CNLP 203: Sam Collier on Growing Up without Privilege, Living a Double Life, Boundaries for Difficult People and How to Build Influence

Sam Collier is a speaker and host at North Point Ministries and the Director of City Strategy for The reThink Group.

Recorded live from the Orange Conference, Sam talks about growing up without privilege, dealing with difficult people, the struggles of living a double life (and how to get out it), how he built his influential platform, his new book Find Your Voice and so much more.

Welcome to Episode 203 of the podcastListen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Guest Links

Sam on Facebook | InstagramTwitter |

Find Your Voice: Capturing the Power of Influence to Live a Great Story

A Greater Voice with Sam Collier

Links from this Episode

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3 Insights from This Episode

1. You cannot serve two masters 

When what you believe and how you live are two separate things, you are in the danger zone and living a double life. Serving two masters will eventually catch up to you and one will ultimately smother the other. So, you must decide which master you are going to serve.

Making the decision to change and live out your faith doesn’t usually come with a quick turnaround. Replace the sin with purpose by running after God with everything you have. Eventually your emotions will catch up to your obedience.

2. Difficult people require extra amounts of grace

Few things are more frustrating in life than dealing with difficult people. Pouring effort into helping someone and not seeing results is beyond frustrating. These people should come with a label that reads “Extra Grace Required”.

The problem isn’t necessarily the difficult person, the problem actually could be your expectations. Not the answer you want to hear, right? I get it. Trust me. But the truth is that often we expect things of people that they aren’t capable of fulfilling on their own. What we’re wanting them to do simply isn’t something they know to do instinctively and our investment isn’t going to have the return we want.

So, does that mean you have to accept the bad behavior? Well, yes, to an extent you do. You have to accept the reality that they will not be who YOU want them to be. But don’t allow yourself to be walked over. Instead, set your own boundaries and build a personal plan for yourself, so you can have a grace filled relationship with the person moving forward. God is in charge of them, not you. Show them who Christ is through your actions and let His love do the work.

3. Surrender, Content, and God are key principles for building influence

Responding to a calling isn’t always easy. There’s no simple, fool-proof method for success and things don’t usually fall perfectly into place right away. Here are 3 principles to consider when working towards creating a platform and building influence so you can share your message with a bigger audience than you ever dreamed possible.

  1. Surrender: You can’t be someone you’re not. Surrender to who you have been created to be rather than trying to become who you wish you were. Show up as yourself and let God take you where He’s planned.
  2. Content & Strategy: When you have a great idea and an audience in mind, start building your content. Great content along with a well-crafted strategy will prepare you for whatever is next.
  3. The God Factor: That phrase “It was a total God thing” is just that – A God Thing. Sometimes things happen along the journey that cannot be explained and opportunities open up that you never could have imagined on your own. That’s The God Factor, and although it’s something you can’t plan or control, it’s your job to show up in those moments and follow through with what He is offering you.

Quotes from This Episode

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Next Episode: Jon Tyson      

Jon Tyson went to New York City to plant a church and has had success in reaching thousands of New Yorkers. He talks about how the New York mindset is impacting young adults across America, what is effective in reaching young adults, and about what to do when the burden of leadership feels so heavy when Jesus promised it would be light.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 204.

CNLP 203: Sam Collier on Growing Up without Privilege, Living a Double Life, Boundaries for Difficult People and How to Build Influence


  1. Lucas Sticht on June 22, 2020 at 4:09 pm

    Hi, this is a very complicated topic, but interesting and so frequent in real life, unfortunately. The topic really has a lot of debate, problems, points of view and few options for solving the situation. I propose to consider in more detail the White Privilege Essays by going to my profile. In the modern world there are constant protests, despite the fact that they are often not peaceful and not pleasant to look at, read about all the problems associated with this and, of course, about analysis of situations, critical thoughts of authors and suggestions. I was interested to read. Although I myself cannot somehow strongly influence this, we must reasonably think and build a beautiful future!

  2. Don Holt on July 24, 2018 at 9:15 am

    Carey: One of the best podcasts for me that I’ve heard you host. Truly a blessing!

  3. […] Sam Collier On Growing Up Without Privilege, Living A Double Life, Boundaries For Difficult People A… on the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast. Free flowing and awesome on several levels. […]

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