judgmental Christians

Judged anyone lately?

Sadly, the answer for most of us (including me) is… yes.

From the guy who cut you off in traffic, to the off-beat person who’s not picking up the social cues you’re sending, to your weed-smoking neighbour… it’s so easy to judge.  And judgment just gets worse from there. It’s the basis of racism, sexism and almost every other ‘ism’ you can think of.

It’s also fundamentally incompatible with authentic Christian faith.

Jesus said Christians should be known for how deeply we love. Yet studies show that in the eyes of many non-Christians, we’re known for how deeply we judge, not for how deeply we love.

The problem in many cases is not that unchurched people don’t know any Christians. The problem is that they do. And they don’t like us—for good reason.

Christians will argue: well, who’s going to stand up for truth?


Yet in Jesus, grace and truth are perfectly fused.

Remove grace from the truth and you don’t actually have truth at all, but a cold, steely imitation. (This is the shadow side of conservatism.)

The opposite is also true, of course. Remove truth from grace and you don’t have grace, but a spineless imitation. (As you’ve already figured out, this is the shadow side of liberalism.)

Fusing grace and truth is an exceptionally difficult venture and is usually only successful when you spend significant amounts of time on your knees and when the source of your attempt is actually Christ himself. I am rarely good at it, flipping from one side to the other too quickly.

But when you see grace and truth fused, it takes your breath away. Why did people travel for days on foot in extreme conditions to meet Jesus? Grace fused to truth is what our hearts most deeply long for.

But in the evangelical church today (and I’m an evangelical), the hard edge of truth has crushed many. And one of the most frequent expressions of loveless truth is found in judgment.

Judgmentalism is incompatible with at least 5 wonderful things. Keep judging, and your church will miss all 5 of these Christian virtues that can advance your church’s mission.

1. Love

The presence of judgment almost always guarantees an absence of love.

Think about it through the lens of your marriage, a friendship or even someone you work with: it is virtually impossible to love someone and judge someone at the same time.

But wait, you ask: what if they’re making a mistake and I need to correct them?

First of all, look at your mistakes and the depth of your sin, and deal with your issues first. In the process, you’ll encounter a loving God who forgives you despite your rather egregious sin.

And having been loved, you can love others.

I try to remember this rule: If I’m judging someone, I’m not loving them. You can’t judge someone and love them at the same time.

2. Help

Ever notice that people who judge almost never help and people who help almost never judge?

That’s because judgment creates a line. The line is labeled “better than” or “smarter than” or “more righteous than” the person who needs help.

Help knows no such line. It just knows how to help.

When Jesus taught on judgment, not only did he tell us not to judge, and to remove the massive timber from our own eye before trying to find the speck of dust in someone else’s eye first, but he then showed us the purpose of removing the speck from someone else’s eye: it’s to help them.

The Christian purpose of stepping into someone else’s world is not to judge someone, but to help them.

If you’re not trying to help, don’t bother. You’ll probably only make it worse.

And if you are trying to help, you’ll likely notice something else has disappeared: any sense of judgment you once carried.

3. Humility

Judgment is never grounded in humility (As in oh my, I’m also a mess. Let’s figure this out together.)

Judgment is grounded in arrogance. That’s because a judgmental person almost always carries with them a sense of condescension (I never get into this kind of situation myself…you should be as good as I am) or a sense of pity (poor, stupid you).

Judgment always says I’m better than you, I know more than you and I’m also superior to you.

No wonder people run from it.

Very few people get judged into life change. Many people get loved into it.

Humility, by contrast, fosters empathy. It says “I’m like you. I get that. Maybe we can help each other.”

Many people would run to that.

4. Prayer

There’s also a connection between judgment and prayer.

Judging someone and praying for someone are pretty much mutually exclusive.

You can’t pray for someone you judge because you’re actually not for them. Sure, you can pray about them, but again, your prayer won’t be grounded in humility. It might be grounded in anger, or in arrogance, or superiority, but it won’t be grounded in love.

You never truly pray for someone you judge.

Conversely, if you want to stop judging someone, pray for them.

It’s impossible to judge someone and truly pray for them at the same time.

5. Evangelism

If you want to kill evangelism at your church, fill your church with judgmental Christians.

People run from people who judge them. They run to people who love them. Think about it; that’s what you do: you run from people who judge you.

When grace and truth are fused, people usually run toward it because the combination of truth and grace describes a reality they’re facing and brings actual hope that things can get better.

God never asked you to judge the world. He did ask you to love it.

Judgment is a terrible evangelism strategy.

A Giant Hypocrite?

But wait, you say, isn’t this entire article just one big piece of judgment? You are a complete hypocrite, you say.

First of all, you’re totally right. You could completely read this as a judgmental invective. And I definitely write it as someone who is part of the problem.

But when it comes to judgment, Paul makes it clear we are NOT to judge the world, but we are to practice discernment in the church.

There is also a distinction (at least in my mind) between judgment and discernment.

This is a very fine line, and I don’t stand on it well at all. This article could be a complete failure in what it sets out to accomplish.

One of the things I struggle within the church today is that we rush to judge outsiders and rarely look in the mirror. That’s the exact opposite of what Paul instructed us to do.

The reality is that people’s lives are plagued by problems. There is an epic battle raging in this life, and people get taken down every day over addictions, failed relationships, misguided beliefs and things that we think will give life, but, in the end, only destroy.

We need to help outsiders because we have been helped. We need to help each other on the inside and thereby better realize our mission.

True judgment is reserved for God. Discernment seeks to help.

Discernment says there is a problem, but lovingly, humbly, prayerfully, empathetically I’d love to help with that.

And guess what? The person on the receiving end of the help senses it. They know when they’re being judged. And they know when they’re being loved and help.

That’s what I hope to do. And that’s what I hope, in the end, this article does. Because I, too, am a judger who is seeking to become a loving helper.

And if this article still strikes you as harsh, remember that Jesus’ harshest words were reserved for arrogant, judgemental leaders inside the faith. At times, we’ve likely all been that insider. I have been anyway.  Conversely, Jesus was pretty much never harsh to people outside the faith.

We’d be so much better as a church if we did the same.

A Quick Invitation

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What About You?

What are you learning about judgment and discernment? Scroll down and leave a comment.

5 Ways Judgmental Christians Are Killing Your Church


  1. Ray on August 20, 2020 at 10:29 pm

    So if your not to be judgmental, why does it say that Paul says the unbeliever should not be married to a believer? That’s very judgmental. Can you explain?? Cause I’m about to lose someone I love over this judgment.

    • Chris on August 21, 2020 at 12:45 am

      Hello Ray,

      I will do my best to answer your question. First, let me make sure I am clearing up anything that might be a misunderstanding. Paul never suggests that a marriage already committed should be dissolved due to one being an unbeliever.

      Also, the passage in the Bible which says to not be joined to unbelievers is not addressing marriage specifically, but it certainly could be applied as one of many contexts. The purpose is not for judgment, but for the person to remain faithful to Christ.

      Part of the purpose is also because the reality of the conflicting natures of a believer and unbeliever results in strain on a marriage (much like any major difference in belief or philosophy. For instance, if one spouse wants to have children and the other does not. This puts undue strain on the relationship).

      Another point to clarify is that when the Bible speaks of judging others, it is speaking of condemning. No believer is to ever point a finger at someone and condemn them for their sin because of the sin which exists in each of us (this is especially applicable to those who do not know Christ. No Christian should expect someone who is not a Christian to uphold biblical standards. We can invite people to a relationship with Christ which will change them over time, but we cannot be surprised when they don’t comply without that relationship).

      However, believers are charged to hold each other accountable with gentleness and humility. No accusingly, but in loving correction. But even the one doing the correcting is to expect others to offer loving correction when he or she chooses to sin.

      We also are called to make wise discernments. Again, that is not for the purpose of pointing fingers. It is for the purpose of living a separated, Christ-honoring life. It also is not for the purpose of gaining God’s favor, rather it is a response for having already received God’s favor: it is an act of gratitude.

      So, speaking of marriage. As the verse below states: If the marriage already exists, it should not be dissolved, unless the unbelieving spouse chooses to leave due to the believers choice to live for Christ. However, if a couple is not married, it is better to not marry because the Christian life and the non-Christian life do not coexist well and will cause friction which could lead to divorce which is also contrary to God’s desire because He highly values the marriage relationship.

      I hope this helps. I have pasted the verses in question below in case you would like them for reference.

      1 Corinthians 7:10-13 – But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. 12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.

      2 Corinthians 6:14
      Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

    • Graeme Macfarlane on August 29, 2020 at 9:06 pm

      You bring refreshing insight Carey. In relation to making wise discernment’s I imagine that can only be done in the knowledge of my humanity. A humanity that has been fully owned. My discernment then is perhaps considered in the knowledge of all that it means for me to be human and my true divine identity as a child of God. Wise discernment it would seem is not made possible by separating myself from my humanity or the humanity of others. Rather the owning of my humanity provides a context that helps inform the decisions I make as my true divine self in God. What brings me to that place is not my separation from others but rather a recognising of myself in them. It is the embracing of both my humanity and true divine self that brings awareness that can then inform my discernment. In the place even those who persecute me are understood and not excluded or separated out – “ I am in the Father, you are in me, and I am in you” I may make wise discernment’s but that they are not achieved by living a separated life. Importantly it is not through my separation from Christ/God/love that I live my life. That connection always exists. It’s only my lack of awareness that may prevent me from understanding that connection. . So I exist in connection to all that is ( God). . To believe that is to live in pure empathy with my fellow man – to always know that there but for the grace of God go I – to know that to love another is to love myself and to deny another is to deny myself. It is only in the context of my humanity that I understand my true identity as a child of God. The gratitude I hold in that understanding empowers my life’s purpose. A purpose that through my owned humanity enables me to love my brother as myself. By choosing to live that life, love can only expand like ripples on a pool. I may be a drop in the ocean but I am also the entire ocean in a drop. I can never live in separation for I exist in connection to all that is. “ I and my Father are one whoever knows me, knows the Father.”

    • Stephen on September 13, 2020 at 10:53 pm

      Love others the way Jesus said to love. (Love is not Love as the signs imply. There are right and wrong ways to even love.) Do not be decieved. Read the words of Jesus for yourself. Do not let others tell you that you are not worthy. God’s son, Jesus, died on the cross for you and made you worthy. Follow Jesus as Lord and you will not have to listen to all tge Christian preachers and atheists, who want you to beat yourself up. Pray without ceasing, be happy and thrive.

    • Lou Key on January 9, 2021 at 3:10 am

      This article is fantastic; I have suffered from bad dreams that come randomly and of late particular ones have been a radical Muslim has come into my home or attacked me with a sharp utensil. I have had to attack and for self defence use one at them too on some of the dreams. I usually scream in my dream and my husband says ‘it’s ok’ and his back to sleep. I sort of feel I am under judgment that I keep getting these dreams. I too have been hurt by church and yet often look at the systems and see God wanting to break in and in f do ping so, I definitely am judging the leaders. I see under leaders creeping to keep their paid positions and pastors owning and using people. I see more than people think I see (someone prophesied that over me). Yet I haven’t wanted to be self righteous coz I do see my own sin. I see elders that are well off given the roles and I say ‘that’s coz they bring money into the church for salaries etc’. Am I being judged with bad dreams etc because in my heart I fear corruption and manipulation and control and speak negatively as a guard for my own children who are there because I see this all going in?? Would you pray that I spend more time in my knees praying for these things because I have left churches due to these things. What advise would you give? I got so wounded and upset at one church and maybe it was my fears and not feeling like I could come out of myself there; that I then considered leaving and I heard a pastor speak from the front. ‘You’re going to go down a very dark path??’ When I did leave coz I saw under leaders whispering taunts etc and it being a bully church, I started getting horrendous spiritual attacks. That was years ago and I still get these demonic dream attacks. During that time I heard a voice say to me ‘everyone will think you are ok but you are really going to hell!!!. I was trapped in fear for years and felt strongly I wasn’t saved. I asked myself was I ever saved as I hadn’t ever asked Jesus to deal with my sins as I just went to church etc. I have asked God these things and want to stand on this truth yet I get attacked again. Am I saved?? Was that voice right saying ‘you are going to hell?’ These dreams I get certainly are hellish?? Xx. I need to ask for forgiveness for judging. I sort of want to protect myself and my children from deception and witchcraft in the church too. Can you help??

    • Aaron Warner on January 13, 2021 at 2:17 pm

      This is all false. Jesus said “the righteous man judges ALL things.
      Take your plank out of your own eye SO THAT YOU CAN BETTER REMOVE THE SPECK OUT OF YOUR BROTHERS EYE.

  2. Barbara on December 18, 2019 at 3:21 am

    I want to add that I reme,ber reading some of my dads books about great christian heros saints and martyrs as a child and remember how many of them seemed to feel more need of Him the closer they got, more humbled in His light, and I think that is the way it wotks. I know there are a variety of personalities and we all function differently, but I think that is key. Eyes on Him, eyes on ourselves, love for others, it never results in arrogance or self righteousness. I confess my biggest stumbling block is othet christians and I have to remind myself Im becoming self righteous towards them in my anger and bitterness. My mind says wrll youre like Jesus see? Only angry at chirch people, but Im not Jesus haha. But some are best loved from a distance for me.

  3. Barbara on December 18, 2019 at 3:10 am

    I agree with others who love this article! Another unchurched, I claim PK PTSD. Church people truly are the meanest I have ever personally experienced. My brother said AA is better than chirch, which makes sense because its a group of broken leople, humbled by their mutual failure trying to help each other get up and stay up, with the help of and reliance on a higher power..exactly what the church is supposed to be!..but isnt. I prayed for years for my children to come to the Lord, 2 of them were so resistant they would become angry if I mentioned it, so I stayed quiet and prayed (which is often the key..be quiet and pray) miracles happened last couple of years and they have both come to him, very active in chirches, prayer life, study of theology. How sad is it that my biggest fear for them after such joy of their conversions, is that he chirch will hurt them. They now try to get ME to go to church and I resist. Happy for them but worry constantly they will be damaged by the culture american christianity often is. My dad used to say we are simply beggars showing other beggars where to find food. That humble sense of equality I dont see in most believers.

  4. Veronica on October 20, 2019 at 7:17 pm

    I found this post after looking up the effects of judging others. I wondered if being hurt from someone judging me (or more to the point being critical) was just me being over sensitive. But I see that it actually is meant to hurt. Point #3 is very poignant. Words do wound and can leave scars.

    • Matthew Manion on December 11, 2019 at 5:35 pm

      Yes words can hurt just like it hurt me when I went to church tonight for their last dinner for a while until the new year began.
      I had run into my old high school teacher we got to talking but then told me as i asked how i was she told me in front of a few fellow followers i was really insecure/stuck on myself. I’ll tell you, that hurt. Alot. My anxiety kicked in but after this article I found it wasn’t that bad. I’m Over it. Or am I?

    • xena on October 6, 2020 at 6:31 pm

      My dad for over 60 yrs, let judgmental comments from his mom, keep him distant from God. Further, he’d comment that some of the deacons mom went with to church, were liars at work, smoked like chimneys, and cursed (his criteria), so why should he associate with them? My mom prayed over him from the 70s until he passed 2017. 6 mos before a well respected older Christian who always spoke to my daddy, but didn’t once ask about his salvation, finally was granted an audience to witness. Dad was ready. 6 mos later he died. It was the last sane decision he made to let Christ back into his Life. My dad about ate 10-12 had gone to a revival and came home so excited. His mom told them how much of sinners they were and scolded him saying he couldn’t go back. He felt embarrassed, humiliated, and and ashamed. He never let his guard down and wouldn’t trust anyone. God still blessed him because he saw daddy’s heart. It’s that kind of patience and mercy, God offers, and He is correct we are to show that and more. That’s why turning the other cheek – I didn’t understand for a long time: yes I knew what it meant, but to have the conviction is much much deeper. Once I saw it in the Spirit, I was forever changed. TRUSTING GOD, even when someone wrongs us (or we perceive it) must also be taken to God. HE is literally our source…of truth, justice, our worth…the things we don’t realize we maybe asking from others. If we truly take our worth from God, it’s no problem turning the other cheek because GOD is our strength of character, our avenger, our Truth. We no longer seek revenge. God mets it out(in accordance with the other’s salvation journey). Then suddenly the emotions that snare us, fall off like chains unlocked. It’s amazing. I love this article because the judgement part is an even deeper aspect for me. Then we can live as Christ does the church…that’s what the World needs. Love and integrity.

  5. Kelly L Richardson on August 10, 2019 at 4:38 am

    This is exactly what strayed me away from my faith. Judgmental Church. When you dont show up every single sunday, they let you know. Its more of a social occasion than food for the soul. Also their members are fLling like flies and they try to talk me into coming back.
    Selfish. Thank goodness I have found a different church finally! One I fit in.

    I dont think you are being judgy AT ALL. I think this is great! Thank you for the good read. I know I am not alone.

  6. Chris on July 15, 2019 at 3:54 pm

    Thank you for your article. It was perfect. My heart breaks at some of the comments above: those who have been hurt by the church and those who disregard them. There is balance in this ministry: The Bible doesn’t ask us to soft-pedal the gospel or morality, but it also asks us to approach people with love, humility and gentleness while watching ourselves so we don’t fall.

    Many of the hurt comments above were not asking Christians to accept sinfulness, they were asking to be heard and respected. The only way we can ever disciple anyone properly is to actually listen to where they are coming from. Listening to them is not the same as agreeing with them. It simply shows that we respect them as people enough to hear what they have to say and then gently guide them through the scriptural truth.

    We must remember where we were brought from:
    “For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another. 4 But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, 5 He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, 6 whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior…” (Titus 3:3-6)

    We’re all sinners who need grace. Our deeds didn’t get us salvation nor keep us saved. We must stop shouting people down and instead usher them to Jesus and let Him, His Holy Spirit and His Word do the convicting of hearts. All arrogance and anger will get is rejection of our Savior. We will stand accountable for this.

    Thank you for your insight.

  7. Lisa on July 15, 2019 at 6:50 am

    This was powerful for me and got me in tears because of its truth and convicted my heart on when I too have judged…. God bless you ministry..

  8. Rich Brashears on July 13, 2019 at 8:48 am

    This is one of the best articles I have read in a very long time! Thank you! I realize that I can be judgmental at times when I don’t mean to be. We are all works in progress. Thanks again!

    • Mark Holman on July 13, 2019 at 2:53 pm

      You are not alone, I switched churches and the best part is GOD CLOSED that door that no man can open, and slid it away, I mentioned it to one person, and he never came back where I work at.

      As one Pastor said He doesn’t believe in purple sky either, also someone my wife and I know we would get together from my old Church, I’ve mentioned it to another that word, and it’s like they fade away.

      I have 2 gossipers and they serve on a board IMHO should close their doors.

      Just pray and ask GOD to close that door against that church, forgive as well to keep line of communication flowing. After all the worst case is a Pastor who has narcissist personality disorder/pathological liar. Too much there.

  9. Rodney Noble Jr on July 10, 2019 at 1:47 pm

    This is probably wrong but I’ll say it anyway, judgmental Christians are ignorant, arrogant, selfish and totally oblivious to the detrimental affects of their actions. I don’t deal with these kinds of Christians on any level because they’ve scarred me enough. If you’re part of this kind of church run for your life because they will damage you, I know that sounds extreme but I know what I’m talking about.

  10. Lolo on June 28, 2019 at 12:05 pm

    I have believed all my life. I read my Bible almost every day, and I am seriously tired of judgemental Christians. I have a family member who is one.

    She seems to have a penchant for picking out my children to bestow her wealth of Christian advice, selfless wisdom, and her great abundance of self-righteousness.

    It’s like listening to someone whose words don’t match her tone, or her authoratative attitude. It’s being told in a soft voice that she knows best. That she was led by God to tell my adult children they are sinners and will rue the day that they misstepped.

    Like I don’t know! Like I don’t understand that I am a sinner, and my children are as well! I don’t wear rose colored glasses, nor do I walk blindly into the street.

    I love my children, who are my responsibility. They are my gift from God and I do my best. I pray on my knees most nights for them, and pray most days, and pray most afternoons. I have been a failure in so many ways that I am left humbled and saddened.

    One child is gay, and one tried suicide. I understand hardship, and doubt. I understand questioning myself and my faith, but I don’t need someone who has never dealt with this, telling my child they are destroying a persons life. I don’t need her looking down her nose at me or my children with her superior air judging me, judging my children. Telling us in so many words that we are failures, that we are undesireable people. That she is the angel God sent to save us. She says this, all while she is not looking in her own backyard, or her own household. All while she has really not communicated or visited for a good long while.

    My sister now ruined any chance of my child ever listening to her. What good does that do? How effective has my sister been? Did it change anything? If she had shown my children love and not condemnation, she may have gotten through, but instead, she threw in this, “I am So much better then you” attitude that all help was lost.

    • Mark Holman on July 13, 2019 at 3:06 pm

      Can you ask her to leave and she is NO LONGER WELCOMED there?

      Sometimes detachment from TOXIC PPL is for the best, as I posted the prayer to have a complete church no longer WELCOMED, also ask that person to find a Good Christian Counseling or a Psychiatrist. That will work in a way they can choose getting professional help.

      As to other issues, find a ministry that deals with an issue you’re facing, even out of town is better, I’ve dealt with small town gossipers, weather they change is up to them most advice from a former Pastor is to love them.

      Some Churches can be good, some not.

    • Paul on October 22, 2019 at 6:11 am

      What a great post. I’ll pray for your sister and family. I’m sure they are awesome and Jesus is here alongside all of them. He is praying the same prayer that they all may have life and have it to the full. May your sister discover a burning passion for Christ and burn with love and care for all those she meets.

      • Evangeline on August 27, 2020 at 2:07 pm

        Thank you so much. I was never judgmental. But at some point I started a program that says that truth is hard that Grace has made Christians misbehave and sin conciously. So I started trying to leave with truth and before I know what’s happening I have become so judgmental to my friends and family. That they don’t like confiding in me. But whenever I speak with them with love. They open up to me. It’s so confusing. Though trying to practise truth made me to bee too concious of not sinning. But I’ve lost my Joy. Recently I went back to how I used to communicate with the Holy Spirit. I want to really understand how I can work with Grace and Truth. Because honestly the Truth seems so hard alone. But I know same Jesus brought both Grace and Truth. So what should I do.

    • Jerry M. Irick on October 24, 2020 at 3:46 pm

      People who has this kind of attitude is not a child of God it’s more like narcissism and insecurity. Most people know when they being loved and it isn’t what you say it’s how you say it. Those who are unhappy with themselves tend to rain on other people’s parade. The Bible say how can you love God who you can’t see but don’t love brother and sister who you can see(1 John 4:20). Instead of being merciful she’s being judgmental.

  11. EmmyS on June 9, 2019 at 8:53 pm

    I’m currently experiencing a judgemental Christian sister I serve with. I don’t always make it to church and she always let’s me know about how it’s so important to come, that Pastor says we need the fellowship, that I really need to make it a point to come each Sunday.
    Yes, in an ideal world I would come every Sunday. But I can’t. I’m not even going to get into the reasons here because I feel that judgemental people would only see them as excuses. I’m not the perfect Christian. No one is. Only Christ Jesus.
    I’m getting to the point where I don’t want to serve with her anymore. I enjoy what I do there but she’s making it hard to want to be there. I have not confronted her about how I feel yet. I’m not a confrontational person and it’s hard for me to express my feelings sometimes. I already battle anxiety and depression. And with that I have these thoughts of simply disappearing instead of facing and dealing with this issue. I just know I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I understand I have the power to not let this affect me but I’m currently weak and learning.
    The article is so right about wanting to run away from judgment. It’s so true. I just wish it wasn’t from a fellow Christian sister.

    • Mark Holman on July 13, 2019 at 3:30 pm

      Bad PPL HUNH? Unfortunately I went and worked at a Disco Bar being I was sick of the personality types that were more harm than good, only the real truth was that one person was FIRED from his job of $75,000.00 YR at a company that got sick of his attitude, fired as a poor deacon with his attitude.

      The crazy thing is I was looking someplace and GOD CALLED ME INTO MINISTRY. backed by several ministers said the same thing. I’ve turned down so many deals were not the right door each one was a CLOSED DOOR! I had my wife agree to that also, and I’ve selected some one into my team experience widow and friends with my wife. Yes I’ve had my experience with finger pointing, trouble is they have a beam in their own eye.

      Remember 1 Corinthians 13, read it what does that speaks to you, for GOD what? So loved the world. I’ve been there without GOD only he didn’t leave me, just gave me an Assignment so between study, etc I have something that I’m called to do.


      READ DEUTERONOMY CHAPTER 28. 1 to 14 speaks blessings staying obedience to GOD and 15 to 68(something like that) tells you the horrible mess when you walk away from GOD

      Pastor Mark

  12. Garrison on June 4, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    I thank God Almighty that after 55 years of church going, I am now one of the “unchurched”, and plan to be for the rest of my life.

    • Gene on July 13, 2019 at 8:05 am

      I’m sorry you’ve been hurt that badly!

    • Kevin A Kleinhenz on July 13, 2019 at 1:37 pm

      Yes let’s celebrate not being a part of a local church.

    • Chris on July 15, 2019 at 2:55 pm

      Garrison and Kevin,
      I too am saddened that the church has hurt you this badly. I pray we will all do better at displaying the love of Christ and being humble enough to remember that everyone of us are broken by sin. I wish there was a way to rewind and undo past damage. I know there have been days I have said and done judgmental things to people and I still regret it. I fear there may be days I do it again, but my goal and my aim is not to do that though.

      I pray that you will see past the broken people that hurt you to the Christ who is perfect and redeemed you.

  13. Carlos on May 16, 2019 at 3:51 pm

    The new Mega-churches, store front, shopping strip “churches” mixed with Prosperity doctrine, with God on Command to their Beck and Call, who don’t accept the “Will of God” have made Christianity Toxic for most. The largest growing sector in Religious Polls are the “None” choice. They choose to belong to none, Satan’s biggest weapon is to turn all the good and holy into something poisonous and ugly.
    Black painted interiors of “altars” with podiums, neon lights, laser shows, musical entertainment rules the hall and Giant TV screens have flooded American Christianity, which is so far from the Solemn beautiful churches. People want their Pastor to be Tony Robbins when in reality its just a christian themes motivational seminar, just look at Joel Osteen and other TV superstar pastors. Others are talking about doom and gloom end of the world predictions, Illuminati conspiracy theories and how the founding Church is evil, trying to sell you a book on how to beat the end times. People are looking for magical supernatural proof of God in Healings, financial growth and luxurious lifestyles instead of being Holy and saintly in their walk of life.
    The Church has gone from the Holy solemn places of prayer and receiving the Eucharist to “pay your seed to blessings” ministries.
    Husband and wife preachers run the new churches with their adult kids as successors to the throne.

    God is great and he gives us the tools in the church for His Will not ours, to be humble not pompous, not afraid but fearless. The 2,000 year old churches haven’t changes, just people want a church that can be like their human passions instead of changing themselves to God’s purpose.
    What do you think?

    • Gene on July 13, 2019 at 8:07 am

      Boom! Nailed it! People want steps to a Happy Life instead of steps to a Holy Life in Christ!

    • Mark Holman on July 13, 2019 at 3:55 pm

      Can you please explain why my Daughter is alive today and I have 3 grandchildren where the Doctor gave up, and also why I still have my toe that Dr saw wanted to do a partial amputation?

      As a baby she developed Meningitis, bacterial and later virtual, (BTW the vaccine wasn’t there in 1985) also we get a nice review of this whole thing in eternity as I’LL Quote this was your life, and some other thoughts, so why are the Jews being blessed as well?

      Or is every Born Again Christian supposed to drive a donkey and cart, dress like a Bag Person, throw out your TV, RADIO, CD, DVD, MP3 player. Also being on the internet a big sin?

      I have a Associate Degree in IT, I’ve read alot of misinformation going around, some of the nonsense that was spreading misinformation like a manure spreader, undocumented claims, 2 were thrown out by the Federal Communications Commission under Report And Order, they got sick of that and posted on their website how the process is done, and their decision. The book sold as ravenous book to any person gullible to buy it.

      I’ve arrived at alot of ding of misinformation sold to some self claimed person who is NOT EVEN CREDENTIALED you should be on your guard on such nonsense.

      Unless you’re an Idiot.

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  17. Deb Fokos on February 1, 2019 at 2:26 am

    Thank you for your wonderful article outlining judgement vs help and love. My husband and I have moved across several states into a new culture, and that also means a new church. He is comfortable anywhere the Word is preached, whereas, I am a very touchy-feeling-have to feel ok about so many things before I join a church and its people. I’m not a conventional person, but often think outloud and this gets me in trouble with being judged and makes me want to leave before I’ve started. Your article helped right my potentially sinking ship and gave me a few pointers about loving and helping as a focus. Thank you, again!

  18. Aaron on December 14, 2018 at 12:04 am

    But to say there is no truth in liberalism is a lie and to say there is nothing but truth in conservatism is also a lie. Both are wrong. Some truths from both sides: banning guns will only help the wicked, being gay is not a choice, there are only two genders, planned parenthood does more good than bad, vaccines are important, science is not evil, evolution has solid evidence, boarders protect us, Islam is evil, black lives matter, all lives matter, it’s okay to be gay, and so much more. To say trurh is only on one side is dangerous and wrong.

    • Howard Glass on December 15, 2018 at 9:19 am

      While what you say about truth in the two camps is correct some of the time. Your closing statement is entirely false. I have heard the old saw, “It takes two to tango,” used in such a way that an abuser’s behavior is mitigated or diminished. It amounts to moral abuse. The Nazis were entirely wrong. Slavery is entirely wrong. I think you get my point.

  19. Bozes on November 18, 2018 at 7:38 am

    The Purpose of the church meeting together isn’t evangelism, it’s to worship Christ and to mature in Christ, while enjoying fellowship with other members of the elect. We are to go out into the world to evangelize, but meeting together is to prepare us for this work. I’m assuming you’re part of the church growth movement and a proud pastor of a seeker friendly church.

    • Gene on July 13, 2019 at 8:11 am

      Good points on the Purpose of the Church.

  20. Howard Glass on August 19, 2018 at 4:32 am

    As we gain experience as believers we should realize that the Christian life can and should be lived without a dependency on the behavior of others. Any group of believers might contain some who are shallow. In my experience they all do. While working in harmony with others is a biblical admonition, we must rely on His goodness, not the goodness of others. If our support for ministry depends on the character of fellow Christians the devil has already won. I guarantee disappointment sooner or later. That there are church members who do not reflect Christ well is for some an excuse to retire to a comfortable spot where their opportunities and concomitant responsibility to serve are limited.

  21. Angela De Tar on August 19, 2018 at 4:00 am

    Hi, I like this humble, truthful article. We humans all are sinners. We we’re born into it. We ALL judge others in one way or another. I get that. I too find it hard to connect in my church. I have joined the groups and do serve in my church. I have been bullied out of serving in different areas of my church. I have been looked down on, told my hair is dry and my skin is ugly, ignored obviously! Now, it is almost ridiculous. I stuck it out but I am still judged by some of the meanest people in church and they are leaders in my church. I am almost to the point I want to ask them why? When you are truly a christian and love Jesus, He lives inside you. He changes us from the inside out. I guess the truth is just because these people are in church, it doesn’t mean they have Jesus. Jesus loves people. I don’t know why some of these people stay in church, maybe they would be worse off if they didn’t! I know we are to forgive others and love them as God loves us. It does hurt deeply when you are hurt in church, more so because we believe people in church are saints! ( not all!) Anyway, I can’t sleep! Love to you all!

    • Russell Ray Lewis on September 11, 2018 at 12:32 pm

      The church is God,not a building or a stone Jesus is the cornerstone of Life!

    • Manning on December 31, 2018 at 12:29 am

      Ya, but remember this; not all in the church are really Christian some are just like spectator, some are immature and the worst is even satan go to church looking for opportunity to find faults and ready to destroy the institution of God’s people. That is why we need to be aware of what’s happening inside and outside the church. Satan is like a hungry beast!!

      • Jennifer Roth on February 7, 2019 at 12:09 am

        I find that Fundamentalist Christians are not only judgemental but they are arrogant and down right mean, it just doesn’t make any sense. Sometimes I wonder if many of them have mental problems because they seem obsessed with pointing out the so called sin in others but they themselves are often selfish, arrogant, dishonest etc. They don’t have any tolerance and are not willing to admit that they don’t know everything about God, it’s their way or the highway. Honestly they seem almost happy to say that all the unbelievers are going to burn in Hellfire. If they really were filled with the Great Love of God and they really believed that people were going to Hell then they should be doing whatever they can to Love them into the truth but instead they’re pushing them away with their meanness. It’s sad but the way they are is going to bring the church as we know it to an end but maybe that’s a good thing in the end. I believe God loves everyone and the church doesn’t have all the answers so they should be humble and open. Jesus made it clear that love is the most important thing and sadly I see very little of that coming from most Christians.

        • Howard Glass on February 7, 2019 at 11:03 am

          You must live in an entirely different world than me. I have met thousands of Christians. I know dozens of fundamentalists pretty well. I don’t know even one who fits the image you report. You describe a parody of Christians.

          • Chuck on May 23, 2019 at 8:23 pm

            I have also known thousands of Christians, and while not all of them fit that archetype, they are common enough that this “parody” as you describe it, does exist to such a degree that enough people have encountered such Christians that it has become a well-known archetype. That’s nice that you haven’t experienced this among the people that you know, but to say that everyone else is lying or wrong simply because you haven’t experienced it is blind. Or maybe the plank in your eye keeps you from seeing that it does indeed describe those around you or even maybe you yourself.

          • Gary on June 3, 2019 at 12:45 pm

            DO we find Christians judgmental because we do not like the discernment from God’s Word, or because we live in a “me” society, where you can’t tell me what is right or wrong. sometimes being judgmental is loving someone. After all God will judge Christians and non-Christians alike. And I think we agree that God is love.

          • Howard Glass on June 3, 2019 at 3:32 pm

            The trash can of history is loaded with false archetypes. Nearly every persecution or pogrom that ever took place was the result of them. Anytime we begin to relish the animosity we have toward another group or individual we must fall to our knees in prayer, difficult as it may be.

        • John Odermott on May 7, 2019 at 7:55 pm

          Jennifer Roth, I have the same view of fundamentalist Christians as you. Not all, certainly, but way too many fundamentalists are quick to judge others when they should be focused on what is in their own hearts and on their own journey of growing closer to Jesus. The notion suggested by the author, that the presence of judgment drives out the presence of love, is a very good one in my opinion. Jesus above all commanded us to LOVE. We are to love God, and love one another. Isn’t that the greatest commandment?

  22. CC on August 16, 2018 at 2:43 pm

    Christians seem to be the most judgemental of each other. They always seem to be hurting each other and rejecting each other.
    And unbelievers notice this. If Christians can’t be nice to each other, then those on the outside are certainly not going to trust Christians to be nice to them.

  23. Don Martin on April 27, 2018 at 1:56 pm

    Excellent article. Judging others is fraught with peril. With an overfocus on “being right” without love, you get stuff like the Thirty Years war. Learn from history.

  24. Jamie on April 19, 2018 at 1:16 am

    Thank you for highlighting this. I’m a Christian and so desperately need Jesus in my life, however, other Christians make me question myself constantly and it’s all through their judgements on either me as a person or silly opinions I may raise (but in a respectful way). I’d never turn from God but I really want to feel like I belong somewhere.

  25. Paul on March 19, 2018 at 5:42 am

    This all sounds very nice and dandy, but is actually the opposite of what God’s Word instructs us to do.
    Calling the command (!) for Christians to judge, a ‘discernment’ is twisting scripture. At best you’re telling a half-truth here.

    See for instance 1 Co 5:

    1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that *even pagans do not tolerate*: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. 2 *And you are proud!* *Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship* the man who has been doing this?

    *I have already passed judgment* in the name of our Lord Jesus on the one who has been doing this

    So when you are assembled and I am with you in spirit, and *the power of our Lord Jesus is present*, 5 *hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh*, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord.

    6 *Your boasting* is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? 7 *Get rid of the old yeast*

    9I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 *not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters*. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11 But now I am writing to you that *you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.*

    What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? *Are you not to judge those inside*? 13 *God will judge those outside*. *“Expel the wicked person from among you.”*

    There you have it; Christians MUST judge those inside the church, but leave judgment of people outside the church to God.

    Calling christians who try to do this (WHICH IS VERY UNPOPULAR!) ‘judgmental’ is disingenuous.

    • Kristen on January 11, 2019 at 4:26 pm

      Judging by handing the sexually immoral etc over to satan is done without cruelty. The author is talking about unwarranted judgement toward repentant christians.

  26. David on February 24, 2018 at 11:59 pm

    Love this article… why I’m a homeschooling Christian… when the pastor of most all churches is there for a paycheck and not the Lord.. my grandmother raised me, she was mamma.. we were at every meeting.. and even as a kid I looked forward to going.. our lives, the communities lives revolved around the church.. when our pastor went home to the Lord.. things changed.. the young money hungry pastors came… back then most pastors or at least where I’m from.. farmed or held a regular job ,still found time to visit people in the hospital and all the other duties and took just enough out of church funds to pay for gas that.. now this same little country church, small country church that has around 30 people on Sundays, pay a pastor 85k plus travel expenses. Which they add up to almost 20k and keeps him and his family in a house too…

    • Chris on July 15, 2019 at 3:29 pm

      Hi David. I am sorry you have had bad experiences with pastors. I did want to say however that I am a pastor. I have been a worship pastor for most of my career, but now I am at a church as a “lead pastor”. I can tell you that neither I nor a majority of the pastors I have known and serve under sacrificed rather than gained from serving the church. I admit, there have been a couple, but in the vast minority. Granted many of us do make our living as pastors, however that is scriptural.

      “Do you not know that those who perform sacred services eat the food of the temple, and those who attend regularly to the altar have their share from the altar? 14 So also the Lord directed those who proclaim the gospel to get their living from the gospel.” (1 Corinthians 9:13-14).

      I will tell you that pastoring is every bit a full-time (and then some) calling. I have tremendous respect for men who do work a regular job and pastor. I have interviewed with a church that would have made that mandatory for me and my family to live, however, they chose someone else whom I know and respect to lead them. They have since been able to pay him a full-time salary, but not because he asked for it.

      You are correct that money is the wrong motivator to serve as pastor, but there are also very few churches that can afford to give a tremendous salary to a pastor. Most pay under what the average church member makes, but many pay at least the average income.

      Without the intent of boasting, I will tell you that when I began speaking to my current church, they were offering less than what I was making as a worship pastor at my previous church (that church was larger in size). However, I had not asked the amount of pay when they told me, nor was I concerned about it. I simply asked God to show me if He wanted me here and asked HIM to provide whatever way He saw fit. They called me back in a week and told me they decided to pay me more and when they told me I gave God praise because they offered nearly what I was making at my previous church which would cover all of our living expenses.

      Funny thing is that my wife’s employer told her she could continue with them in our new city and then two weeks before we moved, they told her they changed their mind and terminated her without warning. But we just prayed and God provided her with an even better paying job. Little did we know that I would need a surgery for my heart shortly after that would result in thousands of dollars of expenses.

      My point is simply to say, please don’t consider all pastors to be money-chasers based on the failures of some. I understand that those people are out there, but they really are the exception and not the rule. We all fail in different ways. That is the whole reason we need grace. I hope your experiences turn out to be better. I do think Carey nails this plainly on the head regarding being judgmental. I have that problem a lot in my own life and am striving every day to do better because I too want people to know Jesus and instead of knowing Christians to be jerks.

      Thanks, David, for considering my thoughts. Thanks Carey for reminding us to be humble.

  27. Val on February 17, 2018 at 11:35 am

    I am a believer. I do not go to church. This article explains why perfectly. Thank you.

    • Chris on July 15, 2019 at 3:33 pm

      I’m sorry Val, that you have had bad experiences with the failures of the church. I pray that you encounter better examples as you meet more Christians. But if you don’t, I hope you will be able to see that Jesus didn’t fail you, just those who claim to be His people. I too am a recovering judgmental person. I’m really trying to remember how broken I am before jumping at others when they act broken too (or when we simply disagree).

  28. Jango on January 15, 2018 at 10:20 pm

    The lowest common denominator of everyone I have a problem with is that they are Christians. Everything from adultery to judgement. I have sought out the Church for answers and found every one of them turning their back on me.

    • Chris on July 15, 2019 at 3:39 pm


      I’m sorry this has been your experience. We’re all a bunch of broken people and unfortunately we Christians sometimes forget that Jesus is the only one that put our broken selves back together and we had nothing to do with it. Only once we get that truth will we begin to be helpful like Carey mentioned. That’s what we are supposed to do. I’m sorry that has not happened for you. Will you please consider continuing to look for a church that WILL help. There are some out there, but also remember that you are dealing with broken people in the church, so if you don’t get help and support to grow in Christ, then keep looking.

      I have served in very messed up churches, kind of messed up churches and now serve in a pretty good church, but they are all full of broken people who need the grace of Jesus (especially me and I’m supposed to be “leading” them). I pray this helps.

  29. Howard Glass on January 6, 2018 at 7:37 am

    The enemy has been very successful in keeping believers from speaking out against behavior that is obviously destructive out of fear of being judgmental. We’ve been worrying about being too judgmental for as long as I have been a believer, and all that time the church has been slowly losing its moral and cultural clout. The fact is that sooner or later the results of destructive behavior (sin) manifest themselves in a ruined life. I guess it’s okay to let someone make a wreck of their life so that my self-image as a loving Christian remains intact. If God knows my heart is full of love and prayer for the lost, is my own self-image more important? Jesus didn’t think so. He went to the cross for speaking the truth to those who did not wish to hear it.

    Just one caveat here: If you are one who has never involved yourself directly with trying to help someone who truly needs it, keep your responses to yourself. The church is full of people whose opinions are not based on actual experience but rather on what they have read or been told. My experience tells me that the lost person will hear you once you have shown in some tangible way that you love them. You can “earn” the right to give life advice. Relationship precedes influence.

  30. Leah on December 13, 2017 at 3:00 pm

    This is exactly why I left religion as a whole. It seemed like every other Sunday the pastor would talk about some group or another in a very judging way. I’m also Asexual but apparently I have to marry a man and bear children to be a proper Christian, which is just bologna. I’m very open minded and try to be kind to everyone, not that it always happens as I of course have weaknesses and sins just as everyone else does. I tried many churches but I only found one that I liked. Unfortunately I’ve moved so I can’t go there anymore. I’ve been in more churches with screaming judgmental pastors than I can count. I also can’t stand how much hate there is for certain groups in church. Like gay people. I went to a church once who wouldn’t even allow them in the building. And if they found out a member was gay, They would force them to leave the church. It frustrates me. We’re here on this earth to LOVE one another. Even if we don’t see eye to eye with each others views and choices. If Jesus was on this earth today, he’d walk with everyone on this earth. No matter what their gender, sexual orientation, race, or disability.

    • Bozes on November 18, 2018 at 7:32 am

      You obviously are following a false Christ, which you can read about in Matthew. But from your comment I’d assume you’ve never read the word, or if you have you have no discernment. Christ didn’t make his fathers commands about sexual immorality null and void, He came to offer us a path to redemption.

      • Chuck on May 23, 2019 at 8:28 pm

        Christianity and faith is declining so rapidly because of people like you. And good riddance. We don’t need the filth of “Christianity” in our world anymore.

    • Gary on June 3, 2019 at 12:53 pm

      Please read John 6. Jesus did walk with everyone, but when they found out the cost of following Him, they high tailed it out of Dodge. Which is what you are trying to do

    • Teresa Hall on June 24, 2019 at 10:19 am

      I heard a pastor judge another pastor for what he done. This pastor looked down on him because he sinned. Why are some Christians think there sins are no more? Why do they believe that they are sinless? The Bible tells us that if we love God first we should also love our neighbor. But in our today in believing we as Christians are not showing the love of God who we say we love, but hating our sisters and brothers who we see daily. God help us all and forgive us of our trespassing against one another. Let us continue to pray for our pastors and stop judging. Matthew 7:1-7.

  31. Brady Mayo on October 22, 2017 at 10:57 pm

    I thought this article was spot on! We are called to help not judge. Scripture could not be any clearer. When we share the good news with non-believers it should be as one beggar telling another beggar where to find food. Paul goes as far as saying that we should see other as better than ourselves. It was self righteousness that Jesus spoke against the most. We Christians spend too much time taking a stand on a particular sin that we think we have conquered. I have done this in the past. I am at peace when I am not judging anyone. And what if another believer commits a sin? What if we see our brother fall? Sometimes I hear, “If you don’t do this or that then you need to question your salvation”. I hear this garbage all the time from other Christians. No, the answer is clearly seen in Galatians 6:1-4: “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3 If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. 4 Each one should test their own actions…”

    • Newbie but not baby on October 21, 2018 at 5:19 am

      Thank you for this. I struggle so much in fellowship feeling judged by others as a new Christian- so many assumptions about my life. It feels sometimes as if they will tear my walk with the Lord apart given half a chance. Then I am distressed because the temptation comes to judge their judgement in anger! One huge plank gets taken from my eye, but then another emerges. I believe He knew very well all of this, that long prayer for us to be united. He didn’t pray for rain in Manchester.

  32. Christine A Johnson on April 17, 2017 at 1:35 am

    This was refreshing to read. Thank you for writing it. I have an autistic son (7 years old now). He’s been in church from infancy, like his brother before him, and his sister from about 3 (now 16). We suffered through many years of judgment about our son. Last year, I had enough. Leaving the church has been so difficult, but there is no physical way I could have stayed. I was always in the nursery, or helping with something, but rarely in service. And, of course, always trying to keep my son from offending anyone or doing the wrong thing and embarrasing his extended family. My heart has been completely shattered by judgment. I don’t know how to recover from it spiritually. Life otherwise has improved for us since we left, but Easter Sunday was hard. I WANT to be in church. I just don’t want to be around snippy comments or judging glares. I made myself do it for too long. This conversation needs to happen more. The Autism rate is climbing, and families like us need a place to worship, too.

  33. […] 5 Ways Judgmental Christians Are Killing Your Church by Carey Nieuwhof […]

  34. Vicky kajengo, Zimbabwe on January 16, 2017 at 5:22 am

    Thank you Pastor Carey. We fail here many times, and when we judge we lose an opportunity to minister as Christ would have us do. As a minister of the gospel myself, I’m not yet a Pastor, I have been found wanting many times and whenever I judge, thank God for His grace.. He corrects me immediately and am able to see a better way. The word says judge not for with the same measure it will be used against you. When we learn not to judge, we grow in our understanding of what it means to really love. God is opening opportunities for me to work with the mentally challenged vagabonds in a way that shows them a deeper love whereas before I would only go as far as sharing the gospel with them and not want to further associate with them. When we judge we really hinder God’s work in those 5 areas you mention and more. I had an issue with another minister just yesterday and have been battling with how to correct it. This morning God was showing me a better way – affirm the good she did, offer to pray for her in her struggles before pointing out areas of improvement, and in pointing out the weak areas be open to mention similar areas where I also need to work on. Your article has helped to encourage me.

    • Newbie but not baby on October 21, 2018 at 5:35 am

      Vagabonds… hhhmmmm. Do you say that to their faces? I’m not sure I would say this to your face btw… I hope I am loving you.

  35. John Martin on January 15, 2017 at 9:12 am

    Paul tells Christians in Corinth to judge a man living in sin with his dad’s wife (surely not his own mom). He prescribes a judgment of removal from fellowship so he can see his sin. “Judgment shall begin at the house of the Lord.” We are to treat everyone kindly, but honestly. In the West, where all is seen as OK unless it interferes with someone else’s license, the church runs the risk of being seen as judgmental due in part to a society that enables sin. No such enablement went on in the Palestine of Jesus’ day. Also, the biblical consensus of yesterday in the West is gone. How will it ever be brought back without truth? I have been around very judgmental Christians as a pastor. The problem is that they lived in the flesh and were simple minded, lacking empathy. As a Weselyan-Arminian they assumed we were better than the Calvinist because when we tell people “they’re going to hell for sinning, we meant it,” unlike the Calvinist who say we sin every day. All churches need to think deeply about the seriousness of sin. Jesus says “blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled.” We shouldn’t expect the world to long for righteousness if we aren’t. Today’s church seems to hunger and thirst after the things of the flesh. NO WONDER WE’VE LOST THE CULTURE WAR SINCE THE 60’S. Ya’ll are welcome to judge me. “Come now, let us reason together.”

  36. Diane Hagni on January 14, 2017 at 11:34 am

    This is such a difficult line to walk, and I appreciate the insights you provided. Perhaps the more we can see ourselves and every other person as created by God in His image to reflect some aspect of Him — no matter how badly we have messed that up — it will help us keep a proper perspective. Then we can all help each other get back to that original purpose in God’s heart and mind for us,

  37. Hawkeye on January 11, 2017 at 9:27 am

    We are taught to pray earnestly for spiritual gifts, one of which is discernment. I like the emphasis on that principle in this article. Discernment will show us how to be welcoming and full of grace to those with whom we may disagree, and to do so without compromising biblical principles and our own beliefs.

    There are so many “groups” in our society. Christians are the only ones who are actually fully equipped to take on the task of bridging the gap to authentically engage others in a sinful world. Yet, as this article has pointed out we regularly fail to follow through. A challenge and an opportunity to be saltand light in this world.

  38. Canbuhay on January 9, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    “And if this article still strikes you as harsh, remember that Jesus’ harshest words were reserved for arrogant, judgemental leaders inside the faith.”

    So are you saying Pastor Carey that the pharisees were Christians or followers of the true God? Isn’t that a judgment you’re making about their faith?

    • Brady Mayo on October 22, 2017 at 11:00 pm

      That is not what he was saying at all. You missed the point completely.

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