How to Be a Jerk Instead of a Leader

So you lead. You’re in charge…at least you’re in charge of something or hope to be one day.

But how do you know you’re leading effectively…and that you’re not, well, a jerk?

I mean we’ve all been around leaders who have been extremely difficult to be around.

Think about how badly leaders are often viewed.

Over the years, boss has even become a bad word. If you’re a pushy kid, you get labeled as bossy and people stay away. Hollywood simply needs to put the word “horrible” in front of the word “bosses” in a movie title and everyone smiles because they can relate. Who hasn’t had a horrible boss?

And yet, sometimes there’s a fine line between being an effective leader and being a jerk. The strength required to be a leader can sometimes push you up against the hard edges of your personality.

And when you reach that point you fail. You not only destroy others, you ultimately destroy yourself.

So how do you end up being a jerk instead of being a leader?

Here’s a ten step guide.


Why Easter Doesn’t Often Connect with Unchurched People (And How to Change That)

Chances are there will be far more people in your church this weekend than normal.

And chances are a good number of them normally don’t go to church.

What’s so sad is that many unchurched people will walk away from the most powerful story ever told unchanged, unaffected, and they won’t be back (until next year…maybe).


That’s a great question, and the good news is once you know why, you can do something about it.


Yes It’s Spiritual, But It’s Also Practical

You could say that the reason unchurched people leave holidays like Christmas, Easter and Good Friday largely unchanged is because God hasn’t opened their hearts. Or that they’re just closed. Or that it’s all up to God anyway. And there might be some truth in that.

But the reality is that some churches will be more effective at retaining unchurched people because they’ve figured out what the greatest challenge with major Christian holidays is.

It’s familiarity.

Unchurched people know the Easter (and Christmas and Good Friday) story. They just don’t care. 


3 Things Unchurched People Think

While I don’t think you can poll peoples’ thought patterns, I think you can pick up on them. If I had to guess what unchurched people are thinking when they walk into the room on a major Christian holiday, here’s my guess. Here are three thought patterns I think I’ve met over and over again in the people I’ve talked to:


7 Ways Communicators Kill Their Messages (And How to Avoid The Traps)

If you’ve ever spoken in front a group, tried to motivate a team, or if you prepare messages almost every week like many of us do, you’ve probably wondered what makes for a great talk.

In fact, you’ve probably asked questions like these:

What’s the difference between a talk that flops and a talk that people still buzz about years later?

What’s the difference between a merely good message and incredibly great message?

What’s the difference between a sermon that changes someone’s life and one that no one can remember even as they drive out of the parking lot?

If you’re like me, those questions might even bother you.

I hope they do. They haunt me.

And yet every week gifted communicators kill the messages they bring by making at least 7 predictable, fixable mistakes.

The good news is that once you identify the mistakes, though, you can address them.


 7 Ways Communicators Kill Their Messages

I’m writing from the perspective of a Christian who speaks. And as I wrote about here, I realize that the Holy Spirit is involved in a special way when we speak. He redeems terrible talks and converts people through his power, not our persuasive words. I get that.

But that shouldn’t be your fall back week after week.

The Holy Spirit’s work is not an excuse for laziness. It’s also no excuse for failing to develop a skill set that supports your gifting.

So if you’re at all interested in honing your gift set, identify and then address the 7 mistakes communicators make that almost always kill a message:


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