Skip to content

5 Signs The Enemy (Not God) is Winning In Your Life and Leadership


Only the crazy people believe in evil and an actual Enemy, right?

Well, that’s kind of what I used to think too.

As a young Christian, I believed that what the scriptures taught about evil was accurate, but accurate in a this happened thousands of years ago kind of way. And most people who talked about evil today were, well, a little off balance or just didn’t understand science well enough.

Then I got into church leadership. And all of us a sudden what I read on the pages of scripture about a battle between Good and Evil started to feel like last Tuesday. Not every day, but some days.

Maybe you’ve felt that too.

You’re not alone.

Talking about the work of the enemy is not an easy task.

The challenge, I think, lies at the extremes. There are some Christian leaders who never talk about Satan and others who talk incessantly about him. You know what I mean. In the case of the latter, every time the toast burns or something doesn’t go their way, Satan is behind it and it’s time for an exorcism. Neither extreme is particularly helpful.

In a similar way, the greatest mistake I believe you can make with evil is to overestimate or underestimate its influence.

It doesn’t have ultimate power, but it also isn’t powerless. Evil is active. And in some way, it’s probably influencing your thought life, ministry, and family right now. At least that’s what the scriptures claim. And Jesus himself acted as though evil was very real.

The greatest mistake you can make with evil is to overestimate or underestimate its influence. Click To Tweet

The scripture’s understanding of the battle between good and evil began to explain a good deal of what I was feeling inside of me as a leader, but also around me in relationships, in culture and even, sometimes, in the church.

Again… please don’t hear extremism in what I am saying. But even if you’re skeptical about evil, you might also have noticed that we do live in a strange world, with headlines that inevitably depress, good leaders that get derailed, again and again, people that struggle against each other and against themselves.

It’s like there’s a virus in the system that we just can’t seem to shake. Because, of course, there is.

Even writers like Steven Pressfield, who don’t profess a Christian faith, acknowledge that there’s a force in the universe that works against good when it comes to creating enduring art.

C.S. Lewis, of course, treated the subject of the presence of evil in the world masterfully in the Screwtape Letters, written during the ravages of the second world war. It’s a book that has not lost its punch seven and a half decades after its publication.

Going back centuries further, you can read Thomas Brook’s Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices—an astonishingly insightful book (Thank you to Tim Keller for the reference).

The key to overcoming the activity and influence of evil in your life and your world, of course, is to recognize it.

When you expose it to the light of Christ, evil loses its power.

So, in the hopes of shedding some light on evil’s activity, here are some of the signs I see that show evil is alive and well in the lives of leaders and churches.

It's like there's a virus in the system that we can't seem to shake. Because, of course, there is. Click To Tweet

1. You’re Being Divisive

If there’s one strategy Satan comes back to again and again, it’s creating division. And why wouldn’t he? It works.

Strangely, in our culture, some Christians wear their divisiveness as a badge of honour. It’s not. It’s actually a badge of evil.

How do we know division is a sign of the activity and presence of evil?

Paul actually defines which human behaviour is motivated by God and which is motivated by the enemy in Galatians 5.

He begins by listing the characteristics of people whose lives are under the influence of evil.

In our culture, some Christians wear their divisiveness as a badge of honour. It's not. It's actually a badge of evil. Click To Tweet

Ready for the list? Here it is:



Sexual immorality


Impurity and debauchery

Fits of rage





Sadly, too much of that sounds like church.

Even if you remove the sexual sins (which, tragically, are often present too), the list sounds like a job description for self-righteous Christians. But, actually, it’s Satan’s job description.

Contrast that with what the Holy Spirit generates in peoples’ lives. When the Holy Spirit gets hold of a person, a culture and a church, he produces:










The contrast could hardly be sharper.

But wait, you say, what if my conviction is from God? Come on Carey, this doesn’t mean we just all lie down and hold hands and sing songs, does it?

Sure, occasionally we need a Martin Luther to nail 95 theses to the door. But most of us are not Martin Luther. And most of the time it isn’t 1517.

And even if you need to ‘take a stand’, it’s probably not a stand for Jesus if it ultimately produces more division and bitterness than it does unity and love.

Sometimes love is tough, but love never ends tough. It ends sweet. It ends in reconciliation. And it ends in justice and hope. If your love doesn’t end with hope, it’s not love.

If you want to drill down a bit further, I’ve written about how the church today might be getting discipleship wrong in this post and again here.

Regardless, if your definition of Christianity is characterized by hate and division, it’s not Christianity.

If your definition of Christianity is characterized by hate and divisiveness, it's not Christianity. Click To Tweet

2. You’re Growing Arrogant

Arrogance can creep in so easily among church leaders.

There are two primary ways Christians succumb to arrogance: success, and by using a common but false definition of ‘maturity.’

Let’s start with the first. The most difficult test of character is not failure. It’s success.

Here’s why. It’s pretty easy to be humble when you’re failing. It’s just far too easy to take all the credit when things go well.

The most difficult test of character is not failure. It's success. Click To Tweet

As a result, leaders of growing churches and ministries almost always have a daily fight with arrogance. Or at least hopefully there’s a fight. Because if there isn’t, arrogance will win. Every time.

I know in my life as the church has grown, as more people have read my blog or even listened to my podcasts, the battle against claiming credit is daily.

I remember that when our church was little, I regularly prayed: “God, write a story so big here that only you can possibly claim credit.”

The truth is, God has.  Our church or my wider ministry has impacted far more people than I ever dreamed or could possibly have pulled off. But I still have to fight myself to make sure that I’m not trying to snatch credit for anything God has done in my life or ministry.

The goal of Christian leadership, after all, is not to get people to follow you. It’s to get people to follow Jesus.

If the battle against pride isn’t daily, pride will win.

Leaders of growing churches and ministries almost always have a daily fight with arrogance. Or at least hopefully there’s a fight. Because if there isn’t, arrogance will win. Every time. Click To Tweet

A second way that arrogance creeps in is when Christians falsely characterize Christian maturity as knowledge.

If you listened to many in the church these days, you’d think knowledge equals maturity. The more you know, the more mature you are.

Scripture suggests that’s a false test. After all, as Paul points out, knowledge puffs up; love builds up.

Knowledge makes you arrogant. Love makes you humble.

As a leader, I need to be daily transformed by love and humility. When I do that, I resist the devil.

Knowledge makes you arrogant. Love makes you humble. Click To Tweet

3. You’re starting to blur moral lines

Occasionally leaders move from relatively deep obedience to an extraordinary moral breach overnight, but usually, it’s far more subtle than that.

As C.S. Lewis says in the Screwtape Letters, “the safest road to hell is the gradual one – the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.”

So how does this happen?

Often it happens when you start to compromise on the small things. Maybe you take a few deductions you shouldn’t on your taxes. Or you don’t report some side income. Or you get a little too close emotionally to someone you’re not married to. Sure… nothing happened. But deep down you know something is happening in your heart.

Or maybe you just shade the truth a little in conversations to make yourself or the situation look better than they really do.

The first moral lapse is always the hardest. Then it gets easier from there.

You may be asking God for more in your life or leadership, but whenever you ask God for more, he usually asks you what you’re doing with what he’s already given you.

If you’re not faithful in the little things, you won’t be faithful in the bigger things.

Obedience may seem boring or inconvenient in the short-term, but it’s richly and deeply satisfying in the long term.

If you refuse to compromise now, it becomes much easier to resist compromise in the future.

If you're not faithful in the little things, you won't be faithful in the bigger things. Click To Tweet

4. You’re Discouraged

So the first three things were sins of commission.

But even if you avoid all that, the Enemy loves to take you out from the side. One of his favorite weapons is discouragement.

Discouragement says

I’m no good.

I’m not making a difference.

I always mess up.

What’s the point?

I might as well give up.

We’ve all been there. But I believe that none of those messages are from God.

Want a little hack? Read the book of Ephesians, and everywhere it says “you” or “us”  just substitute your name. Put your name in the blanks below:

Even before he made the world, God loved _______ and chose _______ in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt _______ into his own family by bringing ________ to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.

I know that’s a little cheesy, but it actually helps you battle well.

The best antidote to a lie is the truth. So ground yourself in the truth. And also in the truth about yourself.

If you’re discouraged, just remember, God is less done with you than you are.

Discouraged? Just remember, God is less done with you than you are. Click To Tweet

5. You’re Full of Self-Pity

If discouragement is left unchecked, it grows. Self-pity is discouragement on steroids.

Self-pity chisels in stone what discouragement whispers.

It tells you there is no out. That this is the way it will always be. And it simultaneously tells you it’s all your fault and none of this is your fault. Paradoxically, you believe both.

Self-pity is dangerous because it moves you to the sidelines.

Living in a state of self-pity means you don’t need anyone to take you out of the game because you’ve taken yourself out.

It’s an incredibly effective strategy and completely counter to the gospel.

Self-pity chisels in stone what discouragement whispers. And living in a state of self-pity means you don't need anyone to take you out of the game, because you've taken yourself out. Click To Tweet

The final thing self-pity does is rob us of all joy. Satan can’t steal our salvation. But he can steal our joy. And he delights in doing it.

Don’t let him.

If you’re stuck in self-pity, though, how do you get out?

Here’s what I’ve found helpful. Self-pity is basically confession without repentance and forgiveness.

Self-pity leaves you acknowledging that there’s a big problem, but not fully owning it (confession) and moving forward (claiming forgiveness). It’s acknowledging sin without claiming hope.

The Gospel never leads to self-pity. It leads to transformation.

So if you’re struggling with self-pity, you’re part way there. Just keep going. Get past confession and onto repentance and forgiveness.

Satan can't steal our salvation. But he can steal our joy. And he delights in doing it. Click To Tweet

To Get Through All This…Some Help


If you recognize yourself in this post, just know there’s help and there’s hope.

While my latest book isn’t all about good and evil, it is about things like cynicism, compromise, pride, emptiness, burnout and more: the issues almost everyone struggles with and no one expects.

There is hope. And there’s help.

I tackle seven key issues in my best-selling book, Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the 7 Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences. 

I not only outline how each of the seven challenges shows up in your life, I show you how to combat them and beat them.

There’s an antidote to each of the seven and some very practical steps you can take so issues like cynicism, pride, irrelevance and emptiness no longer define your present or your future.  And once you’ve burned out, you don’t need to stay burned out. You can thrive again, and I show you how.

You can pick up your copy of Didn’t See It Coming here (hardcover, AudioBook or Kindle) and once again (or for the first time) discover how to thrive in life leadership.

What do You See?

Those are 5 signs I regularly see at work in my own life and that I see other church leaders battling against.

Again, knowing what they are is half the battle. If you don’t recognize Satan’s strategies, it’s hard to defeat them. But once you see them and hold them up to the light, they lose their power.

Obviously, this is a short list. What other signs do you see? How are you combatting them?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

5 Signs The Enemy (Not God) is Winning In Your Life and Leadership


  1. Joe W on April 28, 2020 at 5:19 pm

    My name is Joe, In my dreams I see things that no one else sees, I know who is winning and I cry while typing but money is PURE evil and where is my pure holiness. money is power. Money is Evil. The devil is Evil. Sometimes I feel like im in the middle of a fight between holy and evil. There isn’t even another century for the human race. I’ve seen it. Mother theresa always said when the devil begins to reign or tries to take reign, now she says, now that he took reign. (over the world). Imagine if everyone, all 7 billion of us went to church this sunday. do you think you would wake up to Evil.

  2. Shari on February 23, 2020 at 5:23 pm

    I have a friend that deals with A LOT of insecurities-and tends to believe that those around her need to always be aware of them so we can adjust our behaviors to help her deal with them. I can be very frustrating, because I love her and want what’s best for her-and I would tend to buy into her need/s.
    This week, God revealed a new thought process around it.
    She also doesn’t believe in Satan.

    Who better to target than someone who doesn’t want to acknowledge you?

    He takes the truth and twists and turns it in our minds- and then uses that to divide.

    Thank you for this post as it was an addition to a study I am doing that just happened to be focused around learning the how Satan works.

    God is so good! It has taken weeks of pain, listening and obedience to have this awareness.

    Now off to pray for her.

  3. George Bray on January 1, 2020 at 9:14 pm

    I love the lord! Every time I pray or worship the Lord, bad thoughts begin coming into my mind. I know this is Satan, and I will not let him stop me from showing my gratitude to my God who has kept me and defended me for all these years. I have found help now, I don’t have to carry on the fight alone anymore. Thank you Carey, and I ask that all you good people pray for me. I have tried to be the best person, and christian I could for the past 40 years, but it has been a continuous fight, I am 65 now, and I have just gotten the courage, and good sense to ask for help.

    • Dianna on January 30, 2020 at 7:12 pm

      Amen! So happy for you George Bray. Myself too just went through this battle and just come to realize satan schemes so very happy to come across this article … may just get his book very insightful and most of all Thank you my Lord and Savior Jesus for pointing me and showing me this article. I pray for you George that the good Lord continues to keep you focus on Him and battles your fight. He is an Awesome God! Praise His name. Amen!

  4. Janis on November 9, 2019 at 8:44 am

    Hi I have been dealing with the Enemy for 7 yrs he follows me around on the bus while walking I went to live in a house I should not have gone to live in where there is demonic Vermin I have prayed toGod and to the Lord asked for forgiveness You are right The Enemy knows our past and won’t let go

  5. Rirhandzu on July 29, 2019 at 2:34 pm

    Amazing, clarifies and confirms many things in my life and around me. God bless. Keep up the good work🙏🙌
    Rirhandzu, South Africa

    • Carey Nieuwhof on July 29, 2019 at 8:29 pm

      Glad to help!

    • Dianna on January 31, 2020 at 6:37 am

      Amen! So happy for you George Bray. Myself too just went through this battle and just come to realize satan schemes so very happy to come across this article … may just get his book very insightful and most of all Thank you my Lord and Savior Jesus for pointing me and showing me this article. I pray for you George that the good Lord continues to keep you focus on Him and battles your fight. He is an Awesome God! Praise His name. Amen!

  6. Martha on July 25, 2019 at 3:52 am

    The smile I had when putting in my name in the blanks and reading the context☺.
    The joys that comes from his word.
    The thought of how much God loves us all is enough to erase all lies.

    Thank you for this. God bless you

    • Sahka Arnold on March 7, 2020 at 8:42 am

      Thank you Caray for the article. It’s really helpful at this moment of my life as I am struggling with my career as a graphic designer which is really demanding and at the same time trying to stay closer to God. I am 28 years and yet still struggling to settle down as a man, secure a good future and have a comfortable life but somehow feels the Satan is playing some rules in my life and slowing me down but thank God I am still nit discouraged. I will really want you to remember me in your prayers. Thank you

  7. alternatif palapaqq on July 8, 2019 at 5:26 pm

    It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d defijitely donate to this excellent blog!
    I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSSfeed to my
    Google account.I look forward to brand new updates and will
    talk about this website with my Facebook group. Chat soon!

  8. Nicole Litschauer on June 4, 2019 at 2:00 pm

    Really needed this today thank u

    • Matt on February 16, 2020 at 2:02 pm

      I’m a little late but I needed this today too

  9. Jennifer on May 24, 2019 at 1:27 am

    Thank you.
    All so true and helpful.
    Priceless comments.
    Keep this fired up!
    Pleased to hear we are working alongside people like you.

  10. Joseph McArdle on April 17, 2019 at 5:58 pm

    God, help us please. Amen. 🙏❤

  11. Miriam on December 3, 2018 at 7:57 pm

    Thank you.

  12. midnight texas s02e05 online on November 27, 2018 at 8:41 am

    This paragraph is truly a pleasant one it assists new net
    users, who are wishing for blogging.

  13. Been David Karethiu on November 26, 2018 at 7:25 pm

    Thanks Carey, for the inspiring message as we get closer to the end of the year,there are all the reasons to keep watch,so as to finish strong. Thanks very much for your continued support to us and the ministry God has entrusted to us.

  14. Viktor Záhonyi on November 22, 2018 at 9:10 am

    Hi Carey, I’ve been following you virtually on a daily basis for years now and I’ve never left a comment. Sorry bro’. But this post is GOLD. All your materials are but as you said somewhere ‘Competence gets you in the room but character keeps you in it.” You can gain the whole world (of ministry) but if you loose your soul (character) in the process… I’ve read that somewhere too… We all need to watch out because the enemy never sleeps. Thanks for all your ministry, God may bless and protect you on your journey, with great respect and love in Christ, Viktor from Hungary, Europe

  15. Piseth Chap on November 21, 2018 at 8:42 pm

    Thank brother, it’s very true to me right! I was living in the spirit of self pity for 6 years.

  16. Partricia on November 21, 2018 at 2:47 pm

    Thank you Carey! This is Bang On!

    Thank you for your insight!

  17. Partricia Konkle on November 21, 2018 at 2:45 pm

    Thank you Carey! This was awesome! It is Bang On!

    Thanks for you insight!

  18. Joy Lazenby on November 21, 2018 at 12:10 pm

    Thank you !
    Love how our God gives us answers in His Words!!! And how He uses people, broken but searching people!!

    • Lisa cosner on February 10, 2019 at 3:34 pm

      Those words that Jesus had you say……. made my life change
      I can actually take a deep breath….. I truly need help and guidance ….. all of us are family and I’m asking for all your prayers …… all with love!!!!

  19. Jason Lieberg on November 21, 2018 at 11:07 am

    So helpful to know that we all fight the same battles and have the same struggles.
    Thanks for sharing!

  20. John on November 21, 2018 at 10:56 am

    Thank you Carey

  21. Becca on November 21, 2018 at 10:56 am

    Great stuff Carey! I have never hit the “click to tweet” button so many times in one post! I can SO relate to #4 and #5. I will use that cheesy suggestion about reading Ephesians with my name inserted. 🙂

  22. Brad Gates on November 21, 2018 at 9:31 am

    Carey, reading this post this morning has been like hearing revelry being played at the flagpole.
    It’s time time to wake up and see what’s going on.

    Thank you for the wake up call, Carey. I appreciate you.

  23. Nicole on November 21, 2018 at 9:04 am

    This is so, so good! Thank you for a valuable lesson, Carey.

    (And here’s your chuckle for today : my phone tried to change “Carey” to “Cattery”!)

  24. Sherman Dilley on November 21, 2018 at 8:47 am

    Carey, great post. I would like you to consider another device: Entitlement. The “I deserve this, because…. ( You can fill in the blank). I see the “entitlement mentality” hurting and even destroying Christians, their testimonies and the church.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on November 21, 2018 at 8:52 am

      Yep…that’s a big one. Thank you Sherman. I really don’t deserve anything. So true!

    • Becca on November 21, 2018 at 10:53 am

      Great point! It is just as easy to fall into that category as it is the negative.

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Copy link