Skip to content

How To Know Whether You’re Trusting God…or Just Being Stupid

risk

One of the most perplexing questions a Christian and, to be sure, a Christian leader will face when it comes to risk is this:

Am I trusting God, or am I simply being foolish?

The question isn’t as dumb as it seems.

There’s a fine line between faith and irresponsibility, and at times it’s almost impossible to see.

You know that big leadership risk you’re thinking about?

your new role

the massively daunting project

the big mission trip

that new campus

your start up

hiring a team

a new facility

the big move?

So…is it a step of faith, or is it just stupid?

Is it trust…or is it irresponsibility?

How would you know?

Real Risk Lives on the Edge of Spectacular

Recently I had a call from a pastor friend who wanted to get his church out of a portable situation and into a new facility.

We had talked about the move several times, and on this particular day he was down the wire. His church had given at unbelievably sacrificial levels, but he was still at least 6 figures short of his goal. Yet they had a building deal in front of them that they could move on now before costs escalated beyond what they could afford.

He asked me what I thought. I asked more questions. The answers really didn’t help me get much clarity at all, despite my friend’s best intentions.

I asked him what other wise people he and I both knew were saying. He said everyone thought it was pushing the known limits.

I said I tended to agree.

We talked some more.

So what advice did I end up giving him?

I told him:

I think this will be spectacular. It will either be spectacularly wonderful or a spectacular failure. And I don’t know which.

That’s quite literally what I told him. (Bet you don’t want to call me for advice anymore….)

But that was the truth. I just didn’t know which. I told him I’d be watching with prayerful anticipation, which I did.

So what did my friend do?

He put out one last call for giving and people…responded.

They signed the deal. And recently I saw his amazing new facility that’s nearing completion.

I’m glad I kept my mouth shut. He was right. It looks like it was a spectacularly great decision for his congregation and all those they’ll reach in the coming years.

The Bible Sometimes Makes Things…Complicated

Ever really read the Bible?

So when you read it…what do you see? Faith or foolishness?

What was Abraham thinking when we set out with his entire family to go to a land he’d never been to, risking everything for a voice he thought he’d heard?

Who was Moses to think he could stand up to the most powerful king in the land, or to even attempt it after he had so much doubt about his calling?

The prophets were….not very typical suburban people. Ezekiel lay on his side for 390 days and all eating a specific diet cooked over excrement and played with a scale model of Jerusalem to show its pending destruction…wow!)

Imagine how Daniel felt being thrown into the lion’s den. Had he lived his life faithfully, or foolishly? He was about to find out.

Would you have advised your kids to do what Peter James and John did, leaving it all (including you, mom and dad!) to follow a man that had just burst onto the scene and some are starting to think is God?

How about Paul, who went from place to place, prison to prison, painfully misunderstood but absolutely committed to proclaiming this Jesus so many people rejected?

We say we want our kids to lead faithful lives, but do we even have a clue what that means?

None of our biblical heroes were exactly on the top college/stunning career track.

If you were advising any of these biblical figures, what would you have told them to do?

What is a Godly decision?

Is it always wise, prudent, restrained, responsible?
Or is it always risky, edgy, out-there, half-crazed?
Or neither?
Or both?

That’s a tough one, isn’t it?

Two Helpful Questions

For the record, I don’t believe there’s an easy way, five step, bullet proof way to resolve the tension between faith and foolishness.

Pivotal decision making should be navigated through prayer, through pouring over scripture (prayer and scripture should always be married) and through seeking advice of trusted, Christian mature people around you (click here for how to develop an inner circle like that). But sometimes that even lands in a place of uncertainty.

Here are two questions I’ve started asking myself to help when things aren’t clear:

1. Is ‘wisdom’ killing my trust in God?

2. Does my ‘trust’ in God disregard all wisdom?

Q 1:  Wisdom Killing My Trust?

I think the first question—is wisdom killing my trust in God—is more disturbing for me.

I’ve led for 20 years and learned a lot of lessons. I’m wiser than I was decades ago (hopefully that’s true for all of us who have led for a while).

And that can lead me to choose what I know, can see and can predict without honestly going for broke and trusting God wholeheartedly.

More over, the more successful you become—the more money you have, the more people you’ve reached, the more influence you have—the more conservative you tend to become. I’m not talking politics here, I’m simply saying you tend to not want to lose what you’ve got, so you naturally conserve more and risk less.

You know what’s underneath that? Fear.

Fear is clever. And fear can hide behind wisdom.

You can get to a certain season in leadership in which you no longer want to take risks in the name of being ‘wise’, ‘prudent’ or ‘ responsible.”

But the truth is you don’t want to rock the boat. If you examined your motives, you’d be honest and say you don’t want to lose what you’ve already gained. You simply don’t want to sacrifice what is for the sake of what could be.

You’d be forced to admit that having is more comforting than trusting.

And you’ve allowed ‘wisdom’ to become a substitute for trust.

And that’s bad.

That’s why young leaders are often better risk takers than seasoned leaders—they have less to lose so they risk more.

And that can lead some leaders to stop trusting God because ‘risk’ looks unwise.

When was the last time you had to trust God for the outcome of something? I mean really trust God?

If you can’t remember, it might be a sign you’ve let wisdom kill your trust in God.

Q 2: Does My Trust in God Disregard All Wisdom?

The opposite of course, can also be true. You have so much faith that you’re…well, reckless.

What people claim to be ‘trust’ can easily be:

their ego
their insecurity
a cruel disregard for other people
deep disobedience
irresponsibility

Just because you label it ‘faithful’ doesn’t mean it’s faithful.

If you are disregarding wisdom entirely and likely to hurt a bunch of people you’re likely not being faithful.

Trust still looks like Jesus…and it should have outcomes consistent with his character and with scripture.

If your decision makes you and the people you lead look nothing like Christ, it’s not from Christ.

The Final Call

So…you can go through all of these steps and still not be clear. You knew that, didn’t you?

So what happens if all of this (prayer, scripture, wise counsel and questions like the two questions above) doesn’t lead you to a conclusion?

Here’s what I do.

I just make a decision. So should you.

So many dreams have died because people were terrified to make the wrong decision. Don’t be.

Whatever decision you make, offer it up in faith. Make it faith. Dedicate the decision and the outcome to God, like Paul suggests in Romans 14:23.

A prayer like that can sound something like this:

God I”m doing this (or not doing this) because I trust you. If it’s wrong, I trust you will show me. If it’s right, I trust you will show me. I’m trusting you with the outcome.

Then go for it. With confidence and faith. Don’t hold back.

For as Augustine said:

Love God and do whatever you please: for the soul trained in love to God will do nothing to offend the One who is Beloved.

So…what do you think? What are you learning?

What would you add to this discussion?

And maybe even tell me what big decision you’re weighing right now.

Scroll down and leave a comment!

325 Comments

  1. Jeff on May 7, 2020 at 2:12 pm

    Thank you for your comments. I, too, am in a time of waiting and decision making. God has been working in my life in very specific ways over the past few years and now is no different.

    Background –
    I was a pastor for 20+ years. I moved with my family from NY to Cincinnati in 2008 to start a church. I had 4 pastors giving me $400,000 plus 50 people to start my church. Little did I know I would move at the height of the Great Recession. It was within days of moving that all four pastors called and withdrew the money and the people. I was unemployed with 4 children and a wife. I soon got a job delivering pizzas and made a whopping $17,000 the first year. But God provided. I still attempted to get a church started but with working 2 and sometimes 3 jobs while doing so almost put me in the hospital. The next few years would test our family unlike anything we’ve ever known.

    Fast forward to 2016.
    It was in January that I first had the thought that I should quit my pizza delivery job and rely solely upon the school bus job I also had. The difficulty was that I really needed the pizza job since it was my income while the school provided great benefits. And losing the pizza job would drop me below what I needed to survive. My wife also worked as an in-home babysitter at the time. It took me 9 months to finally respond to God’s Spirit to leave the job. It felt like I’d thrown my family under the bus I’d been driving. But God provided and we never missed a payment on anything and, in fact, paid off over $10,000 worth of debt the next year. But then it happened. God spoke again. And it was while I was standing in the atrium at our church that God said, “I want you to leave the school job, too”. What!? Are you kidding me?! How? When? Why? But I knew it was God. So, I submitted my resignation on October 31, 2017 and was unemployed January 1, 2018. I had no idea what God was doing.

    Over the next several months God would work in me like never before. He dug around and prodded and poked and revealed things I never thought were there. He was cleaning house and I was the house.

    My wife was the breadwinner and every month she would tell me what the previous month’s “financial miracle” was. We were ecstatic because not only was every bill paid and paid on time, but God also paid off $3500 worth of debt in 7 months. God had proven himself in every way. But it was one day while sitting on the porch swing with my wife that I told her that I felt God had showed me that this wasn’t the last time this would happen. And the next time would be longer and more intense.

    God provided a new job on July 5, 2018. It was a great job and God truly blessed. Over the course of the following year we were able to pay off $20,000 worth of debt and we were thanking God every single moment for his incredible blessing. And then he did it again.

    It was in late April, early May of 2019 that I had a double whammy. God filled me with two different thoughts and emotions. One was that I was to quit this job and trust him. The other was this overwhelming feeling, like 100 Christmas mornings wrapped up in one, this thought of being the senior pastor at the church where our family attended. It wasn’t an invitation but more like an ordination. But it didn’t seem right because our church had a pastor and it didn’t seem he was leaving anytime soon. And besides, our church is quite large and I’ve never been pastor of a church larger than 600. Within 2-3 weeks the pastor emotion left but the very strong leading to quit my job didn’t. So, I put my note in to quit my job a second time on August 31, 2019.

    It’s been just over 8 months now and I’m still unemployed. Oh, and what I forgot to mention is that my wife also quit her job of babysitting for 30 years because she said she very strongly felt the same thing I was feeling. And to add to the story, both my wife and I and the daughter who still lives at home felt extremely led to pack up our house as if we were moving. So we packed the majority of our house that’s still in boxes and neither my wife nor I have had any income for over 8 months. Yes, we’ve had to occasionally use or credit cards for groceries, etc. but God has also provided money from various sources as well. I’ve applied to approximately 200 jobs since then and only a small handful of jobs have opened to me. And the ones that have opened to me, both my wife and I have agreed God was saying, “No” too.

    I’ll add here that about 6 weeks ago our board of trustees had to let our pastor go for reasons we know not of. Apparently, things weren’t going well between he and them and it had become quite apparent in his sermons and actions. So we now don’t have a pastor and what happened last year continues to resonate in my mind and heart. I’m not pursuing it and leaving that part up to God. I do, however, continue to serve God in the church in various ways.

    We’re out of money. We have no income and no savings. And yet, every time a job comes open we get a feeling of resistance toward it. We have no desire to continue to go further into debt with credit cards but we have to if God doesn’t provide a job or income. So we wait. Literally.

    I spend a great deal of time pursuing God, not just for a job, but for the purpose of knowing him. We’ve talked to some great people who we have huge confidence in for counsel but there’s never a direction one way or the other. We live surrendered lives in every way we know.

    Thanks for listening and believe it or not, there are A LOT of details missing here but you get the gist.

  2. Atheist Man on May 2, 2020 at 7:16 pm

    God isn’t real, and never was.

  3. Kathy on May 1, 2020 at 8:23 pm

    I’ve been in a relationship nearly 7 years. He is in recovery 13 years from addiction. He and I have a wonderful relationship,however, he recently revealed a life of sexual trauma. Since this revelation things are distant, friendly but no future discussed or commitment mentioned. I love him and we get along great. I do not want just friendship. But he is firm in standing in this place. He is in therapy but the therapy has shifted this relationship. What do I do? I’m praying for so many things and directions and tru clarity is simply not happening yet my gut says be patient while this revealed sexual trauma works through healing. Im not needing a definitive answer this second but am I do want to know what I should be doing. I want more but do I just wait or let go or stand still and simple be his friend for now to help him through the therapeutic process. I’m lost and I’m praying but nothing. Help

    • Zane on May 4, 2020 at 9:28 am

      Kathy on May 1st, 2020

      Hello there,

      Here’s my 2 cents Kathy & this is coming from a former addict so I know what I’m talking about.

      Kathy, if your significant other has even told you this in the first place please keep in mind that he only made you aware of this because he loves you & trusts you & sees you as one of the only people in the entire World that he’s able to tell without being judged & all the while welcomed with open arms.
      I know you’re already doing this but be patient, don’t be distant to him, & let him lean on you, but don’t confirm what’s already on his mind? Do NOT tell him, “I need you to do this” or try to turn around by saying, “Honey I’m sorry but what about me? I can’t do this anymore.” which I know is difficult because you’re not happy without your man having a smile on his face & as you love him you need to be intimate with him.

      Also when it comes to this next point DO Not be accusatory but this is extremely important. Make sure he is not watching porn because a lot of drug addict become addicted to something else & if it’s not drugs then porn is another addicting & sinful thing that especially someone with an addictive personality can become buried in all the while being kept completely hidden from you & justified to be hidden as to not hurt your feelings.

      Porn not only kills the sex drive but can create feelings of guilt ESPECIALLY between a Husband & Wife & despite what society says about maturation being OK sometimes the Bible says nothing of the sort & of course has a whole mouthful to say about what lusting after the opposite sex with even so much as just a SINGLE THOUGHT can do to a loving relationship.

      The reason I wanted to have you look at porn as the next possibility is because if he’s isolating then there’s some type of guilt he’s hiding from you & if he’s not isolating completely but silently looks at other women on T. V. or out in public or gets awkward when it comes up in conversation I can almost guarantee it’s porn related especially because of how easily accessible it is now. Eventually men and women alike start preferring a video in HD quality of a male or female that’s a perfect 10 to them & their hand or sex toys instead of the real thing with their less than aesthetically perfect husband or wife due to the desensitization that occurs over prolonged periods of time to sexual immorality in the way of porn.

      My advice is not to be immediately obvious about it but bring up some conversation about it to see how he reacts but make sure not to jump to conclusions.

      Here’s an example – you guys are watching t.v. together & a beautiful girl with a perfect body thick ass & titties is right in front of both of you & say, “holy crap she’s beautiful, hey John Doe, what do you think? If he reacts like,”Oh yeah err umm” or just kind of shrugs it of it means 1 or both of a few different things.

      First off if he disappears shortly afterwards into the bathroom or takes a shower or alone after, he’s probably jerkin’ that chicken

      Second, that woman you thought was 10/10 is only a 5/10 because she’s now Aesthetically AVERAGE because he’s only been cumming to gorgeous woman of his choice with a never ending selection & he’s either shrugging it off with guilt or he’ll light up and agree and try to get you into it with him.

      Third, could be his personality type. Again, it’s extremely important to refrain from jumping to any conclusions. You can always check his Internet Browsing History but don’t stop at the computers. Make sure to check every browser & every device, that’s means phones, laptops, tablets & computers & do not leave any evidence that you’re searching for it as well.
      Also, a cleared browser history can sometimes be even WORSE so watch out for that. If there’s literally NOTHING in the, “All Time” Browsing History that’s a cause for alarm.
      & & again make sure to go through all the browsers such as Firefox, Chrome, Internet Explorer etc. (there’s others)

      Now, let’s say you do the above & find out I was right. Do Not go marching downstairs or straight to him & confront him with, “Ah HA! I caught you!!!”
      That’s only going to bring about anger & further isolation.
      I can’t say this enough but don’t become the voice of his subconscious mind as to avoid being a target for him to lash out in anger because we’ve all been there where you’re slacking at work & you get mad when you’re told to pick up the pace.

      As far as what to do if you do find out that he’s been watching porn, I suggest you not only pray to God & let him know that you’re thankful for him answering your prayers but bring up the topic gently & maybe not directly at first, maybe ask his Psychiatrist to talk to him about it if that’s an issue. Maybe you’re already aware of it but don’t think it’s a big issue.

      OH & one more thing, does he have Jesus in his life? Does he pray? If he’s saved, is he backslidden to the point where he never goes to church, never prays, etc? Rmemeber, it’s actually sinful for someone to actually put all of their trust in another person such as a counselor or to do that without heeding God’s word.
      Jeremiah 17:5 Thus the LORD saith, “Cursed is the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord”

      That verse means God comes first in terms of trust. Well, God comes first in general but the Bible makes it very clear you are lost without God & if you could respond with a little bit about that I can give you my 2 cents regarding that as well but just remember to be gentle, super calm, & forgiving with him just like Jesus would & in that way you can show him that once again he doesn’t need to be fearful of your judgment & can tell you anything regardless of what it is but please make sure to remind him that he can do the same with God & only our LORD and Saviour Jesus Christ can bring about solace & in mind & body & if he’s hurting to put more of his trust into God.

      Anyways, I’d love to help more but can only do so much with limited information. I’ll pray for you Kathy & I’ll pray for your Boo as well! ;]

      • Kathy on May 4, 2020 at 9:36 am

        THANK U SO MUCH FOR YOUR INFO AND UNDERSTANDING THE ADDICTION PART!!! yes hes working a good recovery and is working with Christ. Ill take your advice and move cautiously and again thank u and God bless!!!

  4. Deepu Joy on February 28, 2020 at 1:41 am

    WONDERFUL

    • Rachel Burnette on March 7, 2020 at 11:28 am

      I’ve thought about launching an ebook a long time. My life is unusual, and I want to offer people hope and encouragement like Christ has me. I went for it a week ago, but no sales. I never would want to hurt my family financially, but it seems that’s all I do with my brainy ideas. I pray that God would increase my ability to know whether an investment is of him or not. I don’t mind risking and I know God is good, but it equally hurts when I risk still waiting to use a license I acquired in 2018 and now this book. I feel stupid and like I’ve taken from my family and in different ways I know I have. It makes me sad when all you want to do is please God, but nothing lines up. I suppose it’s just back to the drawing board knowing one day it will all make sense. In the meantime, I’ll get comfortable being very uncomfortable with my results. So many times I want to quit. I want to quit trying to help because it doesn’t seem like I’m making a difference at all. Yet, here I am. Exploring. Still trying to find God’s perfect will in this situation. Press! Press! Press! That’s what’ll do.

    • Marc and Mom on March 13, 2020 at 6:56 pm

      My elderly mother and I live together and are in a home we must vacate soon, we cannot seem to find a decent home under 115k here in North Texas, its getting so frustrating watching maybes become no’s as investors snatch up every good deal and jack the prices up 100%, I feel very hopeless about our deadline and my mother says God has this under control, I want to believe he does, but she has made decisions before with this reasoning that did not end up fruitful, and I spent years resenting those faith based decisions, I thinks sometimes she has such a fear of making her own decisions she relies too much on faith for signs that I think are not always good, or real, faith I do believe is important, but inaction in every little decision because faith seems foolish to me, make a decision, put in the effort, do things and pray for guidance with your due diligence, but to do nothing but pray and wait until you see something you attribute as a direction? It seems impossible to me to constantly live that way about everything…even when later on that was a bad thing, or harmful…I hope I’m making sense. God gave us autonomy and free will to live and do, and trust him of course in times of need, but also to do things using our brains and wisdom he gave us and we learn. I feel she is paralyzed by her faith and its more often than not fear at the root and the end result tends to be the final option and so she takes that as God, idk, God please forgive me and know I am just tired and weary of this time, it’s too much, too many variables in so many aspects of our lives right now, we need deliverance and result right now, I can’t bare much more turmoil, I’m asking for your hand to move and make things come together, give us some relief, we need finality, I need to breathe easy and regroup. Please Lord. It is important to be thankful for all the Lord does in our lives and the things he doesn’t do that we think are good, its his will only that I want because it will produce fruit. Please Lord.

      • Kimberly on March 30, 2020 at 8:49 pm

        I know what it’s like to want to cry out to church family online. And I know what it’s like to feel as if life is relenting on God’s every promise. But just cry out to Jesus, and, like your mom, wait for answers in the quiet of your heart. Maybe you can prayerfully consider talking with your mom about selecting an assisted-living home. Lutheran Services is among many Christian groups that seem to have a strong, faithful nurse-home system in Texas. And, at the same time, maybe prayerfully think about any direction for yourself that you haven’t asked for already. Talk with your mom. And talk with Heaven. … Even if it’s Heaven’s intent for you to take care of your mom the rest of her days, there are lots of people doing so without a lot of expense. Just pray, do your research, and talk as needed.

    • Randy Adams on March 14, 2020 at 1:27 pm

      I am making the decision whether to continue in ministry situations
      even though my wife is in her late 70’s and more susceptible to the
      Corona virus. We co-pastored a church for 12 years. The last thing
      I want to do is infect her. I am probably going to curtail my ministry
      situations until after the virus peaks and dissipates. In the beginning
      I wanted to step out by faith and continue preaching and teaching
      but Godly wisdom tells me that my wife’s health is more important
      and that this is only for a season. I appreciate any comments.

      • Anna on March 30, 2020 at 7:16 am

        Praying for wisdom.
        My own two cents is to continue in the ministry that you already have, not adding anything, and to do it with care as if you were a doctor treating his patients, who has the same situation with his wife. The souls of people are at stake, not just their physical bodies. Find someone who can take over for you or you can train to do so. Do this quickly, but not rushed. Then go home and take care of your wife for the rest of your days. Do not worry about provision because God takes care of his own. God be with you.

    • Leba AhabiYA Halofaki on April 10, 2020 at 3:42 am

      Enjoyed reading through that.
      Yes, make the decision which you entrusted to God before making and will entrust Him with your tomorrows and the outcome of your decision. LET GOD!!

  5. HE on February 27, 2020 at 3:26 am

    I have learnt that …
    We are ordinary people serving an Extra Ordinary God
    Obedience is much better than being too clever
    Being lonely is ok if we understand that He will never leave or forsake us
    Pain, Disappointment, Worry, Uncertainty are all part and parcel of the journey of being carried by Himwho leaving His footprint on the sand
    I have learnt that it’s Ok to love Him even though we feel at times abandoned.
    The Fathers blessing on all of you.

  6. TCMD on February 11, 2020 at 4:32 pm

    I am a divorced Christian man, whose marriage was ended by an unfaithful wife after 9 years. I have healed and have gotten back out into the dating world. I have connected with someone that is a very special woman, and someone that has shown me what it truly means to be a partner in a relationship. We’ve only been seeing each other for a few months, but we have grown through our relationship tremendously. We both love the Lord and have made that a priority in our day to day. She was raised Catholic and I am a Non-Denominational Christian. Through our discussions I believe we are very aligned on things like salvation and developing a direct relationship with God. We currently are attending each other’s church services to gain better alignment with each other and understand how our relationships with God have formed through our lives. She has made it clear that if we were to progress into marriage and children, she would want to raise them in the Catholic church (while also attending church services within my home church). This makes me uncomfortable some, but I struggle to understand if it is something that would be compromising to my own faith. I’ve had the feeling of “If God is the center of our relationship, why would God be a reason to end it?” My family disagrees with me and does not approve of the idea of moving forward in this relationship, but I think that may be Wisdom Killing My Trust? At this time, this relationship is worth the risk, and I don’t want to over think things.

    I have prayed over this relationship a lot over the past couple months, and we’ve even prayed together. My prayers have always left me feeling calm, and encourage to move forward with the relationship, so when I read this message (and some of the comments) I feel peace that God is telling it is worth the risk at this time. “Love God and do whatever you please: for the soul trained in love to God will do nothing to offend the One who is Beloved.”

    I guess I just wanted to put this out there and see if there is something that I may be missing that I haven’t thought of yet. We continue to learn about the differences/similarities of our upbringing, but I feel encouraged.

    • Loret on February 12, 2020 at 12:38 am

      Catholics pray to the Virgin Mary which is not supported by the bible. The have Saints they revere and pray to also not supported by the bible. The Rosary is not in the bible. In Fact, God says not to pray by rote Matt 6:7. Catholics do not base their beliefs on the bible alone but also give equal importance to church tradition. The dogma of the Pope contradicts the bible. The continuous chain of apostolic succession from the Apostle Peter to give authority over the lay people also contradicts the bible. Christianity is not about consecrating specific people but rather the belief that anyone may be called of God, man or woman. Unless one is Catholic they are not allowed to participate in communion so rather than salvation being the right of participation it is “membership” to the catholic church that is upheld as the right to partake in communion. These are some of the differences I know and they don’t line up with God’s word no matter what. I feel you two are much further apart in your beliefs than you realize. God says don’t be unequally yoked 2 Cor. 6:14 and if you are trying to blend 2 different belief systems into one, then that is being unequally yoked. You asked if God is the center of your relationship why would He end it? Because you 2 really are not on the same page about Him. Lastly, you quote saint Augustine……that quote goes against the bible. There is no where in the bible that says “do what ever you please” and yes we can love God and still offend Him. Augustine mixed agnostic views with christianity and was a follower of Plotinus who believed there was the “One” supreme being. Yet the Catholic Church canonized him and made him a saint……

      • C Buff on February 20, 2020 at 10:40 pm

        I have recently began talking to someone online who I have never met. He is long distance and I am a natural skeptic. I didn’t think anything would come of it but as we have been talking for months, I have felt so much peace about it. When I turn to my friends I am filled with lots of fear and doubt about being deceived but when I pray about it, I feel a lot of Gods peace and feel like God is telling me to just trust. I am choosing to trust that God will reveal all things I the end as I continue on to grow this relationship that I feel has been unlike any others, in how we communicate and share and encourage one another in our faith. I continue to pray and put it in Gods hands and continue to receive peace and encouragement. This is hard for me but I am choosing to believe that whatever happens, whether success or failure I will be ok because in the end I am choosing to trust God and his hand in all things.

      • JM on February 22, 2020 at 1:01 pm

        Catholics believe that saints are our friends in Heaven. Just as we ask our friends on earth to pray for us, we ask our friends in Heaven to pray for us. In the Hail Mary, Catholics ask for Mary to pray for us. “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you, blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus (Luke 1:28,31 ), Holy Mary, Mother of God pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.”

        In the Rosary, Catholics meditate on the mysteries of Christ while praying the Hail Mary. For instance, the 5 sorrowful mysteries are: The Agony in the Garden (Matthew 26:36-46), The Scourging at the Pillar (Mark 15:15), The Crowning with Thorns (Mark 15:17), The Carrying of the Cross (John 19:17), and The Crucifixion (John 19:18).

        Catholics believe that the Eucharist is the actual body and blood of Jesus Christ. (John 6:55-66). Belief in this “true presence” is needed to participate in Holy Communion (see 1 Corinthians 11:27-30) in the Catholic Church.

        • Rhonda Landry on February 23, 2020 at 1:57 am

          JM

          We are not supposed to be praying to anyone but God. The bible says that Jesus is our intercessor… Not Mary or anyone else. So our prayers are heard by people in heaven?? Please provide supporting scripture on that?? We pray to God only. The one who hears our prayers… And knows what we are going to ask before we even ask it. Mary… And the other ‘friends’ are not listening to our prayers or answering requests from those still on Earth.

          Where do ppl come up with this stuff??

          • JM on February 23, 2020 at 1:30 pm

            Rev 5:8



      • Rhonda on February 23, 2020 at 1:48 am

        Great response. These were my thoughts as well. I didn’t know about Augustine but I knew that was not at all a biblical quote. I believe a child of God stands still until God directs. We should never just make a decision. If God hasn’t given direction yet he just hasn’t. Otherwise we put God on our own time clock and we don’t trust His timing. Great article but the writer lost me at that quote.

    • Rhonda Landry on February 23, 2020 at 1:44 am

      Catholicism and Christianity are nothing alike. In other words she’s Catholic… Not a Christian which you are. That’s a major issue. You’re unequally yoked. That’s why you have an issue already when deciding how you would raise kids. How can two walk together unless they agree??

      When trying to hear clearly from God it’s important to shut other people’s opinions out for a ‘time’. In order to hear only from Him. But in this case I will say the bible answers your dilemma specifically. Don’t overlook that.

      Blessings

    • Kathy H. on March 6, 2020 at 12:59 pm

      You may agree on some spiritual things, but what do you disagree on? Those are the areas that will cause problems later on. Did Mary remain a virgin? The Bible says No; Catholicism says Yes. That’s a problem. Who is the Head of the Church: Jesus or the Pope? Problem. What is the final authority: the Holy Bible or the Pope’s declarations? Problem. The list goes on.

      Here is a question for you: Are you willing to give her up and wait to see if God brings her back to you? If not, then you’re not following God’s way. If you are, then you should probably do that and let God reign in your life.

    • Jane De Vries on March 8, 2020 at 2:13 am

      To: TCMD
      I would line up all the ways her Catholic beliefs do and not do align up with scripture. I’ve met born again Catholics but some still hold to many of the Catholic beliefs that aren’t in the Bible, this could be an unequally yoked relationship as the Bible teaches. I may be wrong but the very fact she has already told you how you will raise your children doesn’t sound right. If your family is emotionally healthy, I would consider strongly what they are saying. Sometimes we get blinded by love. One last point. I would investigate, and maybe you have, what part did you play in your divorce and wife’s unfaithfulness. She had that in her before you were married. In a way, you allowed it and supposedly unaware, but I believe it takes 2 to Tango. What things looking back did you overlook? Were you in any way enabling her to be unfaithful without recognizing it? I think a time out for prayer and fasting would be appropriate. “Search me Oh God, and know me, see if there be any wicked way in me.” After the honeymoon is over, I heard it can be brutal trying to become one. May God open your heart and mind to see clearly.

      • Loret on March 8, 2020 at 2:26 am

        Hold on. When it comes to one spouse cheating on the other, the cheater is solely responsible. Even the bible lays this responsibility solely on the cheater. Math 5:27-30. It is an extraordinarily difficult and complex situation to repair and most cannot. So lets not blame the victim. As far as the rest of you advice, it is good advice.

        • Kathy H. on March 8, 2020 at 5:11 pm

          I don’t see where Matt 5:27-30 is laying the blame in the sense that the other spouse didn’t play a role. A woman needs to keep her man interested in her. A man needs to make sure his wife knows she loves him, daily. Women don’t understand how a man is enticed by the looks of other women, and men don’t understand that women need constant reassurance of his love for her.

          It’s true that the cheater isn’t being faithful, but that doesn’t mean that the other person didn’t push him/her away somehow. A relationship involving two people requires the work of both people to keep the relationship going. I know someone who blames her husband for the divorce, but I see where she pushed him away, ignoring him, bossing him, and so on. Her eyes are blind to her own faults and the role that she played in it. That doesn’t excuse him, of course. He’s still the one who left. I’m just saying that, as the other person said, it takes two to tango.

          There’s a book called “Love Life” (can’t remember the author) which has a chapter in it telling how one person (one of the spouses) can save the marriage.

          • Loret on March 9, 2020 at 5:13 pm

            Kathy H, I’m not going to answer you again. You are wrong about a spouse “pushing” another into an affair. As the former wife of a cheater, I did nothing to deserve my husband taking his body into another woman’s bed and emotionally divorcing me. Cheating is NEVER the victims fault or responsibility.



    • Joanne on March 28, 2020 at 10:25 pm

      If you have children you understand what God means by being our Father. In raising my children I learned that they did not all get my lessons in the same way – I had to reach them differently. You are praying to the same God – She may need to hear the message differently – and your children may need different guidence altogether.
      Be open and allow God’s spirit to enter so each person understands, We are all different and will take different paths – as long as we reach the same end – that is all that matters.

  7. Christina on February 4, 2020 at 2:11 pm

    Hi,

    I’m currently pregnant after an early loss this summer. I had a dream at the beginning of this pregnancy that I had a baby girl named Sophia. The beginning of a pregnancy, especially after a loss, is very scary and the dream was very comforting. Turns out, I’m pregnant with a girl and now my husband and everyone says I have to name her Sophia. I do believe it was sign or message from God to comfort and reassure me but I’m not at peace with the name Sophia. I want to name her Eliana which means God answered me but am I ignoring God’s message for her to be named Sophia?

    • Carey Nieuwhof on February 5, 2020 at 6:48 pm

      Hey Christina,

      Do you have a pastor that you can trust that you could talk about this with? I can see the argument either way, someone who knows you better might be able to give better counsel than I.

      Cheering for you!

      • Christina on February 6, 2020 at 12:15 pm

        Hi,

        I do and have reached out. Thank you for your response!

        • Jiri on February 8, 2020 at 6:47 pm

          I honor you. This message speaks about fear masked as wisdom. Do not be afraid to make a decision. Sophia, Eliana, both are beautiful names for a beautiful daughter that you cherish. Let me share a bit of my story to edify you. Me and my wife came up with many names before we lost our two pregnancies. I was too worried to make the right choice. Turns out any name would be a blessing if the little ones came to be. And guess what, regarding your child you don’t even have to make the choice. She can be Sophia Eliana if you want. Or either one. God wants no malice on your soul. It is the devil that likes to see you worried. The truth is YOU are fully qualified as the mother and God gave you full authority to name her. And God has used me as someone who is gaining resistance to worrying today to deliver this message to you. Do not be worried, and please do not worry about having to obey by picking a name. Jesus gave his life for you in an act of genuine love. His name was Yeshua, people know him as many names, e.g. Christ. There might be a time in life when your daughter becomes Sophia for a specific reason and I pray you will witness that and that it will be glorious. The important thing is for you to focus on growing that precious life instead of worrying. Life is not about you or me as selfish individuals with burdens, it is about us as people together overcoming those burdens. May you and your family stay blessed in Christ Christina.

          • Christina on February 11, 2020 at 12:42 pm

            Thank you so much for your response and insight. I really do appreciate you taking the time to provide me with such a thoughtful answer. I’ve reread your message several times and find a lot of comfort in what you have written. We will continue to pray for her and her name with a lighter heart and mind and thank you again.



    • Kathy H. on March 6, 2020 at 1:04 pm

      What does your husband say? It’s his baby, too.

      • Christina on March 6, 2020 at 3:22 pm

        Of course it’s also his baby which is why I mentioned in my original post what he says. I should mention that we have decided on a name, Eliana Sophia, since my original post. When we first found out it was a girl his first reaction was that we should name her Sophia. However, he has been very clear. If it were 100% only up to him he would name her Sophia to be on the safe side if that is what God intended with my dream for her to be named Sophia, but he’s also seen me struggle and pray and reach out for guidance and how I keep coming back to Eliana and he is fully on board with naming her Eliana Sophia as well. He said since I’m the one who had the dream and have been struggling with it, he’ll leave the order in which we name her up to me. He doesn’t feel conflicted at all and supports whatever I come to peace with through prayer. Dream aside he prefers Eliana but we are both happy knowing that Sophia will be included in her name.

  8. PJ on February 2, 2020 at 2:12 pm

    I recently started a new job, and have gone through 2 weeks of training. In the short time that I’ve been there, I’ve realized there is a position within the company that would better suite me and my future career goals. I want to apply for the other position, but i don’t want to step on anyone’s toes or offend the company since I’ve only just started in the new position. Should i take a risk and apply for whAt i truly want? Or should i invest more time into the position I’ve just started and wait it out? I’m tired of settling in my life, and i just want to make smart and powerful career moves. Thank you for this post! It’s really helped!

    • Clair on February 3, 2020 at 2:57 am

      Apply for job you want. Don’t worry about other people. Follow God only. I have made many huge mistakes in my life listening and worrying about what other people think and say. Get a vision and wisdom from God and go for it. Ignore everything else.

      • PJ on February 4, 2020 at 7:26 pm

        I appreciate your response! Thank you! I ended up speaking with my supervisor about the position and found out i needed a few months in my current position before i could apply and transfer into the new role. It felt good to go for it and now i have a new goal to work towards!

    • Carey Nieuwhof on February 3, 2020 at 3:55 pm

      Is this something you could explain to your current supervisor?

      They might be able to give you guidance on what you can do to get that position.

      • PJ on February 4, 2020 at 7:29 pm

        Great advice, Carey. I ended up speaking with my supervisor about the position and found out i would need to be in my current position for a few months before i can apply and transfer into the new role. I really appreciate your insight with this. Doing this allowed me to put myself out there for once, and also build better rapport with my supervisor. Thank you!

        • Carey Nieuwhof on February 5, 2020 at 6:39 pm

          So glad to hear that you had that conversation. I hope that you get that position in a few months.

          Cheering for you!

  9. JM on January 16, 2020 at 5:07 am

    We were supposed to go on a short-term mission to the Philippines when the news of a sudden volcanic eruption put a hold on the plans. It could have been easier if it happened long before the mission. However, we got the news of the safety concern while at the airport waiting for our flight. Naturally, the question of whether to push through or cancel came up. And as we prepared to wait for the flight to resume (the Philippine airport had already cancelled all operations by then), we had the whole night to make a decision.
    Our mission team is comprised actually of 2 churches working together. The bigger group is a seasoned missional church who regularly goes to the Philippines twice a year since 2008 or 2009. Our church is quite new in missions, this being our second one. So, it was almost definite that even with the safety issue and danger, the bigger group will “faith it out” and go for it. We, on the other hand, had to sadly back out.
    Days after, here I am still bothered by our decision. Did we make the right choice? Should we have just gone and by faith in Him who will not allow danger to fall on us, missionaries and gospe-sharers, do the task we had been preparing all year long for?
    Now, after reading your article, it became clearer to me that the choice we made is actually a choice of faith as well. But i justs couldnt help but be worried that we may be wrong.

  10. Melissa on January 14, 2020 at 9:11 pm

    I’ve been praying for my husband who is an alcoholic, bipolar, and therefore mentally abusive. He’s finally improving by going to AA, therapist, getting medication, and going to church. He’s showing interest in the men’s group at church. Many people and counselors are just so ready for me to divorce him. Papers are ready but I’m so confused on whether I’m giving up before God is finished with him. How can I pray for healing for him and to ask God for those things and then divorce him right when he begins to turn the corner? I don’t know if I’m still continuing codependent behavior or I should give it more time. My family wants nothing to do with him and I’m also torn in the middle. They want me to be happy and free of this behavior. Any suggestions?

    • Carey Nieuwhof on January 14, 2020 at 9:45 pm

      Hey Melissa,

      I’m not totally comfortable giving advice to you since I don’t know you personally. I would recommend surrounding yourself with pastors and counselors who will give you sound advice and listen to them. If many wise friends are saying the same thing and praying about it, you might want to listen to them.

      I hope you have a better year ahead.

      Carey

      • Belinda on January 16, 2020 at 1:16 am

        I enjoyed reading this post, thank you Carey. I am in a situation and I blame myself for it, because once upon a time I made a promise to God that I shall NEVER cry for another man. I had twins and I had a choice in giving them up because adoption agencies were just waiting for me. I could never do it, I decided I will have a way to get through. Then I met this mature person, so I thought, according to him, he was divorced and had two children. Anyway two years down the road we moved in together and then his ex calls and says they are not divorced, then I found out he had 4 children, that should of been, GET OUT NOW moment, but no I decided I am holy spirit junior and I am going to show him Jesus and I will get through it. 19 years later I am bitter and don’t trust and I do believe that God is all loving and all things are possible, but for others not for me. I hurt God. Now I am in a financial rut and I am not working, my twins just finished matric, I am in South Africa and my twins were born in America. I can’t afford education for them, I had a plan for their education but because of finances, that policy is cancelled. I did tell him, my husband now that we need to find a way to get out of this financial mess, he says sell the house, I go my way and he goes another way. I want to get out of this mess and I need to get work but its like looking for a needle in a haystack. I have Christian group but they say trust God He will make a way and yes He will but He is looking past me. Thank you.

    • Loret on January 14, 2020 at 9:51 pm

      God hates divorce because marriage represents His relationship and commitment to us. He’s committed to us no matter how we are, who we are and what we are. He loves us through the good and the bad. He asks us to do the same. (No one should stay in a marriage if they are in danger and it doesn’t sound like you are. )

      I suggest you try 2 more things before you give up. Get a book called “The Love Dare” by Stephen and Alex Kendrick. You can get it used off Amazon. I got a copy through Kindle Reader for $6.37. It is a 40 day study on marriage that if you do it, you will change for the better and with it, your marriage will change for the better. My second suggestion is after you get the book, give your marriage 40 more days because that is how long it will take you to get through the book. You’ve lasted this long so you think you can do 40 more days?

      To encourage you, I used this book to change a relationship with a friend and it has worked wonders. So I really hope you will try it because I’m positive it will change you and your marriage for the better too. Get the book, read and do what it says each day for 40 days. Chapters are very short. Homework doesn’t take much time. Blessings.

      Father, Please help Melissa in all ways she needs help. Guide her through this difficult situation. Bring other Christians along side her that will support her, comfort her, pray for her and help her as she needs. Either change the attitude of the church she is in or find her a new church home. As Melissa works through the book, give her the strength to stick with it to the end, to trust you in this endeavor and really learn a new perspective about love, Your perspective on what love really is and how to give it to her husband like you love her and all your children. As Melissa works through this book and does the home work, open her husbands heart to respond in positive and loving ways so healing of this marriage is accomplished. In Your name I pray, Amen

      One more thing, any church that told, urged or supported me going against God’s word….well I’d find a new church. Quickly.

    • Naomi on February 25, 2020 at 4:49 am

      Hi there! Last summer, I suddenly became closer to God and for the past half year, He has been teaching me a lot. I am currently doing Electrical engineering bachelor’s degree but the closer I get to God, the more I am stirred in my heart about this. When I chose to pursue engineering, I did it because it’s a good career and a good investment. But honestly, my heart is not in it. I don’t enjoy it and I don’t know how I will serve God with this degree.
      So two days ago, I was on YouTube watching a music piece that I loved so much. Suddenly it hit me, maybe I should pursue music instead. I have always loved music and I currently serve as in the worship team in my local church. I suddenly have a deep desire to commune with the Lord through music (especially through playing an instrument) because I feel there are some things that I cannot express in words but through music, I can pour it all out deeply.
      I don’t know if this is from God and I am quite scared to jump right in. I’ve googled and it seems there are very few opportunities in music and I can’t help but feel confused if it’s really faith or I am just being foolish. I pray that God will clearly show me His will for my life at the moment.

      • Kimberly on March 30, 2020 at 9:17 pm

        Naomi, It seems like you tried to lighten the tone of this conversation, by changing the subject. So I’m not sure whether you’re serious with your question or not. But, if you are, I feel like God gives us clear callings, and that talking with your youth group and pastor, prayerfully, may give you more certainty. I feel like certainty, in Jesus, doesn’t doubt at all, and that’s what I mean by having a clear calling: something you just know and know is what you ‘re to do in life. That said: There are lot’s of musicians and other artists who also are engineers, and I’m sure there were times when they got bored with their studies.

        • Kimberly on March 30, 2020 at 9:22 pm

          Forgive my typo s ‘ !

  11. Red Truth on December 21, 2019 at 6:59 pm

    Maybe some details are missing on what is being said against you but have you thought about any other perspectives on why this is happening to you? No one is perfect or ideal and no one is the best worker or the best performer but God calls Christians to excellence in every aspect of our lives. Ask yourself, are you doing the best you can? Have you realized there may be another level you could reach by putting in more effort? Are you aware of your potential?

    I see many Christians claim they are hurt but in reality I believe they are simply easily defeated and give into the victim mentality. Sure, that mentality provides some affirmation and comfort from others. But, that is all you will receive. When will the time come where you grow and dominate the obstacles ahead of you? When will you muster up some strength? Do you not know who you are in Christ? If not, ask God to reveal it to you. You will be amazed and no regret will be found.

    Prayer and fasting is good, no doubt about that. But when will ACTION see the day in your life? Faith without works is dead. Works are actions. No one disciples people without speaking up or meeting them somewhere.

    Life is not a game. You do not stay idle in life. Life is not about comfort. In fact, believing in Christ, you may have unknowingly signed up for an even more difficult life.

    I challenge you to challenge whatever mountain is in front of you. – and you have dominion over it. Obviously, do not respond to your coworker in an aggressive manor. Assertive is ok, but not through violence.

    I hope your eyes are opened and your mind is renewed. God called you to strength not weakness. Being humble and having humility is good but being a pushover is not a means to an end.

    • John on January 7, 2020 at 8:27 am

      In my experience, I find that God is sovereign. He may answer your prayer; He may not. I put my faith in Him to do the impossible, and have come up short , setback in life and in my faith. I gain nothing by saying this if my goal was to comment in anger, as I will face Him as the rest of will I’m judgement day and give an account. I just want someone out there to know that God does not always follow through; He is able, and that is where your Hope should lie: the real question is whether he is willing. If He is not, He’s sovereign, no matter how many scriptures you quote, how many times you put him in remembrance of his word, etc. If He IS willing, give him praise and be grateful.
      In short: His ability has NOTHING to do with your reality: only his willingness to keep his word. That’s really all that matters.
      He has failed me in things that I cannot get back. So, when He does keep his word, I want to remember that and be grateful.
      As for faith, you SHOULD test the waters and see if he’s faithful: if he keeps his word to you, give him praise and encourage others . You have to find out for yourself. Action is the key word; and all I write here is based on the truth of mine and Gods ACTIONS. Because in the end, that is all that matters.

    • Henry Eliathamby on January 8, 2020 at 12:56 am

      I have lived a life. I have walked the path. In my heart I have seen the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Spurgeon says it well …

      The Lord gets his best soldiers out of the highlands of affliction.
      Charles Spurgeon

      May His Face shine upon you

  12. Anonymous on December 7, 2019 at 10:35 am

    God really sucks altogether.

    • Judy on December 7, 2019 at 5:44 pm

      Yeah, struggling with this one.
      Seems it’s his friggin way or the highway.
      I am on SSDI and $$$ for food is very tight.
      Seems like I am always dropping/spilling food in the kitchen that I can’t afford to lose.
      Wouldn’t ya think he could help me out here?

      • Victoria Washington on December 18, 2019 at 11:55 pm

        Yes! God is able. God cares! God will provide. I too have struggled at times and seen Gid works makes to provide for me. I pray that you will see God provide you and your family. As your Creator, I know God cares for you.

      • Dot on December 26, 2019 at 7:46 am

        I’m so sorry. This is a very real issue…just wanting to get food to your mouth!
        I am praying for you. Don’t give up!

        • Kimberly on March 30, 2020 at 10:32 pm

          Amen.

      • Kathy H. on March 6, 2020 at 1:15 pm

        What is your relationship like with Him? Do you treat Him as your loving Father, or are you rebelling against Him? Why do you think that He should stop you from spilling food? I certainly would never expect my own earthly father to do that for me, certainly not after the age of being a young child, when spilling things might be expected. Why are you spilling food in the first place? Are you not being careful with the things that God has given you? He has provided you with food, so why are you spilling it? If there is any blame here, it’s not on God. God is perfect and loving and kind and merciful and gracious, and a bunch of other good things. Switch your attitude toward that and start trusting Him as a good God. He’ll come through for you, but not if you’re rebelling against Him or fighting Him or blaming Him for things that you’re doing yourself.

    • mccar on December 9, 2019 at 6:51 am

      hi how are you doing

      • Judy on December 9, 2019 at 10:48 am

        Ok
        Been better
        Thanks for asking
        Prayers are always appreciated

    • Christi on December 13, 2019 at 6:52 pm

      I loved this article. Because I am facing an impossible situation that has just about worn me out. I’ve felt like the anxiety was going to kill me before I ever saw the miracle come to pass.
      God woke me one night and told me to ask for something big.
      Something impossible.
      And so I did. Now I have been struggling and put myself into a position where it looks from a human perspective that all hope is lost.
      But, your article has told me otherwise. God is testing me. My faith and I will receive my miracle. With faith and His power.
      Not by my strength. But His
      Thank you for helping me tonight.

      • Steph on January 12, 2020 at 6:47 pm

        Hey! I’m actually going through something similar right now? None of my efforts seem to be working out and it seems impossible to overcome this situation. Do you have any advice? Thanks!

    • Haydee on December 14, 2019 at 8:34 am

      Nah, man, He doesn’t.
      If you believe that then you must be thinking of a different god. This one is good. 1 John 1:5.

    • Amy Ingram on December 18, 2019 at 6:54 pm

      He apologized on the cross. Either it’s enough for you or it’s not. You have two choices: 1) live as though the world and its creator owe you something and in essence become part of the problem or 2) live as though you’re valuable by virtue you bear His image and live to make this world a better place and become part of the solution. Hint: you can’t do both simultaneously. 😉

      • Jennifer Lewz on April 13, 2020 at 4:54 pm

        I was lucky to see Robinson Buckler on a site after seeing a lots of testimony and good work he have done in the lives of people helping them to get their ex husbands and wives renewing their relationship i was convinced and i contacted him and just in 3 days after the spell was caste my beloved husband came looking for me and right now we are together again and he is taking care of me and the little kids as his responsibilities and family. Once again thank you here are his contact to reach him. ((robinsonbucler@ gmail)). com………………………………………………………………….😘🤗🧡💝❤💐🥀

        • Loret on April 13, 2020 at 5:50 pm

          You went to a soothsayer? Really? Get behind me Satan.

          Leviticus 19:31. Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God.

    • Victoria Washington on December 19, 2019 at 12:01 am

      Often times when we hear of God’s sovereignty, we confuse that to mean that every single occurrence is authored by God. That would mean that God is torturously orchestrating genocide, poverty, disease, rape etc. If that were the truth of God, I’d totally agree with you. God allows freewill. People and spirits are free to choose their actions. Some choose evil actions. God steps in to reconcile the evil done to us.

    • Tiffany on December 20, 2019 at 2:18 am

      Dig deep… it’s easy to give up. I’ve been homeless …& struggle beyond. You would look-see me & perhaps judge me… but if we had a conversation you would hear my kindness soul…know I’m damaged or not.
      I will pray for you & a miracle you to like I find our way together. He made us. We are perfect in his eyes ….why would we let sin win w/bad thoughts. Let’s work harder together.
      Amen 🙏🏻

  13. Anonymous on December 1, 2019 at 6:26 pm

    God Sucks.

    • Bryan on December 14, 2019 at 9:24 am

      No he doesn’t we just think so because we are struggling with our flesh, most of the time and remember the battlefront is in the mind before we act we have to trust without wavering easier said than done right? Well is not a God that created the whole universe in total control??

  14. Patty on December 1, 2019 at 1:30 pm

    I like your last statement, Tony. “Silent for a reason”…. Indeed, I’ve found it so. 🙂 Peace to you.

  15. Tony on December 1, 2019 at 3:10 am

    This is very in-Dept and helpful. God never fails and his promises for you will surely come to pass. When the faith is strong, miracles happen in every aspect of your life. It worth to keep on waiting on God. He is silent for a reason.

    • Ryan k on December 4, 2019 at 3:11 am

      Thank you for the encouragement your response was like a flood of relief. He is silent for a reason. I have been suffering from health issues and financial difficulties. And i have been asking god for help for along time he has helped in certain situations that I noticed. I recently got a co worker who seams to love creating conflict and due to lack of sleep and exhaustion and sickness i let him goad me into blowing up at him. I feel horrible because that is not the character of Jesus. But this co worker has been doing this for weeks and it wears on you. I want to aske if the brothers and sisters out there can pray for me in health, financial and help dealing with this kind of co worker. He intentionally finds small things that doesn’t affect his shift and tries to boss me around to create conflict. And its to the pont where i try to avoid talking to him. (For when 2 or more are gathered in his name he is there.) please pray for me.

      • Loret on December 4, 2019 at 8:32 am

        I have a button pusher in my life, too. Walking away is a great strategy because they want you to engage in an angry way. We all do what gets us results. So for button pushers, disengagement is the opposite of what they want. The second thing is to understand that while this feels personal, it really isn’t. It is about something that hurts them, that happened when you were not around and for some reason, you have become the target of their anger. Once you understand and believe that it isn’t personal, it will be very hard for them to get at you. When he’s bossing you, politely listen, thank him for his advice and do it all with a smile and gentleness. This sends the message you are not going to do as they say while at the same time you are giving them the respect you want. If that doesn’t stop the bossing after trying it for a few times , then just say “enough” and walk away. Gentle rebukes are ok. Finally, treat them as we are instructed in 1 Cor 13. Do it to the point of doing nice things for them. It doesn’t take much and a few nice things make it quite difficult for them to keep up what they are doing. I got my button pusher a cup of coffee from the pot, left a dark chocolate bar on his desk (loves dark choc) and just took a few minutes, here and there, to ask him how he is. My nice things cost me little but were thoughtful, and made it quite difficult for my button pusher to continue to be a jerk. Ask God what nice things you can do and he will show you what you to do for your button pusher. It has taken a few weeks to start to see significant change but it is happening for me and it can for you too.

        One other thing, this battle isn’t with your coworker. We all have difficulties with other people but the battle to coexist isn’t with them. It is with the enemy. Scripture says this too. And the enemy wants our focus on anything and everything but God so we are not accomplishing God’s work, we make a bad witness or just because he hates us and likes to mess with us. Keep your focus on God. When you resist the enemy, he flees. James 4:7, Eph 6:12

        I have prayed for you. God will answer you and defend you, too, as He promises. 1 Peter 5:7

      • Kelly on December 18, 2019 at 1:48 am

        I will pray

      • Sweetie on December 18, 2019 at 8:39 am

        i hear you & had a similiar situation. KNOW YOUR ENEMY….and pray for them, pray for yourself asking Abba God to help u deal directlty and properly with this irritating nut. Miserable attention seekers want to control every one around them because they have lots of problems they spread around. Keep distant. Ignore Be kind but let them move along. Do NOT allow him to move you!

      • Joanna on January 14, 2020 at 3:19 pm

        Hi, I can only share my story. For a long time (nearly ten years), I was supporting sometone who had a drink problem, was having seizures and ended up in trouble with the police, being sectioned and having a terrible accident (he’d already had a brain injury from a road accident). I moved to a small island with him and began to suffer from trauma from his accident and seizures (I felt totally helpless). I’d been praying for so long that God help him quit the drink. God didnt take away his desire to drink. One day I said I can no longer do this, God please stop his seizures, please lead him to salvation, please help me to truly love this man despite his pattern of destruction. God has since stepped in and brought me peace. And when the man downed a whole bottle of gin in one go recently, he never had a withdrawal seizure. God did it for me and for my friend. I realised I was asking the wrong things. People have hurts and free will, my asking that he stop drinking wasnt ever going to work as it wasnt his will. Ask for yourself, pray that God will help you to feel love for this co-worker, pray he/she will feel God’s love for them. I once read a book called The Heavenly Man …. in it the man was in prison being beaten and mistreated by fellow prisoners, he could not like them as humans until one morning he awoke and truly felt love for them – on that day he managed to reach them with the truth of God’s love and they came to Christ. I will pray for you in your difficulties. God bless.

    • Tiffany on December 20, 2019 at 2:24 am

      Amen. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

    • Sarah Miller on April 4, 2020 at 4:12 pm

      Why do you feel that way about God?

  16. Carol on November 30, 2019 at 8:03 am

    Hi am not sure here is where I should put my problem but I will…I was diagnosed with breat cancer in 2017 closed my business for treatment finished September 2018 began homeschooling and tutoring Children one on one .I felt call by God to do it however Not with out counsel but am not renting 6000 place and struggle to pay but everything is going good children learning patents happy but am not rreaching the tithe income I need. I CHARGE MUCH lower than I should any how I got a prophetic word it’s what God want me to do …….the land Lord gave me grace to stay until I pay the month if November but now Dec I need rent for two months. Am tryingbto figure out if I got grace to stay, A word to do what am doing where am doing it .Why do I struggle so much …is it wrong to fight to stay or I should just leave. It just six month am doing what am doing..Am trying to figure out if it’s all God why am I putting my land Lord last a distress and myself.. Trying to figure out is it wrong to remain and keep borrowing and having debt if owning ..If it’s Gods willhe have me in fibacialdebt. My family is against it however my church is praying for me for a breakthru.. …I know I have been call to do this but why the great struggle am I wrong to try and stay.. I ask the landlord to leave but she told me She give me grace for a month. ..thr month is over but am still struggling …My question is can this still be God

    • Joanna on January 14, 2020 at 3:26 pm

      I pray for you. Once I had a similar problem, I had no home. I kept praying and then I prayed with my church friends. One person said I see God has given you a ticket for a house but you must receive it into your hand and say thankyou. I did this but later there was still no house. I then watched Angus Buchan, a south African preacher talking about how God provides. After watching this I went out to my local shopa nd asked if there were any houses for rent. I had no money for rent. The lady said she would call her cousin. Five minutes later he arrived. He said he didnt need a deposit and he would wait for my benefit to come through if I couldnt pay rent. He also charged me a very fair rent. Sometimes we have to believe God’s word. Go and see some of your church friends and pray with them again. Dont worry about your family, God is greater and greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world. May God bless you, provide for you and you carry on your amazing work! xx

  17. Patty on November 28, 2019 at 8:48 am

    Thank you for this article, Carey.

    I am 60, and trying to decide about focus for the remainder of my life. Like many, I’ve been through a sad marriage, raised two utterly amazing kids, experienced midlife crises, ended up divorcing my husband of 30 years, evicted my 18 yo son with mental illness (a heartbreak NO mother should EVER have to endure, and thanks only to God and DHS, he is now safe in an apartment of his own), and disowned by my genius daughter, who unbeknownst to us all was SSA all her life and now identifies as pansexual – not a sin or a choice, just not known or understood by me or my ex during her years at home.

    That all divulged, I’m a lifelong Christian, accepted Jesus in 5th grade (after transferring from M.S. Lutheran to Independent Baptist), I now look to God for leadership into the next phase, whatever it will be. I am toggling between two major life commitments: continued study of singing (my lifelong passion) with hopefully a career coming out of it, or seminary with an aim at an MDiv – something I’ve felt tugged toward all my life, but as a young Baptist was told was only for men.

    Deciding between these two paths has been my discernment process for the past 6 months, with sunbursts along the way to encourage me in both directions. People ask why I have to make a choice. I am a person who focuses intensely on one thing at a time, and in so doing produces excellent results. Trying to split myself between the two is becoming so difficult as I get older, I just keep longing for the feeling of wholeness by choosing one direction and sticking with it.

    But I am a very spontaneous individual, if the spontaneity comes from myself. So in spite of wanting to be whole, I find myself getting tired of doing the same thing all the time, so maybe keeping more than one focus is a good idea. But I don’t feel I can sustain that going forward, as my energy is not what it was. Sometimes I think, if I just exercises regularly… or, if I just practiced very consistently…. or, if….. But I know if’s are no way to make a decision.

    And all hinges on money. I have no money, and I can’t seem to get a job anymore, and never was cut out for the jobs I see anyway. With a Bachelor of Music and lifelong experience in singing, I’m pretty much not a good candidate for jobs in offices, or much of anything else at this point. I can’t stand long, I can’t do the new jobs on computers without training, I have a tape in my head all the time that says, “And for this you spent 4 years on college….” And my age is preventing people from seeing possibilities in me.

    So I have to carve out a living for myself, or at least a supplemental income. But my decision can’t be only about money. When you feel called to a ministerial living out of your career, which I always have, you have to consult with God. I’ve been doing that these past six months, and I’ve felt God opening certain doors in both directions. But I always hit a wall, and then I wonder if I’ve listening to God, or just my childish self, dreaming of things I cannot do.

    So that’s my decision. Seminary would almost certainly require more debt, and I’m up to my eyeballs already, including a student loan from a failed attempt at a MAT at George Fox (two weeks in summer generated $11,000, which has now grown to $14,000).

    I feel the call to answer God’s invitation when I was young, to work for God, especially seeing the abuse the LGBTQ+ community is receiving from fundamentalists/evangelicals and knowing the plight of these beautiful people from having researched around my daughter’s issues. I also feel called to speak for the mentally ill, as I’ve been inside that story for about 10 years now.

    Yet always there’s the nagging thought, once an inspiring voice, that says I’ve been gifted with this voice I’ve been neglecting and while there is still something left I should hone it and earn money singing, which wouldn’t be much but has always been a dream of mine. Honing my voice would take ALL my time and energies, and would cost a good portion of my retirement (a small nest-egg received from the divorce), and I don’t know which would be the better stewardship of God’s resource, or whether I should give up the whole nest-egg and do both, or whether I should consider my age and station in life and simply let it all be and get older and more useless – see?

    It spins around in my head, and I haven’t got money to visit counselors etc. I can hardly pay the bills now and also eat and buy gas. But I don’t mean to descend into self pity or complaining here, just point out that I am in a situation that seems to have no answers. And I’ve been doing the peaceful mindfulness praying and breathing and lighting candles for awhile now, which does help me FEEL peaceful, but doesn’t get me any closer to a decision. A spiritual guide I know (not my own) has said I should let things be for now, but others have encouraged me to walk through doors that seem to be opening…. I’m going in circles again.

    Sorry to take up so much space and leave so many words here, but it’s really hard to know where to leave something out if I’m going to paint the picture truthfully. I just wanted to answer your question about what decision I’m working on today. Thanks for the opportunity. I LOVE what you wrote!

    • Liz on December 1, 2019 at 12:11 pm

      Hi Patty, Sounds like a dilemma one very familiar to me, been there, this is what I do when I am facing the question of what to do,.. Pray, fast, read the word of God, then relax and know that God has this,

      Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in Adonai (God) our heavenly father, with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.

      In all your ways aknowledge him, and he will make your path staight.

      This scripture has a special place in my heart, I first I had to read it several times , what does it mean? Do I wait? Do I make a decision? It can be fustrating at times when the answer seems to be wait!

      Thank God one day I awoke and the holy spirit brought this verse to my memory, this time I saw it in a different light, the WORD here was TRUST, I was like wow!

      So I looked up the word trust, meanings;
      Firm belief in the reliability, truth or strength of someone or something., So I realized that when God says something he always backs it up, he always comes through, then I also realized that it says “trust in the Lord with all my heart, meaning it requires an action in my part to act upon on what he is asking me to do, and the second part of that verse is ” lean not on my own understanding” ,

      I had ponder on this one big time because I usually do whatever I think is best, but with this verse, I had to summit to God’s will for my life for whatever decision he dicided was best for me, because he knows the future and he lovingly will not allow that which will disrupt our well being,

      I had to really, really, understand this one, it’s not always easy to wait, when we think it’s a great opportunity for us, but what I had to realized was that God knows the outcome of everything before it happens,. So this one is were I had to die to self,

      And I tell you whenever I decide to trust God on it, I see a great outcome for me.

      • Patty on December 1, 2019 at 1:27 pm

        Thank you, Liz, that helps a lot. 🙂

    • Halda on December 21, 2019 at 1:12 pm

      Hi Patty,
      Your beautiful voice would be well appreciated, and would also be a wonderful gift to your community if you joined a local choir. It’s a way to give back while also participating in community. You could join a community choir or a church choir, or both! It’s a great way to receive voice training while learning how to harmonize and read music, and it gives glory to God (not you!). Also, it is very low cost or free. You don’t need to go to seminary to respond to God’s call to ministry. Join a bible study group, read and study yourself, and become knowledgeable in the word. I don’t believe you have to choose between two paths – I think that the Lord has already given you your ministry, you just don’t see it. Is there a local LGBTQ activist community you could volunteer with? Is there an LGBTQ church in your region? Maybe it’s time to take your faith there, and get involved with that community, and join their choir. It might mean leaving the Baptist fold, but based on your comments, you’ve already left in mind, heart and spirit. If your ego feels left out, don’t worry – there are opportunities for solo performances in choirs. Once your voice is in good shape, consider volunteering with and auditioning for community theatre – another way to give service to your community and glorify God with your gifts. God is love, Patty – so go and share your gifts and give your love!

      • Halda on December 22, 2019 at 1:09 pm

        Patty please forgive me, I just re-read my comments, and they are somewhat lacking the spirit of compassion, gentleness and brotherly love. I think Liz’s response is very faithful and quotes scripture, and I hope and pray that it exhorts you. Dying to self is hard, and it’s something with which I struggle also, I identify a lot with your dilemna. If I could rephrase, I would add the following quotations:

        * Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV?)
        * “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”
        ― Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC
        “Think globally, act locally” (unknown)
        * Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. Rom. 12:6-8 ESV
        * You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matt. 5:14-16 NIV
        * Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand. Zech.4:10 NLT
        * Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going. Eccles. 9:10
        * What you can do, or dream you can, begin it; boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
        * Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.- Theodore Roosevelt

        Calling is a process of discernment, and I would encourage you that you don’t need to have it all figured out before you begin. Start where you are at… sometimes we arrive at our final destination by roundabout and unexpected ways.
        Good luck to you Patty and may God bless you and provide for you on your journey!

    • Kimberly on March 30, 2020 at 11:52 pm

      Patty, Months have passed since you wrote this, and I pray you’re on the one right path, walking each step in life trusting in Jesus (moreso than in mindfulness, deep breathing, or any other trend). Liz has given some really comforting and true advice, and Halda has tried to build on that. Liz says rest in faith, while Halda says to branch more into community than into trying to exploit your interests in order to make a living. Their comments are different from one another, but I think both are saying to work restfully instead of wearing yourself out trying to do what has seemed right by traditional social standards instead of by faith. I disagree with some of the ideas Halda has offered, but I realize she has the right overall idea, like Liz. … If ever there is work that any soul needs godly strength to complete, it’s seminary. And, remember, the goal in seminary is being able to be the Good Shepherd’s voice, hands, and feet in a very troubled world now. (Even some seasoned pastors, who have the counsel of the Holy Spirit strong in heart, are growing weary now.) Seminary isn’t about finding your own way out of times of personal family crisis, but is about answering a sure call that God has for your life. … Patty, whatever you’re doing now, I pray that your first step was in realizing the call to just restfully trust in Jesus. (Matthew 11:28-30)

  18. Kristina Hudson on November 14, 2019 at 2:17 am

    I run a non-profit for cancer children. We do a lot of amazing things for our families and I know it. I have spent a lot of time over the last 2 years trying to really build a relationship with God. I talk to him all the time now. I have made some huge mistakes in the past. Mistakes I know are against everything God tells us. I know he forgives me. I’m trying to forgive myself. I spend every day trying to leave that stupid woman behind. I’ve been running our non-profit for 13 years. There are 2 women that absolutely hate each other. I cant help them. I have tried. I feel that God saw me more in the way so I’ve tried to step away from them both.However, that is not possible. One of the women have been part of our world of these particular kids since before I started. She can be difficult and I know she loves God but she tends to see the world against her and lashes out. She loves the oncology kids though and handles a bad day not always so well with adults. Basically meaning she barks a lot. I’ve always seen her as a hurt and misunderstood and sometimes difficult person with a big heart. The other woman. Well I have been warned against her by many for years actually. She showed me a sweet, loving side though and I felt she too is perhaps misunderstood. Although there have been times I have felt a bit uncomfortable with her in her dealings with others. These women have hurt each other. I dont even know how. The first has been tied although not in a direct way to our foundation since it started. The second woman has had a desire to be part of our foundation also. Neither really directly but separately in dif ways. Now I’ve tried being neutral and dealing with both women hoping to keep them from each other. The first woman feels the second pushed her out of or was part of pushing her out of a big deal organization ( not ours) that she had been part of with these kids for close to 20 years. We have an event coming up that the first woman has always been part of and the second woman started coming to 2 years ago. But things got so bad between the 2 women that I asked the second to not come to this event. Especially due to the fact that she has completely taken over the other thing that was very important to the first woman. I sat down with her trying to apeal to her as a Christian friend. Trying to help.her understand my dilemma. It worked at first but a few days later she started becoming hurt by my request. Then proceeded to make me start feeling guilty. Then if I showed the first woman any attention she started acting even more hurt. I know how this sounds. Even typing it seems so juvenile. I prayed over this with every move I made with these women. But I still feel I made wrong choices but then when I think on my other choices the outcome would still be ugly and the other would be hurt. My foundation is and can be affected by both women due to their connections. How do I know I did what God asked of me? How do I know if I have made the right choices? I feel as if there is not a right choice. Not in either womans eyes. Well, yes there is actually… if I picked them. But how do I know what God wanted me to do? I prayed… I went with my gut that seemed sick all the time… and basically went with the one that made me less sick. But still comes back to haunt me in dif ways. I cant find peace. I want to give up. Possibly even give up our foundation that helps pay childhood cancer families Bill’s because i feel like a failure in how i handled these women. I’m tired of being sick. But I do have friends who love me dearly but think I should let both women come to this event and should have stood up to the first woman who is being silly about not wanting the second woman there. Let them decide to come or not. If i do that the first woman would be beyond hurt and really angry and make my life miserable wether she herself came or not. Both women are drawing lines in the sand and even cancer families are choosing sides. But if I give it all up I wont be doing the one thing that makes me feel like I’m doing Gods work. How do I know I pleased God or dissapointed him?

    • Christie on December 21, 2019 at 1:52 pm

      Dear Kristina, my heart goes out to you! It sounds like your organization has come under demonic attack. The Jezebel spirit is working through both these women to cause division in your not-for-profit. “Divide and conquer”. If families are starting to take sides, this is a very serious threat to the organization itself. You must take a strong position of leadership here – your alegiance should be to the best interest of your client base, and your organizations mission and values. What I suggest, is that you immediately start looking for and/or grooming replacements for BOTH women. Pray for God to send people to you. If you continue to play their game, my experienced guess is that you will lose leadership of this organization, as you will find that the Board of Directors, under pressure from families, these jezebel-possesed women, staff/volunteers, and funders will be looking for the sacrificial lamb – and that will be YOU, my dear. If you can’t find the way to gracefully move these ladies on, then maybe you are not cut out for a leadership position with your not-for-profit, and should tender your resignation to the board, before they fire your ass. Pray, consult with godly counsellors, and proffer a solution before the Board, before the Board brings the problem before you. You are in a war, Kristina – no joke. You must MAKE the peace. Ask yourself this question: what is best for the long term health of your organization? It’s no fun to be the disciplinarian, but unfortunately, that comes with your position in the organization. It has been your failure to identify and enact disciplinary measures against these women that has resulted in this burgeoning crisis in your organization. This is an opportunity for you to learn and grow in leadership – do what you need to do to educate yourself as you negotiate this very steep learning curve in your career. God is with you! You can do this.

  19. Dominique on November 12, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    I caught my wife having a 1 1/2 year affair with a co worker of hers. She told me she was not in love with me and denied it was another person in the picture. Months later I caught her red handed. She apologized and she has agreed to work it out but I have been the one to push everything. I have been the one seeking our counseling and reminding us to pray. She still doesn’t want to discuss it and says she just wants to move on. She can’t say she’s in love with me and sometimes she is still not open and defends her privacy heavily. I have reasons to believe she may still be cheating. But I also have reasons to be hopeful. What do I do?

    • Carey Nieuwhof on November 12, 2019 at 4:48 pm

      Hey Dominique,

      I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Sadly, I don’t think I can be much help without knowing you and the situation personally. Would you be able to reach out to a pastor/mentor/trusted guide who could give you insight into your situation? I would reccomend seeking out someone who has a very strong marriage.

      I really hope someone is able to help you process through this difficult time.

      Praying for you.

    • Loret on November 13, 2019 at 8:51 am

      I was married to a cheater. This is what I can tell you from first hand experience. If the cheater wants to change and repair the relationship, they will willingly be an open book as to where they are, who they are with and what they are doing. It is up to the cheater to prove they are going to be trustworthy and not up to you to just believe them on their say-so.

      She needs to break off the affair, immediately. Your wife needs to be open and honestly answer all your questions and be very open about talking about this for as long as it takes (over the course of time) for you to heal. She needs to show you empathy and how much she shows you is an indicator if your marriage will survive. She needs to take responsibility and show real regret and remorse. She needs to be patient for you to come to the point of forgiveness and trust. But this is one time you wait until you can fully trust in order to fully forgive and this doesn’t mean to harbor anger but to look forward to the day when you can freely let it all go. You need to talk to her about how this has affected you and she needs to listen. Don’t rage or act out in anger. Don’t talk only about this. Part of the repair process is to bring normal conversation back into the relationship.

      My husband acted like your wife. He wouldn’t let me talk to him about my hurt and instead said I had no reason to feel pained by his actions, he refused to be accountable in all things and he shifted the blame for his affairs onto me. My marriage didn’t survive. In fact, after a long period of being faithful he stepped out again and that was when I filed for divorce. But all that time, some 10 yrs, his affairs festered between us because there was never any trust rebuilt again not any steps taken towards healing. I have friends where the husband had an affair and nearly lost their marriage. I’m happy to say he realized and saw the hurt he was causing, owned it, stopped the affair and did all the things I said above. They are still married. And they both talk openly about it to each other and close friends. He will tell you it took him a long time to gain her trust back and he had to 100% committed to gaining her trust by being accountable to his whereabouts, every moment of every day in order to do this.

      You have done nothing wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong. My female friend didn’t do anything wrong. This one of times where the fault lies completely with the person having the affair. This is why it is completely up to them to make it right and so it is completely up to your wife to make this right, Give her a fair chance but also realize if she continues to be secretive, unable to empathize with the pain she has caused you and continues to not take responsibility, she is probably not going to do the right thing by you. And the guarding of her privacy is a good indicator that she hasn’t stopped seeing the other man. I think your instincts on this are spot on.

      So sorry you are going through this. It is quite painful, unfair and you don’t deserve it. I have prayed for you to know what God wants you to do and that she will do what is right, by you.

    • Loret on November 14, 2019 at 9:16 am

      The battle is not the people but powers and principalities. James 6:12. Satan can use Christians to mess things up, too. And to twist up you and your time trying to keep you from doing God’s work. I would ask you if these women are moving God’s plans forward? OR Are they stumbling blocks to His plans? If the former, everyone needs a sit down with you and told to stop the grumbling, jealousy and fault-finding and to work together from here on or they will be asked to move on. There is nothing wrong with telling people to get along. If they are stumbling blocks to the organization, they all need to be asked to leave. Always treat them according to 1 Cor. 13 but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask them to leave. Jesus rebuked Peter by saying “Get behind me Satan”to his disciple, because he had the concerns of himself and not God.
      Sounds like these women are acting like Peter was…. Then Jesus told all the disciples that to follow Him, they must deny themselves and take up their cross. Sounds just like these women need to understand the mission is God’s and not themselves. Do you agree?

      BUT most of all, pray strategically, for the problem now, for the healing they need, for the future people to take their places, for yourself to have wisdom and understanding on how to deal with this.

      “Father, we always want to see people the way You do, to love them as you command and to treat them the way we want to be treated. We also realize that these problems while coming through these woman, is the enemy messing with your work. So I ask You to give Kristina the wisdom to know and see the tools the enemy is using to create this contention and chaos. Show her what You would have her do and if it is to ask them to leave, that You will give her a peace in her heart that is the right thing to do. I pray for these women to become self aware of what they are doing and see clearly the affects their behavior has on those around them. And by this self awareness, they would feel convicted to stop doing what they are doing, turn to You, get into the Word and learn how you want them to treat others and set aside their selfishness. If You want Kristina to keep them on, then please give her understanding as to how to manage them, wisdom to know when to speak and when to pray. Help Kristina to learn what you are teaching her through this situation. In the mean time, protect the organization and its work from the enemies destruction. Bring in others who are peace makers and are able to love unconditionally. Prepare the people that will come in the future to be able to do the work You will call them to do, who will build on this foundation and take it to the bigger and better things you want for it. Guard and protect this organization from the enemy and please don’t let Satan destroy this. Raise up prayer warriors who will regularly intercede for Kristina, these women and the organization. In Jesus name we ask.”

    • Joanna on January 14, 2020 at 3:30 pm

      I am so sorry to hear you are going through this betrayal. I can only say pray to God that he would intervene and save your marriage and enable you to forgive your wife. God bless you x

  20. SandyJones on November 2, 2019 at 11:49 am

    So my husband and. I were comfortable after years of rough times. He travelled a lot for work so we took a leap of faith and bought a business together so he could be with the family more. Our faith and intent was all in what we believed was a right place. We didn’t have a clear yes but it but we did have a clear he needed to resign his job. We didn’t have any warning or red flags or anything telling us not to. We believed it was Gods’ will and we put everything we owned on the line. We both had the skill set and the business we bought was valued at more than the price. We did our due diligence. Let’s just say we have had successes and are happy with where we going. However we hitting our slow season for the next three months and don’t feel financially strong enough to get through this cycle as we only bought it 7 months ago and ah ent been able to build up enough reserves due to some unexpected capital expenditures we didn’t expect, like equipment breaking and other setbacks, almost like we have been under financial attack. We we are a bit top heavy, we didn’t want to let people go and planned on growing and I have been looking for employment to reduce one income, with no success. We have run it under faith principles, walked away from business of people who mistreated our employees. We tithe on our salary we draw, we trust God and pray for guidance, wisdom every day trying to balance faith with wisdom. My husband and I are not naturally good with money but work at it and try learn from our mistakes, trying not to be reckless although looking back we see some poor decisions we thought were right at the time. When our finances were strong we have away a lot at the expense of savings trusting God for provision, I think in hindsight we gave foolishly thinking it was right. We probably should have saved more, but we are both generous to a fault. We pray and when we make a mistake we try do better, we thank God for our successes but it feels like one thing after another has gone wrong and I’m worried about making it through the quiet season. If sales stay strong we can fix and improve the things but no matter how hard we pray we sometimes feel God has just left us out to dry. Then He shows up and we something and know it was Him, but then the attacks come again, it feels like satan has opened the gates of hell and let his demons out onto us, God seems quiet, then He shows up and then the demons rage again. I know God is with us but it feels lie we drowning and the setbacks are bigger than the steps forward and that we hanging by a thread. I often wonder if we heard right, made a bad decision giving up our financial security and my husband’s good job with medical and bought this business, which day and night challenges us and is coming between many family events. We did this so he could be home more for better balance even though we knew we may earn less, but now we earn less and have less balance, we on the go 4am to 10 or 11pm. Outings get interrupted with a call for a problem. We constantly putting things in place to prevent problems and be proactive, but our business depends on people and people let us down, shortage of good labor. We have a 4.8star rating but for those .2 stars we don’t have, that is where the things go wrong and are soul consuming. We constantly trying to manage that rating as in our business a bad review can really hurt. When we bought this business we had a choice of two, we had made a promise to this one first, we wanted the other one more but didn’t want to start a business with a broken promise. Every day I beat myself up with what if we got it all wrong and lose everything. I spend a lot of time looking back and am afraid of losing everything, we in one fifties and would be hard to start over.

    • Kimberly on March 31, 2020 at 8:32 pm

      Ms. Sandy, Maybe you should try to talk with your pastor, if you haven’t done so already. Let him pray with you at church, but also at your place of business. Have staff meetings every morning, with prayer — sometimes with your pastor there. If what feels like something other than the Lord is continuing to cause difficulties, maybe cut back on staff. Make your business what you want it to be, but make sure you’re not putting making money in place of living for the Lord. And, remember, if it’s your desire to do so, in Jesus, maybe you can sell.

  21. John on October 31, 2019 at 2:07 pm

    Hey. I hope I can get help. I was diagnosed with Hepatitis B disease. The thought of these disease has being torturing. I’m a believer and I’m trusting God and praying about it. The painful part is it’s a sexually transmitted disease and I’ve never had sexual relationship.
    I lost my job along the line and I couldn’t think of what next to do for a living. I feel dejected atimes and most times I ask God, why me?..please, i need help.

    Can it be that God want me get closer or He want to bring somethings out of my situation?

    • Carey Nieuwhof on November 1, 2019 at 6:10 pm

      Hey John,

      This is so hard. I’m so sorry. I would say that God always wants to get closer to you, so yes, in this season I would reccomend leaning into him hard.

      The problem of pain is a profound one. One thing that Mark Batterson says is that God doesn’t waste pain. So although this is painful, God can use your story in powerful ways if you let him. Maybe there are other people in your situation that need to see you pushing through.

      If you could meet with a local pastor and ask him to partner with you though this might be good also.

      Cheering for you!

      Carey

  22. jamar Hairston on October 18, 2019 at 10:09 am

    If some is waging war against you and you truly haven’t did or said the things you were be accused of. Things were accused of you offered your apology. But the people who also do what they accused you of didn’t accepted my apology. Instead they confirm what the other to people had said . They went so far as to say that I was viscous gossiped. I was moved from my position for 30 days. However I never found out who was spreading the rumors. Also when I came back to work site, the same two people filed a grievance and appeal. I forgot to mention that were are federal worker. So here is my question, if these two people told me that they lied to federal investigators for me. Which I was totally unaware of . I also have information to prove that my peers were also gossiping what should I do. Because I know revenge is not mines. Please advise

    • Michael Barnick on October 23, 2019 at 11:04 pm

      I guess the problem i have here is in your dilema with your friends church building….wherher to go forward with it or not……..i heard a lack of GOD’S inference.
      I’m struggling……as we all do currently with an issue.
      My situation……is should really be resolved the old fashioned way….ON MY KNEES asking the creator of the universe to guide me……well let’s face it….The answer I’m seeking is not going to be delivered in my EMAIL….not sent to me by Snail Mail…….It may even take all of the rest of my life to see or hear any result in my question……patience is truly needed here.
      That may be part of GOD’S plan…..to test me…can i wait for any or all of the (answer).
      There may never be a resulution.
      I was reminded of a true man of God of old times…Smith Wigglesworth was a preacher…at about the turn of the century…..he loved God…..he gave all to God and for Our Lord And Savior…..Smith had a young child who was born deaf…..he prayed for her believing as always that Jesus was and is the Great Healer……now Mr. Wigglesworth (through the power of God) allowed God to use him to heal many people….however his young daughter never experienced the healing power that would have made her hear …….now should i allow doubt to cloud my thinking???????******OF COURSE NOT.
      Jesus is was and always is the GREATEST DOCTOR EVER……..I simply need to fall back on my faith….believing in the unseen……my friends call me stupid for believing in something not seen……well i will be stupid……because i love and live for an INVISIBLE …unseen ……being…….The Lord of Lords….JESUS.
      Thank you for reading my thoughts,
      Michael B.

  23. g on October 15, 2019 at 11:59 pm

    I have a question for anyone who can give me godly wisdom or advice. I have OCD (not diagnosed) and I obsessively make promises to God about everything- even the most mundane things. Its really messed my life up and it has been happening since I was in middle school. I have made so many promises that to keep them all I would not have anytime to do anything else. I feel like I have mapped out my life through these promises and I am forced to walk in this path that I made. Ive made promises about where to go to college, what to study, what type of job I will not get. I’ve promised not to buy certain cars, clothes; eat certain foods; go to certain places; play video games; I’ve promised to wash my clothes in a certain pattern; not marry certain types of people- its exhausting.
    But now I realize that the career and major that I have promised to commit to would be a bad idea. I have little interest in it, I’ve promised to not take almost every possible job related to it (so my job options are narrow) and I can’t afford to go to go to college and then get a job that pays very little money. Ive made so many promises I just feel trapped and I feel like I’m tiptoeing everyday to make sure I don’t break one. I want to be free and I’ve told God I don’t want to make anymore promises but I always do because i want to make sure that I don’t accidentally promise NOT to do something that I want to do. I think maybe I could just not keep my promises because they hinder me from walking in Christ’s freedom but then I think that then I will be living in unrepentant sin everyday. I don’t know what to do.

    • Loret on October 16, 2019 at 7:26 am

      You may feel this is over simple but I do know where you are coming from when I say this. Takes 3 weeks to break or make a habit. Do not make another promise again. Recognize when you start to do it, and stop yourself, right there, before you finish. What you are doing is walking in your own power so learn to wait on Him. Psalm 55:22, Isaiah 41:13, Matt 6:25 This is entrapment by the enemy and he’s rolling on the floor, laughing that he’s got your focus on himself and not the Father. James 4:8 Eph 6:12 Then think on all things about God Get into the Word by studying it so your thoughts are about God and your focus is on God. That way when you aren’t studying, you have Godly stuff to think about so you are filling your mind with Him rather than yourself. Joshua 1:8, Psalm 1:2

    • Carey Nieuwhof on October 16, 2019 at 4:59 pm

      Hi,

      You are in a tough position, I can’t give you a complete solution, but I can give you a couple of recommendations.

      1. It might be a good idea to talk through this with a licensed Christian counselor. They have been a massive help in my life many times, and they would be able to help you navigate this struggle better than I.

      2. One danger that I have to be aware of is letting “today Carey” make decisions for “future Carey.” There are many occasions where I have made a decision in the past that I end up regretting because I have grown in wisdom or perspective since I made the decision/promise.
      So all of these promises that “past you” made might be doing “present you” more harm than good.
      What if you worried a little bit less about the promises you have made to God, and began to refocus on the promises God has made to you?

      Does that make sense? Talking about this with a pastor you are close to would be a good idea also!

      I’m cheering for you!

      Carey

      • NancyD on October 23, 2019 at 3:03 pm

        I am struggling with applying for this position at a Christian Retreat Center. I have great respect for this organization and the position would be a step up for me, using all my gifts and talents plus getting me out of my comfort zone. However, I am very afraid to mention this to my husband because I don’t think he’d support me. He just retired a few months ago, we moved and are living in a lovely renovated farmhouse. I am growing increasingly disgruntled with my job at a college; I cannot see God working anywhere here. If I apply for this other position we’d have to move again, however we’d be closer to my family but further away from my husband’s family. We are both older and as you said in your article, probably afraid to take any more risks. However, I have been feeling unsettled and unfulfilled for several years now. Your prayers would be appreciated.

        • Kimberly on March 31, 2020 at 9:09 pm

          It’s been months since you wrote this, but, as of this moment, I’m praying for you. I’m a strong believer in following your heart, if your heart is in Christ. … I’m praying that you and your husband are still strong in Him, that you’ll continue to talk and pray things through, and that you’ll remember how pure, new faith blessed Ruth to say to Naomi, “I will follow you.” . … If pure faith can bless a converted person to say to her mother-in-law, of all people, “I will follow you,” how much stronger a devoted response could a believing husband have toward his wife? … I don’t know what decisions you and yours have made in life, but there’s probably always more peace in going with God.

    • N.P on October 18, 2019 at 10:17 am

      You are not perfect so stop trying to be.
      Stop relying on yourself.

      Sometimes it is as simple as that.

      Philippians 1:6 He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.
      2 Timothy 1:3 God has not given you a spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind
      Philippians 4: 6 Be Anxious for nothing and in everything through prayer supplication and thanksgiving let your request be known to God so that the peace of God which passeth all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus

      RELAX………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. Have Faith in JESUS

      • Kimberly on March 31, 2020 at 9:35 pm

        I think Loret, Carey, and Rae have given “g” the best advice. I think it’s wrong to throw Philippians 1:6 at her, as if to hold her to something she promised, through ignorance, in the past, instead of encouraging her to form a new habit of finding the freedom and purpose in Christ that she knows she needs. From the way things sound, it wasn’t Christ — it wasn’t the Holy Spirit — doing spiritual work in her when she was making promise after promise; and it’s not fear that led her to realize she’s made decisions and promises according to her own understanding instead of according to her godly desires and convictions. It’s after she takes steps to begin living freely in Jesus that He can finish, in her, anything she is truly being faithful about. … Amen?

    • raenor burrow on November 1, 2019 at 1:06 am

      Dear sister in Christ
      I sense your childhood perhaps felt out of control and you relied on God as your go to for all things. I also did this, and when we dont understand Gods love and will and desire for our lives we do make promises over and over.. This is often a coping strategy for ourselves to feel a sense of control in a unstable environment. Often the promises we make go like this ” Lord if you help me “I promise to do or not do something: or pls Lord help my friend,brother, parent ect and I promise…….
      The promise from you to the Lord I sense is always to do good ,to do better, to do what you think is going to beloved accepted and Good enough in Gods eyes . Good enough to make you worthy of Love.
      Sister the great news is there simply is nothing you can do or promise to do or not do that will make God love you any less. He gives his Love unconditionally regardless of weather we can keep our promises to do better to try harder ect. He knitted you together in your mothers womb, he has written all the days of your life already in his book, he knew you before you entered this world .. Today I feel an outpouring from heaven a release of freedom for you, from the spirit of God and deliverance from any spirit that had held u in bondage , all guilt and shame be removed from this child of God right now in the name of Jesus. sister you will be helo hostage any longer because of promises made and not met. remember promises that are not his will for you or promises not meet just because you are human do not equal you to be unworthy unloved or abandoned.
      FEAR leads us to make mistakes and promises . remember 11 Timothy 1;7
      and remember
      Roman’s 8 : 34 ; 39
      Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died………..For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
      Pray for insight into what the lords promise is over your life, I believe if you pray and truly listen He will surprise you. For his will and his desire and his way for you will be far better than yours….
      Sister have no guilt no shame and no condemnation this is not of God .
      Rest in Christ and he will be a light upon your path…
      I would love to hear from you and your journey ahead I feel it is an exciting one.
      rae

    • Lohan on April 19, 2020 at 6:42 pm

      “do nothing, leave nothing undone” : a saying i have recently read and instantly liked. It couples nicely with a saying that shaped my life: “patience is a virtue, to each his own”
      I have yet to receive praise for saying such things, and at times, I feel that burden carried by faith and wonder if living a full life could be what my purpose should be. This decision I am facing again after 10 “bad years”, now i know how little i knew about bad and good. I should not place others in my hands and tell God to make the best of it. Ask God to help, I have made a bad desicion, well that is what His love is all about. He who has no faith has not made bad decisions, his lack of wisdom did.

  24. Jenny on October 6, 2019 at 7:21 am

    I write this with great hesitation because I am not used to writing personal things on such platforms. But when I read what you’ve written I felt rather prompted to give my situation as I have been struggling for… Quite a while.
    I graduated last year with a degree that is so niche, it is very difficult to get a job in this field, especially in my small country. I may have possible luck if I ventured out but with no finance that becomes impossible.
    I struggle getting a stable job that isn’t related to my field and I have recently been focused on making my own game (my field) to make a name out of myself so it would be easier with job applications in the future. Yet I am constantly doubting if I made the right choice and if I should just go settle for some retail job. I am so afraid of next year in ‘what to do’. I don’t know if my game will do well, I don’t know if the tefl course I’ve recently completed will do me any good in getting a job over seas next year, I don’t know if I should settle to continuoislt search for a retail job despite failing for months.
    Before I had settled to work on my game, I had spent six months job hunting within my field of design and had been rejected countless times. I spent 6weeks in telefunding and it brought me great anxiety and stress and made me completely miserable. It was after quitting that job that I started my game making.
    I am rather resolute in finishing my game this year but it doesn’t stop me from going what will happen in 2020? What do I do for income? I’m an adult now I can’t continue being such a poor loser. I can’t continue to live off of my parent’s grace.
    I want to trust God everything will be okay for 2020 but doubt suffocates me. I feel so lost and afraid. I want him to direct me and tell me what to do.
    Sigh.

  25. Kevin van der Merwe on October 2, 2019 at 3:13 pm

    WOW!! My father advised me yesterday to read through this page….i discussed it in our group format this morning during our daily devotions. Also shared the link with my worship team and cell-group. Just read it again….for a few reasons im so stuck on what you said and how you said it Carey. Thankyou so much. So many challenges await my arrival at work, at church with the worship team, at other churches where im of help, at my youth-group, at the rehab center where i counsel. Because of work, church and the rehab, i now basically reside in 3 different locations. I LOVE IT! Because i made a decision, trusted God and just went for it. It has been tough…it’s been amazing too! Thankyou for the confirmation in what im doing and to the HOW im doing it….the near future challenges will see my arrival with full force. There’s a heavenly prize at the end of every race……thankyou thankyou THANKYOU!!!!! With Love….Kevin….South Africa

    • Rachel Bailey on October 13, 2019 at 11:06 am

      ❤️🙏❤️

  26. Becca Z on September 26, 2019 at 5:15 pm

    I’m so glad you wrote this, I’ve thought that sometimes the “wise, conservative route” isn’t necessarily where God is leading. We want to buy a different house, not an earth shattering decision…just trying to decide about schools and bedrooms, etc… the one we found we really like, it’s less fancy than the one we have now, but houses are SO expensive where we live we feel like this is a crazy decision even though it’s not an expensive house compared to others and it’s just somewhat more expensive than the one we already own. I’m good at opening doors that are stuck though, so I really hope that God blesses this or just slams the door in my face.

    • Michelle on October 21, 2019 at 1:34 pm

      We are in the same boat, looking at houses and wondering if we should be okay with what we have, or buy a house that is more expensive but would allow us to be better hosts, could host youth group events, grow as a family. We don’t want to be irresponsible but we want to be available to greater things which our current house doesn’t really allow for (it is already difficult to host our care group here when it is our turn.) Both options seem bad: not move out of fear, move out of selfishness. I wish I had peace and clarity about this decision.

  27. Licsy on September 25, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    Back in May, I made the decision to enroll into a university that is miles away from home (you know what that means, out-of-state=double the tuition) at the time when I made that decision I was going through a rebellious spiritual phase and didn’t consult with God if this was the right decision. I didn’t even put into consideration the financial situation my family was in and is still going through today or how expensive this university is. About a week or two I went to a youth service at my church back at home and the preacher told me that God wanted to know what I wanted from him, there were many things I wanted from him but when the preacher told me this I broke down in tears because I had failed God many times and yet here was this man telling me this and that just made me want closure with God and that was my answer to the question that God had asked me through this preacher. Since that day I been working on my spiritual life, reading my bible and praying, I even been listening to gospel music which I always avoided when I was going through my rebellious phase. Back to the point, now that I am finally going to start my first year of university I figured that is two late to cancel my enrollment and look for a more affordable school, if I cancel now I will have to pay thousands upon thousands of money to federal aid. Anyway I been having a lot of doubt lately, I come from a low-income family and my dad lost his job since June and hasn’t been able to get another job for a long time, since he’s a mechanic he sometimes get offers to fix some cars and that’s how he pays part of our family’s bills but he is now basically deep in debt, my mom stopped working 4 years ago after my 6 year old baby sister had surgery and ever since she hasn’t been able to get a job. I been putting my trust in God that he will provide me with money to pay my tuition bill which is due October 6 and that he will provide my dad with a job. In my church back at home I always heard a sister in Christ giving testimonies on how she has never worked once ever since she came to the states from Puerto Rico and God always keeps her bank and fridge full, I always think about her testimonies and I think “wow God is great and he will help me move mountains if I put all my trust in him” but sometimes the enemy starts putting so many doubts in my head that God isn’t going to help with anything and has been telling me that I am a fool for putting my family in a worse situation that what they’re already in, he has even made me think of doing things for money which I always rebuke because the enemy doesn’t have another chance in my life and never will. Also before anyone asks, YES I’ve applied for every loan and have gotten them denied, no one wants to cosign for me and I truly understand because it is a big responsibility, I’ve also been applying for scholarships since I was in high school and never got anything and until now I am still applying for as many scholarships as I can but despite all these negative things happening I still have my faith and trust in God because I know that he is not going to let me go through this situation alone, he is eventually going to step in and I will be able to rest in ease. (Psalms 23:4) Also may I add that ever since I have been seeking closure with God the enemy has been attacking my family badly, my dad has had two car accident this month so if anyone reads this please keep my dad and family in prayer.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on September 26, 2019 at 9:49 am

      We will certainly be praying.

      Hoping for better days ahead.

      Carey

    • Shauna Ventura on September 30, 2019 at 9:32 pm

      I am going to be praying for you as well. My whole family has been being attacked as well, my sister passed away in 2011 and now her son has just graduated but that’s not all because my daughter graduated last year and is in College now. My daughter is rebellious too and wants nothing to do with God and has so much anger towards me that she moved out because I set rules down, well my uncle helped her get my old Jeep fixed for her and after he got a lot of things fixed and it running good she had an accident. I’m thankful God was with her because the truck hit her driver door and because it was a 1994 Jeep she was really soar and her under garment was ripped in half but it could have been much worse. I have my 22 son who lives with me and he works but does nothing around the house, I have my nephew here trying to get him a job but he only seems interested in drawing and playing video games, My 22 son’s friends are always over which one is pretty much staying here too because his car broke down and he needs rides to work, I have a 17 going to graduate high school this year, I have a 15 year old son, my husband is incarcerated for not checking in with his probation officer for 7 years ( it was before we ever met and he has stayed out of trouble but couldn’t deal with the probation officer) and my mom stays with me too. So yeah, all of this and my boss fired me today and what was worse is I had been talking to him about God and gave him a letter of my Testimony and today he was pretty much putting me down about all the troubles I have had now and in the past, it was and still feels like I have no strength to do anything anymore but I will keep trying to trust him and I hope you do the same. God Bless you and I pray your dad will be okay, he will get a financial Blessing to see the family through as well as your sister be okay, your mom find strength and you get all the financial blessing to make it through school in Jesus name, Amen. I also want to say, watch on YouTube Joni Meyer Extreme couponing on CBN, she has several clips from Extreme couponing but the one from CBN she explains how you can start couponing just start out little and there are several sites who do the work of finding the deals for you like Crazy Coupon Lady and Joni’s site called Free Tastes Good. God Bless you.

      • Elizabeth on October 9, 2019 at 10:02 am

        I disagree with any respondents who a) judge you for lack of faith or b) put any blame on you in any way. There is absolutely NOTHING you need to “repent” of. Come on, people!!! This is not the freakin’ Republic of Gilead!!!

        I’m a nobody with an MDiv, so listen up. You do need to 1) pray fervently for God’s guidance and your son’s protection. 2) Exhaust every legal avenue to help your son. Have you gotten a lawyer or legal aid? Is your son capable of expressing himself about the abuse directly to Teachers, Social Workers, Kids Help Line etc.? His direct testimony might get things rolling. Have you sought the help of a Women & Children’s organization? Ultimately, all knowledge and all authority comes from God, so don’t hesitate to get help where you can, even if it’s secular. Make a list of all the organizations and resources in your area that might help, then tell your story to each one. You are not alone! God can work through anyone. God wants your child safe, and He never slumbers nor sleeps. He WILL repay the abuser. Do your part, trust in Him and just watch the battle happen around you. God will win it for you.

        • Patty on November 28, 2019 at 8:14 am

          Elizabeth, that is excellent advice.

  28. Clair on September 1, 2019 at 8:05 am

    My son’s father is sexually abusing him. I reported my sons father in may 2019 but no evidence was found. Two weeks ago my son’s father badly abused him. Because of fear I didn’t report again despite knowing it was God’s timing. I let fear overtake me and I did nothing. I was like a wave on the sea that day with every demon crowding my mind when trying to decide what to do. The courts and social workers are threatening to take my child because I resisted visitation. My family are on my sons father’s side and say I am imagining things. The court has now granted his father visitation. I called the police last night and told them about two weeks ago. They said there was nothing they could do. Of course the timing is all wrong now. My son’s father would be in jail if I had used this opportunity. I look back at that day, two weeks ago, and I honestly cannot understand why I didn’t go to police. The evidence was there. My son is now at this moment with his father and it’s my fault. I have been soft on evil and allowed my son to be handed over to his abuser for more suffering. I cannot imagine the pain my son is going through because of my betrayal and lack of protecting him. The police have told me it’s going to be very hard to get evidence. How long will I have to wait for Gods timing again? How much damage does my son have to endure because I chose the path of least resistance? How can I ever forgive myself for having no faith?

    • Harmony on September 1, 2019 at 4:33 pm

      Why not pray in faith that God will protect your son against his abuser. God is love and pure and would not want to punish you through a moment of your faulting through your son, that is the enemy taking over your mind. Trust in the Lord, he is good, he is sovereign, HE IS LOVE!!! You may not know what is coming but He will protect your son as you trust him to do so.

    • Diane S on September 6, 2019 at 8:53 am

      Clair, make sure you repent for giving into fear (the enemy), AND forgive your sons father. He will not only forgive you (He already knows your weaknesses… we’re human and He offers grace), but He will start to give you more insight as to what the father is going through so you can pray for him. Pray that God will part the read sea for your son in this situation. “The fervent prayer of a righteous one avails much”. James 5:16

      Trust God as Carey says; God is working. What the enemy intents for harm, God will turn it around for good.

      • Andrea Bradford on September 19, 2019 at 12:43 pm

        You can not let him see your Son. That is what GOD would want you to do. If not, he will kill your son.

    • Lucille Yuen on September 16, 2019 at 2:44 am

      I would recommend you ask the Lord to lead you to an attorney and consult with him or her as to what to do to GET EVIDENCE so you can put the jerk father in prison for child rape. You can also reach out to a Christian child psychologist and have your son talk to him or her. You ask “how much damage does my son have to endure?” NONE, act now. Don’t let the evil continue.

    • Frank on September 23, 2019 at 8:10 am

      Obey, no matter the consequences. The word commands that we suffer in His name. Do what you’ve been ordered to do.
      Let the fire come and burn away what doesn’t belong and when it passes all that will be left is what God has for you.
      What’s the worst that could happen?
      Were not here to serve our own interests if Gods plan is for you to deny visitation.Do it. If Gods plan includes real world consequences….that’s your cross to bear.Bear it.

      Sure it sounds harsh,but sin and fear arent here to offer grace and mercy. Unlike some in this world you know how it ultimately ends so go forward as a staunch and obedient servant,just don’t make the mistake of denying this man the grace and mercy you also received.

  29. James R smith on August 17, 2019 at 9:58 pm

    18 yrs I struggled. I had the same thought all the way through. I’ve been being invested in for 18 yrs and I never lost my faith once. I ain’t doubting you now! Let’s started investing in some people! And change this world!

  30. Tiaunna on August 14, 2019 at 8:40 am

    Hi, my name is Tiaunna Hawkins and 3 years ago my son was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. After the initial overwhelming fear of feeling I was caught off guard…meaning not wholeheartedly committed to the Lord at the time. I began to seek Him. Seek His face presence, Word and wisdom. I have been praying, fasting and seekingHis face unable to receive this diagnosis knowing that it is not His will because He is a healer and He never changes. Hallelujah!! Last night as I prayed in tears reminding Him of His promises I believe He healed my son. I believe I was instructed to get rid of all of the stuff/ take up my bed and walk and to step out in faith. My question is not did Father say this to me because I know His voice. My question is after consulting with my husband I don’t know if I can be obedient. I know that our Father is a God of order and He has made him head of our home and that I am to submit to him but…

    • Jamie on August 25, 2019 at 9:10 pm

      Take up your bed? I’m confused, can you explain?

    • Loret on August 26, 2019 at 7:48 am

      I’m curious to know if your reference about submitting to God means you are standing on Isaiah 53:5; by His stripes we are healed? Because if you are that verse is misused to think it is for physical healing. If you read the few verses before, Jesus took that whipping for us, because of our sin we deserved that, so we may be restored to the Father, through salvation by His overcoming death on the Cross. Illness is not a curse from God because of disobedience or imperfections with our faith. If that were true, we’d all be sick. Illness is simply because this world is broken, fallen and not working the way God intended. God does answer every prayer, prayed in His will, but there will be answers we will not see on this earth. I’m sorry your son is dealing with a chronic illness. I do too and I can tell you I’m thankful for it because it has given many opportunities to witness, comfort and support people in ways that I could not, if I didn’t understand how hard it is to regulate my life around medical needs. So I would urge you not to stop your sons medicine. Rather seek God to show you the purpose of your son’s illness because Rom 8:28 is true: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Who knows, perhaps you or your son, or both of you, will be using this situation for a new treatment advancement, help lift someone else out of despair … the opportunities blessings are limitless with God. So I encourage you to seek Him on the why and direction on how to get through this. And especially how to guide your son through this so that he knows he has a loving Heavenly Father always helping him.

  31. Erin on August 11, 2019 at 9:36 am

    My family has just gone through an intense six year legal battle that has left us financially broke. A former family friend of my husband’s parents sued us. He had gone to my husband’s family asking for help as a partnership to invest in his commercial property (as our family owned the other half of the block). An emotional tie to help a friend turned into a costly investment that sadly lost all of my husband’s inheritance. 13 years ago my husband sadly ended their business partnership as he had no money left to invest. It ended with both parties disappointed, but on fair and what we thought were peaceful terms. Fast forward years later after my husband and I bought our first home – and he sued us for a million dollars. We have four kids and defending us through this legal battle has cost us over $200,000. We have had cars repossessed, people knock on our door for failure to pay the mortgage. We have relied on my parents to buy groceries and keep a roof over our children’s head and food in their bellies. 3 years into the legal mess the former business partner family friend suing us passed away. His attorney continued the case for another three years (working on contingency) with the head of his trust. We won 5 appeals and the first trial with the judge telling the attorney this case was frivolous and of malicious intent. Because of a loophole they were able to appeal that decision and get a retrial and as of June 2019 WON the second trial with my family now broker from years of defending ourselves against this case also no owing a judgement of 1 million we obviously don’t have.
    I have forgiven this attorney and the lady who is the executor of the trust. They have caused tremendous suffering and hardship on my family and most painful my four young children. That said, I believe this has been a test of our faith. We will NOT grow weary in well doing or hardened or bitter by what has happened to us. In fact, we are determined to turn this story of defeat into one of victory. We just appealed the decision and had to borrow more money to pay our attorney for what could be another year of legal expenses we cannot afford. During this though, we took a trip to Costa Rica to get away from everything to gain clarity. While there, we decided we want to sell everything we have a move to Costa Rica with our children to live a life of more purpose and peace. We want to launch a charity offering all expense paid vacations to those in need (suffering from grief and loss of a loved one, terminal illness, financial hardship, etc) an opportunity to vacation at our new property in Costa Rica to experience hope and peace and healing.

    We are scared. This move is a big deal and obviously not an easy task to accomplish during a time in life where we are confused and vulnerable. Yet, we feel our troubles are what gave us the courage to risk it all and chase our dream. Is it foolish, and unwise. Or is this dream and longing truly God encouraging us to pursue his will for our family and our future path?

    • Loret on August 11, 2019 at 7:27 pm

      You’re broke: cars repossessed, mortgage in arrears, borrowing money for an appeal yet buy real estate in Costa Rica? I’ve been through foreclosure and they don’t “knock on the door”. It’s all handled by certified mail. There is no extradition treaty between the US and Costa Rica……I have to ask……Are you for real? And if you are, are you running?

      • Erin on August 11, 2019 at 8:19 pm

        Obviously, in a short synopsis on the comment I cannot detail ALL that occurred over SIX years. I am no longer behind on our mortgage, not have been for a long time. This DID happen during several low points before we asked family for help. And my cars are now paid off, but yes years ago they had been behind on payments and that happened twice. Again, SIX years is a long time and has been a whirlwind of financial hardship and stress on our family. I debated resolving at all as your comment seems to be coming from someone who doesn’t seem to be coming into this conversation with any pure intentions other than to criticize which means I’ve already decided not to pay attention to your opinion of that which you do not know or understand.

        We both work and earn decent income and still have equity in our home. That said, we have four children and have lost hundreds of thousands to defend ourselves against what a judge ruled was done out of frivolous and malicious intent. Obviously, we aren’t running as we have nothing to run from? That also is NOT the point or the question I had asked. But I also realizing asking on here was a mistake. Have your opinion, but it is none of my business or concern. Nor will I allow your criticism or negativity to stop us from our well doing. I am sincerely sorry for you though.

        We also are confident we will win this appeal. But this experience has only left us questioning what matters to us and pursuing a life with more purpose. We visit Costa Rica often because it is a place we genuinely love and have considered moving to for years. It is a quick five hour flight from Southern California where we live and easy to travel between and return to. Not run from, but continue to enjoy. That’s YOUR perspective and clearly you are coming from a very different world than I exist in.
        To make false assumptions and accusations of “running” is proof you clearly have no concept of what you are talking about. Spending a year or a few years abroad with our family is only a beautiful thing and also very personal family choice. I have lived abroad before and would like for my children to have that experience and also to connect with their heritage. Why is that such a trigger and problem for you? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Angry even? I find that quite strange, but that’s your own issues to digest.
        I have only positive things to say about how living abroad has contributed to making me the person I am today and offered tremendous life perspective. I also realize now how foolish it was to open a question so deeply personal onto a forum as this as it allows internet trolls who are negative and condescending to try and perpetuate their own personal issues, fears and negativity onto total strangers – who they know nothing about.
        And the anger that you seem to be reacting with from my question – that is 100% your own problem to figure out. I do wish you well with that though. You don’t sound like a person who is at peace.

        • Loret on August 11, 2019 at 9:31 pm

          I did not say anything critical. Nor was I trying to demean you in any way. Your story raised the questions I asked, that is all. In your reply to my comments, sounds like you have no financial worries and I’m happy for you. Hope everything works out for you with great success and God blesses you.

    • Shantel on August 12, 2019 at 3:59 am

      My husband and I have been in a situation similar to your circumstances before and it lasted for what seemed to be the entirety of our 10 years of marriage. we have 5 children (a blended family) and have had the dreaded knock at the door a couple of times from our mortgage company all while taking care of my parents. All of our life savings have been spent and we have even faced homelessness, seems like we never really recovered financially, but through this, it seems we’ve received our calling to assist married couples with housing among other things. Not sure how we’re going to see the vision speak but we are certainly praying. Your situation has touched my heart and healed some regrets and to some degree encouraged me to continue to pray not only for ourselves but for yours and for persons in situations similar. I pray that God helps us both against the rage and fury of loss, the discouragement via attacks of the enemy through the words of others and that we do not lose the vision God has given to the fear the enemy brings during his attacks.

      I hope I see your ministry on the web soon and I hope we are in the financial place to sow into it.

      • Erin on August 12, 2019 at 11:38 am

        Shantel, I cannot THANK YOU enough for taking the time not only to read, but to comment. My heart was admittedly hurt after the first response I received. They took a dream to create a charity to help others and went immediately to a very deep and dark place and asked if “I was for real” questioning my sanity and insinuating we were “running away to avoid extradition?!” Not sure where that came from or where they were going with it, it assure youI won’t allow their opinion to stop our helping others with our nonprofit. I appreciate your response greatly though as you can not only relate, but came in with a genuine heart. So thank you!
        I hope we both have the courage to take our dreams to use the hurt and hardship we experienced from financial attacks and hardship and turn it into an opportunity to form our charitable work that will help others in a meaningful way – feeling inspired to do so from compassion we have gained THROUGH these years.
        This experience changes you deeply and I think forces you to re-examine your life and seek meaning and purpose from what has happened to us.
        You can become bitter and distrustful and lose faith, OR rise above and listen to what is pushing you from within to create something meaningful from what you hope one day to be able to look back at -as a blessing in disguise. Sometimes God works that way. He has to break down the walls surrounding you first to come into your life like a wrecking ball leaving you exposed and most vulnerable. Then you can begin to rebuild from the ashes – on his foundation and purpose. I will absolutely be praying for your family. I am sorry to hear a similar circumstance happened to you and feel empathy and love for you.
        I think what was the hardest part in this for me to get beyond for the longest time was that others intentionally inflict harm on people for self gain – and out of greed. That they are so disconnected from God they feel justified using the law to harm others. It wasn’t long ago the law once defended segregation and being racist as LEGAL. But just because the law allowed people to JUSTIFY unchristian like behavior obviously never made their actions okay. That’s the part that makes this scenario so tough. So many people go into tremendous financial loss after legal attacks pushed onto them by others (unnecessarily). It took me years years to forgive those who hurt us – but now truly see them as people who sadly have lost connection with God and that makes me view them through eyes of compassion.

        Please DO pursue you falling to help other couples. I believe the calling we feel during our most vulnerable times are no doubt a conversation with God and it is from this experience you are most qualified to do something incredible and life changing for many. You will be in my prayers. And please do keep an eye out for our nonprofit in the coming years. Waves Of Change. Olas de Cambia. We are intent on launching our charity one way or the other. It would be easier if we didn’t have the financial hardship and debt to begin with holding this from, but we likely wouldn’t have had the idea or desire to serve at all – without all the hurt and ability to feel SO much compassion from this life experience and it was necessary. I see it as my favorite bible study shares as what I believe is God’s way.
        He puts extraordinary tasks on the plates of ordinary people to show what an extraordinary God can do through them. Gotta love Priscilla Shirer. I suggest the Bible study discerning the voice of God to give you the comfort to trust your inner calling and have the courage to pursue it. I will be praying for you, Shantel. God bless you! 🙏❤️ And again, thank you for your kind words. It means a lot.

    • Shauna Ventura on September 30, 2019 at 10:18 pm

      In Jesus name, I am praying for your vision to come to pass for you and your family, Amen. We all have a purpose in life and the enemy likes to attack when we try to pursue our vision, ok going through that right now as my husband and I want to do Jail ministry because he had went through a tough life being raised by bad family members that made him make bad choices so now he wants to talk to Juvenile Detention Centers and Jails as well as I was in an abusive relationship for 13 years so I want to eventually have homes for single parents raising their kids after abuse for women and men of abuse and my husband also wants to have a shelter for people to go who are trying to get back on their feet after bad decisions. The enemy wants us not to accomplish our purpose of healing and helping others so we must stay strong, God Bless you and your family.

  32. Diane on August 4, 2019 at 4:21 pm

    I have been working at a church preschool as part take admin asst. for 9 months and Im also am a care giver to my partner. Long story short, the director who has been there now a year does not act as a Christian. She fights with parents, teachers and of cause me. The pastor of the church has come to me several months ago asking how I feel about her. Several co-workers have complained. Pastor believes he can help her heal and I have a good role in it.
    I’ve interviewed recently for a full time position as my parents have improved and I’ve gotten help they needed. I am in need to help my husband as he might have to retire early and we lose insurance.
    I’ve lost sleep because of my job. I’ve gained weight and now I’m having stomach issues. But I also have other things to consider going full time.
    Today as I was getting ready for church with my mind not wondering or thinking suddenly I thought something or heard, “ Trust in me, have faith. Don’t be anxious. You do not need to fix her, you need to move to I may do my work, trust in me.”
    I’ve been more so in prayer and digging deeper in my Bible.
    Is this just me or did I truly hear God?

  33. Dylan on July 16, 2019 at 10:13 am

    Hello,

    I started a new job about 3 months ago. The people are great, Christians, and truly want me to succeed. The problem is that the work I am doing doesn’t get me fired up. I never really expected to be working in this industry and because I didn’t major in this subject I am very very far behind the curve. So on top of not really being passionate about it, I am more of a glorified intern than a full time employee. So needless to say I feel under valued and don’t really make much of an impact.

    Through this struggle I have narrowed down that I have a passion for helping people. I have been thinking and praying for ways that I could use this passion as a career. I don’t care to be rich, but obviously money is still necessary to have so it needs to have some sort of profit.

    I have always enjoyed playing video games so I started looking down that route. There is a new thing called streaming through an app called Twitch where video gamers can watch other video gamers. It can be very profitable if you are charismatic and good at the games you play. However, I am not bad, but not great at these games. I am also not the most charismatic person out there.

    This is my plan. There are not a lot of christian video gamers out there and with the massive following of kids, I feel as if they are being led by poor role models. I want to pray for them and play with them to reach as many kids as possible and get them interested in learning more about or Lord and Savior.

    The problem I am having is it is likely it will be a long time before I start earning money through this endeavor and could honestly never happen. How am I supposed to leave my comfortable job with a comfortable salary that I don’t enjoy doing everyday for a job that I would love, but could potentially never earn a dime.

    I have a family I want to start and a girlfriend/wife I need to provide for. I have tried praying about this, but God’s voice is clouded by my insecurities and constant thinking and I can’t find a way to hear Him. I am struggling very hard in making this decision and I really have no idea what to do.

    I don’t expect anyone to tell me an answer (although that would be great), but if there is any way to guide me in hearing God’s voice or steps I could take to learn how to just go for it. This is a perfect situation of whether or not this is faithful or stupid. Please help

    • Carey Nieuwhof on July 16, 2019 at 1:34 pm

      Hey Dylan,

      I love hearing about your passion for people and to obey God’s calling on your life.

      This is such a great question and I am glad you asked. I had a similar question when I started my blog and podcast. I had a full-time career that I did enjoy, but I felt called to do this too.

      I would reccomend you do something similar to what I did when I first started the blog and podcast. When I started them, they were just passion projects that I did out of my basement on top of my other job. Maybe you should go through a season where you try your online ministry on the side while you keep your job.

      Apply some structure and discipline to your routine, and if you start to get traction in that ministry and get to a point where you can afford to quit your job and live off that ministries income, consider doing it then.

      Just my 2-cents, I hope this helps!

    • Loret on July 16, 2019 at 4:17 pm

      David started on a flock of sheep and learned how to be a leader with them, first. Having raised sheep I know there is a lot to learn about leading sheep. While working as a lowly shepherd, David learned to kill predators, how long to graze, how to move them from place to place for grazing. Shepherds were some of the lowest of low in Davids time and David was at the bottom. But David focused on the job at hand and applied himself. Little did he know what the future was going to bring. Because he became an expert with a slingshot and had learned how to stand his ground when facing charging lions and bears, he was well prepared when he took down a giant no one else would. And because he learned leadership from managing flocks of sheep when he became King he was ready to lead a nation. Perhaps you are right where you are meant to be because there is something for you to learn, for your future.

    • Chris Taylor on August 12, 2019 at 10:16 am

      Hi Dylan, as others have said, this isn’t an either-or decision, especially with video game streaming. Most of these guys (and a few women) started off part-time, doing it while they were earning a salary at a job. Only gradually did they go full-time. If you feel God is leading you to this, DO NOT quit your full-time job. Stream as a side hustle (and ministry!) wait, and pray; when it’s time, you will be able to do this as a full-time, self-supporting ministry. BTW, good for you! I won’t listen to a lot of video game streamers because the LANGUAGE — oh my goodness!

  34. Jenn on July 14, 2019 at 4:25 pm

    really would have loved more scripture references. its hard to say .. trust in God but you need to act or do something sometimes not just wait.

  35. Wake on July 9, 2019 at 5:13 pm

    Hi!
    Thanks for sharing this post.
    It’s precisely the sort of topic that stays on my mind.
    My husband and I started out individually, then jointly, in a life of pure faith. We dedicated our lives in pursuit of living by the scriptures, doing what made sense to us, as far as our faith took us (sort of the young-and-don’t-have-much-to-lose attitude you mentioned). Now we have more responsibility weighing on our shoulders with two kids, two car notes, a mortgage, bills, etc., and I can’t help but consider the future and possibilities that come with those responsibilities.
    My husband is the sole provider of our household, and we’re both okay with that. Financially, we make enough to make ends meet, occasionally have to use the credit card. Average middle class American type stuff, but again, living is tight. We don’t have insurance simply because we can’t afford insurance, and trust me we have researched every option. Thankfully, by the grace of God I believe, we are all healthy with no sort of true need for medical attention minus an occasional sick visit. I ponder our current financial situation and know that it gets us by with what we need for now, but think possibly not enough for future- example, life only gets more expensive as the kids get older with their needs and activities, financially there’s no room for growth of our family (like we could not afford to have another child), and I’d like to have more medical attention then an out of pocket sick visit. Cost for out of pocket expense adds up quickly and can simply be unaffordable. I’m considering going back to school for nursing to assist in financial income and acquiring insurance for our family. Both children will be school age, so there’s no schedule or responsibility conflict, and my husband is not against me working. So, for “real world problems”, it makes sense for me to help our family in that way.
    There has been no change in our desire to live a life pleasing to the Lord. Here’s the hang up (and I feel you accurately portrayed our conundrum in your description of Abraham traveling to an unknown land according to the feeling/voice in his head): For a long time, my husband and I have felt the Lord has been actively speaking into our lives, since day one, and I don’t want to undermine that/can’t stress that enough! It’s been very moving and convincing in various ways and has certainly helped dictate all the decisions we have made. It is very hard for me to put my foot down and make this decision about returning to school because of this. Truly, my husband prefers for me to stay home and for him to be the sole provider. I have felt that I should stay home and just tend to my family, stick to those duties. I have felt that is the Lord’s desire for my life. I have also felt the Lord has spoken to me about the benefits of staying home, staying in a position of being able to just focus on family and grow in a relationship with Him, reaping wisdom for the family, and more. It’s possible I could do something from home, but it would be difficult or at least slow to establish.
    Yes, everything has been good and worked out for us so far, following this hunch or “voice” along the whole way, and I don’t want to discredit or doubt God’s goodness in any way. I understand that we can trust in the Lord to provide in all ways, health, finances, whatever is to come or is needed. However, to what extent are we to rely on Him vs personal responsibility/capability? What is faith and what is foolish/irresponsible? I do understand that there’s no certainty in anything of the world, we can’t truly trust in money as our security, but I also realize that money is a necessary commodity to increase one’s ability and therefore opportunity in life. From experience, I have seen my husband’s job opportunities and income grow over the years, at a slow pace, and there’s no guarantee. We have been fueled off of “faith” for so long, I just question if this is the right direction, what steps we are to take. So am I wrong? Do I just continue to live in this direction of “faith”, trusting in the Lord the whole way to make everything happen as we go, or is it permittable for me to assist our family in securing financial stability and the opportunities that come with it??
    This is my attempt to get counseling from fellow Christians. We do belong to a church, but I know they are very bias in how family life should be conducted/what that should look like, and I just don’t feel comfortable approaching them with this subject.
    Thank you for all your responses in advance!

    • Loret on July 10, 2019 at 6:36 am

      Proverbs 31 Woman worked; she managed a clothing and real estate business , kept the farm (in that time everyone grew produce and livestock for feeding themselves), raised the children. Her husband went out and serve the public. She worked and made money for the family and God holds her in high esteem. Do what you feel you need to take care of your family. God is not going to condemn you while blessing her. If your friends criticize you, well they are not your judge, so tell them to read Proverbs 31. He will bless you and your efforts, too. God Bless

  36. Michelle on July 2, 2019 at 4:21 am

    Wow. Reading this post (found the link to it in a newsletter from She Is Bold) really humbled me. Such a deep question and so many people are struggling with it. I am in need of knowing whether to take out a loan for my residency permit for completing my studies abroad (I already have some debt) or whether I should apply in faith for my residency permit with my current bank statements. The application needs to prove that you can take care of yourself while living abroad. Which sadly does not appear in my current bank statement.

    It makes me nervous to take out the loan because I realise deep down, hidden under the rocks of ‘wisdom’ is fear. Fear that I won’t be able to make repayments. Fear that I’ll always remain in debt. Fear of ‘I should have known better’. Fear of God being angry. And I realised that beneath all these fears is the belief that God is actually angry at me as a default. That I believe He needs to be appeased by obedience and I have to work it out on my own – if I will make the right decision or not. So the approach is totally punitive and vindictive. Which goes against what the Word says about God’s heart. So really most big life events, whether they include making decisions or not, bring me back to this question of God’s heart towards me.
    I struggle to accept and understand unconditional love. It’s as if I don’t trust myself to not take ‘advantage’ of it, but your quote from Augustine summed it up so beautifully. I don’t want to hurt God. And the decisions I make take that into account (that’s why I take them so seriously). But He wants me to know that He loves me just as much as I want Him to know I love Him through wanting to make the ‘right’ choice.
    When it comes down to the core of it: this decision making process is so closely linked to the Love relationship between God and my heart that, it is in trusting that He knows my heart; that I learn to live in His love and trust my own self to be His child. And I suppose then instead of understanding unconditional love through thinking, I begin to understand it through living and being it. And knowing that you’re loved unconditionally dissipates the fear and gives you the faith to step out knowing God’s got you. Thank you for this article. God bless you for sharing it with us.

    • Ellie on July 7, 2019 at 1:10 pm

      Wow. The relationship between you and God and how He effects your decision making has been my exact struggle since I can remember. I’ve never had anyone I’ve talked to understand why my fear runs so deep about any decision. I’m struggling with trusting myself and never making any big moves because I always feel that He is not only already angry at me but will inevitably be displeased with me. I never want to do anything to upset Him or be out of His will, so I do nothing.

  37. Steve on June 24, 2019 at 8:59 pm

    In my devotional last night (Blackaby) God shared he would send someone for me to serve in some way so be attentive. Today I received a note of need from a long time but distant friend of mine who is in the ministry and struggling financially. They are looking for a small loan which I can afford but does “hurt” somewhat to make if not paid back.
    I am praying for guidance and in the meantime offering advice to my friend on how they may approach their creditor to offer a solution but have not yet offered the funds. I feel God is asking me to help my friend and testing my faith in Him and His desire for me to serve others above myself. Faith or stupidity?
    It is difficult even give what appears to be such a clear message in my devotional to know if God is involved in this or it’s simply circumstance. I do not want to miss being an instrument of God’s activity. What an awesome feeling to believe God has made a request for me to help because I can. But still the question: God is this you??

    • K. Johnson on June 25, 2019 at 4:57 pm

      Someone I met a long time ago was in the habit of saying “I have a feeling … .” … So I have a feeling, based on how you’ve expressed your faith, that yours may be a calling from Heaven. Pray, and keep praying. Pray about the amount and your own needs; then do what you know will leave you feeling peace and even joy. … Heaven loves a cheerful giver, and that’s one way we know we’re answering a call. There’s no regret, no matter the outcome. In fact, Jesus said to “love ye your enemies, and do good and lend, hoping for nothing in return,” hoping for nothing except fullness of heart in the Spirit — pressed down and shaken together for our good. … Guard your heart, because the work of your heart effects everything you do in life, a proverb says. But give when the Spirit so leads. As a childhood song says, “I’m going to pray when the Spirit says pray, and obey the Spirit of the Lord!”

  38. Anonymous 123 on June 20, 2019 at 9:18 am

    I would like to go on this missions trip but I may or may not have an exam to write during that same time period. Should I still go even if I’m not sure my exam is scheduled then and believe in God that it would be at another date or is it Him telling me I shouldn’t go?

    • K. Johnson on June 20, 2019 at 2:47 pm

      Have you prayed about it? Have you asked Heaven whether you’re being wise? What is Jesus whispering to your heart? Is He saying you have not an answer, because you ask not? … Why not talk with your professor, tell him or her about the mission trip, and ask whether there will be an exam at that time, and, if so, whether he or she can offer you the exam in advance? With prayer.

  39. Don't Believe on June 12, 2019 at 2:09 pm

    Who the hell is God?

    • Gayle on June 14, 2019 at 7:18 am

      We are very confused. After being out of work for 4 years due to recession, finally received a great job. Worked hard, made great strides in the corporation and turned near disaster meetings into solid projects. Was in huge debt, tithed then let off tryinh to to get many things paid off. Just as about to turn corner and return to tithe year to date of hire was let go. 4 weeks later rehired as contractor for same company. Had to pay back swell of payments owed. Tithed, but not 10% because of the commitments and had more out of pocket work expenses. Year to date again discrepancy over timesheet, not on any projects. And no pay today on pay day.

      We have been faithful, attend church every Sunday, husband serves in the procession and for funerals. The whole family goes to bible study on Sunday and Wednesday. We tend to the sick in our parish and amongst our friends. Our kids are involved with this too. We pray gratitude together as a family for our trials and triumphs and for guidance.

      Still here in debt in faith waiting for real deliverance and abundance and peace. Its been a real struggle that has affected health, but we keeping looking to Our Lord to find solid ground to do his will.

      • Beth on July 3, 2019 at 8:10 am

        Dear Sister, I prayed that God will reveal Himself to you, as the God who sees and the One who listens and the One who acts. Praying that your situation will improve.

    • D w on June 29, 2019 at 12:38 pm

      Great question. If you want tonknow the answer, then you must seek him out earnestly. Otherwise, He isnthe Creator and Jesus the Christ is the person of God. Jesus is the best answer to your question, because Jesus is God in the flesh.

  40. Lee Toliver on June 11, 2019 at 11:28 pm

    For us believers, we can all put our trust in God and make the right decisions. That doesn’t mean that the right decision will always be made, but as long as you pray on it, put God first, and execute, you’re still moving. God does not condemn those that move. He condemns those that become stagnant and waits for….What, that is the question.

    This article is wonderful. It teaches us to make a freaking decision, if you’re a believer, put God in front of that decision, and Go for it. If you’re waiting to see what God has to say, you’re not in the right frame of mind. Your works are the key. Give her something to bless you for.

    • Kate Ward on July 1, 2019 at 8:31 am

      Thank you. That was really helpful. I was having trouble sleeping, I was awake from 2:30 to 5 the other night and I got such a clear directives on what to do with my business. But it totally freaked me out. When I launched my company a year ago, I took some risks that I had to really work hard to fix. So any risk taking now scares me.

  41. Anonymous on June 8, 2019 at 7:18 am

    God is a real filthy scumbag for Not giving me a wife and family that i really wanted. Feminism is too blame as well.

    • JJ on June 12, 2019 at 10:53 am

      He didn’t give me that either – but God has made himself my “wife” when I gave up my demand over my desires. I suggest you deeply look at your resentment and demand for a wife; yes a wife is a good thing, but at the cost of God it is worthless. He will fulfill your every need and give you deeper joy if you let him – and then maybe he will give you that wife you always wanted.

      • Anonymous on June 12, 2019 at 2:18 pm

        Having a wife is like having a gift of life since many of us single good men would rather be married with a family, instead of being single and growing very old all alone which is very unhealthy and depressing as it is. Life sucks as it is, and being alone is worse altogether. It is very funny how God blessed so many other men to be married with a family. Why not too? Didn’t God say that man shouldn’t be alone? And being single has so many disadvantages as well. Just too much to list. That is why the other married men out there have so very much to be very thankful for.

  42. LV on June 2, 2019 at 4:19 pm

    I’ve been bitter towards God for a long time now over this very topic: The lack of clear direction from Him on what He wants from me. Haven’t we all experienced the ‘laying out of the fleece’ during difficult times, crying out for guidance on big issues (marriage, divorce, job changes, etc) only to be disappointed by His silence? After struggling to find direction in two specific areas of my life for many years, only to be going around in this neverending circle of ‘What does He want from me?’….. I finally realized something. All the times I’ve layed out the fleece with prayers and petition, it’s always self-serving. It has never been about ‘What does God want me to do for HIM?’ Nope. I have been disappointed and bitter about His silence for half of a lifetime now, because I want Him to serve ME (and my goals, and my wants, and my loves, and my careers). Hmmm…. I don’t like the idea of serving someone other than myself. And to be fair, the example you used of the Pastor looking to change buildings for his congregation, well, even he didn’t get a clear answer from God either, so… maybe I’m onto something, maybe I’m not.

    • Tony M on June 3, 2019 at 1:53 am

      The just shall live by faith. So often we look for signs instead of simply having faith and taking the next step. This is a place that I have come to over and over. The right thing to do is to take that step, trusting that God will respond to our faith. If it is something that God’s Word has clearly stated as a moral wrong, then God will not give His blessing. Howbeit, if it is a desire that is not wrong, than where did that desire come from? Is every desire bad? Can God use our desires to string us along a course of rejections and seeming failures to get us to the destination, that He has in mind. It is His will, clearly, according to Scripture, that we believe on Him. Not just in Him as Who He says He is, but what He says (His Word). In John 15, Jesus repeats that we should ask for what we want, so long as we abide in Him, and He abides in us. The purpose is that our joy
      would be full. He promises that the process of abiding in Him will result in recieving what we desire. As a born-again believer, baptized in Jesus Name, according to Acts 2:38, I have prayed for what I want and have often been disappointed. I think that this has developed me as a believer. I have a faith that has been battle tested and I still believe that greater and better things are ahead. Whatever the road of life brings, I know that it will be an answer to my prayers. The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths. I do not believe that a true sold-out child of God wanders aimlessly. If we will truly seek His direction and prayer, we can be confident that He will lead us. Our attitude is so important to God. The Father seeks worshippers to worship Him in spirit and in Truth (honesty). The sacrifices of God are a broken heart, a broken and a contrite heart He will not refuse. The broken heart and broken spirit is best illustrated by Jesus in the garden of gethsemene, as He prayed, “nevertheless, not my will, but Thine…”. Dissolution, brokeness, failure, etc. are things that God’s people are called to suffer. Through it all God can His people back to life. Jesus said, “he that believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live, and he that lives and believes in me shall never die”. This is what real discipleship is and costs. “He that will come after me, let him take up his cross daily and follow me, he that will find his life shall lose it and he that will lose his life for my sake, shall find it”. When we die to ourselves than are we truly free of the world’s influence on our direction and can live to the limitless reality that exists in God. Jesus said, “he that endures to the end shall be saved”. The hardest part is waiting and the temptation to settle is, sadly, so often
      chosen. Have real faith in God and do not settle for anything less than God’s best.

    • Andrew on June 21, 2019 at 9:49 pm

      I am learning hard about this lesson of getting directions from Him . I find it difficult to trust Him after failures of listening from Him .

  43. Emma on May 29, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    Well…here goes it. I’ve always wanted to pursue a teaching career and have recently graduated with my degree. During my studies, I’ve been blessed with a job that accommodated with my school schedule and allowed flexibility with shifts. I teach Sunday School at my parent’s church and have been more active with the youth as well as creating lessons and their curriculum for the upcoming summer. I enjoy working with them and find myself creating new lesson plans and ideas on my days off. I’ve been told by others that it’s a calling but I’m unclear. Recently, I’ve been indecisive with my next moves and would like to continue on and obtain my Masters in School Psychology or Mental Health and I’m waiting on God to guide my path. I’ve asked in prayer and in simple conversations with God and sometimes it feels as if I’m answering myself. I want to be able to know that the decision and path the I make is aligned with God’s and not steered in the opposite direction. I’m getting older and I feel as if I’m running out of time before I no longer have the energy to go back to school and get back into the mode of studying. I hope I’m making sense..please help if possible.

    • Jesse on June 6, 2019 at 8:31 am

      Hi Emma,

      Keep trusting God and seeking Him in prayer. If you pray, be willing to wait, God doesn’t always answer immediately. Seek the counsel of wise and godly people in your life, but listen to them against the backdrop of Scripture. The advice in this article looked sound, so you could apply it too.

      Beyond that, seek God’s will each day in the little stuff. We are most aligned with God’s will when we are most obedient to Him. Sometimes we pray about the big decisions, but we forget to pray for our neighbor, or for God’s Name to be proclaimed, or to pray with thanksgiving. This should help with the stress and worry as well. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

      Just my own practical advice, you can always serve in the church, even if it’s not your full-time occupation. You can continue to help in your free time with the curriculum, even if it doesn’t become your career. I will also say its okay to consider other factors of the job such as income, even if the factors aren’t necessarily “spiritual.” This just my practical advice though, so seriously, take it with a grain of salt. I will be praying for you! May the God of peace and wisdom be with you!

      Jesse

  44. May Bruell on May 27, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    As a young person I find myself getting lost very often and this really helped me find the path once again. Thank you so much for this article, I feel so lucky to have wonderful resources available to help me grow. I even took notes so that I can remind myself of these things everywhere I go! This brought light back into my day : )

  45. David Haskins on May 26, 2019 at 4:25 am

    I’m debating whether to give my testimony at church. I was a horrible person that has suffered the loss of most of my loved ones through death and ostracization. The reason for this separation with those loved ones left alive is because I had to leave my home state to find work. While gone I got addicted to hard drugs and wasted about 5 years. I am the prodigal son.
    After being born again I got baptized. But illness and other issues kept me from going to church. Either God didn’t want me there or Satan didn’t want me there because these things were outside of my ability to cope. I found another church and got through some initial struggles like those that kept me from the first church and have found some consistency in my attendance to both church and bible study.
    I am tempted to bare my testimony. After years of acting like a reprobate I had a revelation, God healed my right arm and forgave my sins, I felt His touch and heard His voice. I feel I am not ready to give this testimony because there is a risk people will hate me for it. But I am burning up for not sharing the grace that God has shown me. I swear I would go to the stake for the Lord but am afraid to risk my reputation and acceptance within the flock which I desired for so long.
    I’ve been praying about it a couple days and just had a nightmare a couple hours ago about a huge beast and its offspring chasing me and another through all these obstacles. At the end of the dream I had a chance to save my fellow but could not help him out of a culvert before the beasts overtook him. I was running away when I awoke. I don’t remember the last time I had a nightmare like that.
    I always thought I would become successful before I gave this testimony. But I am still barely getting by, hardly an example. My greatest gift is the fact that I have read through the bible a couple times. I have cleaned up my life of drugs and fornication but still smoke cigarettes. I might have to wait a little longer to give this testimony. I just want to edify my brethren in the Lord. I am willing to throw everything away for God but is my shame His glory?

    • S on May 29, 2019 at 3:55 pm

      Brother, fear is a liar…Give your testimony!
      Just the fact that you’re having nightmares and such fear of rejection, just speaks to me more….of how convinced I am, the Lord will be right there with you!
      If the people you give your testimony to aren’t happy for you and embrace you with love…Peace out! God’s got something even better for you!
      Start conquering those fears one by one brother…it’s part of the process to make you wiser and stronger!
      You’ll be amazed how brave you turned out to be after all!

      Stay with Jesus,
      S in Louisiana 🙏🏻🙌🌈

    • James Klein on May 30, 2019 at 12:56 pm

      David Haskins, I saw your story and my heart goes out to you. You have been born into God’s family and you are a member of Christ’s body, so you have a gift to offer your brothers and sisters in Christ, just as each one of them have a grace from God to give you. We are given power from the Spirit to strengthen each other with love and truth.

      Overcoming rejection feelings can be hard and scary. My advice is to share your testimony with a few friends, peers, at the church, first. Maybe you could share at a men’s bible study you go to, or a home group, after that. Make your story about God. The Bible is all about God’s goodness overcoming people’s weakness and depravity. If your story sounds like the Bible, full of imperfect people slowly learning how to folllow a perfect God, you’re on the right track. Our stories will never be perfect on this side of the resurrection, but they can still show God’s goodness, glory, and work. When you feel more comfortable sharing your own imperfect story of faith, then share it with the whole church if your leadership is willing. “It is God who works in you to will and to do according to His own pleasure.” (Philippians 2:13).

      You are made to be a blessing through God’s work in and through you.

  46. Michelle on May 5, 2019 at 2:55 pm

    This is an excellent article. God has revealed to me new desires if my heart and dreams, and old ones have been revived. I currently work in a library related field and am cross trained. I like the position I am in, but I know long term this is not my end game goal. Many have said I should go to school and become a librarian. I have never seen college as a part of my life and don’t now. Why take the time, money and effort when I strongly feel this is not the ultimate or most important path I’m to be on.

    Has anyone else dealt with this? I do feel and wonder if because I’m on the right path, Satan is trying to sway me off of it.

    Thank you.

    • star on May 5, 2019 at 5:11 pm

      ya that what I think I’m a new one on seeing Jesus and I talk to him every day and people call me crazy and they say I think I talk to Jesus and I’m just talking to my self and when I can and did and do see GOD it got my thinking so off I start to ask Jesus so much stuff to see if he not a game and yes he is here and he picked me up and I look down my nee bent I …still think Jesus is so super crazy for wanting me I stink like what this people put on me and GOD told me to do it and I did and know people all over still talking about it and it’s like haha to me because I was telling people that I have people coming in my room when I’m getting high and sleeping look at my room that’s what people did all over a toy and they kill all my Dogs and took stuff that I got for kids that don’t have a home that’s sad and just for the Oklahoma City and what ever town and City is see me I don’t shower and I don’t get food for the casa for my and Begotis home because people be fucking it up and staying under the house and I tell Jesus he tell me keep faith and pray I do I do and he is not doing nada to help and I don’t know what to do so I turn back to drugs and people still be talking shit and doing the same shit it’s before david and nate and Baca that’s soo soo long life before I got re born and GOD JESUS still don’t do nothing nada nada nada and I still stink don’t shower don’t get food for this home and I still do drugs like every day and I going to download my classes for my cdl my GED for the Mr Hall and MS hamme so I don’t go to prison and people won’t stay off my cell phoné so I can do that and Jesus is still doing nada and people be saying it’s because I lost my faith ya right if I did I be in prison for killing some people so I don’t pay no notice to them and GOD JESUS still not doing nada help….!!!

    • Diana on May 6, 2019 at 1:55 am

      Hi Michelle,

      Actually i am in the same position as you are.
      In my experience, He wants me to take ONE step of faith and trust Him that He will provide the next step. Because my problem is that I always want to make sure I am in the right path and being able to see where the end game is.
      I also never saw going back to school for THEOLOGY (weew!) as my life plan at all. But there were time that the urge was so strong….sometimes it dims. But like i said, i have to take the step of faith after asking Him in prayers.
      As for me, i take the path of going back to school. Not knowing what He wants to do with me exactly. The waiting time is excrutiating, i know.
      But i dont think i want it any other way.
      God bless!

      Diana

  47. No Wonder Why Many Men Are Single Today on April 21, 2019 at 9:09 am

    God sucks altogether, let alone trust him. And he never gave me a wife and family that i really wanted. D idn’t God say that man should never be alone? So much for that. Just maybe, had he made women just like the good old days when most women at that time were Real Ladies and very old fashioned which it would have been no trouble at all. Today most women are a real total disaster. No wonder why our family members were very lucky in those days when they met one another. God, what in the world happened to the women of today?

    • Esther on April 22, 2019 at 8:48 am

      If the first thing you say is that your creator sucks then what do you think about women? Look into yourself, at what you’re doing wrong and maybe try repenting and going back to ask god and see what happens then.

      • No Wonder Why Many Men Are Single Today on May 19, 2019 at 11:32 am

        To Esther, Well when women Curse at many of us men for no reason at all which doesn’t make any sense to begin with. Very dangerous for many of us single good men now just to say good morning or hello to a woman that we would really like to meet Had it happened to me already unfortunately, and a few other friends that i know as well. And we never did anything wrong to get Cursed at either. It is very sad that most women are like this today, and they really have a lot of mental problems as i can see which they really need help very badly. Feminists i guess.

    • tanesha on April 23, 2019 at 9:45 am

      I will not judge you. Firstly. God is awesome, kind, sweet among’st other things. in his word it says; seek ye first the kingdom and all other things will be added unto you. God does not give bad gifts. God gives good gifts. remember in his word where he says; if your earthly father can give you good gifts, what more him your heavenly father. We blame the creator for creating the item then we take it without reading the instruction or even asking him if this is for me. Christ left a manuscript for us to read and you would be shocked to see the amount of instruction in it as to how to treat and choose a wife. (For Example: The bible speaks about a Virtuous woman). If the holy spirit leads and we take a wife/husband, or we ask God first before we choose, it shows that you trust and value his decision in that area of your life as well.
      Next time: wait on God, don’t just go searching and trust that he will give you the right person. He Loves you and wants the best for you. Also get to know him more by praying, reading his word and seeking him then your opinion of him will be different.

    • Deb on April 26, 2019 at 10:22 am

      Maybe some resentment inside or unforgiveness? You’re obviously hurt and upset, but heal and move beyond that which you bury deep inside and you will learn God will give good gifts with the right attitude. I know because I lived this too.

    • Ruth Williams on May 6, 2019 at 5:02 pm

      Please don’t loose faith trust the path that you are on it may not be what you want but God has a plan for you. It was never meant to be easy, just think of Jesus and the life he lived and his triumphant exit. The condition and mindset some women and me have today has nothing to do with God, remember he gave us all free will and sadly the world today is full of so many obstacles designed by the devil to trip us up and loose our Faith in God. Believe in him no matter the outcome and may God continue to bless you

    • Kelli on May 25, 2019 at 11:52 pm

      Well, for starters… your entire life WILL suck, if you can sit here and say God sucks. Why on earth would the most powerful man in this universe that suffered and died for YOU, give you anything good if you have lost all faith in Him? If you expect Him not to test you, not to see how much you can take and still have faith in Him, you’re sadly mistaken. He wants only the faithful, that believe in His greatness and love to enter His gates. Not people who lose their love and faith in Him the second something goes wrong. Continue with that attitude, and the rest of your life will be sadness and loneliness. Believe that He will give you what you NEED (not what you want) in HIS TIME, not yours, and you will see the beautiful things that can happen. Is it going to be easy… never! You HAVE to fight for what you want, but fight with God but your side.

      As far as women and the older days… I’ll be honest, I own an animal rescue organization, I am hard working and I expect respect from my husband, just as I respect him. I do take care of our children, cook, clean, a good and faithful wife, but at the same time I do want to be successful with my rescue. So, that being said, it is possible to have a good woman, and her be successful at something. But there are women out there that do just want to be a wife and mother. You just haven’t found her yet. The more inpatient you are with God, the longer it will take. There are steps you must take to lead you where He wants you to go, just have to try and listen. Good luck! I hope your life changes for the better, and you find happiness.

      • Kelli on May 25, 2019 at 11:53 pm

        Is NOT going to be easy. Sorry..
        Typo!

  48. Susan on April 11, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    I followed a path that was given to me and embraced it wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, I failed the training for the job I left everything to do. (4 years of doctorate level school.) I have to believe that I have done what God wanted me to do and it is time to move on, but it has been hard for me. Since I left school, I have been looking for a new job. At first, I tried to transfer from my in-school, very part-time job to another location in a different state. While I was waiting to hear about that one, I found another that would allow me to use what I learned in school and move my career in a totally different direction. So today, I had an open house for the new job and I am even more interested in getting that job. It is very close to what I wanted to specialize in with my doctorate degree, just approaching from a different angle and includes paid training. I honestly feel as though the Lord is leading me here. The trouble is, even if I go through the interview process, which at this point is not guaranteed, it could take another month or two before I would start. Also today, I finally heard back from the “in-house” transfer job after almost a month. That one is a done deal if I want it. The hours would be acceptable and the manager is trying to get me a little more money. I need a job as soon as possible, as my paychecks from before my move were negligible but I really want to wait for the new job. But is that the smart thing to do? I am not one to accept a job and then leave after just two months, if I were to get the new one. I have been praying but I feel as though I cannot hear any answers right now.

    • Esther on April 22, 2019 at 8:56 am

      Wait on the lord and be of good courage. He will strengthen you. What you must get will come to you if you wait. God is your provider, not your job. Depend on him. If he takes care of the birds and the bees what more will he do for you? Matthew 5 verse 25 -34. God bless you.

      • Lisa on April 22, 2019 at 5:13 pm

        Sometimes God wants us to totally trust that he is the all mighty God, and he will take care of us, and provide everything we need, if you totally trust in him. Give all you issues, confusion, and worried to him, and dont think on them again. He will work it all out for you. And also, sometimes we have to be still n listen!

  49. Doree Pantaleon on March 31, 2019 at 2:27 pm

    Thank you, words of awakening!

    I am a Catholic, I had past experienced that I disobeyed one of God’s Commandments. It made me broken, and for years I lost my faith in God.

    A year ago, I started my first step to attend a two-day Retreat by joining one of their ministries in the parish. My courage took me to move forward after the initial steps by joining the formation period. The formation started by sharing how you feel about the Retreat and what made you decide to continue your journey with God.

    I came from another country, with strong accent but I am more confident when I write to express what I want to deliver about my feelings. When my turn to share my reasons, I took my notes and started reading it, and being so emotional, it also bring me tears. I was in the middle of sharing my notes when I was stopped, and the comment made was “who is next, let us wrap up the night”, someone said why not let her finish it, as we want to hear it but the comment was concluded “we don’t want you to write what you want to share”. The first thing, I had in mind was to give up and stop the move I am about to take. I felt I do not belong to the group as I am not a talker and no room to share how I witness God in my daily life.
    On my way home, the Holy Spirit came upon me. Talking to myself, I heard an answer “you are not doing this for her, you love God and He loves you. Continue your journey to take the right direction to see Him”
    At this point, this journey is about to end. We are about to finish the end of a year formation and during this one year, the steps I had started is leading me to get more closer to God…..my faith getting stronger and I know I am trusting God and the decision I made is not stupid!

    The message above and changes I made is another inspiration I am taking in my heart “God I am doing this because I trust you! I trust you will show me the right path to take and trusting you will show me with the outcome!”

    More Power and God Bless!

    Illinois USA

  50. Irish hopeful on March 29, 2019 at 4:12 am

    My husband and I ended 2017 off in prayer where we felt strongly led that we should immigrate and leave South
    Africa, overwhelmed with a strong sense that it was in the best interest of our child’s future and safety. We put the decision forward in prayer to God trusting wholeheartedly that He had placed the desire and promise on our hearts to go to Ireland. With only our South African passports and no impressive degrees we knew it was a tall order and could only happen by the grace of our good Lord. In record time things started to happen. A company made contact with my husband and he was flown over for an interview. All expenses paid and he had the job. He now just needed a work permit. The company spared no expense and hired solicitors too handle everything fully confident he would be approved with no hassle. The company didn’t match the salary criteria specified for the permit applied for and the solicitors never advised them against the decision, where they should have discouraged them and told them it would be refused if the salary was not on par. We did our best to advise them but in hindsight we should have just insisted on handling the permit application ourselves. We thought the “experts” would know better than us. Turns out they didn’t and after an extremely lengthy process we were refused. The company has now put the position on hold until further notice. We now wait on God to show us the next step. In preparation for this big move we have sold off all our bulky furniture and were vocal in singing God’s praises for providing. Every other challenging step of this entire process has gone smoothly where other people struggle. From arranging documentation to opening a foreign bank account we felt God’s favour at every step. We praised Him openly and gave all the glory to Him. We were vocal sharing our good news when my instinct is normally to keep things like this private until receiving confirmation. We were so in awe of His favor we couldn’t help ourselves the excitement was too much. Then out of nowhere the refusal. Nearly a full year of waiting from the initial submission of my husband’s cv and the permit was refused. We are gutted. To say we feel foolish is an understatement. The worst part is that during the process my husband actually lost his job. But in faith we persevered trusting that this job in Ireland was the job he was meant to have. A further month of waiting since the refusal for the company to advise the next step and they’ve put the position on hold. Now my husband is scrambling to get a job. We are still trusting in God to lead us but it’s difficult not to feel like we should have been wiser.

    • Esther on April 22, 2019 at 9:04 am

      Increase your faith. Never doubt his providence. Doubt blocks your blessings. Matthew 5 vs 25-34
      The enemy will try to make you feel that god is not working but rebuke him in the name of Jesus and claim gods promises on you and your family’s lives. God bless you.

  51. Irish hopeful on March 29, 2019 at 3:43 am

    My husband and I ended 2017 off in prayer where we felt strongly led that we should immigrate and leave South
    Africa, overwhelmed with a strong sense that it was in the best interest of our child’s future and safety. We put the decision forward in prayer to God trusting wholeheartedly that He had placed the desire and promise on our hearts to go to Ireland. With only our South African passports and no impressive degrees we knew it was a tall order and could only happen by the grace of our good Lord. In record time things started to happen. A company made contact with my husband and he was flown over for an interview. All expenses paid and he had the job. He now just needed a work permit. The company spared no expense and hired solicitors too handle everything fully confident he would be approved with no hassle. The company didn’t match the salary criteria specified for the permit applied for and the solicitors never advised them against the decision, where they should have discouraged them and told them it would be refused if the salary was not on par. We did our best to advise them but in hindsight we should have just insisted on handling the permit application ourselves. We thought the “experts” would know better than us. Turns out they didn’t and after an extremely lengthy process we were refused. The company has now put the position on hold until further notice. We now wait on God to show us the next step. In preparation for this big move we have sold off all our bulky furniture and were vocal in singing God’s praises for providing. Every other challenging step of this entire process has gone smoothly where other people struggle. From arranging documentation to opening a foreign bank account we felt God’s favour at every step. We praised Him openly and gave all the glory to Him. We were so vocal in sharing our good news when my instinct is normally to keep things like this private until receiving confirmation. We were so in awe of His favor we couldn’t help ourselves, the excitement was too much. Then out of nowhere the refusal. Nearly a full year of waiting from the initial submission of my husband’s cv and the permit was refused. We are gutted. To say we feel foolish is an understatement. The worst part is that during the process much husband actually lost his job. But in faith we persevered trusting that this job in Ireland was the job he was meant to have. Then a month of further waiting since the refusal for the company to decide its next step, only for them to place the position on hold. Now my husband is scrambling to get a job. We are still trusting in God to lead us but it’s difficult not to feel like we should have been wiser.

  52. my singing monsters on March 27, 2019 at 2:41 pm

    Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Thank you Nevertheless I’m experiencing problem with ur rss . Do not know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there everyone obtaining identical rss issue? Everyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx

  53. Shaunte on February 20, 2019 at 6:11 am

    I am a teacher who has been wanting to work as an assistant principal. I am qualified and have been turned down for some chances. My former principal called me a couple of weeks ago because he wanted me to apply for the position at his new school. I didn’t go looking for this chance- it came to me. He called me last night to say of all the interviewees, I got the job. The catch? The job ends in June and I’d have to reapply. There are no guarantees. Furthermore, if I leave the county where I am, I may not be rehired if I lose this. My husband and I just bought a house this past November, and I wouldn’t want my nine-year-old son to change schools. My husband can get him to and from school, so the choice is really mine to make. A dear friend of mine told me that I may be about to talk myself out of a blessing and that the eyes of the world say don’t step because the way is not perfectly laid out and clear, but that’s not what the Word says. We walk by faith not by sight. I’ve been praying about this for two years now, so I’m praying that I make the godly choice.

    • Esther on April 22, 2019 at 9:08 am

      Maybe god wants to get your foot in the door. Pray and ask him and he will respond. Learn to trust him more. When you pray release it to him. If you have it he can’t do anything with it.

      • Cameron loudermill on September 8, 2019 at 4:52 pm

        My mom has been telling me that for years. Pray about it and leave it with God. If you keep your hands off of it He can work it out. Everytime I get the hang of doing that I get impatient, take it back and end up in a worse position than I started in. But I needed to hear that again though.

  54. Anon on February 20, 2019 at 12:14 am

    There is no simple way to share because it’s more complex than I’m capable of sharing. I will say that when I thought it was the end of my life it wasnt and I dont like what I’m going through because I feel powerless but again I’m still alive..and I’m researching and learning about complex topics like trust. The miracle is that I’m still alive.

  55. Amber on February 12, 2019 at 8:02 am

    Amazing article!! However left me still wondering.. I am debating on going on a medical mission trip outside the country and when mentioned to my wonderful parents they were very concerned and shared that they strongly do not wish for me to go. My boyfriend of 4.5 years also feels the same way about it. They claim that they don’t think I’ll be able to do much there with the money it costs to get there versus doing something in our own country. They also find it selfish because if something bad would happen to me there that would hurt them all very much. I see what they mean but going out of the country for a mission trip has always been on my heart. I have skipped going on multiple other vacations in order to save money for this. Is it selfish for me to still want to go even though it would offend my family and loved ones? Is God calling me to leave what I’m comfortable with and just hope that my family will understand? Is this his way of telling me that me and my boyfriend are not meant to be? Way too many factors have played into this and each day I become more confused. Thanks for reading 🙂

    • Jess on February 19, 2019 at 10:59 pm

      I just returned from a mission trip to Africa and I can’t even put into words how rewarding it was. To be able to help people and spread love and bring the word of Jesus to people on the other side of the world- that’s exactly what Jesus wanted us to do! And I now know- it’s not only for them, it’s for us! I learned so much! I came back humbled and my heart just filled to the brim with compassion! I’m almost having a hard time adjusting back to our modern culture and life… it’s amazing to be the hands and feet of the Lord. It’s amazing to give Him the opportunity to move through you.. I am a wife and a mother. My parents were not happy I was going either.. but Fod needed alone time with me as much as I needed with him! It’s truly a life changing experience. And I would advise you to pray on it and see what he speaks to your heart! But don’t let people hold you back from any opportunity you may have in a calling.
      Bless you

  56. MJ on February 12, 2019 at 5:55 am

    I’ve been working part time for many years while parenting two children. I recently applied for a full tine job that was perfect for me after I had left a part time job that had become toxic. I prayed about the full time job and prayed God would only open this door for me if it was his will. I prayed I wouldn’t get the job if it wasn’t his will and wasn’t right for us. I ended up being interviewed twice and offered the job. All through this process I have prayed if this isn’t right for our family that he would close the door and not let job be offered to me. Now that the job has been offered I’m realizing that my youngest (12) is not ready for me to be gone so much. Plus we have a very busy schedule and another parent working full time out of town which leaves all parenting duties to me. This job has little room to take time off to take care of kids. Someone else will need to get them from school and take them to their after achool activities as well as other appointments. This means not seeing each other for about 13 hours a day. It feels taking this job may put a strain on the family and especially my 12 year old. I’ve been praying for guidance but it isn’t clear to me yet. Any thoughts? Am I passing up a blessing?

    • Ann on February 13, 2019 at 7:34 pm

      Well, you prayed and God answered, I would try it! He will solve the issues. Many years ago when I had 5 young children I was called out of the blue and offered a full time teaching job. I had never thought about working at all, how would I do it with 5? But I felt God call me and so I said yes and he opened many doors – the most unbelievable one was that my youngest, a preschooler, was able to attend a day care in the classroom next to mine in my high school!! How God worked out that was amazing as it was well known and had quite a waiting list, but He wanted me to teach and worked all out. You prayed and He opened the door. Now trust that everything else will work out.

      I am moving also, away from my teaching job that is toxic to me. I love my students and classes but it is affecting my ability to be a good mom and wife. So I prayed, felt led, quit, and have now received a new job at a university! But like you I have doubts, but I have to trust that when I prayed God answered as He always does. And I have to trust that He knows best and knows all the details and needs, as He does and is working all out for His glory and my good.

    • theartist on April 29, 2019 at 3:41 pm

      DEAR MJ–
      “Blessings” that puts the family on the “back burner” so to speak tome, is NOT a blessing. I call it a demonic divide. My adult daugter was offered a lucrative position. From the time the children (4 of them) left for school -until 10pm (and beyond) they did not see mom. They became increasingly resentful, among themselves more often, and their diets consisted of “fast food” because momy came home too tired to cook ANYTHING. YES, it will put a strain on family. I saw it first hand. My daughter left the position (and it wasn’t by choice). I believe it was the hand of God.

  57. Lost on February 11, 2019 at 11:24 am

    I have been battling for years now asking God to do His will cause I don’t always know what to do. It seems like when I do that, everything falls apart. Work has been slow so I thought I would use the free time I had getting close to God. My family and I are n tricky situations on every level and we are challenged My go to has always been alcohol not a daily bases but often. It is my weak point. I prayed hard about it. And just
    when it seemed like I got it together all the work I have done fell apart in one day when all stresses became too much and I drank. I thought it would be okay as God knows my heart and it’s not that I love alcohol it’s just that it makes things easier for a bit…cause God does not always provide immediate help. It’s been four days now and my so called husband we are not married cause he thinks it’s old school has left me to sleep in a car for two days and now has locked me up in the house whenever he leaves and I’m not allowed to talk to our son. But I have never felt more free as I am spending time with God now and it’s stressful but nice just to be with Him.I have been asked to leave but we have been here so many times through my fault and my partners. It is a toxic relationship but we both believe in God and are Christians. I have a very important decision to make to leave or stay.I told God I’m not making any decisions and He must decide cause I’m tired of deciding and things just never work out on every level. I do things by faith and I do what’s right as far as I can. I’m emotionally exhausted cause our relationship has been challenged on every evel. Where most “marriages” end based on only one bad ordeal we have gone through them all. I just want to do what’s right for my son. But I don’t know what that is so I’m not making any decisions. I’m not moving cause I have tried various paths and still end up at the same fork on the road. Am I being silly?

    • Loret on February 11, 2019 at 11:36 am

      Go to AA. You are an alcoholic. You don’t need to drink everyday to be one. You are likely a “situational alcoholic”. What ever kind it is, you rely on drinking to get rid of stress. When in crisis, never a good time to make big decisions or drink. Go to AA. Go to every meeting you are able to make. You will know when you can go to fewer meetings but for now, you need every one of them. Until you get your alcoholism dealt with, nothing in your life will work and the toxicity you talk about is because of your drinking and will continue. I’m talking straight here and it may seem a bit tough but it is necessary to wake you up. Go to AA. You can’t hear God until you get this problem under control and clear your mind. Go to AA. They will teach you how to control your emotional impulses and show you how to find better ways to deal with your emotions. Go to AA and be supported by people in the same struggle you are. Take care. I wish you the best and I will pray for you to succeed.

      • Lost on February 11, 2019 at 11:39 am

        Thank you. I will. And get back to you.

        • Loret on February 11, 2019 at 12:02 pm

          Good! I hope you do. Work the program. The more you put into it, the more you will get out of it. It takes time to recover so do not expect immediate results that fix or change everything for the better. Get a sponsor too, someone who will help you work the program. Be patient and stay the course. It will be worth all the hard work. Yes, please report back. I wish you all success in finding your way out of this addiction.

      • Lost on February 11, 2019 at 12:32 pm

        Thank you I have made arrangements to attend my first meeting next Monday afternoon as it’s the closest to the one I am. Just thinking now that I have prayed literally begged God to help me with my drinking and asked the Holy Spirit to strengthen me and not let me fall into temptation. Why did God not answer me? Why did I have to look for help on a website and find my own healing before he can work through me?

        • Loret on February 11, 2019 at 4:46 pm

          Because He has a lesson(s) for you to learn. I don’t mean there is something bad coming. It will be good – Romans 8:28. Or there will be something about this journey that is going to bless someone else, through you. Or both. I’m not being mysterious or mystical here. Sometimes we need to climb out or go through so we learn something important. Sometimes it is so we can bless others. In my experience is it has worked both ways, for me. When I fought cancer, He could have healed me. He had done it before. But this time I had to walk through it, chemo and all. And because I did, I learned to let go of pride. I would not accept help until I got to a point that I had no choice. He knew this was the way for me to change a bad habit. I thank Him he put me through that very difficult experience. I learned that letting others help me, blessed them. I would not and could not see that refusing help was robbing others of blessing. Want to see someone light up with feeling good? Let them help you. I had a platform to witness on because no one tells a cancer patient they don’t want to hear it because if that patient dies, one might have shut up their last words. No reasonable person wants that guilt on their conscience. I don’t know why your healing will come through working it out. But Romans 8:28 is the best answer I can give you. Take the walk through AA and pray for God to give you HIS wisdom and understanding. This is one prayer HE promises to answer. James 1:5

          Now I’m not sure what you mean by “making arrangements to attend” ? You just go to AA. It is open to everyone without appointment. Do not think for one second I can’t sniff bull poo. I’m a recovered addict. I know it when I see it. Ok? So be real with me and I’l support you. But most of all, be real at AA. Don’t use that as a crutch to continue drinking or getting attention or any other purpose, other than getting yourself well.

          • Lost on February 12, 2019 at 3:55 am

            Thank you for being so hard on me. May you be blessed. I meant arrangements in the sense I looked it up found a meeting contacted the person to see if the time and date still applies. I suffer keratokonus which means I don’t drive much cause can’t see at night and had to find somebody who can drop me and pick me up. Another major challenge in my life as I’m quite independent but always have to ask to be driven around.



          • Loret on February 12, 2019 at 11:32 am

            Lost, after you get to first AA meeting, hopefully you will find people to help you get to meetings. Probably going to be important that you find a sponsor quickly so they may help with this too. Ask around. It is likely you will need more than one meeting a week. Try to go to 3 in the beginning so you don’t have too many days between. As I said before, eventually you will be able to cut back to 1-2 a week. Everyone is different. I had a friend who went multiple times a day but he needed to do that in the beginning of his sobriety, in order not to drink. Also remember one other thing I said, our need is someone else’s blessing. I’m very independent too but by letting other’s help me, I’ve found a way to bless them. And that pleases God. Best to you.

            Father I ask you to help Lost get to meetings, hold onto sobriety and willingly earn what you are about to teach. Father give Lost understanding of why she drinks so she may seek You for specific healing for this emotional problem(s). Give Lost the wisdom to know what to do instead of drinking. Help Lost find a sponsor and AA groups that will support and encourage her with people who will help her with rides. Father through this journey, heal Lost’s family relationships. And lastly I ask You to show her Your purpose of all this and how to use it for Your glory. In Jesus name, Amen



  58. Tara Constance on February 3, 2019 at 10:27 pm

    This was a fresh perspective. Does it apply to buying a home when we have debt?

    • theartist on April 29, 2019 at 3:46 pm

      DAVE RAMSEY. DAVE RAMSEY. Please look up this Christian Man who is STRAIGHT FORWARD when it comes to debt. “The borrower becomes a slave to the lender” is what Scripture clearly teaches.

  59. Donna on February 3, 2019 at 5:28 pm

    Psalms 32:8
    [8]I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.
    I t ruat God to keep His word and pray everyday that He will open the doors I should walk through and close the ones I shouldn’t. Praying unceasingly..I run the race. Difficult but after 3 years in the wilderness I KNOW He is always there.
    Don’t forget, He lets us make wring decisions and leads me through doors we would not have chosen. So that He gets the glory in the rescue.
    Faith and trust and believing that failure is okay..God still has us in His hands…He will allow us ruined knees and broken hearts to get to the ultimate goal of Christlikeness. Believing the unbelievable is the first step…more difficult than imaginable…but worth k owing the Lord.better.

    • Loret on February 4, 2019 at 7:09 am

      It is not true God allows us to make wrong decisions so He can rescue us for His Glory. Nor is it true that believing the unbelievable is the first step to anything with or about God. Where did you get these ideas?

      • Growing on April 3, 2019 at 6:11 am

        I interpreted her comment to mean that we all have free will. God will never take away this gift. We don’t always make decisions that are God-honoring. God clearly allows this. Both the OT and NT are filled with stories of about God’s people who made bad decisions, usually leading to bad consequences that had been foretold by God. Do you disagree?

  60. Deon on February 1, 2019 at 8:34 pm

    Hi, I got engaged recently and my Fiancé and I wants to get married in a few months. I recently graduated and I’m seeking a job and he has jus started up his own business there for money isn’t flowing as we would like it to. We started planning the wedding in faith because we both are believers and we committed it to God in prayer. Family are hinting that we can’t make it for the time set and we should push it back. I’ve laid everything before God and asked for his direct, Ive dreamt our wedding twice and how happened despite not having all the money in the beginning. I’ve dreamt our house twice. I have sort God in prayer and fasting and waiting for his direction (other the dreams) I’ve not seen things coming together and time is going and people are asking questions.
    When do I start having faith and be practical?

  61. Dionne lucas on January 31, 2019 at 2:23 pm

    Hi, im glad i found this, my marriage has been on da rocky side, hence probs i created based on actions i was getting from him so i reacted, im honestly nd sincerly regretful of da choices i made…now hes at da conclusion tht its best we get a devorce…i love my husband dearly nd dont agree…ive been praying nd hoping tht god wld just restore our marriage…but my faith hasnt been whr its supp 2 b…esp bcuz i havnt been seeing n e possitive changes…but ive decided 2 go at it with all my faith this time…i just want bk my husband nd a healthy pregnancy..plz keep us in ure prayers..thnx

  62. Christine on January 31, 2019 at 12:32 pm

    Hi! I am so glad I found this article. Next week I need to make a decision on whether or not to accept on offer for a Masters Degree overseas which starts in 8 months. The program will benefit my career options, I’ll finally be able to give back and teach college students afterwards in addition to my regular job. It’s also the only program I’ve applied to because it was the “perfect fit” after being out of school for 10 years. I’m scared because I made a stupid decision on grad school ten years ago and I’m still paying off the student loans. I’ve made tremendous progress, but I still have a ways to go. I also need to rely on my current employer to transfer me over on a visa (which they said they would support me on). My fear is what if my job falls through? I can’t afford graduate school without working (and I refuse to take out any loans this time around). Because this is a part-time grad program, I’m not eligible for many scholarships. How do I know whether to say accept the school’s offer next week and trust that in the next 8 months a job/visa will line up? If it doesn’t, then I’m contractually on the hook to pay the school. I’ve felt like God was opening doors and pushing me up to this point to where I actually have to jump, but now I’m wondering if this is all just my pride of a obtaining graduate degree. How do I know?

  63. Tricia on January 30, 2019 at 10:37 pm

    Hello,

    I feel God’s leading to marry someone. Ive prayed and fasted at length and it has been revealed to me through scripture, dreams, and impressions from the holy spirit that I am meant to marry a man who happens to be my 2nd cousin by relation. After revealing it to our families, everyone has given their blessing since we’ve expressed that we’re being led by God except my mother and aunt. They find the decision to be shameful, against God’s will, selfish, irresponsible, amongst other things. My mother has expressed to me many times that I would break her heart and bring shame to her name if I decide to proceed with this. I can already feel the division growing between her and me. However, I still believe God is leading me to make this decision… No matter how seemingly odd or culturally shamed. I feel caught between following what I believe to be God’s leading and doing something that could potentially break my mother. What advice do you have for me?

    • T on February 7, 2019 at 4:38 am

      Wow, you’re marrying your cousin???

    • Loret on February 7, 2019 at 7:26 am

      Sometimes we get so caught up in what we think God is telling us, we have blinders on because we want what we want. I’m not sure if that is you or not but it is a great question to ask yourself. If you 2 are really meant to be together, then hold off until God unites the whole family on this. If you are really meant to be together there is no harm in waiting and in fact you will grow stronger, together, over time.

      Family are those you go cradle to grave with. Take it from someone who is orphaned by family rejection, it is a hard way to live and lonely, lonely, lonely especially around the holidays.

      I would ask you to consider the some unintended consequences. Here are some suggestions to think about:

      -the rate of birth defects is higher especially for heart and nervous disorders (spinal bifida is one).
      -shared genes have an increased chance of undesirable recessive genes showing up. how will you deal with that? can you? please don’t be flippant here about God getting you through or taking care of it. A child in need of 24/7 care or management is exhausting and taxes the best of relationships to the brink of destruction and most marriages do not survive.
      -will the family be split if you 2 divorce? what will it be like at family events with both of you there?
      -divorce with children causes both parents to be in constant contact with one another for the rest of their lives. it is tough enough on kids but I can’t imagine having my divorced parents in one family and having to deal with that. At least when I was with one side I could escape the other side.
      -you may not be able to talk to family (parents) when in need of support so not to cause divisions between parents who are siblings or close so who then?

      When we are young we think we know all we need to know but our parents have a lot of life experience that is worth considering. And I understand I pointed out a lot of negative here. But I also feel this is not a situation the one can simply advise “do what God says”. I’m not sure this is God telling you. I wonder if your family is all or mostly believers and this is the enemy trying to divide you all?

      For me, when all else is confusing I go to scripture. You never go wrong following that.
      Honour your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land that Yahweh your God is giving you. Ex 20:12

      • Rachel on April 15, 2019 at 11:08 am

        The poster said it was a second cousin which I don’t think causes as much in the way of birth defects as children of first cousins. Also-why do you assume that all family has to be on board for something to be God’s will? Even Jesus said that if we put him first, it may cause divisions with mothers and fathers and those close to us. I can’t begin to know what’ God’s will is in this case, but it could be God’s will that they marry.

  64. Stace on January 30, 2019 at 6:08 pm

    Help please with any thoughts or comments: I have worked for a well known Christian ministry (speaker, pastor, tv, ecourses) and have gone from a contract position to a more permanent position. In speaking with the CFO, we discussed FT employment, and because a large move would have to take place, I needed to know the salary. We’ve had 3 meetings, 1 outside talk regarding the need for me to have a price point if its doable to move. Every conversation has ended in frustration because she refuses to give a wage, unless I agree to take the job. Even with my yes, I still cannot get a quote from her. Yesterday, on the phone, she asked me to email what I would like to be paid, job description, etc and they would discuss it. I know these owners personally, so I am really stuck on whether to move forward or get out. I’ve had mixed advice so this lesson was so good for me. I like my job, I learn and grow, doing it with excellence, as PH did. I’ve called out some broken places and think perhaps all of this is push back for honesty and integrity. My sister says run, they don’t really want you, God has something greater- we have fought over this a few times.
    What I’d like is an outside perspective, am I fighting harder for this than they are? Am I going to be used for growth and change? Is it toxic and I need to stay out? Thanks to whoever can speak into this please.

    • Loret on January 30, 2019 at 8:58 pm

      There should be a salary and all the benefits discussed prior to taking an offer. You can’t know if pay is good if they don’t say! I’m not sure this is about not wanting you but it sure is dysfunctional. And usually when there is “crazy” going on, it doesn’t get better; crazy just gets worse. That old tip of the iceberg thing. I know you may be looking for some scripture here but I feel this is just a moment when you need to use the brains God gave you and as he instructed us all how to use them. Matt 10:16

      I’m curious to know what you decide.

  65. KPUK on January 22, 2019 at 9:10 am

    I would be interested in your comments on the following:

    I am part of a church leadership team. The congregation is looking and wanting change but are unsure what that change should be. after a while and many leadership meetings I felt it was clear what many people thought was the general direction we should go as a church but did not know or could not agree what the first step should be.

    One day I felt challenged to search the bible for someone ‘Who God spoke to’…. a thus says the Lord moment.

    I found a passage that seemed to lay everything out before me – How the ‘Vision’ was imparted to the individual, how that person revealed the vision and the steps that unfolded so the vision was realised. As I was thinking on this passage, over a number of months I found other events around me started to confirm or add to the explanation via Christian friends, Sermons, Daily bible notes etc. – Not all mine

    The Leadership team had a number of ‘Waiting on the Lord’ times and at one I spoke about ‘The vision’ and the need for us to make a decision or step out in faith. I truely believed God would speak to their hearts and that we would move forward.

    its now over 12 months later and we are still in the same position we were before.

    I have wrestled with the point that I believed God was wanting us to ‘do something’, I felt he spoke clearly. I am not one that wants fame or fortune, or believe that I am Gods gift and find it dificult to reconcile what I believe is Gods will for our Church
    that nothing has happened. It makes you question if it was not his will how did I get it so wrong in my understanding.

    have you ever experienced anything like this ? How did you come to terms with it ? Do you know of any Scriptures that can shed any light.

    • Loret on January 22, 2019 at 12:26 pm

      This is awfully vague so makes it hard to answer. Are you able to give more specifics and tell us what your vision for the church is?

      • KPUK on January 23, 2019 at 3:09 am

        I do not think explaining the vision is important. The point I seek an answer to is:

        Have you every been fully convinced of Gods will only to find ‘Nothing happens’ – not a yes/no/maybe or wait ?
        Not having a reply puts you in a position of doubt – not of Gods love and promises – a personal doubt that you can get it so wrong. –

        I am interested in any scripture that can shed light on this matter

        • Loret on January 23, 2019 at 7:08 am

          I don’t know any scripture on this subject. Not in the way you want it to say.
          When I’ve been fully convinced God is saying something and when nothing happens, I usually find that idea came from within myself or the enemy put it in my head. Yes, I can get it very wrong. Sometimes God doesn’t give us a vision to act on but only to pray on. When something God is doing is really of Him, he moves others too. If the others are not moving, then maybe it isn’t God talking to you? The devil can come in forms that makes us think he is God.

          In the bible, when it comes to visions and prophecy, they are primarily about calling people away from the sin of idolatry, empty ritualism, committing injustice on the poor. Some were given visions about the end times. Isaiah had visions. You might try reading Isaiah 6 to see what Godly visions are like. In closing, I suggest you go back to the drawing board of our Father and ask if it is really from Him and what He wants you to do about it. Ask Him to show you if it properly lines up with His character, His word and His ways. He always answers those questions. Truly test this vision against the Word. God does not make up new things so whatever this is, it has biblical support, if from Him. He is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow. If not biblically supported, then time to give it up. The fact that others are not moved leads me to think this may be not of God or only about something to pray for.

  66. BEST on January 14, 2019 at 10:55 pm

    Is it being faithful or foolishness? I was expecting a check from an employer for a scheduled payment plan and I didn’t receive it. I was going to email the employer (church) but of out of fear of not wanting to disturb the church when I know they might have other bills or risk of burdening them, I didn’t ask. Also, I heard a testimony from a lady that she waited on God for her finances and he provided so I thought to wait. Now the check still hasn’t come and it was too late to tell the creditors to postpone, was I being foolish?

    • Loret on January 15, 2019 at 7:05 am

      Foolish. When someone owes you money for work done, even a church, it is OK to make a polite and timely inquiry. The sooner the better. But what concerns me is if they aren’t paying you, what is going wrong with their financials? Also, as a business owner, I never make my problems my employees’ problem. Especially when it comes to pay. I would never, ever disrespect them this way. That money they worked for is “fully earned” and there are that laws forbid withholding it never mind it goes against God’s instruction in Luke 6:31.

  67. BEST on January 14, 2019 at 10:53 pm

    Is it being faithful or foolishness? I was expecting a check from an employer for a scheduled payment plan and I didn’t receive it. I was going to email the employer (church) but of out of fear of not wanting to disturb the church when I know they might have other bills or risk of burdening them, I didn’t ask. Also, I heard a testimony from a lady that she waited on God for her finances and he provided so I thought to wait. Now the check still hasn’t come and it was too late to tell the employers to postpone, was I being foolish?

  68. Edson Sadialunda on January 5, 2019 at 5:01 pm

    I have read so many articles about faith and trust I God and now I understand why most of the believers are struggling to get their breakthroughs and success: we are afraid to make the last decision in all that we do. Praying is not a problem but to make that killer decision needs God’s grace and guidance.

    • Diana on January 5, 2019 at 10:54 pm

      On point

  69. Tom on December 29, 2018 at 1:27 pm

    I am what would be considered by most an “older” leader (50+), but I find myself in a imposed season of trust. Without a ministry (and a pay cheque) at this stage of my life is not something I would have chosen for myself, but here I am. But I am learning lessons about waiting and trusting I never would have learned if life was predictable or routine. I would naturally been one who would play it safe, but God in His wisdom has seen fit to enforce a season of risk and trust on my wife and me. I’m reminded of that scene in the movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where he stands before a bottomless chasm and is instructed to step into the thin air, but to have faith. When he does, he finds that there had been a glass bridge there all the time. I see myself like Jones standings before decisions with no guarantees, only the voice of God saying, “Do you trust me?” It does seem more difficult to risk now that I am older because I know now better the cost and consequences of a poor decision. But I never want to miss out on the excitement of seeing God at work in a new venture. That’s why I embrace this season on enforced trust as gift.

    • Diane Simmons on December 30, 2018 at 10:18 pm

      Thank you for sharing. My husband and I find ourselves in such a similar situation. We are in our 50s facing a move to a new city from where we have lived our entire lives. My husband was wrongfully let go from his job of 34 years with no insurance or paycheck. For more than 7 years we have been struggling spiritually since the church we pastored closed. No place has felt like home since. Our desire has been to move to Central Florida but he had a very good job that payed well and why rock the boat? Risks… to leave where we have always been to a place that we know very little about, with very little money, especially at our age is so scary! But somehow I feel God pushing us on to new things…I have been interviewed twice for a very unusual position and I believe I will be offered this position in a matter of days but I as a wife have never been the main breadwinner and in a different place…faith or foolishness has definitely been lingering in my mind!

  70. Doug Kibbe on December 29, 2018 at 11:03 am

    Thx Carey! This is a timely post as our growing church is seriously considering a move from the movie theaters to a permanent facility. As the lead pastor I really felt the impact of the statement “…you tend to not want to lose what you’ve got.” I realized I had slowed down on taking big steps of faith in the name of “being wise.” But our church has been taking big steps of faith for 3 years and seen God do incredible things as a result. I want to operate as debt-free as possible to ensure our $$ goes into ministry and not maintenance, so this adds a degree of uncertainty, and brings the tension of the faith-foolishness issue to the forefront. I really appreciated the 2 questions you offered! What’s so funny is, I shared with my wife what this blog was about before I finished it. Her remark was “I say we just go for it, and trust God to stop us in our tracks if we are doing the wrong thing.” Lo and behold as I kept reading, that was your suggestion!! I got my confirmation this morning, so thx!!

  71. Alex on December 29, 2018 at 10:06 am

    Appreciate the tensions that this post calls us to live into. We so prefer to cling to either ‘pole’ of our own wisdom or what we call faith when in fact we’re called to walk the tightrope between the two. This is true of so much genuine faith–appreciate how Carey regularly avoids simplistic answers to complex questions!

  72. Mark on December 29, 2018 at 8:55 am

    I’ve struggled with risk and wisdom. For a few years, I felt God’s call to step out into a new endeavor. The results have been slow and I’m not sure after a year I did the right thing. But, I’ve never been a risk taker and I took one!

  73. Scott on December 29, 2018 at 8:49 am

    Very helpful questions. Thank you.

  74. PH on December 28, 2018 at 8:53 am

    Not sure where to start – but here goes. Happy to hear opinions / advice.
    I have spent 40 years working in the corporate sector with an unblemished and decorated career portfolio.

    Near on 3 years ago I was appointed to an senior exec role looking to implement culture change. Following a careful and considered review of this company’s culture I concluded it was significantly flawed both morally and operationally.

    Unbeknownst to me the CEO who recruited me was the main contributor in perpetrating a divisive and toxic culture and who can only be described as a congenital liar and manipulator.

    That being said, I prayed ‘hard’ for wisdom. I know my craft and I knew what needed to be done. Setting aside the details of operational reforms I was confronted with a Caligula style of immoral office behaviours. Meaning, open office affairs (extra-marital), slothenly behaviours, no accountabilty, no respect etc.

    Then can the dreaded Christmas office party. One of my own staff was seen cavorting with one of the GMs of the company. Not wanting to create a scene I asked another member of my staff to discreetly request this female staff member to desist bringing herself and my department into disrepute. The function was being held in a public location which a member of the public mentioned to me that she was behaving “like a bitch on heat”.

    As a professional exec and holder of deep scruples I was none too pleased. I avoided direct contact on the night because this staff member was clearly intoxicated.
    Instead I elected to contact her the following day (Saturday) to express my disappointment at her behaviour and advised her to meet with me on the Monday morning (the event was on the previous Friday night).

    During the week-end this staff member contacted the GM who then contacted the CEO. As it happens the GM in question is the CEO’s brother!!! I knew this but I stuck to me ethics – I was not going to allow my team to be subjected to rumours of affairs and the like.

    On the Monday morning the CEO ambushed me in my office stating this staff member of mine lodged a sexual harassment claim against me citing some 30 instances over a period of 6 weeks. I was completely gob-smacked.

    Without a proper investigation I have been terminated from my job!!

    My faith and personal moral compass and beliefs have been smashed. I know the nature of the CEO. I was set-up. Lies perpetrated. No concrete proof lodged. Just allegations.

    It is now 12 months since this rort has been done to me but I have engaged lawyers at great cost.

    BUT in God I trust. I have prayed every day, multiple times, hard, for God to deliver me and justice be served. “Call on Me in your day of troubles, and I will deliver you, and You will honour me”.

    I have wrestled with God and claimed a number of Psalmic promises He made. I am also wrestling with trust issues.

    Society today it seems rewards cowardice and the not taking of self-accountabilty and responsibility. I will not resile from my firm conviction that a person is measured by their actions. 40 years of decorated service destroyed because I called out poor behaviour (both this female and the CEO’s brother have partners).

    I cannot do anything other than keep praying for a miracle. A supernatural miracle. This evil, which led to my dismissal and ruined my retirement, must be exposed but only God can do this. My enemies are too powerful.

    Has anyone been challenged to the point of losing faith? How can I possibly expect victory when I am powerless? Does anyone or could anyone share any miracle events (genuine please) in dire situations)

    Thank you in advance
    PH

    • Loret on December 28, 2018 at 9:46 am

      Dear PH, I bet you feel a lot like Shadrack, Meshack and Abendigo. They were thrown into the furnace for refusing to worship the idol. They committed to honoring God and stayed faithful to Him even to say if they died they would remain faithful. They sang praises to God and thanked him for the circumstances. And when they did, our Father delivered them unharmed from the furnace. Job was wiped out. Family killed and all possessions taken until he had nothing and was sitting on an ash heap. His wife told him to curse God and die. Job stayed faithful and God delivered him and restored him with more than he had. God is our defender. It is His reputation on the line, not yours. Like Moses, and the people at the Red Sea Crossing, get out of His way, be still and wait. Let God “kill the Egyptians”. I have a room mate that went on a 4 month anger trip with me. I could not evict him because he didn’t break the tenant laws. My home was a war zone (furnace) and the only refuge I had was my bedroom. I got busy getting out of God’s way and let Him defend me. I clung close to my Father, thanked Him and praised Him for the circumstances. I asked for wisdom and understanding and He gave it to me. I got busy with my life in keeping home and job together. I never thought there would be a good end. In fact I thought my room mate would move out and leave a broken friendship without so much as a glance back. But God turned this around by changing their attitude towards me. He showed this person what a blessing he had renting from me. God let my room mate trip over every crazy rooming situation out there. Because of this, my room mate had to change his own opinions and admit he has it pretty good where he is. Now we now coexist in peace. I suggest you start asking God to defend you. Also ask God to give your attorney wisdom and for the lies to be brought into the open. Then leave it alone, don’t dwell on it and go about your business. I’m positive that like in 2 Kings 19, when you come back to it, the defeat will be complete. The enemy will be dead, the kings in disarray and murdering one another, running for home with their tails between their legs. I can tell you that when God brings the victory it is always so sweet and complete. One more thing, count on God answering when there will be the maximum impact for His glory. Be patient, wait, God does defend. Loret

      • PH on December 29, 2018 at 6:57 am

        Loret
        Thank you. Truly.
        PH
        Happy New Year

        • Ann on January 19, 2019 at 7:42 pm

          Loret,
          Also from me thank you – I will read these words often in the upcoming months. But I also do not want to sound vain, I realize that in some difficult situations God is trying to refine me and make me a better Christian and admit that needs to be done also. When in a difficult spot I always wonder if it is my fault or I need correction somehow.

    • Dennis on December 29, 2018 at 11:37 am

      Thirty years in municipal government caused me to face similar circumstances on many occasions. I was the target of multiple race based claims of discrimination for simply doing my job, which included initiating disciplinary procedures when violation of rules and/or public trust made itself known. Thankfully none of these frivolous complaints were sustained. I felt totally defeated many times, but God always seemed to say; “I’m still here. Just hang in there a while longer. I have something better waiting for you at the end of this journey.” Sure enough, He was and is faithful. I have now been retired for 8 years, have an adequate pension benefit, and haven’t looked back. Craey said; ‘Competency gets you in the room. Character keeps you there.” I agree in principle with that. However, there are environments, such as the one you described, that are so toxic that “character” is actually a detriment to your success. I wish you and I had the opportunity to work together!
      Best wished to you going forward!

    • Nikki on December 30, 2018 at 4:22 am

      Hi PT, I’m sorry for such a tough time you are having and the disheartening place you find yourself in! I have a couple of (radical, so buckle up) things come to mind for me when I read your journey. The first is from a similar (but different) story I heard of – a gentleman who was African American and an executive of the highest caliber. After years in various roles and moving up In the company, he was currently sitting at VP, and he thought the newly vacated President role would be his. This role went to another person. The VP felt the decision was a racial decision and hired a lawyer to defend him in the situation. He was not gaining much ground and was similarly frustrated that his name, knowledge, loyalty etc was being tarnished by this. He prayed and prayed and asked God for justice. One day God said to him ‘You haven’t given me room’ When he queried God on this, asking how do I give you room and room to do what? God replied that He would like to defend him, but God couldn’t because he had hired a lawyer. This man chose to let his lawyer go and ‘give God room’ The outcome was miraculous in that he received a position where he was asked what pay he would like and the position was so much more credible and well regarded than what he was previously defending through his lawyer. I appreciate this story is not the same, but there are similarities – maybe you need to ask God how he wants to defend you?
      Another thought is around the motivation of the female staff member and her accusations against you. After the inappropriate behaviours of your staff member and the GM at the Christmas party, I imagine you spoke to the female staff member because she was part of your team? I am wondering who (or if) you organised someone to speak to the GM about his behaviour? If not, this seems an obvious point of power imbalance or oversight that could offend? If it was only the female approached around the behaviour at the party, I can see this might be enough for her to react and strongly in defence. Please hear me – I don’t think this woman’s response or accusations are justified by any means, but people can take an offence and then when coupled with a threat to themselves or a false sense of their power (from her connection to the GM) perhaps she has attacked and made accusations from this basis? I think it would be worth asking her what she thought of your approach and whether you can take the sting or bitterness from her accusations? Again I appreciate this may seem a hard ‘pill’ for you to swallow but God may be journeying you through some things for your own personal growth so that when he reinstates/restores/redeems you to a larger sphere of influence you will have incresaed wisdom, humility and moral perspectives?? All the very best PH and I know from my own gnarly journey that he truely does work all things together for good – and even when it doesn’t look like it, feel like or sound like it – keep declaring this truth! He is able to create a wonderful testimony out of this!

    • Ann on January 19, 2019 at 7:27 pm

      PH please reply with how it is going but rely on God. Here is my story. I went to teach at what I thought was a christian school but behind the scenes far from it! Very unethical and cruel behavior. It was getting very hard for me after a few years, you see, unethical types notice right away your heart and tendency to do what is right and will put you down. So I felt led to search elsewhere for the next school year. I applied at a school I had never really considered upon the advice of a coworker (who was looking also for same reasons). Well, long story short, there was an instance that I needed to report to headmaster. I had reported it in email but we were scheduled to meet. The day before this meeting I receive an unexpected offer to go to this school that next semester, not waiting until next year. I said I had not planned that and planned on finishing my year. But the next day the headmaster was so angry I would not hide the incident he really yelled at me to intimidate me into silence. So, while I am christian and think I should hold my word and finish the year, I did not just leave but asked for permission to go. I loved my students and it is hard to leave because you are reporting unethical behavior, but God provided an unexpected out at just the right time and my angry headmaster agreed. Also, I had to take a bit of a pay cut, more than I would of liked. So driving to the new job on the first day I just asked God for $8000 more. So when I got to my new school the contract was there for me for $8000 more than I agreed to the month before! God had a respite place for me and for more than expected. Unfortunately my husband was transferred and I had to leave that wonderful ethical school and I find myself in a similar spot – not near as unethical but I am seeing signs that there is not the care I would expect for my students or leading them up as honest christians. I have had to endure some bullying as there is a pervasive attitude that students cannot learn, when they fail it is their fault, and they should be punished with bad grades. I like to try new things to get them learning and for the most part it has worked – but the bitterness of others is overwhelming. So I have given my resignation to be in effect at the end of this school year. I am sad to leave students I love but it is taking a toll on my ability to serve my own family. I am now trusting God to provide for me what he needs me to do next year as I love to teach and hate to give it up. I am also, even more so, trusting God to give me a loving and serving heart toward my employer as in the next 4 months surely God wants me to represent Him well. Remember Jonah who had to go and preach and did not want to because of the sinfulness of Ninevah? Perhaps God has a mission for you where you are. Stand firm, show God’s love to them even though it is hard, just like Jonah. I will also, trying to be the best employee and have a heart of service and love and not the bitterness I often feel. I will pray for you, please pray for me, and let’s reply as God unfolds His plans!

    • Anon on February 20, 2019 at 12:13 am

      There is no simple way to share because it’s more complex than I’m capable of sharing. I will say that when I thought it was the end of my life it wasnt and I dont like what I’m going through because I feel powerless but again I’m still alive..and I’m researching and learning about complex topics like trust. The miracle is that I’m still alive.

      • Loret on February 20, 2019 at 7:19 am

        It is simple. Why questions are wanted so ask Him to give you wisdom and understanding about your situation. Trust is no big mystery. Either you do or you don’t and when I’m on a search about trust, I’m not trusting. I’m looking for concrete proof and that is not faith. Faith is the complete confidence in someone or something; without any holding back. The choice is yours to believe He has your best interests at His heart or not. I hope you find peace.

        If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

  75. Jimie Fowler on November 26, 2018 at 2:14 am

    I must admit this column was really tremendously encouraging to me ,I’m in a crossroads of walking away from my secular job into full-time Ministry I will be sacrificing a lot and walking into the unknown, but I really feel as though this is what God is leading me to do, this will be the biggest “leap of faith” ever,but I am willing to do it for the Kingdom of God,, I solicit your prayers

    • Diana on December 14, 2018 at 8:15 am

      Hei Jimmie,
      Good for you. I am in similar situation, the difference is i already quit my job and decided to go back to school for theology. I am still in counsel of some wise church friends, and if no great objection, i’ll go for it. Living it up in prayer that i can pass the entrance test as well.

  76. Alicia NYC on November 22, 2018 at 12:02 am

    Hi,

    Thank you for writing this article. I moved to New York City about 8 months ago. A year ago, I dropped out of school. I knew that wasn’t for me because it was agonizing to me every moment I was there. Deep down I knew I was meant for more than to be in a town where everyone and their parents did the same thing. I didn’t want to be like that and I struggled to fit somewhere. On top of that I worked in a factory. For months, I had clues and signs that helped me along to make that decision. The first attempt to move in the end of December, everyone told me to wait. So I did for a season. I made the decision to move on the first day of Spring, a new season. I didn’t care what I had to go through or what I had to do (that was moral of course) to make it. It was a good thing that I didn’t know what I had have to go through, because it was easier said than done. Everyone in my old town would tell me they believed I needed to wait longer, to save more money, to be more seasoned, whatever it was. I was so miserable there and I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere with myself. As far as moving, accomplishing anything, I was depressed and I believed it was only going to get worse. Now, I’m back for thanksgiving break for only a week. I’m basically at that “faith or foolishness” phase again. I’m in need of a job and I believe God is going to come through on time. My parents are worried and now I’m a bit worried, wondering if I did the right thing moving to New York. I admit, switching real estate firms too soon probably wasn’t a good idea and maybe I should have gotten a job sooner once real estate slowed down. I was having so much hope that maybe I’d get that client who’d take care of the whole slow season, I was doing everything I could to avoid getting a job and I think God had to work with me on my stubbornness about that or maybe it was on time. The only reason why I’m in the right mind writing this to help others, is that I was given a gift way before I moved to New York, had the statue of Liberty on a refrigerator magnet. Please, let me know your thoughts. I want to put this out there because maybe someone else in my situation could receive help from this. I’d like to send an update in a few months as far as where I am.

  77. Lynette on November 21, 2018 at 2:38 am

    Love this article.
    After becoming a mom I have been in a constant fight with this question. Am I trusting God with my child’s safety or am I being an idiot?
    I have a lot of fears from my own childhood that make me be kind of a helicopter Mon with my almost 4 year old. I have a huge stranger danger fear.
    It took me many month of sleepless nights before I could conformably leave my toddler at Sunday school.
    Now after almost 2 years I feel comfortable at church and with the many volunteers at Church. I’ve gotten to a place where I had become comfortable enough to be part of VBS and Awana which has been amazing for my growth in the church and feeling part of a church for the first time.
    When I was almost ready to start a Sunday bible study and leave my kiddo at her Sunday school class for 2 services I then walked in on the children’s director being overly aggressive with their own child. This aggressiveness required the church to call child protective services. Which this situation just validated my original fears of leaving my child in a Sunday school class.
    Now that this individual I thought I could trust has been asked to go on leave for a while is about to return. I am fearful of my child being alone in the church while they are there because I have a fear this parent may take their frustration out on my child and they are in a position in the church where they have access to her… Which brings me back to am I suppose to trust God that all will be OK and I am just being over protective… Or so I use logic and just make sure I am always with my child and be in her Sunday school class at one of her teachers like I am for awana… And if so this means that our family will loose out on our daughter being independent in the church and my and my husband being able to grow more with our church and join a couples Sunday school class.
    So I battle back and fourth because I cannot predict the future, and I don’t want to revert and go back to not being able to let my daughter be able to enjoy church without me always next to her side, and I’m saddened this issue is blocking me and my husband from joining a couples group where we can become more connected in pur church with other families….
    I’m just not sure how to balance…forgiveness or this persons actions and just being stupid to allow her around my child without myself or my husband around her…

    • Loret on November 21, 2018 at 7:56 am

      I would say God was right there protecting you both. First He revealed the problem and then he showed you, you can trust that your church is not going to allow it to the point that the church made sure this individual’s own children are safe. I’m not a parent but I had a father who could not be trusted with children, his or anyone’s so I understand this fear. It is easy to look back and focus on the bad and believe “we” can stop future bad but reality is we have no control. So why not trust our Father who has all the control? It appears to me He already is protecting you.

      Next I would disagree with you being stupid for allowing this person around your daughter. How are you to know? But what you might do is ask the church to background check child care people and that adults must be in pairs at all times when caring for children. And to put security cameras in the areas where children are cared for. My church has done all of the above even tho there has never been an incident. Its about prevention so there is no future hurting of any kind. But most of all ADVOCATE THIS PERSON IS NOT ALLOWED AROUND THE CHILDREN. If the church continues with this plan, then yes it may be time to move on to another church.

      In 1962 my mother had the wonderful idea to teach me about good touches and bad touches. This would not become an idea to be taught publicly until some 20+ yrs later. She said to me simply this: “no man should put his hands inside your clothes. And if they do, I want you to tell me right away. Promise?” This did not scare me when put like this. That instruction saved me from my father molesting me. If you do something like this, be careful not to project your fears onto you daughter. My mother grew up in a home that was a horror and she never, ever projected that onto me. She let me have my innocence of childhood.

      Forgive them. Forgiveness is not about them its about you. Your forgiveness never lets anyone off the hook and it doesn’t wipe out any bad they did. They don’t get off that hook until they go to God themselves and make it right with Him. But forgiveness does free you from the sin of unforgiveness because He calls us to forgive the way Jesus did who forgave everyone, including those that nailed Him to the Cross. Forgiveness does not mean you go tell that person, nor do you ever have to bring that person back into your life. Forgiveness is the process of letting go of the hurt, anger and bitterness so it doesn’t poison you from the inside to out. In fact, some people, based on their behavior, should and need to be kept out of our lives. Forgiveness is about living like Christ which is what we are called to do.

      I hope this helps. You are the daughter of The King. Walk in confidence and believe He has your back. Psalm 23. The rod was a weapon a shepherd used to beat off the wolves and the staff is the hook the shepherd used to pull the sheep from danger.

      • Lynette on November 22, 2018 at 9:04 am

        Loret, thank you very much for your response. It is extremely helpful and gives me a lil more perspective on where to go from here.

  78. Tareesa on November 14, 2018 at 11:44 am

    Frustrated. Purposeless. Lost. This is how I am feeling. I have always known what I wanted to do in life. Since I was a child, all the way up to graduating and starting college, I knew I wanted to become a veterinarian. I developed cat and dog allergies in high school, plus the local college I was going to did not offer veterinary medicine. I changed my major to something others thought I should do, and eventually flunked out of college due to a loss of motivation. 12 years later, I still want to pursue something animal-related, but have done nothing but doubt my dreams and wondered if they’re even in God’s will. After all, I developed these allergies that steer me away from working with animals, couldn’t get a part-time job at a vet clinic because of this, and maybe it just won’t be a good move for me. I have considered and dreamed about lots of other jobs I would like too, but it always seems to come down to working with animals in some capacity. I have prayed, but I still have no clarity, and I often feel that this career dream doesn’t offer much to God’s kingdom anyways, so maybe it’s not God’s will? I was one tiny turned-in-application away from beginning a volunteer position at a local wildlife refuge last year, but froze in fear and did nothing. Currently, I am about ready to just bust out of my safe little 12-year bubble, quit my job, and do SOMETHING early next year, and I am so perplexed! Is my dream in line with God’s will? Doesn’t He want me doing something more profitable for His kingdom and His people? I talk myself out of what I think my dream is because of this and the allergies and other factors, so I am feeling really lost and confused. Should I just let it go and sacrifice my will for His, and look for something else? Is there anyone who can give me some advice or pointers?

    • Loret on November 14, 2018 at 4:26 pm

      I had a messed up childhood that gave a pretty messed up adulthood through my 30s and was so dysfunctional I could not do much. I too should have become a vet. Now its too late, I have health issues that would not let me work as a vet never mind do 80 hrs a week of school. I stand on Romans 8:28. You sound like you are young enough to still follow your dream. Maybe the best thing you can do right now is get into the Word and deepen your knowledge of Him. I suggest you put Him first, put your focus completely on Him. I will bet you will find out what He wants you to do. What ever it will be, dream or something else, it will be exactly the right thing to do. What am I doing since I can’t be my dream? Writing and I’m loving it. Can’t wait to get to it in the morning and hate to leave it in the afternoon. Never would have thought I’d be writing. One more thing. We can spend our time regretting what we don’t have or spend our time being grateful for what we do have.. Come back someday and tells what happens with you. OK?

      • Tareesa on November 14, 2018 at 7:20 pm

        Thank you so much, Loret, for your words and for taking the time to tell me your message. I will take your advice. I probably do consume more of my time worrying about this Vs focusing on Him. And I certainly am grateful for what He has given me. It’s good to be reminded to stay that way. I sure will come back and update, and I’m so glad to hear that you found another thing that you love to do! Thank you again for your encouragement and response.

        • Loret on November 15, 2018 at 6:12 am

          🙂

    • K on November 18, 2018 at 9:18 am

      Take an allergy pill, go see a acupuncture person who deals with allergies Go large animals horses cows they need a vet too. Go for your dream!!!!

      • Tareesa on November 19, 2018 at 7:44 pm

        Thanks, K! I appreciate your encouragement! I really think I’m going to see an allergy specialist soon, and I plan to at least go for that volunteer position at the start of next year (too much going on right now to commit myself to it at this time). We’ll see where I go from there — and where God may direct me also.

    • Kirsty Marillier on December 5, 2018 at 2:31 pm

      I just feel I want to encourage you with something that releases me. I like to call myself a recovering perfectionist because I’m the past I was always so afraid to make a mistake or the wrong decision- until one day the Holy Spirit spoke into my core. He said “Kirsty, you can’t be afraid of making mistakes” and I said “Why?” And He said, “Because it’s a religious spirit” and I said, “What do you mean?” And He said “Because it means, that deep down, at a heart level, you don’t believe there’s enough grace for your mistakes”

      And that completely freed me. I pray it does the same for you. Your weakness is the portal for God’s power. I would say send that application in for the wildlife refuge. You have nothing to lose. God is in it. Even if it doesn’t end up being the outcome you wanted, trust there is provision for that moment.
      He is way too good and way too kind to be overwhelmed by your fears and anxieties. He doesnt fall off His throne. There is provision for this moment, take it.

      • Tareesa on February 20, 2019 at 5:47 pm

        Kirsty, I want to thank you for your words! This was very encouraging and good stuff. And that’s all so true! Fear of making mistakes is something I struggle with constantly. I’ve also had strong perfectionistic tendencies, and I do need to let that go and trust God for His grace & provision! Thank you for this great reminder! And thank you again for taking the time and leaving me with your words. <3

    • Justine on December 30, 2018 at 12:12 am

      Please find every way possible to go for it. Otherwise, you’ll live the rest of your life like that, wondering what could have been, and living a life of regret. That is not a good way to live.
      It will make you have low self esteem, unsettled -because wherever you are, you always feel like you should have been elsewhere, so it’s difficult to excel at things and you end up coasting through life, you’ll keep feel like a failure. Is that a good place to be long term? You’ll hate yourself and even start envying people.
      So, please, just prayerfully take the plunge. And if it doesn’t work out, you’ll be released to try other things.

      I used to think that I wanted to be a medical doctor. However, I initially, I failed to get the grades to study Medicine, so I instead did Physiotherapy. Every time I would be on the ward with the doctors, I’d keep thinking how that could have been me. I tried applying for the courses but they were extremely expensive. I instead got advice to study something that would add onto what I already was doing, so I would be growing ”upwards” than ”sideways”. I did a Masters Degree but still wasn’t sure. One day, I was on the ward, with the doctors and the consultant, I was standing there as the physiotherapist. I saw the responsibility on the Consultant Geriatrician’s shoulder and asked myself, if that was what I really wanted? Because I knew, if I were to study Medicine, I would have to work my way up to the top, which means being a Consultant. Yet the Consultant barely spends time with the patients. His junior doctors are the ones who do most of the patient assessments and then they feedback. The consultant gets to examine mainly the complex cases. I realised that as the physiotherapist, I got to spend good chunks of time with my patients… not just 2minutes here, or 5minutes there. My job allowed me spend time with my patients, hearing about their fears, their worries, their hopes, their past, they would sometimes tell me they have pain or feel dizzy on walking, things they at times would not tell the doctors, because they did want to bother them. It turns out that they needed to first build rapport and as the physiotherapist, while attempting to get them to walk 10metres and they needed to sit down for a rest after 2, 3, 5, metres, they got to feel that I was not rushing them, that I was not judging them for their inabilities, that I was their greatest cheer leader instead. Then they would open up and talk. I love that I can sit with my patient in the corridor and they tell me about the war, or their husband of 60years, or their determination to be able to continue to walk to the local shop to collect their groceries. I love my job. I am a physiotherapist who has specialised in working with older people. I realise it suits my personality. I like being on the go, but I like spending ‘plenty’ of time on things that require that. I will not schedule 20minutes for all my patients. The one who needs an hour, I will give one hour.

      So, my friend, please find a way to be in that space where you want to be, go volunteer at the vet’s or the park a couple of hours a week, on your day off if your job does not give you lots of free time, or offer to look after a neighbour’s pet(s) in the evenings, read up on the subject, etc. Things will get clearer as you go along. The worst that can happen is that you’ll discover that you like the thing or you dont and then you’ll be armed with more knowledge and wisdom.

      Blessings as you allow yourself to put your hand in the hand of The Master and take the plunge.

      • Tareesa on February 20, 2019 at 5:55 pm

        Thank you for sharing your story, Justine! I am feeling much more encouraged and I’m feeling like I have the freedom to explore and experiment with things where I am now. I definitely agree with you about not wanting to do nothing now and later dwell on regrets and “what could have been.” Perhaps I will just make a small move and volunteer somewhere now to get some clarity. Thank you again, and God bless you in your career! You sound like a great Physiotherapist!

  79. Dennis G. on November 12, 2018 at 9:17 am

    This an exceptionally good read! In my own current situation of trying to discern God’s will for my future in ministry or secular employment, I have said many times to friends and family members, “There seems to be a very fine line between faith and irresponsibility.” This article brings refreshing clarity to that paradox!! Thank you so much!

  80. Natasha L. on November 11, 2018 at 9:04 pm

    Thank you so much for this post. I made a decision to turn down a job(it was actually a great career move as I am currently a school counselor and it was a chance to pursue licensed therapy ), the problem was it was back in my hometown and I “felt” like I was going back into my comfort zone so after prayer, consulting people of wisdom, not to mention a short turn around time, I reluctantly said no! Let me tell you that I have not had much peace since I made that decision just not sure if I made the right choice. Did I mention that a few weeks after making the decision, my Mom, who lives back home, had a stroke. I am so torn and not sure where to go from here. I must admit that I have been wrestling with the fact of calling them back to see if they still have an opening. At the end of the day, I just want to be in God’s will. Thanks so much for letting me share.

    • Nathan on November 18, 2018 at 12:37 pm

      Natasha,

      I found myself in a very similar situation, whereas I was presented with a huge career opportunity that offered me more money than I have ever made in my life. However, I had just moved back home to help my folks in Chicago and the job was in NYC, and I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to turn it down. So I turned down the position, and though I sometimes look back and think maybe I should’ve just taken it (especially when I get down, or angry, and don’t have much money), I again am confronted by the Holy Spirit who assures me that all things are working together for my good, and that the season that I am in will be of discomfort, but it will produce the growth and maturity needed for what God has next in my life. If it was God who led you to turn down the position, don’t look back and reconsider, you turned it down for a reason. Seek him in the word and in prayer, and he will reveal what it is he has for you to do. Sometimes it’s not cookie cutter or direct, but it might be a choice that you have to define based on what life presents you. If you believe your place is to be home and support your mother, pray and seek God for guidance, but he may already be pulling you back home for a reason. Even if He hasn’t provided the career opportunity there yet, you may have to take the leap of faith and believe that he will. Pray, fast, seek, and he will reveal. God bless!

      • Natasha on November 18, 2018 at 5:43 pm

        Nathan. Thank you so much for those words of encouragement. God bless you as you continue to walk out your faith!

  81. Kim manfredi on October 22, 2018 at 10:01 pm

    I have recently had a family crisis that includes my own mother and others. Circumstances of speculation and misunderstandings have caused terrible upheaval. It all seemed to happen as my husband and I have finally drawn together to make God our focus. Initiating small groups at our home, changing our place of worship separate from where i grew up which has been a real tough issue of not being understood. The situation culminated into being accused of hurtful things by family. I agonized whether to finally voice how I felt and prayed and cried out to God and discussed with a mature Christian friend who is also a long time christian friend if my family too. I truly truly was convinced it was God leading me to write to my mother and tell her how hurt we felt. I doubted myself and was fearful I was acting out of hurt and pride yet heard many times God’s voice to do so. Today I found out my mother among others took my letter very negatively though I presented my feelings with nothing but honesty and admitting any hurt we may have caused . My hopes were to finally tell the truth how I felt which is not at all my norm. I feel so confused. I actually felt betrayed by God as awful as that sounds. But I only wanted to be truthful and have a new relationship that I really felt lead though afraid to do. Now I feel so confused. I’ve been even more misunderstood voicing my desires to be understood. I trusted God until the answer back was negative. How could I be so sure i did right then be so blind sided? I know how pride and hurt feelings can make a person act out and feel justified so i prayed to guard against that. I’m so afraid now to ever risk trying to be honest and think I should just keep quiet about being hurt and allow my family to be thought of in awful ways for peace sake..which is my normal way of dealing. I dont know how or what to trust.

    • Loret on October 23, 2018 at 9:53 am

      I had a similar situation. Go to God. He is a good defense attorney. Sometimes we mess it up by trying to do the right thing like communicating. Mostly its best to first do what God told the people at the Red Sea crossing. “Be still. Wait on Me. I will defend you.” And while you wait, pray and get in the Word and learn who God is even more than you know now. From this type of situation I was in, I learned to go to God before I make any move. I wait. I pray. I wait until I know what He wants me to do which may be nothing. Sometimes the waiting is short and sometimes it is long and sometimes in between. But I wait and let God defend me or prepare the way. When things go wrong our job is not to fix things but to let God fix them. We are to love God with all our heart, trust Him to take care of things and treat others well. Once I started doing this in my situation, it not only turned around but it healed and relationships are better than ever I could have hoped for. It did not happen over night. It took a couple of months to see the start and another half year to get back on track. While I was waiting, God showed me a bunch of stuff I needed to change in me. Those changes I made opened the way for reconciliation.

      PS we have never talked about it, resolved it, or tried for closure. We all just moved on. Maybe some day we will talk about it but know it isn’t necessary to “talk it out” for God to fix things. Let Him fix it how He sees fit. Trust Him always.

    • Jo K on October 25, 2018 at 2:17 am

      Sounds like God led you to speak the truth from the heart , and in love, and do what He asked you to do. Don’t make an assumption that acting on what God leads you to do, is going to lead to restoration of relationship or straight away. A lot of people are upset becuase you are not doing what everyone else expects of you and that may be why you are getting the backlash. Confrontation is the only way to peace. Either your family are going to respect how God is leading you, fight you for a while and come round, or reject you for it. Being honest and truthful leads us down the right path. Better to have a good conscience towards God and know you done the right thing, just don’t assume that doing the right thing means everything will go well for it, often times a lot of suffering is involved, but God will never forsake or leave you and in His time, you will see much fruit from being obedient to His following.

  82. William T. Spells Jr. on October 18, 2018 at 12:03 am

    Thank God for this article. I know what to do now. Stay on task and trust God, I have no doibt he is lrading me.
    Thank yoi

  83. Taunya on October 2, 2018 at 7:24 am

    I have been in childcare for the past 14 years. I have worked in almost every area, except management and for the past 5 years, I have been the cook. I went yo culinary for baking and pastry and love it but have 3 children to care for along with my husband. He is the breadwinner but I help with needs in the house too. I have always felt dissatisfied and undervalued in my line of work and desire more from myself and my income. As of right now, Im working a couple side jobs as well as working on starting up a dessert type business. I want to go full time for my part time jobs bc that is where my passion is. However, my husband doesn’t have the faith I have in God and looks at it as impulsive. Im respecting him and staying with my job but I cant help but wonder if I’m hurting and changing my destiny and true call God has on my life.

    • Alicia NYC on November 22, 2018 at 12:20 am

      Hi Taunya,
      I have a few pointers for what might work.
      1. A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So maybe, show case your bakery treats to your husband and maybe keep practicing and giving them to him.

      2. Have other people try it as well at work, friends and family. Then if they ask for more or if they have any birthdays coming up or Christmas in this instance, offer them an opportunity to sell your treats to them and save that money towards your baking. You don’t necessarily need a “brick and mortar” bakery. You can do it inside of your house. And look into food regulations and go with what God tells you to follow.

      3. Start REALLY showing him how serious you are. Market your brand, get an LLC before you even have the physical business. This stuff is easy. You could spend a good 3-5 hours a week on it and get a lot done with it. Make sure to do your homework.

      Kind regards,

      Alicia.

      PS let me know how things are going

  84. Amy Sparks on August 9, 2018 at 7:10 am

    My husband and I were called to be foster parents for a group home organization. Through prayer, we were less to make s leap of faith. Selling off a majority of possessions and move to Florida from Indiana. Many of our friends and family thought it was a bad idea and irratic. However, we felt the call. We knew what he wanted us to do. We did not let the outside world influence Gods purpose for us. I do believe we need to put ear plugs in our ears and seek Gods counsel. Those who do not understand faith, will not understand taking up our cross. Again, he has asked us to move and now we work for a christian organization for behavior modification for teenage boys. Wisdom told us we were comfortable and secure in our position where we were, faith told us comfort is not what God promises. His will is not comfortable. It is irrational, challenging, and not understood in this world. Fear and overthinking are tools from the devil and too often put a wall between Gods soldiers and his purpose for us. Prayer yes. Overthing and rarionalizing no!

  85. Coco on July 29, 2018 at 12:55 am

    I’m afraid to trust God regarding college. I believe he is calling me to a specific place ; moving out of state for college. However, this college is very expensive and my family is non supportive. I have been wanting to move to this specific state since I was a kid, I’m grown now. I believe God is attempting to get me to make the first step which is paying a $500 fee which will enable me to enroll in the school. HOWEVER, this is a huge risk because money is tight and I have no money to waste. But I will never know what God is calling me to do if I don’t step out on faith and pay this fee. I’m basically struggling with knowing that God will provide. In my head there’s nothing but “ what is” “ what if this goes wrong” I’m just so torn I have no idea what to do

    • Gen on September 18, 2018 at 5:44 pm

      Hello Coco,

      So it’s been a few weeks now. And most schools have already started. Did you pay the $500 fee? And what state is the school in? If you don’t mind my asking.

      I hope you made that step of faith. Just remember that God has you, He will not let you fall. He is right there should you stumble. Trust Him because He is faithful.

  86. Paul on July 20, 2018 at 5:02 am

    First of all, thanks for the passage, it somehow helped me a bit on what I’ve been through.

    I was asking for a specific opportunity in my work, I want it so bad, so I started praying right after I submitted my application. I prayed to Him to let me know His will on this, and if He doesn’t allow, I asked for Him to shut the door (not even having an interview).

    I waited and finally I got an interview. In the meantime, I experienced His presence when I was preparing the interviews, I got help from family and friends, I got encouraging news, I got comfort and hope and strength in His Words, and I prepared well. I performed satisfactorily in my interview. Every signs looked so promising, yet I didn’t get the opportunity at last.

    I don’t know why He led me to a failure. Of course I can say that His will should be the best, through this I can learn and I will be stronger than before. I believe in Him, I trust that His plan is always the best, but I cannot feel it. I feel disappointed, I am sad, I feel that everything is in vain. I don’t know why this has happened.

    How can I get out from this feeling?

    • Loret on July 20, 2018 at 5:58 am

      You get out of this feeling by 2 simple things YOU do: First give thanks. 1 Thes 5:18 says give thanks in ALL situations. So start thanking our Father for the opportunity to interview, for the boss to consider you, that you didn’t get the job, and whatever else you can think of thank Him. Second is faith. Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 28:11 He works all things to good and he has a plan for us. His eye is on us. You do these 2 things, which are an adjustment to your attitude, and you will see Him do or show you something. You may find out that job you wanted has some problem He is protecting you from. Or you may end up in a better job. Or He may need you right where you are in order to advance His kingdom in some way. Whatever it is, its because He has a BETTER plan for you. But it was not “in vain”. He does not do that to us. We do it to ourselves and not saying you did; just pointing out its us that fumbles, not Him. And just MAYBE, you were in that interview room because someone you work with is watching you to see if you put your Christian Money where your Christian Mouth is. Unbelievers pay strong attention to how we handle life’s disappointments. Finally, pray, and pray for your future, the immediate and distant. Pray in advance of everything so He can make way for you or change your mind because you are not following His plan for you. Abraham prayed before going to rescue Lot and came back with not only Lot but everyone and thing stolen from the city. Esther prayed and fasted before going to talk to the king and saved the nation of Israel. Nehemiah prayed and fasted before going to the king to ask to go to Jerusalem to rebuild the wall. The king gave him all he asked for: permission and letters for safe passage and timbers. Then, amazingly the king offered up his officers and calvary to protect Nehemiah on his journey. Nehemiah was a cup bearer. He brought the glass of wine to the table, that’s it. Do you think he would rank a full military escort? Absolutely not. He had God’s favor that’s why he got the king’s extraordinary favor. Jesus prayed and fasted 40 days in the desert before starting his ministry and then in Gethsemane before going to the cross. And because of this, the Son of God did amazing and wonderful things and publicly humiliated Satan when He triumphantly defeated death. Great things happen when we use extraordinary and strategic prayer, based on scripture (use scripture to pray and you will be praying in line with His will). I hope this helps.

  87. Lisa on June 12, 2018 at 7:09 am

    My husband and I have developed a camp for under served youth ages 7-12. One in which we take them for a week at a high adventure retreat center, love on them, and share Jesus with them. I didn’t feel this calling initially, my husband did, but I eventually came around and supported him and this calling. (We are in our mid-50’s). We have worked HARD this past year raising money to fund these kids completely, pay for counselors, pay for the camp and come up with teaching material, etc., etc., etc. Long story short, we have worked 100’s of hours, donated a lot of our own money as well, and now that camp is just a few days away, we only have 5 kids committed – not to disregard 5 kids, for I know that each and every one are very important; however, this makes me really wonder if this was a calling or just our idea. Our small church has supported us and has made this their summer mission project. I feel defeated and a failure, and am embarrassed as well, to be very honest. How do I really know this camp is God’s calling and if it is, why have more kids committed? I’m just confused and searching……..thank you.

    • Loret on June 26, 2018 at 11:44 am

      Maybe God is starting you off with 5 kids because he knows that is what you can handle, right now. I’m not saying He will never give you more than 5 nor do I know if you are going His correct path but I feel it is too soon to throw in the towel. He has provided up to now. I suggest you focus on giving thanks for all you have at this moment and praise Him exuberantly for the 5 kids. Make it an opportunity to learn more about the whole project and learning to trust Him more, who loves you. Look to Him for what He is going to teach you and focus on doing a really great job with the 5. When we are faithful with what He gives us, faithful to give thanks, keep our eyes on Him, follow His ways, He says He promises to give us the desires of our hearts. Psalm 37

  88. Kulani on May 21, 2018 at 4:10 pm

    saints, i guess its about time i make a life changing decisions and will appreciate your unconditioned inputs. Faith vs wisdom. I am approaching 40 and would like to have kids. The problem is, despite years of sleepless nights of prayer for God to release a husband for me (i’ve started praying in my early twenties) i am still single. Now there is a married man at work who is offering to impregnate me, in a way help me to have at least one child. Now given the number of years of faith that to this day yielded no results except lesson that what i want may not happen, will it be fear or wisdom if i take up on this man’s offer? Thing is, if i don’t i may not be able to have kids after 40, even if i can, who really want to have kids at 50 ?

    • Ms. J on June 7, 2018 at 4:37 pm

      Kulani, I wouldn’t get ahead of God. Have you thought about the other side of the equations – 1) Impact of getting pregnant by a married man. Revisit the Hagar, Sarai, Abraham biblical story and study the outcome and consequences. 2) Have you considered that God has reason for delaying or denying you a child and/or husband? 3) What if you only had two more years on earth, would you desire to conceive? 4) What if there is something lurking in your body that could deform the child or risk life if you got pregnant? I had a single friend who wanted a child so bad. She got pregnant numerous times and had several miscarriages. Eventually, she had a child with a man that she was not married to. My friend ended up dying when her child was only five-years-old. The Lord knows what He is doing and we have to trust Him and His will, especially when we aren’t clear or understand. We have to be careful to not go against, get ahead or lag too far behind His will. We have no idea what He has planned for us and we do not want to derail our intended path by allowing our own wants and desires to supersede God’s plans. Things just might not turn out the way you/we anticipate, hope, believe, wish or desire. I’m not trying to scare you or crush your dream of motherhood. However, my prayer is that you wait on the Lord and be content with where you are until the Lord grants you the desires of your heart. If He doesn’t give you a husband and child, in that order, then let it be okay. Seek other ways to be fulfilled.

      • Loret on July 20, 2018 at 6:05 am

        Kulani, I hope you did not go ahead with getting pregnant. Ms J gave wise advice. I would ad you need to read Psalm 37:3-7 and do it. Come back sometime and tell us how you make out.

        • Kulani on July 20, 2018 at 9:55 am

          I wonder if this was meant for me as well or directed to the Isralites because i have read it in my teenage years, in my early thirties and nothing has changed todate.Doig it again would be insanity!

      • Kulani on July 20, 2018 at 9:52 am

        This is deppressing indeed.The thought of being single yet another day makes me cringe. I cant begin to imagine being single all my life. That would kill me and the longing and yearning is a sign that im complete according to God’s standards of a complete being. Now If God expected me o be alone, why would he not spare me the desire to have a mate coupled with that of having sex.
        What other ways can i seek that will substitute the desire to have a spouse and kids. I do have friends, i have my 7 year old nephew who i adore and treat as my own. He even knows me to be his mommy and calls me mommy but all these doesnt substitute the need and longingness to have my owm kids and to have someone to love and be loved, be caressed, be commforted and be made to feel like a woman that i am.I havent been able to carry out my mission of having a child with a married man, due to fear of all the things that you mentioned above. But perhaps fear is what i need to overcome.
        if god knows that i will die early, he might as well spare me the misery that i have and just let me go. If he knows that i am prone to disbaled kids, why cant he heal me? denying me without a known reason is unfair and confusing. Anyway you are nt gods so venting out to you is rather unfair, so ill stop here. Its Friday evening, im dragging my feet to ba along all weekend, yet again!

        • Loret on July 20, 2018 at 10:08 am

          Kulani, You are focused on what you DON’t have. God isn’t going to give you a thing until you focus on Him. He will not reward complaining or ungratefulness. I do understand your frustration and pain. I’ve been right where you are now. You do it HIS WAY and He will either give you the desires you now have in your heart or will take this away and give you something better. Either way, you will be happy and not sad, anymore. So start by giving thanks you don’t have a husband and kids. 1 Thes 5:18 Know that ALL things He does or doesn’t do is for our good. Romans 8:28, Believe He has a plan for you; a great and awesome plan to prosper you. Jeremiah 28:11

          Psalm 37:3 Trust in the Lord and do good;
          dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
          4 Take delight in the Lord,
          and he will give you the desires of your heart.

          Yes this is a great place to vent because other believers can give you insight into how God works. And I hope you didn’t take that man up on his offer. All he wanted was a piece of you know what. He didn’t and doesn’t care about you. Really, who wants someone like that for half the DNA of their kid?

          • Lori on September 14, 2018 at 7:52 pm

            Dear Kulani
            I feel a bit of your pain although no two people walk the same road. I too am single and for the life of me I have no idea why God has not answered my prayers. I do agree with the other people who have cautioned you to avoid having a child with a married man as there are too many complications that you would be bringing into your life that you just do not need. However I was sad to see that the community used scare tactics to bring about your obedience in the form of “what if”s’ like dying young leaving a 5 year old to fend for itself or the possibility that you may only have 2 years to live …sheesh really? I hear too many “tsks” and not a lot of love and compassion when I read that people who don’t even know you are also accusing you of being a complainer or ungrateful” Slow the horses down Loret!!! God doesn’t need HR people who performance manage other folks on websites – well not the last time I looked..I also don’t believe that one married person on this site had all their spiritual stuff together as a prerequisite for marriage. In short, there is nothing wrong with you Kulani! You haven’t blown it along the way. Open your heart and let God know how you feel – frustrations and all. He can take it and will honour you for your honesty and authenticity. Praying for you now sister!



    • Becca on February 18, 2019 at 11:25 pm

      I understand being sad about not being married family I feel same. But it is not God’s will to commit adultury. It is not God’s will to create a child outside marriage single motherhood is tough!

      If you are called to motherhood you May pray about adopting a child who has no one. That potential action would be potentially pleasing to the Lord. But only if you are prepared.

      • Becca on February 18, 2019 at 11:29 pm

        I got to say this how is having a child with a married man going to give you a spouse. And I must say to being a single parent won’t make you attractive to some men.

        They would prefer someone with no kids. You might lose a great potential spouse due to your rushing things. It is hard if really is. Right now I am trying to use this time to develop my career some to potentially have a family.

  89. Matt on December 23, 2017 at 3:39 pm

    I’m debating on whether or not to resign from a full time career to pursue working in ministry alongside my father who has been a full time pastor for 40 years. Our relationship has been one that has been rocky yet workable when it comes to Kingdom building. My father is quite old school and I’m fairly new school in our approach to ministry. In the past my father has vocalized retirement in the next few years and would like to pass the ministry over to a trustworthy individual. While I would like to think I fit the mold I’m a little hesitant to full make the bold step to resign from my full time employment to show him that I really want to serve in a full time ministry role. I’m currently a teacher/coach in a nearby suburban town. I’m married with 4 beautiful growing children. My hesitation comes from already resigning from a full time position once before in hopes of being hired full time at the church only to be denied bc I was also running a startup nonprofit at the time; and my father said my time would be divided bw church work and my nonprofit. Well it’s been 2.5 years since that occurrence happened,
    And I no longer have the nonprofit organization.. looking back on it I kind of understand his point now that I’m a little more realistic about the task of being a full time pastor. But like you said I’m a lot more conservative also because I’ve made a good living and it took a lot of hard work for me to accrue the things I have today, and I’m just wrestling with the idea of resigning once again. My heart is no longer at my current employer. My heart is at my home church where my father is pastoring, and I want to do full time ministry. I’m 36 years old. I’ve been fortunate to attend/graduate seminary as well. Blessings. MJ

    • Kelvin on April 25, 2018 at 10:42 am

      Follow your heart and what will make you happy my friend.

      • Carly on June 23, 2018 at 12:31 pm

        Kelvin, the heart is deceitful above all things who can know it?

  90. Gail on November 19, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    Hi. I asked Father, yet again, to encourage me along this painful road I’m on.
    I trust my Lord. He is so wonderfully faithful to me. I still have to endure, but He is always with me, just as He promised
    18 months ago, I asked Father something.
    “Lord, please bring my sons and their families into the Kingdom. Whatever it takes.”
    Within a week, one of my sons had verbally attacked me, accusing me of many things. I was ill for days as a result. He also said he wouldn’t bring my grandchildren round til everything was sorted.
    I tearfully asked Father why it had happened.

    “Remember you said, whatever it takes ?
    Well this is what it takes.”

    Time after time, I asked Father what I should do. Should I say anything or do anything ?

    “Be still and know that I Am God.”

    One day, I trif another question.

    Can I write a letter ?

    Again I heard the same scripture verse.
    I went to read it once more.
    Unusually, I picked up a different bible.

    “Stand silent. Be still and know that I Am God.”

    My heart feels as if it has been broken, time after time, day after day. I have cried and wailed and sobbed my grief and heartache to Father. At times, I have grieved to the point of drowning. I have cried out to my Lord and He has reached down and rescued me from the depths again and again.
    He has promised to bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth. He has shown me signs in the sky to encourage me to look east.
    He has brought one son home.
    I am waiting for the other.
    The son with my six grandchildren.
    I miss them more than words can say.
    I was so close to them and they to me.
    My heart aches with loss.
    But, my Lord has promised to restore.
    I could listen to well meaning friends and fight for a grandmothers rights, but that isn’t what Father told me to do.
    I either trust Him or not.
    My Father will not fail me.
    His Word is Truth. X

    • emily on December 6, 2017 at 11:48 am

      Your prayers are not Christian. You are praying for personal selfish gain without respecting the choices of your children. Shame on you for believing the Lord will force them back to you.

      • Jenn on January 31, 2018 at 10:18 pm

        Yikes Emily!? Friend, balance between Truth and Grace not condemnation and shame…..

  91. Michelle on October 12, 2017 at 2:15 am

    I’m a little late to this the party but the information presented is so relevant that felt compelled to comment.

    I think it’s safe to say that we all want to trust God. We love Him and want to please Him. That being said I find myself struggling with, what I refer to as, a secondary trust issue – second guessing your decision.

    I ask myself, “did I really hear from God?” Especially when neither of the options are risk-free. I am in the throes of making such a decision and it is so very hard. I don’t want to miss God but neither do I want to make yet another catastrophic mistake.

    I struggle with trusting the prompting the first time. I realized that I had developed the need to be continually reassured and, until recently, God has been gracious (and patient) enough to guide me gently. Our struggles increase as we move into a mature relationship with Him and the layers of gentle protection are stripped away, sometimes painfully.

    In the past, God would reassure me multiple times. Young children crave reassurance from their parents. It builds their confidence and strengthens the relationship.

    But, there always comes a time of maturing. A time when parents expect their children to do as they are asked the first time. God is our Father. He expects us to move when He says move and to stop when He says stop.

    My challenge is tuning into that still, small voice when it’s so faint that you begin to wonder if you actually heard from Him at all. You begin to wonder if if wasn’t just you racing out ahead of God and trying make things happen.

    I struggle when the choice to move and the choice to stay are both fraught with peril. Do I stay at the stable, dead-end, low-wage job with great benefits? Or do I accept a position that pays more and has growth potential but has really horrible benefits? As the unexpected bread-winner, this decision affects my entire family.

    I believe that God has opened this particular door for a very specific reason but I have made so many bad decisions over the past five years, that I am terrified of making a mistake.

    If I play it safe and stay put, we won’t survive. We are short $1000/month in living expenses and we are sinking fast. The upside is the fact that the benefits are fantastic. The monthly cost is minimal and the zero deductible is a blessing. With both a diabetic and a cardiac patient in the household, having access to doctors without being forced to meet a prohibitively-high deductible is a big deal.

    The new position is awesome. The salary increase would meet our family’s budget deficit but the benefits are costly. Too costly to be comfortable. The premiums are almost four times as much and the high deductible makes the policy unusable to routine visits. I won’t be able to participate in their health plan.

    Neither of my choices are ideal. Stay and face homelessness or move and keep a roof over our heads.

    Stay and maintain affordable access to doctors or move and expose my family to sub-par emergency-only care at the local walk-in clinic.

    Stay and miss God? or move and miss God? Did I hear clearly or is my desperation drowning out His still, small voice? In the past, I’ve made decisions quickly. Confident that God would work all things out for my good even if I made a mistake.

    Neither of my choices allow me to protect my family. I’m merely trading one problem for another. Seemingly.

    This week, I signed my acceptance letter, turned In my notice and had an anxiety-driven fight with my husband. I’m fighting three stress-induced styes and a bout of insomnia but I’m stepping out. I’m so scared.

    I want God’s reassurance that I’m doing the right thing. I want Him to comfort me and make it alright. To make the decision easy. Am I focusing on the money when I should be focusing on medical provisions? Or Am I offending Him by not being grateful for the opportunity to earn more and pay rent next month?

    I love God. I want to please Him but I don’t want to grow up. I miss the reassurances. I miss the indulgence. Growing up is hard. Too hard some days. I want to give up but I can’t.

    I love God so I will move. I believe that this decision, while agonizing, has been orchestrated for my good. I will move and I will trust.

  92. Jon Perrin on April 11, 2017 at 11:17 pm

    I just re-read this. GREAT STUFF! And you’re absolutely right: Once you’ve got some successes under your belt it’s often difficult to take risks that may result in failure, which could lead to a loss of influence. The more you have to lose, the harder it is to risk it all. But God calls us to take radical risks for Him. These require faith.

    In answer to your question, we’re sensing another season of radical risk-taking rapidly approaching. We’ve taken some crazy risks for God in the past. They have always paid off richly, even if it looked like it would end up as a colossal failure at the time. I believe it’s time to do so again. I would rather fail attempting something big for God than succeed at something that lacks Kingdom impact.

    Mark Batterson often says, “The goal of life is not to arrive safely at death.” My prayer lately has been, “God, invite me to get out of the boat again and come to you on the water.” The greater the risk, the greater the potential reward!

  93. Gee Alexander on April 8, 2017 at 5:15 pm

    Had our RED SEA MOMENTS..
    FINDING OUT..
    IF GOD SAID IT…WE FOLLOW HIS INSTRUCTIONS…WE WON’T REGRET IT. PROVING TO OTHERS HIS FAITHFULNESS, ????

  94. Daniel S. Syme on April 2, 2017 at 7:14 pm

    I’ve learned to pray James 1:5.

  95. jason bohac on April 1, 2017 at 7:42 am

    Great article! It’s tough to leave the known, comfortable, secure, and predictable (aka the boat) to follow Jesus into the unknown.

  96. Bill Hamilton on February 22, 2015 at 2:52 am

    Great insights Carey, coming at a tume when our leadership is asking this same question. Thanks for asking great questions that resonate so broadly and connect so richly.

  97. Haydn Nelson on February 20, 2015 at 6:56 pm

    Such a helpful and insightful post as always, Carey – really appreciated. In leadership we so often need to embrace that tension of due diligence (so that a decision is not reckless, careless or irresponsible) and definite dependence (so that a decision really does place us in a position of reliance on God – always a good place to be). Thanks again from a brother half-a-world away. Blessings on you amd your continuing ministry, Haydn Nelson (Riverview Church, Perth, Western Australia).

    • Carey Nieuwhof on February 20, 2015 at 7:32 pm

      Haydn..so great to hear from you! Thanks. Thinking I might be back at conferences in the great nation of Australia in February 2016. Hope it works out and that I get to see you there!

  98. angeb68 on January 29, 2015 at 2:28 am

    Carey, this is a great article and it stated some aspects of faith I never thought about before. I am currently making a stuff decision and it is not to move with my husband to another state. Reasons being: 1. The uncertainty…I have never been to the state where he wants to move and to me, it is the worst state in the US for African Americans; therefore, I am inclined to not follow him. 2. I have come to my end with his verbal abuse, taking me for granted, the implication that if I don’t act like he thinks I should as his wife he will/can always walk away to be with another fine woman…I am tired of a being made to feel inadequate and just plain not good enough. 3. Moving nearly 1,000 miles away from my family to where I have no family members to help me or my daughter if we ever got into trouble. This just doesn’t set well with me at all. Most if my life I have been taught that a wife goes where her husband goes no matter what…God wants marriages to stay together. We have a nearly 4 year child together and she’s crazy about her Dad. I don’t want to hurt her because I didn’t follow her father to another state, but I am also tired of being miserable and unhappy in my marriage. I don’t see my husband changing as I have expressed to him how I feel about his verbal abuse many times and the way he makes me feel. I think his claims of being willing to change is just to try to get me to follow him just so he doesn’t lose contact with his daughter. Me, I don’t personally think he’s too concerned about. Maybe I’m being a selfish and foolish wife and I’m simply not trusting God enough.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on January 29, 2015 at 5:35 am

      Ange…oh my. This is a really difficult situation. I am SO sorry to hear about it. Do you have someone local you can talk to? Maybe a trained Christian counsellor or even a family doctor? I think you need some great people around you right now both in terms of providing safety in a tough marriage but also in terms of discerning what a faithful next step for you is. I have a few stories on my podcast from church leaders who have had terribly difficult marriages and recovered from them. You can listen to Craig Jutila’s story at http://www.careynieuwhof.com/episode5 and in a few weeks, I’ll be featuring Justin and Trisha’s Davis story at careynieuwhof.com/episode22 (Note…that link won’t be live until February 10th 2015). Hope this helps. Praying for you.

      • angeb68 on January 29, 2015 at 9:49 am

        Hi Carey,

        Thank you for you prompt reply. My husband is a pastor and will not submit to counseling because he doesn’t want anyone in our business and according to him he teaches this stuff. All I know to do is do as you suggested and surround myself with people who have gone through this similar experience and work through it. I am still reluctant to relocate and now I am having difficulty believing what he says. Thank you for the suggestions.

        • Carey Nieuwhof on January 29, 2015 at 7:53 pm

          Quite literally Ange, God bless you.

          • Emmbe on September 30, 2018 at 7:58 pm

            Wow I know this is old but I have a opposite yet directly related circumstance that this article made me think of before even stumbling on this comment.

            My marriage has crumbled beyond what most think it’s repairable, divorce and all. At the very beginning and throughout over a DECADE of waiting, I kept feeling like God has called me to hold on for marriage restoration, yes even after the divorce. I wear my rings, I stay single and while I did fall early on, I have stayed faithful to him since the divorce. Anyways, he’s now moved 1000 miles away, and asked me to make the move so he can be closer to us – not committing to a relationship – but still wanting his children and myself near him.

            I heard God tell me to GO even before he moved, even before he told me he was moving. But Im scared of moving away from where I’ve made a home but God showed me that following Christ was often met with leaving everything behind, that’s where I am about to face head on, relocating to keep my kids closer to their father who I also still pray for reconciling with while leaving friends, family and even much material items behind!

            I feel crazy, but I also feel God is asking this of me and I’m both terrified and excited. I haven’t made the move yet or even the calls, notices, paperwork and all that’s required to make it happen but I believe in my heart know what needs to be done, it feels both foolish and Faith filled. Am I crazy? Possibly! But if I don’t do this it would be because fear held me back and I can’t “play it safe” and also act on my faith at the same time. Please pray for me and our family. Thank you!!



  99. J on January 22, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    This is great. I am leaving active duty military to go to Bible college as I follow the path God has put on my heart for pastoral ministry. I am nervous but not a bit hesitant. I know my transition will be a kingdom victory even though I can’t see it in myself. As a husband and father, finances are a thought that crosses my mind but I pray and know that God will provide for my family when I don’t necessarily know where my “next check” is coming from. I almost didn’t share but I feel God wants someone to know.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on January 22, 2015 at 7:47 pm

      So glad you shared this…and what a great faith story. Way to go!

  100. Eener on January 20, 2015 at 7:01 am

    Love the articles Carey writes. However, so many hyperlinks in each article. At the end of reading one article, I have 10-12 other tabs opens to read.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on January 20, 2015 at 7:53 am

      Glad it’s helpful in the end. Sometimes I go too crazy on the hyperlinks…I just know for those who want more I had explained things more fully elsewhere.

  101. jpouellette on December 18, 2014 at 7:52 pm

    A friend shared this article with me after I dumped my anxieties over the past year on her. I recently left a part-time job that was paying a full-time salary to go full-time into peaceful dispute resolution. The new job has a very small base pay and a history of not being able to make paychecks on time. I was given a commission arrangement that was limitless in the amount of money I could make if I was able to do something very few people have ever done. Build a mediation practice. I knew this was God’s call on my life and I have a history of doing crazy things when God calls me to- and testimony after testimony of things working out better than anyone had ever hoped. So now, with a wife and four children, I jump into this abyss of potential- potential success, and potential poverty. I decided a long time ago, that I wouldn’t make decisions based on money, but on what God is calling me to do. It’s His universe, if he wanted me to make a million painting rocks, that’s what would happen. The moment I forget to “Seek first the Kingdom of God” for the sake of getting wise business and marketing strategies, I feel the pressure of the world and start to cave. When I fix my heart on His purposes, take all that strategic energy into my prayer life and submit it ALL to Him, crazy things happen. To the degree that I can describe to God what kind of client I need, and hours later the phone rings. Prayer and crazy obedience is what has gotten me where I’ve been and where I am. Keeping my focus on His kingdom- using every business meeting, phone call, client interaction, speaking engagement, etc as an opportunity to overcome the kingdom of darkness with light- keeps me motivated and equipped to continue this journey.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on December 18, 2014 at 8:21 pm

      That’s a pretty amazing story and perspective. Thank you so much for sharing…and thanks be to God for his faithfulness.

  102. T on November 12, 2014 at 10:28 am

    Carey, thanks for this post. I need to make a decision about my career. I enjoy what I do, I’m using the gifts God has given me, and I believe/know that God is being glorified through the work…but I also don’t make enough money to support my family. I’ve started the process of a career shift to something I still think I would enjoy, but am not sure how/if I’d be using the gifts God has given me. My wife and I have prayed for God’s will every step of the way. Every door has been open over the past 1.5 years as we move in this new direction. But despite all the open doors, I am still hesitant. Part of me feels that I’d be walking away from a career that I enjoy and where I’m using my God-given talents, and that seems wrong… But the other part of me looks at my family and all the open doors, and that tells me I need to make a move. I’m torn. I want to use my gifts to glorify God, but money also comes into play. Realizing that you don’t know the entire situation Carey (or anyone else), I’d still value your thoughts. Thanks 🙂

    • Carey Nieuwhof on November 12, 2014 at 7:49 pm

      T…that’s a big decision. I think the fit issue is significant. When you don’t feel like you belong or believe, you either need to treat that situation as a ministry, or you realize it’s a place where your gifts just don’t work. I think you really need to pay attention to that and have the courage to act on your conclusion either way, The status quo is a trap…so I would suggest either engage or leave. That’s my thoughts without knowing any more.

  103. TWhite on November 12, 2014 at 8:18 am

    I am struggling with a decision to stay or go. I have been raised for the most part in one denomination my whole life. It was in that denomination that I was called to preach and am now ordained clergy. I am a third generation preacher of thos denomination. I have had a fast track “career” and have quickly been promoted through the ranks of denomination but I absolutely feel I do not fit in anywhere and largely disagree with many of our beliefs. I have prayed for quite some time if I am called away but have received no definitive answer. And I have made no decision because I also have no answer on where I would go. And I must admit a lot of this is clothes in fear because I would be leaving what I have always known and people who have basically raised me in the church and I am afraid of making the wrong decision. I am and a major crossroads.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on November 12, 2014 at 7:45 pm

      That’s a big moment T….I’m praying for you.

  104. Dylan Baker on November 12, 2014 at 1:51 am

    I was going to put on a concert at my church that I was going to at the time and honestly did not feel good about it but went for it any way. Well the artist musician could not come i believe he had a wedding to go to, and I think my church had a clean up day the day that the concert would have been put on. So God helped me out and shut the door for me, and it was not the end of the world and at the least I tried!

    • Carey Nieuwhof on November 12, 2014 at 7:44 pm

      Sometimes the choice is made for us, isn’t it?

  105. Amy Kinney on November 11, 2014 at 9:51 pm

    It might seem small to some of you who are more seasoned, but I am sharing a message Sunday (as a lay person). I know that I know what God has laid on my heart to share, but contrary to what is usual for me I cannot seem to get it down on paper. It’s clear as a bell when I am praying and when I think about,,,,God is clearly present, but when I try to write it down it comes out all wrong. There is part of me that says……trust God, Hes got this, and the academic part of me saying are you crazy??? Get something written down!!! I have shared messages before and God has always given me a beautiful writing to go along with it…..is this His way of telling me to step out of my box and rely more on Him…..to teach me more about relying on the Holy Spirit? I simply don’t know……..

    • Carey Nieuwhof on November 12, 2014 at 7:44 pm

      Amy so glad you shared this. This is a tough one. One thing I believe is that the Holy Spirit is present in preparation as well as in delivery. So whenever I can, I prepare as much as I can, including notes. That helps me stay focused. I wish you well on Sunday!

  106. tmarsh0307 on November 11, 2014 at 9:31 am

    I echo Charlene. Our church is getting ready to bring a proposed Children and youth education space before the church, of which there is considerable division. These are some important thoughts we need to consider as a church. Thank you!

  107. Charlene on November 10, 2014 at 10:11 am

    This couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I have a lease for a new venture beside me right now and I’m about to sign. In a matter of weeks I will embark on a dream I’ve held since childhood. And it’s terrifying. As a dream, it’s always there as the comforting thought when times are troubled; “the one day when…” method of coping. Once is moves from perfect dream to imperfect reality I can’t simply imagine the outcomes, I must live it. It’s exciting, truly exciting and scary for all the reasons you listed here. But at the same time my heart says “let’s go!”.

    Thank you Carey for once again helping me through your timely writings that I know come from God.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on November 10, 2014 at 10:35 am

      So glad Charlene! Go for it…in faith! Whatever that means. 🙂

  108. C on November 10, 2014 at 9:28 am

    This is something I have been thinking about in this season, so I have a lot of thoughts and questions about this. These are ideas that I am exploring and I am not arguing just wondering…
    Is money the only example of living by faith?
    Re:Q2-Is hurting people a good way to base decisions? As leaders, there are many decisions that are made that will offend and “hurt” those we serve. And Jesus had no problem changing the whole order of things, hurting some in the process.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on November 10, 2014 at 10:34 am

      C…thanks. I actually asked that question because I realized my post was a bit financially weighted. That said, in my experience, financial decision are the hardest to trust God with. People are often quite hesitant to trust God with the financial implications of their faith or leadership, whether that means receiving more or receiving less money. And, to be sure, almost every decision we make has financial implications, whether it’s primarily financially driven or not. So I left the post the way it is.

    • Branden Fitzgerald on November 29, 2015 at 9:33 pm

      Hurting people doesn’t necessarily mean you’re making a good decision but just because people are getting hurt in the process doesn’t make it a bad one either. As mentioned above you can make a wise/risky decision but either could be God’s will. Let’s say for example; A pastor gets called to leave his position and step down. Now some of the church members are hurt by this and don’t want the pastor to leave his position. So the pastor has to make a decision? Does he listen to the voice of God or does he continue to stay knowing that God has something else planned? If he stays as pastor he might be pleasing some of the members but God is going to tug on his heart and say “Why haven’t you stepped down? I have a new season.” Does he please the congregation? Or should he have listened to God? What I’ve noticed is that if he steps down as pastor there will be some church members that are hurt. However if he stays he hurts himself. Either way you look at it someone is going to get hurt. We are called according to His purpose. The people around you may not understand. However it should always be “Thy will be done” and not “My will be done.” If you hurt people pray that God may give them understanding. They might not get why you made the decision but in your heart if God tells you to let go then it’s time to turn the page and move forward.

Leave a Comment





This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Copy link