By Carey

Carey Nieuwhof is lead pastor of Connexus Church. His latest book, Lasting Impact: 7 Powerful Conversations That Can Help Your Church Grow, releases in the summer of 2015. Carey speaks to audiences around the world about change, leadership, and parenting and hosts the top rated Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast.

Carey and Toni Nieuwhof

20 Honest Insights on Making It To 25 Years in Marriage

This month, my wife Toni and I celebrated 25 years of marriage.

I love her more than I ever dreamed of.

And it’s also been a totally different experience than either of us thought it would be.

I love this picture of us leaving our wedding reception, because in many ways it show us stepping out into the world when we honestly had NO IDEA what life would bring us. We just had hopes and dreams.

Carey and Toni Nieuwhof

I have no data on this, but I think leaders perhaps struggle in their marriages more than others do.

Anecdotally, at least, I hear from leader after leader who says it’s been tougher at home than they thought it would be. And Toni and I have had our share of struggles for sure.

If you’re looking for a post on marriage that outlines how couples should do 5 things that will make their marriage perfect, you need to read someone else’s blog.

The truth is, marriage is work. Hard work. But it’s wonderfully hard work.

Both of us have felt more pain than we ever knew was possible, and more deep joy than we ever realized existed.

I love her more than I have ever loved anyone or anything (except Christ, of course).

Our love has grown richer and better over time, but we’ve also had a few seasons where we wondered whether love had vaporized. There were seasons where the only reason it wasn’t over is because Jesus said it wasn’t over.

So we stayed. And our emotions eventually caught up with our obedience.

Through it all, Christ has kept us together and brought us a more wonderfully fulfilling relationship than either of us knew was possible.

On the other side of deep pain is deep joy. You’ve just got to make it there.

So what’s the key?

Well, there’s no one key, but here are 20 honest insights about making it to 25 years in marriage.

Some are observations. Some are directives. Either way, I hope they help WHEREVER you are in your marriage.

1. Love is a decision, not an emotion

My dad always told me that love is an act of the will. He was right.

Culture says that love is an emotion. It’s something you feel, not something you do.

Culture couldn’t be more wrong.

True love is a decision…a decision to place someone else’s well being above yours. To stick through the tough times. To love when you don’t feel love.

God isn’t thrilled with you all the time, yet he loves you. It’s a decision, not an emotion.

2. Your emotions eventually catch up to your obedience

There have been a few seasons in our 25 years where we stayed together simple because we were being obedient. (I’d say Toni had to exercise her obedience more than I did.)

So you stay when you feel like leaving. You stay when you feel like doing something irresponsible.

You just obey what you believe God has called you to do in the situation. I believe God has called me to stay married to one woman for life, and Toni believes God has called her to stay married to one man for life.

And in the process of being obedient, we both discovered something incredible: your emotions eventually catch up to your obedience.

Though the joy may have left for a few days, a few weeks, and once or twice, for a season, it came back. Deeper, richer and more abundant than we ever expected.

3. Don’t make tomorrow’s decisions based on today’s emotions

So you can see I’ve learned not to trust my feelings, because like the rest of creation, my feelings were victims of the fall.

A quick lesson: don’t make tomorrow’s decisions based on today’s emotions.

Sometimes we defied stereotypical Christian advice and went to bed angry. But at least we went to bed together. And reason usually returned with the dawn.

Thank goodness on those days when emotion clouded judgment we just decided not to decide.

There’s wisdom in that for life, not just for marriage.

4. Live your story…not someone else’s

You will be tempted to compare yourself to other couples and other ‘leadership’ couples you admire. That can be healthy. It can also be horrible.

Live your story.

I’ve heard famous preachers say they’ve never had a fight about money. I promise you we have.

You can feel terrible about that and think “what’s wrong with me?”, or you can bring that before God and work it out together.

One of my all time favourite Andy Stanley series is The Comparison Trap. If you struggle with ‘why aren’t we more like X?”, watch it.

5. Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook lie

Nobody’s life is as great as they make it out to be on Instagram.

If you’re comparing your real life to someone else’s posted life, you will implode.

Not much more to say about that. You know what I mean.

6. Don’t put pressure on your spouse that only God can bear

I heard this from Tim Keller a few years ago (do not have a source…sorry).

With the disappearance of God from more and more of our culture, people have lost a sense of the divine and the majestic.

Consequently, our desire to worship—no longer directed toward God—gets directed at our spouses and children. It places pressure on them they were not designed to bear, and many marriages and families collapse from the pressure.

Pinterest has placed a ridiculous amount of pressure on wedding receptions and even home decor that the average family can’t live up to. The kind of majesty that used to go into a cathedral now goes into a two year old’s birthday party.

There is something fundamentally flawed with this, and the sooner you take that pressure off your spouse, off your kids and off yourself, the healthier you become.

7. You probably married your opposite

All those things you loved about your spouse when you were dating are the some of the things that will drive you crazy when you’re married.

We just get attracted to our opposites.

Knowing that is progress in itself, and will help you delight in your spouse (when he or she isn’t driving you crazy over said opposites).

8. Counsellors are worth it

Toni and I first started seeing a counsellor when we were in our mid thirties. I should have gone when I was in my twenties.

I don’t know where I’d be as a person, husband, father and leader without the help I’ve had from some incredible Christian counsellors who have helped me see where I need grace and redemption.

I resisted going to counselling. If you’re resisting, stop. There’s freedom on the other side.

9. Progress starts when you see that you’re the problem

We had a great couple of first years, but when tension arose I thought none of it was my fault.

After all, I had little conflict as a single guy, so who had to be bringing all this tension in my marriage? Couldn’t have been me.

I could not have been more wrong.

Now I just assume I’m probably the problem. And I usually am. It’s simpler that way…in life and leadership.

10. Your unspoken assumptions can sink you

There’s a right way and a wrong way to do everything…or so we think.

In the kitchen, I take an ingredient out, and then I put it back. And wipe the counter. Then I take the next step in cooking whatever I’m cooking.

Toni takes everything out, makes a glorious meal, and cleans up later when the food is cooking.

assumed my way was the right way. But there’s no right and wrong here, just different.

Yet we didn’t know what was driving our kitchen tension until we named it. Now we can laugh at it (most days).

When you surface the assumptions…you mitigate the conflict.

11. When you agree on values, you’ll agree a lot more

Because it’s often the little things you fight about, it’s important to understand where you agree on the big things.

Big things would include your faith, your approach to parenting, your philosophy of life, your priorities, your finances and more.

When you agree on your values, you’ll agree on a lot more.

12. Remember that if you leave, you take all your unresolved problems to your next relationship

This is simply true, and you’ve seen it 1000 times in others.

And you think you’ll be the exception to the rule.

You won’t be.

13. Pray together

Pray together. Out loud.

Yes it’s hard. Yes it’s awkward.

Yes, men resist it. And yes, pastors resist it.

Do it.

14. If you’re a guy, lead your marriage spiritually

My wife and I met in law school. A progressive, left-leaning law school.

Had I even suggested in any way that I was the spiritual head of a home, I would have been laughed out of the school. Or maybe arrested.

But 25 years in, there’s no question I need to lead my wife spiritually. My leadership needs to reflect Christ’s leadership (a servant’s attitude motivated by love), but it’s still leadership.

Most men resist taking spiritual leadership at home. Most male leaders resist taking authentic, Christ-motivated loving leadership at home.

Start leading in love.

15. Go on weekly date nights

In the early days we had no money for date nights. We went anyway.

When your kids are young, it’s especially important because most of your conversation is ‘transactional’ (you cook…I’ll drive the kids to soccer).

In the rough seasons, sometimes we’d spend the first half of date night resolving arguments we couldn’t finish in the hum of every day life. Not fun, but probably healthy.

But we had some awesome date nights too.

Don’t have time? Don’t have money?

Well, if you broke up, you’d date your new girlfriend.

So instead, date your wife. Your kids will thank you for it.

You’ll thank yourself for it one day too.

16. Don’t make your kids the centre of your family

In today’s culture, kids have become the centre of many homes.

Parents have stopped living for Christ and for each other and started basing all their decisions around their kids.

There are two problems with that.

First, your kids eventually leave…leaving you with a gaping hole.

Second, putting your kids at the centre of your home communicates to them that they’re more important than they are. And they know it. As Tim Elmore has suggested, this approach produces kids with high arrogance and low self-esteem.

Child-centered parenting produces self-centred kids.

The best gift you can give your kids is a Christ-centered, healthy marriage.

17. Take personal vacations WITHOUT the kids

We were one of the few couples among our friends who did this, but every year Toni and I would get away even for a night or two WITHOUT the kids.

Our friends would tell us it had been 3, 5 even 10 years since they’d done it.

I’m so glad we took the time to do that. It renewed and remade us. We made significant progress on our relationships so many times we did that. Plus…so much of it was fun.

18. Take family vacations every year

We also took family vacations every year. Often they weren’t glorious. We did what we could afford.

But our kids (now 23 and 19) tell us it was one of their favourite things growing up and something that really bonded our family.

I wrote more about why and how we took those vacations in this Parent Cue post.

Bottom line? You don’t have to go to Disney…you just have to go.

19. Figure out how to be a couple again BEFORE your kids grow up

When our then 16 year old drove off in the car with his brother on the day he got his driver’s licence, Toni and I were left standing in the living room waving good bye.

Then we looked at each other and said “Oh my goodness…before we know it, they’re going to be gone.”

We realized we had WAY more life ahead of us where it would just be us.

So we started new hobbies we could enjoy together (snowshoeing, hiking, cycling) and really worked on our friendship.

My favourite thing to do on my days off is to hang out with my best friend.

20. Open the gift of sex…it’s from God

There’s so much funk about sex. For the record, I believe marriage is the context God designed for sex.

The irony of course is that too many married couples lose interest in sex. I’ve met way too many people who tell me (because I’m a pastor I guess) that they live in a sexless marriage.

Significantly, our culture only glamorizes sex outside of marriage.

When was the last time you saw a married couple on TV or in a movie in a love scene? Right…you can’t remember.

You’re probably even thinking gross, I wouldn’t want to see that. (Not that any of us should be watching steamy scenes, but you get the point).

And now you see the problem.

Why, in our culture, is it not weird when a couple at a bar in a movie hooks up or a wife whose husband is out of town gets it on with her boss, but it is weird when two people who have committed to each other for life have sex?

Why?

Married people: sex is a gift. Open it.

The more emotionally, relationally and spiritually close you get to your spouse, the better it gets.

Okay, that’s about all I’m comfortable saying about sex. :)

What About You?

I could not be more excited about the next 25 years. It feels like we have a foundation for more joy, less pain, and more of Christ…together. It hasn’t been easy…but it’s been completely worth it.

I’d love to hear from those of you who have made it through 6 months, a year, 10 years or 50 years of marriage.

What are you learning? What’s helped you?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

RAINER 01

CNLP 036: Why Churches Die—An Interview With Thom Rainer

What are the signs your church might die?

Why are so many churches dying?

In this episode, blogger, podcaster and Lifeway CEO Thom Rainer outlines why so many churches fail to thrive.

Welcome to Episode 36 of the Podcast.RAINER 01

Guest Links: Thom Rainer

ThomRainer.com

Rainer on Leadership

Thom Rainer on Twitter

Thom Rainer on Facebook

LifeWay

I Will – Releases July 15, 2015

Autopsy of a Deceased Church 

Links Mentioned in this Episode

Reggie Joiner

Andy Stanley

Perry Noble

Jeff Henderson

Jenni Catron

Josh Gagnon

Terry Scalzitti

Rick Warren

Steven Furtick

Bill Hybels

John Piper

Mike Glenn at Brentwood Church

John Lee Dumas

Rich Birch

Unseminary.com

Ron Edmondson; Episode 10

Dom Ruso; Episode 15

Vanderbloemen Search Group

 

3 Things You Can Do Right Away

Thom says that only 10 percent of churches are growing faster than the community growth rate, and to keep up with cultural changes, churches should revisit their strategy every 2-3 years. You don’t have to compromise Biblical truths to accommodate culture shifts, but we do need to understand that the times in which we live and the pace of culture changes fast.

  1. Have outside eyes. Not every church can hire a third-party company to perform an audit of their organization. But you could ask another pastor of the community, an outside family member or anyone who can see the church from a vantage point other than daily or weekly. Erosion is slow. You’re not going to notice it in the first couple of years, but over time, the effects will become evident.
  2. Keep honest metrics. Facts are our friends if they’re used well. Use numbers to find out where you’re going and where you want to be. Thom used the analogy of stepping on a scale. We avoid scales because we don’t want to see the numbers, but you’re not going to make the changes you need to make if you don’t have that test of reality. Don’t deny the reality of the metrics.
  3. Examine your budget. Look at your budget from five years ago, and look at it today. Then, ask these questions: How much of our budget is growing externally, and how much of it is used for our membership? You want your budget to take care of the members, but dying churches have a monetary shift away from external uses and then to internal uses. Are you using funds to draw people to your church, or are you only taking care of your own? In many cases, Thom says churches have become religious country clubs. The members pay their dues, and they get their perks for that instead of serving God through the church. What happens is that more of a church budget is focused on them, and fewer resources go toward growth. What is your church doing beyond itself, and how is that measured in dollars?

Quotes from Thom

 

A New Episode Every Week…Just Subscribe

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Appreciate This? Rate the Podcast.

Hopefully this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast in iTunes and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn Radio as well.

Your rating and review helps gets the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Chris Rivers

How do you make sure your team stays aligned with your mission and vision? Chris Rivers’s job at New Spring Church in South Carolina was to teach new staff New Spring’s culture.

The challenge was they were adding up to ten new staff per WEEK. Chris explains how they did it, and what you need to do to keep your team aligned.

Subscribe for free now, and you won’t miss Episode 37.

In the meantime, got a question?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

overlooked practices

12 Often Overlooked Practices Great Leaders Develop That Poor Leaders Don’t

Ever wonder what separates great leaders from poor leaders?

Ever wonder whether you’re developing the practices and qualities of great leadership?

I’ve met more than a few ineffective leaders who have great intentions, but just haven’t developed the skills and attitudes that separate great leaders from poor leaders.

So what separates great leaders from not-so-great leaders?

There are many things, but these 12 overlooked practices stand out to me as often-missed qualities and characteristics of the best leaders I know.

The good news is none of them are genetic. They mostly consist of attitudes and disciplines.

Change your attitude, gain some discipline, and you can become a far better leader too.

overlooked practices

12 Often Overlooked Practices of Great Leaders

For the sake of helping all of us lead better, here are 12 often overlooked practices great leaders develop.

Great leaders:

1. Make complex matters seem simple

This is much more difficult than you think. As Woody Guthrie is quoted as saying, “Any fool can make something complicated. It takes a genius to make it simple.”

Great leaders stick with a problem or idea long enough and engage it deeply enough to clear away the fog and reduce the concept to its simplest forms so anyone can understand it.

This doesn’t mean they dumb it down. Rather, it means they make the concept accessible. And because it becomes accessible, more people are helped, and more people follow.

For a sermon: If you can’t say it in a sentence, you shouldn’t say it. I realize that’s difficult, but here’s the process I’ve been using for years to reduce complex ideas into single sentence summaries.

And when it comes to something larger than a 30-60 minute talk (like a project or initiative), work on it long enough to develop a 30 second elevator pitch (here are some quick hints at how to develop one). Again, if you can’t say it in 30 seconds, you probably don’t understand the problem clearly enough to proceed.

And even if you don’t, no one else will understand it clearly enough to follow.

2. Fight for clarity

In leadership, confusion reigns until someone makes things clear. Clarity is what great leaders bring to the table.

I find one of the best ways to become clear on issues is to ask questions, pull away to think and pray about it, sometimes for days or weeks and then take the idea back to the team for more discussion. Usually, clarity emerges out of the process.

But clarity doesn’t happen automatically. You have to fight for it.

3. Refuse to make excuses

Ever notice that the best leaders rarely make excuses?

In fact, the leaders who make the most progress make the fewest excuses. And the leaders who make the most excuses make the least progress.

This is one of my pet leadership themes: You can make excuses, or you can make progress, but you can’t make both.

4. Think abundance

A scarcity mindset will kill your organization or church over the long haul.

Yes there are seasons for restraint. Yes, every organization needs a bean counter.

But if you think small you will stay small. If you think it’s not possible, it won’t be.

5. Regularly sift through key priorities

It would be amazing if you could set your priorities once at say, age 22, and just cruise through life without readjusting them.

It just doesn’t work that way.

Great leaders are continually assessing and reassessing how they spend their time, energy and resources.

I realize that every 3-6 months now, I have to rethink who I’m meeting with, how much time I’ll make available for certain activities, and rethinking our organization goals and progress.

6. Think won’t, not can’t

How you speak to yourself matters.

Rather than saying “I can’t” (even internally), great leaders instead say “I won’t”.

That small change moves them from realizing they could do something, but have chosen not to. While you may not always say that out loud in front of people (it’s rude), telling yourself you won’t reminds you that you had a choice and exercised it.

While that might seem like a small difference, it’s the difference between people who let life happen to them and people who make life happen.

7. Master self-discipline

Self-discipline is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Self-discipline is simply taking responsibility for your actions, health, attitudes, schedule, words, mistakes and decisions.

To not do so makes you…irresponsible.

8. Think we, not me

Truly great leaders die to themselves.

As Jim Collins has so surprisingly and famously demonstrated, the greatest leaders in the corporate world are…humble. They are determined, but they’re not selfish. Jesus would agree.

They believe in a cause greater than themselves and serve the organization or cause they’re a part of. They don’t expect it to serve them.

If you want to be great, die to yourself.

9. Decide to work for their employees

One day you’ll be such a great leader everyone will serve you, right?

Wrong.

The greatest bosses realize their employees don’t work for them, they work for their employees.

If you show up with a ‘how can I serve you?’ attitude, you be a far more effective leader.

10. Get started early

This one’s simple. Just set your alarm earlier.

For whatever reason, early risers do better in life. They’re happier, healthier and more productive.

Get a jump on your day, and you get a jump on leadership and life.

11. Arrive on time

Great leaders are rarely late. This is another simple leadership discipline that can get you far.

Show up on time. Show up prepared, and you will be ahead of most people.

12. Practice self-care

The best leaders take time off. They don’t work 24/7.

They realize they have limits and they respect them.

As I outlined here, almost every leader will either practice self-care, or will revert to self-medication.

Don’t believe it? Ever notice you eat worse when you’re under stress? That you swap out exercise when your schedule fills up in exchange for more caffeine?

If you answered yes, you’re self-medicating, and it takes down a huge slice of business leaders and church leaders.

What Do You Think?

There are many more characteristics, but these are 12 I think deserve more daylight than they usually get.

What would you add to the list?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

meetings

5 Signs Bad Governance Is Stifling Your Church’s Growth and Mission

You probably almost didn’t open this blog post, did you?

Governance?

Who cares about governance?

Well, if you care about church growth and accomplishing your mission, read on.

I’m convinced bad governance is a key contributing factor as to why many churches don’t grow.

And, conversely, I’m convinced that good governance is a key factor as to why some churches do grow.

In fact, there’s a good chance bad governance is frustrating you right now…and you might not even know it.

Bad governance…or maybe more charitably, unhelpful governanceis pretty much the norm in church world. Even if you have decent people on your board or boards, the system itself is sometimes the obstacle.

I’ve never heard a conference talk on how governance can help a church grow. I’ve never seen a webinar on it. Apart from this really good blog post and this great book, I haven’t seen much at all.

But if you spend 3 minutes going over these 5 issues, I think your church could end up poised for greater growth. Or at least you’ll have better insight into why things aren’t going the way you hoped they’d be going.

Bad governance is the silent killer of many great church missions.

meetings

Don’t Be So Emotional

Before we jump into the signs that bad governance is stifling your church’s growth, a few words.

I realize that many denominations pride themselves on governance as much as they do on theology. I get that.

So as you read through this you might be tempted to think I’m being unbiblical in my critiques or even insensitive to your denomination’s approach. As a former member of a denomination, (I lead a non-denominational church now), I can empathize.

Yet many forms of church governance are not so much biblical as they are historical, which means they should be open to change. Most governance systems were designed to work in an era when churches were smaller, when communities and cities themselves were smaller, and when we were not living in a post-Christian era.

This doesn’t mean all vestiges of historic church governance should be ousted. But I’ve seen many cases where church governances hurts the mission of the church more than it helps the mission of the church. What worked 200 years ago has stopped working today.

Churches that are willing reformulate governance (within the parameters of scripture of course) will do far better than those who don’t.

So as we go through these 5 signs related to bad church governance, try not to get defensive. Stay open. There’s too much at stake not to rethink everything in the church.

5 Signs Bad Church Governance is Stifling Your Church’s Growth and Mission

So how does governance hurt the mission rather than help it? Here are 5 signs your governance is working against your mission, not for it:

1. Your board or congregation loves to micromanage

Small churches are notorious for wanting approval on every decision, from the paint colour in the kids ministry rooms to every hire in the church, to every minute curriculum change.

That’s a recipe for disaster.

Why?

Once you reach a certain size, ministry becomes complex enough that two hours a month or even a monthly congregational meeting isn’t nearly enough time to meaningfully review the issues before the congregation.

Just think about it for a second.

A pastor or staff member will have spent 160 hours working on issues in a month…minimum. A board member might spend two. A congregational member might spend an hour..or, more likely, about 30 seconds, before passing judgment.

How can a board make a decision on every item in the allotted time? How on earth can a congregation?

Yet it’s not that hard to find board members and congregational members who have opinions on everything…no matter how ill-informed those opinions might be.

Boards and congregations that micromanage keep their churches small because of their need to control every decision.

Churches in which boards micromanage rarely grow beyond 200 attenders because the issues facing churches larger than that require boards to stop micromanaging (here are 7 other reasons churches never break the 200 attendance mark).

Micromanaging shrinks the size of the congregation back to the size in which everything can be ‘controlled’.

One more thing on micromanagement.

Great leaders never say “Please micromanage me.”  So if you want to repel great leaders, micromanage them.

2. Your congregation demands consensus

Somewhere along the way someone got the idea that everyone has to agree with every decision.

I think that someone is crazy.

Where on earth did the idea that we need consensus on every decision emerge?

If Moses had waited for consensus before leaving Egypt, the Israelites would still be in slavery.

Consensus kills courage. Churches that look for consensus will never find courage, and churches that find courage will rarely find consensus…at least initially.

When you drive for consensus, decisions get watered down to the point where all the risk is gone, and any boldness evaporates. You get churches that come out in favour of yard sales and Mother’s Day. And that’s about it.

Look, if you and your spouse can’t agree on where to go on vacation, how do you think you’ll get 200, or 2000, people to agree on anything significant as a church?

Almost nothing gets accomplished if everyone has a say.

So should you ever try for consensus? Well, yes, but likely at the board level. John Stickl has a fascinating approach to consensus style leadership in a mega-church context that he explains in Episode 29 of my leadership podcast.

3. Your board or congregation doesn’t trust the staff

This sounds so basic, but it’s so often missed.

For a church to grow and be healthy, there has to be a high level of trust between the staff and the board and congregation.

Naturally, that trust has to be earned by the pastors and staff.

But it’s amazing to me how many people in churches distrust their pastors and staff for no good reason. Churches that cultivate a default assumption of suspicion, not trust, will always pay a price.

The best leader I know on this subject is Andy Stanley, and if you haven’t listened to his 20 minute podcast on trust v. suspicion, you should.

Bottom line?

If you don’t trust the staff, fire the staff. If you trust them, let them lead.

4. Your staff hates the board

I realize hate is a strong word. But I’ve met enough church leaders who loathe their boards to know the problem goes both ways.

Sure. Look. I know you don’t have your ‘dream board’ yet.

You inherited a board when you stepped into leadership. We all did.

When I began in leadership, the three small churches had a total attendance of 45 people (adding all three together), but had 18 elders (I’m not making this up).

The average age of the eldership was about 70, and they had all presided over churches that had been stuck for decades. There were some great people on the board. And there were a few who were not ideally suited for leadership.

That could have been a recipe for disaster.

But why not see it as an opportunity instead?

You have to start cultivating a relationship with the people you have in leadership before you can work with the people you want in leadership.

If there are toxic board members, you can deal with that. And over time you can build a better board.

But if you hate your board after 3 years of leadership, it’s not your board’s fault, it’s yours.

You haven’t done the hard work of cultivating a relationship of trust or moving unhealthy board members off.

So get started. Be a great steward of who you have, not who you don’t have.

5. Your board focuses on complainers

If your church board meetings usually begin with “So and so isn’t happy about X”, you have a problem.

Sometimes boards feel it’s their responsibility to speak up for people who don’t have a voice.

That might be true for widows and orphans. It’s not true for the cranky church member who is opposed to everything.

As my friend Reggie Joiner says, great churches focus on who they’re trying to reach, not who they’re trying to keep.

Why do so many churches struggle with trying to please people?

That’s great question. Here are a few blog posts and a book I’ve written on the subject of handling opposition to your vision:

Leading Change Without Losing It: 5 Strategies That Can Revolutionize How You Lead Change When Facing Opposition

3 Hard But Powerful Truths About Likablity and Leadership

Why You Need to Stop Thinking Your Church Is For Everyone

Boards (and congregations) that focus on who they’re trying to reach will be much healthier and do much better than congregations that focus on complainers.

What Do You See?

I realize this is tough medicine and may come as a shock to some leaders, but I do think bad governance in the silent killer in many churches.

What do you think? What are you seeing?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

clay_scroggins

CNLP 035: Leading Young At North Point—An Interview with Clay Scroggins

At age 30, he was asked to lead a church of 6000.

At age 34, he was asked to lead North Point Community Church, a campus with 14,000 attenders, where Andy Stanley is the Senior Pastor.

In this episode, we’ll talk to Clay Scroggins about the challenges of leading when you’re young, and how he’s navigating senior leadership at North Point Church in Atlanta.

Welcome to Episode 35 of the Podcast.

clay_scroggins

Guest Links: Clay Scroggins

Clay on Twitter

Clay on Instagram

North Point Community Church

Links Mentioned in this Episode

Andy Stanley; Episode 1

John Stickl; Episode 29

Josh Gagnon; Episode 17

The Overcast App

Joel Thomas

Reggie Joiner

The Drive Conference

Nate Bargatze; Nate Bargatze on Jimmy Fallon

John Piper; Sermons ( also on iTunes)

Tim Keller

The Impostor Syndrome

When Family and Work Collide by Andy Stanley

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

 

3 Things You Can Do Right Away

If you’re a young leader or new to leadership, you may struggle with your identity. Just like with any transition in life, you don’t have to be a different person, you don’t have to please everyone and you don’t have to be perfect. Clay guides us through his transition into senior leadership and gives some great advice about his experience.

  1. Have fun! Not every moment in ministry has to be serious. “My biggest concern when going into leadership was being surrounded by boring Christians,” Clay says. Having fun gives your church an escape and allows God to raise others out of trouble and anxiety. If you’re going to talk about the grace and love of Jesus, you should have a good time doing it. Humor is a great way to lead into a serious discussion. It gets others relaxed about the conversation and makes the atmosphere more inviting. Clay says he tries to be a better preacher by listening to comedians because they know how to tell great stories and hold people’s attention.
  2. Maintain authenticity. At 34, Clay borders on being a Gen-Xer and a Millennial, so he naturally places a high value on those who are genuine, an essential trait he maintains in his leadership. In the beginning, he says that there was a temptation to make it seem like he had all the answers, but he regrets not asking for more help. He knew that there was a pressure to perform well, and he was surrounded by doubt. “My intuition was to figure it out and make everyone think I had it together.” Allow yourself to be vulnerable, ignore patronizing comparisons and don’t feel pressured to be anyone other than yourself.
  3. Don’t allow intimidation to distract you. As a young leader, Clay felt he was missing a secret wisdom that came with age, but he learned that each stage in life incurs an understanding that’s unique to each person. “I thought that since I wasn’t of age, I was missing the wisdom … It was an unnecessary intimidation.” You don’t have to lead with someone else’s life story. Find confidence in what God has called you to do.

Quotes from Clay

A New Episode Every Week…Just Subscribe

The podcast releases every Tuesday morning.

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from great leaders such as Derwin Gray, Ron Edmondson, Jon Acuff, William Vanderbloemen, Tony Morgan, Frank Bealer, Jeff Henderson, Kara Powell, Casey Graham, Perry Noble, and Andy Stanley.

Subscribe via

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Appreciate This? Rate the Podcast.

Hopefully this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast in iTunes and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn Radio as well.

Your rating and review helps gets the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Thom Rainer

What are the signs your church might die? Why are so many churches dying? In this episode, blogger, podcaster and Lifeway CEO Thom Rainer outlines why so many churches fail to thrive.

Subscribe for free now, and you won’t miss Episode 36.

In the meantime, got a question?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

Punch someone

7 Ways To Respond When You Want to Punch Someone—And You’re a Christian

Feel like you want to punch someone? Or at least not deal with them anymore?

What do you do when the person in question goes to your church?

How do you handle that tension when you’re a…Christian?

It’s strange, but being a Christian doesn’t automatically make you good at resolving conflict. In fact, many Christians and many churches are terrible at it.

Unresolved—or poorly resolved—conflict sinks a lot of potential in the church. It also causes thousands of staff and volunteers to leave every year. And it makes millions of church goers simply miserable.

Fun isn’t it?

Chances are you already know exactly what I’m talking about. Even better. You know exactly who I’m talking about.

In the United States alone, 70% of the people who will go to work today will tell you they don’t like their jobs. I don’t think that’s just an American issue. It’s a people issue.

So many people I know get frustrated at work. And one of the top frustrations?

The people they work with.

Ditto for church world (no stat…I’ve just visited enough churches to feel comfortable saying that).

Sometimes the people we’re most frustrated with are the people we work with (staff and volunteers) and the people we worship with.

How do you fix that without becoming a jerk or letting the tension simmer unresolved?

Punch someone

Why Do Christians Struggle With Conflict So Much?

Before we jump to how to resolve conflict, let’s understand why we have it.

First, on this side of heaven conflict is inevitable. But that said, here’s why I think Christians often struggle with conflict:

In the name of grace, Christians sacrifice truth.

In the name of truth, Christians sacrifice grace.

We worry about hurting other people’s feelings, when really one of the best things we can do is offer honest feedback.

And in the end, we’re not sure how to support someone we genuinely disagree with, we swing the extremes: we avoid the situation or we blow it up.

None of that needs to be.

7 Healthy Ways to Resolve Tension and Conflict

I have learned (through trial and error), that these 7 strategies below can help me deal with conflict.

I hope they can help you.

They can work with coworkers, with a boss, with a volunteer, with a friend—with anyone you have a relationship with.

Here are 7 ways that I hope can help you resolve conflict with someone you work with:

1. Own your part of the problem

Conflict and even bad chemistry is almost never 100% one person’s fault.

One of the best expressions I’ve heard on how to figure out the extent to which you might be part of the problem is to ask a compelling question: What’s it like to be on the other side of me?

Jeff Henderson asked that question in a great series at North Point Church called Climate Change.

You can listen to the message for free here, and a scroll through the small group questions in and of itself is instructive. Own what you can.

So…what is it like to be on the other side of you? Ask some people.

2. Go direct

Issues in the church are often mishandled because we talk about someone rather than to someone.

Your co-worker at the water cooler isn’t the problem, so why talk to him about it?

Jesus was crystal clear on how to handle conflict, but very few Christians follow his practice.

In the name of being ‘nice’ (I can’t tell her that!), we become ineffective.

Talk to the person you have the problem with. Directly. Or else just be quiet about it.

3. Give them the benefit of the doubt 

The person you’re upset with might not realize how they are coming across. It’s okay to say that out loud.

“Rachel, you might not realize this, but sometimes you emails can come across as demanding or even demeaning. I’m not sure you’re aware of that, but I just wanted to let you know how they leave me feeling sometimes.”

That gives the person an out, and frankly, many times, they probably had no idea they were coming across negatively.

Giving a person an out and the benefit of the doubt preserves their dignity.

4. Explain. Don’t blame

How to talk to the person you’re struggling with is where many people struggle.

And those conversations often go sideways because people begin with blame.

Don’t blame. Explain.

Instead of saying “You always” or “You never” (which might be how you feel like starting), begin by talking about how you experience them.

If you’re dealing with an ‘angry person’ for example, you might frame it this way “Jake, I just want you to know that when you get upset in a meeting, it makes me feel like the discussion is over and I can’t make a contribution.”

If you’re you’re dealing with gossip, try something like:  “Ryan, on Tuesday when you told me what happened to Greg on the weekend, I felt like that was something Greg should have told me directly.”

Do you hear the difference between explaining and blaming?

5. Be specific

Giving one or two specific incidents is much better making general accusations or commenting on personality traits. “The other day in the meeting” or “In your email on the the August numbers yesterday” is much more helpful then “You just always seem so frustrated.”

The more specific you are, the more you de-escalate conflict and move toward a hopeful ending.

6. Tell them you want things to get better

What the person you’re confronting needs is hope.

At this point, they probably feel defensive, ashamed and (hopefully) sorry.

Let them know the gifts they bring to the table and the good they do.

7. Pray for them

I know this sounds trite, but it’s not. Don’t pray about them. Pray for them.

It is almost impossible to stay angry with someone you pray for.

It can also give you empathy for them, and at least in your mind’s eye, it places you both firmly at the foot of the cross in need of forgiveness.

It will take any smirk of superiority out of your attitude, which goes a long way toward solving problems.

What Are You Learning?

Do these seven steps always result in a positive outcome? No.

But I believe they will resolve the majority of cases in front of you in a very healthy way. At least they have for me. (This approach, by the way, is also effective at home and in most relationships in life.)

I don’t get all 7 approaches right every time, but when I can practice them, I find that conflict almost always resolves better.

What would you add to the list? What’s worked for you?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

Wayne_Cordova

CNLP 034: 21 Practical Tech Hacks That Will Free Up Your Time To Lead—An Interview with Geek Pastor Wayne Cordova

Some leaders are tech geeks. Others are not.

In an incredibly helpful, practical episode, GeekPastor.com’s Wayne Cordova walks leaders through beginner, intermediate and geek level apps, tools, hacks and strategies that can help every leader free up time to do the real work of leadership.

So whether you love tech or hate it, this episode is packed with practical tools that can help you free up time to lead better.

Welcome to Episode 34 of the Podcast.

Wayne_Cordova

 

Guest Links: Wayne Cordova 

GeekPastor.com

Crosspoint Church

Geek Pastor on Twitter

Wayne Cordova on Twitter

Wayne on Facebook

Links Mentioned in this Episode

Andy Stanley; Episode 1

Mark Batterson; Episode 32

Tony Morgan; Episode 6

Kara Powell; Episode 4

Perry Noble; Episode 2

Casey Graham; Episode 3

Josh Gagnon; Episode 17

Dom Ruso; Episode 15

Paul Castelli

Post-It Note Planner

Beginner Apps

The Overcast App, a powerful, yet simple podcast player

Wunderlist, an easy organizational tool to help you get things done faster

Things / Cultured Code, a task manager for easy organization

Evernote, a workspace that allows you to capture what’s important, move ideas and stay on task

The Pomodoro Technique, a timer that helps keep you focused while promoting productivity

GTD – Getting Things Done, David Allen’s productivity system that captures, clairifies and organizes so you can reflect and engage with tasks you need to complete

Gmail, a very basic, user-friendly email system that can be customized to meet your organization’s needs

Airmail, an organizational e-mail app

Mailbox App, the email app Carey uses on his iPhone and iPad.

Dropbox, allows for easy sharing and access to files of all sizes

Jotnot, scan PDFs from documents, recepits, faxes, expenses and whiteboards. Great for financial organization and planning.

Instagram, a photo and video-sharing app that allows you to apply filters to capture the look and feel of a moment

Intermediate & Advanced Apps

Dispatch, helps you tame your inbox by letting you delete, defer, delegate, generate actions and even respond to your mails with ease.

Wayne’s Podcast on the Dispatch App – Inbox Hero

Text Expander, save time and keystrokes with customized shortcuts

Wayne’s Blog, 4 Practical Ministry Uses for Text Expander

Phrase Express, saves keystrokes by expanding text abbreviations into full text snippets

If This Then That / IFTTT

Work Flow, connects apps and actions together to automate things you do on your device.

The Trifecta of Automation Apps (These get expensive if you use all of them.)

Keyboard Maestro, automate almost any repetitive task you do with an Apple device

Launch Bar, an adaptive app launcher and document browser that allows you to access applications, documents, bookmarks by typing short abbreviations

Hazel, a system preference payne that helps clean up your files by automatically organizing

 

3 Things You Can Do Right Away

We can breeze through a day of ministry and never leave our desks, but technology helps see projects through and allows us to get to what really matters. When used as a tool, technology plays into the “how” when accomplishing the work of ministry and gives us margin to focus on building relationships. Wayne Cordova walks us through the apps that help him manage his ministry and tells you how to get started.

  1. Start using the to-do list or app that works best for you. Some people ask, “What Bible should I use?” when they start attending a new church, and the answer is simple. Use the Bible that you’re going to read. The same principle applies to technology. Before you spend money on anything, really decide on the system that’s best for you, and don’t spend money on anything that isn’t cross-platform. Look for the little plus (+) symbol that lets you know it’s available across multiple operating systems. Not everyone on your team will exclusively use one platform, so it’s not beneficial to use an organizing tool that isn’t universal.
  2. Work on how you choose to do e-mail. Everyone has to have e-mail to maintain communication. Get started with something simple. Gmail has a great search function within its system, and is very user-friendly. You could probably have a tech-savvy team member get your organization set up with custom Gmail addresses. Don’t feel obligated to use the software that comes on your computer. There are a variety of options that provide desktop options and apps for your phone. (If you’re a more advanced user, check out the organizational apps in the “Links Mentioned” section.)
  3. Turn your notifications off. There’s nothing like a red badge with a number on it that will prompt you to respond to notifications sooner. You want to see as little red as possible on your phone, and they get in the way of your ministry, your family and your personal time. Eliminate badges that may distract you, such as facebook, twitter and other social media apps.

A Special Offer from Wayne

Wayne has put together 3 FREE exclusive webinars for listeners of the podcast. Just go to www.geekpastor.com/carey. You’ll get tips for managing  email, automation and going paperless.

There will also be an invite to a webinar he’s doing on Google Hangout where Wayne will give away a free hour of coaching to anyone who tunes in!

Quotes from Wayne

 

A New Episode Every Week…Just Subscribe

The podcast releases every Tuesday morning.

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from great leaders such as Derwin Gray, Ron Edmondson, Jon Acuff, William Vanderbloemen, Tony Morgan, Frank Bealer, Jeff Henderson, Kara Powell, Casey Graham, Perry Noble, and Andy Stanley.

Subscribe via

iTunes

Stitcher

TuneIn Radio

Appreciate This? Rate the Podcast.

Hopefully this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast in iTunes and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn Radio as well.

Your rating and review helps gets the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Clay Scroggins

At age 30, he was asked to lead a church of 6000. At age 34, he was asked to lead North Point Community Church, a campus with 14,000 attenders, where Andy Stanley is the Senior Pastor. In this episode, we’ll talk to Clay Scroggins about the challenges of leading when you’re young, and how he’s navigating senior leadership at North Point Church in Atlanta.

Subscribe for free now, and you won’t miss Episode 35.

In the meantime, got a question?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

attitude

5 Significant Attitude Differences That Separate Growing and Declining Churches

So what’s the difference between a growing church and a declining church?

Well there are many, but one of the biggest differences I see is the attitude of the leaders.

The leaders of growing churches almost always share a common attitude.

So do the leaders of declining churches.

And the attitude has a huge influence over the results each church sees.

Attitude may or may not be everything, but it’s close.

 attitude

Here are 5 attitude differences I see again and again in growing churches and declining churches.

1. We Can v. We Can’t

Perhaps the biggest differences I see between growing churches and declining churches is the attitude around what’s possible.

Growing churches believe they can.

Declining churches believe they can’t.

They’re both right.

One of my all time favourite quotes is Henry Ford’s “Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you’re right.”  He’s correct.

Growing churches make a way when there’s no way, which seems to be what God specializes in if you read the Bible.

When you sit around your leadership table, do you come up with 20 ways to make it happen, or 20 reasons why it won’t work? That tells you far more about your church than you probably want it to.

Growing churches believe they can. It’s that simple. And even if they’re wrong, at least they tried. The mission is important enough to take significant risk.

2. Them v. Us

Declining churches focus on themselves.

Growing churches focus on the people they’re trying to reach.

If your leadership table conversations are all about the needs and wants of your members, it’s a sign that your church is insider focused.

The mission of the church is to reach the world. Growing churches not only know that; they live it.

Besides, who likes to hang out with selfish people?

And ironically, selfish people almost always end up in a very surprising place: alone. Because a life devoted to self ultimately leaves you alone. That’s also true for selfish churches.

If you’re becoming smaller and smaller, is it because you’re selfish?

3. Principles v. Preferences

Declining churches focus on their member’s preferences.

Todd didn’t like the music. 

Allison thinks we’re not deep enough. 

Bill wants to start a new program.

And so the leaders respond, trying to please everybody.

In reality, declining churches bend to the preferences of its members.

Growing churches don’t.

Instead, they focus on the principles (even strategies) that will help them reach new people.

Is your leadership team principle driven or preference driven? There’s a world of difference between the two.

4. Proactive v. Reactive

This is a close cousin of points 2 and 3 above, but the difference is deadly or life-giving depending on where you land.

Growing churches are proactive. They choose their agenda and immediately get on issues that can impact their future.

Declining churches are reactive, letting members determine the agenda and reacting to problems as they arise.

In fact, most declining churches are so busy reacting to problems other people raise that they never get around to charting a course for the future.

If you never get around to charting a course for the future, you will have no future.

Growing churches have a strong bias for setting their own agendas, not in the selfish sense, but in a way that determined leaders see what the mission requires and decide to deal with it.

The leaders in a growing church simply refuse to yield to the agenda of others that would take them off mission.

And as a result, they are far more effective.

5. Now v. Eventually

Growing churches act. And they act now.

Declining churches don’t.

Declining churches don’t actually say they won’t act, they’ll just say they’ll get to it ‘eventually’, or someday, or ‘when the time is right’—which means never.

By contrast, as I outlined here, great leaders and great teams banish the word ‘someday’ and other words from their vocabulary.

If you want to be effective, you act.

If you want to be ineffective, you don’t.

Talk without action has little value. And too many church leaders specialize in talk.

In addition, too many church teams meet for the sake of meeting.

If you can’t remember a the last time you made a major decision that changed the course of your church, your leaders are wasting their time.

If you talk about the same issues meeting after meeting with no resolution, you’re spinning your wheels.

Does that mean you have to act on everything? Well, yes and no.

If you’re not going to act, strike the item off the agenda and move on.

If you are going to act, act. Now.

Just make a decision and move on with it. Don’t get stuck in the no man’s land of believing the lie that talking about things solves things.

As my friend Casey Graham says, action produces traction. So act.

Want More?

If you’re passionate about the kind of leadership conversations your team is having, or you simply want to have better ones, I’m releasing a new book in a few months called Lasting Impact: 7 Powerful Conversations That Will Help Your Church Grow.

IMG_1125

The book is designed to facilitate team discussion around 7 of the most important issues facing churches today. And it has action steps for every team to take as a result of the conversation.

We released several hundred advance copies of the book last week at the Orange Conference (see above) and they’re all gone.

But the good news is the full book launch is coming this summer.

To get on the inside track of the full book release, just sign up here.

Then you won’t miss a thing.

What Do You See?

What are the attitude differences you’ve seen between growing and declining churches?

Scroll down the leave a comment!

 

Carey Orange 2014

Anticipating the Change You’re Not Expecting (Orange Conference 2015 Talk Notes)

This week I’m excited to be speaking at the Orange Conference in Atlanta Georgia.

As a way of serving those who attend my talks (and couldn’t be there but want to track with what’s happening) I’ll be posting the outline to each talk I give here on the blog.

Even if you don’t attend the conference, I hope you can glean a few insights from them that might help you lead better now.  And if you’re in the session, you won’t have to guess what that pesky blank you forgot to fill in was all about.

Here’s my talk outline for my Anticipating The Change You’re Not Expecting session, along with some additional posts and references if you want to go deeper.

Carey Orange 2014

Overview

Anticipating the change you’re not expecting.

Yes, we know that’s contradictory. But think back through the past few years: how many times did something blindside you when you should have seen it coming? The key to navigating personal and professional change lies in studying the people and organizations who’ve traveled further down your road.

Discover ways to learn from their lessons by doing your homework and looking ahead.

Introduction

1. At some point along the journey, most of us get blindsided.

 a. Leaders who see the future are in a better position to seize the future.

b. Knowing what’s coming is most of the battle.

4 Changes Most Leaders Aren’t Expecting

1. Growing Cynicism

a. Knowledge brings sorrow.

 b. You project past failures onto new situations.

c. You decide to stop trusting, hoping and believing.

d. The antidote to cynicism is curiosity.

2. Burnout

a. Most people don’t burnout overnight.

b. Passion fades.

c. Your heart grows hard.

d. Rest no longer refuels you.

e. You simply can’t function any more.

f. The antidote to self-medication is self-care.

3. Irrelevance

a. Irrelevance happens when the speed of change outside an organization is greater than the speed of change inside an organization. – Rick Warren

b. When you’re young, the current cultural dialogue is your native tongue.

c.  Culture never asks permissionto change. It just changes.

d. The older you get the harder this gets.

e.  Organizations that don’t change becomes museums to another era.

f. The antidote to irrelevance is change.

4. Ineffectiveness

a. Churches become ineffective when, over a long period of time, leaders begin to love the method more than they love the mission.

b. Leaders become ineffective when they fail to grow both their character and their competency.

c. Reinvention and renewal are the antidotes to ineffectiveness.

Two Questions to Help You See the Future So You Can Seize the Future

1. What am I not seeing that I should be seeing?

2. Who can help me see what I’m not seeing?

 Want More?

Here are some related posts that can help you dig deeper on this subject.

6 Reasons Leaders Grow Cynical (And How to Fight the Trend)

How Perry Noble Hit Rock Bottom While Pastoring One of America’s Largest Churches (Episode 2 of the CNLP)

9 Surefire Ways to Make Your Church Completely Ineffective

For further resources, access the free archive of thought-provoking, practical interviews with today’s top church leaders on The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast.

carey-nieuwhof-orange-tour

7 Keys to Leading High Capacity Volunteers (Orange Conference 2015 Talk Notes)

This week I’m excited to be speaking at the Orange Conference in Atlanta Georgia.

As a way of serving those who attend my talks (and couldn’t be there but want to track with what’s happening) I’ll be posting the outline to each talk I give here on the blog.

Even if you don’t attend the conference, I hope you can glean a few insights from them that might help you lead better now.  And if you’re in the session, you won’t have to guess what that pesky blank you forgot to fill in was all about.

Here’s my talk outline for my 7 Keys to Leading High Capacity Volunteers session.

carey-nieuwhof-orange-tour

Introduction

As a leader, you aspire to attract, keep and grow a team of high-capacity volunteers. But are you dreaming the impossible dream? Learn to keep your vision grounded by starting with a look at the flipside: where and why you’re losing your top volunteers.

Then take a guided tour through the 7 key ways to get your best people on board… and keep them there.

7 Keys To Leading High Capacity Volunteers

1. Give them a significant challenge.

a. People with significant leadership gifting respond best to significant challenges.

2. Continually communicate your mission, vision and strategy.

a. Mission and vision unite.

b. Strategy begins as divisive, but ultimately aligns a church.

3. Be organized

a. Few things are more demotivating to a volunteer than discovering the staff person didn’t set you up to succeed.

b. Some people will put with disorganization, but high capacity leaders will ultimately give up.

4. Refuse to let people off the hook

a. Your organization will drift to the level of accountability the team leader establishes.

b. Ask yourself, whom would I rather lose: highly motivated volunteers or poorly motivated volunteers?

5. Play favorites

a. Spend 80% of your time with the people who give you 80% of your results.

6. Surround high capacity people with high capacity people.

Like attracts like and like keeps like.

7. Pay them in nonfinancial currencies.

a. People gravitate most toward where they are valued most.

b. 5 non-financial currencies:

 I. Gratitude

II. Attention

III. Trust

IV. Empowerment

V. Respect

Want More?

Here are some related posts that can help you dig deeper on this subject.

7 Questions Every Volunteer Asks But Never Says Out Loud

How to Get Your Volunteers to Own Your Mission Like Staff (CNLP 020 With Frank Bealer)

6 Very Avoidable Reasons You’re Losing High Capacity Volunteers

For further resources, access the free archive of thought-provoking, practical interviews with today’s top church leaders on The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast.