Carlos Whittaker battled porn for much of his ministry life until it manifested itself in a relationship that almost cost him his family.

In an honest conversation, he talks about clearing the cobwebs of sin out of his life by finally killing the spider that was spinning them all. He talks to leaders about what to do when sin messes with your life and ministry.

Welcome to Episode 161 of the podcast.

Guest Links

Carlos on Facebook

Carlos on Instagram

Carlos on Twitter

Links Mentioned

Breaking 200 Without Breaking You

Join me February 22-23, 2018 at the Pipeline West Leadership Conference. Use coupon code: LeadLikeNeverBefore for 10% off your registration before the Early Bird Rate expires on October 31st!

CNLP 053: How Evangelism and Apologetics Are Changing–Interviews with Ravi Zacharias, Nabeel Quereshi, Alycia Wood and Margaret Manning

3 Insights from This Episode

1. You have the ability to remove the lies that are holding you back and live free from the brokenness those lies bring

Seeking to find the truth behind deeply rooted pain involves investing in many things. Prayer. Solitude. Therapy. Supportive Friends. The recovery process isn’t a quick one and often people find themselves eventually falling back into the behaviours they worked so hard to overcome. Carlos Whittaker lived through that cycle for years, but practicing these 3 actions finally freed him from the lies he’d believed his entire life:

1.Confess the Lie 

2. Reject the Lie

3. Replace the Lie with God’s Truth

His book Kill the Spider is a spiritual and personal guide on how to go beyond medicating a lie with false comforts by remove it completely from your life.

2. Chase after Jesus before you chase after the person you’ve hurt

You have to attack and win the spiritual battle within you before you’ll ever be ready to repair damage you’ve caused in your earthly relationships. Once you’ve experienced God’s healing and are reconnected with Him, you will be better equipped to try to restore what you’ve broken in others.

3. Believe God can heal the broken by showing them the love of Jesus 

We all have people in our lives struggling in the darkness. Sure, we pray for them, but are we praying with them?

While loved ones search to find Jesus in a time that feels completely isolating, show them Jesus by offering tangible support and grace. Your strong presence could serve as a prompting in their hearts that God can bring freedom and restoration.

Quotes from This Episode

Start Breaking Barriers Today

So you would love to reach more people, but how? Your church just can’t seem to sustainably grow past the 200 barrier. And you’re really not sure why.

My new online course called Breaking 200 Without Breaking You is designed to help senior pastors and their boards and leadership team break through the barrier 85% of churches never move past: the 200 attendance barrier.

So many leaders who try to break it either get stuck at 150-250 in attendance or burned out in the process of trying.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Believe it or not, the reasons most churches never break 200 aren’t spiritual reasons, they’re practical reasons. Strategic reasons.

So whether your church is 50, 150 or 250 in attendance, the principles will help you gain the insight you need to break the barrier more than 85% of churches can’t break.

Click here to get instant access!

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Appreciate This? Rate the Podcast.

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

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Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Jarrid Wilson

At age 15, Jarrid Wilson told a youth group leader he was depressed, and essentially felt dismissed.

By age 19, the silence felt like it was killing him and he started googling painless ways to die.

A decade later, at 29, he’s in a very different place, having battled depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. We discuss his story and why mental health is so hard to talk about—and deal with—in the church.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 162.

CNLP 161: Carlos Whittaker on Porn, Losing His Family, Hidden Sin and the Battle Back


  1. Nathan on January 4, 2021 at 5:14 pm

    Hi! My name is Nathan. I recently saw Carlos’s about his book “Kill The Spider”.
    I would like to know who was his marriage counselor as I am in need of marriage counseling due to infidelity.

  2. Cathy Gates on October 19, 2017 at 11:14 am

    Thank you for this open authentic conversation about the universality of struggles in life and ministry, where they come from and how to go to God with them. We need to hear these truths more often. As I have worked with Christian leaders, I have seen God do amazing things in the lives of struggling people following using the steps that Carlos describes. I ordered Carlos book while listening to the podcast!

  3. Daniel on October 11, 2017 at 6:41 pm

    I’ve been in full time ministry for years. Today I almost started chasing darkness, but this episode has challenged me to kill the spider. Simply, thank you.

  4. charles hines on October 11, 2017 at 3:17 pm

    Great testimony . I can imagine part of it . I have indeed experienced some of this. I’m intouch with family . Lack of finance and their locations scattered.
    Chas H

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