Why Christians Should Stop Saying “Prayer Works” (And 2 Other Things)

One reason people stay away from Christianity is not because they don’t know any Christians.

It’s often because they do.

Our actions and our words as followers of Jesus have the power to attract or repel people from Christianity.

The number of people who never go to church or follow Jesus keeps growing. And their thinking keeps changing.

So what can we do about it?

Well, in addition to modeling humility, grace, truth, love and so many other things that describe the earliest Christ-followers, we Christians can watch our words.

This post was originally inspired by a piece by Scott Dannemiller wrote, in which Dannemiller urged Christians to stop saying “feeling blessed” whenever something good came their way. He makes a thoughtful, insightful argument around that.

In that vein, here are three other things Christians should really stop saying.

prayer works

1. Prayer works

Should we really stop saying that prayer works?

Well, yes and no.

Most people who say prayer works these days really mean God did what I wanted him to do. As if prayer was a button to be pushed to release exactly what they wanted from the vending machine.

Prayer is not a button to be pushed; it’s a relationship to be pursued.

Prayer does ‘work,’ but it works very differently than we’d like. It still ‘works’:

When we can’t trace out any direct result from our prayer.

When the opposite of what we prayed for happens.

In those moments when we feel very distant from God.

When we bang down the door of heaven for years and are not sure anything is going on up there at all.

There are scores of people inside and outside the church whose spirits are crushed because they prayed (fervently) and:

They didn’t get the job.

Their mom died of cancer.

Their child was born without a heartbeat.

They ended up in a car crash that left them permanently disabled.

Prayer doesn’t ‘work’ because I got what I wanted and they didn’t.

The parade of saints across the centuries would have been shocked to see prayer reduced to God-doing-what-I-asked-him-to-do-when-I-asked-him-to-do-it. God is not a puppy to be trained or a chef in the kitchen who prepares food to suit our every whim. He is sovereign.

As Richard Foster says:

For those explorers in the frontiers of faith, prayer was no little habit tacked on to the periphery of their lives; it was their lives. It was the most serious work of their most productive years. Prayer—nothing draws us closer to the heart of God.

Do things happen supernaturally when we pray? Well, yes they do. But often in ways we cannot understand or even trace out.

I think Christians can take consolation in the fact that when we pray, we often don’t know what to pray for or even how to pray, yet the scriptures tell us the Holy Spirit will translate the prayer into something better than we could phrase in the moment.

So pour your heart out to God. Pray about the things the scripture says are close to God’s heart. And when something ‘goes your way,’ be grateful and offer it back to the God who gave it to you.

And when things don’t go your way, understand that God is still very much in control and very much loves you. Just because God is silent doesn’t mean God is absent.

2. God told me to …

Often, you hear people (and pastors) say things that start with, “God told me to … .”

The longer I follow Jesus, the more hesitant I am to say God told me to do anything specific. Maybe that’s an issue I need to work on, but it springs from my observation that I’ve seen this misused far more than I’ve seen it used well or authentically.

In fact, I’ve often noticed that the more outrageous the claim, the more likely someone is to say, “God told me to … .”

When I hear someone claim God told them to do something, I feel like saying:

God told you to do that? Really? God himself spoke directly to you and told you to specifically build that building for which you have zero money? Or leave that church that you were in deep conflict with without resolving things? Or buy that house that’s way out of your price range? Wow!

Are you sure it wasn’t the pizza? Or the voice in your head that often tells you to do the things you simply feel like doing?

For the record, I believe there are times when God does speak to people today. But let’s be realistic. What made me put this phrase on the list is the number of times I have heard the phrase used to describe a decision that is:

Selfishly motivated (come on, admit it … you’re justifying your impulses).

Contrary to scripture (the scriptures pretty clearly suggest that what you’re doing is sinful … or at least isn’t wise).

Designed to shut down debate (does anyone really think they can win a “God told me” debate?).

I’m not saying God never tells us anything directly, but I am suggesting it happens far less than most of us claim.

So what’s a better course?

Say something like, “Based on what I know from scripture, I believe this is the best/boldest/wisest course of action.”

That makes sense. And then you can have an intelligent discussion.

And you don’t pull the God card to justify something about which Christians and others can have a legitimate discussion.

Or, if you’re just trying to shut down debate, just be honest. I wanted to do it, so I did it. There. Now you said it and everyone will feel better.

If you’re dead honest, you might even realize you made a crazy decision.

3. I could really feel God’s presence

You’ve heard this before. We live in an emotional age and we’ve arrived at a place where many of us feel like we’ve become mini-authorities on when God is present and when God is not.

But analyze that.

The truth is, we tend to feel God’s presence more:

When the band played our favourite song.

When the band played five of our favourite songs in a row.

When the room was packed.

When the decision went our way.

When we felt happy during our quiet time.

Is God only present when we feel him?

Or better yet, is God’s presence synonymous with our ability to detect it?

Well, of course not.

So why do we insist on speaking like it is?

Nowhere did God promise that the Holy Spirit is a feeling or an emotion.

Jesus did explain to us that the Spirit is a Person and moves freely. The Holy Spirit is bigger than our emotions and not subject to our editorial commentary about whether he is present or not.

I have had moments when I believe I felt the presence of God palpably.

But God is just as present:

On our worst days as he is on our best days.

When we are uncomfortable as when we are comfortable.

When we are hurting as when we are healing.

And sometimes … the room was just full, and the band was just really good.

We need to learn to trust in God’s presence especially in those moments we suspect he’s absent.

What if?

What if Christians started having more intelligent, less consumer-oriented, deeper conversations with people?

What if our relationship with Christ was grounded more deeply in God’s character and less in the constantly shifting circumstances we see around us?

I’m thinking the dialogue inside and outside the church would be so much healthier for it.

What do you think?

Any other things Christians should stop saying now? Scroll down and leave a comment!

Why Christians Should Stop Saying “Prayer Works” (And 2 Other Things)


  1. Jeremy Madsen on September 24, 2021 at 7:30 am

    Thank you for the excellent post! It gave me some great things to reflect about how I talk about my spirituality and religious experiences around others. You have an engaging and vivid writing style and clear examples that make your arguments clear and memorable. And more importantly, you write with common sense and truth!

  2. Guest on September 20, 2021 at 6:08 am

    God never gave a good single man like me a good wife and family to share my life with. So why bother.

  3. DAVID ALAN JONES RIDGE on August 15, 2021 at 2:42 pm

    Concerning the issue about “Prayer Works”:
    God has three answers to prayer:
    1. YES,
    2. NO,
    3. WAITE.
    One of the reasons That some turn to Atheism is that they were demanding a yes answer, for a loved one to remain alive or be healed of a terminal disease, when God said No, they got bitter and resentful even hating GOD, therefore turning on Him, and become an atheistic evangelists.
    And, the waiting answer, is the worst for we are impatient, that we cannot or refuse to endure as God acts on His time schedule and in his own way. There is that sense of timing involves as, if, or when a prayer is answered by Him, on His dime, not ours.

    James 1:5 is also misquoted. The context of that passage is dealing not with of having the insight of who to marry, what house or car to purchase or other such materialistic or perishable things. The context of the passage is dealing with the issues of trials or testings that we maybe subjected to in life. Still as part of the waiting issue, He promises to assist and/or give us the reasons for why He put us through those times on His timing not ours.

    • Sage on August 17, 2021 at 9:25 pm

      Waite? Wait

    • Oscar on August 23, 2021 at 9:20 pm

      “Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops. My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”
      ‭‭James‬ ‭5:13-20‬ ‭NIV‬‬

      • Jeff Lowell Hunt on August 29, 2021 at 12:20 pm

        I’m not sure if yes has ever been an answer to prayer. I believe it’s either No or wait and over time it will get better. Not to be discouraged., but I’ve noticed everything takes time. Yes we are impatient as humans. I’ve only seen a couple of times in life at 59 that things were vastly good. I’m thankful for those two times. The other uncountable times were always a matter of lengthy time before change for the better took place. Why I dont know. Is it lack of faith. No. It’s just always worked that way. I believe god exist but everything is only done in time frame.

  4. Rebecca on July 17, 2021 at 9:36 am

    I do indeed have a personal relationship with God, closer than a brother. I make no bones about it. I don’t apologize for it but don’t think I’m anyone special because of it. Anyone can have what I have.

    As far as “God told me”, scripture clearly tells us God has a voice and speaks to us. Not audibly, if course, but through his word. Every day I hear Gods speak directly into my life. His speaks through our own thoughts as long as we are listening and what we hear agrees with what his word teaches.

    I agree that “should” is not a good word. For most people, it conveys a lot of parental junk. I liked your post because it created dialogue and that’s always a good thing.

    God bless you as you grow in Christ.

    • kristin on September 11, 2021 at 7:45 am

      I’m glad for your kind response as i’m up to here with this guy. Carey needs to be cancelled from the internet. He’s always going out of his way to offend other believers.

    • Jj on September 26, 2021 at 9:21 am

      Rebecca I enjoyed hearing what you had to say. You did a good job. Thank you.

  5. Kristin on July 16, 2021 at 7:58 am

    First, I’m in web design and you need to fix your scroll button as I didn’t want to read the comments of all these miserable people. This isn’t the first time you’ve showed up on Google unfortunately negativity breeds and multiplies so you’re all over the place. I wasn’t looking for advice but you’re always saying “you should” with some nasty, overanalytical statement behind it and then you spew negativity everywhere about things that were supposed to be lovely in the Lord. You literally CRAP all over nice things with whatever the devil fed you that day then miserable people who follow you share it. Don’t ever say, “You should” again. You have no right to tell others what they should do. I think the internet should cancel you. You do not love God, people, or yourself. You’re a self-righteous and miserable person without any good solutions. All Jesus said was love, not pick EVERYTHING apart and spew it all over the internet and the things you come up with! I would hate to be your therapist. Do everyone a favor and get off the internet. I worship God alone bc if I had to be with you miserable people at church I’d lose it. You’re the reason people leave church. I never left God. I just can’t deal with you anymore.

    • Morgan on July 19, 2021 at 11:47 pm


    • Elissa Vargas on July 22, 2021 at 1:33 pm

      This is so sad man will always let us down. So are you ther for man or for God? This excuse needs to stop leaving the church because of people please stop! When you love God your obedient to Him. For those of the world does someone at a club leave because they got attitude or a look no!!! But when it comes to God and church oh theres so much hurt. It’s time to grow up and realize who the real enemy is! This all needs to stop. I’m a Christian because I love God and serve Him and Him alone! I love being at church regardless of attitudes that’s everywhere but am I gonna stop going no way! Its comes down to rated to be somewhere else other than church. People have found excuses instead of being a fault finder yourself be a vault finder. Look through God’s eyes not yours. Open your heart and so that God can open your eyes. Its simple stop making it complicated you either Love God or you dont. You serve Him or you dont choose for yourself this day whom you will serve. But dont say you love or serve God but dont keep His commandments.

    • Mary on July 26, 2021 at 8:23 am

      Wow, where is your love? Where is your grace? You are very judgmental in saying “you do not love God, people or yourself.” May the Lord soften your heart.

  6. James Holmes on May 18, 2021 at 4:37 am

    One issue that has infested Christianity for quite a while is a false claim, the claim that people can have a “personal relationship” with God or Jesus. Frankly, the meaning of that two word phrase has to be contorted like some pretzel to make it conform to the reality of a God-man relationship. Jesus or God has never, not once, in all the years of my life befriended me in any way save through a storyline. My “relationship” with God is via a story whether it be written by human hands or spoken by human voice. I know God through what I have been told about Him or read about Him. While I have “observed nature” and am familiar with the book of Romans on the subject, the splendor and mystery of the universe does not a personal relationship make. I am in awe over many things that I do not have a personal friendship with and for Christians to make that claim seems rather misleading and deceiving. Such proclamations only serve to make skeptics even more skeptical. Best to be honest and just say; “I don’t know.”

    • Kenneth Gray on May 18, 2021 at 8:56 am

      Hi James,

      I can understand your point of view and frustration. I too am struggling with this same thing. I have been a Christian for decades now and have never seen, heard, or felt anything from God. All I know about God is from other people or the Bible. It appears that you need the same thing that I do. Direct interaction between you and God. That would be glorious.

      Now, I will share what has kept me going for so long. The answer is FAITH. Yes I know that isn’t what you want to hear. I know that you are looking for a way to make that happen. Yes I will assume that you are Christian, or looking to be, as your are posting here in search of answers. I can’t help you with those answers as they are privy to God.

      All I can do is have faith. Accept, even if I don’t like it, that God is good and will do whatever is best for Himself. It’s all about God after all. Keep seeking and one day, hopefully in this life time, God might actually make contact. Hang in there, don’t give up, as it is written, “we live by faith not sight. That is what I am trying to do.

      I know that this probably doesn’t help, but at least you know that you are not the only one going through the same thing. Keep up the fight. God bless you, in Jesus holy name, Amen.

    • Karen on May 24, 2021 at 6:15 pm

      But I DO have a personal relationship with Him. He actually DOES and often HAS told me things, shown me things, and asked me to do things. I know when to listen because His presence CAN be felt. Sometimes when I ask I get answers and sometimes I don’t. He has spent years teaching me who He is, and yet there is always much more I don’t know. Sometimes I want to have a four year old tantrum, but that doesn’t work with God. And it shouldn’t. Submission to the fact that He is in control and I am not usually straightens things out. If not, I can be sure it’s me that’s the problem and not Him. God is QUITE real, Jesus really DID die on the cross for us and you really CAN have a personal relationship with Him. Try asking Him to reveal Himself to you personally and He will. Perfectly.

      • Linda DiBlasi on June 15, 2021 at 8:38 am

        Hello James

        I don’t normally respond to posted comments. However, I noticed your posting after reading this article and felt touched by your statements. You cry out that Jesus not ever once befriended you in your life. Your relationship with him is like reading a story; you know the characters, the basic story line but once the book is closed your heart and life feel empty of his presence. I have no way of knowing your story James. Your life, feelings and experiences so please bear with me during my response.

        A personal relationship with anyone is developed by spending time with them. Talking with them, sharing yourself, your thoughts, getting to know them and who they are, what they think, feel, stand for and desire. A deep personal relationship with God is no different. We are told, if we draw near to Him, he will draw near to us. As a believer He is present with me everywhere I am, but if I never turn my face toward him, seek him and spend time with him then I walk without truly knowing him or having a relationship.

        You say that Jesus is a story written by human hands. Let’s ponder that statement for a moment. Have you every explored the true amazing wonder of the historical dating of the word of God we call the Bible. For example, the Dead Sea scrolls date to 408 BC. Part of the Bible I read, hold in my hands can be found on a written document dated this long ago. This is just a small piece of the historical natural of the Bible I could point out. When I reflect on when the Bible was written, I can’t help but notice the presence of God’s guidance through the centuries. Do you know of another “story”written by human hands, passed down through centuries, dating as far back with original copy? Yes, there are many splendors and wonders in life, and they within themselves they do not make a personal relationship. However, they do speak to us of God’s nature, his power, his grace and at times his mercy.

        If you do not devote a moment of your day, quietly spending it with him then I implore you to try. Start by praising Him. You may not feel like praising him for anything, so just find one thing you can thank him for on this day. Even if that one thing is the simple fact you are here, with breath in your lungs and the feel of the ground under your feet. Pray (talk to him), tell Jesus you long to know him and anything else you long to say. Read the Bible daily so you can start to know him; ponder what you read, ask questions, learn his character. The scriptures are spirit filled, start with John, then go from there. Seek him with all your heart.

        • Marvin on June 18, 2021 at 7:39 am

          If there were a like button, I would have clicked it here.

          • Rebecca on July 17, 2021 at 9:42 am

            Sorry for all the typos. I really can spell.

          • Emma115 on September 11, 2021 at 1:57 pm

            Same here!!! What a great response to give, because the above poster Kristen, in my mind has also made some strong points she echoes my frustration. But of course there is always freedom of expression. Whether we agree with it or not. So knowing that I don’t agree with any one point that was made in this article, tells me not to waste any more energy on this. I just need to focus on my much needed spiritual growth cause the good Lord knows I need to. And YES, PRAYER WORKS. And YES, sometimes the answer is not always a yes or an immediate yes.

        • Gail Crouch on July 11, 2021 at 6:52 am

          Hi Linda!
          What a beautiful response you have given and wonderful instructions on how to have a nice relationship with God. I’m sure people have other ideas on this, but I do like your thoughts and ideas.
          Oh, and yes, I feel like I have a personal relationship with God, because I do spend time with him every day, just talking to him. I so love to pray!
          I also love to read scripture and study.
          Thank you for your teaching and I will pass it on, with love, to people seeking a personal relationship with God.
          Gail Liberty

        • Tracie on July 26, 2021 at 11:10 am

          Very well said, Linda and true for me. The more I study and truly learn what the Bible is saying and the more time I spend thanking Him with sincere gratitude the more I know Him.
          He already knows me fully and each of us because He created us and He really does see us.
          The relationship we build with Christ takes many years of learning of and from Him.
          There is a hymn “What A Friend We Have in Jesus” that expresses this so well.
          Jesus died for me so that when I repented of my sin and turned from my sinful ways towards Him with a willingness to let him teach me I found I had a true friend in Him. He does love us so much He suffered and died for us. If we reject Him that is our choice.

      • Debra on June 16, 2021 at 5:47 pm

        This is true, it is hard to hear him with all the noise in the world and in our lives. We have to be still and listen. Turning everything off. Stop listen to people. Listen to God’s Word. If you ask of him, you will receive. He never fails us, it is us that fails us.

      • Peter on June 23, 2021 at 4:30 pm

        Karen, what you’re describing is a schizoid delusion.

        • Karen on June 26, 2021 at 10:47 am

          You poor thing.

        • Miranda on July 4, 2021 at 7:51 am

          All these thoughtful people reaching out with respect and compassion to each other here over months of kind and generous sharing of thoughts.

          And then this comment.

          I’m sure we all thought, “I’ll pray for him,” anyway.

          We’ll see what God does with that.

      • Pastor Jeanette Auteri on July 15, 2021 at 3:24 pm

        Whether it was God or a ministering angel, I have felt comfort very strongly. I know the Holy
        Spirit is The comforter, and He comforts me. God, Jesus, Holy Spirt. After Jesus rose from the dead, He told his apostles he was going to leave and sit at the Father’s right side. God is not a ‘feeling’. Receiving Jesus, is not a feeling. It is accepting Him a Savior, and striving to follow His examples.
        My adult son recently died suddenly, and I felt and am still feeling their comfort. Amen.

    • JERRY L HARMON on June 24, 2021 at 11:17 pm

      One problem with your thinking on that. I DO have a relationship with my father, and I DO KNOW. I talk to him , and there are ways he lets me know he is with me, and has my very best in plan… I would hate to think i had to go thru life without a personal relationship with him

    • Jacob Hamilton on July 17, 2021 at 12:44 pm

      What Kenneth Gray said was spot on. I would like to add that maybe you need to seek more using your mind. Our heart and mind need to be open to seeking God. You may know in your heart God is with you but do you know intellectually? Christian Apologetics has really been a huge part in solidifying my trust in God and because of my trust, I have seen how he is working in my life. I recommend you go on YouTube and search up the channel, “Cross Examined”. Frank Turek has a ton of great intellectual reasons on God’s existence. When you actively seek God and who and why and how he is the one, you thirst for knowledge for more knowledge and I believe the more you know about him, the more you can see him. Some people may deny this, but that’s all they can do……deny. Science and history proves the existence of God and what he did on the cross, I have seen the mass amounts of proof with my own eyes, it’s up to your heart and will to trust in him. And always remember, God is God, yesterday, today, and forever.

  7. Kenneth Gray on February 20, 2021 at 11:16 pm

    Hello to everyone, God bless.

    I am still waiting for God to answer my prayers. I have been running into the argument that God is like a good parent that won’t give the child everything they ask for, because it could hurt the child.

    I can relate to the parent not giving bad things. The parent does give the child some of what they asked for though. If the parent doesn’t give the child anything, that is neglect. So why doesn’t anyone talk about that part? The part where God doesn’t answer prayers that are good for us. To explain: You pray for the means to do God’s will (work) and glorify Him. Helping people in God’s name. As far as I can tell that would be considered as in God’s will according to the Bible. That leads to the question: Why doesn’t God answer prayers for things that are good, like the above example? Why is God neglecting us? He doesn’t give the good or bad things we ask for.

    Not trying to discourage anyone or offend anyone, just looking for the reason why no one talks about the side where the parent does give the child something good. To clarify, I am not including things that God gives to everyone, just personal requests from God.
    Thanks and may God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen

    • Losing Hope on March 17, 2021 at 1:20 pm

      I have been asking for answers to this question as well. And this is part of what I cry out to God. In order to have hope I need to hear something. But when I have prayed for years and I don’t hear anything from God, then I don’t know whether to keep praying or to just leave it alone. if a child asks for things and a parent just ignores them and never responds, the child will become discouraged and despondent because their parent never speaks to them. Or if The parent always says no, then the child will eventually stop asking because they already know the answer is going to be no. I have prayed and really believed, because people kept saying believe that God can do the impossible, and years later prayer was never answered and I feel like I wasted my time crying and praying for something that God never intended to do. So how are you supposed to know where to go from there? I know God is not there to just give us everything that we want, and I don’t expect him to. But there are some things like this that I just don’t understand.

      • Where is hope? on May 3, 2021 at 1:58 pm

        I feel the same way and have had the same questions and thoughts.

      • Julie Cowen on May 7, 2021 at 6:25 am

        I read your comment and had to try to answer to give you maybe a different perspective. I read somewhere that more than asking God into our hearts, we are stepping into his life. Have you really done that? You may have but if you really have I don’t think you would be asking this. Stepping into his life to me is to allow Him to take me over. That I will transform to be more like Him. That I will give comfort and hope to others that there is a God who loves them. that is there with them. Yes, sometimes I feel like I am praying to nothing, but that is when I read the Bible and let Him speak to me through His word. He will answer me there. “Love God, and love others”, “Go and make disciples”. With God I can do this. That is the big answer to prayer. “He is with us always” . I just follow and pray he opens doors for me to love others through Him. That prayer is always answered. Always.

      • Jacob Hamilton on July 17, 2021 at 12:57 pm

        I copied and pasted this from one of my other responses but I feel you need to be notified of these truths. I went through a big dry spell as well but I’m more in the faith now then I could have ever imagined. Think of Life as a flatland with a cliff on one side. Let’s say the cliff has a zipline reaching the bottom. The closer you get to the cliff the scarier it gets but once you hook onto the zip line you have to just push off no matter how scared you are. If you were to close your eyes out of fear, would you still be on the zip line? In other words you might not see how God is saving you but that doesn’t mean he isn’t.

        “I would like to say that maybe you need to seek more using your mind. Our heart and mind need to be open to seeking God. You may know in your heart God is with you but do you know intellectually? Christian Apologetics has really been a huge part in solidifying my trust in God and because of my trust, I have seen how he is working in my life. I recommend you go on YouTube and search up the channel, “Cross Examined”. Frank Turek has a ton of great intellectual reasons on God’s existence. When you actively seek God and who and why and how he is the one, you thirst for knowledge for more knowledge and I believe the more you know about him, the more you can see him. Some people may deny this, but that’s all they can do……deny. Science and history proves the existence of God and what he did on the cross, I have seen the mass amounts of proof with my own eyes, it’s up to your heart and will to trust in him. And always remember, God is God, yesterday, today, and forever.”

      • Tracie on July 26, 2021 at 11:35 am

        I have prayed for certain people to come to know Christ for 10 or 30 years and some those persons haven’t chosen to come to Christ yet and may never choose salvation. It isn’t that God isn’t answering my prayer, He wants everyone to receive Him. Perhaps, it is that certain things are required of eac of us as human beings and God will not force us against our will, so that can look like a no answer to a prayer.
        I was born with a progressive crippling condition and I have asked God for healing and he has said no, not yet and I know that that is what he has told me after many years of Prayer. You see He has already planned my resurrection and my perfect body but it isn’t time for me to have that yet. But Jesus Christ is with me and I have grown so much through accepting this and understanding that God isn’t going to fix this world the way we would want it now. Let’s say for example a person is praying for their alcoholic abusive husband to quit drinking and to stop abusing them to come to Christ. Perhaps God is showing you that that person is fully rejecting Christ and you should get away from that person and let God be in control. Perhaps your child has rejected God and going off on their own and is living in sin and you want them to get saved. Well just persevere in prayer and let God do the work and do not harass your child let your child ask you questions if they want to an answer them with love. We don’t see time the same way that God sees time.
        God is not Santa Claus to give us all the good gifts that we want just because we ask him. We sin against God when we don’t trust in His ways, when we deny or reject the truth. He didn’t cause what is wrong with this world but He allows us free choice. Our illnesses and trials can be useful to show others how much we need God because without Him we make a mess of things.
        If everything was perfect and every person just came to Christ against their will, would we even need Him? Look how much we as a society have rejected Him in our selfish foolish ways but one day soon He is coming for the true faithful church, for those who have persevered and remained faithful to him and then we will have our new heavenly bodies and we will have full fellowship with Him and the other true Christians (believers and Christ followers) who have gone before us.
        Persevere for this time is very short compared to eternity.Just hang in there and keep believing learn from him study his word be in conversation with him everyday

    • Nellie on March 21, 2021 at 11:37 pm

      God doesn’t give us everything that we ask for that we feel is good for many reasons. Maybe there is something better coming. Maybe he is teaching us patience. Maybe you already have all the absolutely necessary things to accomplish the thing we want to do but don’t realize it because we are too focused on what WE think we need. Maybe what we want to do is better done by someone else. Maybe it is just not His will to either not say yes now as he can see a far larger picture of things than we can. There can be so many reasons. Oh, God answers EVERY time but the answer can be yes, no or later.

      • Where is hope? on May 3, 2021 at 2:04 pm

        I think that’s something else Christian’s shouldn’t say: Maybe it’s not God’s will. How can you respond to that and it crushes people. No one knows the will of God so to even mention it is off point.

        • Tracie on July 26, 2021 at 11:55 am

          It is God’s will for every person to come to Salvation And it is God’s will for every sick person to be healed but the answer no, could be God saying not yet. When a person dies that we ask God to let live he is not saying no He is reminding us and saying He sees what we don’t.
          If you have faith in Jesus Christ if your eight-year-old child dies in an accident then you know that that child is with Jesus in Heaven and we will see them one day soon.
          It is really all about how much we trust God or not.
          Jesus suffered pain and agony, death and Hell and He is grieving over our pain. Because we have hearts or minds full of sin God knew we would not trust Him like we should. This is the time we had better surrender our will to Him and trust for He is coming for the faithful very soon. Those who continue to deny Christ will experience Hell, darkness and being alone through eternity. Today is the day to accept Jesus as Savior and make Him Lord.
          We brought the sin and illness into this world with our lack of faith and trust in God

    • Kenneth Gray on May 13, 2021 at 1:04 pm

      I don’t know either. From someone who has never had a prayer answered, you have my sympathy. I know what it is to be ignored by God. Everyone keeps telling me, just wait for God’s perfect timing. That doesn’t help when you need something now.

      God bless you Anet, in Jesus name, Amen.

      P.S. I know it’s hard but don’t give up.

      • Tracie on July 26, 2021 at 12:03 pm

        Kenneth are you a born-again Christian? If you are how can you say that God has never answered your prayer? When we in sincerity ask Jesus to forgive our sin He does this and he never sees our sin again that is an answer to prayer. From that moment on we have eternal life and the promise of seeing God, walking with Him in the New Heavens and the new Earth. I know when I was saved God created in me a new heart and gave me a new awareness, opened my eyes to new understanding and a thirst for knowledge. Yhis new ability to learn more and more of the world and of Him is miraculous and I have had to put that ability to work and I read and study.
        This gives me a new outlook on life. My body is in terrible shape and I live with pain but my mind has been renewed and I now understand the Glory of God in my kimited capacity.
        There is a book called Heaven by Randy Alcorn that you might want to read it is excellent and will give you much hope.

        • Ken Gray on July 27, 2021 at 6:46 pm

          Hi Tracie,

          You say that Jesus forgiving sins is an answer to prayer. Who’s? I have never prayed for forgiveness of my sins. That comes automatically when you accept Jesus as Lord and Savior. I ask God to forgive my sins, that doesn’t mean I get an answer. Nothing but silence. If God has answered any of my prayers, I haven’t noticed anything that could be an answer. Everyone says that God has three answers to prayer, yes, no, and wait. I have never heard any of the three, just silence.

          God bless you, in Jesus holy name, Amen.

    • Ugba Hezron on June 10, 2021 at 9:19 am

      God is God
      He sit in higher position and does as HE wishes

      • Kenneth Gray on June 13, 2021 at 12:50 pm

        I was trying to implore people to stop using this analogy. This was an attempt to show that looking at God through the eyes of a parent. There is more to parenting than not giving bad things. Parents also give good things to their kids. Basically, I was saying that God doesn’t even give good things, so that would make Him (God) a neglectful parent.

        You are right that God is above us.

  8. Joy O. on December 9, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    I wasn’t going to mention the friend to future husband part, but the Holy Spirit led me to reveal this to you. The person who God created for you will see something within you that you cannot see yourself. That’s another thing to pray about. Ask God to bring your helper into your life.


    Okay, I really must go to sleep now.


    I’m a girl from the US who God introduced a guy from the UK to via a random non-dating app. For 3 + years we chatting online. Never met, until recently when God told me it was time to travel to meet him. God told me to prepare for marriage. Not the guy, God. And I did.

    And guess what? I’m getting married. I came with everything I needed to get married. God speaks. God directs.

    The year I met him, I asked God in a New Year prayer request that although I wasn’t ready for marriage, I would like to meet my God-ordained spouse that year. We met online in November of that same year. Online! 4000 miles apart.

    So, please take heed to all the advice that I’ve given you. It’s life-transforming.

    • Pam Lattin on February 1, 2021 at 2:44 pm

      How fabulous

    • Losing Hope on March 17, 2021 at 1:23 pm

      I don’t mean any disrespect but what life transforming advice have you given? Asking God for a “helper” does not mean that God is going to give it to you. It’s great that things worked out so perfectly for you. But that does not mean that everybody who asks for a partner in life is going to get one.

    • Where is hope? on May 3, 2021 at 2:06 pm

      I’ve asked God for a lot of things and they haven’t been so ended with the bow. Does that mean I asked God wrong?

  9. Kenneth Gray on December 9, 2020 at 4:52 pm

    It would make me sad, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t keep trying. I d talk to my child, not ignore him/her. God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen

    • Joy O. on December 9, 2020 at 9:31 pm

      Asl God to remove all bitterness you have towards his silence. Ask him in Jesus’ name to remove all traces of it. All traces of hurt and anger that you have. Bind it by the blood of Jesus and cast it out of you.
      Life and death is in the tongue. Bind what you hate and want to get rid of and loose what you love and want.

      Matthew 18:18 – Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

      Proverbs 18:21- Good News Translation
      What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words.

      Philippians 4:8-9 ESV
      Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

      2 Corinthians 10:4-7
      For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.

      Look at what is before your eyes. If anyone is confident that he is Christ’s, let him remind himself that just as he is Christ’s, so also are we.


      Everything that you have mentioned that you are struggling with, find a corresponding verse to counteract satan with. This is a fight against rulers of the dark world. What I have observed today in the things you have mentioned to me is darkness trying to steal your joy. This has nothing to do with God speaking to you or not. This is about first casting out all influence of evil in your life. Don’t allow satan, the punk, to control your mind with negativity.

      I know some ppl may get offended by what I’m saying, but I have experience with this. You remind me a lot of the person who I previously mentioned, the “fake” letter guy. And come to find out, he was being tormented my a demon. God revealed it to me. At first when I saw it through God’s gift of discernment, it was terrified. I had never seen evil looking back at me. But gradually, I stopped being scared of evil and evil started fleeing from me. I prayed and fasted. It took a long time, but I never stopped praying for this friends deliverance, salvation and healing, and I can say that prayer works. Christ freed him from the grip of satan. His no longer thinks negatively. He is no longer addicted to drugs, cigarettes, pornography, fornication, homosexuality. All chains of bondage have been broken. This person hated his life. He hated himself! God told me to help him. Pray for a stranger who I met online. A stranger who I fell in love with and didn’t understand why I loved him. God showed me his true identity. He was demonized his entire life. Suicidal. Awful upbringing. But God brought me into his life to intercede for him. God me details about his life that no one else knew. He was shocked as to how I knew these things. He admitted we were soul mates, but he still pushed me away. He thought I was too good for him. He knew he wasn’t “right” and did everything to push me away. It was a demon. Tormented his whole life.

      Today, I can say that he’s completely healed! Who the Son sets free is free indeed. We are getting married soon. God led me to him online and now God led me to him in real life. I never gave up on him because God wouldn’t let me. Now he’s a new creation in Christ. 100000000% a different person. That hate he once had towards his life and bitterness is completely gone. He used to think he was ugly and undeserving of love, and he pushed me away. Look now, we are so happy and so in love. And any day now, we’ll be husband and wife.

      Prayer works!

      • Kenneth Gray on December 9, 2020 at 9:49 pm

        Congratulations. I have prayed to God for help with all of this. So far no help from God. I have prayed for God to remove everything negative from me and this life. 40 years and still waiting for God to render help in some manner. Thanks again and God Bless You, in Jesus name ,Amen

        P.S. – I am a slow reader can’t read more than a couple of chapters at a time. Genesis took two months.

        Good? Night

        • Joy O. on December 9, 2020 at 9:56 pm

          Slow reader? That’s why the audio is perfect to read along with.

          – YouVersion Bible App.
          – Bible in 90 days plan
          – NLT audio in 2x speed.

          Thank me later. 😁😁😁

          Good night.

          • Maureen on January 4, 2021 at 2:31 am

            Whenever I pray things get more worse,relationships break,accidents happens…I feel like ending my life.I feel like am the big sinner that God can’t forgive my sins.these night I have prayed with psalms 55.Am total drained up in prayers because am working on a divorce, and every time these man likes to send money for his child on my account. But every time he send money,its either the child will fall and loose the teeth, or I will fall sick, or my parents will be involved in road accidents and ending up loosing double of what he send me.Before he send the money, I will dream a man trying to assist me,then in the morning I will find money on my account. But before I realise something bad will happen to me,the child, or my family. Plz I need total deliverance. I tried a nother relationship,the man fall sick almost dying and that was the end of us.Plz I need prayers.
            God bless am siz

        • Joy O. on December 17, 2020 at 12:07 am

          youtu.be/ YA8k8mX-Enw

      • Losing Hope on March 17, 2021 at 1:32 pm

        You say “Prayer works” because you got what you wanted. God did what you wanted him to do. So what do you say to the people who did not get what they wanted, to those who prayed and fasted and asked for God to move and do something in their relationship or in their lives and nothing worked out for them? There was an article on this very site that mentioned that Christians should really stop saying “prayer works“ – I Encourage you to look it up and read it if you have not already. because what you’re really saying is that you prayed for something and God did what you asked. But that is not the case for everyone and it causes people to lose hope when everyone else keeps saying “i prayed for this and God did it so therefore Prayer works!” but for someone like me who prayed fervently for God to do something for me that he did not do and obviously never intended to do in spite of my years of prayers, are left feeling heartbroken and confused. Making blanket statements like “prayer works” invites the false hope that just because your situation worked out beautifully for you, that everyone should believe that things will be the same for them, and that is simply not the truth. God has not promised he’s going to give us the result we are looking for.

        • Carol on March 28, 2021 at 3:30 pm

          I posted a link on hope that might not work try this discoveryseries.org/Q0733

          The above is a wonderful article on hope. It greatly encouraged me when I was discouraged as I have been praying for over 23 years for a wayward son. I have no guarantee that God will answer my prayers the way I want but I know that He is a good, faithful and caring Heavenly Father. Jesus’ entrusted himself to the Father and Jesus is our example see 1 Peter 2:23.
          When our prayers aren’t answered on our timetable or our liking in a sense we are suffering and scripture clearly teaches that we are sometimes called to suffer and when we are then we are to keep trusting God.

      • Tracie on July 26, 2021 at 12:39 pm

        You got a yes
        Sometimes the answer is wai, you’re not ready or no. God knows what we need.
        The desire of our heart should be for others to come to repent and know Jesus Christ.
        We should be about the work of spreading the Good News of salvation <3

    • Joy O. on December 9, 2020 at 9:53 pm

      Ask God to remove all bitterness you have towards his silence. Ask him in Jesus’ name to remove all traces of it. All traces of hurt and anger that you have. Bind it by the blood of Jesus and cast it out of you.
      Life and death is in the tongue. Bind what you hate and want to get rid of and loose what you love and want.

      Matthew 18:18 – Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

      Proverbs 18:21- Good News Translation
      What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words.

      Philippians 4:8-9 ESV
      Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

      2 Corinthians 10:4-7
      For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.

      Look at what is before your eyes. If anyone is confident that he is Christ’s, let him remind himself that just as he is Christ’s, so also are we.


      Everything that you have mentioned that you are struggling with, find a corresponding verse to counteract satan with. This is a fight against rulers of the dark world. What I have observed today in the things you have mentioned to me is darkness trying to steal your joy. This has nothing to do with God speaking to you or not. This is about first casting out all influence of evil in your life. Don’t allow satan, the punk, to control your mind with negativity.

      I know some ppl may get offended by what I’m saying, but I have experience with this. You remind me a lot of the person who I previously mentioned, the “fake” letter guy. And come to find out, he was being tormented my a demon. God revealed it to me. At first when I saw it through God’s gift of discernment, it was terrified. I had never seen evil looking back at me. But gradually, I stopped being scared of evil and evil started fleeing from me. I prayed and fasted. It took a long time, but I never stopped praying for this friends deliverance, salvation and healing, and I can say that prayer works. Christ freed him from the grip of satan. His no longer thinks negatively. He is no longer addicted to drugs, cigarettes, pornography, fornication, homosexuality. All chains of bondage have been broken. This person hated his life. He hated himself! God told me to help him. Pray for a stranger who I met online. A stranger who I fell in love with and didn’t understand why I loved him. God showed me his true identity. He was demonized his entire life. Suicidal. Awful upbringing. But God brought me into his life to intercede for him. God me details about his life that no one else knew. He was shocked as to how I knew these things. He admitted we were soul mates, but he still pushed me away. He thought I was too good for him. He knew he wasn’t “right” and did everything to push me away. It was a demon. Tormented his whole life.

      Today, I can say that he’s completely healed! Who the Son sets free is free indeed. We are getting married soon. God led me to him online and now God led me to him in real life. I never gave up on him because God wouldn’t let me. Now he’s a new creation in Christ. 100000000% a different person. That hate he once had towards his life and bitterness is completely gone. He used to think he was ugly and undeserving of love, and he pushed me away. Look now, we are so happy and so in love. And any day now, we’ll be husband and wife.

      Prayer works!

      I wasn’t going to mention the friend to future husband part, but the Holy Spirit led me to reveal this to you. The person who God created for you will see something within you that you cannot see yourself. That’s another thing to pray about. Ask God to bring your helper into your life.


      Okay, I really must go to sleep now.


      I’m a girl from the US who God introduced a guy from the UK to via a random non-dating app. For 3 + years we chatting online. Never met, until recently when God told me it was time to travel to meet him. God told me to prepare for marriage. Not the guy, God. And I did.

      And guess what? I’m getting married. I came with everything I needed to get married. God speaks. God directs.

      The year I met him, I asked God in a New Year prayer request that although I wasn’t ready for marriage, I would like to meet my God-ordained spouse that year. We met online in November of that same year. Online! 4000 miles apart.

      So, please take heed to all the advice that I’ve given you. It’s life-transforming.

    • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 11:26 am

      Hello Kenneth. How are you doing today? Did you try out any of my suggestions?

    • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 11:26 am

      Hello Kenneth. How are you doing today? Did you try out any of my suggestions? Correction… suggestions that the Holy Spirit led me to tell you yesterday.

      • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 11:53 am

        Morning Joy,
        I read Ephesians 6: 10 – 24. I tried to download the app, but when I got to the point where it asked for my name, it wouldn’t accept my name. Thus I wasn’t able to get it. I tried to thank God for what He has done but I don’t think just being alive is a blessing in any way. Not having anything to make life worthwhile. The constant disappointment at waking to find that my prayers haven’t been answered yet again. It is very difficult to find positivity in this depression. Yes I have prayed for healing from that, but still nothing. I suffer daily due to God’s lack of involvement in my life. So I continue to be a complete failure without hope for this life. Thanks and may God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen.

        • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 12:32 pm

          You’re in my prayers Kenneth. I’m going to speak in truth and in love, the reason you haven’t heard from God is because of your negative outlook on life. Until that changes, life never will. I’ll be praying for you. God bless you.

          Waking up is a blessing. It is enough. Soften your heart brother. How do you expect God to help you when everything about your entire existence has been hardened to all that He has done for you? It’s very hard to help someone who can’t even pinpoint one good thing in their life. It’s quite sad. For hours yesterday, I tried to help you identity the disconnect and every single positive thing I mentioned was met with negativity. It’s not from God, but the enemy. You need to fight to get your mind back. satan is holding your thoughts captive. Until you have freedom in that area of your help, you won’t truly be living. You have to diligently seek that freedom for yourself. This negativity is what is paralyzing you from experiencing the fullness of God in your life.

          You so desperately want to hear from God, I suggest you desperately take heed the words that I have spoken since yesterday.

          This kind can only come out through prayer and FASTING.

          Disconnect from the world so you can connect to God. Have you ever taken out a full day of not eating, no drinking, no phone calls, no tv, no work, no nothing? Just talking to God for 24 hours. Or silently being in his presence for 24 hours. Uninterrupted with 0 distractions.

          • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 12:52 pm

            I have done 4 days without food or water. I have spent days in quiet speaking to God. I can’t go a complete 24 hours straight without distractions as it is noisy where I live. I live in an apartment right by the front door. Always people coming and going, talking up a storm right outside my door.
            I have tried fasting even though I wasn’t taught to do so in church while growing up.
            Thanks again and God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen.

        • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 12:49 pm

          In a day, how often do you pray? Do you listen to worship music? If the app didn’t work, YouTube has tons of Bible audio online. Take one full day out to just engulf yourself into the Word of God.

          I hear God every day. All throughout my day. I get vision of events before they happen. God tells me to pray for ppl who are sick before they even tell me of their illness.

          Again, I don’t say this to boast but I would suggest that you take the advice of someone who is highly connected to God. If this is truly what you desire.

          I took hours out of my day yesterday to message you. Not because I didn’t have anything to do. No, I had a loads. But God led me to this page yesterday to minister to you. God led me to give you examples of what has worked for me.

          Don’t you think I was sent by God to help you? Shouldn’t you give thanks for that? Do you believe God answers prayers through divine helpers and connections? Isn’t all advice I gave you part of God answering at least one your prayers in the last 40 years? How can you continue to say that God is being silent to your Prayers when he literally led me to you? Led me to write to you for hours upon hours yesterday? Everything I have spoken to you was not from my thoughts. Everything I’ve said is from the Holy Spirit.

          But you say God is being silent. Wrong. God can strategically place ppl In ones life to help them. To begin the process of healing.

          I pray that God gives you eyes to see and ears to hear.

          Instead of rejected every I’ve said, how about you take notes and do what I’ve proven works for me? This is all still part of God teaching you.

          • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 12:59 pm

            I don’t always pray everyday, but I do talk to God everyday. I am not rejecting what you say. God gave us free will, which He won’t interfere with. Thus I don’t think that God works through people in that way. It was your choice to come to this page, and your choice to text me back and forth. God bless you.

    • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 10:26 pm

      Every teacher was a student first. Become a student so that one day you’ll become a teacher. That’s purpose. Know God so you can make Him known. You must know God so you can teach others about Him. The Bible believe it or not is the Word of God. To say otherwise is blasphemy. The say otherwise would cause silence and unanswered prayers. How can one call themselves a Christian but say the Bible isn’t God? All of the Bible is God, all of God isn’t in the Bible. There are miracles and wonders of God that isn’t in the Bible. It would fill the whole world, but what is described in the Bible are actually events that took place. A lack of believe in that fundamental truth is not being “saved.”

      You can be baptized in water 300000 times, but until you are baptized in Spirit and in Truth, you’ll never have true salvation in Christ.

    • Joy O. on December 12, 2020 at 1:19 am

      youtu.be/ 2hLHmXQnIBg

  10. Joy O. on December 9, 2020 at 11:04 am

    I’m really sorry that you haven’t had any of your prayers answered. It wasn’t until I fully submitted onto the Lord that my prayers started getting answered. Evey single one. His will became my will and now all my prayers get answered. And yes, God does speak to me. Again, it happens when one is fully submitted onto him. God has given me visions and dreams of events before they even happen. God tells me to pray about specific details of a person’s life. Details they had never even told a soul and God will tell me to pray for Xxxxxx because they need prayer for xxxxx. I won’t say anything to that person, but I’ll pray. Days, weeks, months later, the person will then tell me about their specific struggle that the Lord already told me about. The Lord will tell me to call a person at the most random time of the day. No matter what, I obey. Without fail, the person will say, “Wow, I needed to talk to someone.” Or “how did you know the exact moment to call me? Because this just happened.”

    One day, I asked God to reveal to me why a specific person suddenly stopped talking to me. The next day or so, The Holy Spirit led me to write a “fake” letter to myself from the person. In the letter to myself, the person went into detail about the struggles they were going through. Drug addiction. Among others. Mind you, I didn’t know this person was an addict. After the Holy Spirit led me to write the letter, I went about my business.

    Not even a week later, the person messaged me and revealed to me verbatim everything the Holy Spirit told me in the letter about their life.

    It blew my Mind! I was in shock. That was the first time something so “Whoooaaa!” happened to me.
    Now, These things happen to me all the time. I pray that you could experience it. It’s the best feeling in the world having God communicate with you.

    Don’t even get me started on the leading and guidance like GPS. By no means am I saying these things to boast. I’m boasting about the greatness of God and I want you to have the same relationship with Him.

    • Kenneth Gray on December 9, 2020 at 1:00 pm

      Hi Joy,
      I am one of those people who have never had a prayer answered. I so desperately need a connection to God like you described, direct and daily. I gave myself to God through Jesus 40 years ago and have only ever received silence from God. I have prayed for God to make his will know so that I may do it, nothing. I have prayed for the means to do God’s will here on earth, nothing. I have had a dream to help homeless people get off the street, and have prayed for God to make this happen. The Bible says that God wants us to help the poor (which I am also), so I believe that my dream is within God’s will. Still nothing. I have prayed for God to reveal what He wants from me, what my purpose is, nothing. I don’t know what the problem is. All I can guess is that since I hate everything about my life and everything about myself. That I am persistent (as the Bible says to do) with prayers for the two things that would make me happy. Am I supposed to not care about myself at all? Am I supposed to forget about being happy? I have also prayed for God to show me how to be content in this miserable life, nothing. What am I doing wrong? Thanks and God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen

      • Joy O. on December 9, 2020 at 4:04 pm

        “All I can guess is that since I hate everything about my life and everything about myself.”

        “I have also prayed for God to show me how to be content in this miserable life, nothing. What am I doing wrong? ”

        Hello Brother Kenneth. Thanks for your response. I believe the disconnect between you and God lies within these 2 comments. Could you elaborate more on this so I can get a better understanding? Thank you. I really want to help you connect with God, a 2-way connection, not just 1-sided.

        • Kenneth Gray on December 9, 2020 at 4:37 pm

          Joy O,
          What I mean by hate everything about my life and myself. I hate not having purpose, I hate this infernal silence from God, I hate this poverty stricken life, I hate not being able to help myself (God isn’t helping) make a decent life, I hate being completely alone, I hate not having any God given talents, I hate not being able to afford to go to church, I hate that I can’t afford to help poor people, I hate never having prayers answered, I hate this disgusting body (so ugly that multiple people have called me a troll), I hate my own gender (single white male, the scourge of society), I hate this life without God in it.
          I could keep going on this but I think you can get the point I am making.
          As for showing me how to be content with this miserable life. I have nothing that makes life worth living. I don’t know how to be content with nothing. Just look at everything above to see that I do mean nothing worthwhile. Just being alive isn’t enough. Does that answer your question. Thanks God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen

          • Joy O. on December 9, 2020 at 5:20 pm

            I really wish I could help you. But I do believe I’ve identified the disconnect. In a single post, you said “I hate…” 13 times referring to the life God has blessed you with. That’s excessive. How do you expect God to give you more when you aren’t appreciating what He has given you already?

            I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. I just really want you to take time to reflect on everything you have written.

            You said a lot. You know what works for me?

            The same way you’ve written those things to me, I write letters to God in the same manner.

            I wouldn’t use the word hate. Brother, that’s harsh.


            I would write a letter to God like this….

            Heavenly Father, first, I would like to thank You for waking me up this morning. I would like to thank You for giving me a home in a world where so many people are homeless. I want to thank You for giving me food to eat and fresh water in a world where some people don’t even know where their next meal will come from. Or people who have to go to dirty streams to fetch water. Thank You for the limitless supply of water you have blessed me with.

            Father God, I appreciate everything you have done for me, but there are a few things I would like Your help with to strengthen my relationship with You. Father God, in the name of Jesus, I ask that You reveal to me my purpose in life. Father God, I ask You to remove the negative thoughts that I have towards the life You have given me and towards the way I perceive myself. Father God, I ask You to remove all hatred that I have inside about myself. Remove within me everything that is making me unhappy. Father God, this unhappiness I feel is not from You. This is clearly the enemy at work trying to cause strife between us. These are lies from the enemy, and in the name of Jesus, I ask that You silence him now so I can hear You instead of him….


            Start there. Pour it all out in paper or on a note app.

            Honestly, writing these “Letters to God” saved my life.

            During a time when I was lonely. In another country lonely. No family. No nothing. Lonely. I began writing to God and God became my closest friend. God began speaking to me when I silenced everything else. Starting with the lies of satan. Rebuke him every minute of the day. Any time you get a negative thought, immediately bind it.

            There is a channel on YouTube that I’m going to refer you to. Search: Isaiah Saldivar.

            The Holy Spirit led me to him back in September. His story is incredible. An atheist to a Man on fire for the Lord.

            For 3 days, I binged all his videos. Truly life changing. Check him out.

            God bless you brother Kenneth. And when I say I am praying for you, I not simply saying words, I am going to pray for you. I will stand in the gap and intercede for you. I am going to do everything I can for you to get a breakthrough. I cannot have you, my brother in Christ, living life like this any longer. In the mighty name of Jesus, satan, with all authority given to me by Christ Jesus, I command you to depart from Kenneth Gray now! In Jesus name!

            I’m going to pray for you. I believe God led me to this page.

            Question: Have you read the entire Bible front to back? It’s the best weapon against the enemy.

            I want you to pray Ephesians 6:10-24 every day, when you wake up. During the day. Lunch break maybe. And again at night before you sleep.

          • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 4:40 pm

            Who gave you this inaccurate information on tithes? It’s way off.

            It doesn’t matter how often you get paid, 10% is 10%.

            $1000/month = $100

            $500 twice a month= $100

            $250 every week= $100

            You can A) pay everything the beginning of the month when you get paid or B) set aside your 10% tithe and divide it by 4. Putting $25 in 4 envelopes and for the 4 weeks that you go to church that month, you give $25 each week.

          • Rick Spadoni on July 1, 2021 at 1:19 am

            You are not the scourge of society. You’re listening to an atheistic philosophy based on racism. I’m 70 years old. I’ve been a Christian since I was 19. I’m a licensed minister. I haven’t been to seminary but I worked in various ministries for a long time. I’ve seen things that would curl your hair. God is very real and very powerful. But he sometimes just won’t answer prayers. I have type 2 diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis and sciatica. All incurable. I live in constant pain. I beg God to just give me some relief without having to use drugs. For a year and a half I was on oxycodone three times a day. I weaned myself off it and have been clean for almost 3 weeks. But I live in Florida and I got my medical marijuana card. Aside from oxycodone that is the only pain relief I get. But I know that God does not approve of marijuana use. Maybe for medicinal purposes it’s different. I don’t know. He hasn’t told me. I’ve read what other people say about it but they usually talk about recreational use.
            My arthritis is getting worse daily. The pain in my left shoulder and elbow make my left arm almost useless. And my ankles are so weak I have a hard time walking without a cane.
            I find it so hard to reconcile the idea that God is a loving father and yet is allowing me to have free incurable diseases that cause me constant pain. I keep asking myself what father would do that to his son. I don’t want to lose faith, and I understand patience comes through suffering, and I know that as Christians we are fated to suffer but for our faith not from a disease or three of them.
            But it’s not just that. I always seem to have minor disasters that occur around me. For example: 3 weeks ago my main computer crashed with a blue screen of death if anybody knows what that is.
            I had a backup in the living room that I watch Netflix and other shows with. Tonight that one crashed out of nowhere too. It had the same exact error. Now I have no computer with which to download Windows on a USB drive to repair them. Today that was the final straw. I blew up at God. I told him if he was going to continue to beat me up why not just take me home. I ended up yelling what the hell do you want from me anyway? I decided to check online and see if there were any answers there. Apparently I’m not the only one that yells at God once in a while. It’s pretty audacious for a piddling human to yell at the creator of the universe. But I’m still here. I haven’t been stuck down with lightning. So maybe he is a little more understanding of our human natures than we give him credit for. I know that the h in him should be capitalized but I’m dictating this with Google voice.

            I know this may sound like a cliche, but there is a quote that has stuck with me for many years. It goes like this. I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet. I know a lady who lives about a hundred miles from me. She has fibromyalgia. That disease is far worse than rheumatoid arthritis. She is in constant horrible pain from her muscles and her nerves. I also have a friend in Pennsylvania who is about 40 years old, still lives with his father, is autistic and has multiple physical issues with his body which require constant surgeries and care. Yet he still loves the Lord. Because of his autism he can’t even leave the house usually without his father being with him. But he knows that the sufferings we have in this world are nothing compared to the glories we will experience in the next. Yes I know it sounds like pie in the sky or that’s what atheists like to say. I have an IQ of 165. I examined virtually every major religion in my youth including the krishna’s, the Moonies, Scientology, Fringe Christian groups, Buddhism, Hinduism and the Catholic Church which I was raised in. I was even an altar boy and went to Catholic school for 8 years. Basically everything except Islam. I have read the Quran, the father. The Vedic scriptures, even the Tibetan book of the Dead. I’ve read and heard most of the arguments against Christianity and after a dedicated study trying to disprove the resurrection of Jesus Christ I came to the conclusion that the New testament is absolutely reliable and truthful.
            It is the most reliable document of antiquity there is. Fragments of the Gospels have been dated to less than 100 years after Jesus died. And they were written within 30 to 50 years later by the people that lived with him except for Paul who was given a revelation after he was converted. As Peter said in his epistle: we are not speaking cleverly made up fables but we ourselves are witnesses of his glory and his resurrection. That is paraphrased by the way. John and his gospel says that which we have beheld and touched referring to Jesus. These men were witnesses. They were beaten, tortured, stoned and finally martyred for what they wrote. They gained absolutely nothing in this world from their testimony. All they gained was a life of hardship and finally execution. The resurrection of Jesus Christ is the most reliable fact in human history. Almost everyone who’s ever tried to disprove it became a believer including myself.

            One thing I’ve learned in 50 years. Joy is not a feeling. It’s not happiness, it’s not feeling good about your life. I too have asked God why I don’t experience the joy that a Christian is supposed to have but that’s because I didn’t really understand what Joy is. It’s knowing that despite all the rotten things we’ve said thought and done in our lives, God has forgiven all of it. And not just forgiven, he has made us adopted sons and daughters. When we are in in dwelt by the holy Spirit we are new creatures, no longer simply human. We are now children of the eternal God. No matter what we may feel like inside, or how miserable our life is in this world, that does not change. We still are subject to sin. And we will sin sometimes. But God forgives that too. I know I keep going back to him with the same problem over and over again. I’m constantly repenting and saying I won’t do it again. I keep thinking sooner or later he’s going to get tired of forgiving me. And then I remember when the disciples asked Jesus how often makes you forgive a brother seven times? Jesus replied 70 * 7. That’s almost 500 times and that’s just an example I’m sure. God forgiveness is unending.
            Don’t misunderstand me, I’m still pissed at him. But that’s like a son getting angry with his daddy. It won’t last. And he knows that. That’s what is known as having a personal relationship with God. And for those who don’t believe in that even Christians, remember Jesus said behold I stand at the door and knock anyone who opens the door to me, my father and I will come in and we will sup with him. That means a personal relationship. That comes through the holy spirit that we are given when we believe. I know this is going to sound strange, but those who are born in the holy Spirit are no longer human. This Earth is not our home. We are strangers in a strange Land. We are lights in a dark world. We are not to be tied to this world in any way.
            The absolute difference between someone who is a born again believer and one who is not is that the unregenerated live with a comatose spirit. Those who are born again have a reborn spirit that is in communion with the Holy Spirit.
            But we are still subject to the curse on this world which includes disease, mental and physical. Sometimes it’s our own fault. Sometime it’s genetics. Sometimes it’s the everyday accidents that occur in a fallen world.
            Just remember that no matter how bad things might seem, in this country we still have the right to go to church and to preach the gospel. There are millions in the world that don’t have that right. In fact millions are being tortured as we speak and some killed. If you are a poor and can’t get to church, there are many services online you can watch. God will bless you through that as well.
            Kenneth, if you feel that you can’t do anything for God in your life, you have one power that nobody can take from you. Prayer. Become a prayer warrior. Pray for others. Ironically, I can say with confidence that God does hear my prayers for other people. I guess that’s my mission. To pray for others even if my own prayers aren’t being answered. To that end I will add you to my prayer list.
            By the way I too have been poor. I was homeless for 2 years. I’m leaving on social security and a small pension. I’m not poor but I have just enough for what I need.
            And that makes me a lot more blessed then many people who have lost jobs and lively hood because of this pandemic. And I am truly blessed for having been born in a country where I can practice my religion and faith, freely and safely, so far. We have many things to be thankful for if we stop to think about them.
            Think about this: if you are unable to go anywhere, you are in a great position to just spend time with the Lord with no major concerns taking your time. Just talk to him. Tell him how you feel. He knows but he wants to hear it from you. You don’t have to use a lot of flowering words like thee and thou. God doesn’t speak Old English. Make him a part of everything you do. Live as if he’s standing right next to you and talk to him that way. You’re in your own home. Nobody’s going to think you’re wacko for talking to someone who isn’t there.
            Joy is right about one thing. If you change your attitude, God will be able to help you.
            I’ll say one more thing and then close. God does not make junk. You are wonderfully and fearfully made. So you’re not gorgeous, or Einstein. God doesn’t give one single hoot what you look like. Did you know there are a lot of ugly actors? And they know they’re ugly. But there are moles they fill. I was a nerd in school. Got beat up a lot by the cool kids in school. But I ended up with straight A’s. I was an editor in the school newspaper and when I State award for a special series of articles I wrote. None of my so-called enemies ever achieved anything like that. So who cares what people think about you. You are a living breathing child of God. And adopted son of the creator of the universe. Nothing anybody says will ever change that. God has his seal on you and he’s not going to let you go. Trust me I know. I turned away from him a few times over my life and each time he’s reeled me right back in.
            One thing I highly advise is that you should call a church that you trust and ask for some counseling and prayer. Sometimes others who pray for us are more effective than our own prayers. Remember James said if someone is sick to have the elders of the church pray over them. Perhaps I should take my own advice. LOL.
            Well I’ve said enough. I hope something I’ve said helps. It’s not easy living with pain, physical or emotional. But there are always resources to help us and God still does care. I pray that he will reveal himself to you and to me and that you will learn to understand that this is a short tour of duty on this planet. And to an old song with a little change, God never promises us a Rose garden. He said in the world you will have tribulation. But be of good cheer I have overcome the world. That includes your physical issues as well and mine.
            May God pour out his blessings upon you. Yours in Christ, Rick.

      • Joy O. on December 9, 2020 at 4:34 pm

        I asked the Holy Spirit to give me the right words to minister to you and this is what I received.

        Let’s say you give a child food. You give a child water. You give a child shelter. You give a child everything they need to be comfortable in life. Clothing. Home. Meals. Etc. But despite all the things you’ve given this child, they still say to you that they hate their life.

        Let’s say that you give words of encouragement to this child about their identity. A whole book written about your love for them. Chapters and chapters of words of encouragement. You tell them they are your child. You tell them who they are to you. You love them with an unfailing love. You protect them from harm. But still, they say they hate their life and that they hate everything about who they are.

        You done everything you can to give this child, your child, a good life. A life better than majority of children in this world, yet your child isn’t content. Despite the gifts you have given them, they say their life is miserable.

        Now, you continue to love this child. Because your love for them is unconditional. You couldn’t to supply their every need because you’re a good father.

        But, let me ask you something…wouldn’t their complaints cause communication problems within your relationship with them? Wouldn’t it cause a hindrance in how you speak to them when it seems like no matter what you do for them, they are still unhappy with the life you have given them? Despite your love for them, wouldn’t it make you said that you aren’t making them happy? Wouldn’t you be sad and silent because of hurt?

        • Joy O. on December 9, 2020 at 4:44 pm

          (Please excuse the typos)

          As you read my response. Completely position yourself as a father. Don’t think about this being between you and God, but between you and your child.

          How would it make you feel as a father?

          I hope this helps.

          God bless you brother!

          • Kenneth Gray on December 9, 2020 at 4:50 pm

            It would make me sad, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t keep trying. I d talk to my child, not ignore him/her. God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen

        • Kenneth Gray on December 9, 2020 at 4:46 pm

          I’d, keep trying to make the life the child needs to be happy and content. I would communicate with him/her to try and help them.
          I definitely wouldn’t remain silent and absent from him/her. God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen

          • Joy O. on December 9, 2020 at 5:37 pm

            Watch this video first:


            Then this one:


            Many Christians don’t believe in these things when they should. It’s biblical.


            Again, the Lord led me to his channel because that same person I told you about with the “fake” letter I wrote, God revealed to me that he was demonized. When you look at darkness in the face, you will know. The darkness in the eyes. The emptiness. The torment.

            This is coming from a person who thought demons weren’t real. God completely wrecked my life in the most beautiful way to show me exactly what is going on in the unseen world.

            Email me Kenneth:

            I 100% believe that God has aligned our path today for healing, deliverance and breakthrough in Jesus Mighty name! Amen!

        • Kenneth Gray on December 9, 2020 at 5:42 pm

          I will be honest and say that I have always struggled with the Bible so no I have never been able to read it cover to cover. I find that the Bible isn’t straightforward enough for me. I dislike riddles and the Bible is full of them. I am trying again to read it through, have gotten to I believe Isaiah 43.
          I’ll look up the guy you mentioned and I will read Ephesians 6: 10 – 24.
          Thanks for your replies I appreciate them. May God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen

          • Joy O. on December 9, 2020 at 6:41 pm

            YouTube Search:
            ETV Interviews: Isaiah Saldivar

            I used to have trouble reading the Bible, but during the most difficult time of my life, I said enough is enough and tackled it as if my life depended on it. Tbh, it did!

            Download the YouVersion Bible App.

            There are 2 bible plans that helped me read the Bible.

            1) Bible in 90 Days.

            2) New Thru 30.

            The first time, use the NLT version and just read along with the audio. Put it on 2x speed. I did these 2 plans at the same time. If you dedicate an 45 minutes to an hour a day, to read the Bible, it will change your life. It did for me. God speaks to me all the time now. Come to think of it, it happened when I finished reading the entire Bible.

            – NLT version is perfect for beginners.
            – 2x speed so it’s not too drawn out and boring.
            – Whatever you do, don’t stop. Make sure you complete it. Even if you have questions, keep going.

            When I got through it the first time around, I hungered for more wisdom and knowledge that I did the plan over again using NIV version.


            Then again using GNT.

            I think in a year, I read the Bible front to back 3 times. I repeat, it wasn’t until I dedicated my entire self into the Word of God that God truly began speaking to me.


            The first time I finished reading the Bible, I was so excited! I remember calling my mom and saying, “Guess what Mom, I read the entire Bible in 90 Days!” It was something I always wanted to accomplish but could never do it. Because back then, before the incredible gift of the Bible App, we didn’t have the Bible in audio with many different translations. We had translations like KJV which I would never recommend for a beginner. It took me 5 complete bible translations before I was able to tackle KJV.

            Anyway… back to the Testimony.
            So, I told my Mom about finishing the Bible.

            The next day, my mom calls me to tell me she was in an accident and she cannot remember what happened. She said all she remembers was a woman knocking on her window in the middle of the HIGHWAY. Car totaled! She was in the car with my brother and neither one of them had a scratch on them. No pain. No nothing. The accident occurred in the left side of the highway. God literally positioned an 18-wheeler from one end of the highway to the other end so my mother and brother could make their way to the other side.

            The cops are questioning her, “What happened?” She had no recollection of the incident. The cops in shock, first that there’s no mark in them and 2nd, by looking at the damage, how she couldn’t remember a thing about the accident. My brother, non-verbal and autistic, couldn’t tell them what happened either. They checked her alcohol level and blood sugar, and everything was fine. The whole thing left all of them speechless.

            The day after I finished reading the Bible, Jesus literally took the wheel and saved both my mother and brother from what could have been a fatal accident.

            Months later, come find out, my mother had a seizure. On Interstate 285, the deadliest Highway in the United States!! What are the odds of surviving such a thing? ONLY GOD!

            Oh, and the woman who knocked on her window, my mom to this day doubts it was a woman. She didn’t see her after that. The police never mentioned anything about a woman. Angel? Only God knows the answer to that.

            A miracle!

          • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 1:14 pm

            Wow, you really believe that. Yes,we have free will but the Holy Spirit does led people to do things. It’s your choice to be obedient or not. I choose to be obedient. I was tired. I could have stopped but the Holy Spirit kept giving me words to say to you. I could have used my free will and remained silent, but I obeyed.

            That’s how having a relationship with God works. Read your Bible. You lack wisdom. It’s all there. How about you help yourself first by reading the entire word of God? Then tell me what you think God can do or not do. God bless you.

            I chose to help you because God led me to a page I had never heard of. The same way God leads me to pray for the sick. Free will: I could say no, and not pray because I don’t feel like it.

            Buy I use my free will to do what God tells me to do. That’s why God speaks to me. That’s why all my prayers get answered. That’s why God led me to an app, and I used my free will to download it. If I disobeyed that command from God, I wouldn’t have met my future husband.

            That’s free will. Obedience vs disobedience.

          • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 1:19 pm

            Earplugs cost a dollar at Dollar Tree. Noise cancelling earmuffs cost $10 or less on Amazon.

          • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 5:41 pm

            That is how the pastor of my church when I was growing up, explained how tithes work.

      • Joy O. on December 9, 2020 at 7:40 pm

        I saved for many years, but being saved and giving your entire life to God is not the same thing. I was lukewarm for yeaaaaaaaaarrsssss! It takes more than prayer. It takes Submission. Obedience. Doing things you don’t want to do but you know you have to do it because you’re doing it for God. Not matter how much it takes you outside of your comfort zone, you do it because it’s necessary. It was in the most difficult and uncomfortable situations that I found God.

        I saw this phrase & it and stuck with me:
        “Don’t be a part time Christian who demands a full time God.”

        It’s so true! That’s why I read my Bible every day. Minimum 10 times a day. I pray minimum 30 times a day. Thanking Him, asking for direction and guidance. Fasting now has become a part of me. 3 day absolute fasts. 21 day Water Fast. I did a 32 day Water Fast once. Don’t even ask me how, it was only by the strength of God, not my might.

        I had to change my entire life around to make God #1 in it. He should not adjust for me, I must adjust for Him. This makes Him happy. When He is happy with our devotion to Him, He does anything and everything we ask of him. The change must begin with us. It was in my weakness that God became the greatest in my life!

        Giving to the poor isn’t just about giving money to them. I give gift cards to Walmart for a meal, clothes. If I pass by someone who is asking for money. If I don’t have cash, I’ll go to the nearest restaurant and by a meal for them. Turn my car back around to give it to them. Sometimes arriving late to my destination because I had to do what God put in my spirit to do. And every time I do something for God, I never get in trouble for being late. Often times, God will make that person I was supposed to meet late, I get there before them, they end up being the one who apologizes to me for their tardiness. God and I will start laughing together. I cannot tell you how many laughs I’ve shared with God. He makes me laugh all the time. It’s a relationship between Father and daughter. Not religion. Relationship.

        I want you to have it!! It’s perfect! It’s divine! It’s the best relationship I’ve ever had.

        Try these suggestions that I’ve given you.
        – read the Bible the first hour you wake up. You may need to set your alarm a full hour before you are supposed to wake up. But that’s how important reading the Bible is every day. As important as food, water, a shower, brushing your teeth. You don’t brush your teeth every day, you stink. You don’t read your Bible every day, you’re spiritually weak.

        Die to self. Skip a meal or two, and dedicate that time to prayer and reading the Word. Dedicate your meal time to watching a sermon on YouTube or watching a Christian movie.

        Pray for others. Pray for God to Bless them. He loves that and rewards it. I don’t do it for the reward, but I can’t lie, the reward is pretty sweet.

        I hopes this helps you Kenneth. God bless you always!

        • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 1:33 pm

          To by things on Amazon you need a credit card. I’m poor no one will give me a credit card. And the cheapest I have found for noise canceling headphones offline is $100. Yes earplugs are relatively cheap there is transportation costs to get to the store. It’s not making excuses, I am that poor. As it is I am lucky if I get to eat everyday. And that includes the food bank.

          • E. Joy Obaseki on December 10, 2020 at 10:43 pm

            This is an excerpt from a book that I’m writing so for copyright purposes, I’m going to write my name: E. Joy Obaseki

            “I leave you with these questions:

            Do you believe in God: Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit?

            Do you believe the Bible is the spoken Word of God?

            Do you believe everything that is in the Bible?

            Do you believe God split the Red Sea?

            Do you believe Jonah was in the mouth of a whale for 3 days?

            Do you believe in angels?

            Do you believe in devil is real?

            Do you believe demons are real?

            Do you believe God speaks to us?

            Do you believe God tells people what is going to happen before it happens?

            If you answered “no” to any one of this questions, then how can you say that you are a Christian? How can you call yourself a believer? If you answered no, then go back to the first question. Are you sure you believe in God?

            ‘All of the Bible is God. All of God is not in the Bible.’

            Everything written in the Bible is an account of actual events that occurred.

            John 21:24-25 says:

            This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who has written them down. And we know that his testimony is true.

            There are many more things that Jesus did. If all of them were written down, I suppose that not even the world itself would have space for the books that would be written.”

            Book chapter written on November 21, 2020 2:05 PM (London Time) by E. Joy Obaseki

          • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 11:22 pm

            You are living in spiritual darkness. Jesus is light. The Word of God is light. It reveals things hidden in darkness. Light leads the way out of dark situations. Out of dark thoughts. Light brings knowledge, wisdom and understanding. Light guides your path. Without tht light of God shining within you, you end up lost, confused, without purpose and direction.

      • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 12:57 pm

        Noise cancelling headphones, earplugs, and/or earmuffs. Regular in ear headphones work too with light instrumental music playing in the background. There was many ways to get around it.

        • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 1:05 pm

          If I could afford those headphones I would get them. I find music is just another distraction. I am poor, where I am the poverty line is $42,000 and I exist on just over $13,000 per year. 3 quarters of that goes to rent.

          • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 10:07 pm

            False teaching and false belief will surely cause a disconnect from God. Speaking falsities that are completely against what is written in the book Bible could cause silence. Because it’s not God’s teaching, it’s foreign to God. These words and teaching are words from another “god.” Not from God Almighty. Renew your mind brother. There’s things in there that need to be removed and cleanse from your mind.
            Reading causes an awakening from spiritual slumber, it gives sight to spiritual blindness, and it gives you new ears canceling spiritual deafness.

            I hope this is making sense to you. I hope this information has given you insight as to why you haven’t heard God. Everything that I’ve spoken has been through the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Just look how the Holy Spirit led me verses about women in the workforce. That wasn’t from my mind. That was the Holy Spirit giving me wisdom at the right time. Don’t you want to have God use you and direct you in this same manner? Even what you originally said about free will was wrong too. Until you fully know what God is capable of doing inside a person, there will always be a disconnect. When it says God knocks on people’s hearts, that is about free will too. You can obey and let Him in or you can disobey and continue living life how you want to live without his help.
            You can use your free will to submit to him or use your free will to do what your flesh wants to do.

            That’s the free will God has given us.

            Either you do what God tells you to do or you don’t. That’s free will. Obedience vs disobedience = free will.

            This is what God has taught me through me seeking Him like my life counted on it. And I’m so glad I obeyed that knock of God telling me it’s time to read the Bible. I could have said No, I’m busy. That would have been my choice, my free will. But it would have taken much longer to get to where my relationship with Him is not.

            I view free will like this:

            Look at a maze vs a straight road. Both will lead to the same destination, but one is straight forward and quicker, and the other takes longer to get there because of all the detours and wrong turns.

        • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 11:24 pm

          Until you find out yourself, you’ll never know what is true or not.

          • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 11:39 pm

            Have been reading scripture, I have gotten 10 more chapters down. Isiah 44 through 54. That has taken from noon till now. You left some questions. I said yes to them all. Only two caviots. One I do believe that God speaks to us (mankind) only that He doesn’t speak to me. Two I do believe that God will reveal things in advance. God can do anything. I just don’t believe that he tells everyone. Sorry to bring this up but did God tell your mother about the seizure before hand? No and she was in an accident because of that, correct? Thanks and may God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen.

      • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 9:38 pm

        Another reason as to why people need to seek Truth on their own. One must know the Bible for themselves so that pastors as the one you mentioned won’t steer them wrong. The way he explained tithing is false teaching. It’s unbiblical.
        Reading the Bible in my own has helped me learn so many things that I never knew or was thought wrong. So many pastors take scripture out of context. Until one is able to immediately recognize false teaching, they’ll continue to be led astray.
        Brother Kenneth, this is why it’s good to seek out biblical knowledge. One cannot go through life, believing and speaking falsities that their heard a pastor say.

        The say way one goes to school to learn, one must also read the Bible to learn. The proper understanding opens the gate to your communication to God.

        I read a lot of your past comments, brother Kenneth, it’s false teaching. Even the comments about women, it’s wrong and people in the church take one verse they read out of context. I read the Bible and I love being able to use the knowledge and wisdom that God has given me to show them what’s right so they don’t continue believing things that are wrong. I am a woman, God has used me to minister to others and they have become saved. Anyone who says that my teaching of the Word is unbiblical doesn’t know the first thing about what the Bible says. There are so many influential women in the Bible who place was not solely to work in the home. The person who told you that women aren’t supposed to be in the workforce is yet again a false teacher.

        Hunger for wisdom, truth and knowledge. It’s time brother. 40 years is too long to continue believing falsities from a pastor when you were young. That pastor is WRONG, WRONG AND WRONG.

        Change must start with you. That lack of wisdom is deafening. Silencing even. I told you many times already, I began hearing God when I diligently start seeking biblical truth on my own. God became my teacher, not a pastor.

        • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 11:23 pm

          Joy, I understand that false teachings is bad. If I was taught wrong then then things should be looked at differently. But what if I was taught correctly. I say this because I have found (many times) two different pastors interpretating the same verse in the Bible in two completely different ways. So which one is right. Both sides have equally valid points. Both sides back up their interpretation with scripture. How can you tell the right interpretation. Not saying this to try to do anything, just for explaining a problem. By the way, I believe that Titus 2: 5 clearly states that women are to be in the home. That is biblical. Thanks and God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen

          • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 11:52 pm

            Please Kenneth. Where in the bible does it say that God tells you everything? No one prophesizes in full. I’m over this conversation. You’re not a teachable person. I’m sorry. I wish you the best in life. I’ve tried. I hope one day you get out of your set ways and start seeing things differently. Until then you’ll never hear God.
            I’m sorry. I can’t help you. I’m really trying. I tried to Help you as a brother, but everything I say is being met by a debate. Trying to contradict everything I say. Instead of listening to reason or lending an ear to understand, you throw back something against everything I say. So, I’m done. I did everything God told me to do and say. I can give you names of people God has put in my path to help. And every single last one of them took my advice and are now living a life of Christ. Not by my might but by the Holy Spirit that dwells within me. I let God teach me and I’m living my BEST life because of it. Happy, content and in love with my entire existence in God.

            I must be doing something right.

            Glory be to God!!! Amen! Hallelujah!!!! Praise His Holy Name!

          • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 11:57 pm

            Stop relying on the words of others and find out firy yourself! It’s that simple! Period! God will give you Wisdom and discernment to understand exactly what scripture means.

            Are you trying to tell me that in all your years, you haven’t learned something on your own that was completely different than how you were taught?! I’m not even talking Christianity. I mean in life.

            God bless you. Good bye.

      • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 10:30 pm

        🔖Jesus did many other miraculous signs that his followers saw, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you can believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God. Then, by believing, you can have life through his name – John 20:30‭-‬31 ERV
        🔖And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were recorded one by one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that would be written. – John 21:25 AMP

        • Kenneth Gray on December 11, 2020 at 12:17 am

          Iam not trying to argue with you about anything. I am listening. I am struggling and seriously confused and desperate. I am trying to understand. I am only replying so you can understand where I am coming from. You told me to read the Bible. Am still trying to read all. You said that I should learn from the Bible. I have researched the whole thing with women and God. I have checked it against scripture. I have gotten counsel on this from more than one source. As we are supposed to do. Titus 2: 5 just somes things up. So if that is wrong then a whole lot of Christians are in for a surprise. I have done as I am supposed to do regarding discerning the meaning of scripture. I am not saying that you are wrong. I am just trying to convey how my journey is going. How can you learn anything if you don’t debate the merits? I know you are frustrated with me and I am sorry if I have done or said something that you don’t believe. I (we) am (are) always learning. It doesn’t happen quickly. If you are frustrated with me can you imagine how frustrating this is for me. Again I am sorry if I offended you or hurt you in any way. Thanks again and may God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen.

          • Joy O. on December 11, 2020 at 12:44 am

            I appreciate your apology. Titus 2:5 say to work in the home. Which is true, buy it doesn’t say solely at home. Ruth worked in the fields, that’s where she met her husband Boaz. Proverbs 31 woman, worked at home and she had a side business OUTSIDE of the house.

            Does Titus 2:5 say a woman should ONLY work in the home? No, it does not. Yes, we are to care for our homes but we can do more than that. Women worked so many different jobs in the bible and that also applies to us now.

            Again, one cannot pick one sentence out of a book as say that all the book entails.


            The Bible mentions women who worked in commercial trade (Prov. 31:16a, 24; Acts 16:14), in agriculture (Josh. 15:17-19; Ruth 2:8; Prov. 31:16b), as millers (Exod. 11:5; Matt. 24:41), as shepherds (Gen. 29:9; Exod. 2:16), as artisans, especially in textiles (Exod. 26:1 NIV; Tobit 2:11ff NRSV; Acts 18:3), as perfumers and cooks (1 Sam. 8:13), as midwives (Exod. 1:15ff), as nurses (Gen. 35:8; Exod. 2:7; 2 Sam. 4:4; 1 Kings 1:4), as domestic servants (Acts 12:13, etc), and as professional mourners (Jer. 9:17). Women could also be patrons (Acts 16:40; Rom. 16:1-2), leaders (Judg. ch 4-5; 2 Sam. 20:16) and ruling queens (1 Kings 10:1ff; Acts 8:27). One Bible woman even built towns (1 Chron. 7:24). Many women, and men, worked from home, yet the Bible nowhere criticises women who worked outside the home in the public sphere.

            Look at all the verses that prove that in ADDITION to working in the home, women freely worked outside of the house as well.

            This is why I read. I never want to be led astray. I never want to rely on one verse and make a blanketed statement that isn’t the whole truth. Titus 2:5 is accurate, but it is only part of a woman’s role. Nowhere does it say that that is ALL a woman must do.

            Do you recognize that now?

        • Kenneth Gray on December 11, 2020 at 12:27 am

          No I haven’t learned anything completely on my own. I can’t remember the name but I am one of those people that need to be shown how to do something. I had to have someone show me how to do what we have been doing. Most of the time things just don’t stick in brain unless shown how. God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen.

          Off to bed as it 12:26 am here.

          • Joy O. on December 11, 2020 at 1:06 am

            Go to YouTube, search:

            Our Own Words Can Make Us Miserable – Tony Evans Sermon Clip

            It just showed up in my feed, and the Spirit prompted me to share it with you.

          • Joy O. on December 15, 2020 at 12:37 am

            Oh, You’re welcome Kenneth?

            Don’t worry, I won’t message you anymore.

      • Joy O. on December 14, 2020 at 11:29 pm

        youtu.be/ dzVeQq5Nwnc

        • Joy O. on December 14, 2020 at 11:36 pm

          youtu.be/ dzVeQq5Nwnc

          I put a space between youtu.be/
          And the 2nd half of the link

          Because this site doesn’t allow full links. To watch the correct link enter the URL without the space after the /

          youtu.be/ dzVeQq5Nwnc
          (without the space after the /)

          • Kenneth Gray on December 15, 2020 at 12:33 am

            Already watched it. Automatically assumed there was no space. Normal.

    • Syntyche on February 12, 2021 at 8:17 am

      Hi Joy, I have read a few of these comments and I am trying to get closer to god but I done even know where to start I was trying to look for information until I came here. I’m 13 and I’ve live quite a sinful life I want to repent and submit to God but don’t know how to. if you could help me id be very much honoured.

    • Syntyche on February 12, 2021 at 8:49 am

      Hi Joy, I have seen a few of these comments and I want to repent and submit to God but don’t know how or where to start. I have lived quite a sinful life and I want to change my ways. I’m 13 years old and need a bit of help, if you could help me or tell me what to do or where to start id be grateful.

  11. Graham on November 1, 2020 at 5:30 am

    In my opinion prayer only works positively when one finds and follows God’s devine plan for them.

    You could be happily married with a big house and beautiful children and not on God’s plan.

    You will experience more difficulty, hardship and suffering if you don’t follow what God has intended for you. Your prayers will work though the opposite way round as God is trying to push you in that direction.

    Don’t get me wrong you can still live a moral and happy life but there might be something missing.

    Once you are on plan, I believe that is when prayers and healings become miraculous.

    Just think – if everyone followed what God had planned for them, earth would be a paradise.

    • Kenneth Gray on December 9, 2020 at 7:33 pm

      I have a Bible app on my phone, called Bible offline. It has many translations, more than I knew existed. I read from the Christian Standard Bible translation. It doesn’t have audio capability. So far I find it the easiest to deal with and doesn’t skip parts like some other translations. My app gives me access to blogs about God and Jesus. It even reminds me to read scripture and praise God. As for study plans, I don’t have a computer or printer, just something else that I can’t afford. I just have data on my phone, so no way to print out study plans/guides. Good to hear that your mother and brother were ok after the accident. But sorry to hear about your mother had a seizure. It might have been a miracle but God stopping her from having the seizure in the first place would have been a better thing in my opinion. Thanks again and God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen.

      • Joy O. on December 9, 2020 at 7:52 pm

        The plan doesn’t need a printer or computer. Download the app. YouVersion and there are tons of Free plans. Start with the ones I suggested to you.

        What you said about the seizure is why we differ.

        My mother never in life suffered from seizures. The accident allowed her to get checked, a diagnosis was made, and she’s been treated with medication and hasn’t had a seizure for over 3 years.

        Oh, my mom needed a new car. Her car being totaled was a blessing! Thanks to God’s provision, the insurance company gave her a ridiculously high amount to write off her car. My uncle who buys cars from auctions, fixes them, and sells them used the money that insurance gave her to buy her a nice ride! Nice ride!!! A ride she wouldn’t have gotten if it wasn’t for the blessing of the accident.

        • Kenneth Gray on December 9, 2020 at 8:35 pm

          I’ll take a look at the app. Yes I quess that we differ in in how we see things. I think, never had seizures before that day, why did God make her start suffering from seizures at all? No seizures no accident to save her from. I don’t know how to see negative as positive. God didn’t make me that way. That is another thing that confuses the heck out of me. Why did God make me different than He wants me to be? It doesn’t make sense in any way. Same as God’s infernal silence doesn’t make sense. God wants a relationship with us but refuses to speak. A relationship requires 2 way communication. Silence isn’t communicating. I’m told that the Bible speaks to us. I have never heard anything from a Bible. It’s an inanimate object that can’t speak. Books aren’t alive. I just don’t know, and God isn’t telling me anything or helping me to be what He wants. Thanks and God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen.

          • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 1:03 pm

            This is what I mean. Every suggestion I give, you counteract with a reason why you cannot do it. This is the devil feeding you these excuses so you don’t get close to God. I cannot say this enough, there’s a bigger problem here. It’s spiritual warfare. A spiritual attack to your mind. You need to fight back with prayer against it first!

          • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 2:41 pm

            People may say they don’t have time. I used to say the same thing too until I checked myself hard!! I had time to binge-watch a tv show, but couldn’t binge-read the Bible. I’d waste hours doing irrelevant things, but couldn’t spend those same 2 hours listening to worship music. I became my own accountability partner. I recognized where I was lacking in my faith walk and did everything humanly possible to correct it, then God met me where I was and gave me His strength to do more than what was humanly possible. He took over when I gave my All!!

            Ask yourself, Are you giving your all to God? Have you done everything humanly possible to grow stronger in Him?

            I don’t need nor want you answer. But you need to be honest with yourself and with God.

      • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 11:37 pm

        That is one part of a woman’s role. Look at alllllllllllllll the other verses that shows other parts of the bigger picture. You can’t take one verse and run with it. Take all verses and complete the whole story.

        If you read one chapter a 30 chapter book. Can you say you read the whole book? Can you give someone a summary of the entirety of that book based on that one chapter you read? No, because you didn’t complete the book in order to have the full details of the book.

        You read chapter by chapter. The second chapter helps you understand the first chapter. The Chapters that follow give you details about certain characters. One verse from the Bible is not all the verses about that specific topic. You gather all pieces of the book to get the full story.

        I’m just not understanding how else to explain this to you. This is life.

        Elementary school we learned addition. Middle school division. High school, calculus. You need the former to help you work out the latter. If there’s something in between that you never learned properly or were taught wrong, you’ll never be able to complete the more difficult math problems.
        Teachers may teach in class, but you have to go home and do homework. You have to learn to answer the problems for a test. You have to figure it out yourself so you can pass your test.

        Same goes for you the teaching of pastors. You still have to pick up the Bible and do your homework.

        God bless you.

        • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 11:52 pm

          I have run that by more than a few pastors, who all confirmed it to be right. I have even had women tell me that I am right on that point about God’s role for women. Is everybody else wrong. God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen

          • Joy O. on December 11, 2020 at 12:10 am

            What about all the Bible verse that I detailed that prove otherwise? I do my homework. The few pastors that told you this are not ALL the pastor’s in the world! Just look at how wrong that pastor was about tithing. I’ve never heard anything so absurd in my life. Yes, that pastor was wrong. There are pastors who are Wrong. Until you find out the Truth on your own time with God giving you Wisdom, knowledge, clarity, and discernment, you will never be able to recognize who’s teaching is right vs. wrong. I listen to pastors whose teachings are equal to what I also gathered from my alone time with God by reading His Word.

            I now have discernment between false teaching and biblical accuracy. Not simply going by word of mouth of what a person tells me. I’ve read the Bible many times and every time I read it God gives me more and More clarity, understanding and knowledge. It’s food for my spirit!
            I can’t live life going on what I pastor tells me. That’s not what I call living. I want to know it on my own. Pastors are humans. Humans can be wrong. Everything is out there. Research it on your own. Feed your spirit.
            In a minute, I gave you verses about woman who ministered. In minutes, I gave you verses about woman who had jobs outside of the house. Just read Proverbs 31. She did everything!!

            A simple Google search can teach you more than your pastor will. They are pastors all over YouTube. CLEARLY the pastors who you’ve been listening to haven’t been feeding your spirit properly. Find others.

    • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 1:22 pm

      Thank you for everything you have done for me. You have no idea how much I appreciate this. Thanks seems like to little. I am still reading and will try to get through. I would love to do God’s purpose for me, but God hasn’t told me what that is.

      • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 1:43 pm

        You’re welcome Kenneth.

        “I would love to do God’s purpose for me, but God hasn’t told me what that is.”

        You have a greater battle to overcome first. Start with the renewal of your mind. Start with binding all ungodly thoughts. I believe once your mind is free from the negativity, then you’ll be able to hear clearly. Go online and Google search spiritual warfare verses.

        Oh, look up Pastor Robert Clancy on YouTube. He has excellent prayers for deliverance against enemy attacks of the mind.

        In fact the one he uploaded today is perfect for you. I actually thought about you when I heard it.

        He’s a pastor that I would recommend you watch every day. He uploads daily utterance prayers. They are very good.

        And please don’t forget to watch Isaiah Saldivar videos. He talks a lot about deliverance too.

        Deliverance needs to occur before purpose.

        God bless you Kenneth. I choose to use my free will to pray for you because that’s what God has called me to do. Yes, I had a choice, and I choose to do this not for myself, but all I do in life, I do it for God.

        God gave me purpose of being an Intercessor only when everything within me was cleansed, purified and sanctified of all things that were not of Him. He gave me purpose once my mind was renewed… which happened when I used my free will to disconnect from everything in the world so I could connect with God. I even went as far as getting rid of my cellphone for a year and only communicating with family via a landline and email. Extreme…yes. but necessary. It was the best year of my life. I could have chose an easier route, but I used my free will to choose the route that would benefit me the most when it came to knowing God intimately. So believe me when I say that earplugs and earmuffs worked wonders. All I’m telling you is all that worded for me. It’s a lot of do. But I’d do it all over again because of the relationship I gained with God.

        • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 1:53 pm

          Will do, God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen.

      • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 2:42 pm

        Seeking Him is reading the Word. There’s more to it, but that’s a great place to start.

  12. Kenneth Gray on September 22, 2020 at 9:24 am

    To W. Taylor,
    I am not a pastor or theologian but I will try to answer your questions the best that I can. “What is Mosaic Law?” As I know it Mosaic Law is the law given to Moses during the journey from Egypt to the promised land. This includes the 10 Commandments. “What was tithe and how did it become money?” I’ll start with the first part of this two parter. The tithe was a command from God to the Israelites, through Moses, to give the first 10% of the persons “income” to God. This includes harvested crops, if you were a farmer, but it also means money as not all people actually produce things. Think about it like this, you go to work in an office. You don’t actually produce a product. You get paid to provide a service. It doesn’t matter whether you get paid with money or not. If you got paid with chickens, the first 10% of the chickens would be your tithe. Instead you get paid with money, you still give the first 10% of the money as that is your income. Not all types of labor produce a product. The second part of this two parter is that the tithe has always included money. Even in Moses’ time, not everyone produced a product. The last question, “Can money be eaten?” You could probably swallow coins and chew up paper money, but that wouldn’t be good for you. Instead you use the money to buy food. The last sentence is how money can be eaten, buy food. I don’t know if I have been of any help, but I gave you answers as best as I can. May God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen.

    • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 1:08 pm

      I am not making excuses, or trying to be negative. I am just telling you what my existence is.

    • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 2:02 pm

      Claim that you are rich in Jesus’ name. Don’t utter the words you are poor again. When you live in these countries where there is there is no light. 4 people sharing a box of a room. No shower. They still go to the back of their home to do #1 and #2…. outside, you would never call yourself poor again. 4 person Families living off $60 a month. Rebuke that word from your vocabulary.

      Try this renewal of the mind exercise. Any time you think anything negative, don’t speak it. Say the opposite.

      Thought: “I am poor.”
      Speak: “No! I am rich in the Lord because my God supplies all my needs according to His riches in glory. I claim it in Jesus’ name, Amen!”

      I studied in a 3rd world country. I’ve seen poor. Homes with dirt floors. Homes with tin roofs. Homes without doors. No running water inside the home. No toilet inside the home. When you see something like that,it changes you. That’s why I appreciate everything God has blessed me with.

      What’s so inspiring about that experience, these people with what we would call “nothing” are so content and grateful for the little they have.

      God has changed me by these experiences. That’s why I’m so positive.

      • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 2:12 pm

        The problem is that I know that God isn’t meeting all my needs. Meaning, purpose, direction are also needed but God isn’t meeting those needs. Man can’t live on daily bread alone. We need more than just being alive.

        • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 2:27 pm

          Are you meeting all your needs? Are you doing everything God requires from His followers? You have to do your part too.

          “Can’t be a part Christian looking for a full time God”

          Not to say that you’re a part time Christian but meaning you need to do your part as well.
          In 40 years of being saved, you haven’t read the Bible once. I’m really sorry if that sounds harsh, but I’m like that to myself too.
          I’m hard on myself when I know that I could be doing more for the Kingdom of God.

          The moment I stopped making excuses as to why I can’t do this or why I don’t have that, is when my life changed. I started living for God every second of the day. That’s when God showed up Full time!!!!

          I fast every week. I pray and talk to God every day. 30 times a day is an understatement. I write letters to God every day. I write out Bible verses to mediate on. I look up scripture at least 20 times a day. If I see the time is 10:27, I’ll pause whatever I’m doing, do a Google search: 10:27 Bible

          All day long I do this. I don’t let an hour pass by without doing something related to my Heavenly Father.

          • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 2:36 pm

            Does God not tell us that if we seek Him, He will meet us halfway. The way you are putting this is that I have to go all the way before God will get involved. How is that halfway.

        • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 2:50 pm

          Praise and worship is seeking him. Giving thanks for the life you have and not focusing on what you don’t have is seeking him. Being so in love with all that He has done for you us seeking him. Obedience is seeking him. Gaining Wisdom from the Word of God is seeking him. I’m not talking about works. I’m talking about love. I love God that’s why I hunger for more. I yearn to strengthen our connection. I don’t want my well to go dry. That’s why I engulf myself entire life to all things God. Not works. It’s my desire. It’s my life. It has become who I am. His will has become my will.

          Like I said, you asked what you were doing wrong? I don’t know. I’ve given you every detail of what I do. And I have gotten remarkable results. I will never stop what I’m doing because this relationship I have with God is magnificent! I want to continue nourishing and cultivating it.

          Take my advice if you want. If not, it’s your choice.

        • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 2:57 pm

          I have to go now. I’ll be praying for you. Take care of yourself. God bless you.

        • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 3:00 pm

          I’ve given you my email address. Use it if you choose to. I don’t have the energy to go back and forth with this anymore on this site. I’ve tried my best. I’ll leave the rest to God.

          • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 3:04 pm


          • Kenneth Gray on December 10, 2020 at 3:12 pm

            My phone only holds a small amount of messages, I’m afraid that I lost the email address.

  13. Joy on May 10, 2020 at 4:51 pm

    Prayer is a divine privilege given to truly converted people so we can seek His face and know Him. All the things peole seem so concerned with in this comment column are just that, things and circumstances they want God to change. What the true cry of our hearts should be is “Oh, God have mercy on me. Change ME and my selfish wicked heart. I want to know you, Lord.” He has promised that if we seek Him with all our heart (desiring nothing but Him) He will reveal Himself to us. I have found this to be always true, whenever my prayers are devoid of all self interest. He will give contentment and blessed assurance that is so deep we stop regarding our earthly life and see eternity. Only God has the power to change a heart like this.

    • Linda Mero on June 28, 2020 at 11:51 pm

      Thank you thank you for that oh boy it’s not about me being great. Shape me make me mould me hold me that’s why I came to Christ from the beginning and HE guided me to HIM I was beating my chest couldn’t change myself. You just reminded me of that I haven’t arrived. GOD bless you

  14. Kenneth Gray on March 30, 2020 at 5:20 am

    Alice H.,
    Yes, people are not going to church. Have you noticed how far from God’s word most churches have become. I personally don’t go because I can’t afford to pay my tithes. I only get paid once a month, so at 10% weekly adds up to 40% to 50% of my income per month. I am poor. Now please don’t think this is sexist or uncaring but another reason is that God says women aren’t to lead in ministry. No women pastors. Let’s not forget the taint of homosexuality in leadership roles in the church. Also women have strayed far from God’s word in attitude. Women today have come to think that they should do everything that men do. God says that women are to wives and mothers, and keep her husbands house. That she be busy at home not in the work force. Feminist Movement is anti God. Now I get to modesty. Look at how women dress these days, more skin showing than fabric. I have seen women in church wearing dresses that show more tit than is covered. I’m not trying to be a dick or misogynist, but just saying what God wants of women. Yes God did create men and women as equal in His sight, but gave them different roles in life. According to the Bible (God’s word), women’s calling is to stay home while the men go to work. Just my opinion that we need to return to the way God intended us to be. I personally don’t know any women that are not disgusted by God’s role for them. How many women do you know that would give up her job and fulfill God’s will. The church needs to get back to God’s intended way. Last is that many people see churches as greedy. Look at all the lavish decors, no church needs mahogany pews, expensive stained glass , gold trim, huge pipe organs, etc. Keep a humble and modest church, and spend the rest helping the poor as God wants us to do. How much does the Popes silk robes cost. How much wealth are churches hoarding. God Bless You Alice.

    • Suhyun Song on May 3, 2020 at 12:13 am

      John 16:24 says, “Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.”

      Jeremiah 29:12-13; “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

      John 5:15 – “And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”

      John 9:31 – “We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly person who does his will.”

      1 Peter 3:12 – “For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

      Psalm 66:17-20 – “I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and has heard my prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!”

    • Antonio Valencia on July 2, 2020 at 3:10 am

      You are spot on.. God bless you!!

    • Jess on July 5, 2020 at 4:44 pm

      It is supposed to be 10% of your income, so if you are always giving 10% then it’s going to be 10%. I just wanted to be sure to make that clear in case you misunderstood. Like 10% of 100$ is 10$…
      If you make 25$ a week you’d give $2.50. Times 4 that’s 10$ so no matter what it should always be 10%.

      • Joy Perew on July 5, 2020 at 7:18 pm

        Dear Jess, Kenneth, and Alice,
        Actually you are all totally off the hook with the whole “tithing” thing unless you are living under the old covenant. There is no tithe in the new covenant. We’ve been fed this lie for so long many have feelings like you three–like it is some kind of obligation we owe God. If you want to be changed by God, and to know God and to walk as Jesus walked, there is NO CHARGE. He does not want one penny from you, but He does want all of YOU–He wants your heart. He doesn’t want to be a part of your life. He will be your life itself or He will not. He sets the terms, not us. If you keep him on the fringes you will continually stumble over things like tithing, and you will never walk in newness of life. This is not about being forgiven and escaping hell. There really is a thing called the new birth, and you don’t get it because you want it or go forward or send a love-gift. You get it because He gives it to you. There is only one salvation and it is always free. Once He lives in you in the person of the Holy spirit, you are changed so much you are just looking for opportunities to give and pour out of yourself. If you don’t have this you are probably not born again. Find a church without a “program.” There are still a handful of them. Jesus never asked for money, Paul never asked for money (except to help the poor in Jerusalem during a famine). Believe it or not there are a few pastors out there who don’t ask for money either. Tithing is an old covenant practice which has been co-opted by the chruch/babylon by greedy, prideful men and women–who capitalize on the ignorance of the congregants (I can’t call them sheep, because these men are hardly shepherds.) Maybe they were taught wrong but the fact they are still perpetuating this concept shows me they are not seeking the Lord with all their hearts, because if they were, they would be repenting in dust and ashes for all the fleecing they have participated in over the years and start paying some of us back four-fold like Zacchaeus did. God always blesses a church that preaches His word uncompromisingly–this is very unlikely when they are preaching for a paycheck. But I’m not saying it is impossible. If your church has to “shut the doors” because people are not giving, it’s probably better that the doors be closed. Don’t buy into the OT tithing sales pitch. I’ve heard one preacher go so far as to say you open yourselves to demon possession if you don’t tithe. There is no end to the lengths lovers of money will go to get their hands on yours. Use your head, people, God doesn’t need our money. His body the church (the real church) doesn’t either. Individual members might, but that’s where we come in and can help and support in many ways when we know of a brother or sister who is struggling. This doesn’t need to go through an offering bag/bucket/plate. Just meet with the person and see how you can help, or include a deacon or elder in the conversation. If they just tell you to add to the coffers, run!
        I hope that was helpful to someone or many ones.

        • Kenneth Gray on July 6, 2020 at 2:00 pm

          Hi Joy,
          I have to disagree with you on this as Jesus said that He was here not to abolish God’s law but to fulfill it. To become the living law.
          I suggest you read the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells His disciples to follow God’s law. Thus Jesus didn’t nullify the OT , He came to make the law perfect. Yes Jesus did change somethings from Mosaic Law, but He says that we’re to still follow God’s commands in Mosaic Law. Thanks, and God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen

          • Joy on July 6, 2020 at 3:03 pm

            Well, Kenneth,

            As long as you are finding freedom, and joy, fellowship in the Spirit, and supernatural transformation doing what your are doing, go for it. If living waters are flowing from you to others and others to you. That’s what God had in mind for the body of Christ. If you find great joy and not bondage in trying to keep the laws that He came to fulfill, have at it. All I can say, is, good luck with that!


          • W. Taylor on September 22, 2020 at 5:12 am

            What is the mosaic law ? What was tithe and how did it become money ? Can money be eaten ? (I’m confused)

      • Kenneth Gray on July 6, 2020 at 7:38 am

        Hi Jess,
        You said that it’s always 10%. You are right, I understand that 10% of $25 per week is $2.50.
        That is a weekly pay period. Now if you are paid monthly, the above would be $100 per month, 10% is $10. Week 1 – $10 Week 2 – $10 Week 3 – $10 Week 4 – $10, average month, Week 5 – $10, extended month. As you can see when only paid by the month, the tithes add up to $40 to $50 per month. 10% every week. Yearly pay period is even more expensive. Above example of $100 per month equals $1,200 per year. Now 10% of $1,200 is $120. Thus $120 × 52 weeks is $6,240 tithes for the year. As you see being paid by the year is impossible to pay your tithes. I was taught this by a pastor of a church. He said that in order to pay less tithes you would have to change how often you get paid. Does this explain the difference between tithes and how often you get paid. Thanks Jess and God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen.

        • Joy Perew on July 6, 2020 at 2:17 pm

          My gooness, Kenneth! Where are you getting this garbage? Ten percent of $100 is $10 PERIOD! And if the payments spread out over four weeks or 31 days, it is still only $10 NOT $40 OR $50 like you told Alice. In case nobody caught it, what Kenneth is talking about is that Alice should give 10% of $100 (total monthly income) the first week or the month, and 10% of $100 (still total monthly income) the second week of the month, and 10% of $100 (still total monthly income) the third week and also the fourth, toalling $40 which is 40% of her total monthly income. So basically every time she enters the church building she should pay the same ten percent on the same $100, over and over and over. No decent human being would try to convice Alice she needs to give away ANY of her money (not even 10%) when she is living on minimal income such as she is. Only greedy hirelings do stuff like this “in the name of Jesus.”
          This is totally unbliblical, and for Alice’s benefit, she should know if she wants to give, God himself will direct her how and where to give . . . and it probably won’t be money at all. It is a work He does in one’s heart. It is not meant to be a directive from the pulpit. There are ZERO examples of NT apostles, prophets, pastors, evenaglists, or teachers doing what you are suggesting; the tithe is essentially an old testament tax to feed the Levites. Twist it as you will, the fact is, that IS what it is. God wants our hearts–but like typical self-centered parents these days, we give Him trinkets (money) instead of our lives. Children of money & gift-giving parents instictively know this is not real love, and do you think God (who is infinitely wiser than a small child) is fooled by this? Jesus HATES this and is offended by it. Church is definitely a spectator event for most people, but be that as it may, there is still NEVER any admission fees. You should be ashamed of yourself, telling poor Alice she is obligated to give money she doesn’t even HAVE. The people in her church should be helping her, bless her heart, trying to make ends meet with a fixed income which is likely pretty small. This will be my last post on this site. I’m a bit disappointed to be honest.

          • Kenneth Gray on July 6, 2020 at 2:37 pm

            Hi Joy,
            I’m not recommending that any poor person should give more than possible. I myself live on a fixed income, well below the poverty line. All I was doing was stating the way I was taught, by clergy, how tithing works. Tell me if I’m wrong.
            As for tithing being Old Testament tax for the Levites, well yes it was. God commanded us to tith to the church. Jesus told us to follow the Law of God. Thus the Old Testament command to tith is still active, just like the 10 Commandments.

    • rico on July 30, 2020 at 4:58 pm

      Hey Ken, I have been looking for you. What’s your FB account?

    • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 3:10 pm

      Romans 16:3: “Give my greetings to Priscilla and Aquila, my co-workers in the ministry of Christ Jesus.”

    • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 3:21 pm

      Judges 4:4-5 ESV
      Now Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, was judging Israel at that time. She used to sit under the palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the people of Israel came up to her for judgment.

      Romans 16:1-2
      I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the church at Cenchreae, that you may welcome her in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints, and help her in whatever she may need from you, for she has been a patron of many and of myself as well.

      Luke 2:36-38
      And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years, having lived with her husband seven years from when she was a virgin, and then as a widow until she was eighty-four. She did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day. And coming up at that very hour she began to give thanks to God and to speak of him to all who were waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem.

      Esther 4:12-17
      And they told Mordecai what Esther had said. Then Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, “Do not think to yourself that in the king’s palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai, “Go, gather all the Jews to be found in Susa, and hold a fast on my behalf, and do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my young women will also fast as you do. Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish.”

      Exodus 15:20
      Then Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a tambourine in her hand, and all the women went out after her with tambourines and dancing.

      Philippians 4:2-3
      I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.

      Acts 21:9
      He had four unmarried daughters, who prophesied.

      2 Kings 22:14-17
      So Hilkiah the priest, and Ahikam, and Achbor, and Shaphan, and Asaiah went to Huldah the prophetess, the wife of Shallum the son of Tikvah, son of Harhas, keeper of the wardrobe (now she lived in Jerusalem in the Second Quarter), and they talked with her. And she said to them, “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel: ‘Tell the man who sent you to me, Thus says the Lord, Behold, I will bring disaster upon this place and upon its inhabitants, all the words of the book that the king of Judah has read. Because they have forsaken me and have made offerings to other gods, that they might provoke me to anger with all the work of their hands, therefore my wrath will be kindled against this place, and it will not be quenched.

    • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 3:47 pm

      Do you know that the Proverbs 31 woman is a businesswoman as well? Outside of the home. She’s an
      entrepreneur, And from the money she makes from her business, she uses it to purchase land. She’s a landowner as well.

      This is why I read the Bible daily. For wisdom.

    • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 3:52 pm

      The Bible mentions women who worked in commercial trade (Prov. 31:16a, 24; Acts 16:14), in agriculture (Josh. 15:17-19; Ruth 2:8; Prov. 31:16b), as millers (Exod. 11:5; Matt. 24:41), as shepherds (Gen. 29:9; Exod. 2:16), as artisans, especially in textiles (Exod. 26:1 NIV; Tobit 2:11ff NRSV; Acts 18:3), as perfumers and cooks (1 Sam. 8:13), as midwives (Exod. 1:15ff), as nurses (Gen. 35:8; Exod. 2:7; 2 Sam. 4:4; 1 Kings 1:4), as domestic servants (Acts 12:13, etc), and as professional mourners (Jer. 9:17). Women could also be patrons (Acts 16:40; Rom. 16:1-2), leaders (Judg. ch 4-5; 2 Sam. 20:16) and ruling queens (1 Kings 10:1ff; Acts 8:27). One Bible woman even built towns (1 Chron. 7:24). Many women, and men, worked from home, yet the Bible nowhere criticises women who worked outside the home in the public sphere.

    • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 4:07 pm

      waiting4godstime (at) gmail (dot) com

      The site would allow me to enter it the proper way.

    • Joy O. on December 10, 2020 at 4:25 pm

      “I only get paid once a month, so at 10% weekly adds up to 40% to 50% of my income per month.”

      It’s not 10% weekly. It’s 10% of your once a month income.

      If you get $1000 a month, you tithe $100. Leaving you with $900.

    • Joy O. on December 13, 2020 at 6:41 am

      “Does God not tell us that if we seek Him, He will meet us halfway. The way you are putting this is that I have to go all the way before God will get involved. How is that halfway.”

      Why wouldn’t you want to go all the way for Jesus who died for us? Saying you’re a Christian is not giving your life to Christ. We are called to live a life of Christ. Imitate Jesus. Live life like He lived. How many times a day do you think Jesus talked to God? How many times do you think He fasted? How many times a day did He pray for others? Every thing Jesus did glorified our Heaven Father AT ALL TIMES. We are called to do the same. Not out of religious obligation, but out of love, appreciation, joy, worship & thanksgiving.

      If you would [diligently] seek God And implore the compassion and favor of the Almighty, Then, if you are pure and upright, Surely now He will awaken for you And restore your righteous place. Though your beginning was insignificant, Yet your end will greatly increase.
      Job 8:5‭-‬7 AMP

      Change the way you’ve previously lived as a Christian and you’ll get the results you’ve been looking for. You can’t expect God to give you this great assignment and purpose if you haven’t first established a relationship with Him. Your relationship with God must be the most important relationship in your life. You must spend more time with Him than you spend time with anyone else or doing anything else. You must become less so he becomes greater in your life. You must desire to seek him every minute of the day. You must love Him with a never-ending love. You must yearn to know Him more than yourself. He must Become your everything forsaking all other things in your life first. He must become your first love. The more you built your relationship with Jesus as His lover and bride, He will show up in a way that will bring tears to your eyes in the most beautiful way.

      The Holy Spirit moved me to message you again. There’s a reason.


      If I were you, take notes of the tips I’ve given you. Your life will change for the best. My surely did. I cannot even go 30 minutes without praising, praying to or worshiping God. He is too wonderful for me not to! If I don’t, my life feels incomplete. There’s a void when I don’t engulf myself in the Lord. A disconnect. Now that I’m so connected, I never want to risk Him going silent. It’s a desire for me to go all the way for Jesus, not halfway, and definitely not do the bare minimum to simply call myself a Christian. I desire to live just like Christ! Do everything like Christ! I want to grow every single day as a Christian, gaining more and more wisdom for the one who died for my sins. I want everything that comes out of my mouth to be pleasing to God. I want everything I do to be pleasing to God. I never want to do or say anything that grieves the Holy Spirit of God. Never!!! That’s why it is my greatest desire to do everything in life for Christ.

      If it’s difficult for you to remember to spend time with God, starting a schedule works. The same way you would schedule an important meeting on your calendar, schedule your meetings with God too. Set alarms and reminders on your phones telling you it’s time to pray or read your Bible. At first it may seem like routine or that you’re just going through the motions, but once you keep at it, you start looking forward to it without even scheduling it.

      For example:
      – The first 15 minutes I wake up, I give thanks & pray.

      – I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, then go back to bed, and spend the next 45 minutes reading along with the Bible in audio.

      – Shower, get dressed and go about my day.

      – Throughout my day, every hour that follows, I use the last 5-10 minutes of that hour to pray, read scripture, listen to a quick sermon on YouTube, listen to a worship song, write out a quick prayer, write out something nice that happened in that hour and give thanks to God.

      I do this every hour throughout my day without fail.

      Try it. It has worked wonders for me. You’ll notice a shift in the atmosphere. It will change your life. I guarantee it.

      • Kenneth Gray on December 13, 2020 at 1:40 pm

        I didn’t say that going all in for God is bad thing or not necessary. I just mentioned that God promised to meet us half way. If we have to go all the way first, before God “shows up” then that appears as God not keeping His promise. The Bible says that God always keeps His promises. You say that we have to build our relationship with God first. A relationship can only be built with two way communication. So how can I build this relationship if God won’t communicate. Before you say the Bible and prayer. First, the Bible doesn’t speak. It is an inanimate object, it’s not alive. The dictionary gives you “information”, the Bible gives “information” ,the only difference is the content. I have never heard anyone say that the dictionary is alive and speaks. The Bible is just a guide book. People say that when reading the Bible, and a verse jumps out at you, that is the Bible speaking. That doesn’t happen for me, the Bible is as silent as any other book. From my perspective the Bible is even quieter than other books. I read a fantasy (fiction) book and I can almost see what the author is saying. I read the Bible and I see nothing, it is just words on paper. I have asked God to bring the Bible to “life” for me so that it isn’t so monotonous. That I might be able to better understand His book, but alas God hasn’t done that. If God wants me to know Him, He is making that extremely difficult, impossible. Between the Bible not “speaking” to me and God remaining silent, there is no communication on God’s part. As I said you need two way communication to create a relationship. I can pray and talk to God until I die, but without any response from God the communication is only one way. The relationship one sided. So without God communicating I don’t know how to form a relationship with Him. I can’t really get to know God without communication of some sort. I am up to Jeremiah 32 in my reading. The new glasses make it a little easier. So, do you know how to form a relationship without communication?
        Thanks and may God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen.

        • Joy O. on December 13, 2020 at 6:15 pm

          I wish you the best. I pray your faith journey gives you the results you want. God bless you.

  15. Alice Holland on March 30, 2020 at 3:24 am

    I’m sorry to say to you that prayer DOES work and I feel very sad that so many Christians of today have no Belief or understanding of God and His Promises. I have been to local churches where I wonder why they are there because Belief is just missing . In my day Christians Believed and had their prayers answered. I have been with Him for 53 years and in all that time He has never let me down and I certainly wouldn’t be alive without all His answers to prayers of healing and all my troubles

    • Joy O. on December 13, 2020 at 6:45 am


  16. Kenneth Gray on March 28, 2020 at 10:42 pm

    I hear what you are saying, but the fact that none of my prayers have ever received a Yes answer. Even when they are according to God’s will, from the Bible. I am constantly seeing testimonies of people that had their prayers answered, heard God speak to them, felt God’s presence. Here are a few of my unanswered prayers; – I prayed for my grandmother to get better after her stroke. Instead of healing from God, she had another even bigger stroke and died. – I prayed that my family would be brought back together after my parents split up. That didn’t happen, my father is on his 9th or 10th wife, I’ve lost count. – I prayed for God to stop the abuse my stepfather inflicted on my mother. She ended up with minor brain damage from the beatings. – I’ve prayed for God to deliver me from poverty. Still in poverty 40 years after turning to God through Jesus. – I prayed for healing for my mother when she got cancer. It spread through her whole body before she died a horrible painful death. – I’ve prayed for God to show me how to live a good life. All I’ve endured is a worthless existence. I have failed at everything I ever done to try and live a decent life. These don’t include the numerous prayers for wisdom, understanding, clarity, etc. The Bible says that only does good for us, I just don’t see any evidence of God doing anything to help me. For the last couple of months I have been trying to figure out how to get a skid/pallet of Bibles to give to the poor and needy in my city. Even though I asked God for help with this, all I keep getting is doors slammed in my face. (metaphorically speaking) I am poor and can’t afford the $7000 – $10000 dollars (quotes) to buy the Bibles. That doesn’t count shipping costs. If God won’t even help me spread His word, I don’t know what to think. Is my desire to glorify God wrong?

    • Stephen prine on March 28, 2020 at 11:22 pm

      That brought me to tears, I’m so sorry for your pain and loss, I cant answer those questions I wish I could. As for the bibles, maybe do a blog, or maybe write scripture study and read it, pass it on to people you see, stop by and do bible study to homeless people who don’t get to read bible, I’ve given bibles of my own,away just because the people didn’t have money on buy them, maybe buy one here and one there pass them along, if it saves just one life isn’t that worth more than 7000- 10000 that may not save any? You seem to have a good heart to help people, but think on the woman who was tithing, everyone gave 10% maybe more, but that one woman have penny, Jesus said she gave more because she have all she had. It’s not about how much it’s about giving all, not meaning go give all your money away, but it’s about giving even when you cant. Knowing that you don’t store treasures,here. I’m praying to find the words to help you because I truly do understand your pain, I do. Sometimes God gives us a way we just don’t see it, sometimes the world will give us a way and we let that consume us thinking it’s God’s way but compare it to scripture, pray that God gives you power to heal, power to speak into the chaos, pray for strength, but pray for the peace and not the understanding, sometimes the peace allows you to hear him speak. I have a personal email if you would like to keep in contact, I have a minister friend who is far beyond me when it comes to understanding things which he has taught me alot of the peace of God. Which first I think you need, my opinion, no offense I’m in need of it to, some moments I find it some are harder to. It’s the valley we all walk through. Sometimes we get beaten down to think we will never overcome our shame, guilt, wrongs we face, poverty, health, hunger, strife. But read thessalonians pray for God to let his word speak to you. That church was the poorest in those times, shacks where water poured in, but they found their faith. Read that and pray on it, find you some scripture, maybe write on index cards or keep a little journal and when you feel like all is lost,read some word pray and meditate. It’s not always about money, food, jobs, shelter, it’s about faith, it’s about a testimony, it’s about love, hope, dedication in the word. It’s about showing others God’s grace, you just gave me your testimony, but in all that you went through what was the outcome? You still believe, you still pray, you still seek him..why? Because you know he’s there, you don’t give up and neither has he, your alive,fed,paid,sheltered,healthy I assume, and you have learned from others mistakes to not do what they did. So in reality your blessed, do this next 30 days, pray, and give thanks only for what you have, don’t ask for anything just give thanks study and meditate on his word, give moments of silence, fasting helps, it shows God that your wanting his will to be done in your life, it shows God your determined to build that relationship with him, to comune,to give thanks, to seek him above all else not for yourself but to give him glory. One of my favorite scriptures is ” therefore I do not run aimlessly, I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing, no I train mind and body, in fear, that after preaching to others I myself may be disqualified.” Don’t give up my friend, I’ll keep you in my prayers,

      • Jasmine Roper on April 14, 2020 at 9:32 am

        Stephen your response (March 28,2020 @ 11:22pm) helped me in ways that I can’t put into words. Thank you.

        • Stephen prine on April 14, 2020 at 10:06 am

          @jasmine. I don’t know if you should thank me, I appreciate it but I was just helping, I guess maybe God speaks through others….but glad it helped 🙂

      • Kenneth Gray on April 26, 2020 at 1:03 pm

        I have been trying to just thank God just because He is God as you suggested. It still isn’t bringing me any peace. I recently received a bonus from the government, so I put some on paying down my debt a little, the rest was spent on making care packages for the homeless. I was able to make 8 packages only and after giving them away I felt like a piece of crap because I couldn’t help the other two dozen other homeless people that I saw that morning. I’ve been told that helping even one person is better than none. Why does helping a few people only feel so bad? I thought that helping people was supposed to make you feel good not bad. Thanks and God Bless You.

      • Joy Perew on July 6, 2020 at 2:34 pm

        Have you ever heard the concept of dying to self? If you pray for God to teach you about that, I guarantee He will answer that prayer (like John the Baptist, that “I might decrease and He might increase”. But be ready for a lot of chastening (the Father chastens those He loves). All those things you wrote about above? Not chastening. Chastening is MUCH harder. Dying to self and getting set free from self-pity or self-aggrandizement is a lot harder than enduring a sickness, a death, poverty, homelessness, or even unanswered prayers. No matter how many prayers you pray, you should know that God is not interested in changing your earthly circumstances. He wants to change YOU. That is why He sent His son to die; so He could transform you into His image. Clinging to things in this life will never do.
        I hope you figure this out soon.
        God has things prepared for those who love Him (really love Him — more than themselves) that are more glorious, and more satisfying, and more effective than anything you can imagine.

        • Kenneth Gray on July 6, 2020 at 3:33 pm

          Yes , to give up on everything you are. Leave everything to God and not worry about it. To not be human. Not have any feelings about anything. Leave every hope in the garbage. Never expect anything from God, because he sent Jesus to die for us, our sins. Just give up. I shouldn’t have dreams, hope,, happiness, contentment, peace of mind or piece of mind.
          No one deserves a decent life because God doesn’t care about this life. Is that what you mean. Be nothing, have nothing and be happy about it. Suck it up! I don’t know if this is your take on things. As far as changing us to be like Jesus, that is impossible as only Jesus can be Jesus. We are all sinners and will never be like Jesus in this world. I guess that the glorious, satisfying, effective thing God has for me is endless poverty without purpose. A grand life don’t you agree. Thanks and God Bless You

          • Joy on July 6, 2020 at 6:06 pm

            Dear Kenneth,

            Please stop whining. You MUST BE BORN AGAIN. There is nothing in anything you wrote that evidences that you are. As long as you keep deceiving yourself and insisting you are then the chances of your ever actually experiencing the new birth are pretty slim. Because what you are describing to me is bondage to sin and bitterness towards God and man. Trust me, this is NOT what He died to give you.

            You need to get on your face before Him and cry out for mercy and tell Him the truth, how you are not at all satisfied with Christianity as you are experiencing it now, and if there is more to it than this, and if you really want to know Him (which will mean giving up the pity parties and enjoying sypmathy from others), CRY OUT to the God who IS (not the God of your imagination) and He WILL save you. He promises if you truly seek Him with all your 100% heart, and with no lingering ulterior motives, He will let you find Him. I hope someday, Jesus is not just “the” Lord, but YOUR Lord, your forerunner, your brother, your friend, your bridegroom and your blessed Redeemer and the joy of your life. From everything I read, you are still dead in your trespasses and sin. Try watcing some Brother Zac Poonen; that might help you a bit.

            You have not a whole lot to lose and an infinite amount to gain. But it is not up to YOU, it is all Him. And I’m talking the real God — not hte one you have learned about in yoiur life so far.

            I”m leaving this site now. Too many people with too small views of God and too much focus on the here and now.


    • Mary Cates on April 26, 2020 at 7:18 am

      Kenneth, you really are mixed up about God and prayer. You forget who is the supreme being. It’s not you. God will always do what He wants to do in any given situation. What moves His heart and may changes His mind is our relinquishment of our will to His. Quit kicking against the goads. Let God have His way and accept it as the best outcome….which you will understand when you stand before Him. You are miserable and unhappy because you are a baby in Christ, still drinking milk instead of dining on the meat marycatesauthor.com

      • Kenneth Gray on April 26, 2020 at 12:21 pm

        Mary Cates,
        I know that God will do whatever God wants to. You inferred by your comments that you don’t think I believe in God. 40+ years of never having a prayer answered but still turning to God; to me that shows that my faith in God is still there. Because I don’t understand why God favors some people but doesn’t seem to ever include me. I am trying to understand why is all. I’m struggling at this time to continue to hold this crap life reconciled to God and His apparent lack of interest in my life. I’m sorry if you can’t understand were I’m coming from. May God Bless You.

        • Joy on July 6, 2020 at 2:37 pm

          With all due respect to your 40+ years of “believing.” There is a ETERNAL difference between “believing” and being genuinely born again. Hell is full of “believers”. Seek THE NEW BIRTH.

          • Kenneth Gray on July 6, 2020 at 3:49 pm

            I gave myself to God through Jesus a long time ago. I have actually been baptized twice. Jesus is the Lord. I will never believe otherwise. Yes I am a born again Christian. That doesn’t mean I’m not human, and don’t have earthly needs. We all do. It might be me but I need more than just being alive to experience pain and hardship. Thanks again and God Bless You

    • Suhyun Song on May 2, 2020 at 11:44 pm

      Romans 8:18
      I am sure what we are suffering now cannot compare with the glory that will be shown to us.

    • Bill on May 23, 2020 at 11:29 am

      First and foremost Jesus is concerned for our salvation. He tells us how we find Salvation through him. These challenging times in your life would likely be an opportunity to bring someone to Christ. Sometimes these difficult events are wake-up calls an Open Door . Questions to think about, if your father had found Christ would he likely have stayed married to the same woman? Did you attempt to bring Christ into his life? Your grandmother, our concern here is her salvation. Was she saved? If she was saved she is in heaven now experiencing no pain and we rejoice. If your stepfather found Christ he likely would no longer beat your mom. If your mother were saved she wouldn’t marry someone not. See the focuses are not circumstances and the end cure for all things is Jesus, we only rest fully restored in heaven. A christ-centered life starts with Christ. The Glorious eternal life starts with Christ. Focus is Jesus. Eternal life is Jesus. Focusing on Jesus in your life is everything. Seek ye first kingdom of God and all these other things will be added unto you. God wants as many people as possible to receive His word for folks to learn about His son. If you are not permitted to distribute Bibles to homeless folks I would check myself. For whatever reason you may not be an acceptable vessel. Only you know what it is. Unconfessed sin? Involved in a sinful life? I pray for you.

  17. Kenneth Gray on March 28, 2020 at 9:20 pm

    I do try to be thankful for this crap life. I find it hard tell what to thank God for. Example– I was told that I should thank God for receiving my disability income, but did God have anything to do with it. God gave people free will to make their own decisions. So the people who authorized my disability made a choice, not God. Because of free will God doesn’t make people do anything. So should I thank God for that or the people who made the decision.. Did God build the building I reside in? No, people built it. Am I to thank God for something that He didn’t do, or do I thank the people who built the building for putting a roof over my head. As for opening my eyes and ears to God; I have spent decades listening and looking with no hint, sign, word. Absolutely nothing that I can comprehend. The Bible (his word) doesn’t speak, its not God’s voice. When God spoke to Moses his voice was heard audibly. That is God’s voice, not the Bible. God’s voice and his word are two separate things. Inanimate objects (Bible) don’t speak. Sitting in silence listening for God reveals nothing but silence. But enough, as I tend to babble on and on. Thanks and God Bless you.

    • Stephen prine on March 28, 2020 at 9:41 pm

      Well, yes people granted the disability, but they didn’t have to, out of their good heart rather it be laws or not it was granted. I know people who applied for food stamps only to get denied but did need them, then people who lie to recieve benefits, I can’t point fingers there we all lie. But you did recieve it, so give thanks not because you feel he literally gave it to you but because you have it. That building if someone didn’t build it to shelter people you wouldn’t have it, so give thanks that you do have shelter not because he built it but because you do have shelter, I guess maybe I’m different, I give thanks not because I think God built something or approved something but because I believe that once I pray for it it’s done I have it. Sometimes it goes the other way, but it all works together for his good. And his good is to make your life good, he never wants bad for you, people choose to do bad to you, or people choose to make life harder, but it’s genuinely not the person per say, just emotions or resentment then after the fact most people feel like crap for what they do, say, feel, or act upon. That’s where forgiveness comes in. Let’s hypothetically say, God stopped listening,working,or speaking…. now would the world still turn? Maybe, would people still live if God said I’m gonna go on standby and let them figure it out, yes, would it be a delightful world to live in? Probably not, you gotta understand where God is, and maybe not say where he isnt, cause in reality if you believe like I’m sure you do, he’s everywhere. And everyone has an opinion, but the bible is God’s word, it’s a spoken word, it was written down so people could live by it, his son sent to live it, prophets sent to prophecy it, all relates. So maybe try this, in your prayers, read scripture that pertains to what your going through, a story an example, something then pray on it with your circumstance. His word is their to guide you when you do not see the light, read it, it changes things but it could be subtle, it could be something you wait for, but you have to have faith without doubt that it will work. Trust me man I get it, I’m going through things myself and it’s easier to preach in what I know works than it is practicing it, it’s a battle man, it never stops. The devil seeks to destroy, and will try his best to overcome your, prayers your faith, but you can’t give up, never did God ever say give up. He said keep fighting the good fight of faith and hold onto the eternal promise in which you have. People don’t give him thanks enough, they like to say it’s because I put forth the effort that I won, because I worked harder I got a promotion, because I did this or that, instead of thanking the Lord and humbling themselves. Sometimes, we give up on our battles because we think it’s impossible or because God can’t do it, nothings impossible my friend. Just have faith and pray. It does say nothing pleases God more than faith, so whatever you have a need for, let God search your heart, every need is provided. And your not babbling your venting, that’s what an ear is for is to listen and help each other when we need it. Provide the maybe unanswered prayer we think we never got…. I hope I’ve helped in some way….I’m always open to listen.

  18. Maxine on February 4, 2020 at 12:10 pm

    Stop trying to figure out God. He is omnipresent, omniscience, omnipotent, his thoughts and ways are beyond our comprehension. You cannot read persons mind, hearts or inner being, please stop telling people to stop communicating with God in the only way they know how. At least they are trying to have a relationship with God and share his word and the best way they can. STOP!

    • Stephen prine on March 28, 2020 at 8:02 pm

      To Kenneth gray,
      I’m not sure how to write this, believe me I’ve been there, I prayed awhile for things in my life and nothing really worked out like I wanted and yes, at times it can be deterring and almost take away faith from your life. But these last couple years I have been doing things differently in my life, my prayer has changed and I’m not saying to boss God, but sometimes you have to read the word of God, not saying you dont. But I know it’s written long time ago, but the meaning is still there, the spirit is still there, each time you read a verse it speaks differently. Job is good example, bet he had the thoughts we all had/have of giving up but He spoke good of the Lord because he knew the Lord was righteous, he knew that his judgement was just. Not knowing that it was a test to prove satan wrong, but he did. Our lives are that way, yes job prayed for answer after answer for any information as to why it was happening. Do not fret, sometimes the best prayers are silence, sometimes you just have to be still and let God speak to you through his spirit. I’ve done this, sometimes it works, sometimes I just feel peace which in any case is all we need, just a peace that allows us to make a sometimes different choice in the matter.so whatever your going through pray, but be still, or just don’t speak, just sit in silence and listen to the Lord speak. Open your eyes to the Lord, your ears to the Lord and your heart. I could list alot of scripture pertaining to this but it’s true. Sometimes the devil will also hit us even through our fellow christians who don’t even know they are being used for that. Sometimes we can pray all day and then completely miss what he has given us, I’ve done it. But maybe if we had taken the time to give thanks for what we did have and humble ourselves against the things we didn’t have or didn’t really need cause were alive today to speak. I do not mean any offense to you in the least, just my opinion. Sometimes we miss things, I know I can get frustrated alot by remembering times I was done wrong, or taken advantage of and never knew it, but I also look back and think well, if I didn’t help that person who would have. Rather they took advantage of me or not, God still used me to come to a need. They could see it as a blessing or laugh and say we got him. That’s on them, I know the Lord was happy that I met a need. So yes sometimes prayer doesn’t work in the sense that we see it, but your prayers are usually answered the moment you ask, you just have to have faith they are.

  19. Irl on December 31, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    Interesting how only a few comments in general and SO many in 2019. Or maybe I just missed some on the way. I was shocked at the bottom of this article finding out this was written over 3 years ago. How time flies. Getting to the point. All of what you say Carey is correct. Some may not agree to your vernacular. It doesn’t matter it’s a good read and things that should be taken to heart. In the scriptures it even states what comes out of our mouth can, as they say today, “kill or cure”. Speaking from experience I took hold of my Christian life and changed more directions in churches than The Rockies have mountains…. It’s been a painful ride. I’ve seen more pain than a person should. I’ve experienced pain more than a person should. None of us should but it happens. When I get to Heaven I want to meet Job. Not the Apostle Paul…Job. Yes I’m going to Heaven. John 3:16. Enough said.

    I have seen great miracles, healing, demons cast out, addictions stopped, etc. Regardless there is MUCH more bad than good in this world. Listen to the news for 15 minutes. There’s your answer. Emotional Christianity is a dog and pony show. There are many churches and sadly many pastors that encourage that. Jesus, who is supposed to be our example, was emotional twice. Once in the Temple and once for his friend Lazarus. So I don’t see a reason to be emotional in church when 99% of church goers don’t get emotionally joyful the rest of the week in their homes, on the street, in the stores, at work or anywhere else for that matter. Most times it a very negative emotion the next day at the neighbor’s dog, or the traffic, etc.

    I’m no saint by any means but in my neighborhood we all need saving many times for the dumb (bad) things we say. I could write many books and if given the inclination speak on the garbage our society spews daily and churches spew back. THE most critical organization in the world is the church. Ask any hardluck person trying to make a positive influence and they will tell you Christians were the worse critic. What’s the answer? Honesty with God and mostly ourselves. Christians are to share the Gospel not their Glory slinging. Honesty! A non christian will more appreciate our weaknesses and failures and trials and finally successes and real joy within. Then they will see the truth…not the dog and pony show. How did God mold our lives to a better person, better relationships, and find peace even in the midst of potential total loss? There is the real witness of God’s love.

    So I just bashed the church aka Christians. Meh. Not the church but the negative actions. My hero Billy Graham once said speak with your heart not your mouth to God.. (personal experience not a famous quote) I think there are a few scriptures on that. It’s a foot in mouth epidemic. Christians are inherently good and many very good hearted people. (New creation, slate wiped clean, better reason to live…you get the hint) Right intentions don’t always bring right speaking. Maybe we all need more prayer time for “that” wisdom James speaks of in his first Chapter.

    Many will read this and find a reason to disagree to my opinion here. Oh well. At least I did find a good reason to post this. I have learned many hard lessons in life and lost too much to say. Yet in the midst of finding a reason to end the misery… I found the Peace of God and a reason to live. Ironically in a time and place I never expected. To those who believe in the Eternal God and His sovereignty go to His court and present your petitions with your heart! Jesus is your mediator and your witness is his shed blood. He is the reason for all the seasons of our lives. On this New Years eve…for those who have a great need I write Peace to you and God grant you your petitions. For all else I wish the same and a Happy New Year to all.

  20. Kenneth Gray on October 18, 2019 at 1:34 am

    I think people should stop saying God cares and wants to help. If God wants to help I believe He would, but who can say they actually got anything from God, no one. I’ve been praying for 4 decades and not a peep from God, and believe me I’ve been listening. Only silence can be heard and prayers not answered observed. Thank you for the opportunity to say my piece.

    • burningfeet on February 13, 2020 at 3:27 pm

      I agree with Kenneth Gray’s comment! I started praying 42 years ago and Kenneth summed things up rather nicely! I don’t any longer believe those who claim that God cares and wants to help!

    • Kenneth Gray on February 13, 2020 at 9:28 pm

      I believe that this comment was taken out of context. I was trying to say that nobody knows what God wants. Telling people that God wants to help them, and then God doesn’t help. This is hurtful. Telling people that God answers prayers to only see their prayers dashed against the rocks. This is hurtful. Telling people to trust in God, just to watch their lives crumble. I just don’t think that anyone should have be fed false hope. God is God. None of us can know how God thinks or acts, so stop telling people what God wants to do or what God thinks. I believe in God and Jesus, but I am not arrogant enough to say I know anything about them. The Bible was written long after the facts , thus is a useful tool. The Bible was passed by word of mouth, memory changes over time. Thus the Bible probably isn’t 100% accurate, meaning we can’t know God’s will that way. Like I said before, I can’t make God do anything God doesn’t want to do.
      God Bless Everyone (hopefully)

      P.S. – sorry to anyone that may have been offended by my comments. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.

      • M.Burrell on February 22, 2020 at 2:38 pm

        It is okay do not worry God warned us about you before you were ever born. He told me through his word that in the last days scoffers would come. How true is his Word (2 Peter 3:3-4) Jude 1:18. (Acts 13:41) (PROV 9:8) (Prov 9:7)

        • Kenneth Gray on February 22, 2020 at 3:26 pm

          I am not scoffing anything. I’m just trying to understand why Mr. Burrell. I’m constantly being told what God wants and that God’s will is unknowable. If God’s will is unknowable how can anyone say what God wants. It seems to be a contradiction. I’m trying to figure out how two opposing statements can be true at the same time. As far as prayers go, I’m trying to discern why God seems to be ignoring my prayers. I’m sorry if you can’t understand that from the perspective of someone who has never had a prayer answered, prayer apparently doesn’t work. I would love to be able to say that prayer works. But I’ve not seen any evidence that would prove that prayers work. I see lots of testimonies about God actually answering people’s prayers, how I long for that. Personally I think that an answered prayer would go a long way to giving me some hope. I’m not trying to tear down God, I’m lost and God is silent. It’s tough when God is the only one you can turn to and God appears to be absent. God Bless You

  21. Wanda Leroy on September 7, 2019 at 1:15 pm

    Most of the ‘phrases’ mentioned above that people say are used to impress others of their Christianity or some level they think that they have achieved. God help us. Pride plays way too much in our conversations when speaking about our faith. People look for approval or some level of position.. when that is not what it is about. Prayer is a ‘meeting’ place, and God is sovereign.

  22. Alove on August 9, 2019 at 11:11 am

    The “God told me…” thing gets out of hand so quickly. Someone claimed that God told them who I would marry. I held onto that for a year and watched him marry someone else. I did pray about it while I waited, but the end result proved this person was false. I definitely want to be more cautious of that in the future.

    However, I can think of one situation that was a “God told me” moment that sounded crazy. I was working a job that was very physically demanding. The pay was below minimum wage with horrible tips. I could hardly walk by the end of the day and the hours were long. I prayed about it consistently for a while. I was getting advice from coworkers telling me to quit, because our long hours didn’t give me or others who decided to quit much time to interview for other jobs. One day I came to work and had decided to quit that week. Then I heard God speak so clearly in my spirit telling me not to quit or look for a job. I was to stay where I was for a little longer. A peace came over me and I was confident that I heard him even though it didn’t makes sense. How could I find another job if I don’t look? About two weeks later someone came into my job who worked in Human Resources at a news station. She said they needed a new administrative assistant. She gave me her email and said to send her my resume in two weeks after her vacation was over. After two weeks I sent it, she got me an interview, and by that Friday I was told I had the job. On Monday I turned in a letter or resignation to my current job and started my new one that day! We should not approach hearing the voice of God with doubt and skepticism. We should pray for discernment because when God does speak we don’t want to miss it.

  23. Nope on July 19, 2019 at 1:23 pm

    Nope. If praying for life, health, healing isn’t good enough for God, who supposedly loves us, then no. I’m fighting for my life here. How can a loving Father not support that? Don’t tell me things will get better. This has been a life long waiting to die because I can’t do anything, life at 55 years enduring it. No. No love, no drawing near, no compassion, no help.

    • M Burrell on February 22, 2020 at 2:48 pm

      You should the book of Job. I ask you who have you supported who have you waited on who have you helped who have you shown love to. Who gave you the breath and strength to post this. What are you using to fight for your life you should bottle it and sell it if it is working for you.

      • Kenneth Gray on February 22, 2020 at 3:43 pm

        I will pray for you Mr. Burrell, but reading your posts give me the impression that you are arrogant in your faith. This post to Nope just shows a lack of compassion. I don’t know what your life is like but to people like me that are struggling, don’t appreciate your inconsiderate comments. Please, if you aren’t adding helpful advice, don’t comment.

  24. JIMMY ZEAL on April 19, 2019 at 5:52 am


    • fessdo on May 12, 2019 at 10:44 pm

      You are so right and I wished I had found it out years ago. When I read Matthew 6:5 “And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray”,,,, I saw that I had wasted 50+yrs rattling on, wasting time, and accomplishing nothing. If people would be honest they would say pray is never an answer to getting anything done.
      There was a man who was a great devotee. He was in extreme poverty and decided to commit suicide one day, before that he wanted to have ago at god and goes to the temple he regularly prays.
      After swearing on God how he was frustrated because despite many prayers nothing materialized for him and how god let him down, suddenly god appeared in front of him.
      And somehow the god was convinced by his devotee that he deserves a boon. When the god asked what boon will the devotee seek, our devotee asked for a first prize in a lottery. God granted him the wish and disappeared.
      The guy couldn’t believe the luck and was restless as the result would take another month to be made public. He started offering more prayers and did lots of offers in the name of god with borrowed money as a gratitude.
      The result day came, our guy buys the paper opens the result page ta da, nothing for him. His photo was not there for the grant prize. Then he reminded to himself he has forgotten to buy the LOTTERY TICKET.
      Those who spend lot of time on prayers tend to forget that they have to actually do something on the issue. People want believe in the magic of god, but conveniently forget that for the magic to work their should be some logic involved too.

  25. Brett W. on April 18, 2019 at 11:37 am

    Thank you for this! I was rabidly agreeing with the first 2 so happy that someone verbalized them finally and then I got to number 3. Oops. I do that one all the time. I am planting a church and it is easy to think that things need to be “working” for God to really be present. Everything you said there really helped me as I plan out my day.

  26. Lem on April 18, 2019 at 11:29 am

    Thanks for your article. I agree with it in some ways and not so much in others. I come from a charismatic background. I’ve seen demons cast out tumors fall off depression leave. I’ve seen limbs grow back the blind see and the deaf hear again. There is power in prayer and it works!
    I know this has been abused in the past and hence the fences and defences of my fellow brothers and sisters in this post.
    However I do believe there is prayer and then there is PRAYER!!!
    I don’t feel I need to explain this to a Christian.
    I know from some of my friends that they have almost given up asking for a miracle because it has been wiped out from conservative denominations. It’s almost like this is my lot… my fate….
    But there are.many times where sickness depression and oppression are an attack of the enemy but yet we say it’s gods will and give me strength to endure and so on… we do not take the authority given to us to stand up to it.
    We have removed the atmosphere of faith for asking for healing because we scared that if it does not happen what do we do then?

    • Kristi on June 14, 2019 at 11:15 am


    • Lisa on January 17, 2020 at 11:32 am

      Really? You’ve seen limbs grow back
      ? No you haven’t.

  27. Joshua Cole on April 18, 2019 at 9:38 am

    Thank you so much for this post. It has given me words for much of what I’ve learned to be true. I grew up in church–a charismatic church at that. I’ve heard and seen all of these things. I don’t normally post because of the busyness of my life, but I had to say thank you for this honest content today. I’ll be watching my words more closely because I want the world to hear something that they can connect to and something that will give a reliable understanding of the way faith works.

  28. John Glowacki on April 18, 2019 at 6:57 am

    Always love finding a new post in my inbox! Thanks Carey!
    I love to share these at our church staff meetings. Is there a printer friendly version of the blog posts?

  29. Micah Eldridge on April 17, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    Hey Carey,

    Love your stuff. You’re a great observer of culture and always have a fair, humble take on things. One thing I’d add to the list of “things to stop saying” (or things we need to speak more carefully about) is “how to grow your church.”

    I love church growth, I believe in church growth…but in a culture of consumerism and a real skepticism around institution, language around church (numerical) growth often leads to further distrust or misunderstood intentions (both for the listeners and the leaders). I think language around church “health” and “maturity” are better suited for our culture and fit better into the Biblical/NT instruction around church leadership.

    All that to say, I love your insights on church growth, just think we have to talk about it carefully along with the three you listed above. Thanks for all you do!

  30. Don Garberg on April 17, 2019 at 12:25 pm

    Great article. I have been rebelling against “Christian-ese” and statements like these for decades. It is off-putting to the unchurched, repulsive to the dechurched, and only makes Christ followers sound like they belong to some secret society or cult. They are confusing and erroneous at best.

    I appreciate your work Carey, thanks!

  31. Justin on April 17, 2019 at 9:31 am

    I really liked what you had to say here, we Christians can say some weird stuff.

    Do you have suggestions for what to say instead for points 1 & 3? In point 2 you stated, “Say something like, “‘Based on what I know from scripture, I believe this is the best/boldest/wisest course of action.'” and I think that’s really helpful to have a replacement phrase. I’d love to know if you had a succinct thought or phrase for the other points instead of “Prayer works” and “I could really feel God’s presence”.

    Just off the cuff here I’d think of phrases like, “God moves when we pray, but not always in the ways we’d think” and “Sometimes I feel emotionally connected to God’s presence, like just then, but I know He is always present with me.”

    Would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for another great article!

    • Jill on April 17, 2019 at 12:36 pm

      I second this! ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼

  32. Adam Desmond on April 17, 2019 at 9:00 am

    The phrase that irritates me is, “I believe in the power of prayer.” To me, that’s like saying you believe in the power that an extension cord provides. It might be semantics, but if your extension cord isn’t plugged in, it has no power. Praying to the Universe does nothing. Prayer is merely a conduit.

    And I agree that “God told me to” is overused, but mostly because I don’t believe most people really understand prayer and how to listen to God. They don’t ask other Godly people in their lives to confirm what they believe they’ve heard from God. Really, the way most people pray is more akin to the prosperity gospel heresy of “name it and claim it.” Communication with God is hard work and requires practice and patience.

  33. Christopher Sweet on April 17, 2019 at 8:52 am

    Excellent thoughts. Against my better judgment, I skirted in the edge of the “prayer works” statement this week. I appreciate the reminder/affirmation.

  34. Daniel Shepherd on April 17, 2019 at 7:16 am

    Fair points, good article.
    Some others to avoid:
    When praying for people: “don’t look left or right”, or “God wants to take you to the next level”.
    The first time thrse phrases were used, they may have meant something. Perhaps. But they are used as cliches, almost devoid of meaning. Don’t look left or right is maybe meant to mean “keep your eyes on God.” But could be said so much more plainly. To me the phrase focuses strongly/soley on individualistic faith, perhaps ignoring the wisdom, strategy, connections and support that perhaps should be “on their left and right”.

    “God wants to take you (or your job/ministry/family) to the next level” (or step it up a gear, or into the next season) Perhaps this is seen as a default blessing to pray. But more likely God sometimes wants to keep us at the same “level” for a time to grow, consolidate, mature, bear fruit, or even rest, etc. Ecclesiastes tells us there are times for everything. Surely there are even times to “take it back a level,” or “down a gear.”
    I have had people tell me that them hearing it too often it felt like an insult to them, implying stagnation, condemning, not being good enough, or that they needed to “change” something.

  35. Bob Klahn on February 19, 2019 at 3:59 am

    Jesus told us to feed the hungry, house the homeless, etc.

    Clearly and simply, no doubt about it.

  36. Kat Zie on September 11, 2018 at 3:44 pm

    Thanks for your article… Found it encouraging. How to deal properly with the hurt, anger, frustration of unanswered prayer is another good topic…..And evil and the prolonged abuse, torture and mistreatment of people…I know the Lord is trustworthy, that He loves people and He hates evil…what part is human responsiblity to stop? (Who will stand up for me against the evil doer? Psalms) David and his men were “wall” for the people; they stopped evil. Like Nehemiah and the wall built about the city and strategities used to win against a persiistent and cruel enemy.
    Prayer is a good work, a “job assignment” from the LORD for people, interesting… He lets us grapple wth this and bring our prayers and supplicatios to Him… Prayer Works, Jobs…
    Sept …is it 16 to 22, feed my starving children needs contibutions and packers… Pack in the park, US bank stadium? Check it out and come and help feed some people…

  37. Paul Mahy on August 8, 2018 at 7:17 am

    Fucking bullshit.

    • Kat Zie on September 11, 2018 at 3:55 pm

      Hi Paul M…. Appreciate the words… Would like to hear your views and concerns

  38. Jacob Huffman on August 28, 2017 at 12:03 pm

    Another thing that the church should stop saying is this: “God was really in that place today.” That is both true and misleading. I mean, how many times has God been in a service and people sat there like a knot on a log and didn’t say a word to God, didn’t praise or worship God or even prayed a word to Him. Granted, God was in that place, however, some people weren’t really receptive to His presence, His voice, or all the more worse yet, His direction.

    What should we say instead? “God was really in me today.” It may sound arrogant at first. But, as long as you walk in God’s direction and obedience (even in the midst of people who don’t), God will continue the good work He has begun in you. Some of us need to go back to that last act of obedience and not let anything hinder us from obeying God.

    That being said, thanks for sharing. “Prayer works” does seem like code for “I made God an errand boy.” Prayer is preparing us to do God’s will, not preparing God to do ours. The reality is that we may never get one friend, one cent or one thing that we want. God is never enough for us anymore . . . yet, He should be.

    Also, God will not tell you anything that He didn’t first tell you in His Word, else that would be false counseling and God is introduced in the Bible as a Wonderful Counselor. So number two is most definitely a scapegoat. Plus, it’s simple logic. How many times should somebody tell you to do something?

    And no, it is not always in a feeling. In fact, the Bible often teaches us to go against feelings and go by faith. You may feel nervous or uncomfortable about something, but with the faith that Peter and Paul had, you can overcome those feelings and step out in faith and do what God wants you to do.

    I could preach awhile here . . . but, I’ll stop. Again, thanks for sharing.

  39. Dionne White on July 8, 2017 at 7:16 pm

    This was a great article. I wish Christians would stop saying “It’s all about Love”.
    Actually it’s all about Truth and Love. Jesus came to be a peacemaker, he came to bring a sword, and not to be a peace keeper.
    Truth and Love. Truth IN Love!
    Thanks Carey for you great insight. Very refreshing!

  40. daveherring on September 28, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    “Nowhere did God promise that the Holy Spirit is a feeling or an emotion.” Except those silly emotions ‘love, joy, peace…’

    • Katie Peken on April 17, 2019 at 9:16 am

      Hi Dave H – I take it you are saying that the Holy Spirit IS emotions? But love, God style, is an action – like laying down your life for your friends; joy is a decision – otherwise how can we obey the admonition to ‘rejoice in the Lord always’, and peace requires the hardest of work – like when Jesus died for us, while we were still his enemies. Galatians 5 says that love, joy and peace, along with patience, kindness and the rest are products of living in step with the Spirit, rather than feelings.

      I agree with you, Carey, that Christians should stop saying ‘Prayer works’, and I agree with the reasons you give, but I want to add another reason: usually I hear that phrase when a well-meaning Christian tells an unchurched person with a problem that prayer really works. And they miss out the part about prayer being effective because of who we are praying to. Recently someone thanked me for praying for her mum because, she said, her mum took all our prayers and used them to heal herself. So perhaps I’d rather say, “Why don’t we talk to Jesus about that – he is immensely powerful, and he promises to hear us. I don’t know what his answer will be, because he’s God and he’s so much wiser than me; but I know for sure that he is listening, he loves us, and he is good.”

      • Jill on April 17, 2019 at 12:42 pm

        Ohhh, man. Thank you for your insight on praying with the individual for her mom. I’ve only recently come across that kind of response from someone with a universalist approach to faith (I guess that’s what it is… please correct me if I’m wrong!), and I wasn’t prepared to respond with anything that would gently point them back to Jesus.

  41. Marlene Jiannino Daley on September 28, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    I have found myself saying, “I am, you are, they are, we are blessed” far to many times. I also feel uncomfortable when people say that God ld them this or that. I be.ieve that God is all around us and my prayers are ususally for His glory for all that he has made. I am humbled by all that I have been given in my life & I do not have great expectations that all of my prayers will be answered. If he anwsered all prayers there would be no pain in the world.

  42. Matthew Brown on August 8, 2016 at 8:20 pm

    Great article. Especially on prayer dude and the presence of God.

  43. Karen Edenhofer on May 18, 2016 at 9:13 am

    I adored this article and appreciate the wording so much! As someone not originally from Christian culture, I struggle SO much to understand the “blessed” phrase (ugh) and the comment about prayer working in favorable times (what about the other child who wasn’t spared from cancer-was their prayer broken in some way?).

    Also, this is incredibly picky, but your bio really deterred me from reading more of your work. It says you interview today’s “best” leaders. But all I can think of is the value assigned to the word “best” like some of the “best” homes, schools, neighborhoods, people, etc. I’m positive that this “best” is polar to what Jesus calls us to be. Maybe you mean “most-influential leaders of today’s main-stream Christian culture”?

  44. Jeanne Stevens Kohn on May 17, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    You asked what sorts of other things we wish Christians (or people in general) would stop saying. One of mine is “I am so proud of my_____”(son, daughter, wife, friend) when they do something that people tend to think of as good. This seems like a good thing to say but carries with it difficulty on the other end. What do we say when they DON’T manage those great things? Or even perhaps do things that give us pain? Do we then say “I am so ashamed of my______”? I would prefer to hear “I am so delighted with________” And then, also, those actions no longer reflect back on us but are fully gifts from the Father of lights….

  45. Nancy McManus on May 16, 2016 at 5:19 pm

    Why do you call people who don’t go to church unchurched. The reality is that many of whom you are calling this, did in fact go to church at some point in their life, and made a decision to leave the church. Not because they don’t believe in a higher power, but because they believe in spirituality not the formal religion that is associated with the physical building called a church. I do agree with your opening statement regarding why people stay away from Christianity. Your points about what not to say as Christians were well written and I agree with your reasoning behind each of them.

  46. Zachary Verbracken on May 16, 2016 at 12:02 pm

    Thanks Carey for your transparency and authenticity. You’re building bridges and helping us to become more self-aware and better navigate conversations with unchurched people who are skeptical because of phrases like the ones mentioned.

    Appreciate you and your wisdom!

  47. Brett Heintzman on May 16, 2016 at 8:46 am

    I’m afraid I must take a contrary opinion. I hear you regarding the reasoning, but the phrases are not the issue.
    Regarding #1… Prayer indeed works. I can point to the day and hour that God confronted me with this statement: “You are a man who ‘prays’, but not a ‘man of prayer.’ I was completely challenged, stung, convicted and changed. Prayer is the primary practice of our church and I fear that most church do most of their ministry out of their own strength and ideas instead of the result of actual praying, … which leads to my disagreement with #2…
    Regarding #2 … The day I was confronted by God, “God said…” Again, I know that you are speaking of people who attempt to validate their own misguided thoughts by application of the phrase “God said…” but I will not stop saying it. God speaks. If we do not serve a God who still speaks then what do we have? I hang on the voice of my Good Shepherd who told me that I would know His voice. Which leads to my disagreement with #3…
    Regarding #3 … Both prayer and voice = palpable presence of God. The Glory of God is equivalent to “weight.” Weight is something felt, not explained. You don’t know what the word ‘weight’ means until you’ve experienced it. God’s presence is real and I will not stop speaking about His presence.
    Respectfully disagreeing.
    Brett Heintzman
    Pastor, Jamestown Free Methodist Church
    Jamestown, NY

    • RWilliams on May 16, 2016 at 1:24 pm

      On your issue with #1 I’m concerned you didn’t read the article but just the points. He clarifies exactly what he means underneath the point.

      On 2 & 3… We have to have a foundation for truth which is clearly the Word of God. Giving people license to act upon their own interpretations of their feelings or emotions is, to me, quite dangerous. How many times have we seen stories on the news where “God told” someone to commit a violent act. Also, Carey answered your issues quite clearly.

      “For the record, I believe there are times when God does speak to
      people today. But let’s be realistic. What made me put this phrase on
      the list is the number of times I have heard the phrase used to describe
      a decision that is:

      Selfishly motivated (come on, admit it … you’re justifying your impulses).

      Contrary to scripture (the scriptures pretty clearly suggest that what you’re doing is sinful … or at least isn’t wise).

      Designed to shut down debate (does anyone really think they can win a “God told me” debate?).”

    • Roger M. Cole on September 28, 2016 at 11:24 am

      I agree with you, Brett. I found this post very cynical.

    • Joan Hollingshead on November 5, 2016 at 3:47 pm


    • R. Furia on May 16, 2018 at 12:44 pm


  48. pneumastar on May 14, 2016 at 1:15 am


    I agree with you about “prayer works” it’s bugged me for years…but I have to take issue with your perspectives that merely present the God of the Universe as a doctrinal entity, not a person (or, at least, I received what you wrote that way), a Person that we are made in the image of…we are “like” Him. When you said, “Do things happen supernaturally when we pray? Well, yes they do,” you should have stopped there. If we are connecting people with a God that has to be figured out or understood, we are misleading them. He is the One that dispenses, “peace that passes understanding” and our introduction to him must include embracing the mysteries that are “part and parcel” of His Personhood. Yes, there is much we understand and connect with but to attempt to grasp, with our minds, the ways of the person of God is to eat again from a tree of knowledge of good and evil.

    To not say that “God told me” merely saves you from looking foolish, a trait I find, scripturally to be a trait of believers. The sheep KNOW the shepherd’s voice. Take a risk, BELIEVE – it causes faith in others. It also brings on the foolishness of Christ, an essence most “Christians” choose to avoid. As long as scripture repeats it or parallels it, I wouldn’t discourage a believer…even if they’re wrong, it’s a point of maturity not heresy.

    “Feeling” God’s presence…this takes faith also. Maybe “sensing” is a better word but to say that the Creator doesn’t connect with our senses is nothing but a gnostic position. We are whole people, body (including our senses), soul and spirit. God touches ALL of us. God is not an emotion, but he IS a person and when someone who we are familiar with enters the room (and we have discernment) we “feel” their presence, His too. I agree, God is not “just” present when we “feel” him but we surely can sense Him. Again, saying this makes us look kinda stupid but it’s good for the humility factor. There’s something about the Father, he likes the ones that are not ashamed.

    Let’s open our hearts to stuff we don’t “get,” stuff that doesn’t make sense, stuff that’s not wrong but makes us feel uncomfortable. He loves us and invites us to embrace the mystery of Him…a mystery that I, for way too long, chose to either explain, cover-up or ignore but is now the whole of how I receive His daily interaction with me.


    • Kiesha J. on July 12, 2018 at 11:51 am

      Well said, THANK YOU!!

      • Kiesha J. on July 12, 2018 at 11:58 am

        @pneumastar, thank you for your post. I was trying to reply to your comment but unfortunately did it incorrectly. Anyways, well said and I agree with your perspective completely. Thank you for that clarification and elaboration on things Christians say and why that may be so.

    • Lem on April 18, 2019 at 11:31 am

      Awesome. Agree with you

    • Kristi on June 14, 2019 at 11:22 am

      Absolutely, pneumastar!

  49. Devin Marlowe on May 13, 2016 at 1:33 pm

    I kinda wanna tweet this article and say “Preach it!” But I’m guessing that’s something else Christians should stop saying… 😉 FANTASTIC post.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on May 15, 2016 at 10:56 pm

      Thanks so much Devin! So great to meet you a few weeks ago.

      • Devin Marlowe on May 16, 2016 at 2:26 pm

        Was great to meet you too. Thanks for all you do. Hope you have enjoyed your time in Australia.

      • Nellie on March 21, 2021 at 11:38 pm

        God doesn’t give us everything that we ask for that we feel is good for many reasons. Maybe there is something better coming. Maybe he is teaching us patience. Maybe you already have all the absolutely necessary things to accomplish the thing we want to do but don’t realize it because we are too focused on what WE think we need. Maybe what we want to do is better done by someone else. Maybe it is just not His will to either not say yes now as he can see a far larger picture of things than we can. There can be so many reasons. Oh, God answers EVERY time but the answer can be yes, no or later.

  50. YoungChurchLeaders on May 13, 2016 at 10:58 am

    Wow! Too much I want to say in the comment section. (All good things though). So let me just say… Keep writing!

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