawing feeling that we’re not doing church the way it was intended. The church is a parallel of the original synagogue which arose out of a need for a place of worship and teaching when the temple was torn down in the Old Testament. In the NT the church began in homes because of persecution. The eventual established church was a gathering of believers for worship, prayer, teaching and sharing the sacraments with a mission to go out and reach the unbeliever.

    The word church comes from the Greek word “Ecclesia” which means assembly. In the NT it referred to the Body of Christ in general and those meeting together for worship in a particular place. Church is people. The saved were being added daily to the church (Body of Christ) through the sharing of their lives with others in the marketplace and their homes. While some did bring unbelievers to the meeting, the main purpose of the meeting was for edification (maturing) of the believers and worship of God in preparation for going out to live life in a way that unbelievers would want what they had.

    I don’t know where the deception began but I believe it’s roots have been in the church for a long time and we’re reaping the results now in the 21st century. The church is being redesigned to be the place of attraction and assimilation of the unchurched. Everything we do or say in the building is filtered through this lens. We don’t want to offend so altars are taken out. Worship is shortened and sermons sanitized, and the place is redesigned to look more like a club than a place of worship. There’s nothing wrong with the space being warm and welcoming or modern as along as it’s used for its intended purpose.

    We need to be training our people to be disciple makers who engage and include people in their lives where they have the opportunity to lead them to Christ and help them learn to grow as disciples. Their lives and love should be attracting others to Christ. Then they invite them to join the assembly of believers in worship at church. Not that they can’t be invited before that decision but we don’t leave all the responsibility to the Sunday morning worship service.

    Even our use of “unchurched” is politically correct instead of using the “lost “or “unsaved.” This places the emphasis on getting them churched instead of inviting them to a relationship with God through the saving grace of Jesus. In reality, they would be “churched” while being surrounded with believers in relationship, whether they go to a building or not. (yes, I do believe going to church is important.)

    I think we under challenge our people and rob them of the joy of engaging the unchurched in a relationship that causes them to want to follow Jesus too. We rob them of the joy of leading someone to Christ and thereby fulfilling the great commission.

    While I agree with many of your points, especially #7, I think we get caught up in the outward trappings more than the spiritual dynamic of God’s power drawing people and moving in the hearts in such a way, while in that space, the Father is revealed, the Word made real and the unchurched want to come back. This has been the experience of people in our church and we have all ages, races and ethnicities.

    Maybe if we spent more time seeking God and being with people we’d see the mission of the church fulfilled without having to read lists of 7 this and 10 that.

    We are in a ripe time for the harvest because now more than ever people are isolating themselves and in desperate need of connection and accepting relationships – and, yes, a Savior. The church, as people, should be the very best at connecting people to people and people to God in heart to heart relationships; not buildings.

    8 Things to Give Up to Reach the Unchurched:

    1 Give up the False Idea that my only responsibility is to invite the unchurched to church.

    2 Give up my life to live as I want, how I want when I want – give yourself over to being a disciple of Christ who lives to make disciples.

    3 Give up time in front of TV, digital games, social media and time consuming hobbies to spend time being with Jesus so your have something to share with the unchurched. You cannot give what you have not received.

    4 Give up my comfort zone and move out of the four walls of the church building and my home to be with people. Leave time for hanging out at the Y after the workout. Go to community events and g to know new people. Hang out at Dunkin Donuts and buy someone a donut and share your space with them.

    5 Give up the status quo for creative ways to connect with people in your neighborhood and community- head up an interest group, community project, fun activities for youth and/or families. Volunteer.

    6 Give up your privacy and invite people you’re befriending into your home for fun/food and interaction.

    7 Give up your self focus for Other focus – intentionally be mindful of others, ready to listen, ready to seize opportunities to engage. Stay off of social media in public so you’re ready.

    8 Give up your fear of man for God’s boldness and share your story and the Gospel with your new friends and invite them to follow Jesus with you – yes, even to church. (It won’t feel like an exclusive club when they have you as friends. )

    • John Chisham on February 13, 2017 at 7:29 am


    • Rosemarie Radcliffe on February 23, 2017 at 4:52 pm

      Sometimes the Holy Spirit leads you down the rabbit hole of the internet just to find gems like this response. Thank you, Angela Coon

    • jo Phillips on April 9, 2017 at 9:35 am

      Angela what you wrote was just beautiful.

    • Krystie Joy Hague on April 12, 2017 at 1:50 pm

      This should have been the article and what was definitely missing when I read it. We need to be worshiping our hearts our together with believers each Sunday so we can be in fire to take that message to the world. We need to be ready with the gospel at any moment. We need to be broken for the lost. I love that you said about looking for opportunities to reach out. That is what is missing in the church.

  70. Franck Schilling on February 11, 2017 at 2:47 pm

    Thank you Carey for these good insites.

  71. corey sauer on February 11, 2017 at 12:43 pm

    Really? Seven things to give up?/

    Take it from the “unchurched”, you only need ONE…

    Give up the hubris in thinking that other people need any church at all, especially the fatally flawed Christian version.

    The only thing this so-called list should focus on is the prioritization on being kind, decent, loving, generous, compassionate, non-judgemental human beings.

    Living one’s life in such a manner, especially in one’s own family and local community, would bring about more peace, progress, social justice and equality than a million churches loaded with tens of millions of “Christians” attempting to reach the so-called “un-churched.” In fact you’d realize that church itself is obsolete.

    Reaching us is not only completely unnecessary, but in reality a detriment to society. Your lives, time, energy and resources are far better spent actually serving HUMANITY, and not a church that is attempting with a gaudy, prideful vanity to reach the “unchurched” or the “godless”.

    • Celia John on February 7, 2019 at 11:13 pm

      Mark 16:14-16 King James Version (KJV)
      14 Afterward he appeared unto the eleven as they sat at meat, and upbraided them with their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they believed not them which had seen him after he was risen.

      15 And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.

      16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

  72. Wild M Ranch on February 11, 2017 at 12:20 pm

    I think the very reasons you cite to fix the problem IS the problem. Churches, pastors and teachers need only one focus which they can find in Colossians 3:23. Quit trying to appease, please and appeal to people to fill quotas. Instead, focus work to please the Lord Jesus Christ. His promise is He will bless the work. His righteousness demands He honors it. Let Him figure out numbers. It is not about numbers anyway. A VERY small populus with positive volition can bless whole nations (see Genesis 18:27-33). This world needs Biblical truth taught from its church’s pulpits, not a “dumbed down” gospel to keep chairs filled and offering plates heavy. Please God, not man. He controls history and indeed it is HIS-story. Stay true to His Word. That’s all it takes. Watch Him do the work in ways our minds would have never imagined. Psalm 37:4

    • jo Phillips on April 9, 2017 at 9:45 am

      Amen. And so true it’s not about numbers. Football pitches have great numbers. A huge numerical church isn’t necessarily filled with disciples. As Kyle idleman puts it, ‘you can be a follower of Jesus, or merely just fan’

  73. […] Clergy Coaching Network […]

  74. Jason Bonnicksen on February 10, 2017 at 5:32 pm

    Nailed it!

  75. Mark on February 10, 2017 at 11:16 am

    When we say “un-Churched” what we often mean is, “not coming to MY church.”

  76. […] 7 Things Christians Should Give Up To Reach Unchurched People by Carey Nieuwhof […]

  77. n9wff . on February 9, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    This article uses the model in which the modern church wants to follow. Our foundation in Christ is weak, we are so consumed with entertainment that the unsaved see very little difference. There is a great cost to follow Jesus and we don’t showcase this to the world. American churches have little separation from the world; we are nowhere near His holiness.
    I recently left a church that held selfishness among their own group. As soon as I challenged the leaders (both pastors left within 2 months, they weren’t getting paid), they removed us from their media. They lost half their people w/i six months, have no compassion for the “lost sheep.”
    Here is the real issue; we are not presenting the true gospel and the old rugged cross in its cruelest form. What I mean is A. W. Tozer wrote “Old Cross vs. the New.” The old is about death, the new is entertaining the flesh and keeping the old man satisfied. Pulpits are filled with business minded people who are not Spirit led. We boast more about who we are in Christ instead of Christ in us. We have lost the message of the Cross. This bloody spectacle is the core of Christianity. Sadly, it is no longer preached.
    We have more people believing they’re out of hell’s way but not living for Him. We want the crown but not the Cross. We want to reap the benefits but not dig into the soil to plant. All We care about only what we want. A country club/hospital that heals no one. As Billy Sunday said,
    “The reason why sin flourishes is we treat it as a cream puff rather than a rattlesnake.”
    We no longer walk in power because we don’t seek it for His glory; we seek it for our glory.

  78. ServantHeart2012 on February 9, 2017 at 4:27 pm

    If we just set aside our egos many of these obstacles to reaching the unchurched will grow smaller or even disappear. Everyone from the pastor(s) to the newest nursery worker has one. Some are more evident than others. But if we would just “check it at the door” and be open-handed to try new ideas without expecting OUR ego to be stroked in the process, perhaps we’d become more attractive to those presently outside our walls.
    In most cases, the individual local church does not ‘belong’ to the pastor. Why then must the pastor’s name be prominently displayed on everything from the marquee sign out front to the tissues in the ‘bridal dressing room?’ Also, when the pastor’s moniker is preceded with multiple titles (Reverend, Doctor, Bishop, Elder, etc.) and followed by an alphabet soup of degrees there might be an ego problem, and it’s often a turn-off to new comers. Don’t get me wrong. I admire those who have accomplished advanced educational goals, but do they automatically improve the character, competency, or work product of the person? No. (I’m not a fan of outdated parochial titles, but that’s a personal thing.) Most newcomers don’t care “who’s the boss” and aren’t impressed with titles and degrees. They just want to feel welcome and comfortable.

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