How To Know Whether You’re Trusting God…or Just Being Stupid


One of the most perplexing questions a Christian and, to be sure, a Christian leader will face when it comes to risk is this:

Am I trusting God, or am I simply being foolish?

The question isn’t as dumb as it seems.

There’s a fine line between faith and irresponsibility, and at times it’s almost impossible to see.

You know that big leadership risk you’re thinking about?

your new role

the massively daunting project

the big mission trip

that new campus

your start up

hiring a team

a new facility

the big move?

So…is it a step of faith, or is it just stupid?

Is it trust…or is it irresponsibility?

How would you know?

Real Risk Lives on the Edge of Spectacular

Recently I had a call from a pastor friend who wanted to get his church out of a portable situation and into a new facility.

We had talked about the move several times, and on this particular day, he was down to the wire. His church had given at unbelievably sacrificial levels, but he was still at least 6 figures short of his goal. Yet they had a building deal in front of them that they could move on now before costs escalated beyond what they could afford.

He asked me what I thought. I asked more questions. The answers really didn’t help me get much clarity at all, despite my friend’s best intentions.

I asked him what other wise people he and I both knew were saying. He said everyone thought it was pushing the known limits.

I said I tended to agree.

We talked some more.

So what advice did I end up giving him?

I told him:

I think this will be spectacular. It will either be spectacularly wonderful or a spectacular failure. And I don’t know which.

That’s quite literally what I told him. (Bet you don’t want to call me for advice anymore….)

But that was the truth. I just didn’t know which. I told him I’d be watching with prayerful anticipation, which I did.

So what did my friend do?

He put out one last call for giving and people…responded.

They signed the deal. And I saw his amazing new facility that’s nearing completion.

I’m glad I kept my mouth shut. He was right. It looks like it was a spectacularly great decision for his congregation and all those they’ll reach in the coming years.

The Bible Sometimes Makes Things…Complicated

Ever really read the Bible?

So when you read it…what do you see? Faith or foolishness?

What was Abraham thinking when we set out with his entire family to go to a land he’d never been to, risking everything for a voice he thought he’d heard?

Who was Moses to think he could stand up to the most powerful king in the land, or to even attempt it after he had so much doubt about his calling?

The prophets were….not very typical suburban people. Ezekiel lay on his side for 390 days, eating a specific diet cooked over excrement and played with a scale model of Jerusalem to show its pending destruction…wow!)

Imagine how Daniel felt being thrown into the lion’s den. Had he lived his life faithfully, or foolishly? He was about to find out.

Would you have advised your kids to do what Peter, James, and John did, leaving it all (including you, mom and dad!) to follow a man that had just burst onto the scene and some are starting to think is God?

How about Paul, who went from place to place, prison to prison, painfully misunderstood but absolutely committed to proclaiming this Jesus so many people rejected?

We say we want our kids to lead faithful lives, but do we even have a clue what that means?

None of our biblical heroes were exactly on the top college/stunning career track.

If you were advising any of these biblical figures, what would you have told them to do?

What is a Godly decision?

Is it always wise, prudent, restrained, responsible?
Or is it always risky, edgy, out-there, half-crazed?
Or neither?
Or both?

That’s a tough one, isn’t it?

Two Helpful Questions

For the record, I don’t believe there’s an easy way, five-step, bulletproof way to resolve the tension between faith and foolishness.

Pivotal decision-making should be navigated through prayer, through pouring over scripture (prayer and scripture should always be married), and through seeking the advice of trusted, Christian mature people around you (click here for how to develop an inner circle like that). But sometimes that even lands in a place of uncertainty.

Here are two questions I’ve started asking myself to help when things aren’t clear:

1. Is ‘wisdom’ killing my trust in God?

2. Does my ‘trust’ in God disregard all wisdom?

Q 1:  Wisdom Killing My Trust?

I think the first question—is wisdom killing my trust in God—is more disturbing for me.

I’ve led for 20+ years and learned a lot of lessons. I’m wiser than I was decades ago (hopefully that’s true for all of us who have led for a while).

And that can lead me to choose what I know, can see, and can predict without honestly going for broke and trusting God wholeheartedly.

Moreover, the more successful you become—the more money you have, the more people you’ve reached, the more influence you have—the more conservative you tend to become. I’m not talking politics here, I’m simply saying you tend to not want to lose what you’ve got, so you naturally conserve more and risk less.

You know what’s underneath that? Fear.

Fear is clever. And fear can hide behind wisdom.

You can get to a certain season in leadership in which you no longer want to take risks in the name of being ‘wise’, ‘prudent’ or ‘responsible’.

But the truth is you don’t want to rock the boat. If you examined your motives, you’d be honest and say you don’t want to lose what you’ve already gained. You simply don’t want to sacrifice what is for the sake of what could be.

You’d be forced to admit that having wisdom is more comforting than trusting.

And you’ve allowed ‘wisdom’ to become a substitute for trust.

And that’s bad.

That’s why young leaders are often better risk takers than seasoned leaders—they have less to lose so they risk more.

And that can lead some leaders to stop trusting God because ‘risk’ looks unwise.

When was the last time you had to trust God for the outcome of something? I mean really trust God?

If you can’t remember, it might be a sign you’ve let wisdom kill your trust in God.

Q 2: Does My Trust in God Disregard All Wisdom?

The opposite, of course, can also be true. You have so much faith that you’re…well, reckless.

What people claim to be ‘trust’ can easily be:

their ego
their insecurity
a cruel disregard for other people
deep disobedience

Just because you label it ‘faithful’ doesn’t mean it’s faithful.

If you are disregarding wisdom entirely and likely to hurt a bunch of people you’re likely not being faithful.

Trust still looks like Jesus…and it should have outcomes consistent with his character and with scripture.

If your decision makes you and the people you lead look nothing like Christ, it’s not from Christ.

The Final Call

So…you can go through all of these steps and still not be clear. You knew that, didn’t you?

So what happens if all of this (prayer, scripture, wise counsel, and questions like the two questions above) doesn’t lead you to a conclusion?

Here’s what I do.

I just make a decision. So should you.

So many dreams have died because people were terrified to make the wrong decision. Don’t be.

Whatever decision you make, offer it up in faith. Make it faith. Dedicate the decision and the outcome to God, like Paul suggests in Romans 14:23.

A prayer like that can sound something like this:

God, I’m doing this (or not doing this) because I trust you. If it’s wrong, I trust you will show me. If it’s right, I trust you will show me. I’m trusting you with the outcome.

Then go for it. With confidence and faith. Don’t hold back.

For as Augustine said:

Love God and do whatever you please: for the soul trained in love to God will do nothing to offend the One who is Beloved.

So…what do you think?

What are you learning?

What would you add to this discussion?

And maybe even tell me what big decision you’re weighing right now.

Scroll down and leave a comment!

How To Know Whether You’re Trusting God…or Just Being Stupid


  1. Ray on September 25, 2021 at 4:00 am

    Christian Ice Cream

    Like ice cream, we’re all different flavors of being Christian; we’re all good, but some are better than others and we’re all forgiven by God!

    • James on September 30, 2021 at 6:41 pm

      I made a big decision to start my own construction company. This article Blessed me in an amazing way, because I was constantly asking myself if I was crazy and they I realized yes, Im crazy have, I have crazy FAITH IN AN AWESOME GOD!!!!

      • Tommie McCall jr on October 11, 2021 at 3:13 am

        Yrs ago God gave me an idea for an invention. Everything was going great until “I got the “big head ” & went back out into sin (the world). It was Patent but never made it to the market thus collecting royalties. Fast forward 20yrs later after I totally changed my life around God bless me with another idea. This invention is “off the charts ” however not Patent yet. I have a Professional drawing &a Patent Att pro Bono but having many problems. Is there any help anyone?

        • Steve on October 18, 2021 at 12:49 am

          Help with what? Money?

          • Guest on October 19, 2021 at 8:24 pm

            Steve, God is destroying our America now along with these Liberals that are very ignorant to begin with. That is why God is a very mentally disturbed pathetic fool altogether to let this happen, and if he is really that powerful which he should be stopping this before it gets any worse.

          • Ray on October 21, 2021 at 6:22 am

            To Guest: Romans 13:1-7.

    • Tommie McCall jr on October 11, 2021 at 3:14 am

      Yrs ago God gave me an idea for an invention. Everything was going great until “I got the “big head ” & went back out into sin (the world). It was Patent but never made it to the market thus collecting royalties. Fast forward 20yrs later after I totally changed my life around God bless me with another idea. This invention is “off the charts ” however not Patent yet. I have a Professional drawing &a Patent Att pro Bono but having many problems. Is there any help anyone?

      • Ray on October 11, 2021 at 4:39 am

        A patent gives you the exclusive right to make an object for a limited number of years. You have nothing until you actually make and sell the object.

        Make and sell the object under a patent pending.

        Selling anything is easier said than done.

        Making and promoting anything is extremely expensive.

        Sell an existing object first to make money.

        Potential backers will say “show me the money”. Meaning actual proven sales.

        TV ads are unbelievably expensive and they don’t garentee actual sales.

        Watch “Shark Tank” on TV.

        It takes money to make money!

        1 Timothy 6:10

  2. Ray on September 16, 2021 at 10:24 am

    God answers prayers!

    First pray to God. Then God will whisper to you through your dreams and gut feelings. Do them!

    But remember that the Lord’s prayer says, “Thy will be done”; not, “my will be done”.

    God may not give you the stuff that you’ve been praying for because He knows what’s best for YOU!

    Jeremiah 29:11

    • Alyssia on October 7, 2021 at 12:08 am

      What happens if I’ve prayed for a restoring me cause I haven’t been filling the same and I cant fill things know and I prayed about it and its been a month and a little longer and I fill like no ones been threw this can God still answer my prayer does he want me to suffer

  3. The Important Atheist on August 24, 2021 at 4:42 pm

    Who the hell is God?

    • Ray on August 24, 2021 at 6:45 pm

      We all will find out for sure, when it is too late to change our mind, after we are dead! Choose wisely now!

    • A! on September 1, 2021 at 11:58 am

      God is whoever, whatever, however is responsible for all that we are, that we experience, that exists. Maybe it’s a personal god, maybe it’s a Mother Nature, but something existed before everything else. I define god as the being that defies my ability to explain its coming into existence, and had the power and personality to create that which we call the universe as we know it, the universe we continually seek to understand…including who god is.

    • Geeta on October 17, 2021 at 2:25 am

      God is the best! He’s our father, friend, lover, redeemer and everything good comes from Him! The breeze you feel is his creation. Your bones are made by no other. Healing is from God. He loves us so much, He gave us free will and wants us to choose him! He sent His son to give us a choice to live with Him forever in Heaven! God cared about me in my darkest hour, the world is full of so much evil. It breaks my heart but God is changing the evil in me and I’m so glad! I had a lot of hatred for my mother in law who did some selfish things but He is delivering me from that pain. He’s helping me to love her and He’s truly the greatest one there ever was or there ever will be and My whole life belongs to Him.

  4. Will on August 22, 2021 at 5:04 pm

    I’ve read this text in a moment of my life that was very difficult. And this sent me to the bottom even more.
    Today I see why. Man… oh man… there is so much wrong in this text, so much…
    To keep it short… if you are relying on your own wisdom and understanding you are already doing it all wrong. Ask God to give you His wisdom and grace every day when you wake up, let this be one of the first things you do when you open your eyes. And ask Him to give you wisdom and grace in specific moments as well (like when you need to take a decision). And have faith, as it says… in the Bible! Have faith that He gives you wisdom and grace when you ask. Ask God to put His will, His plans and His dreams in your heart.
    The secret is to ask God for these things. When you do that you are trusting Him, you are depending on Him.
    People will say “don’t be afraid”. I’ll tell you.. be afraid! Be afraid due to the right reasons. This fear will keep you going to God, asking Him for more wisdom and more grace. This fear will keep you dependent on God, not on your own efforts and understanding.
    When I understood this, it helped me a lot. And guess what…? This came when I asked God for His wisdom.
    Dude… delete this text. It doesn’t really help anyone. Jesus paid the highest price to give people access to His grace and you are guiding these people to trust themselves, this is wrong.

    • Ray on August 22, 2021 at 5:20 pm

      Study the end of the article. Especially the prayer example near the end. Maybe you misjudged?

      • Will on August 22, 2021 at 6:31 pm

        No. Confidence and faith have to be on what God tells you, it has to be on your dependance on Him (which sometimes means waiting, even if the answer is taking long). Simply doing whatever you want isn’t right.
        If there is a sea in front of you and God tells you to put your foot on it you do, He’ll open it. If you go ahead without Him telling you to do it, because you see an anemy is getting close, you’ll find yourself drowning, now crying and suffering. He’ll save you sure, but you didn’t need to go through that. That’s what this text is leading people to do.
        Like I said, ask God for His wisdom and trust on it. I got nothing more to add.

        • Ray on August 22, 2021 at 7:23 pm

          The article says to depend ONLY ON GOD!

        • Steve on October 18, 2021 at 12:52 am

          This is good I think.

    • Ayo on August 23, 2021 at 10:18 pm

      Dude, I really don’t know what you read but I am currently in that state where I want to take a decision and reading this gave me clarity. I could realise I am in fear that’s the reason I am not taking action. I guess you read wrong.

      • Ray on August 24, 2021 at 3:03 am

        No action is an action. Pray and think about it, then do your gut feeling about it. Someone said, “the only thing to fear is fear itself”.

  5. Sayali Jadhav on August 5, 2021 at 5:30 pm

    Oh my God 😇 You’re Thoughts really inspired me. Actually I’m not Christian by Religion, but I believe in God. The way you explain the ” Faith ” & ” Trust ” of God it’s really amazing. Yesterday I was find video on social media that said ” if you want something said to God and have faith. It will come to you. And if your trust shaking it won’t come into reality. ” I was literally getting back and forth in every situation. But thanks to God, I was accidentally bump into your blog and all my negative thoughts turn into positive. You’re right without risk there’s no success. 😇 Thank you and God bless you 🙏

    • Alexandra on August 12, 2021 at 5:05 am

      I love that you have faith in God, but a most necessary risk before trusting Him is to decide if you believe Jesus, who has been proven to be real by multitudes, was a lunatic, a liar or was telling the truth. The implications of him being a liar or a mad man are significant. Do a little reading of the words He spoke and the fact they have held up for 2000 years.. if he was telling the truth, he is worth the risk! Once you have that concluded in your mind, your heart will have a different sense of the size of God and His power. I will pray for you.

    • Marisa on August 20, 2021 at 3:49 pm

      The day I gave up on God and stopped loving him is the day everything started working well in my life. Don’t be fooled, God only wants you to suffer always . Spit on his face, he is a pig. I did love him but he is abusive.

      • Ray on September 1, 2021 at 5:57 am

        You’re wrong! Jeremiah 29:11

        • ? on September 4, 2021 at 6:53 pm

          God is a phony, and doesn’t exist at all.

          • Ray on September 4, 2021 at 6:59 pm

            That’s your choice, but you can’t change your mind after you are dead, choose wisely now!

          • Stella on September 15, 2021 at 5:36 am

            Things might have started going right according to you it’s Because Satan has taken over and is deceiving you if you had prayed and had the Holy spirit he would HV helped and lead you you cannot fall if you have the Holy spirit as he guides you daily and convicts you of sin .if you were able to see yourself in eternal hell one day you would not say the things you do ..just because it feels like it won’t happen does not mean that is true..Gods word is the Truth and if you actually will call on Him to reveal himself to you He will ..and not in a mocking way ..i feel sad for you that you are so deceived your life will not be a happy one.i was once an unbeliever i thought i was happy bit i was not ..i literally was pulled from my miserable life in a dream and when i woke up everything had changed for me ..i used to be in the world …..He literally had saved my life ..just because you didn’t get what you thought you should does not mean He does not exist or does not love you HV free will..the devil is having a ball of a time with you blaspheming God …well I’m sure you don’t feel good inside when you say that ..i get attacked a lot but i know it’s because I’m on the right road the Bible says the supernatural world is more real than this world focus on that ..and I know…God hears me ..and His angels protects me…and he will do the same.for you ..He will welcome you back with loving arms like he did for me …God bless you

      • April on September 3, 2021 at 10:47 pm

        The day I started putting my trust in God is when all started going well for me. I believed in Him before, but i didn’t fully trust Him, my life went to hell before I put my trust in Him, but the day I turned my life over and gave it all to God is when I could actually SEE clearly, I could see Him working wonders in my life, He made me happy, He made me a much better person than who i was before. Granted, my life following Christ is difficult, there’s plenty heartbreaks and pain in following Christ, but it is SO worth it. All pain and heartaches I experience ik is God working, it’s HIS plan for ME. And I have to trust it, Bc those heartbreaks are making me a stronger person, and making me able to share my faith with non-believers. God is making me into the person I am today, I am going through school, studying HIS word, following my dream to be a missionary, to help ppl, to share my faith with them, do Gods work. And it’s AMAZING, I am so so glad I gave my life to God, it’s so so worth it.

      • Ray on September 17, 2021 at 8:32 am

        The answers God gives to prayers to Him are yes, no, wait, and better. Do you help others who call you bad names?

    • kristin on September 11, 2021 at 7:35 am

      If you’re not Christian, stop arguing Christianity here. It’s a place where peaceful believers congregate, not for Muslims to harass and attack us. If you can’t be kind and respect us, move on. BTW Carey Niewhatever, everytime i google anything you come up and you insult and attack everyone. Then it says you’re a lawyer which isn’t surprising bc you’re so combative and mean that i’d say you’re a more successful lawyer than christian. But there are a lot of delusional Christians so i’m sure you gained popularity being mean bc people like mean people. Jesus had 12 friends. Even Rick Warren who has 40k people in his church loves everyone which is an anomaly – but you – you are a bad person and idk how you sleep at night. I’m also sick of you ignoring my comments on every low article you write. if you really did care you would apologize, repent, REPENT if you even know what that means, and delete all this toxic stuff you place on the internet.

  6. Bob on August 1, 2021 at 8:17 pm

    Trusting “God” or other mythological characters IS being foolish.

    • Ray on August 1, 2021 at 8:42 pm

      That’s a bad bet according to Pascal’s wager.

      • Ray on August 4, 2021 at 2:59 pm

        Pascal’s wager means that we choose our futures by our current beliefs and actions.

      • Marilandie on September 1, 2021 at 2:11 am

        I will never give up on God because he never fail no matter how much I went through in my life God is too faithful

        • Ray on September 1, 2021 at 5:51 am

          You’re right! Jeremiah 29:11

  7. Chris on July 29, 2021 at 4:10 pm

    I made a huge decision and my life has fallen apart. Did I get ahead of God or is this His will? I am struggling to understand and my faith is shaken. I was a caregiver to my mother with advancing dementia. My sister and I made decision to place her in a facility for better quality of life and care. Now I regret the decision but am unable to bring her back home as my sister has the legal guardianship and insists that she can no longer remain at home under my care. I am now alone in the home we shared and I am under attack constantly by the enemy and my own conscience. Is this God is telling me that I grew weary and fainted before due season? Did I lean on my own understanding by making this decision? Did He not direct it and as a result I am suffering? Or is it the right decision and the condemnation is from the enemy and it is just exposing my weak faith? I am stuck. Would God allow me to make the wrong decision due to sin and/or disobedience? God is not the author of confusion why am I so confused? Am I not in Christ?

    • Ray on August 1, 2021 at 9:42 pm

      We have free will to make decisions. ALL right answers come from God!

    • Alexandra on August 12, 2021 at 4:44 am

      The scripture’s authority on right choices according to God’s perfect will do not ever suggest you will be free of any suffering. In fact, quite the opposite! Our beautiful saviour Jesus Christ never made poor choices and His journey to the resurrection was hardly one reclining in comfort. The enemy attacks you to steal your peace and your joy, ultimately to steal your faith and hope. Attacks will be aimed at your weakest places, and human tendencies to seek comfort will listen to the nagging sense of discomfort with an overpowering need to fix the “problem”. Usually our injured pride or loneliness.
      Hold tight to God, pray psalms 91 and 139 in these times and remember that God is changing us all, every day into the sanctified, holy person we are to be presented to Jesus, our Bridegroom as. Pick up your armour daily Eph 6:10-20 and remember you have the authority over your mind. You can tell Satan to shut up in Jesus name. Remember who’s you are and the cost that was paid for your adoption.
      Good comfort reading is also found with max lucado and stormie o’martian.
      Remember that nothing surprises God and that all things the enemy plans for evil, He will turn for good, for His glory.

    • Marissa on August 20, 2021 at 3:50 pm

      Have faith in you not God. God is a wanna be attention freak. Seriously look at the truth

  8. Evie on July 23, 2021 at 7:40 am

    I recently made a decision to accept an administrative position. I had 30 days until I began my new role. I made it to day 24 and I turned back to my old position. I was battling with so much anxiety. My choice didn’t give me peace. Fast forward to today and my heart is broken. Going back didn’t provide peace either. It nearly destroyed me. I became depressed and mopey. I’ve lost weight. Am making myself eat. I’m cold and shaky. (Work doesn’t resume until September.) But I’m determined to conquer this and by saying no I have time to investigate and wrestle with God that I wouldn’t have had if I did take the job. The new position gave me a higher title in the career world and more money that the family could have benefitted from for the boys’ college tuitions. Now I worry that I may not have another opportunity and I will spend my final decade in education doing the same thing I’ve done the previous 8. If I worry, then that’s not trust. I’m tired of being double minded and afraid, as I have been my whole life. I want this to end today.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on July 23, 2021 at 7:56 am

      Hey Evie,

      I’m so so sorry to hear this. Thank you so much for trusting your story to us.

      My biggest piece of advice would be to find a good Christian Counselor to walk through this process with you TODAY.

      Anxiety only gets worse when you’re alone, so please find someone who can sit with you in this.

      I pray that you’re able to find help and lean into God’s unconditional love in this season.

  9. Josh on July 23, 2021 at 4:55 am

    I’m going to make this brief. I have a girlfriend whom I believe is the love of my life. However, I’m at a cross roads in my career. I have had a nagging feeling that God has asked me to join the military even though doing so would separate us. The thought of having to do this tears me apart. I can’t get myself to make such an insane move. Leaving behind someone who I have waited for my entire life (I’m 31). We haven’t been dating long and she came into my life right before I was probably about to make a pivotal decision from my current job. She would be perfect for traveling with me in the military. She’s got a work from home job in the nursing field. Unfortunately she is divorced with 2 kids sharing 50-50 custody and needs to stay near the father. I have never felt very strongly about the military in terms of feeling excited about the choice, besides knowing it would be good for me. Perhaps my irresponsible choice is that I want to exhaust every available option to me that would allow me to share my life with this woman. I just feel that it would be awfully cruel to have this woman walk into my life just to have to painfully remove her.

    • Ray on August 1, 2021 at 9:56 pm

      The military life style is very hard on family life. Choose one, not both.

    • Chanita on August 2, 2021 at 6:36 am

      It’s very unfortunate what has happy to you but on the other hand remember that marriage is set on the Bible for a men and a woman so that you have done or doing is abomination to the eyes of the Lord.

    • Jadye on September 11, 2021 at 7:32 am

      Hello Josh- you say you haven’t been dating long and you’re already in love, she’s everything you’ve wanted in a woman? I am a woman and this makes me nervous for you, given my own life experiences and being a woman myself. Ever heard of a narcissist? Most importantly Covert Narcissist? PLEASE research these types of people (predators-satan’s pons). What makes me wonder if she is, is the fact that she’s divorced with two children and a nurse who works from home (deep down doesn’t like people but wants to reap the benefits because they get paid well and the title) . If you belong to God, and you strongly feel he wants you to join the military-do it. This could be God’s way of protecting you from the hell you will go through if she really is narcissistic and bringing you to the woman he has for you! I will pray for you.

  10. Seth Wilson on July 15, 2021 at 2:03 am

    i trust in God faith why sould i run from him win he so good i mean even sinners now his rightness and good im liveing prove im white as snow and yet i know my sin better most those trying cast me aside act like i do not matter but i treat my self and pray for would peace and love my brothers and sisters in faith im not to wrong im just take rspect my self and giving those people time get over the Past i give the advise not follows same sins i follows but do prays and ask God to watch over those still suffer in pain and can not ignore the past i still forgive my haters and those wish me to die i know who i em but id know there such thing black sinners to but thay force me to carry there burden but i can not carry on with sins of all past i carry my owns but i still need God no matter what i know he only one halp me wash the sin away i feel the love some people itrust but not the would of trust i feel like some people never live my life or understanding it i never ask be born on hateful earth .

    • Ray on July 27, 2021 at 12:50 pm

      ALL right answers come from God. ALL wrong answers come from someone else!

  11. Why Is That? on July 14, 2021 at 7:19 am

    God is very nasty and horrible for punishing many of us innocent people for no reason at all.

    • Chris on July 19, 2021 at 1:45 pm

      I’m good at word’s so if you don’t understand what I’m trying to say. Let me know. My big plans are to move forward in my life. Doing what I enjoy doing is messing with older jeeps. Parting out in selling parts. Going on jeep trail rides. And start enjoying life. Something she has no interesting in doing. Is messing with old jeeps I couldn’t make her happy no matter what I tried. I don’t like drama. I’m a quite person who doesn’t mess with no one. Unless I get backed in a corner. I don’t understand what exactly has been said about me. I work everyday in don’t ask anyone else for help. I paid all the bills since we been together. And she has not. Even when I had a heart attack. I still payed for everything. She don’t know exactly what she wants in life. But I do love her. But i think I should move on. Because we have different plans in life.
      But i will help her if she ever needs help.. She has no idea what she wants? She tells me that she loves me one day. Changes her mind the next day. She told me not to come. That she was better off with the other guy. I’m see things in a much better way now than before we got together. I had planned this a while back parting out jeeps in it was going good until a few weeks ago. She overreact alot. But has a good heart Sometimes. She tries to hurt others who trying to help her out. When things don’t go her way. I never understand why you would hurt the love one’s who care for you. I’m layed back person. I know there was so things that I could have done differently. But once I saw she wasn’t going to be a real partner in a relationship. I dragged my feet on things I should have done. But I realized that now. I just never wanted any harm to come to her. I love her but I finally realized that we would be better off going different ways. Because of the different needs of one another. So do I need to come still or not? The only reason I started to come last night. I just wanted to know what was going on. I just want to start doing things that I enjoy in life. Also when who took my phone over has got me behind in my plans.

    • Ray on July 30, 2021 at 4:21 am

      Study the book of Job in the ESV Bible. Also Google Pascal’s wager.

    • Ray on August 1, 2021 at 10:01 pm

      Study the book of Job in the ESV Bible.

    • Chanita on August 2, 2021 at 6:38 am

      How dare you to say that about the most high wow that’s so horrible your words are very despicable and that’s the price you and I pay for our sins ummm you should read the Bible

      • ? on September 4, 2021 at 6:56 pm

        Many of us have very excellent reasons not to believe in God.

    • Ray on August 2, 2021 at 10:25 am

      Our current situations are caused by our past actions. Our future situations will be caused by our current actions. Be altruistic in Christ!

    • Austin huxley on September 6, 2021 at 10:20 pm

      Change is not always good.
      But he will always use it for good if you trust in him.
      His number one purpose is not to make you happy comfortable or pleasant.
      Nut to make you like Jesus.
      Through that you will find those things

  12. Tonia Anderson on June 26, 2021 at 11:35 am

    Me an my ex got back together about 2 months ago, and now it’s better then I ever imagined. I’m so very blessed and so very happy. Thank you Lord Zakuza for helping me. Get in contact with him via Email: lordzakuza7 @ gmail. com for any help.

    • Misheck Mlambo on July 14, 2021 at 10:41 am

      Thank you so much the angel of God for enlightening on this day. Thank you for the powerful inspiring message.

    • Chrissy Davis on July 27, 2021 at 1:46 pm

      I have wondered the same thing about a relationship that I have wanted with someone but to my dismay, has never eventuated. I had never met anyone else like him and the chemistry between us was explosive. I truly believed that this person was the love of my life and I have never been able to get over my feelings for him. I loved him so much that I prayed to God things would work out between us and that we would fix our relationship. But a fight between us and an ex friend from my past with a vengeful agenda has deliberately meddled in that situation to cause an even bigger rift between him and I in which he has not wanted to have any communication or association with me, and now I am in the position (long complicated story) where I am unable to talk to him and clarify his real feelings about me and us, and now don’t know whether or not all is lost, or if there is still any hope left for us. I keep thinking the situation seems hopeless, and everything in reality seems to point in that direction, yet a lot of the time whenever I read scripture or ask God for guidance or wisdom, I feel like I keep getting the message from Him not to give up and that God is going to answer my prayer and make everything right again. But sometimes, I don’t know if it’s really God that is telling me this, or if it’s just my heart that wants it so much and believes that is what God is telling me. And I have struggled with this problem for so long that I feel as though I should have given up on this a long time ago. But I know in my heart I will never love anyone like that ever again, the way I have loved him, and I just cannot give up on this man. And sometimes this makes me believe that maybe God wanted me to wait for him, that maybe things may still work out with him. Otherwise, why would I keep having such strong feelings for him that won’t go away. Why would I keep hoping when at this point, it seems like all hope is lost? One thing is sure, my faith in God is the only reason that I still have any hope in this situation at all. But is this what God really wants for me, or is this just what I really want for myself, and is my faith based on my own will, or God’s will for my life? I’m so confused.

      • Ray on August 2, 2021 at 8:23 am

        Move on with your life in Christ!

    • Guest on September 2, 2021 at 9:00 am

      You very much lucked out when many of us didn’t.

  13. Kenneth Gray on May 26, 2021 at 4:00 pm


    I am still here, still waiting for God to do something. I recently was asked how to trust God. I couldn’t give him an answer, as I haven’t found anything in my life that shows that God can be trusted. Before you start quoting the Bible/Scripture about what God has done in the past, let me explain. I truly am grateful for the sacrifice made through/by Jesus. Nothing says God loves me more than that. What I am saying is that I find no proof in my life (time) that God can be trusted. Never had a prayer answered (with yes), never see, hear, or feel anything from God, finding promises that God hasn’t kept. Example– God promises to meet us where we are, I have not met God anywhere. — seek and you shall find, haven’t found anything but silence, — what ever you ask in my name shall be given to you, since I am still stuck in life long poverty that has proven false. I could keep going on what God hasn’t done but can’t testify on what God has done/given, in regards to me or my life. I try to find the positive things that God has done but only find negative things. Basically I find God to be absent from my life. How do I trust a God that is never there for me? Slowly losing faith in God. I need an interactive God. What has God done, in my life, to prove that He is trustworthy? A big fat nothing. God expects trust to be given without earning it. If I kept telling someone that I will do something, but never actually do it, that person wouldn’t trust me. I’d have proven myself untrustworthy. Why then does God expect unearned trust from us?

    Thanks again, and God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen.

    • Nikki on June 1, 2021 at 10:15 am

      Hi Kenneth, apparently you do not have the right of judgement. When things are to blurry for you to see, it’s because you haven’t made a connect with the holt spirit that God sent you, or you just simply lost the connection. Spirituality goes with feeling, so does prayer and faith. Do you get a great tingly feeling when you pray, have faith and make spiritual decisions? You may just be getting all the signs from God but without the Holy Spirit being present within you, you will not be able to see, hear, feel or benefit. Go and discover what the bolt spirit is (if you haven’t already), and ask God to give it to you every single day. There are seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, once you’ve started knocking after reconfirm the Holy Spirit, you will gain those seven gifts and whenever you knock, it will be opened to you.

    • Andre Smith on June 1, 2021 at 11:52 pm

      I would love to tell you that I’ve never experienced any of this as a pastor, but the truth is that I drink everyday and just finished smoking some…… what and I’m a pastor? I beat myself up for years wanting God to show up and change my situation until finally I asked him to help me to be an overcomer!! All I can tell you is this the God of your understanding doesn’t exist!! Call me and we’ll talk more!!.
      302 898 9165

    • Ray on August 2, 2021 at 8:49 am

      Be more patient! The Hebrews prayed for 400 years before God gave them Moses. Study the book of Job in the ESV Bible.

  14. Billy on May 5, 2021 at 7:39 am

    I really appreciate this article. Does it still stand true?
    I’m used to seeing articles reposted multiple times before I start to believe its true, like the how to break the 200 attendance barrier. This is the first time I’m reading this one. Is there a similar article that’s newer?

    • Ray on August 2, 2021 at 8:54 am

      ONLY God’s Word, in the Bible, stands true!

  15. Chris McMullin on April 29, 2021 at 10:19 am

    I need to trust God for a decision I already made regarding a job I took that I believed was the right decision at the time. The location, close to home, literally 3 minutes and type of job, less stress, and more money, a lot more and nicer coworkers. How could this be wrong especially when I was so stressed and mentally and spiritually exhausted from my previous job?

    Well after I got the job and started working and I still like it, I have now came to the realization that I sacrificed the most important things in my life. My church Life group and Woman’s Bible study I can no longer attend because my hours are until 8 pm Both Life group and Bible study are in the evening. I also can’t attend Wednesday night services that are held once a month at church. Every fifth weekend I have to work Saturday and Sunday 8-4 so I miss church on Sunday. (I can watch it online but it’s better in person) I also can’t be with my husband in the evening very much because when I get home it is his bedtime because he gets up early for work. I feel like the devil really deceived me in my desperation to take this job and suffer the consequences later. My husband thankfully still goes to the life group without me but everyone there is with their spouse except him. It’s so hard to know what to do, I am keeping an eye open for a different position but most of them will be going back to a stressful job and right now I don’t have that. I feel like I am stuck in a different kind of way then I was before, I do know I feel blessed to not be in my previous job but I’m confused as to why this job is so good yet I lost what is really important to me. I need to trust God in the waiting but am afraid of how long it may take for things to turn around. I feel like God brought me to this website for a reason. I know that he is teaching me a lot through all of this and when I have a decision to make in the future I need more godly advice before making it out of desperation.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on April 29, 2021 at 4:38 pm

      Hey Chris,

      Do you have a mentor or a pastor that could walk through this with you? Maybe your Life group leader?

      I think you’ll need someone to mentor you through this that is with you in person.

      I truly hope they can help you!

      • Alessandro Jesus Martinez on June 22, 2021 at 1:35 pm

        It’s ok to not know something. Someone who knows everything probably is not very happy and a God who knows everything is probably hated because He knew what would happen and knows people think that He can/could do something about it and they are right and his real reason for it is that He gets bored and has nothing better to do than to create situations that “test” us, which is contriving and therefore the results of tests are actually not authentic and are not to be held against any individuals individual nonindividual and anything because the whole thing is a lie that wants to claim to penalize an “entity” for not telling a “truth” that was forced upon said individual etc. So when he came to earth everybody hated him because they wanted to keep on having fun and for him to be quiet because the truth is that there is me and then all of y’all. And you scared me into believing for some small length of existence that you could exist separate from me and hid your workings in an interwoven “sea” of lies and “randomness” but you cant keep me from finding you and I did so I wanted you to know that I know and you owe me big time forever you know what Im saying and writing and texting?

        • E-dawg on June 26, 2021 at 5:05 am

          I belong to you my Lord. Forever giving you my best if you will let me

        • Ray on July 27, 2021 at 12:52 pm

          ALL right answers come from God. ALL wrong answers come from someone else!

    • Ray on August 2, 2021 at 9:13 am

      Maybe you should invite all of your family and friends over for an activity that’s convenient for all of them or most of them?

      Have high quality activity time together less often!

      In Christ!

  16. Mark L. Spell on April 9, 2021 at 3:28 pm

    Was looking for some takes regarding this topic and I found your article quite informative. It has given me a fresh perspective on the topic tackled. Thanks!

    Please see my blog,
    Four Signs You are Being Called By God

    Hope this will help, Thank you!

  17. Vanessa Nicole on March 4, 2021 at 12:26 pm

    I thank God for this message. It had changed my my life. I thank God that it has taught me to trust on Him make a decision and pray to Him. I have learnt to take risks and to have faith in God. I have learnt not let wisdom substitute my faith, trust in God. I have aslo learnt that trusting God you should think that everything is easy by not taking risks and being okay with what you have because you think that’s all you need.I want to bless you for the message and it has changed my life.

    • Brb on April 20, 2021 at 10:22 am

      This is exactly the question I posed to my mentor/pastor tonight via messenger about God asking our family to a new town, to settle Granddad with family. then move interstate and in time overseas. I don’t even know how I ended up on this page. Thanku Holy Spirit- I so needed this. I didn’t want to be foolish and risk everything we have but I don’t want to disbelieve What I believe God is saying. Part is I’m comfortable in my current future planning which was a safe option and definitely didn’t see this on the horizon. Yr blog was so comforting and hope restoring, I feel my double mindedness falling away and as big an upheaval as it is , now in a more peaceful place and yr not crazy and it’s ok you feel like that space. Other more experienced christians have been here too place. I feel God really is calling us and risking everything to reach those Gods entrusted us with created us to meet and more or ending up a nothing is ok, cause it feels like now, that’s not going to happen. Gods got this. He’ll provide and if I fall flat on my face, it might be to learn the process of learning to stand up again and succeed not a foolish fail. I see now, Either way he still loves me, it’s not life and death, it’s trust and peace. It’s what i can live with in 5 yrs time and talk about comfortably knowing somehow it will be a testimony to help someone overcome. What a day, I need some sleep. Thanku still pondering how I ended up on this page. Blessings to all who end up here and find peace.

  18. Kathryn on February 25, 2021 at 6:36 pm

    I was blessed and learn something after reading your article. The best comfort in this life is having a close relationship with God. Our relationship with God won’t ever be directly as long as our relationship with others isn’t right. I loved to say thank you for sharing your article.

  19. Brad on February 15, 2021 at 6:45 am

    The last part goes against the rest of the text. If you do the wrong thing it’s not like that, “Hey God, I’ll do this, if I’m wrong show me”, you’ll end up like Joshua and the people of Gibeon. The true hard part is doing nothing if God doesn’t tell you what to do, the hard thing is letting Him guide you step by step.
    The final part is kind of living like someone that doesn’t have Jesus in their lives, I never understood that way of living (for someone that calls himself Christian) but it’s the way most spread in churches. Idk, maybe I’m wrong and 15 years of waiting on God, being stuck in a place while everyone advances, is not the right way to do it, should live like everyone else but now I don’t know how to live differently. And honestly if that way to live (the one you said, the one most people live) is the right one then God is one disappointing god.

  20. Jenna Jones on January 29, 2021 at 10:20 am

    This is the absolute BEST explanation I have ever heard!! I have always struggled with what it looks like to trust God and yet still be proactive. No one has ever been able to give me a tangible thing to do, just to pray. I lost my job and am just not sure what to do. I have been putting resumes out there by the hundreds, seemingly into the abyss of the internet, and nothing. I considered reopening my business. The stress and anxiety of getting nowhere vs the passion and excitement I get from the idea of starting my business again. I have been praying but I don’t want to make another mistake.
    This article gave me the clarity to simply make the decision and wholly and completely trust God with it. If its not the right move, trust that He will make that clear and show me the right path. Thinking back, I know the bible says to let your yes be yes and your no be no but I guess I never considered that in and of itself as trusting God.
    Thank you- so much for your words of inspiration and guidance.

  21. Anonymous on January 23, 2021 at 10:57 am

    Jesus is just as very dumb like God is. Case closed.

    • Beatrice on February 26, 2021 at 8:17 am

      …Just know this…Every kneel shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. May the light of the Lord penetrate through you and give you a new perspective of the Holy Trinity. Peace.

    • LoveGod on March 1, 2021 at 5:03 pm

      Lord forgive anonymous, for what they know not. But I also pray that you let your presence be known onto them if you have not already. For i already know that a day shall come that “Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus is Lord.” I having a feeling you will know God in due time. God bless you i love you.

      • Guest on March 17, 2021 at 4:35 pm

        There is no God. And if we really had a real God, then many of us wouldn’t be suffering.

        • Kenneth Gray on April 27, 2021 at 10:02 pm

          There most definitely is God. I find it hard at times myself to keep faith in God. Those times when you can’t reconcile your suffering with a God that is love. I hate to say that I have cursed God because of the sheer amount of suffering he allows. Personally I think that less suffering would inspire more people to turn to God. I have been told, and read that this is not the case. Most people tend to forget about God when things are going well. Most people only turn to God in times of hardship and suffering. Sadly this proves to be the normal. One thing to remember is that God wants all of us to turn to Him through His son, Jesus. If suffering is needed to bring people to God then that is what is going to happen. God uses suffering to bring people to Himself. I am still trying to get my head around the whole concept. But I am trying. The sad thing is that most people turn to God under false reasoning. Turn to God and all troubles will disappear. Not. As Christians we are to imitate Jesus, become like Him. To be like Jesus you have to suffer to understand the suffering that Jesus went through on our behalf. You can’t understand pain until you experience it. Like I said, I am still struggling with this area myself. The Bible says that suffering produces character, character produces endurance, endurance produces perseverance, perseverance produces faith, and faith produces hope. The Bible also says that suffering is God’s way of punishment or teaching, and that God only punishes and teaches those that He loves. It is hard to understand, because God’s ways and thoughts aren’t the same as ours. I hope that I have helped you to at least look at God in a different way. Remember that it’s not about you, it’s all about God and what He wants. God’s will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. What have you done for God.

          God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen

        • Ray on August 2, 2021 at 9:23 am

          Study the book of Job in the ESV Bible!

    • Delina Woldu on March 20, 2021 at 3:34 pm

      I’m just wondering what made you say such a thing, what led you to come to this conclusion and maybe you’ve had a rough past and life hasn’t been easy for you, but God doesn’t give us more problems than what we can bear. When we go through stages in our lives that are difficult we often blame God and become angry. What we humans fail to realize is that going through difficult times makes us stronger individuals and the love he has for you is indescribable. Whoever you are, ask him for forgives and he will grant it to you because he’s so merciful and he loves you so much even when your insulting him. Repent is a word that people on earth hate to hear but people in hell would kill to hear it one more time. It’s not too late for you to accept his love for you.

      • Guest on March 25, 2021 at 9:14 am

        God never gave a good man like me a good wife and family that i would had wanted, since he has really Cursed me with singleness.

        • Kenneth Gray on April 27, 2021 at 10:37 pm

          Join the club. God hasn’t given me a wife either. Here is something to think about. If you read the Bible you will find that God actually prefers us to stay single. God gives us the way to do things and says that marriage is for those people that can’t control themselves as to sex. Think about what God may be doing to make His will come to be. God says that it is better to be single like, Jesus. Why? So you can devote more to God. When you are married your attention is to a worldly cause, your spouse. Not God. When you are single your attention can be focused on a spiritual cause, God. Think about it like this. God has a thirst for attention and praise and will do things to achieve His plan. Even if that means some of us have to suffer in loneliness.

          Your singleness is an opportunity for you to get closer to God.

          God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen.

          • Guest on May 2, 2021 at 7:24 am

            But having a good wife and family would had been a very wonderful thing, which is much better than being single and alone all the time. This life sucks as it is. Why should many of us be alone to begin with? A real double whammy there. It is always great to have that special someone to share your life with, that is if you can meet the right one. If God had created women just like the good old days when they were very much the very complete opposite of today, then many of us single men would had easily met a real nice one since most women back then weren’t so very mean and nasty like most women are these days.

      • Chris R on June 28, 2021 at 4:24 am

        I had harboured obnoxious thoughts and said some things that I’m not supposed to have said about GOD & these have made me feel like a wretched over the years, right now Im full of regrets, can I still be forgiven?

        • Rob on July 12, 2021 at 3:17 pm

          Hi Chris, don’t be alarmed or worried, I can tell you from experience that you CAN be forgiven… I myself have said some pretty awful things to God in the past too. And I felt really guilty. (And of course it was wrong what I did!). BUT, you know what… I know that God has forgiven me for it all. I confessed it, I asked Him to forgive me, and I know He forgave me (1 John 1:9)

          When we confess our sins to Him, they are forgiven, PERIOD! Because 1 John 1:9 is the word of God, and therefore it’s true!

          So Chris if you have done that, know that you are forgiven… even if you don’t feel like it. Feelings don’t reflect the truth. (it’s dangerous to live by our emotions)

          I am sorry you struggle with feeling down about it. I totally know what that’s like!

          But I want to encourage you, that if you have confessed the sins, you are forgiven for them, period!

          God loves you so much… Jesus paid the price for you to be free of guilt and shame, my friend. Accept His grace and forgiveness.

          Can I give you some advice? If the guilty thoughts and feelings keep coming, start repeating 1 John 1:9 to yourself and pray thanking God that it’s true, that you’re forgiven… keep doing that whenever the feelings and thoughts come up, and you’ll replace those thoughts and feelings with Gods TRUTH, and you’ll live in freedom from that guilt and shame!

          Bless you friend. I am praying for you.

  22. Odessa Patton on January 19, 2021 at 4:56 pm

    Thank You Lord.
    Thank You for sharing these words I so much received something valuable

  23. tuscan decor on December 12, 2020 at 1:08 am

    Hey very cool blog!! Man .. Beautiful .. Wonderful .. I’ll bookmark
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    • One Sheep on December 15, 2020 at 1:28 pm

      Actually isn’t a reply to Tuscan but to Anonymous with the truth. I have watched this interchange going on for some time with you Anonymous with the truth. Some attempt to help you by trying to respond to what they believe you are feeling, AT HEART, rather than the surface level expressions of bitterness, contempt and anger. Some attack you in an attempt to issue a harsh rebuke for the sin they see in some of the blasphemous things you are speaking about God and sin they see in your attitude.

      As I read what you have written I have two thoughts thus far about it. Either you are having fun baiting people by saying deliberately offensive, inflammatory things designed to provoke others but could care less about really getting help or truth, or the opposite is true, despite the surface presentation of vile, bitter contempt and a sort of ” screw you, I’m done, you guys aren’t any good, God isn’t any good but I am sort of demeanor, you actually truly DO want help and want truth. If the first option is the case, and you don’t want anyone’s help or truth then there is little point to you continuing to dump on other people and post here since you won’t accept anything anyway.

      If the second option is it, in fact you DO want help and truth, then you have a hurdle before you. That hurdle is that you are either going to continue to demand that God meet your needs your way on your terms ( an arm wrestling match that no one wins not even the devil who is a supernatural being, and one which I attempted to win for many years to no avail) OR you are going to admit that despite what your feelings and the devil are telling you, God IS in fact who He says He is, and one of those things is that He is NOT a man that He should lie.

      You either have to choose to believe Him and His word over your current feelings and trust that He and His word have more authority than your feelings or you will reject that, in which case you will stay stuck pretty much where you are. And I can see that where you are is a very deep painful mud bog to be stuck in and one that will not be gotten out of with some effort. You say that you are in good physical shape which I understand requires disciplining yourself, getting up to work out whether you feel like it or not. That’s because you understand that the only way past the barrier of poor condition is to do the things you don’t FEEL like doing and to act against your natural inclinations. It is the same with spiritual development and healing. The bible says that our fleshly nature is opposed to God, wars against the Holy Spirit and cannot even submit to Him or be reformed. You are having quite a war with your flesh.

      The choice is to surrender to a God who is infinitely good and trustworthy, admit that sin is the reason such horrible things like cancer exist ( sin is much more than the mere breaking of rules, it is an evil force that twists and corrupts the very course of nature. Just look at the simple example of what happens to our food supply when we feed animals man made stuff instead of working with the way God designed them to live if you don’t believe me ) In other words ,WE did this, not HIM. We ruined the most beautiful perfectly designed world that had no sin no death, no pain no tears and no grief in it.

      But the question still remains: Are you willing to acquiesce to God and admit that He knows better than you right now what you need? Until you do that you will find nothing but hardship and resistance. The bible says God resists the proud but He gives grace to the humble. I am speaking to you as one who has the same struggles you are describing with some minor differences. But I have struggled with it all, demanding God meet me on my terms, demanding a certain kind of life because I was sure that this is what I needed to be happy and whole, refusing to humble myself and surrender on HIS terms. God won’t respond to us when we in effect say, ” I will cooperate only when you give me the thing I am idolizing and worshipping instead of You”. He demands all. All of YOU.

      In other words that amounts to wanting to be God and not something He will yield to. God is not a wimpy parent without a backbone who yields to our demands when we are acting like tantrumming toddlers biting and scratching to get our way. I am truly not shaming you. I am in the same boat with you and can totally relate to it all including the sin pride self righteousness etc. Your sins are not different than mine. ALL our righteousness is as filthy rages before God the bible says. We ALL deserve nothing but death. Not just you. Me, and everyone else on here.

      But the question still remains. Which do you really want? Help and truth, or just to provoke people and dump poison all over others?

      • Sean Hardisty on December 27, 2020 at 11:03 pm

        I’m tired of being spiteful I I’ve waited so longer to and still have my trust issues but need to take a leap of faith for once , even if I never see or speak to you again like how I didn’t wanna drag people down with my drinking in so wanna bring them up with learning to live God and themselves.

    • Don Rice on February 15, 2021 at 10:02 am

      iam not sure I get the metaphor but that is ok too I suppose.

  24. Clouds on fire on December 10, 2020 at 6:24 am

    There is a lot of pain here. I feel for everyone. All of us has and have different pain. There is nothing worse when God has gone. I know the pain for everything is being taken away from me. Its about survival for about ten long years now.
    I dont pray any more. But doe read scriptures and theology. Looking for an answer. Waiting for the fire engine to arrive.
    Ten years is a long time. I dont hold any hope any more.
    I do know one thing.
    God does not understand rich or poor.
    Its not about them its about you.
    God is interested in what in side of you.
    Who you are.
    Thats the only answer I have found.
    I wish you all a good christian life.

    • KarinaDLRS on December 11, 2020 at 8:31 pm

      Hi! I may not know a lot of God theologically speaking but I do know that he loves us, and i mean he really does, I have sinned so much, and even after repenting and I always feel really bad when I do it, and it really is incredible that no matter how long you’ve been apart from him, if you’re still here means that you still have a chance to be close to him, and maybe you’re looking for the moment you feel something to motivate you, but i have learned that feelings can be deceiving so don’t wait just pray I really encourage you I am still growing and trying to get past all of the insecurities and things that this world has given me but He is greater that all of that and remember that He already won, I love you you’re not alone in any way.

    • Dianna on December 17, 2020 at 12:26 pm

      I encourage you to start praying again. Pray with vulnerability as you open the scripture and read. Pray the scriptures back to God. How can you have a relationship with someone you never talk to? Sometimes God doesn’t send a fire engine. Paul died in prison with a thorn in his side;, the other apostles and other Christians were persecuted. Many died in the old testament not seeing the messiah. But thats the point! Our fire engine isn’t saving us from something on earth; its to save us in eternity with Christ in perfection, joy and glory. The sin and pain that you are experiencing is the evil that Christ came to conquer, because God hates it too.

      • Clouds on fire on December 26, 2020 at 1:05 am

        We are Easter people.

      • Clouds on fire on December 29, 2020 at 4:37 am

        To be fair God has no obligation to me.
        Jesus has suffered enough.
        May christ be with you all.

  25. Colleen on December 4, 2020 at 3:38 am

    It’s quite a journey I’m on with God and I don’t always understand how He works and why He answers some prayers and not others.
    I’m 40 and have been struggling with epilepsy since I was about 18. I tried different medications, I had brain surgery to remove a tumour, I had a vagus nerve simulator (VNS) implanted and two years later removed and am now just relying on medication.
    Recently, my heart started beating irregularly, I ignored it until the other day I asked my husband to listen to it. He told me I should go to a doctor. I went and they did a few tests, blood and ECGs and prescribed me a beta blocker to use. Before I did all the tests I asked friends and family to pray for me, and with their prayers I felt a lot better but not 100% . Yesterday after feeling extremely tired I decided to try the beta blocker. After it I felt horrible and after trying it again I felt bad again. So I’ve decided to stop and trust in God.
    I got the feeling that by taking the medicine I was telling God, “thank you for your healing hand but I’ll take the medicine anyway”.
    It’s a hard journey I’m going through, but I have to live by faith and trust in Him.

  26. Anonymous With The Truth on November 11, 2020 at 8:30 pm

    God is a very rotten evil low life scumbag for not giving a good single man like me a good wife and family to share my life with.

    • Anonymous on November 13, 2020 at 8:17 pm

      Not true. He has a greater plan for you and not everything happens in the time period YOU want. I disagree highly and know my God always comes through with our patience and trust in Him.

      • Anonymous With The Real Truth on November 24, 2020 at 7:20 am

        And had many of us men been born in the old days, then many of us men definitely would have very easily been married with a wife and family with no problem at all. Women in the old days were very different, and real ladies as well which most women really were in those days. That is why many of our family members were very lucky in those days, since love back then did come so very easy for them. Most women today are just so very evil and rotten altogether, especially the ones that will Curse at us good single men for no reason at all. Just by saying good morning or hello to a woman today has really become very dangerous more than ever for us unfortunately, and that is why it is very difficult for many of us men very seriously looking for love today. And i know friends that had very bad experiences with these kind of very pathetic women as well, since they been Cursed at by them also. Why did God create so many very severely mentally disturbed women nowadays? Most women in the past weren’t really like this at all. Why now? And now that so many women today are very independent which they really think they’re God’s gift to men as well, and they really don’t need us men anymore like they did in the old days when they really did depend on a man back then to work together. What in the world did God do to these women nowadays? Yeah, very obvious why so many of us men are still single today unfortunately. And many of us men aren’t single by choice either. So much for God saying that man should not be alone.

        • Trying to Help on November 27, 2020 at 1:41 pm

          It’s by grace that we are saved we deserve death. You deserve death sir and that’s it. You don’t deserve a good woman and a good family and a good life. You deserve death. Anything after that you receive is by the grace of God. God can and will provide true joy and peace in any circumstance you are in. If you aren’t experiencing that then be open to a wider interpretation of what a happy and fulfilled life can be and follow God’s lead. I am a single woman. I’ve never dated, never been kissed and it has been very hard to reconcile this with God’s love and sovereignty, but I know he’s good and when I have stood in that knowledge I have had so much joy and peace. You don’t need a woman or family to be happy. You need God to be happy and that’s pretty much it.

          Also, attitude and energy is the most important part of attraction. What you believe deep down inside about yourself and the world comes out and makes up 85% of what makes you attractive or unattractive to women. So you should get more positive and get your entitlement in check and you will probably be married within a year tbh lol. I would check out the youtube channel Charisma on Command. He makes fun entertaining videos that talk about attraction, attitude, and personality. They are really helpful for starting that journey towards being a more inwardly and outwardly positive and attractive person.

          Men that give off entitlement vibes are un-safe to women. Because if you feel entitled to my time or attention what else do you feel entitled to my body? What will you do if I say no? Nearly 1 in 5 women experience sexual assault. Giving off that vibe doesn’t mean you are actually unsafe but there are plenty of men who don’t give off that vibe and they probably are a better bet. See what I’m saying.

          Any way best of luck!

          • Anonymous With The Real Truth on November 29, 2020 at 5:47 pm

            And you’re a low life piece of garbage loser altogether wishing death on me since what i have said was the very truth to begin with, and i hope you get very severely punished by God yourself instead of me. Oh by the way, i am a good looking man that keeps in shape as well for your information. And i never expected to be Cursed out by a woman that i thought at the time was very nice to meet. Oh boy, was i wrong there. Many women should really be punished by God very badly, the way that they treat us men now. And like i said, most women are very severely mentally disturbed today since they have no manners and personality at all nowadays when it comes to many of us good single men looking for love. Have a good day.

        • Myles on December 10, 2020 at 10:19 pm

          Don’t question God about this. Is human fault not God . But God still love us.
          I don’t know what exactly what you want to tell is or the meaning of it. But if I am you irather
          ask and pray to God that God sent me a Godly man. That I can trust and worship with him together. God Bless🙏🙏

          • Anonymous With The Real Truth on December 11, 2020 at 8:24 am

            But why should many of us good single men be alone when there are many of us that were really hoping to meet the right good woman to settle down with to have a family? Life sucks as it is, and to be single and alone all the time makes it much worse for many of us as well. Why are so many millions of other people so very lucky and blessed to have a life that we can’t have? What in the world did we do wrong anyway? Do you know what the three most important things are in life. Well Number 1, having your health. Number 2, having enough money and not really being that rich. And number 3, having a wife and family to share a life with. And for the people out there that really have all that, which makes their life very much complete. And that is why i have a very excellent reason to hate God so very much since he really failed me altogether, and i know other friends that certainly very much agree with me as well. Like i tell so many other people that just happened to be very lucky when they found love with one another, which i will say to them be very thankful for what you have since many of us that are still single definitely would’ve wanted the very same thing as well. My health isn’t that good either, i have just enough money to get by, and i have no wife and family either unfortunately. That is why having those three things that i have just mentioned already is very important. I usually tell people that cancer kills very quick, but loneliness can be a very slow and painful death. Very excellent reasons for me to really hate God very much since he never gave a good innocent single man like me a normal life like he gave to so many others. That is why i really hate all the holidays when they come around which makes a lot of sense for me. Peace.

        • KarinaDLRS on December 11, 2020 at 8:47 pm

          I know you want love, and I know that you have it, jut maybe not in the way you want, I think you should try to accept Gods love first before any other kind of love arrives, I know its hard, you just want someone to spend your life with, and someone who understands you, but the most important person that it is in all of our lives in all our life is God, do you know how much he loves you? He gave His only begotten Son for YOU, that is love and you may not want to hear this but it is the truth that love is better than any other love.

          • Anonymous With The Real Truth on January 10, 2021 at 10:29 am

            But there are many of us single men that really hate being single and alone all the time, since many of us really deserved to be loved. Our family members were very lucky back in the past when they found love with one another. Why not us? Being married with a good wife and family is very much normal to have. And other men that have that life, should really be very thankful that they have their lives so very complete. And being single and alone all the time is very unhealthy for many of us men, and it certainly has so many disadvantages as well.

          • Sad because God Doesn't Answer Everyone's Prayers on February 14, 2021 at 6:43 pm

            I’m not spiteful like Anonymous. But I do wonder what love God has for me. Yes, Christ died on the cross, and I am a beneficiary of that. Christ also came that we would have a more abundant life (His words). But many of us have something far less than abundance, and I not referring to material goods).

            Personally, I have prayed and worshipped since I was very young. I’m industrious. I have served Him and others. In all sincerity, I have done everything that I can, while still battling sin as best as I can. But still, in middle-age, I remain unloved and unwanted.

            You don’t know how hurtful that is. God saw Adam was lonely and made him a partner. “What is so terribly wrong me with,” I’m left wondering. All my life it has been left to some other day, and the day doesn’t come. I’d rather not bore you with the long, sad story. Believe me when I write that again and again I have tried. Again and again I’m told that I’m not good enough, even while being told I treated her better than any other man ever did. I think you can see how cold that leaves one. Particularly toward an All-Powerful being who promises provisions, but, as the old song goes, not for me.

        • I Agree on April 14, 2021 at 8:06 pm

          You very much nailed it.

          • AU on May 29, 2021 at 6:18 am

            I agree with you – sad cuz God doesn’t answer prayers. Hang in there. So much doesn’t make sense, we wrestle well, and then we are told it is because of our “lack of faith and trust in His goodness?” Hmmm. Not so sure about that.

        • Kat on July 26, 2021 at 1:55 am

          We women can say the exact same thing about men too. You seem to be pointing the finger at women specifically, like men aren’t different now too.

          There’s cultural reasons (e.g. birth control brought along ‘theoretically’ consequence free sex and made it so a made doesn’t need to make a commitment before sex because a baby could come along).

          As a solid, conservative woman, I can say every man I’ve dated (religious included) have been utterly disappointing. Everything from not having a job that could support a family (despite having a good occupation myself), crazy dating histories, lack of self-control, etc.

          The women bashing is misdirected.

          I’ll warn you about two things…

          1. A good woman could easily ignore or avoid you because most of us have been utterly burned dating other men. You aren’t the only bitter and untrusting one. So when you say hello to a girl in passing and she glares or doesn’t react how you’d like, consider it could be she may feel awkward, unsafe since you are a stranger (sexual assault is more common than you’d think and many women feel vulnerable), etc.

          2. A good woman may perceive your attitude towards women and avoid you. Consider, no woman wants to be with a man who thinks she and all women are evil.

          I wonder, if you think women are soooo evil, why do you even want one?

          Also, I often wonder if men were better back then too.

          I’ve legit gone out with a guy and after a few dates he mentions he is ‘non-binary’ so… yea, we women aren’t the only bizarre ones who aren’t what they used to be 70+ years ago. I wonder if men were better gentlemen back then instead of all of the effeminate wusses so many are now.

          Final point, self-pity isn’t attractive. Perhaps there are reasons that women aren’t interested and keep in mind, you aren’t the only one going through this. There are lots of good people who are stuck being single. I recommend offering it all up for the greater glory of God.

          All you can do is adhere to your duty of the moment.

          Just because you want something, doesn’t mean God has to give it to you or that you are entitled to anything.

          There are so many bitter comments here where people seem to be treating God like a magic genie who is supposed to grant our wishes.

          We’ve been given heaven. We didn’t even deserve that after the fall of Adam and Eve. We deserve nothing and yet, God bestows things on us in his mercy.

          Nothing is earned. If anything, we have so great a debt we could never repay it. And yet, so many in the comments claim they can’t ‘trust’ God or he hasn’t granted their prayers.

          He isn’t a genie and our worldly desires are insignificant for our short mortal lives. We should be far more concerned about eternity. Getting to heaven and preparing for that should be our number one priority.

          Rather than curse God for not granting our worldly desires, we should have a healthy fear of the Lord, of his wrath and a steadfast trust in his guidance towards heaven and eternal life to him.

          Consider, so many comments here are focused on ‘not being able to feel God’s presence in their life’ (which again is not something we are entitled to).

          That is our heavenly reward, to have His presence in front of us finally.

          Hell being the devoid and lack, worse than on earth. Total disparity.

          This should be our main priority. By all means, pray unceasingly for a wife because it would make you happy and you may come closer to God via a wife too.

          But we aren’t entitled to anything. Fear of the Lord and Humility are the two virtues lacking in those who are bitter towards God.


    • Dee on November 24, 2020 at 8:26 pm

      Bad attitude toward God. Face up to the fact that He might want you to stay single. You are His servent, not the other way around. Explore what you can do for Him because you are single. I understand how tough it can be, but making God your enemy is not a good approach. Start fresh with a new single attitude. Think of how Preist and Nuns survive.

      • Ray on September 5, 2021 at 8:44 am

        Go to college because you’ll meet lots of successful people plus you’ll get an education!

    • Anonymous on December 15, 2020 at 11:49 am

      Not surprised God hasn’t given you a spouse with the way you talk about and feel about Him, the creator HE IS WISE and GRACIOUS to protect a woman from your mouth!

      • Hate The Single Life Myself on December 18, 2020 at 7:02 am

        But there are many of us good single men that would have really wanted a good wife and family to share our life with. And why should we be alone anyway? I agree with the other guy as well.

      • Guest on June 24, 2021 at 4:27 pm

        He very much nailed it though.

      • Anonymous on July 29, 2021 at 4:57 pm

        Kat, unfortunately there are so many very nasty women nowadays everywhere. Especially when most of us single men get Cursed Out by these type of very mentally ill women for no reason at all. What is up with that by the way anyway? And i know other single friends that had that happened to them as well. If a woman were to approach me and said hello, i wouldn’t act like these women today at all. In fact, i would be very pleased if that happened to me which i would be very shocked if that ever did happened to me. And i would try to have a conversation with her, and get to know her as well since i am single today and looking to meet a good woman to settle down with. The real problem is that God didn’t create so many nice women these days unfortunately, which back in the old days most women were the very complete opposite of today. That is why love came very easy back then, the way that our family members had it at that time since they really lucked out in those days. And if it wasn’t for our mothers and fathers, then we would had never been born to begin with. It is very sad how many very troubled women there are now that are very much hurting most of us single men from finding love, and had we been born in the past this would had never happened since most women back then were so much nicer and real ladies as well which made love very easy to find at that time. Peace.

    • Mercedes on December 19, 2020 at 4:19 pm

      I absolutely agree sir. It was God himseld that said he loves the sinner and hates the sin as written in Psalm. Forgive me l forgot the verse. Well, that sounds like a huge
      contribution to me. After l read this l realized after being baptized at 24 and following Christ since l was 20. I learned like a cool at the age of 40 that was being ignorant and was following a false God. Good for you for truly finding the truth and not no longer living a long lie.

      • Hate The Single Life Myself. on December 25, 2020 at 8:33 am

        Even God did say that man should not be alone, which i will certainly agree on that one. To see so many others out there that were very very extremely blessed and lucky to find love with one another, well they certainly have so very much to be thankful for since they will never ever have to worry about being all alone by themselves. God is just a very evil rotten low life loser the way that i look at it, since he never wanted to make so many of us single men very happy at all unfortunately. Why should many of us be all alone when it would have definitely been so very normal to have a wife and family to share our life with? This world would had never progressed at all if it wasn’t for the married people that really made this world grow in population over so many of these years from the beginning of time. God is just so very rotten to many of us single men for no reason, since i do know other single men that very much agree with me as well, and they really hate being single and alone too. It just doesn’t make any sense at all, why so many others can be married with a family when so many of us would have certainly very much wanted that as well, since we really are no different than they’re. If God had really created women like the good old days, then many of us single men today would have been married with our own family today as well. It is the women today that have really changed unfortunately, that is making love very difficult to find nowadays since many of us single men really can’t blame ourselves at all to begin with. That is why most women were so very easy too meet back then, just like our family members that were very lucky to be born at a much better time when most women were very normal since they had much better manners and a very great personality back then as well. Many of us single good men just happened to be born in the wrong time unfortunately today, looking for love. Very obvious why so many of us men are still single today, and not by choice either.

      • Don Rice on February 15, 2021 at 10:18 am

        God does not need our comments

        • Anonymous on February 17, 2021 at 8:30 am

          It is a very good thing that God created much better normal women which most of them really were at that time in the old days, otherwise this world would’ve never grown in population over many of these years. Very thanks to the women in the old days which my heart really goes out for them. Amen.

      • Guest on March 25, 2021 at 9:25 am

        I also feel very sorry for so many single good women out there that were really hoping to meet the right good man for them to settle down with too have children as well, but were very unfortunate just like me as well.

      • Guest on June 24, 2021 at 4:28 pm

        Mercedes, at least you agree with me how i feel.

  27. Malcolm on October 4, 2020 at 9:11 pm

    This is no doubt a worrying question for many. I for one have no doubt that God answers prayers and cares for us in ways that we don’t always understand. My faith is based not just upon my study of the scriptures and extensive examination of evidence that compels me to believe that the Bible is true, but also upon personal experience. Without intending to be too dramatic, during my life and beginning when I was five years old, I have experienced more tan ten episodes of serious accidents, near misses and medical emergencies, any one of which could have killed me. In my late teens I began to realize that I must have been blessed in some way to have survived. My life has been blessed as I have been happily married for almost 60 years, I have a wonderful family and friends and have enjoyed a very successful career. I am not rich in worldly goods but have enjoyed so many great experiences, far beyond my expectations. My contribution to this life has been to search out and evaluate opportunities, make prayerful decisions and work hard at making decisions work. So what does this have to do with faith and prayer. It was not until I was into my 40’s that I really appreciated the richness of my life and my untold blessings and began to pray in earnest and to thank God. I strongly believe that it was more than just by chance that I have survived and prospered. My final conviction of the part played by God in my life came when I underwent cardiac surgery and reacted very badly to the contrast dye which caused me to be completely paralyzed. Though I was conscious and could hear the medical staff, I was unable to speak. They were deeply worried that I was about to die but I had a strong feeling that once again I would survive. This paralysis lasted almost nine hours, during which time I prayed several times, thanking God for my many blessings. Slowly I became aware that my paralysis was lifting and the first thing that came into my mind was the Lord’s Prayer which recited aloud to the surprise of the attending nurse. I then recited the 23rd Psalm and I knew that I would survive. Since that time I have pondered the instruction to store up one’s treasures in Heaven, not on earth. Also I have sought meaning to the instruction, seek and you shall find, ask and it will be given to you, knock and the door will be opened. My personal interpretation of this is that we should seek faith, repent and ask for forgiveness, and when we so knock, the gates of eternal life will be opened to us. We should not expect the rewards to be in this life. I am not an ordained minister, but my life experience, bible study and faith have given me the confidence and sense of purpose to conduct several services in our church, encouraging others to seek, ask and knock. We do not know the will of God and the faith of Job should be studies carefully. Our faith should not be based upon what God can do for us in this life. God is not some great “Santa Clause” distributing benefits to all. Our faith should be based upon the eternal promise made by Jesus. Believe and repent and you will be granted eternal life. There is no greater promise. There is no greater reward.

    • Kmayo on October 6, 2020 at 5:09 pm

      There have been so many inspirational responses. I personally thank you all.

    • Jay on October 21, 2020 at 6:34 am

      WOW! So insightful.

      • KIRSTY on November 15, 2020 at 9:52 pm

        I’m ready to turn my back on God forever. He doesn’t give a crap about me anymore. I watch all the wicked people get blessed, all the people that did me wrong, not just any wrong either, people that raped me, lefy my children and I homeless, beat me up, withheld money from my children and myself while we go without (my child’s father), that left me in a pool of my own blood to die. Disgusting. Yet they are travelling the world having a great time and moved on into an even better life while my children and I suffer and go without.
        All the while God couldn’t give a rats asshole about it. I forgive the evil people, I donate to charity and live a good life, I am not sexually immoral or a bad person. I dont steal, I dont try and get reveng, I take care of the poor. Yet nothing.

        Even things I’ve been praying for for years that would give me strength god never gives me. He doesn’t even speak to me anymore. He sends no help!
        What a joke. Doesn’t send anyone my way to help. I have no money to feed my children for 4 days and he hasn’t sent any help. I prayed that he would give me money but things actually got worse, I lost even more money!
        I get it. He doesn’t give a f*ck about my children or I! Pretty obvious by now, 4 years of absolute nightmares.
        He used to do so many miracles in my life back when I was a jerk, now that I try and live a holy life He has forgotten me. Pathetic.

        I’m over hearing about how good God is. Why doesn’t he prove it instead of sitting around like a bunch of ladies at a tea party telling every ass how great he is. I am OVER IT! I have put up with more than any sane person should ever have to! And still held on to God! Yet now I am so weary I no longer give a crap!

        • James E. Connelly on November 17, 2020 at 2:37 am

          What I hear is……. I love you , God, why have you abandoned me? Kirsty, I know this crushing. But, I assume, like me, you have know where to go except to the floor in tears, asking for His mercy. You love Him, or you wouldn’t have posted.

          Following Christ is like climbing a mountain. Up,down, up a little higher, down a slop, up higher, down a jagged crevice, up to the next level.

          But we are climbing to the top, to eternity with Him.

          We wouldn’t have it any other way.

          With His love, Jim

        • Lisa on November 22, 2020 at 6:15 am

          Bless your heart sweetie, so much pain. That hurt me to hear all the stuff that has happened to you, but the biggest picture is . He allowed you to survive everything single thing that the enemy has sent your way. How you are talking and feeling is exactly what the enemy wants you to feel and say! God is there. He just wants you to look at it from a different perspective. Lord knows that I have never been in your situation, but I have had my mind so messed up because of being molested as a child, by feeling unloved, by feelings of rejection. I had to renew by mind and start thinking different, by the help of the Holy Spirit and it’s not easy and I still struggle but I never give up.

          • Mercedes on December 19, 2020 at 4:29 pm

            Ppl like you have to open your foolish eyes. I bet you think you are not going to hell bc you think you are like the saints. Please lady stop kidding yourself. You know deep inside it’s a big crock

        • Emory on December 16, 2020 at 5:36 pm

          Canvas And Clay – Pat Barrett ❤️

        • Mercedes on December 19, 2020 at 4:27 pm

          I’ve seen the same thing. I have gotten mentality I’ll bc if the Narcissistic family members that this great God has blessed me with or should l say cursed me with when l truly loved him once. What is the point in believing in him when he doesn’t even bless sane good ppl with morals and values anymore but blesses the wicked and toxic.

          • Guest on June 14, 2021 at 4:22 pm

            You really certainly nailed it.

        • Mercedes on December 19, 2020 at 4:35 pm

          Good for you for waking up. I did too and it truly set me free. The true freedom. Stop being nice to ppl even God said you do not enter the Kingdom through good deeds alone. But through recognition of his proud son too. Don’t change all this crap has helped you find you’re true self. Thank yourself not this contradictive POS of God. Ever since my mother committed divide l stop following his sorry ass and false doctrines.

        • Atheist on March 20, 2021 at 12:29 pm

          God isn’t real at all.

        • Anonymous on June 28, 2021 at 4:42 pm

          Kirsty, God is very evil.

    • Lindiwe on October 26, 2020 at 1:16 pm

      This is confirmation to what I’ve been looking into,we need to store up heavenly treasures,not on earth where moth and rust destroy and thieves can break in and steal them.

      God is great,glory be to him forever and always!! He is so faithful..

      Thank you for sharing the experience.

      • Mercedes on December 19, 2020 at 4:38 pm

        Lindiwe God is not great. A great God would not allow babies and innocent creatures at the hand of his own creation to suffer.

        • So True on May 18, 2021 at 5:10 pm

          You really nailed it.

    • gee on October 30, 2020 at 1:29 pm

      thank you, and amen brother–what a wonderful reminder of how to ask, seek, and knock–great article and a great comment–be blessed

      • Malcolm Harris on October 31, 2020 at 2:52 am

        If the telling of my experiences and conviction that our only hope is in trusting God has been meaningful for you I have the faith to believe that God has been with both of us on our journey through life. To quote another from a source I have misplaced, there was a person who boasted that he had all he needed as he had Christ in his life. The reply was that it was not just what he needed, Christ was all he had. There is no other hope.
        May God bless you.

    • Joe D. on June 9, 2021 at 2:49 am


  28. Kenneth Gray on September 23, 2020 at 2:28 am

    I know that we are supposed to trust God. It’s the timing thing that I find is a problem. The silence is a bigger problem. As for timing; I have asked God for advice on what I should do. I then wait for God’s answer. The clock runs out for what is asked and still no response from God. No direction from God. You make the best quess you can and try to move forward only to have the entire situation crumble. Since you are supposed to ask and wait, you do. God then punishes (seems that way)you for not waiting enough, even though time ran out for that decision to be made. Which brings up the problem of God’s silence. The Bible says that we are to bring all to God, for Him to direct your life. What use is that when God never responds. Not saying He has to, His will and all. By not responding (silence) God has planted the seed of doubt. Not Satan, but God. For me it has been over 4 decades of silence. How long do we have to wait for God to answer? I have not seen, heard or felt God in anyway in this ridiculously long “season”. This lack of involvement by God is what causes me to feel actual pain in my heart and soul. I have prayed and asked God to please remedy this situation, for wisdom, for understanding, for knowledge, for hope (in this life). Still nothing from God but silence. I read about people who claim that God always answers them or actually tells them something. While I suffer God’s lack of involvement in my life, suffer the silence. It’s impossible to believe that you have already had your prayers answered, after so long without anything from God. (anything noticeable anyway) Will I die without ever getting any kind of response from God? I don’t know what I have to do, to get said response, as God remains silent, never answeres prayers. (with a Yes) This is why some people say God is mean. If God would actually tell you the answer, a No/Wait would be much easier to deal with than silence. An actual answer would go a long way to keep faith alive. An actual response would restore hope and give us something to hold onto while we wait. I have never found that being ignored (seems that way) turns out to be good. Silence isn’t helpful. Have I been foolish to wait so long? Has my trust been in vain? I just don’t know. I do know that I am beyond tired of all this. I believe that I still have a little faith left as I keep praying and talking at God. (at God as to God would require God to also talk) I keep looking for answers. I keep trying, regardless of the disappointment I feel. Yes a father doesn’t always give their child everything they ask for because it would be harmful. But the father does give his child some of what was asked for. My Heavenly Father hasn’t given me anything discernable, thus proceved as nothing. God sure has taken from me though, as He has taken my family, friends, hope, and the ability to glorify Him, the ability to help the poor and needy. God has ever denied me access to church. To poor to pay tithes, make offerings, not even the means to get to church. I have been stuck in poverty my whole life without a way out. Heck God hasn’t even revealed my God given purpose in life. Didn’t ensure that I have any skills/talents to make a decent life. Everything is a big question without an answer. I don’t find any comfort in God walking beside me through troubles, instead of helping me. Where have I gone wrong? What terrible thing have I done to be treated like this? Well sorry for rambling on, I know that my problems aren’t yours, but I need to tell someone, as it appears that God isn’t listening. Thanks and may God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen.

    • Michelle on September 25, 2020 at 5:07 am

      All I can say to this is DITTO! The waiting, the silence, the punishment and the constant problems that have plagued my life for the past 11 years has made me feel foolish for believing that God has a good plan for my life.

      • Sheri Thompson on October 6, 2020 at 3:22 pm

        Michelle, I just responded to Kenneth about this and believe the same is true for you. God’s plan isn’t what you can DO for him. It is for you to know Him, to know how He loves you, to believe in his work on the cross and to simply live that out by loving others. Often, we have to begin to act on what we already know and THEN we see what God wants. He has already given us many directions in His word. Follow them, and you will see and feel His presence in your life. I truly believe that.

        • Lindiwe on October 26, 2020 at 1:29 pm


          When we surrender our lives to the Lord and stop bombarding him with plans of our own.

          When we care to seek what God has instructed us to do,by reading his word and inviting him into our everyday lives.

          It makes all the difference.

        • gee on October 30, 2020 at 5:33 pm

          thank you sister for responding to these dear ones.. as i was reading these comments, i felt grieved, and i know God does too, because He loves us, beyond what we can ever imagine–brothers and sisters in Christ–don’t give up–God is good, period! be blessed

          • Lorie on December 7, 2020 at 7:40 am

            It’s no wonder, humans go batty trying to discern what is from God, what is random. I am not specifically responding to whoever’s post this is but overall. I have faith ( albeit it minuscule at times), but it can make you crazy trying to weed out will. I simply pray for God’s will and nothing more.

      • Claire on December 8, 2020 at 1:28 am

        God did not promise a good life, these preachers are lying, He did not promise wealth and health, why did the disciples go through what they did , why were they not rich and healthy, read the bible and see , riches and health is not a promise in this life, but in the next, new heaven and earth. use a concordance to look up all scriptures on money and you will soon see , the new modern preachers are twisted and causing many to fall away, when their so called tricks of , say it and you get it, the lie that faith results in healing and money, what a lie…straight from the pit of hell.

        • Don Rice on February 15, 2021 at 10:25 am

          the reason the jews obeyed God was the way he provided material blessings.

      • Guest on May 29, 2021 at 7:26 am

        God is very evil unfortunately, and we really need a real God to straighten out all the problems that we have out there in this world today now. This God that we really have now is a real fake.

    • Laurie on October 4, 2020 at 7:38 am

      That is a long time my friend to hold your breath hoping for answers. Look at the sky and see how wonderful it is. Enjoy the taste of a juicy apple? Marvel at his provision. I have gone through times as you describe and then I’ll read a scripture and it’s like I turn a corner and all is right again. I gained nothing in my real time life but I experienced a peace that I was thankful for.

    • Sheri Thompson on October 6, 2020 at 3:19 pm

      Oh, Kenneth. I read this and my heart just hurt for you. I can tell you feel deeply hurt by God too. I wish I had easy answers for you, but the reality is that there are no easy answers to some of our questions. I do, however, “hear” in your words that you expect God to answer you and to love you. And well you should. Our circumstances do not dictate God’s character. He does love you. Deeply. And he knows your life circumstances. I have two thoughts that I hope encourage you. First, God’s plan for your life may not have a long list of things you are to do – what you might call your purpose – God’s plan for your may be that you get to know him right where you are. He does not reside in churches and although, we are meant to be in community, some of His most faithful and powerful followers had much time alone. I think of Joseph in a prison year after year due to no fault of his own. When we read stories in the Bible we get the impression that time passed quickly, but it was actually years. Daniel served in Babylon for years. Moses tended sheep on the backside of the desert for many years. John, who wrote Revelation, was on the island of Patmos all alone, exiled because all of the attempts to kill him had failed. All of that to say that God has not abandoned you. He is there, but he may not look or act like what you are wanting or expecting. His relationship with you will be unlike any other, and frankly, it could be much deeper and real, because you are not in a place to get all caught up in the trappings of traditional church. Sometimes, when we have so many opportunities for programs and learning: Bible studies, and Sunday school and church events, we get fooled into thinking that those things make us spiritual and draw us closer to God when in reality that is not necessarily true. Many busy church people are just as lonely and wondering why they don’t feel close to God. If you have truly given your life to God, believed in the name of Jesus for salvation and forgiveness of sins, then the Holy Spirit is in you, and it is his role to teach you. You can read scriptures and ask Him to reveal things to you. You can pray, oh my goodness, we need people who will pray their hearts out right now! Your are more powerful on your knees than anywhere else. And you can worship. Instead of asking God to fit into some prefab expectation that someone else has given you, ask him to surprise you. Second, your words about waiting and silence sounded just like King David when he was running for his life. Saul was trying to kill him because David had been anointed to be the next king. There is David, the next king, hiding out in caves, starving, dirty and afraid, and tired. But God can grow us in those dark times just like He grew David. This is your wilderness. Perhaps, this is your preparation time for what is next, but if that is the case then you need to get prepared but getting to know God. Again, get to the Bible. And if you can get to this site online then you also have access to the web which has so many teaching opportunities for you. God is not done with you, but He may be waiting for you to stop looking at your circumstances and start looking at Him. I will be praying for you Kenneth. Really. I don’t respond to these usually, so I will remember you.

      • gee on October 30, 2020 at 5:42 pm

        amen amen amen!!!

    • Juju Degree on October 12, 2020 at 7:01 am

      Kenneth, I empathize with you. I have found myself in that very situation by more than one occasion. What has worked for me has been to be sure that I am praying according to his well and not my want. I ask myself am I asking the right question of him. Very importantly, I examined the other areas of my life to ensure I am living in obedience overall. I have wondered in the past if my answer would have come through the person that God prompted me to Witness to but I failed to witness to that person. My answer could have come through that interaction. Another resource is consulting with other mature Christians. And lastly there’s a grace. I submit that God’s grace is sufficient for my innocent incorrect decisions.

      I don’t have a specific answer for you but these are the things that have worked for me.

    • Albert Bright Avuokeye on October 18, 2020 at 11:51 pm

      I Believe you Must have truly done all you can but here’s something you might have missed in your waiting season:
      One valid lesson you will learn when waiting on God is that he is a King and is under no obligation to succumb to measures and expected way or pattern of responding or profering a Solution to a Matter or problem.

      When you ask anything from God, Out of 100% ,80% of the time we unconsciously put on an attitude in our faith and prayers that is absent on seeking his will and way for answering the prayers but focused on our suppose intention and expected way for it to be answered.

      Trusting in God means Casting off all your confidence in all form of fleshly or mundane Providence but entirely on God. And position your to seek his will Concerning what you’re asking.

      Lastly God’s Communication mode Sometimes we ask and don’t listen the right way but relying on our natural senses to convey supernatural information which will disappoint you.

      Before the time of your asking you must have learnt the unique communication mode in which God conveys and seals his instructions in your spirit to guide you, That is you must have a track record of practicing the voice of God before the time when a great decision of your life depends on you apprehending the voice of GOD.

      It takes time to Skillfully navigate the voice of God and discern accurately how he speaks to you first via the word then through your spirit , This part requires you to Stay long in prayers , The realm of The spirit is like energy levels there’s a realm you break into as you press hard and long in prayers (Praying in tongues) And you will at some point break forth and align with a frequency in the Spirit where the voice of God becomes Clear and finds expression diversely according to the will of God but you can be sure you will be directed.

      I hope this helps You.

    • Deborah Eleanor on October 24, 2020 at 3:08 pm

      What if he didn’t give you an answer to that because he has something better for you? A gift of the spirit is long suffering, so i ask you, are you giving God the chance to help produce this gift in you. God loves you with everything, God said in his word that faith pleases him. How dare you say a God that loves faith and is so pleased by it will then go ahead an sow a seed of doubt. It’s the devil who does that. Are you with God only for the good days? What about the bad days? Abram left everything to go to a land a voice told him to go to… While he was there in the land he went through so much. Did he question God? Did he allow the seed of doubt grow? With everything you’ve said, I need you to examine yourself. If you were Job, would you have already cursed God or not? You said God hasn’t done anything for you but I bet you have a roof over your head. You have food for the night. There’s coronavirus but you are still breathing, natural disasters but you are still alive. You have so much, God has given you so much but you are so focused on the bad you aren’t looking at the good. Open your eyes, no one said as christains it’s meant to be easy. You want God to answer your prayers but what is your attitude in this time of waiting, Job inhis time of waiting still praised and worshipped God…. Is that the same thing you are doing. Sarah was barren, if it were you would you have believed or also laughed… Will you read this message and pick your faith up or laugh and ignore… Romans 8:28 says all things work together for good to those who love God… So why do you doubt? A God who didn’t spare his only son for your sake, wouldn’t he do what you ask him. As long as you’re believing God is working… Didn’t Jesus teach to pray without ceasing? He said keep asking, is that what you are doing. Are you truly trusting God? Are you going to lose faith because of this… Will you beat your chest and say with all confidence that God has done nothing for you? Christains are being persecuted on China but you can still praise God in the comfort of your home and you still complain…. When last did you say thank you to God? Because a thankful heart wouldn’t grumble. It’s a time of waiting, wait. Have faith in God, don’t listen to the lies of the devil. God loves you, Jesus loves you so so much. The Holy Spirit wants to help, let them. The Bible says, draw nearer to me and I’ll draw nearer to you… You mentioned people who hear from God while you don’t but how determined are you to hear from him? Are you really intentional about this blessing you ask for? How determined to get it are you? Draw nearer to God and he’ll draw closer to you, spend the time and energy used in saying all these to sing praises to God… The Bible says, faith comes from hearing the word of God… When was the last time you studied your Bible? Not just read through, but really studied.. do you do it everyday? How many times a day? How intentional are you to let God draw closer to you?… I’ll stop here, I hope when you read this, the Holy spirit convicts you and you are granted understanding.. God loves you and I’ll be praying for you Kenneth, you will testify … Someone out there is waiting to hear your story and be inspired by how you waited on God for so long and got an amazing answer. So please stay strong and be steadfast, don’t listen to the devils lies.. when you feel down or sad, praise and worship God… Draw nearer to God and be intentional about it, then watch God move. God loves you Kenneth, don’t give up. ❤️

    • Emory on December 16, 2020 at 5:42 pm

      Canyons – Cory Asbury

  29. Returning from the Far Country on September 14, 2020 at 10:01 am

    I would say that there are times where obedience IS going to hurt some people because they don’t understand it. I am thinking of times where we have, through a series of compromises, gotten ourselves into situations and relationships and ways of relating that from a worldly standpoint are just fine. We have a good job, we are getting along okay, we know various people by name and have familiar contacts and places in our lives. We could comfortably stay there and probably from a financial/relational standpoint have an okay life. But inwardly we know we are trucking down the broad road, or we sense strongly that somehow we are moving away from God and not towards Him by the way we are living. We may be fitting in, pleasing everyone, etc but we know somehow we are living a totally dishonest, selfish and inauthentic life where we are not at all being true to God, our own values and beliefs, and we are in fact being shaped by those around us, and even by christian culture, which today is quite compromised . I was in such a position in my life. I realized that a radical about face was required and this was going to hurt It hurt me. It hurt the man I was in a wrong relationship with, though I loved him and he loved me. I couldn’t do it any other way than to just do it now. I realized that if I continued to wait until I was 100 percent sure, I would likely not do it and would find additional reasons to delay something that on a human level, didn’t line up with my feelings and natural desires. Being human with a fleshly nature, had I waited for absolutely pure motives, and 100 percent died in the wool certainty that this was indeed the will of God, I likely would have not made a decision and had one forced on me instead. Often when I/we make decisions for God, it is impossible to have truly 100 percent pure motives. For instance, the relationship had become hurtful and frustrating so I wasn’t happy. I began feeling in bondage to it and that made me miserable. I realized I had an idolatrous dependency going on that had been a longstanding problem , and this was causing me yet again for the umpteenth time to think in my head and heart about how i wanted to be a truly godly woman and live for God and have true intimacy with Him but in my actual life I was living with a man who was at the very least, extremely carnal and immature in his faith if not someone who had not experience regeneration at all so that meant as a believer I was modeling hypocrisy for him and sinning against him as well as myself and God and others who my sinful choices had hurt. Sometimes when we have set our roots down in wrong soil the only way to fix the problem is radical dislocation and it makes a mess and it hurts. All one can do is to pray and explain to a few the underpinnings of the decision and then obey. I can’t remember what the book was, but there is a character who is trying to leave his town and family to follow Christ and they are all pulling on him trying to dissuade him. Finally he flees with his fingers in his ears, running and crying “Life, life, eternal life”! Sometimes the decisions we need to make are THAT dire and that costly and a bit like what Abraham must have gone through to lay Isaac upon the altar.

    • Coot on September 15, 2020 at 7:22 am

      I am leaving the life I wanted behind and I am about to head down a path I have no clue where I am going.. I’ve haven’t always had a person to be there for me I went on my own before 3 years living in closets, a shed, a tent, a friends trailer but now I am so scared to do I again because trouble finds me… I put my trust in a person and thought we could save faster to get a house, I didn’t end that way now,, I am alone got a bag of clothes and at work scared of were to go because I am entering to path that I know I will end up In a disaster if I have no sound advice,, I am the most loyal soul that walks.. If God had a plan then I mest but if god had the wright person to show up I would trust it and walk the walk with them… Today is my day in this walk I with the the help of prayers makes a move trust, hope, odey, honor, this is going to be the first day of the rest of my life… Amen

  30. Jim on September 9, 2020 at 6:27 am

    God really punished a good single man like me that really wanted to get married and have a family, and being single and alone isn’t fun at all these days when so many others are all settled down. Now i really know why i hate the holidays when they come around.

  31. Anonymous on July 21, 2020 at 9:47 am

    Even Satan made God his bitch.

    • Truth on July 21, 2020 at 7:22 pm

      No, God made satan His bitch when Christ died and rose again. You don’t even know what you’re talking about. You haven’t even read or studied because you wouldn’t make such a stupid comment if you had.

      • Well I Agree on October 3, 2020 at 7:56 am

        He is right you idiot.

  32. James on July 13, 2020 at 5:51 am

    Why is God so very horrible and evil altogether when he punishes many of us good people for no reason at all? I wanted a wife and family that he never gave me which is very unfair when he gave it to so many other men. Why is God so very mean and nasty when it comes to having what would’ve been normal for many of us single men that really wanted to be married? What in the world did we do wrong anyway? God you really suck.

    • Finbar Doran on July 17, 2020 at 4:25 am

      Thanks very much. In the hardest time of my life these words helped.

    • Jim on July 19, 2020 at 6:14 pm

      I am sorry to say I understand. The silence, the NO’s, His rejection, is torture.

    • Truth on July 21, 2020 at 7:18 pm

      God is not mean. I’m going to give it fyi you straight – you don’t know God and haven’t read or studied the Bible if you think that. It is written satan comes to kill, steal and destroy. The pain you’re taking about is thanks to satan so put the blame in there right place. Go listen to Charles Cspps and get your mind right.

      • Atheist on December 11, 2020 at 5:33 pm

        Who the hell is God anyway? Never heard of that Asshole before.

    • Prince Efedudu on August 5, 2020 at 1:36 am

      God is not a man that He should lie. The Bible says ask and you shall be given…….. In Mark 11:23-24 it says if though would have faith as small as a mustard seed you can say to this mountain be though remove and cast into the sea and it shall be so. In verse 24, the Bible says WHAT SO EVER YOU PRAY FOR, BELIEVE IT, IT SHALL COME TO PASS.

      finally, in Hebrew 11:6: the Bible says, without faith it is impossible to see God……. What I am saying in essence is that, when you make any request from God, believe God that it will come to pass, the believing is the FAITH I am talking about. You can get a better definition of faith in Hebrew 11:1.
      Ask God for understanding 🙏 when you read the Bible. God bless you 🙏. You can WhatsApp or call me on +2348035224944 if you need more clarification. Thanks

      • Michelle on September 25, 2020 at 5:27 am

        Well my friend I’m here to tell you that I had enough faith to cover Mt Everest and God did NOT provide. And to add fuel to the fire, I was following His leadership in a four month job hunt – trusting, believing, relying on and leaning in – only to have my hopes shattered when I was told that I didn’t get the position. I got crapped on again.

    • Daniel on August 8, 2020 at 9:55 pm

      Hey there!
      I pray these words will touch you as God intends.
      The love He has for you and us all is deep.
      He shows that when He gave His Son to die for us.
      That shows that He has no intention of burning people He made every attempt to save.
      Unfortunately, we as a human body are not very perfect at all and I Know this is sensitive to you, but our pain right now came from disobedience to God (the original sin) We went out and still search for our standard of happiness and pleasure and good life in general from the world, but all that is broken. The world is corrupted and so are we unless we come to Jesus. Neither we or anything in this world is normal… He is our standard of normal.

    • Josh on August 13, 2020 at 11:45 am


      God is not horribly evil. Your own thoughts about God are. Indeed James if God has not provided a wife, or a family it’s because you couldn’t have handled the responsibility in taking care of them. James, I don’t know where you are in your life, but are you self disciplined at all? Could you make a commitment to your wife and kids and center your focus on Christ in the relationship? James the way you speak tells me you can’t even trust God without a wife and kids, what makes you think God is going to give you what you want with no trust in him to begin with? James, I had to walk with Christ for a solid year as a changed man, and new spirit before God delivered a girlfriend to me, and you know what James. Past the butterfly stage of having a girlfriend, you realize nothing’s changed. You still have to focus on Christ no matter what. Our lives are dependent on him first above everything. I pray blessings to you James, in hopes that the spirit may work through you with much discipline, so that you may either get married to the church, or a helper that God places into your life. God bless.

      Ephesians 5:25: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” You see James, you must know Gods love first before he can trust you to love others.

    • Danielle on August 15, 2020 at 7:20 am

      I’m so sorry you feel this way. We don’t always understand why certain things happen but we learn through faith to trust God. When things do go the way WE think they should does not mean that our idea way the best for us. God has a much broader vision then we do. Have you tried praying? God hears our prayers. God promised Abraham and Sarah who barren but God promises them a child. They were old when Sarah finally got pregnant but there was purpose behind the waiting. God can see the big picture…we just demand we we believe is best for us rather than considering there may be a greater plan for our lives. Pray and ask God for the desires of your heart ❤️

    • Pastor J on August 18, 2020 at 12:34 pm

      To whose definition are you basing good and evil? The Bible plainly says there is none good save one and that is God.
      We are so broken and lost in our sin that we convince ourselves that because we are better than some people that we are good.
      Let me break this down, lets say a terrorist went out on his mission and killed 300 people, men, women and children. Then the next day he sees a hungry person and shares his lunch with him. Does that kind action wipe away his evil action? When we call ourselves good based on our works we think God owes us something because we are partly good. When in fact he owes us nothing, it was all paid for on the cross.
      God does not owe you a wife, you should have sought one and did the things people do to find a wife, perhaps he tried to send you one over and over and you did not like the options he laid out for you and because you kept rejecting he stopped sending. Unfair is having to leave the beauty of heaven to come and die on a cross for people who would not appreciate the sacrifice you made and think they owe you more.
      Set your affections on things above and not on things of this world. We did a lot wrong and we do wrong every day we are alive. we offend him with our sin.
      Gods laws and thinking are not the same as ours and when we get human logic in the way we truly complicate the relationship. God is not mean or nasty, he told us clearly what is expected of us and outside of that we are mean and nasty.
      I suggest you ask him to change your heart, renew your relationship with him and bask in his goodness . Praying for you

      • God Created Better Women In The Past on August 30, 2020 at 2:45 pm

        Well i feel as bad just like the other guy that wanted a wife and family too, and i really hate being single and alone as well. And didn’t God say that man shouldn’t be alone? I really believe so. The real problem is that God didn’t create women just like he did in the old days that made love so much easier to find back then, and most women back then were the very complete opposite of today. Now most women nowadays are very high maintenance, independent, and they really don’t need us men anymore the way they act now, very selfish, greedy, spoiled, picky, and very money hungry as well. So with all their very high unrealistic expectations and standards that they have now these days, well that certainly does make it very difficult for many of us good single men to be accepted by most of these women that are everywhere now unfortunately. What would God say about that one since many of us men really aren’t too blame at all? It has become very dangerous now for many of us men just to say good morning or hello to a woman that we think would be really nice too meet. Quite a change in the women today compared to the old days, that is for sure.

        • Kari on October 23, 2020 at 2:21 am

          Expectations and life, in general are different for women now too. I think some men misinterpret women. What seems glossy and good is a lie. In the opposite retrospect, I can walk past a man in a grocery store…and tell I get the “I’m too this and too that.” He doesn’t even know me. I suggest not assuming… you may be preventing a true connection.

      • Nate on February 25, 2021 at 10:42 am

        “When we call ourselves good based on our works we think God owes us something because we are partly good.”

        I was just discussing this with my wife as I’ve been going through reading the 1689 Confession of Faith. In Chapter 16, paragraph 7, it states (in a modern English translation):

        Works done by unregenerate people may in themselves be commanded by God and useful to themselves and others. Yet they do not come from a heart purified by faith and are not done in a right manner according to the Word nor with a right goal—the glory of God. Therefore, they are sinful and cannot please God. They cannot qualify anyone to receive grace from God, and yet their neglect is even more sinful and displeasing to God.

        So how do I (we) address a person who thinks that God owes us favors because of our works?

        The only thing I can think of to do is to pray for them; to ask that God would reveal to their hearts a need for faith/belief/trust in Jesus and His work on our behalf at the cross.

        Here’s the link to the 1689 Confessional section on good works:

        • Guest on March 16, 2021 at 4:47 pm

          You’re very lucky to have a wife and family that many of us single guys still don’t have today, and would’ve really wanted that as well. God unfortunately has failed many of us in different ways.

    • Jan on September 1, 2020 at 7:40 am

      Dear James,
      Does God have to do what you want Him to do for you to believe in Him? Does He have to do things your way and in your timetable for you to believe in Him? Is God your personal vending machine?
      God loves you more than you know and wants what’s best for you. (He gave His Son up for you so you could love Him and know true happiness and have a full life, real life eternally. Trust Him and be faithful and obedient.
      I pray you will put Christ first in your life and know true joy.

      • Not Single By Choice on December 11, 2020 at 5:46 pm

        There are so many other men out there just like me that wanted a wife and family as well, since i do know quite a few of them today myself. Why should we be single and alone when life really sucks as it is, and to be all alone as well really sucks on top of it all? It is like a double whammy for us altogether, and it is very easy for us to really hate the holidays when they come around. So much for God saying that man should not be alone. And it is very obvious why married men live much longer too.

    • Cathy on October 4, 2020 at 9:15 am

      Sometimes we focus on the wrong stuff. Even in prayer we’re commanding God with our prescriptions and we forget we don’t get to be God. We either trust him or not. I am sorry life hasn’t turned out as you wished. I have been married to an alcoholic for 36 years and with God’s help I am grieving that life didn’t turn out as I would have liked. He gave me free will and choices were made—-sometimes unwise. But when I pray for things like wisdom, clarity, forgiveness and strength rather than outcomes I can maneuver through life. I pray the same for you James. Your sister in Christ.

    • Only4_Christ on March 19, 2021 at 7:40 am

      First, You are not a good person! None of us are. Second, If you’re mad at God, for being single. Firstly, that who are married, let them tell you what’s going on in their life personally. If you’re single, it’s not a problem. Some people are not fit to be married. If you’re not getting your answers like right now, where’s your faith.? Faith is what you need! Daniel prayed for 3 weeks and got his answer answered. Maybe you’ve been praying for years but are you giving thanks to him, and letting his Will be done. NO. Why because all you’re looking for is his blessing, That can’t work.

      • Guest on March 23, 2021 at 7:58 am

        Many of us really hate God and always will for punishing us in different ways, when there are many of us very good men out there looking for love and can’t find it at all. Many of us never did anything wrong to be punished this way, and having a wife and family would had been a very wonderful thing to have. God should’ve never punished us this way, and i know other single friends that feel the very same way as well. Most women back in the past were very good to meet at that time, and today they really have changed making love very impossible to find for so many of us single men now unfortunately. And Feminism has really made it much worse for many of us men too. Not having children either is even much more difficult for many of us as well, since we have nothing to fall back on. Imagine going through life for so many of us men with no wife and family at all, that is really no fun either since many of us really need to be loved.

  33. Brelan Knighten on June 21, 2020 at 7:22 am

    Be thorough, when speculating on a new venture, but always remember, you came from a place where you can’t remember, you are not supposed to. In essence you were dead. Do not fear that,…you have been dead before, yet you live now, and you will die again…it’s called eternal life.

  34. Marcedes on June 11, 2020 at 4:49 pm

    Hello, My name is Marcedes and I read your article or piece lol. Anyway I always believed in God(always) but, I wasn’t always making the right decisions. I recently got saved in 2018. I made mistakes since then due to the fact I am still young in Christ. But I really try my best. Even when I am feeling down and out. Right now I am battling and praying against fear. Praying to overcome it’s sinful nature. My mind wonders on how I should spread Gods gospel. Should I just walk around the streets and ask tell people about God. Or should I do it the way I know. Post scriptures on my social page and talk about God on there where about almost 5000 people can see. Either way can get a message out to God. But I don’t want to just walk up to someone and say do you know God. I don’t want to seem weird (which I know is a problem because I shouldn’t care what no thinks about me) and don’t want to be an annoyance to anyone either. I don’t want to be afraid to spread his word. I am not a shame in God or believing in him. When people and even friends being up God I start to talk about him with no issues. Sometimes it even turns into an argument. But I want to be peaceful. But to just go up and ask someone out of the blue do they know God seems weird. And I am only being honest because God loves when where honest and true even though he already knows. I don’t want to be afraid of whatever my calling is.

    • Prince Efedudu on August 5, 2020 at 1:56 am

      @mercedes the Bible told us in Acts 1:8b….. and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

      And also in Matthew 28: 19-20 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

      When Jesus was ascending to heaven, He promised to give us a comforter, which is in the person of the Holy Spirit. Whenever you want to spread God’s word whether by going to the streets, social media, radio, TV or any other means. Before you embark on it, ask the Holy Spirit to help you on what to say and He will. The Holy Spirit leaves inside of us, so He hears us when we seek His help. For example, to start a conversation with your friend or anyone when you want to preach to them, you can start with: DO YOU KNOW JESUS LOVES YOU? WHO IS THE MAN CALLED JESUS? WHERE IS HEAVEN LOCATED? etc. From there conversation has started already…….
      In summary, we need the help of the Holy Spirit in all we do.
      If you have any question/inquiry about the bible message me on Facebook @prince efedudu or on WhatsApp @+2348035224944

  35. Jeff on May 7, 2020 at 2:12 pm

    Thank you for your comments. I, too, am in a time of waiting and decision making. God has been working in my life in very specific ways over the past few years and now is no different.

    Background –
    I was a pastor for 20+ years. I moved with my family from NY to Cincinnati in 2008 to start a church. I had 4 pastors giving me $400,000 plus 50 people to start my church. Little did I know I would move at the height of the Great Recession. It was within days of moving that all four pastors called and withdrew the money and the people. I was unemployed with 4 children and a wife. I soon got a job delivering pizzas and made a whopping $17,000 the first year. But God provided. I still attempted to get a church started but with working 2 and sometimes 3 jobs while doing so almost put me in the hospital. The next few years would test our family unlike anything we’ve ever known.

    Fast forward to 2016.
    It was in January that I first had the thought that I should quit my pizza delivery job and rely solely upon the school bus job I also had. The difficulty was that I really needed the pizza job since it was my income while the school provided great benefits. And losing the pizza job would drop me below what I needed to survive. My wife also worked as an in-home babysitter at the time. It took me 9 months to finally respond to God’s Spirit to leave the job. It felt like I’d thrown my family under the bus I’d been driving. But God provided and we never missed a payment on anything and, in fact, paid off over $10,000 worth of debt the next year. But then it happened. God spoke again. And it was while I was standing in the atrium at our church that God said, “I want you to leave the school job, too”. What!? Are you kidding me?! How? When? Why? But I knew it was God. So, I submitted my resignation on October 31, 2017 and was unemployed January 1, 2018. I had no idea what God was doing.

    Over the next several months God would work in me like never before. He dug around and prodded and poked and revealed things I never thought were there. He was cleaning house and I was the house.

    My wife was the breadwinner and every month she would tell me what the previous month’s “financial miracle” was. We were ecstatic because not only was every bill paid and paid on time, but God also paid off $3500 worth of debt in 7 months. God had proven himself in every way. But it was one day while sitting on the porch swing with my wife that I told her that I felt God had showed me that this wasn’t the last time this would happen. And the next time would be longer and more intense.

    God provided a new job on July 5, 2018. It was a great job and God truly blessed. Over the course of the following year we were able to pay off $20,000 worth of debt and we were thanking God every single moment for his incredible blessing. And then he did it again.

    It was in late April, early May of 2019 that I had a double whammy. God filled me with two different thoughts and emotions. One was that I was to quit this job and trust him. The other was this overwhelming feeling, like 100 Christmas mornings wrapped up in one, this thought of being the senior pastor at the church where our family attended. It wasn’t an invitation but more like an ordination. But it didn’t seem right because our church had a pastor and it didn’t seem he was leaving anytime soon. And besides, our church is quite large and I’ve never been pastor of a church larger than 600. Within 2-3 weeks the pastor emotion left but the very strong leading to quit my job didn’t. So, I put my note in to quit my job a second time on August 31, 2019.

    It’s been just over 8 months now and I’m still unemployed. Oh, and what I forgot to mention is that my wife also quit her job of babysitting for 30 years because she said she very strongly felt the same thing I was feeling. And to add to the story, both my wife and I and the daughter who still lives at home felt extremely led to pack up our house as if we were moving. So we packed the majority of our house that’s still in boxes and neither my wife nor I have had any income for over 8 months. Yes, we’ve had to occasionally use or credit cards for groceries, etc. but God has also provided money from various sources as well. I’ve applied to approximately 200 jobs since then and only a small handful of jobs have opened to me. And the ones that have opened to me, both my wife and I have agreed God was saying, “No” too.

    I’ll add here that about 6 weeks ago our board of trustees had to let our pastor go for reasons we know not of. Apparently, things weren’t going well between he and them and it had become quite apparent in his sermons and actions. So we now don’t have a pastor and what happened last year continues to resonate in my mind and heart. I’m not pursuing it and leaving that part up to God. I do, however, continue to serve God in the church in various ways.

    We’re out of money. We have no income and no savings. And yet, every time a job comes open we get a feeling of resistance toward it. We have no desire to continue to go further into debt with credit cards but we have to if God doesn’t provide a job or income. So we wait. Literally.

    I spend a great deal of time pursuing God, not just for a job, but for the purpose of knowing him. We’ve talked to some great people who we have huge confidence in for counsel but there’s never a direction one way or the other. We live surrendered lives in every way we know.

    Thanks for listening and believe it or not, there are A LOT of details missing here but you get the gist.

    • Kriben on August 12, 2020 at 6:09 pm

      If God is not real, then what is real.?

  36. Atheist Man on May 2, 2020 at 7:16 pm

    God isn’t real, and never was.

    • Prince Efedudu on August 5, 2020 at 2:06 am

      My dear please read the whole book of Genesis and you will thank me later. God is real and He’s omnipresent. He’s present right where you are and present right where I am. God is good

  37. Kathy on May 1, 2020 at 8:23 pm

    I’ve been in a relationship nearly 7 years. He is in recovery 13 years from addiction. He and I have a wonderful relationship,however, he recently revealed a life of sexual trauma. Since this revelation things are distant, friendly but no future discussed or commitment mentioned. I love him and we get along great. I do not want just friendship. But he is firm in standing in this place. He is in therapy but the therapy has shifted this relationship. What do I do? I’m praying for so many things and directions and tru clarity is simply not happening yet my gut says be patient while this revealed sexual trauma works through healing. Im not needing a definitive answer this second but am I do want to know what I should be doing. I want more but do I just wait or let go or stand still and simple be his friend for now to help him through the therapeutic process. I’m lost and I’m praying but nothing. Help

    • Zane on May 4, 2020 at 9:28 am

      Kathy on May 1st, 2020

      Hello there,

      Here’s my 2 cents Kathy & this is coming from a former addict so I know what I’m talking about.

      Kathy, if your significant other has even told you this in the first place please keep in mind that he only made you aware of this because he loves you & trusts you & sees you as one of the only people in the entire World that he’s able to tell without being judged & all the while welcomed with open arms.
      I know you’re already doing this but be patient, don’t be distant to him, & let him lean on you, but don’t confirm what’s already on his mind? Do NOT tell him, “I need you to do this” or try to turn around by saying, “Honey I’m sorry but what about me? I can’t do this anymore.” which I know is difficult because you’re not happy without your man having a smile on his face & as you love him you need to be intimate with him.

      Also when it comes to this next point DO Not be accusatory but this is extremely important. Make sure he is not watching porn because a lot of drug addict become addicted to something else & if it’s not drugs then porn is another addicting & sinful thing that especially someone with an addictive personality can become buried in all the while being kept completely hidden from you & justified to be hidden as to not hurt your feelings.

      Porn not only kills the sex drive but can create feelings of guilt ESPECIALLY between a Husband & Wife & despite what society says about maturation being OK sometimes the Bible says nothing of the sort & of course has a whole mouthful to say about what lusting after the opposite sex with even so much as just a SINGLE THOUGHT can do to a loving relationship.

      The reason I wanted to have you look at porn as the next possibility is because if he’s isolating then there’s some type of guilt he’s hiding from you & if he’s not isolating completely but silently looks at other women on T. V. or out in public or gets awkward when it comes up in conversation I can almost guarantee it’s porn related especially because of how easily accessible it is now. Eventually men and women alike start preferring a video in HD quality of a male or female that’s a perfect 10 to them & their hand or sex toys instead of the real thing with their less than aesthetically perfect husband or wife due to the desensitization that occurs over prolonged periods of time to sexual immorality in the way of porn.

      My advice is not to be immediately obvious about it but bring up some conversation about it to see how he reacts but make sure not to jump to conclusions.

      Here’s an example – you guys are watching t.v. together & a beautiful girl with a perfect body thick ass & titties is right in front of both of you & say, “holy crap she’s beautiful, hey John Doe, what do you think? If he reacts like,”Oh yeah err umm” or just kind of shrugs it of it means 1 or both of a few different things.

      First off if he disappears shortly afterwards into the bathroom or takes a shower or alone after, he’s probably jerkin’ that chicken

      Second, that woman you thought was 10/10 is only a 5/10 because she’s now Aesthetically AVERAGE because he’s only been cumming to gorgeous woman of his choice with a never ending selection & he’s either shrugging it off with guilt or he’ll light up and agree and try to get you into it with him.

      Third, could be his personality type. Again, it’s extremely important to refrain from jumping to any conclusions. You can always check his Internet Browsing History but don’t stop at the computers. Make sure to check every browser & every device, that’s means phones, laptops, tablets & computers & do not leave any evidence that you’re searching for it as well.
      Also, a cleared browser history can sometimes be even WORSE so watch out for that. If there’s literally NOTHING in the, “All Time” Browsing History that’s a cause for alarm.
      & & again make sure to go through all the browsers such as Firefox, Chrome, Internet Explorer etc. (there’s others)

      Now, let’s say you do the above & find out I was right. Do Not go marching downstairs or straight to him & confront him with, “Ah HA! I caught you!!!”
      That’s only going to bring about anger & further isolation.
      I can’t say this enough but don’t become the voice of his subconscious mind as to avoid being a target for him to lash out in anger because we’ve all been there where you’re slacking at work & you get mad when you’re told to pick up the pace.

      As far as what to do if you do find out that he’s been watching porn, I suggest you not only pray to God & let him know that you’re thankful for him answering your prayers but bring up the topic gently & maybe not directly at first, maybe ask his Psychiatrist to talk to him about it if that’s an issue. Maybe you’re already aware of it but don’t think it’s a big issue.

      OH & one more thing, does he have Jesus in his life? Does he pray? If he’s saved, is he backslidden to the point where he never goes to church, never prays, etc? Rmemeber, it’s actually sinful for someone to actually put all of their trust in another person such as a counselor or to do that without heeding God’s word.
      Jeremiah 17:5 Thus the LORD saith, “Cursed is the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord”

      That verse means God comes first in terms of trust. Well, God comes first in general but the Bible makes it very clear you are lost without God & if you could respond with a little bit about that I can give you my 2 cents regarding that as well but just remember to be gentle, super calm, & forgiving with him just like Jesus would & in that way you can show him that once again he doesn’t need to be fearful of your judgment & can tell you anything regardless of what it is but please make sure to remind him that he can do the same with God & only our LORD and Saviour Jesus Christ can bring about solace & in mind & body & if he’s hurting to put more of his trust into God.

      Anyways, I’d love to help more but can only do so much with limited information. I’ll pray for you Kathy & I’ll pray for your Boo as well! ;]

      • Kathy on May 4, 2020 at 9:36 am

        THANK U SO MUCH FOR YOUR INFO AND UNDERSTANDING THE ADDICTION PART!!! yes hes working a good recovery and is working with Christ. Ill take your advice and move cautiously and again thank u and God bless!!!

  38. Deepu Joy on February 28, 2020 at 1:41 am


    • Rachel Burnette on March 7, 2020 at 11:28 am

      I’ve thought about launching an ebook a long time. My life is unusual, and I want to offer people hope and encouragement like Christ has me. I went for it a week ago, but no sales. I never would want to hurt my family financially, but it seems that’s all I do with my brainy ideas. I pray that God would increase my ability to know whether an investment is of him or not. I don’t mind risking and I know God is good, but it equally hurts when I risk still waiting to use a license I acquired in 2018 and now this book. I feel stupid and like I’ve taken from my family and in different ways I know I have. It makes me sad when all you want to do is please God, but nothing lines up. I suppose it’s just back to the drawing board knowing one day it will all make sense. In the meantime, I’ll get comfortable being very uncomfortable with my results. So many times I want to quit. I want to quit trying to help because it doesn’t seem like I’m making a difference at all. Yet, here I am. Exploring. Still trying to find God’s perfect will in this situation. Press! Press! Press! That’s what’ll do.

    • Marc and Mom on March 13, 2020 at 6:56 pm

      My elderly mother and I live together and are in a home we must vacate soon, we cannot seem to find a decent home under 115k here in North Texas, its getting so frustrating watching maybes become no’s as investors snatch up every good deal and jack the prices up 100%, I feel very hopeless about our deadline and my mother says God has this under control, I want to believe he does, but she has made decisions before with this reasoning that did not end up fruitful, and I spent years resenting those faith based decisions, I thinks sometimes she has such a fear of making her own decisions she relies too much on faith for signs that I think are not always good, or real, faith I do believe is important, but inaction in every little decision because faith seems foolish to me, make a decision, put in the effort, do things and pray for guidance with your due diligence, but to do nothing but pray and wait until you see something you attribute as a direction? It seems impossible to me to constantly live that way about everything…even when later on that was a bad thing, or harmful…I hope I’m making sense. God gave us autonomy and free will to live and do, and trust him of course in times of need, but also to do things using our brains and wisdom he gave us and we learn. I feel she is paralyzed by her faith and its more often than not fear at the root and the end result tends to be the final option and so she takes that as God, idk, God please forgive me and know I am just tired and weary of this time, it’s too much, too many variables in so many aspects of our lives right now, we need deliverance and result right now, I can’t bare much more turmoil, I’m asking for your hand to move and make things come together, give us some relief, we need finality, I need to breathe easy and regroup. Please Lord. It is important to be thankful for all the Lord does in our lives and the things he doesn’t do that we think are good, its his will only that I want because it will produce fruit. Please Lord.

      • Kimberly on March 30, 2020 at 8:49 pm

        I know what it’s like to want to cry out to church family online. And I know what it’s like to feel as if life is relenting on God’s every promise. But just cry out to Jesus, and, like your mom, wait for answers in the quiet of your heart. Maybe you can prayerfully consider talking with your mom about selecting an assisted-living home. Lutheran Services is among many Christian groups that seem to have a strong, faithful nurse-home system in Texas. And, at the same time, maybe prayerfully think about any direction for yourself that you haven’t asked for already. Talk with your mom. And talk with Heaven. … Even if it’s Heaven’s intent for you to take care of your mom the rest of her days, there are lots of people doing so without a lot of expense. Just pray, do your research, and talk as needed.

    • Randy Adams on March 14, 2020 at 1:27 pm

      I am making the decision whether to continue in ministry situations
      even though my wife is in her late 70’s and more susceptible to the
      Corona virus. We co-pastored a church for 12 years. The last thing
      I want to do is infect her. I am probably going to curtail my ministry
      situations until after the virus peaks and dissipates. In the beginning
      I wanted to step out by faith and continue preaching and teaching
      but Godly wisdom tells me that my wife’s health is more important
      and that this is only for a season. I appreciate any comments.

      • Anna on March 30, 2020 at 7:16 am

        Praying for wisdom.
        My own two cents is to continue in the ministry that you already have, not adding anything, and to do it with care as if you were a doctor treating his patients, who has the same situation with his wife. The souls of people are at stake, not just their physical bodies. Find someone who can take over for you or you can train to do so. Do this quickly, but not rushed. Then go home and take care of your wife for the rest of your days. Do not worry about provision because God takes care of his own. God be with you.

      • Prince Efedudu on August 5, 2020 at 2:21 am

        God’s word is ever true and cannot lie. Read the whole of Psalm 91

        He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
        I will say of the Lord , “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler And from the perilous pestilence.
        He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
        You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor of the arrow that flies by day, Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.
        A thousand may fall at your side, And ten thousand at your right hand; But it shall not come near you.
        Only with your eyes shall you look, And see the reward of the wicked.
        Because you have made the Lord , who is my refuge, Even the Most High, your dwelling place, No evil shall befall you, Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways.
        In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
        You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.
        “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
        He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him.
        With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation.”
        Psalms 91:1‭-‬16 NKJV

        In as much we must carryout every safety precautions concerning the novelty Corona virus (wearing of nose mask, washing your hands regularly or using hand sanitizer etc), God’s word must still be preached to bless life.
        Truly, it is season like this we know who has faith in God and trust Him. It in season like this, you know a mere church goer and a faith believing Child of God.
        For more message me on Facebook @Prince Efedudu or Whatsapp me @+2348035224944

        God bless you 🙏

    • Leba AhabiYA Halofaki on April 10, 2020 at 3:42 am

      Enjoyed reading through that.
      Yes, make the decision which you entrusted to God before making and will entrust Him with your tomorrows and the outcome of your decision. LET GOD!!

  39. HE on February 27, 2020 at 3:26 am

    I have learnt that …
    We are ordinary people serving an Extra Ordinary God
    Obedience is much better than being too clever
    Being lonely is ok if we understand that He will never leave or forsake us
    Pain, Disappointment, Worry, Uncertainty are all part and parcel of the journey of being carried by Himwho leaving His footprint on the sand
    I have learnt that it’s Ok to love Him even though we feel at times abandoned.
    The Fathers blessing on all of you.

  40. TCMD on February 11, 2020 at 4:32 pm

    I am a divorced Christian man, whose marriage was ended by an unfaithful wife after 9 years. I have healed and have gotten back out into the dating world. I have connected with someone that is a very special woman, and someone that has shown me what it truly means to be a partner in a relationship. We’ve only been seeing each other for a few months, but we have grown through our relationship tremendously. We both love the Lord and have made that a priority in our day to day. She was raised Catholic and I am a Non-Denominational Christian. Through our discussions I believe we are very aligned on things like salvation and developing a direct relationship with God. We currently are attending each other’s church services to gain better alignment with each other and understand how our relationships with God have formed through our lives. She has made it clear that if we were to progress into marriage and children, she would want to raise them in the Catholic church (while also attending church services within my home church). This makes me uncomfortable some, but I struggle to understand if it is something that would be compromising to my own faith. I’ve had the feeling of “If God is the center of our relationship, why would God be a reason to end it?” My family disagrees with me and does not approve of the idea of moving forward in this relationship, but I think that may be Wisdom Killing My Trust? At this time, this relationship is worth the risk, and I don’t want to over think things.

    I have prayed over this relationship a lot over the past couple months, and we’ve even prayed together. My prayers have always left me feeling calm, and encourage to move forward with the relationship, so when I read this message (and some of the comments) I feel peace that God is telling it is worth the risk at this time. “Love God and do whatever you please: for the soul trained in love to God will do nothing to offend the One who is Beloved.”

    I guess I just wanted to put this out there and see if there is something that I may be missing that I haven’t thought of yet. We continue to learn about the differences/similarities of our upbringing, but I feel encouraged.

    • Loret on February 12, 2020 at 12:38 am

      Catholics pray to the Virgin Mary which is not supported by the bible. The have Saints they revere and pray to also not supported by the bible. The Rosary is not in the bible. In Fact, God says not to pray by rote Matt 6:7. Catholics do not base their beliefs on the bible alone but also give equal importance to church tradition. The dogma of the Pope contradicts the bible. The continuous chain of apostolic succession from the Apostle Peter to give authority over the lay people also contradicts the bible. Christianity is not about consecrating specific people but rather the belief that anyone may be called of God, man or woman. Unless one is Catholic they are not allowed to participate in communion so rather than salvation being the right of participation it is “membership” to the catholic church that is upheld as the right to partake in communion. These are some of the differences I know and they don’t line up with God’s word no matter what. I feel you two are much further apart in your beliefs than you realize. God says don’t be unequally yoked 2 Cor. 6:14 and if you are trying to blend 2 different belief systems into one, then that is being unequally yoked. You asked if God is the center of your relationship why would He end it? Because you 2 really are not on the same page about Him. Lastly, you quote saint Augustine……that quote goes against the bible. There is no where in the bible that says “do what ever you please” and yes we can love God and still offend Him. Augustine mixed agnostic views with christianity and was a follower of Plotinus who believed there was the “One” supreme being. Yet the Catholic Church canonized him and made him a saint……

      • C Buff on February 20, 2020 at 10:40 pm

        I have recently began talking to someone online who I have never met. He is long distance and I am a natural skeptic. I didn’t think anything would come of it but as we have been talking for months, I have felt so much peace about it. When I turn to my friends I am filled with lots of fear and doubt about being deceived but when I pray about it, I feel a lot of Gods peace and feel like God is telling me to just trust. I am choosing to trust that God will reveal all things I the end as I continue on to grow this relationship that I feel has been unlike any others, in how we communicate and share and encourage one another in our faith. I continue to pray and put it in Gods hands and continue to receive peace and encouragement. This is hard for me but I am choosing to believe that whatever happens, whether success or failure I will be ok because in the end I am choosing to trust God and his hand in all things.

      • JM on February 22, 2020 at 1:01 pm

        Catholics believe that saints are our friends in Heaven. Just as we ask our friends on earth to pray for us, we ask our friends in Heaven to pray for us. In the Hail Mary, Catholics ask for Mary to pray for us. “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you, blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus (Luke 1:28,31 ), Holy Mary, Mother of God pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.”

        In the Rosary, Catholics meditate on the mysteries of Christ while praying the Hail Mary. For instance, the 5 sorrowful mysteries are: The Agony in the Garden (Matthew 26:36-46), The Scourging at the Pillar (Mark 15:15), The Crowning with Thorns (Mark 15:17), The Carrying of the Cross (John 19:17), and The Crucifixion (John 19:18).

        Catholics believe that the Eucharist is the actual body and blood of Jesus Christ. (John 6:55-66). Belief in this “true presence” is needed to participate in Holy Communion (see 1 Corinthians 11:27-30) in the Catholic Church.

        • Rhonda Landry on February 23, 2020 at 1:57 am


          We are not supposed to be praying to anyone but God. The bible says that Jesus is our intercessor… Not Mary or anyone else. So our prayers are heard by people in heaven?? Please provide supporting scripture on that?? We pray to God only. The one who hears our prayers… And knows what we are going to ask before we even ask it. Mary… And the other ‘friends’ are not listening to our prayers or answering requests from those still on Earth.

          Where do ppl come up with this stuff??

          • JM on February 23, 2020 at 1:30 pm

            Rev 5:8

      • Rhonda on February 23, 2020 at 1:48 am

        Great response. These were my thoughts as well. I didn’t know about Augustine but I knew that was not at all a biblical quote. I believe a child of God stands still until God directs. We should never just make a decision. If God hasn’t given direction yet he just hasn’t. Otherwise we put God on our own time clock and we don’t trust His timing. Great article but the writer lost me at that quote.

    • Rhonda Landry on February 23, 2020 at 1:44 am

      Catholicism and Christianity are nothing alike. In other words she’s Catholic… Not a Christian which you are. That’s a major issue. You’re unequally yoked. That’s why you have an issue already when deciding how you would raise kids. How can two walk together unless they agree??

      When trying to hear clearly from God it’s important to shut other people’s opinions out for a ‘time’. In order to hear only from Him. But in this case I will say the bible answers your dilemma specifically. Don’t overlook that.


    • Kathy H. on March 6, 2020 at 12:59 pm

      You may agree on some spiritual things, but what do you disagree on? Those are the areas that will cause problems later on. Did Mary remain a virgin? The Bible says No; Catholicism says Yes. That’s a problem. Who is the Head of the Church: Jesus or the Pope? Problem. What is the final authority: the Holy Bible or the Pope’s declarations? Problem. The list goes on.

      Here is a question for you: Are you willing to give her up and wait to see if God brings her back to you? If not, then you’re not following God’s way. If you are, then you should probably do that and let God reign in your life.

    • Jane De Vries on March 8, 2020 at 2:13 am

      To: TCMD
      I would line up all the ways her Catholic beliefs do and not do align up with scripture. I’ve met born again Catholics but some still hold to many of the Catholic beliefs that aren’t in the Bible, this could be an unequally yoked relationship as the Bible teaches. I may be wrong but the very fact she has already told you how you will raise your children doesn’t sound right. If your family is emotionally healthy, I would consider strongly what they are saying. Sometimes we get blinded by love. One last point. I would investigate, and maybe you have, what part did you play in your divorce and wife’s unfaithfulness. She had that in her before you were married. In a way, you allowed it and supposedly unaware, but I believe it takes 2 to Tango. What things looking back did you overlook? Were you in any way enabling her to be unfaithful without recognizing it? I think a time out for prayer and fasting would be appropriate. “Search me Oh God, and know me, see if there be any wicked way in me.” After the honeymoon is over, I heard it can be brutal trying to become one. May God open your heart and mind to see clearly.

      • Loret on March 8, 2020 at 2:26 am

        Hold on. When it comes to one spouse cheating on the other, the cheater is solely responsible. Even the bible lays this responsibility solely on the cheater. Math 5:27-30. It is an extraordinarily difficult and complex situation to repair and most cannot. So lets not blame the victim. As far as the rest of you advice, it is good advice.

        • Kathy H. on March 8, 2020 at 5:11 pm

          I don’t see where Matt 5:27-30 is laying the blame in the sense that the other spouse didn’t play a role. A woman needs to keep her man interested in her. A man needs to make sure his wife knows she loves him, daily. Women don’t understand how a man is enticed by the looks of other women, and men don’t understand that women need constant reassurance of his love for her.

          It’s true that the cheater isn’t being faithful, but that doesn’t mean that the other person didn’t push him/her away somehow. A relationship involving two people requires the work of both people to keep the relationship going. I know someone who blames her husband for the divorce, but I see where she pushed him away, ignoring him, bossing him, and so on. Her eyes are blind to her own faults and the role that she played in it. That doesn’t excuse him, of course. He’s still the one who left. I’m just saying that, as the other person said, it takes two to tango.

          There’s a book called “Love Life” (can’t remember the author) which has a chapter in it telling how one person (one of the spouses) can save the marriage.

          • Loret on March 9, 2020 at 5:13 pm

            Kathy H, I’m not going to answer you again. You are wrong about a spouse “pushing” another into an affair. As the former wife of a cheater, I did nothing to deserve my husband taking his body into another woman’s bed and emotionally divorcing me. Cheating is NEVER the victims fault or responsibility.

    • Joanne on March 28, 2020 at 10:25 pm

      If you have children you understand what God means by being our Father. In raising my children I learned that they did not all get my lessons in the same way – I had to reach them differently. You are praying to the same God – She may need to hear the message differently – and your children may need different guidence altogether.
      Be open and allow God’s spirit to enter so each person understands, We are all different and will take different paths – as long as we reach the same end – that is all that matters.

  41. Christina on February 4, 2020 at 2:11 pm


    I’m currently pregnant after an early loss this summer. I had a dream at the beginning of this pregnancy that I had a baby girl named Sophia. The beginning of a pregnancy, especially after a loss, is very scary and the dream was very comforting. Turns out, I’m pregnant with a girl and now my husband and everyone says I have to name her Sophia. I do believe it was sign or message from God to comfort and reassure me but I’m not at peace with the name Sophia. I want to name her Eliana which means God answered me but am I ignoring God’s message for her to be named Sophia?

    • Carey Nieuwhof on February 5, 2020 at 6:48 pm

      Hey Christina,

      Do you have a pastor that you can trust that you could talk about this with? I can see the argument either way, someone who knows you better might be able to give better counsel than I.

      Cheering for you!

      • Christina on February 6, 2020 at 12:15 pm


        I do and have reached out. Thank you for your response!

        • Jiri on February 8, 2020 at 6:47 pm

          I honor you. This message speaks about fear masked as wisdom. Do not be afraid to make a decision. Sophia, Eliana, both are beautiful names for a beautiful daughter that you cherish. Let me share a bit of my story to edify you. Me and my wife came up with many names before we lost our two pregnancies. I was too worried to make the right choice. Turns out any name would be a blessing if the little ones came to be. And guess what, regarding your child you don’t even have to make the choice. She can be Sophia Eliana if you want. Or either one. God wants no malice on your soul. It is the devil that likes to see you worried. The truth is YOU are fully qualified as the mother and God gave you full authority to name her. And God has used me as someone who is gaining resistance to worrying today to deliver this message to you. Do not be worried, and please do not worry about having to obey by picking a name. Jesus gave his life for you in an act of genuine love. His name was Yeshua, people know him as many names, e.g. Christ. There might be a time in life when your daughter becomes Sophia for a specific reason and I pray you will witness that and that it will be glorious. The important thing is for you to focus on growing that precious life instead of worrying. Life is not about you or me as selfish individuals with burdens, it is about us as people together overcoming those burdens. May you and your family stay blessed in Christ Christina.

          • Christina on February 11, 2020 at 12:42 pm

            Thank you so much for your response and insight. I really do appreciate you taking the time to provide me with such a thoughtful answer. I’ve reread your message several times and find a lot of comfort in what you have written. We will continue to pray for her and her name with a lighter heart and mind and thank you again.

    • Kathy H. on March 6, 2020 at 1:04 pm

      What does your husband say? It’s his baby, too.

      • Christina on March 6, 2020 at 3:22 pm

        Of course it’s also his baby which is why I mentioned in my original post what he says. I should mention that we have decided on a name, Eliana Sophia, since my original post. When we first found out it was a girl his first reaction was that we should name her Sophia. However, he has been very clear. If it were 100% only up to him he would name her Sophia to be on the safe side if that is what God intended with my dream for her to be named Sophia, but he’s also seen me struggle and pray and reach out for guidance and how I keep coming back to Eliana and he is fully on board with naming her Eliana Sophia as well. He said since I’m the one who had the dream and have been struggling with it, he’ll leave the order in which we name her up to me. He doesn’t feel conflicted at all and supports whatever I come to peace with through prayer. Dream aside he prefers Eliana but we are both happy knowing that Sophia will be included in her name.

  42. PJ on February 2, 2020 at 2:12 pm

    I recently started a new job, and have gone through 2 weeks of training. In the short time that I’ve been there, I’ve realized there is a position within the company that would better suite me and my future career goals. I want to apply for the other position, but i don’t want to step on anyone’s toes or offend the company since I’ve only just started in the new position. Should i take a risk and apply for whAt i truly want? Or should i invest more time into the position I’ve just started and wait it out? I’m tired of settling in my life, and i just want to make smart and powerful career moves. Thank you for this post! It’s really helped!

    • Clair on February 3, 2020 at 2:57 am

      Apply for job you want. Don’t worry about other people. Follow God only. I have made many huge mistakes in my life listening and worrying about what other people think and say. Get a vision and wisdom from God and go for it. Ignore everything else.

      • PJ on February 4, 2020 at 7:26 pm

        I appreciate your response! Thank you! I ended up speaking with my supervisor about the position and found out i needed a few months in my current position before i could apply and transfer into the new role. It felt good to go for it and now i have a new goal to work towards!

    • Carey Nieuwhof on February 3, 2020 at 3:55 pm

      Is this something you could explain to your current supervisor?

      They might be able to give you guidance on what you can do to get that position.

      • PJ on February 4, 2020 at 7:29 pm

        Great advice, Carey. I ended up speaking with my supervisor about the position and found out i would need to be in my current position for a few months before i can apply and transfer into the new role. I really appreciate your insight with this. Doing this allowed me to put myself out there for once, and also build better rapport with my supervisor. Thank you!

        • Carey Nieuwhof on February 5, 2020 at 6:39 pm

          So glad to hear that you had that conversation. I hope that you get that position in a few months.

          Cheering for you!

  43. JM on January 16, 2020 at 5:07 am

    We were supposed to go on a short-term mission to the Philippines when the news of a sudden volcanic eruption put a hold on the plans. It could have been easier if it happened long before the mission. However, we got the news of the safety concern while at the airport waiting for our flight. Naturally, the question of whether to push through or cancel came up. And as we prepared to wait for the flight to resume (the Philippine airport had already cancelled all operations by then), we had the whole night to make a decision.
    Our mission team is comprised actually of 2 churches working together. The bigger group is a seasoned missional church who regularly goes to the Philippines twice a year since 2008 or 2009. Our church is quite new in missions, this being our second one. So, it was almost definite that even with the safety issue and danger, the bigger group will “faith it out” and go for it. We, on the other hand, had to sadly back out.
    Days after, here I am still bothered by our decision. Did we make the right choice? Should we have just gone and by faith in Him who will not allow danger to fall on us, missionaries and gospe-sharers, do the task we had been preparing all year long for?
    Now, after reading your article, it became clearer to me that the choice we made is actually a choice of faith as well. But i justs couldnt help but be worried that we may be wrong.

  44. Melissa on January 14, 2020 at 9:11 pm

    I’ve been praying for my husband who is an alcoholic, bipolar, and therefore mentally abusive. He’s finally improving by going to AA, therapist, getting medication, and going to church. He’s showing interest in the men’s group at church. Many people and counselors are just so ready for me to divorce him. Papers are ready but I’m so confused on whether I’m giving up before God is finished with him. How can I pray for healing for him and to ask God for those things and then divorce him right when he begins to turn the corner? I don’t know if I’m still continuing codependent behavior or I should give it more time. My family wants nothing to do with him and I’m also torn in the middle. They want me to be happy and free of this behavior. Any suggestions?

    • Carey Nieuwhof on January 14, 2020 at 9:45 pm

      Hey Melissa,

      I’m not totally comfortable giving advice to you since I don’t know you personally. I would recommend surrounding yourself with pastors and counselors who will give you sound advice and listen to them. If many wise friends are saying the same thing and praying about it, you might want to listen to them.

      I hope you have a better year ahead.


      • Belinda on January 16, 2020 at 1:16 am

        I enjoyed reading this post, thank you Carey. I am in a situation and I blame myself for it, because once upon a time I made a promise to God that I shall NEVER cry for another man. I had twins and I had a choice in giving them up because adoption agencies were just waiting for me. I could never do it, I decided I will have a way to get through. Then I met this mature person, so I thought, according to him, he was divorced and had two children. Anyway two years down the road we moved in together and then his ex calls and says they are not divorced, then I found out he had 4 children, that should of been, GET OUT NOW moment, but no I decided I am holy spirit junior and I am going to show him Jesus and I will get through it. 19 years later I am bitter and don’t trust and I do believe that God is all loving and all things are possible, but for others not for me. I hurt God. Now I am in a financial rut and I am not working, my twins just finished matric, I am in South Africa and my twins were born in America. I can’t afford education for them, I had a plan for their education but because of finances, that policy is cancelled. I did tell him, my husband now that we need to find a way to get out of this financial mess, he says sell the house, I go my way and he goes another way. I want to get out of this mess and I need to get work but its like looking for a needle in a haystack. I have Christian group but they say trust God He will make a way and yes He will but He is looking past me. Thank you.

    • Loret on January 14, 2020 at 9:51 pm

      God hates divorce because marriage represents His relationship and commitment to us. He’s committed to us no matter how we are, who we are and what we are. He loves us through the good and the bad. He asks us to do the same. (No one should stay in a marriage if they are in danger and it doesn’t sound like you are. )

      I suggest you try 2 more things before you give up. Get a book called “The Love Dare” by Stephen and Alex Kendrick. You can get it used off Amazon. I got a copy through Kindle Reader for $6.37. It is a 40 day study on marriage that if you do it, you will change for the better and with it, your marriage will change for the better. My second suggestion is after you get the book, give your marriage 40 more days because that is how long it will take you to get through the book. You’ve lasted this long so you think you can do 40 more days?

      To encourage you, I used this book to change a relationship with a friend and it has worked wonders. So I really hope you will try it because I’m positive it will change you and your marriage for the better too. Get the book, read and do what it says each day for 40 days. Chapters are very short. Homework doesn’t take much time. Blessings.

      Father, Please help Melissa in all ways she needs help. Guide her through this difficult situation. Bring other Christians along side her that will support her, comfort her, pray for her and help her as she needs. Either change the attitude of the church she is in or find her a new church home. As Melissa works through the book, give her the strength to stick with it to the end, to trust you in this endeavor and really learn a new perspective about love, Your perspective on what love really is and how to give it to her husband like you love her and all your children. As Melissa works through this book and does the home work, open her husbands heart to respond in positive and loving ways so healing of this marriage is accomplished. In Your name I pray, Amen

      One more thing, any church that told, urged or supported me going against God’s word….well I’d find a new church. Quickly.

    • Naomi on February 25, 2020 at 4:49 am

      Hi there! Last summer, I suddenly became closer to God and for the past half year, He has been teaching me a lot. I am currently doing Electrical engineering bachelor’s degree but the closer I get to God, the more I am stirred in my heart about this. When I chose to pursue engineering, I did it because it’s a good career and a good investment. But honestly, my heart is not in it. I don’t enjoy it and I don’t know how I will serve God with this degree.
      So two days ago, I was on YouTube watching a music piece that I loved so much. Suddenly it hit me, maybe I should pursue music instead. I have always loved music and I currently serve as in the worship team in my local church. I suddenly have a deep desire to commune with the Lord through music (especially through playing an instrument) because I feel there are some things that I cannot express in words but through music, I can pour it all out deeply.
      I don’t know if this is from God and I am quite scared to jump right in. I’ve googled and it seems there are very few opportunities in music and I can’t help but feel confused if it’s really faith or I am just being foolish. I pray that God will clearly show me His will for my life at the moment.

      • Kimberly on March 30, 2020 at 9:17 pm

        Naomi, It seems like you tried to lighten the tone of this conversation, by changing the subject. So I’m not sure whether you’re serious with your question or not. But, if you are, I feel like God gives us clear callings, and that talking with your youth group and pastor, prayerfully, may give you more certainty. I feel like certainty, in Jesus, doesn’t doubt at all, and that’s what I mean by having a clear calling: something you just know and know is what you ‘re to do in life. That said: There are lot’s of musicians and other artists who also are engineers, and I’m sure there were times when they got bored with their studies.

        • Kimberly on March 30, 2020 at 9:22 pm

          Forgive my typo s ‘ !

  45. Red Truth on December 21, 2019 at 6:59 pm

    Maybe some details are missing on what is being said against you but have you thought about any other perspectives on why this is happening to you? No one is perfect or ideal and no one is the best worker or the best performer but God calls Christians to excellence in every aspect of our lives. Ask yourself, are you doing the best you can? Have you realized there may be another level you could reach by putting in more effort? Are you aware of your potential?

    I see many Christians claim they are hurt but in reality I believe they are simply easily defeated and give into the victim mentality. Sure, that mentality provides some affirmation and comfort from others. But, that is all you will receive. When will the time come where you grow and dominate the obstacles ahead of you? When will you muster up some strength? Do you not know who you are in Christ? If not, ask God to reveal it to you. You will be amazed and no regret will be found.

    Prayer and fasting is good, no doubt about that. But when will ACTION see the day in your life? Faith without works is dead. Works are actions. No one disciples people without speaking up or meeting them somewhere.

    Life is not a game. You do not stay idle in life. Life is not about comfort. In fact, believing in Christ, you may have unknowingly signed up for an even more difficult life.

    I challenge you to challenge whatever mountain is in front of you. – and you have dominion over it. Obviously, do not respond to your coworker in an aggressive manor. Assertive is ok, but not through violence.

    I hope your eyes are opened and your mind is renewed. God called you to strength not weakness. Being humble and having humility is good but being a pushover is not a means to an end.

    • John on January 7, 2020 at 8:27 am

      In my experience, I find that God is sovereign. He may answer your prayer; He may not. I put my faith in Him to do the impossible, and have come up short , setback in life and in my faith. I gain nothing by saying this if my goal was to comment in anger, as I will face Him as the rest of will I’m judgement day and give an account. I just want someone out there to know that God does not always follow through; He is able, and that is where your Hope should lie: the real question is whether he is willing. If He is not, He’s sovereign, no matter how many scriptures you quote, how many times you put him in remembrance of his word, etc. If He IS willing, give him praise and be grateful.
      In short: His ability has NOTHING to do with your reality: only his willingness to keep his word. That’s really all that matters.
      He has failed me in things that I cannot get back. So, when He does keep his word, I want to remember that and be grateful.
      As for faith, you SHOULD test the waters and see if he’s faithful: if he keeps his word to you, give him praise and encourage others . You have to find out for yourself. Action is the key word; and all I write here is based on the truth of mine and Gods ACTIONS. Because in the end, that is all that matters.

    • Henry Eliathamby on January 8, 2020 at 12:56 am

      I have lived a life. I have walked the path. In my heart I have seen the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Spurgeon says it well …

      The Lord gets his best soldiers out of the highlands of affliction.
      Charles Spurgeon

      May His Face shine upon you

  46. Anonymous on December 7, 2019 at 10:35 am

    God really sucks altogether.

    • Judy on December 7, 2019 at 5:44 pm

      Yeah, struggling with this one.
      Seems it’s his friggin way or the highway.
      I am on SSDI and $$$ for food is very tight.
      Seems like I am always dropping/spilling food in the kitchen that I can’t afford to lose.
      Wouldn’t ya think he could help me out here?

      • Victoria Washington on December 18, 2019 at 11:55 pm

        Yes! God is able. God cares! God will provide. I too have struggled at times and seen Gid works makes to provide for me. I pray that you will see God provide you and your family. As your Creator, I know God cares for you.

      • Dot on December 26, 2019 at 7:46 am

        I’m so sorry. This is a very real issue…just wanting to get food to your mouth!
        I am praying for you. Don’t give up!

        • Kimberly on March 30, 2020 at 10:32 pm


      • Kathy H. on March 6, 2020 at 1:15 pm

        What is your relationship like with Him? Do you treat Him as your loving Father, or are you rebelling against Him? Why do you think that He should stop you from spilling food? I certainly would never expect my own earthly father to do that for me, certainly not after the age of being a young child, when spilling things might be expected. Why are you spilling food in the first place? Are you not being careful with the things that God has given you? He has provided you with food, so why are you spilling it? If there is any blame here, it’s not on God. God is perfect and loving and kind and merciful and gracious, and a bunch of other good things. Switch your attitude toward that and start trusting Him as a good God. He’ll come through for you, but not if you’re rebelling against Him or fighting Him or blaming Him for things that you’re doing yourself.

    • mccar on December 9, 2019 at 6:51 am

      hi how are you doing

      • Judy on December 9, 2019 at 10:48 am

        Been better
        Thanks for asking
        Prayers are always appreciated

    • Christi on December 13, 2019 at 6:52 pm

      I loved this article. Because I am facing an impossible situation that has just about worn me out. I’ve felt like the anxiety was going to kill me before I ever saw the miracle come to pass.
      God woke me one night and told me to ask for something big.
      Something impossible.
      And so I did. Now I have been struggling and put myself into a position where it looks from a human perspective that all hope is lost.
      But, your article has told me otherwise. God is testing me. My faith and I will receive my miracle. With faith and His power.
      Not by my strength. But His
      Thank you for helping me tonight.

      • Steph on January 12, 2020 at 6:47 pm

        Hey! I’m actually going through something similar right now? None of my efforts seem to be working out and it seems impossible to overcome this situation. Do you have any advice? Thanks!

    • Haydee on December 14, 2019 at 8:34 am

      Nah, man, He doesn’t.
      If you believe that then you must be thinking of a different god. This one is good. 1 John 1:5.

    • Amy Ingram on December 18, 2019 at 6:54 pm

      He apologized on the cross. Either it’s enough for you or it’s not. You have two choices: 1) live as though the world and its creator owe you something and in essence become part of the problem or 2) live as though you’re valuable by virtue you bear His image and live to make this world a better place and become part of the solution. Hint: you can’t do both simultaneously. 😉

      • Jennifer Lewz on April 13, 2020 at 4:54 pm

        I was lucky to see Robinson Buckler on a site after seeing a lots of testimony and good work he have done in the lives of people helping them to get their ex husbands and wives renewing their relationship i was convinced and i contacted him and just in 3 days after the spell was caste my beloved husband came looking for me and right now we are together again and he is taking care of me and the little kids as his responsibilities and family. Once again thank you here are his contact to reach him. ((robinsonbucler@ gmail)). com………………………………………………………………….😘🤗🧡💝❤💐🥀

        • Loret on April 13, 2020 at 5:50 pm

          You went to a soothsayer? Really? Get behind me Satan.

          Leviticus 19:31. Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God.

    • Victoria Washington on December 19, 2019 at 12:01 am

      Often times when we hear of God’s sovereignty, we confuse that to mean that every single occurrence is authored by God. That would mean that God is torturously orchestrating genocide, poverty, disease, rape etc. If that were the truth of God, I’d totally agree with you. God allows freewill. People and spirits are free to choose their actions. Some choose evil actions. God steps in to reconcile the evil done to us.

    • Tiffany on December 20, 2019 at 2:18 am

      Dig deep… it’s easy to give up. I’ve been homeless …& struggle beyond. You would look-see me & perhaps judge me… but if we had a conversation you would hear my kindness soul…know I’m damaged or not.
      I will pray for you & a miracle you to like I find our way together. He made us. We are perfect in his eyes ….why would we let sin win w/bad thoughts. Let’s work harder together.
      Amen 🙏🏻

  47. Anonymous on December 1, 2019 at 6:26 pm

    God Sucks.

    • Bryan on December 14, 2019 at 9:24 am

      No he doesn’t we just think so because we are struggling with our flesh, most of the time and remember the battlefront is in the mind before we act we have to trust without wavering easier said than done right? Well is not a God that created the whole universe in total control??

  48. Patty on December 1, 2019 at 1:30 pm

    I like your last statement, Tony. “Silent for a reason”…. Indeed, I’ve found it so. 🙂 Peace to you.

  49. Tony on December 1, 2019 at 3:10 am

    This is very in-Dept and helpful. God never fails and his promises for you will surely come to pass. When the faith is strong, miracles happen in every aspect of your life. It worth to keep on waiting on God. He is silent for a reason.

    • Ryan k on December 4, 2019 at 3:11 am

      Thank you for the encouragement your response was like a flood of relief. He is silent for a reason. I have been suffering from health issues and financial difficulties. And i have been asking god for help for along time he has helped in certain situations that I noticed. I recently got a co worker who seams to love creating conflict and due to lack of sleep and exhaustion and sickness i let him goad me into blowing up at him. I feel horrible because that is not the character of Jesus. But this co worker has been doing this for weeks and it wears on you. I want to aske if the brothers and sisters out there can pray for me in health, financial and help dealing with this kind of co worker. He intentionally finds small things that doesn’t affect his shift and tries to boss me around to create conflict. And its to the pont where i try to avoid talking to him. (For when 2 or more are gathered in his name he is there.) please pray for me.

      • Loret on December 4, 2019 at 8:32 am

        I have a button pusher in my life, too. Walking away is a great strategy because they want you to engage in an angry way. We all do what gets us results. So for button pushers, disengagement is the opposite of what they want. The second thing is to understand that while this feels personal, it really isn’t. It is about something that hurts them, that happened when you were not around and for some reason, you have become the target of their anger. Once you understand and believe that it isn’t personal, it will be very hard for them to get at you. When he’s bossing you, politely listen, thank him for his advice and do it all with a smile and gentleness. This sends the message you are not going to do as they say while at the same time you are giving them the respect you want. If that doesn’t stop the bossing after trying it for a few times , then just say “enough” and walk away. Gentle rebukes are ok. Finally, treat them as we are instructed in 1 Cor 13. Do it to the point of doing nice things for them. It doesn’t take much and a few nice things make it quite difficult for them to keep up what they are doing. I got my button pusher a cup of coffee from the pot, left a dark chocolate bar on his desk (loves dark choc) and just took a few minutes, here and there, to ask him how he is. My nice things cost me little but were thoughtful, and made it quite difficult for my button pusher to continue to be a jerk. Ask God what nice things you can do and he will show you what you to do for your button pusher. It has taken a few weeks to start to see significant change but it is happening for me and it can for you too.

        One other thing, this battle isn’t with your coworker. We all have difficulties with other people but the battle to coexist isn’t with them. It is with the enemy. Scripture says this too. And the enemy wants our focus on anything and everything but God so we are not accomplishing God’s work, we make a bad witness or just because he hates us and likes to mess with us. Keep your focus on God. When you resist the enemy, he flees. James 4:7, Eph 6:12

        I have prayed for you. God will answer you and defend you, too, as He promises. 1 Peter 5:7

      • Kelly on December 18, 2019 at 1:48 am

        I will pray

      • Sweetie on December 18, 2019 at 8:39 am

        i hear you & had a similiar situation. KNOW YOUR ENEMY….and pray for them, pray for yourself asking Abba God to help u deal directlty and properly with this irritating nut. Miserable attention seekers want to control every one around them because they have lots of problems they spread around. Keep distant. Ignore Be kind but let them move along. Do NOT allow him to move you!

      • Joanna on January 14, 2020 at 3:19 pm

        Hi, I can only share my story. For a long time (nearly ten years), I was supporting sometone who had a drink problem, was having seizures and ended up in trouble with the police, being sectioned and having a terrible accident (he’d already had a brain injury from a road accident). I moved to a small island with him and began to suffer from trauma from his accident and seizures (I felt totally helpless). I’d been praying for so long that God help him quit the drink. God didnt take away his desire to drink. One day I said I can no longer do this, God please stop his seizures, please lead him to salvation, please help me to truly love this man despite his pattern of destruction. God has since stepped in and brought me peace. And when the man downed a whole bottle of gin in one go recently, he never had a withdrawal seizure. God did it for me and for my friend. I realised I was asking the wrong things. People have hurts and free will, my asking that he stop drinking wasnt ever going to work as it wasnt his will. Ask for yourself, pray that God will help you to feel love for this co-worker, pray he/she will feel God’s love for them. I once read a book called The Heavenly Man …. in it the man was in prison being beaten and mistreated by fellow prisoners, he could not like them as humans until one morning he awoke and truly felt love for them – on that day he managed to reach them with the truth of God’s love and they came to Christ. I will pray for you in your difficulties. God bless.

    • Tiffany on December 20, 2019 at 2:24 am

      Amen. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

    • Sarah Miller on April 4, 2020 at 4:12 pm

      Why do you feel that way about God?

      • Guest on June 4, 2021 at 3:09 pm

        Sarah, God fails many of us in different ways unfortunately.

  50. Carol on November 30, 2019 at 8:03 am

    Hi am not sure here is where I should put my problem but I will…I was diagnosed with breat cancer in 2017 closed my business for treatment finished September 2018 began homeschooling and tutoring Children one on one .I felt call by God to do it however Not with out counsel but am not renting 6000 place and struggle to pay but everything is going good children learning patents happy but am not rreaching the tithe income I need. I CHARGE MUCH lower than I should any how I got a prophetic word it’s what God want me to do …….the land Lord gave me grace to stay until I pay the month if November but now Dec I need rent for two months. Am tryingbto figure out if I got grace to stay, A word to do what am doing where am doing it .Why do I struggle so much …is it wrong to fight to stay or I should just leave. It just six month am doing what am doing..Am trying to figure out if it’s all God why am I putting my land Lord last a distress and myself.. Trying to figure out is it wrong to remain and keep borrowing and having debt if owning ..If it’s Gods willhe have me in fibacialdebt. My family is against it however my church is praying for me for a breakthru.. …I know I have been call to do this but why the great struggle am I wrong to try and stay.. I ask the landlord to leave but she told me She give me grace for a month. ..thr month is over but am still struggling …My question is can this still be God

    • Joanna on January 14, 2020 at 3:26 pm

      I pray for you. Once I had a similar problem, I had no home. I kept praying and then I prayed with my church friends. One person said I see God has given you a ticket for a house but you must receive it into your hand and say thankyou. I did this but later there was still no house. I then watched Angus Buchan, a south African preacher talking about how God provides. After watching this I went out to my local shopa nd asked if there were any houses for rent. I had no money for rent. The lady said she would call her cousin. Five minutes later he arrived. He said he didnt need a deposit and he would wait for my benefit to come through if I couldnt pay rent. He also charged me a very fair rent. Sometimes we have to believe God’s word. Go and see some of your church friends and pray with them again. Dont worry about your family, God is greater and greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world. May God bless you, provide for you and you carry on your amazing work! xx

  51. Patty on November 28, 2019 at 8:48 am

    Thank you for this article, Carey.

    I am 60, and trying to decide about focus for the remainder of my life. Like many, I’ve been through a sad marriage, raised two utterly amazing kids, experienced midlife crises, ended up divorcing my husband of 30 years, evicted my 18 yo son with mental illness (a heartbreak NO mother should EVER have to endure, and thanks only to God and DHS, he is now safe in an apartment of his own), and disowned by my genius daughter, who unbeknownst to us all was SSA all her life and now identifies as pansexual – not a sin or a choice, just not known or understood by me or my ex during her years at home.

    That all divulged, I’m a lifelong Christian, accepted Jesus in 5th grade (after transferring from M.S. Lutheran to Independent Baptist), I now look to God for leadership into the next phase, whatever it will be. I am toggling between two major life commitments: continued study of singing (my lifelong passion) with hopefully a career coming out of it, or seminary with an aim at an MDiv – something I’ve felt tugged toward all my life, but as a young Baptist was told was only for men.

    Deciding between these two paths has been my discernment process for the past 6 months, with sunbursts along the way to encourage me in both directions. People ask why I have to make a choice. I am a person who focuses intensely on one thing at a time, and in so doing produces excellent results. Trying to split myself between the two is becoming so difficult as I get older, I just keep longing for the feeling of wholeness by choosing one direction and sticking with it.

    But I am a very spontaneous individual, if the spontaneity comes from myself. So in spite of wanting to be whole, I find myself getting tired of doing the same thing all the time, so maybe keeping more than one focus is a good idea. But I don’t feel I can sustain that going forward, as my energy is not what it was. Sometimes I think, if I just exercises regularly… or, if I just practiced very consistently…. or, if….. But I know if’s are no way to make a decision.

    And all hinges on money. I have no money, and I can’t seem to get a job anymore, and never was cut out for the jobs I see anyway. With a Bachelor of Music and lifelong experience in singing, I’m pretty much not a good candidate for jobs in offices, or much of anything else at this point. I can’t stand long, I can’t do the new jobs on computers without training, I have a tape in my head all the time that says, “And for this you spent 4 years on college….” And my age is preventing people from seeing possibilities in me.

    So I have to carve out a living for myself, or at least a supplemental income. But my decision can’t be only about money. When you feel called to a ministerial living out of your career, which I always have, you have to consult with God. I’ve been doing that these past six months, and I’ve felt God opening certain doors in both directions. But I always hit a wall, and then I wonder if I’ve listening to God, or just my childish self, dreaming of things I cannot do.

    So that’s my decision. Seminary would almost certainly require more debt, and I’m up to my eyeballs already, including a student loan from a failed attempt at a MAT at George Fox (two weeks in summer generated $11,000, which has now grown to $14,000).

    I feel the call to answer God’s invitation when I was young, to work for God, especially seeing the abuse the LGBTQ+ community is receiving from fundamentalists/evangelicals and knowing the plight of these beautiful people from having researched around my daughter’s issues. I also feel called to speak for the mentally ill, as I’ve been inside that story for about 10 years now.

    Yet always there’s the nagging thought, once an inspiring voice, that says I’ve been gifted with this voice I’ve been neglecting and while there is still something left I should hone it and earn money singing, which wouldn’t be much but has always been a dream of mine. Honing my voice would take ALL my time and energies, and would cost a good portion of my retirement (a small nest-egg received from the divorce), and I don’t know which would be the better stewardship of God’s resource, or whether I should give up the whole nest-egg and do both, or whether I should consider my age and station in life and simply let it all be and get older and more useless – see?

    It spins around in my head, and I haven’t got money to visit counselors etc. I can hardly pay the bills now and also eat and buy gas. But I don’t mean to descend into self pity or complaining here, just point out that I am in a situation that seems to have no answers. And I’ve been doing the peaceful mindfulness praying and breathing and lighting candles for awhile now, which does help me FEEL peaceful, but doesn’t get me any closer to a decision. A spiritual guide I know (not my own) has said I should let things be for now, but others have encouraged me to walk through doors that seem to be opening…. I’m going in circles again.

    Sorry to take up so much space and leave so many words here, but it’s really hard to know where to leave something out if I’m going to paint the picture truthfully. I just wanted to answer your question about what decision I’m working on today. Thanks for the opportunity. I LOVE what you wrote!

    • Liz on December 1, 2019 at 12:11 pm

      Hi Patty, Sounds like a dilemma one very familiar to me, been there, this is what I do when I am facing the question of what to do,.. Pray, fast, read the word of God, then relax and know that God has this,

      Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in Adonai (God) our heavenly father, with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.

      In all your ways aknowledge him, and he will make your path staight.

      This scripture has a special place in my heart, I first I had to read it several times , what does it mean? Do I wait? Do I make a decision? It can be fustrating at times when the answer seems to be wait!

      Thank God one day I awoke and the holy spirit brought this verse to my memory, this time I saw it in a different light, the WORD here was TRUST, I was like wow!

      So I looked up the word trust, meanings;
      Firm belief in the reliability, truth or strength of someone or something., So I realized that when God says something he always backs it up, he always comes through, then I also realized that it says “trust in the Lord with all my heart, meaning it requires an action in my part to act upon on what he is asking me to do, and the second part of that verse is ” lean not on my own understanding” ,

      I had ponder on this one big time because I usually do whatever I think is best, but with this verse, I had to summit to God’s will for my life for whatever decision he dicided was best for me, because he knows the future and he lovingly will not allow that which will disrupt our well being,

      I had to really, really, understand this one, it’s not always easy to wait, when we think it’s a great opportunity for us, but what I had to realized was that God knows the outcome of everything before it happens,. So this one is were I had to die to self,

      And I tell you whenever I decide to trust God on it, I see a great outcome for me.

      • Patty on December 1, 2019 at 1:27 pm

        Thank you, Liz, that helps a lot. 🙂

    • Halda on December 21, 2019 at 1:12 pm

      Hi Patty,
      Your beautiful voice would be well appreciated, and would also be a wonderful gift to your community if you joined a local choir. It’s a way to give back while also participating in community. You could join a community choir or a church choir, or both! It’s a great way to receive voice training while learning how to harmonize and read music, and it gives glory to God (not you!). Also, it is very low cost or free. You don’t need to go to seminary to respond to God’s call to ministry. Join a bible study group, read and study yourself, and become knowledgeable in the word. I don’t believe you have to choose between two paths – I think that the Lord has already given you your ministry, you just don’t see it. Is there a local LGBTQ activist community you could volunteer with? Is there an LGBTQ church in your region? Maybe it’s time to take your faith there, and get involved with that community, and join their choir. It might mean leaving the Baptist fold, but based on your comments, you’ve already left in mind, heart and spirit. If your ego feels left out, don’t worry – there are opportunities for solo performances in choirs. Once your voice is in good shape, consider volunteering with and auditioning for community theatre – another way to give service to your community and glorify God with your gifts. God is love, Patty – so go and share your gifts and give your love!

      • Halda on December 22, 2019 at 1:09 pm

        Patty please forgive me, I just re-read my comments, and they are somewhat lacking the spirit of compassion, gentleness and brotherly love. I think Liz’s response is very faithful and quotes scripture, and I hope and pray that it exhorts you. Dying to self is hard, and it’s something with which I struggle also, I identify a lot with your dilemna. If I could rephrase, I would add the following quotations:

        * Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV?)
        * “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”
        ― Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC
        “Think globally, act locally” (unknown)
        * Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. Rom. 12:6-8 ESV
        * You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matt. 5:14-16 NIV
        * Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand. Zech.4:10 NLT
        * Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going. Eccles. 9:10
        * What you can do, or dream you can, begin it; boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
        * Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.- Theodore Roosevelt

        Calling is a process of discernment, and I would encourage you that you don’t need to have it all figured out before you begin. Start where you are at… sometimes we arrive at our final destination by roundabout and unexpected ways.
        Good luck to you Patty and may God bless you and provide for you on your journey!

    • Kimberly on March 30, 2020 at 11:52 pm

      Patty, Months have passed since you wrote this, and I pray you’re on the one right path, walking each step in life trusting in Jesus (moreso than in mindfulness, deep breathing, or any other trend). Liz has given some really comforting and true advice, and Halda has tried to build on that. Liz says rest in faith, while Halda says to branch more into community than into trying to exploit your interests in order to make a living. Their comments are different from one another, but I think both are saying to work restfully instead of wearing yourself out trying to do what has seemed right by traditional social standards instead of by faith. I disagree with some of the ideas Halda has offered, but I realize she has the right overall idea, like Liz. … If ever there is work that any soul needs godly strength to complete, it’s seminary. And, remember, the goal in seminary is being able to be the Good Shepherd’s voice, hands, and feet in a very troubled world now. (Even some seasoned pastors, who have the counsel of the Holy Spirit strong in heart, are growing weary now.) Seminary isn’t about finding your own way out of times of personal family crisis, but is about answering a sure call that God has for your life. … Patty, whatever you’re doing now, I pray that your first step was in realizing the call to just restfully trust in Jesus. (Matthew 11:28-30)

    • Kimberly on March 31, 2020 at 12:51 pm

      Different from Halda, I don’t believe you needed to leave your church. Instead, there are all kinds of supplemental ministries to explore online, to gain rest in faith before taking a next step and a next. This is just one example:

  52. Kristina Hudson on November 14, 2019 at 2:17 am

    I run a non-profit for cancer children. We do a lot of amazing things for our families and I know it. I have spent a lot of time over the last 2 years trying to really build a relationship with God. I talk to him all the time now. I have made some huge mistakes in the past. Mistakes I know are against everything God tells us. I know he forgives me. I’m trying to forgive myself. I spend every day trying to leave that stupid woman behind. I’ve been running our non-profit for 13 years. There are 2 women that absolutely hate each other. I cant help them. I have tried. I feel that God saw me more in the way so I’ve tried to step away from them both.However, that is not possible. One of the women have been part of our world of these particular kids since before I started. She can be difficult and I know she loves God but she tends to see the world against her and lashes out. She loves the oncology kids though and handles a bad day not always so well with adults. Basically meaning she barks a lot. I’ve always seen her as a hurt and misunderstood and sometimes difficult person with a big heart. The other woman. Well I have been warned against her by many for years actually. She showed me a sweet, loving side though and I felt she too is perhaps misunderstood. Although there have been times I have felt a bit uncomfortable with her in her dealings with others. These women have hurt each other. I dont even know how. The first has been tied although not in a direct way to our foundation since it started. The second woman has had a desire to be part of our foundation also. Neither really directly but separately in dif ways. Now I’ve tried being neutral and dealing with both women hoping to keep them from each other. The first woman feels the second pushed her out of or was part of pushing her out of a big deal organization ( not ours) that she had been part of with these kids for close to 20 years. We have an event coming up that the first woman has always been part of and the second woman started coming to 2 years ago. But things got so bad between the 2 women that I asked the second to not come to this event. Especially due to the fact that she has completely taken over the other thing that was very important to the first woman. I sat down with her trying to apeal to her as a Christian friend. Trying to help.her understand my dilemma. It worked at first but a few days later she started becoming hurt by my request. Then proceeded to make me start feeling guilty. Then if I showed the first woman any attention she started acting even more hurt. I know how this sounds. Even typing it seems so juvenile. I prayed over this with every move I made with these women. But I still feel I made wrong choices but then when I think on my other choices the outcome would still be ugly and the other would be hurt. My foundation is and can be affected by both women due to their connections. How do I know I did what God asked of me? How do I know if I have made the right choices? I feel as if there is not a right choice. Not in either womans eyes. Well, yes there is actually… if I picked them. But how do I know what God wanted me to do? I prayed… I went with my gut that seemed sick all the time… and basically went with the one that made me less sick. But still comes back to haunt me in dif ways. I cant find peace. I want to give up. Possibly even give up our foundation that helps pay childhood cancer families Bill’s because i feel like a failure in how i handled these women. I’m tired of being sick. But I do have friends who love me dearly but think I should let both women come to this event and should have stood up to the first woman who is being silly about not wanting the second woman there. Let them decide to come or not. If i do that the first woman would be beyond hurt and really angry and make my life miserable wether she herself came or not. Both women are drawing lines in the sand and even cancer families are choosing sides. But if I give it all up I wont be doing the one thing that makes me feel like I’m doing Gods work. How do I know I pleased God or dissapointed him?

    • Christie on December 21, 2019 at 1:52 pm

      Dear Kristina, my heart goes out to you! It sounds like your organization has come under demonic attack. The Jezebel spirit is working through both these women to cause division in your not-for-profit. “Divide and conquer”. If families are starting to take sides, this is a very serious threat to the organization itself. You must take a strong position of leadership here – your alegiance should be to the best interest of your client base, and your organizations mission and values. What I suggest, is that you immediately start looking for and/or grooming replacements for BOTH women. Pray for God to send people to you. If you continue to play their game, my experienced guess is that you will lose leadership of this organization, as you will find that the Board of Directors, under pressure from families, these jezebel-possesed women, staff/volunteers, and funders will be looking for the sacrificial lamb – and that will be YOU, my dear. If you can’t find the way to gracefully move these ladies on, then maybe you are not cut out for a leadership position with your not-for-profit, and should tender your resignation to the board, before they fire your ass. Pray, consult with godly counsellors, and proffer a solution before the Board, before the Board brings the problem before you. You are in a war, Kristina – no joke. You must MAKE the peace. Ask yourself this question: what is best for the long term health of your organization? It’s no fun to be the disciplinarian, but unfortunately, that comes with your position in the organization. It has been your failure to identify and enact disciplinary measures against these women that has resulted in this burgeoning crisis in your organization. This is an opportunity for you to learn and grow in leadership – do what you need to do to educate yourself as you negotiate this very steep learning curve in your career. God is with you! You can do this.

  53. Dominique on November 12, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    I caught my wife having a 1 1/2 year affair with a co worker of hers. She told me she was not in love with me and denied it was another person in the picture. Months later I caught her red handed. She apologized and she has agreed to work it out but I have been the one to push everything. I have been the one seeking our counseling and reminding us to pray. She still doesn’t want to discuss it and says she just wants to move on. She can’t say she’s in love with me and sometimes she is still not open and defends her privacy heavily. I have reasons to believe she may still be cheating. But I also have reasons to be hopeful. What do I do?

    • Carey Nieuwhof on November 12, 2019 at 4:48 pm

      Hey Dominique,

      I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Sadly, I don’t think I can be much help without knowing you and the situation personally. Would you be able to reach out to a pastor/mentor/trusted guide who could give you insight into your situation? I would reccomend seeking out someone who has a very strong marriage.

      I really hope someone is able to help you process through this difficult time.

      Praying for you.

    • Loret on November 13, 2019 at 8:51 am

      I was married to a cheater. This is what I can tell you from first hand experience. If the cheater wants to change and repair the relationship, they will willingly be an open book as to where they are, who they are with and what they are doing. It is up to the cheater to prove they are going to be trustworthy and not up to you to just believe them on their say-so.

      She needs to break off the affair, immediately. Your wife needs to be open and honestly answer all your questions and be very open about talking about this for as long as it takes (over the course of time) for you to heal. She needs to show you empathy and how much she shows you is an indicator if your marriage will survive. She needs to take responsibility and show real regret and remorse. She needs to be patient for you to come to the point of forgiveness and trust. But this is one time you wait until you can fully trust in order to fully forgive and this doesn’t mean to harbor anger but to look forward to the day when you can freely let it all go. You need to talk to her about how this has affected you and she needs to listen. Don’t rage or act out in anger. Don’t talk only about this. Part of the repair process is to bring normal conversation back into the relationship.

      My husband acted like your wife. He wouldn’t let me talk to him about my hurt and instead said I had no reason to feel pained by his actions, he refused to be accountable in all things and he shifted the blame for his affairs onto me. My marriage didn’t survive. In fact, after a long period of being faithful he stepped out again and that was when I filed for divorce. But all that time, some 10 yrs, his affairs festered between us because there was never any trust rebuilt again not any steps taken towards healing. I have friends where the husband had an affair and nearly lost their marriage. I’m happy to say he realized and saw the hurt he was causing, owned it, stopped the affair and did all the things I said above. They are still married. And they both talk openly about it to each other and close friends. He will tell you it took him a long time to gain her trust back and he had to 100% committed to gaining her trust by being accountable to his whereabouts, every moment of every day in order to do this.

      You have done nothing wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong. My female friend didn’t do anything wrong. This one of times where the fault lies completely with the person having the affair. This is why it is completely up to them to make it right and so it is completely up to your wife to make this right, Give her a fair chance but also realize if she continues to be secretive, unable to empathize with the pain she has caused you and continues to not take responsibility, she is probably not going to do the right thing by you. And the guarding of her privacy is a good indicator that she hasn’t stopped seeing the other man. I think your instincts on this are spot on.

      So sorry you are going through this. It is quite painful, unfair and you don’t deserve it. I have prayed for you to know what God wants you to do and that she will do what is right, by you.

    • Loret on November 14, 2019 at 9:16 am

      The battle is not the people but powers and principalities. James 6:12. Satan can use Christians to mess things up, too. And to twist up you and your time trying to keep you from doing God’s work. I would ask you if these women are moving God’s plans forward? OR Are they stumbling blocks to His plans? If the former, everyone needs a sit down with you and told to stop the grumbling, jealousy and fault-finding and to work together from here on or they will be asked to move on. There is nothing wrong with telling people to get along. If they are stumbling blocks to the organization, they all need to be asked to leave. Always treat them according to 1 Cor. 13 but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask them to leave. Jesus rebuked Peter by saying “Get behind me Satan”to his disciple, because he had the concerns of himself and not God.
      Sounds like these women are acting like Peter was…. Then Jesus told all the disciples that to follow Him, they must deny themselves and take up their cross. Sounds just like these women need to understand the mission is God’s and not themselves. Do you agree?

      BUT most of all, pray strategically, for the problem now, for the healing they need, for the future people to take their places, for yourself to have wisdom and understanding on how to deal with this.

      “Father, we always want to see people the way You do, to love them as you command and to treat them the way we want to be treated. We also realize that these problems while coming through these woman, is the enemy messing with your work. So I ask You to give Kristina the wisdom to know and see the tools the enemy is using to create this contention and chaos. Show her what You would have her do and if it is to ask them to leave, that You will give her a peace in her heart that is the right thing to do. I pray for these women to become self aware of what they are doing and see clearly the affects their behavior has on those around them. And by this self awareness, they would feel convicted to stop doing what they are doing, turn to You, get into the Word and learn how you want them to treat others and set aside their selfishness. If You want Kristina to keep them on, then please give her understanding as to how to manage them, wisdom to know when to speak and when to pray. Help Kristina to learn what you are teaching her through this situation. In the mean time, protect the organization and its work from the enemies destruction. Bring in others who are peace makers and are able to love unconditionally. Prepare the people that will come in the future to be able to do the work You will call them to do, who will build on this foundation and take it to the bigger and better things you want for it. Guard and protect this organization from the enemy and please don’t let Satan destroy this. Raise up prayer warriors who will regularly intercede for Kristina, these women and the organization. In Jesus name we ask.”

    • Joanna on January 14, 2020 at 3:30 pm

      I am so sorry to hear you are going through this betrayal. I can only say pray to God that he would intervene and save your marriage and enable you to forgive your wife. God bless you x

  54. SandyJones on November 2, 2019 at 11:49 am

    So my husband and. I were comfortable after years of rough times. He travelled a lot for work so we took a leap of faith and bought a business together so he could be with the family more. Our faith and intent was all in what we believed was a right place. We didn’t have a clear yes but it but we did have a clear he needed to resign his job. We didn’t have any warning or red flags or anything telling us not to. We believed it was Gods’ will and we put everything we owned on the line. We both had the skill set and the business we bought was valued at more than the price. We did our due diligence. Let’s just say we have had successes and are happy with where we going. However we hitting our slow season for the next three months and don’t feel financially strong enough to get through this cycle as we only bought it 7 months ago and ah ent been able to build up enough reserves due to some unexpected capital expenditures we didn’t expect, like equipment breaking and other setbacks, almost like we have been under financial attack. We we are a bit top heavy, we didn’t want to let people go and planned on growing and I have been looking for employment to reduce one income, with no success. We have run it under faith principles, walked away from business of people who mistreated our employees. We tithe on our salary we draw, we trust God and pray for guidance, wisdom every day trying to balance faith with wisdom. My husband and I are not naturally good with money but work at it and try learn from our mistakes, trying not to be reckless although looking back we see some poor decisions we thought were right at the time. When our finances were strong we have away a lot at the expense of savings trusting God for provision, I think in hindsight we gave foolishly thinking it was right. We probably should have saved more, but we are both generous to a fault. We pray and when we make a mistake we try do better, we thank God for our successes but it feels like one thing after another has gone wrong and I’m worried about making it through the quiet season. If sales stay strong we can fix and improve the things but no matter how hard we pray we sometimes feel God has just left us out to dry. Then He shows up and we something and know it was Him, but then the attacks come again, it feels like satan has opened the gates of hell and let his demons out onto us, God seems quiet, then He shows up and then the demons rage again. I know God is with us but it feels lie we drowning and the setbacks are bigger than the steps forward and that we hanging by a thread. I often wonder if we heard right, made a bad decision giving up our financial security and my husband’s good job with medical and bought this business, which day and night challenges us and is coming between many family events. We did this so he could be home more for better balance even though we knew we may earn less, but now we earn less and have less balance, we on the go 4am to 10 or 11pm. Outings get interrupted with a call for a problem. We constantly putting things in place to prevent problems and be proactive, but our business depends on people and people let us down, shortage of good labor. We have a 4.8star rating but for those .2 stars we don’t have, that is where the things go wrong and are soul consuming. We constantly trying to manage that rating as in our business a bad review can really hurt. When we bought this business we had a choice of two, we had made a promise to this one first, we wanted the other one more but didn’t want to start a business with a broken promise. Every day I beat myself up with what if we got it all wrong and lose everything. I spend a lot of time looking back and am afraid of losing everything, we in one fifties and would be hard to start over.

    • Kimberly on March 31, 2020 at 8:32 pm

      Ms. Sandy, Maybe you should try to talk with your pastor, if you haven’t done so already. Let him pray with you at church, but also at your place of business. Have staff meetings every morning, with prayer — sometimes with your pastor there. If what feels like something other than the Lord is continuing to cause difficulties, maybe cut back on staff. Make your business what you want it to be, but make sure you’re not putting making money in place of living for the Lord. And, remember, if it’s your desire to do so, in Jesus, maybe you can sell.

  55. John on October 31, 2019 at 2:07 pm

    Hey. I hope I can get help. I was diagnosed with Hepatitis B disease. The thought of these disease has being torturing. I’m a believer and I’m trusting God and praying about it. The painful part is it’s a sexually transmitted disease and I’ve never had sexual relationship.
    I lost my job along the line and I couldn’t think of what next to do for a living. I feel dejected atimes and most times I ask God, why me?..please, i need help.

    Can it be that God want me get closer or He want to bring somethings out of my situation?

    • Carey Nieuwhof on November 1, 2019 at 6:10 pm

      Hey John,

      This is so hard. I’m so sorry. I would say that God always wants to get closer to you, so yes, in this season I would reccomend leaning into him hard.

      The problem of pain is a profound one. One thing that Mark Batterson says is that God doesn’t waste pain. So although this is painful, God can use your story in powerful ways if you let him. Maybe there are other people in your situation that need to see you pushing through.

      If you could meet with a local pastor and ask him to partner with you though this might be good also.

      Cheering for you!


  56. jamar Hairston on October 18, 2019 at 10:09 am

    If some is waging war against you and you truly haven’t did or said the things you were be accused of. Things were accused of you offered your apology. But the people who also do what they accused you of didn’t accepted my apology. Instead they confirm what the other to people had said . They went so far as to say that I was viscous gossiped. I was moved from my position for 30 days. However I never found out who was spreading the rumors. Also when I came back to work site, the same two people filed a grievance and appeal. I forgot to mention that were are federal worker. So here is my question, if these two people told me that they lied to federal investigators for me. Which I was totally unaware of . I also have information to prove that my peers were also gossiping what should I do. Because I know revenge is not mines. Please advise

    • Michael Barnick on October 23, 2019 at 11:04 pm

      I guess the problem i have here is in your dilema with your friends church building….wherher to go forward with it or not……..i heard a lack of GOD’S inference.
      I’m struggling……as we all do currently with an issue.
      My situation……is should really be resolved the old fashioned way….ON MY KNEES asking the creator of the universe to guide me……well let’s face it….The answer I’m seeking is not going to be delivered in my EMAIL….not sent to me by Snail Mail…….It may even take all of the rest of my life to see or hear any result in my question……patience is truly needed here.
      That may be part of GOD’S plan… test me…can i wait for any or all of the (answer).
      There may never be a resulution.
      I was reminded of a true man of God of old times…Smith Wigglesworth was a preacher…at about the turn of the century…..he loved God…..he gave all to God and for Our Lord And Savior…..Smith had a young child who was born deaf…..he prayed for her believing as always that Jesus was and is the Great Healer……now Mr. Wigglesworth (through the power of God) allowed God to use him to heal many people….however his young daughter never experienced the healing power that would have made her hear …….now should i allow doubt to cloud my thinking???????******OF COURSE NOT.
      Jesus is was and always is the GREATEST DOCTOR EVER……..I simply need to fall back on my faith….believing in the unseen……my friends call me stupid for believing in something not seen……well i will be stupid……because i love and live for an INVISIBLE …unseen ……being…….The Lord of Lords….JESUS.
      Thank you for reading my thoughts,
      Michael B.

  57. g on October 15, 2019 at 11:59 pm

    I have a question for anyone who can give me godly wisdom or advice. I have OCD (not diagnosed) and I obsessively make promises to God about everything- even the most mundane things. Its really messed my life up and it has been happening since I was in middle school. I have made so many promises that to keep them all I would not have anytime to do anything else. I feel like I have mapped out my life through these promises and I am forced to walk in this path that I made. Ive made promises about where to go to college, what to study, what type of job I will not get. I’ve promised not to buy certain cars, clothes; eat certain foods; go to certain places; play video games; I’ve promised to wash my clothes in a certain pattern; not marry certain types of people- its exhausting.
    But now I realize that the career and major that I have promised to commit to would be a bad idea. I have little interest in it, I’ve promised to not take almost every possible job related to it (so my job options are narrow) and I can’t afford to go to go to college and then get a job that pays very little money. Ive made so many promises I just feel trapped and I feel like I’m tiptoeing everyday to make sure I don’t break one. I want to be free and I’ve told God I don’t want to make anymore promises but I always do because i want to make sure that I don’t accidentally promise NOT to do something that I want to do. I think maybe I could just not keep my promises because they hinder me from walking in Christ’s freedom but then I think that then I will be living in unrepentant sin everyday. I don’t know what to do.

    • Loret on October 16, 2019 at 7:26 am

      You may feel this is over simple but I do know where you are coming from when I say this. Takes 3 weeks to break or make a habit. Do not make another promise again. Recognize when you start to do it, and stop yourself, right there, before you finish. What you are doing is walking in your own power so learn to wait on Him. Psalm 55:22, Isaiah 41:13, Matt 6:25 This is entrapment by the enemy and he’s rolling on the floor, laughing that he’s got your focus on himself and not the Father. James 4:8 Eph 6:12 Then think on all things about God Get into the Word by studying it so your thoughts are about God and your focus is on God. That way when you aren’t studying, you have Godly stuff to think about so you are filling your mind with Him rather than yourself. Joshua 1:8, Psalm 1:2

    • Carey Nieuwhof on October 16, 2019 at 4:59 pm


      You are in a tough position, I can’t give you a complete solution, but I can give you a couple of recommendations.

      1. It might be a good idea to talk through this with a licensed Christian counselor. They have been a massive help in my life many times, and they would be able to help you navigate this struggle better than I.

      2. One danger that I have to be aware of is letting “today Carey” make decisions for “future Carey.” There are many occasions where I have made a decision in the past that I end up regretting because I have grown in wisdom or perspective since I made the decision/promise.
      So all of these promises that “past you” made might be doing “present you” more harm than good.
      What if you worried a little bit less about the promises you have made to God, and began to refocus on the promises God has made to you?

      Does that make sense? Talking about this with a pastor you are close to would be a good idea also!

      I’m cheering for you!


      • NancyD on October 23, 2019 at 3:03 pm

        I am struggling with applying for this position at a Christian Retreat Center. I have great respect for this organization and the position would be a step up for me, using all my gifts and talents plus getting me out of my comfort zone. However, I am very afraid to mention this to my husband because I don’t think he’d support me. He just retired a few months ago, we moved and are living in a lovely renovated farmhouse. I am growing increasingly disgruntled with my job at a college; I cannot see God working anywhere here. If I apply for this other position we’d have to move again, however we’d be closer to my family but further away from my husband’s family. We are both older and as you said in your article, probably afraid to take any more risks. However, I have been feeling unsettled and unfulfilled for several years now. Your prayers would be appreciated.

        • Kimberly on March 31, 2020 at 9:09 pm

          It’s been months since you wrote this, but, as of this moment, I’m praying for you. I’m a strong believer in following your heart, if your heart is in Christ. … I’m praying that you and your husband are still strong in Him, that you’ll continue to talk and pray things through, and that you’ll remember how pure, new faith blessed Ruth to say to Naomi, “I will follow you.” . … If pure faith can bless a converted person to say to her mother-in-law, of all people, “I will follow you,” how much stronger a devoted response could a believing husband have toward his wife? … I don’t know what decisions you and yours have made in life, but there’s probably always more peace in going with God.

    • N.P on October 18, 2019 at 10:17 am

      You are not perfect so stop trying to be.
      Stop relying on yourself.

      Sometimes it is as simple as that.

      Philippians 1:6 He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.
      2 Timothy 1:3 God has not given you a spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind
      Philippians 4: 6 Be Anxious for nothing and in everything through prayer supplication and thanksgiving let your request be known to God so that the peace of God which passeth all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus

      RELAX………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. Have Faith in JESUS

      • Kimberly on March 31, 2020 at 9:35 pm

        I think Loret, Carey, and Rae have given “g” the best advice. I think it’s wrong to throw Philippians 1:6 at her, as if to hold her to something she promised, through ignorance, in the past, instead of encouraging her to form a new habit of finding the freedom and purpose in Christ that she knows she needs. From the way things sound, it wasn’t Christ — it wasn’t the Holy Spirit — doing spiritual work in her when she was making promise after promise; and it’s not fear that led her to realize she’s made decisions and promises according to her own understanding instead of according to her godly desires and convictions. It’s after she takes steps to begin living freely in Jesus that He can finish, in her, anything she is truly being faithful about. … Amen?

    • raenor burrow on November 1, 2019 at 1:06 am

      Dear sister in Christ
      I sense your childhood perhaps felt out of control and you relied on God as your go to for all things. I also did this, and when we dont understand Gods love and will and desire for our lives we do make promises over and over.. This is often a coping strategy for ourselves to feel a sense of control in a unstable environment. Often the promises we make go like this ” Lord if you help me “I promise to do or not do something: or pls Lord help my friend,brother, parent ect and I promise…….
      The promise from you to the Lord I sense is always to do good ,to do better, to do what you think is going to beloved accepted and Good enough in Gods eyes . Good enough to make you worthy of Love.
      Sister the great news is there simply is nothing you can do or promise to do or not do that will make God love you any less. He gives his Love unconditionally regardless of weather we can keep our promises to do better to try harder ect. He knitted you together in your mothers womb, he has written all the days of your life already in his book, he knew you before you entered this world .. Today I feel an outpouring from heaven a release of freedom for you, from the spirit of God and deliverance from any spirit that had held u in bondage , all guilt and shame be removed from this child of God right now in the name of Jesus. sister you will be helo hostage any longer because of promises made and not met. remember promises that are not his will for you or promises not meet just because you are human do not equal you to be unworthy unloved or abandoned.
      FEAR leads us to make mistakes and promises . remember 11 Timothy 1;7
      and remember
      Roman’s 8 : 34 ; 39
      Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died………..For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
      Pray for insight into what the lords promise is over your life, I believe if you pray and truly listen He will surprise you. For his will and his desire and his way for you will be far better than yours….
      Sister have no guilt no shame and no condemnation this is not of God .
      Rest in Christ and he will be a light upon your path…
      I would love to hear from you and your journey ahead I feel it is an exciting one.

    • Lohan on April 19, 2020 at 6:42 pm

      “do nothing, leave nothing undone” : a saying i have recently read and instantly liked. It couples nicely with a saying that shaped my life: “patience is a virtue, to each his own”
      I have yet to receive praise for saying such things, and at times, I feel that burden carried by faith and wonder if living a full life could be what my purpose should be. This decision I am facing again after 10 “bad years”, now i know how little i knew about bad and good. I should not place others in my hands and tell God to make the best of it. Ask God to help, I have made a bad desicion, well that is what His love is all about. He who has no faith has not made bad decisions, his lack of wisdom did.

  58. Jenny on October 6, 2019 at 7:21 am

    I write this with great hesitation because I am not used to writing personal things on such platforms. But when I read what you’ve written I felt rather prompted to give my situation as I have been struggling for… Quite a while.
    I graduated last year with a degree that is so niche, it is very difficult to get a job in this field, especially in my small country. I may have possible luck if I ventured out but with no finance that becomes impossible.
    I struggle getting a stable job that isn’t related to my field and I have recently been focused on making my own game (my field) to make a name out of myself so it would be easier with job applications in the future. Yet I am constantly doubting if I made the right choice and if I should just go settle for some retail job. I am so afraid of next year in ‘what to do’. I don’t know if my game will do well, I don’t know if the tefl course I’ve recently completed will do me any good in getting a job over seas next year, I don’t know if I should settle to continuoislt search for a retail job despite failing for months.
    Before I had settled to work on my game, I had spent six months job hunting within my field of design and had been rejected countless times. I spent 6weeks in telefunding and it brought me great anxiety and stress and made me completely miserable. It was after quitting that job that I started my game making.
    I am rather resolute in finishing my game this year but it doesn’t stop me from going what will happen in 2020? What do I do for income? I’m an adult now I can’t continue being such a poor loser. I can’t continue to live off of my parent’s grace.
    I want to trust God everything will be okay for 2020 but doubt suffocates me. I feel so lost and afraid. I want him to direct me and tell me what to do.

  59. Kevin van der Merwe on October 2, 2019 at 3:13 pm

    WOW!! My father advised me yesterday to read through this page….i discussed it in our group format this morning during our daily devotions. Also shared the link with my worship team and cell-group. Just read it again….for a few reasons im so stuck on what you said and how you said it Carey. Thankyou so much. So many challenges await my arrival at work, at church with the worship team, at other churches where im of help, at my youth-group, at the rehab center where i counsel. Because of work, church and the rehab, i now basically reside in 3 different locations. I LOVE IT! Because i made a decision, trusted God and just went for it. It has been tough…it’s been amazing too! Thankyou for the confirmation in what im doing and to the HOW im doing it….the near future challenges will see my arrival with full force. There’s a heavenly prize at the end of every race……thankyou thankyou THANKYOU!!!!! With Love….Kevin….South Africa

    • Rachel Bailey on October 13, 2019 at 11:06 am


  60. Becca Z on September 26, 2019 at 5:15 pm

    I’m so glad you wrote this, I’ve thought that sometimes the “wise, conservative route” isn’t necessarily where God is leading. We want to buy a different house, not an earth shattering decision…just trying to decide about schools and bedrooms, etc… the one we found we really like, it’s less fancy than the one we have now, but houses are SO expensive where we live we feel like this is a crazy decision even though it’s not an expensive house compared to others and it’s just somewhat more expensive than the one we already own. I’m good at opening doors that are stuck though, so I really hope that God blesses this or just slams the door in my face.

    • Michelle on October 21, 2019 at 1:34 pm

      We are in the same boat, looking at houses and wondering if we should be okay with what we have, or buy a house that is more expensive but would allow us to be better hosts, could host youth group events, grow as a family. We don’t want to be irresponsible but we want to be available to greater things which our current house doesn’t really allow for (it is already difficult to host our care group here when it is our turn.) Both options seem bad: not move out of fear, move out of selfishness. I wish I had peace and clarity about this decision.

  61. Licsy on September 25, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    Back in May, I made the decision to enroll into a university that is miles away from home (you know what that means, out-of-state=double the tuition) at the time when I made that decision I was going through a rebellious spiritual phase and didn’t consult with God if this was the right decision. I didn’t even put into consideration the financial situation my family was in and is still going through today or how expensive this university is. About a week or two I went to a youth service at my church back at home and the preacher told me that God wanted to know what I wanted from him, there were many things I wanted from him but when the preacher told me this I broke down in tears because I had failed God many times and yet here was this man telling me this and that just made me want closure with God and that was my answer to the question that God had asked me through this preacher. Since that day I been working on my spiritual life, reading my bible and praying, I even been listening to gospel music which I always avoided when I was going through my rebellious phase. Back to the point, now that I am finally going to start my first year of university I figured that is two late to cancel my enrollment and look for a more affordable school, if I cancel now I will have to pay thousands upon thousands of money to federal aid. Anyway I been having a lot of doubt lately, I come from a low-income family and my dad lost his job since June and hasn’t been able to get another job for a long time, since he’s a mechanic he sometimes get offers to fix some cars and that’s how he pays part of our family’s bills but he is now basically deep in debt, my mom stopped working 4 years ago after my 6 year old baby sister had surgery and ever since she hasn’t been able to get a job. I been putting my trust in God that he will provide me with money to pay my tuition bill which is due October 6 and that he will provide my dad with a job. In my church back at home I always heard a sister in Christ giving testimonies on how she has never worked once ever since she came to the states from Puerto Rico and God always keeps her bank and fridge full, I always think about her testimonies and I think “wow God is great and he will help me move mountains if I put all my trust in him” but sometimes the enemy starts putting so many doubts in my head that God isn’t going to help with anything and has been telling me that I am a fool for putting my family in a worse situation that what they’re already in, he has even made me think of doing things for money which I always rebuke because the enemy doesn’t have another chance in my life and never will. Also before anyone asks, YES I’ve applied for every loan and have gotten them denied, no one wants to cosign for me and I truly understand because it is a big responsibility, I’ve also been applying for scholarships since I was in high school and never got anything and until now I am still applying for as many scholarships as I can but despite all these negative things happening I still have my faith and trust in God because I know that he is not going to let me go through this situation alone, he is eventually going to step in and I will be able to rest in ease. (Psalms 23:4) Also may I add that ever since I have been seeking closure with God the enemy has been attacking my family badly, my dad has had two car accident this month so if anyone reads this please keep my dad and family in prayer.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on September 26, 2019 at 9:49 am

      We will certainly be praying.

      Hoping for better days ahead.


    • Shauna Ventura on September 30, 2019 at 9:32 pm

      I am going to be praying for you as well. My whole family has been being attacked as well, my sister passed away in 2011 and now her son has just graduated but that’s not all because my daughter graduated last year and is in College now. My daughter is rebellious too and wants nothing to do with God and has so much anger towards me that she moved out because I set rules down, well my uncle helped her get my old Jeep fixed for her and after he got a lot of things fixed and it running good she had an accident. I’m thankful God was with her because the truck hit her driver door and because it was a 1994 Jeep she was really soar and her under garment was ripped in half but it could have been much worse. I have my 22 son who lives with me and he works but does nothing around the house, I have my nephew here trying to get him a job but he only seems interested in drawing and playing video games, My 22 son’s friends are always over which one is pretty much staying here too because his car broke down and he needs rides to work, I have a 17 going to graduate high school this year, I have a 15 year old son, my husband is incarcerated for not checking in with his probation officer for 7 years ( it was before we ever met and he has stayed out of trouble but couldn’t deal with the probation officer) and my mom stays with me too. So yeah, all of this and my boss fired me today and what was worse is I had been talking to him about God and gave him a letter of my Testimony and today he was pretty much putting me down about all the troubles I have had now and in the past, it was and still feels like I have no strength to do anything anymore but I will keep trying to trust him and I hope you do the same. God Bless you and I pray your dad will be okay, he will get a financial Blessing to see the family through as well as your sister be okay, your mom find strength and you get all the financial blessing to make it through school in Jesus name, Amen. I also want to say, watch on YouTube Joni Meyer Extreme couponing on CBN, she has several clips from Extreme couponing but the one from CBN she explains how you can start couponing just start out little and there are several sites who do the work of finding the deals for you like Crazy Coupon Lady and Joni’s site called Free Tastes Good. God Bless you.

      • Elizabeth on October 9, 2019 at 10:02 am

        I disagree with any respondents who a) judge you for lack of faith or b) put any blame on you in any way. There is absolutely NOTHING you need to “repent” of. Come on, people!!! This is not the freakin’ Republic of Gilead!!!

        I’m a nobody with an MDiv, so listen up. You do need to 1) pray fervently for God’s guidance and your son’s protection. 2) Exhaust every legal avenue to help your son. Have you gotten a lawyer or legal aid? Is your son capable of expressing himself about the abuse directly to Teachers, Social Workers, Kids Help Line etc.? His direct testimony might get things rolling. Have you sought the help of a Women & Children’s organization? Ultimately, all knowledge and all authority comes from God, so don’t hesitate to get help where you can, even if it’s secular. Make a list of all the organizations and resources in your area that might help, then tell your story to each one. You are not alone! God can work through anyone. God wants your child safe, and He never slumbers nor sleeps. He WILL repay the abuser. Do your part, trust in Him and just watch the battle happen around you. God will win it for you.

        • Patty on November 28, 2019 at 8:14 am

          Elizabeth, that is excellent advice.

  62. Clair on September 1, 2019 at 8:05 am

    My son’s father is sexually abusing him. I reported my sons father in may 2019 but no evidence was found. Two weeks ago my son’s father badly abused him. Because of fear I didn’t report again despite knowing it was God’s timing. I let fear overtake me and I did nothing. I was like a wave on the sea that day with every demon crowding my mind when trying to decide what to do. The courts and social workers are threatening to take my child because I resisted visitation. My family are on my sons father’s side and say I am imagining things. The court has now granted his father visitation. I called the police last night and told them about two weeks ago. They said there was nothing they could do. Of course the timing is all wrong now. My son’s father would be in jail if I had used this opportunity. I look back at that day, two weeks ago, and I honestly cannot understand why I didn’t go to police. The evidence was there. My son is now at this moment with his father and it’s my fault. I have been soft on evil and allowed my son to be handed over to his abuser for more suffering. I cannot imagine the pain my son is going through because of my betrayal and lack of protecting him. The police have told me it’s going to be very hard to get evidence. How long will I have to wait for Gods timing again? How much damage does my son have to endure because I chose the path of least resistance? How can I ever forgive myself for having no faith?

    • Harmony on September 1, 2019 at 4:33 pm

      Why not pray in faith that God will protect your son against his abuser. God is love and pure and would not want to punish you through a moment of your faulting through your son, that is the enemy taking over your mind. Trust in the Lord, he is good, he is sovereign, HE IS LOVE!!! You may not know what is coming but He will protect your son as you trust him to do so.

    • Diane S on September 6, 2019 at 8:53 am

      Clair, make sure you repent for giving into fear (the enemy), AND forgive your sons father. He will not only forgive you (He already knows your weaknesses… we’re human and He offers grace), but He will start to give you more insight as to what the father is going through so you can pray for him. Pray that God will part the read sea for your son in this situation. “The fervent prayer of a righteous one avails much”. James 5:16

      Trust God as Carey says; God is working. What the enemy intents for harm, God will turn it around for good.

      • Andrea Bradford on September 19, 2019 at 12:43 pm

        You can not let him see your Son. That is what GOD would want you to do. If not, he will kill your son.

    • Lucille Yuen on September 16, 2019 at 2:44 am

      I would recommend you ask the Lord to lead you to an attorney and consult with him or her as to what to do to GET EVIDENCE so you can put the jerk father in prison for child rape. You can also reach out to a Christian child psychologist and have your son talk to him or her. You ask “how much damage does my son have to endure?” NONE, act now. Don’t let the evil continue.

    • Frank on September 23, 2019 at 8:10 am

      Obey, no matter the consequences. The word commands that we suffer in His name. Do what you’ve been ordered to do.
      Let the fire come and burn away what doesn’t belong and when it passes all that will be left is what God has for you.
      What’s the worst that could happen?
      Were not here to serve our own interests if Gods plan is for you to deny visitation.Do it. If Gods plan includes real world consequences….that’s your cross to bear.Bear it.

      Sure it sounds harsh,but sin and fear arent here to offer grace and mercy. Unlike some in this world you know how it ultimately ends so go forward as a staunch and obedient servant,just don’t make the mistake of denying this man the grace and mercy you also received.

  63. James R smith on August 17, 2019 at 9:58 pm

    18 yrs I struggled. I had the same thought all the way through. I’ve been being invested in for 18 yrs and I never lost my faith once. I ain’t doubting you now! Let’s started investing in some people! And change this world!

  64. Tiaunna on August 14, 2019 at 8:40 am

    Hi, my name is Tiaunna Hawkins and 3 years ago my son was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. After the initial overwhelming fear of feeling I was caught off guard…meaning not wholeheartedly committed to the Lord at the time. I began to seek Him. Seek His face presence, Word and wisdom. I have been praying, fasting and seekingHis face unable to receive this diagnosis knowing that it is not His will because He is a healer and He never changes. Hallelujah!! Last night as I prayed in tears reminding Him of His promises I believe He healed my son. I believe I was instructed to get rid of all of the stuff/ take up my bed and walk and to step out in faith. My question is not did Father say this to me because I know His voice. My question is after consulting with my husband I don’t know if I can be obedient. I know that our Father is a God of order and He has made him head of our home and that I am to submit to him but…

    • Jamie on August 25, 2019 at 9:10 pm

      Take up your bed? I’m confused, can you explain?

    • Loret on August 26, 2019 at 7:48 am

      I’m curious to know if your reference about submitting to God means you are standing on Isaiah 53:5; by His stripes we are healed? Because if you are that verse is misused to think it is for physical healing. If you read the few verses before, Jesus took that whipping for us, because of our sin we deserved that, so we may be restored to the Father, through salvation by His overcoming death on the Cross. Illness is not a curse from God because of disobedience or imperfections with our faith. If that were true, we’d all be sick. Illness is simply because this world is broken, fallen and not working the way God intended. God does answer every prayer, prayed in His will, but there will be answers we will not see on this earth. I’m sorry your son is dealing with a chronic illness. I do too and I can tell you I’m thankful for it because it has given many opportunities to witness, comfort and support people in ways that I could not, if I didn’t understand how hard it is to regulate my life around medical needs. So I would urge you not to stop your sons medicine. Rather seek God to show you the purpose of your son’s illness because Rom 8:28 is true: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Who knows, perhaps you or your son, or both of you, will be using this situation for a new treatment advancement, help lift someone else out of despair … the opportunities blessings are limitless with God. So I encourage you to seek Him on the why and direction on how to get through this. And especially how to guide your son through this so that he knows he has a loving Heavenly Father always helping him.

  65. Erin on August 11, 2019 at 9:36 am

    My family has just gone through an intense six year legal battle that has left us financially broke. A former family friend of my husband’s parents sued us. He had gone to my husband’s family asking for help as a partnership to invest in his commercial property (as our family owned the other half of the block). An emotional tie to help a friend turned into a costly investment that sadly lost all of my husband’s inheritance. 13 years ago my husband sadly ended their business partnership as he had no money left to invest. It ended with both parties disappointed, but on fair and what we thought were peaceful terms. Fast forward years later after my husband and I bought our first home – and he sued us for a million dollars. We have four kids and defending us through this legal battle has cost us over $200,000. We have had cars repossessed, people knock on our door for failure to pay the mortgage. We have relied on my parents to buy groceries and keep a roof over our children’s head and food in their bellies. 3 years into the legal mess the former business partner family friend suing us passed away. His attorney continued the case for another three years (working on contingency) with the head of his trust. We won 5 appeals and the first trial with the judge telling the attorney this case was frivolous and of malicious intent. Because of a loophole they were able to appeal that decision and get a retrial and as of June 2019 WON the second trial with my family now broker from years of defending ourselves against this case also no owing a judgement of 1 million we obviously don’t have.
    I have forgiven this attorney and the lady who is the executor of the trust. They have caused tremendous suffering and hardship on my family and most painful my four young children. That said, I believe this has been a test of our faith. We will NOT grow weary in well doing or hardened or bitter by what has happened to us. In fact, we are determined to turn this story of defeat into one of victory. We just appealed the decision and had to borrow more money to pay our attorney for what could be another year of legal expenses we cannot afford. During this though, we took a trip to Costa Rica to get away from everything to gain clarity. While there, we decided we want to sell everything we have a move to Costa Rica with our children to live a life of more purpose and peace. We want to launch a charity offering all expense paid vacations to those in need (suffering from grief and loss of a loved one, terminal illness, financial hardship, etc) an opportunity to vacation at our new property in Costa Rica to experience hope and peace and healing.

    We are scared. This move is a big deal and obviously not an easy task to accomplish during a time in life where we are confused and vulnerable. Yet, we feel our troubles are what gave us the courage to risk it all and chase our dream. Is it foolish, and unwise. Or is this dream and longing truly God encouraging us to pursue his will for our family and our future path?

    • Loret on August 11, 2019 at 7:27 pm

      You’re broke: cars repossessed, mortgage in arrears, borrowing money for an appeal yet buy real estate in Costa Rica? I’ve been through foreclosure and they don’t “knock on the door”. It’s all handled by certified mail. There is no extradition treaty between the US and Costa Rica……I have to ask……Are you for real? And if you are, are you running?

      • Erin on August 11, 2019 at 8:19 pm

        Obviously, in a short synopsis on the comment I cannot detail ALL that occurred over SIX years. I am no longer behind on our mortgage, not have been for a long time. This DID happen during several low points before we asked family for help. And my cars are now paid off, but yes years ago they had been behind on payments and that happened twice. Again, SIX years is a long time and has been a whirlwind of financial hardship and stress on our family. I debated resolving at all as your comment seems to be coming from someone who doesn’t seem to be coming into this conversation with any pure intentions other than to criticize which means I’ve already decided not to pay attention to your opinion of that which you do not know or understand.

        We both work and earn decent income and still have equity in our home. That said, we have four children and have lost hundreds of thousands to defend ourselves against what a judge ruled was done out of frivolous and malicious intent. Obviously, we aren’t running as we have nothing to run from? That also is NOT the point or the question I had asked. But I also realizing asking on here was a mistake. Have your opinion, but it is none of my business or concern. Nor will I allow your criticism or negativity to stop us from our well doing. I am sincerely sorry for you though.

        We also are confident we will win this appeal. But this experience has only left us questioning what matters to us and pursuing a life with more purpose. We visit Costa Rica often because it is a place we genuinely love and have considered moving to for years. It is a quick five hour flight from Southern California where we live and easy to travel between and return to. Not run from, but continue to enjoy. That’s YOUR perspective and clearly you are coming from a very different world than I exist in.
        To make false assumptions and accusations of “running” is proof you clearly have no concept of what you are talking about. Spending a year or a few years abroad with our family is only a beautiful thing and also very personal family choice. I have lived abroad before and would like for my children to have that experience and also to connect with their heritage. Why is that such a trigger and problem for you? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Angry even? I find that quite strange, but that’s your own issues to digest.
        I have only positive things to say about how living abroad has contributed to making me the person I am today and offered tremendous life perspective. I also realize now how foolish it was to open a question so deeply personal onto a forum as this as it allows internet trolls who are negative and condescending to try and perpetuate their own personal issues, fears and negativity onto total strangers – who they know nothing about.
        And the anger that you seem to be reacting with from my question – that is 100% your own problem to figure out. I do wish you well with that though. You don’t sound like a person who is at peace.

        • Loret on August 11, 2019 at 9:31 pm

          I did not say anything critical. Nor was I trying to demean you in any way. Your story raised the questions I asked, that is all. In your reply to my comments, sounds like you have no financial worries and I’m happy for you. Hope everything works out for you with great success and God blesses you.

    • Shantel on August 12, 2019 at 3:59 am

      My husband and I have been in a situation similar to your circumstances before and it lasted for what seemed to be the entirety of our 10 years of marriage. we have 5 children (a blended family) and have had the dreaded knock at the door a couple of times from our mortgage company all while taking care of my parents. All of our life savings have been spent and we have even faced homelessness, seems like we never really recovered financially, but through this, it seems we’ve received our calling to assist married couples with housing among other things. Not sure how we’re going to see the vision speak but we are certainly praying. Your situation has touched my heart and healed some regrets and to some degree encouraged me to continue to pray not only for ourselves but for yours and for persons in situations similar. I pray that God helps us both against the rage and fury of loss, the discouragement via attacks of the enemy through the words of others and that we do not lose the vision God has given to the fear the enemy brings during his attacks.

      I hope I see your ministry on the web soon and I hope we are in the financial place to sow into it.

      • Erin on August 12, 2019 at 11:38 am

        Shantel, I cannot THANK YOU enough for taking the time not only to read, but to comment. My heart was admittedly hurt after the first response I received. They took a dream to create a charity to help others and went immediately to a very deep and dark place and asked if “I was for real” questioning my sanity and insinuating we were “running away to avoid extradition?!” Not sure where that came from or where they were going with it, it assure youI won’t allow their opinion to stop our helping others with our nonprofit. I appreciate your response greatly though as you can not only relate, but came in with a genuine heart. So thank you!
        I hope we both have the courage to take our dreams to use the hurt and hardship we experienced from financial attacks and hardship and turn it into an opportunity to form our charitable work that will help others in a meaningful way – feeling inspired to do so from compassion we have gained THROUGH these years.
        This experience changes you deeply and I think forces you to re-examine your life and seek meaning and purpose from what has happened to us.
        You can become bitter and distrustful and lose faith, OR rise above and listen to what is pushing you from within to create something meaningful from what you hope one day to be able to look back at -as a blessing in disguise. Sometimes God works that way. He has to break down the walls surrounding you first to come into your life like a wrecking ball leaving you exposed and most vulnerable. Then you can begin to rebuild from the ashes – on his foundation and purpose. I will absolutely be praying for your family. I am sorry to hear a similar circumstance happened to you and feel empathy and love for you.
        I think what was the hardest part in this for me to get beyond for the longest time was that others intentionally inflict harm on people for self gain – and out of greed. That they are so disconnected from God they feel justified using the law to harm others. It wasn’t long ago the law once defended segregation and being racist as LEGAL. But just because the law allowed people to JUSTIFY unchristian like behavior obviously never made their actions okay. That’s the part that makes this scenario so tough. So many people go into tremendous financial loss after legal attacks pushed onto them by others (unnecessarily). It took me years years to forgive those who hurt us – but now truly see them as people who sadly have lost connection with God and that makes me view them through eyes of compassion.

        Please DO pursue you falling to help other couples. I believe the calling we feel during our most vulnerable times are no doubt a conversation with God and it is from this experience you are most qualified to do something incredible and life changing for many. You will be in my prayers. And please do keep an eye out for our nonprofit in the coming years. Waves Of Change. Olas de Cambia. We are intent on launching our charity one way or the other. It would be easier if we didn’t have the financial hardship and debt to begin with holding this from, but we likely wouldn’t have had the idea or desire to serve at all – without all the hurt and ability to feel SO much compassion from this life experience and it was necessary. I see it as my favorite bible study shares as what I believe is God’s way.
        He puts extraordinary tasks on the plates of ordinary people to show what an extraordinary God can do through them. Gotta love Priscilla Shirer. I suggest the Bible study discerning the voice of God to give you the comfort to trust your inner calling and have the courage to pursue it. I will be praying for you, Shantel. God bless you! 🙏❤️ And again, thank you for your kind words. It means a lot.

    • Shauna Ventura on September 30, 2019 at 10:18 pm

      In Jesus name, I am praying for your vision to come to pass for you and your family, Amen. We all have a purpose in life and the enemy likes to attack when we try to pursue our vision, ok going through that right now as my husband and I want to do Jail ministry because he had went through a tough life being raised by bad family members that made him make bad choices so now he wants to talk to Juvenile Detention Centers and Jails as well as I was in an abusive relationship for 13 years so I want to eventually have homes for single parents raising their kids after abuse for women and men of abuse and my husband also wants to have a shelter for people to go who are trying to get back on their feet after bad decisions. The enemy wants us not to accomplish our purpose of healing and helping others so we must stay strong, God Bless you and your family.

  66. Diane on August 4, 2019 at 4:21 pm

    I have been working at a church preschool as part take admin asst. for 9 months and Im also am a care giver to my partner. Long story short, the director who has been there now a year does not act as a Christian. She fights with parents, teachers and of cause me. The pastor of the church has come to me several months ago asking how I feel about her. Several co-workers have complained. Pastor believes he can help her heal and I have a good role in it.
    I’ve interviewed recently for a full time position as my parents have improved and I’ve gotten help they needed. I am in need to help my husband as he might have to retire early and we lose insurance.
    I’ve lost sleep because of my job. I’ve gained weight and now I’m having stomach issues. But I also have other things to consider going full time.
    Today as I was getting ready for church with my mind not wondering or thinking suddenly I thought something or heard, “ Trust in me, have faith. Don’t be anxious. You do not need to fix her, you need to move to I may do my work, trust in me.”
    I’ve been more so in prayer and digging deeper in my Bible.
    Is this just me or did I truly hear God?

  67. Dylan on July 16, 2019 at 10:13 am


    I started a new job about 3 months ago. The people are great, Christians, and truly want me to succeed. The problem is that the work I am doing doesn’t get me fired up. I never really expected to be working in this industry and because I didn’t major in this subject I am very very far behind the curve. So on top of not really being passionate about it, I am more of a glorified intern than a full time employee. So needless to say I feel under valued and don’t really make much of an impact.

    Through this struggle I have narrowed down that I have a passion for helping people. I have been thinking and praying for ways that I could use this passion as a career. I don’t care to be rich, but obviously money is still necessary to have so it needs to have some sort of profit.

    I have always enjoyed playing video games so I started looking down that route. There is a new thing called streaming through an app called Twitch where video gamers can watch other video gamers. It can be very profitable if you are charismatic and good at the games you play. However, I am not bad, but not great at these games. I am also not the most charismatic person out there.

    This is my plan. There are not a lot of christian video gamers out there and with the massive following of kids, I feel as if they are being led by poor role models. I want to pray for them and play with them to reach as many kids as possible and get them interested in learning more about or Lord and Savior.

    The problem I am having is it is likely it will be a long time before I start earning money through this endeavor and could honestly never happen. How am I supposed to leave my comfortable job with a comfortable salary that I don’t enjoy doing everyday for a job that I would love, but could potentially never earn a dime.

    I have a family I want to start and a girlfriend/wife I need to provide for. I have tried praying about this, but God’s voice is clouded by my insecurities and constant thinking and I can’t find a way to hear Him. I am struggling very hard in making this decision and I really have no idea what to do.

    I don’t expect anyone to tell me an answer (although that would be great), but if there is any way to guide me in hearing God’s voice or steps I could take to learn how to just go for it. This is a perfect situation of whether or not this is faithful or stupid. Please help

    • Carey Nieuwhof on July 16, 2019 at 1:34 pm

      Hey Dylan,

      I love hearing about your passion for people and to obey God’s calling on your life.

      This is such a great question and I am glad you asked. I had a similar question when I started my blog and podcast. I had a full-time career that I did enjoy, but I felt called to do this too.

      I would reccomend you do something similar to what I did when I first started the blog and podcast. When I started them, they were just passion projects that I did out of my basement on top of my other job. Maybe you should go through a season where you try your online ministry on the side while you keep your job.

      Apply some structure and discipline to your routine, and if you start to get traction in that ministry and get to a point where you can afford to quit your job and live off that ministries income, consider doing it then.

      Just my 2-cents, I hope this helps!

    • Loret on July 16, 2019 at 4:17 pm

      David started on a flock of sheep and learned how to be a leader with them, first. Having raised sheep I know there is a lot to learn about leading sheep. While working as a lowly shepherd, David learned to kill predators, how long to graze, how to move them from place to place for grazing. Shepherds were some of the lowest of low in Davids time and David was at the bottom. But David focused on the job at hand and applied himself. Little did he know what the future was going to bring. Because he became an expert with a slingshot and had learned how to stand his ground when facing charging lions and bears, he was well prepared when he took down a giant no one else would. And because he learned leadership from managing flocks of sheep when he became King he was ready to lead a nation. Perhaps you are right where you are meant to be because there is something for you to learn, for your future.

    • Chris Taylor on August 12, 2019 at 10:16 am

      Hi Dylan, as others have said, this isn’t an either-or decision, especially with video game streaming. Most of these guys (and a few women) started off part-time, doing it while they were earning a salary at a job. Only gradually did they go full-time. If you feel God is leading you to this, DO NOT quit your full-time job. Stream as a side hustle (and ministry!) wait, and pray; when it’s time, you will be able to do this as a full-time, self-supporting ministry. BTW, good for you! I won’t listen to a lot of video game streamers because the LANGUAGE — oh my goodness!

  68. Jenn on July 14, 2019 at 4:25 pm

    really would have loved more scripture references. its hard to say .. trust in God but you need to act or do something sometimes not just wait.

  69. Wake on July 9, 2019 at 5:13 pm

    Thanks for sharing this post.
    It’s precisely the sort of topic that stays on my mind.
    My husband and I started out individually, then jointly, in a life of pure faith. We dedicated our lives in pursuit of living by the scriptures, doing what made sense to us, as far as our faith took us (sort of the young-and-don’t-have-much-to-lose attitude you mentioned). Now we have more responsibility weighing on our shoulders with two kids, two car notes, a mortgage, bills, etc., and I can’t help but consider the future and possibilities that come with those responsibilities.
    My husband is the sole provider of our household, and we’re both okay with that. Financially, we make enough to make ends meet, occasionally have to use the credit card. Average middle class American type stuff, but again, living is tight. We don’t have insurance simply because we can’t afford insurance, and trust me we have researched every option. Thankfully, by the grace of God I believe, we are all healthy with no sort of true need for medical attention minus an occasional sick visit. I ponder our current financial situation and know that it gets us by with what we need for now, but think possibly not enough for future- example, life only gets more expensive as the kids get older with their needs and activities, financially there’s no room for growth of our family (like we could not afford to have another child), and I’d like to have more medical attention then an out of pocket sick visit. Cost for out of pocket expense adds up quickly and can simply be unaffordable. I’m considering going back to school for nursing to assist in financial income and acquiring insurance for our family. Both children will be school age, so there’s no schedule or responsibility conflict, and my husband is not against me working. So, for “real world problems”, it makes sense for me to help our family in that way.
    There has been no change in our desire to live a life pleasing to the Lord. Here’s the hang up (and I feel you accurately portrayed our conundrum in your description of Abraham traveling to an unknown land according to the feeling/voice in his head): For a long time, my husband and I have felt the Lord has been actively speaking into our lives, since day one, and I don’t want to undermine that/can’t stress that enough! It’s been very moving and convincing in various ways and has certainly helped dictate all the decisions we have made. It is very hard for me to put my foot down and make this decision about returning to school because of this. Truly, my husband prefers for me to stay home and for him to be the sole provider. I have felt that I should stay home and just tend to my family, stick to those duties. I have felt that is the Lord’s desire for my life. I have also felt the Lord has spoken to me about the benefits of staying home, staying in a position of being able to just focus on family and grow in a relationship with Him, reaping wisdom for the family, and more. It’s possible I could do something from home, but it would be difficult or at least slow to establish.
    Yes, everything has been good and worked out for us so far, following this hunch or “voice” along the whole way, and I don’t want to discredit or doubt God’s goodness in any way. I understand that we can trust in the Lord to provide in all ways, health, finances, whatever is to come or is needed. However, to what extent are we to rely on Him vs personal responsibility/capability? What is faith and what is foolish/irresponsible? I do understand that there’s no certainty in anything of the world, we can’t truly trust in money as our security, but I also realize that money is a necessary commodity to increase one’s ability and therefore opportunity in life. From experience, I have seen my husband’s job opportunities and income grow over the years, at a slow pace, and there’s no guarantee. We have been fueled off of “faith” for so long, I just question if this is the right direction, what steps we are to take. So am I wrong? Do I just continue to live in this direction of “faith”, trusting in the Lord the whole way to make everything happen as we go, or is it permittable for me to assist our family in securing financial stability and the opportunities that come with it??
    This is my attempt to get counseling from fellow Christians. We do belong to a church, but I know they are very bias in how family life should be conducted/what that should look like, and I just don’t feel comfortable approaching them with this subject.
    Thank you for all your responses in advance!

    • Loret on July 10, 2019 at 6:36 am

      Proverbs 31 Woman worked; she managed a clothing and real estate business , kept the farm (in that time everyone grew produce and livestock for feeding themselves), raised the children. Her husband went out and serve the public. She worked and made money for the family and God holds her in high esteem. Do what you feel you need to take care of your family. God is not going to condemn you while blessing her. If your friends criticize you, well they are not your judge, so tell them to read Proverbs 31. He will bless you and your efforts, too. God Bless

  70. Michelle on July 2, 2019 at 4:21 am

    Wow. Reading this post (found the link to it in a newsletter from She Is Bold) really humbled me. Such a deep question and so many people are struggling with it. I am in need of knowing whether to take out a loan for my residency permit for completing my studies abroad (I already have some debt) or whether I should apply in faith for my residency permit with my current bank statements. The application needs to prove that you can take care of yourself while living abroad. Which sadly does not appear in my current bank statement.

    It makes me nervous to take out the loan because I realise deep down, hidden under the rocks of ‘wisdom’ is fear. Fear that I won’t be able to make repayments. Fear that I’ll always remain in debt. Fear of ‘I should have known better’. Fear of God being angry. And I realised that beneath all these fears is the belief that God is actually angry at me as a default. That I believe He needs to be appeased by obedience and I have to work it out on my own – if I will make the right decision or not. So the approach is totally punitive and vindictive. Which goes against what the Word says about God’s heart. So really most big life events, whether they include making decisions or not, bring me back to this question of God’s heart towards me.
    I struggle to accept and understand unconditional love. It’s as if I don’t trust myself to not take ‘advantage’ of it, but your quote from Augustine summed it up so beautifully. I don’t want to hurt God. And the decisions I make take that into account (that’s why I take them so seriously). But He wants me to know that He loves me just as much as I want Him to know I love Him through wanting to make the ‘right’ choice.
    When it comes down to the core of it: this decision making process is so closely linked to the Love relationship between God and my heart that, it is in trusting that He knows my heart; that I learn to live in His love and trust my own self to be His child. And I suppose then instead of understanding unconditional love through thinking, I begin to understand it through living and being it. And knowing that you’re loved unconditionally dissipates the fear and gives you the faith to step out knowing God’s got you. Thank you for this article. God bless you for sharing it with us.

    • Ellie on July 7, 2019 at 1:10 pm

      Wow. The relationship between you and God and how He effects your decision making has been my exact struggle since I can remember. I’ve never had anyone I’ve talked to understand why my fear runs so deep about any decision. I’m struggling with trusting myself and never making any big moves because I always feel that He is not only already angry at me but will inevitably be displeased with me. I never want to do anything to upset Him or be out of His will, so I do nothing.

  71. Steve on June 24, 2019 at 8:59 pm

    In my devotional last night (Blackaby) God shared he would send someone for me to serve in some way so be attentive. Today I received a note of need from a long time but distant friend of mine who is in the ministry and struggling financially. They are looking for a small loan which I can afford but does “hurt” somewhat to make if not paid back.
    I am praying for guidance and in the meantime offering advice to my friend on how they may approach their creditor to offer a solution but have not yet offered the funds. I feel God is asking me to help my friend and testing my faith in Him and His desire for me to serve others above myself. Faith or stupidity?
    It is difficult even give what appears to be such a clear message in my devotional to know if God is involved in this or it’s simply circumstance. I do not want to miss being an instrument of God’s activity. What an awesome feeling to believe God has made a request for me to help because I can. But still the question: God is this you??

    • K. Johnson on June 25, 2019 at 4:57 pm

      Someone I met a long time ago was in the habit of saying “I have a feeling … .” … So I have a feeling, based on how you’ve expressed your faith, that yours may be a calling from Heaven. Pray, and keep praying. Pray about the amount and your own needs; then do what you know will leave you feeling peace and even joy. … Heaven loves a cheerful giver, and that’s one way we know we’re answering a call. There’s no regret, no matter the outcome. In fact, Jesus said to “love ye your enemies, and do good and lend, hoping for nothing in return,” hoping for nothing except fullness of heart in the Spirit — pressed down and shaken together for our good. … Guard your heart, because the work of your heart effects everything you do in life, a proverb says. But give when the Spirit so leads. As a childhood song says, “I’m going to pray when the Spirit says pray, and obey the Spirit of the Lord!”

  72. Anonymous 123 on June 20, 2019 at 9:18 am

    I would like to go on this missions trip but I may or may not have an exam to write during that same time period. Should I still go even if I’m not sure my exam is scheduled then and believe in God that it would be at another date or is it Him telling me I shouldn’t go?

    • K. Johnson on June 20, 2019 at 2:47 pm

      Have you prayed about it? Have you asked Heaven whether you’re being wise? What is Jesus whispering to your heart? Is He saying you have not an answer, because you ask not? … Why not talk with your professor, tell him or her about the mission trip, and ask whether there will be an exam at that time, and, if so, whether he or she can offer you the exam in advance? With prayer.

  73. Don't Believe on June 12, 2019 at 2:09 pm

    Who the hell is God?

    • Gayle on June 14, 2019 at 7:18 am

      We are very confused. After being out of work for 4 years due to recession, finally received a great job. Worked hard, made great strides in the corporation and turned near disaster meetings into solid projects. Was in huge debt, tithed then let off tryinh to to get many things paid off. Just as about to turn corner and return to tithe year to date of hire was let go. 4 weeks later rehired as contractor for same company. Had to pay back swell of payments owed. Tithed, but not 10% because of the commitments and had more out of pocket work expenses. Year to date again discrepancy over timesheet, not on any projects. And no pay today on pay day.

      We have been faithful, attend church every Sunday, husband serves in the procession and for funerals. The whole family goes to bible study on Sunday and Wednesday. We tend to the sick in our parish and amongst our friends. Our kids are involved with this too. We pray gratitude together as a family for our trials and triumphs and for guidance.

      Still here in debt in faith waiting for real deliverance and abundance and peace. Its been a real struggle that has affected health, but we keeping looking to Our Lord to find solid ground to do his will.

      • Beth on July 3, 2019 at 8:10 am

        Dear Sister, I prayed that God will reveal Himself to you, as the God who sees and the One who listens and the One who acts. Praying that your situation will improve.

    • D w on June 29, 2019 at 12:38 pm

      Great question. If you want tonknow the answer, then you must seek him out earnestly. Otherwise, He isnthe Creator and Jesus the Christ is the person of God. Jesus is the best answer to your question, because Jesus is God in the flesh.

  74. Lee Toliver on June 11, 2019 at 11:28 pm

    For us believers, we can all put our trust in God and make the right decisions. That doesn’t mean that the right decision will always be made, but as long as you pray on it, put God first, and execute, you’re still moving. God does not condemn those that move. He condemns those that become stagnant and waits for….What, that is the question.

    This article is wonderful. It teaches us to make a freaking decision, if you’re a believer, put God in front of that decision, and Go for it. If you’re waiting to see what God has to say, you’re not in the right frame of mind. Your works are the key. Give her something to bless you for.

    • Kate Ward on July 1, 2019 at 8:31 am

      Thank you. That was really helpful. I was having trouble sleeping, I was awake from 2:30 to 5 the other night and I got such a clear directives on what to do with my business. But it totally freaked me out. When I launched my company a year ago, I took some risks that I had to really work hard to fix. So any risk taking now scares me.

  75. Anonymous on June 8, 2019 at 7:18 am

    God is a real filthy scumbag for Not giving me a wife and family that i really wanted. Feminism is too blame as well.

    • JJ on June 12, 2019 at 10:53 am

      He didn’t give me that either – but God has made himself my “wife” when I gave up my demand over my desires. I suggest you deeply look at your resentment and demand for a wife; yes a wife is a good thing, but at the cost of God it is worthless. He will fulfill your every need and give you deeper joy if you let him – and then maybe he will give you that wife you always wanted.

      • Anonymous on June 12, 2019 at 2:18 pm

        Having a wife is like having a gift of life since many of us single good men would rather be married with a family, instead of being single and growing very old all alone which is very unhealthy and depressing as it is. Life sucks as it is, and being alone is worse altogether. It is very funny how God blessed so many other men to be married with a family. Why not too? Didn’t God say that man shouldn’t be alone? And being single has so many disadvantages as well. Just too much to list. That is why the other married men out there have so very much to be very thankful for.

  76. LV on June 2, 2019 at 4:19 pm

    I’ve been bitter towards God for a long time now over this very topic: The lack of clear direction from Him on what He wants from me. Haven’t we all experienced the ‘laying out of the fleece’ during difficult times, crying out for guidance on big issues (marriage, divorce, job changes, etc) only to be disappointed by His silence? After struggling to find direction in two specific areas of my life for many years, only to be going around in this neverending circle of ‘What does He want from me?’….. I finally realized something. All the times I’ve layed out the fleece with prayers and petition, it’s always self-serving. It has never been about ‘What does God want me to do for HIM?’ Nope. I have been disappointed and bitter about His silence for half of a lifetime now, because I want Him to serve ME (and my goals, and my wants, and my loves, and my careers). Hmmm…. I don’t like the idea of serving someone other than myself. And to be fair, the example you used of the Pastor looking to change buildings for his congregation, well, even he didn’t get a clear answer from God either, so… maybe I’m onto something, maybe I’m not.

    • Tony M on June 3, 2019 at 1:53 am

      The just shall live by faith. So often we look for signs instead of simply having faith and taking the next step. This is a place that I have come to over and over. The right thing to do is to take that step, trusting that God will respond to our faith. If it is something that God’s Word has clearly stated as a moral wrong, then God will not give His blessing. Howbeit, if it is a desire that is not wrong, than where did that desire come from? Is every desire bad? Can God use our desires to string us along a course of rejections and seeming failures to get us to the destination, that He has in mind. It is His will, clearly, according to Scripture, that we believe on Him. Not just in Him as Who He says He is, but what He says (His Word). In John 15, Jesus repeats that we should ask for what we want, so long as we abide in Him, and He abides in us. The purpose is that our joy
      would be full. He promises that the process of abiding in Him will result in recieving what we desire. As a born-again believer, baptized in Jesus Name, according to Acts 2:38, I have prayed for what I want and have often been disappointed. I think that this has developed me as a believer. I have a faith that has been battle tested and I still believe that greater and better things are ahead. Whatever the road of life brings, I know that it will be an answer to my prayers. The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths. I do not believe that a true sold-out child of God wanders aimlessly. If we will truly seek His direction and prayer, we can be confident that He will lead us. Our attitude is so important to God. The Father seeks worshippers to worship Him in spirit and in Truth (honesty). The sacrifices of God are a broken heart, a broken and a contrite heart He will not refuse. The broken heart and broken spirit is best illustrated by Jesus in the garden of gethsemene, as He prayed, “nevertheless, not my will, but Thine…”. Dissolution, brokeness, failure, etc. are things that God’s people are called to suffer. Through it all God can His people back to life. Jesus said, “he that believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live, and he that lives and believes in me shall never die”. This is what real discipleship is and costs. “He that will come after me, let him take up his cross daily and follow me, he that will find his life shall lose it and he that will lose his life for my sake, shall find it”. When we die to ourselves than are we truly free of the world’s influence on our direction and can live to the limitless reality that exists in God. Jesus said, “he that endures to the end shall be saved”. The hardest part is waiting and the temptation to settle is, sadly, so often
      chosen. Have real faith in God and do not settle for anything less than God’s best.

    • Andrew on June 21, 2019 at 9:49 pm

      I am learning hard about this lesson of getting directions from Him . I find it difficult to trust Him after failures of listening from Him .

  77. Emma on May 29, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    Well…here goes it. I’ve always wanted to pursue a teaching career and have recently graduated with my degree. During my studies, I’ve been blessed with a job that accommodated with my school schedule and allowed flexibility with shifts. I teach Sunday School at my parent’s church and have been more active with the youth as well as creating lessons and their curriculum for the upcoming summer. I enjoy working with them and find myself creating new lesson plans and ideas on my days off. I’ve been told by others that it’s a calling but I’m unclear. Recently, I’ve been indecisive with my next moves and would like to continue on and obtain my Masters in School Psychology or Mental Health and I’m waiting on God to guide my path. I’ve asked in prayer and in simple conversations with God and sometimes it feels as if I’m answering myself. I want to be able to know that the decision and path the I make is aligned with God’s and not steered in the opposite direction. I’m getting older and I feel as if I’m running out of time before I no longer have the energy to go back to school and get back into the mode of studying. I hope I’m making sense..please help if possible.

    • Jesse on June 6, 2019 at 8:31 am

      Hi Emma,

      Keep trusting God and seeking Him in prayer. If you pray, be willing to wait, God doesn’t always answer immediately. Seek the counsel of wise and godly people in your life, but listen to them against the backdrop of Scripture. The advice in this article looked sound, so you could apply it too.

      Beyond that, seek God’s will each day in the little stuff. We are most aligned with God’s will when we are most obedient to Him. Sometimes we pray about the big decisions, but we forget to pray for our neighbor, or for God’s Name to be proclaimed, or to pray with thanksgiving. This should help with the stress and worry as well. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

      Just my own practical advice, you can always serve in the church, even if it’s not your full-time occupation. You can continue to help in your free time with the curriculum, even if it doesn’t become your career. I will also say its okay to consider other factors of the job such as income, even if the factors aren’t necessarily “spiritual.” This just my practical advice though, so seriously, take it with a grain of salt. I will be praying for you! May the God of peace and wisdom be with you!


  78. May Bruell on May 27, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    As a young person I find myself getting lost very often and this really helped me find the path once again. Thank you so much for this article, I feel so lucky to have wonderful resources available to help me grow. I even took notes so that I can remind myself of these things everywhere I go! This brought light back into my day : )

  79. David Haskins on May 26, 2019 at 4:25 am

    I’m debating whether to give my testimony at church. I was a horrible person that has suffered the loss of most of my loved ones through death and ostracization. The reason for this separation with those loved ones left alive is because I had to leave my home state to find work. While gone I got addicted to hard drugs and wasted about 5 years. I am the prodigal son.
    After being born again I got baptized. But illness and other issues kept me from going to church. Either God didn’t want me there or Satan didn’t want me there because these things were outside of my ability to cope. I found another church and got through some initial struggles like those that kept me from the first church and have found some consistency in my attendance to both church and bible study.
    I am tempted to bare my testimony. After years of acting like a reprobate I had a revelation, God healed my right arm and forgave my sins, I felt His touch and heard His voice. I feel I am not ready to give this testimony because there is a risk people will hate me for it. But I am burning up for not sharing the grace that God has shown me. I swear I would go to the stake for the Lord but am afraid to risk my reputation and acceptance within the flock which I desired for so long.
    I’ve been praying about it a couple days and just had a nightmare a couple hours ago about a huge beast and its offspring chasing me and another through all these obstacles. At the end of the dream I had a chance to save my fellow but could not help him out of a culvert before the beasts overtook him. I was running away when I awoke. I don’t remember the last time I had a nightmare like that.
    I always thought I would become successful before I gave this testimony. But I am still barely getting by, hardly an example. My greatest gift is the fact that I have read through the bible a couple times. I have cleaned up my life of drugs and fornication but still smoke cigarettes. I might have to wait a little longer to give this testimony. I just want to edify my brethren in the Lord. I am willing to throw everything away for God but is my shame His glory?

    • S on May 29, 2019 at 3:55 pm

      Brother, fear is a liar…Give your testimony!
      Just the fact that you’re having nightmares and such fear of rejection, just speaks to me more….of how convinced I am, the Lord will be right there with you!
      If the people you give your testimony to aren’t happy for you and embrace you with love…Peace out! God’s got something even better for you!
      Start conquering those fears one by one brother…it’s part of the process to make you wiser and stronger!
      You’ll be amazed how brave you turned out to be after all!

      Stay with Jesus,
      S in Louisiana 🙏🏻🙌🌈

    • James Klein on May 30, 2019 at 12:56 pm

      David Haskins, I saw your story and my heart goes out to you. You have been born into God’s family and you are a member of Christ’s body, so you have a gift to offer your brothers and sisters in Christ, just as each one of them have a grace from God to give you. We are given power from the Spirit to strengthen each other with love and truth.

      Overcoming rejection feelings can be hard and scary. My advice is to share your testimony with a few friends, peers, at the church, first. Maybe you could share at a men’s bible study you go to, or a home group, after that. Make your story about God. The Bible is all about God’s goodness overcoming people’s weakness and depravity. If your story sounds like the Bible, full of imperfect people slowly learning how to folllow a perfect God, you’re on the right track. Our stories will never be perfect on this side of the resurrection, but they can still show God’s goodness, glory, and work. When you feel more comfortable sharing your own imperfect story of faith, then share it with the whole church if your leadership is willing. “It is God who works in you to will and to do according to His own pleasure.” (Philippians 2:13).

      You are made to be a blessing through God’s work in and through you.

  80. Michelle on May 5, 2019 at 2:55 pm

    This is an excellent article. God has revealed to me new desires if my heart and dreams, and old ones have been revived. I currently work in a library related field and am cross trained. I like the position I am in, but I know long term this is not my end game goal. Many have said I should go to school and become a librarian. I have never seen college as a part of my life and don’t now. Why take the time, money and effort when I strongly feel this is not the ultimate or most important path I’m to be on.

    Has anyone else dealt with this? I do feel and wonder if because I’m on the right path, Satan is trying to sway me off of it.

    Thank you.

    • star on May 5, 2019 at 5:11 pm

      ya that what I think I’m a new one on seeing Jesus and I talk to him every day and people call me crazy and they say I think I talk to Jesus and I’m just talking to my self and when I can and did and do see GOD it got my thinking so off I start to ask Jesus so much stuff to see if he not a game and yes he is here and he picked me up and I look down my nee bent I …still think Jesus is so super crazy for wanting me I stink like what this people put on me and GOD told me to do it and I did and know people all over still talking about it and it’s like haha to me because I was telling people that I have people coming in my room when I’m getting high and sleeping look at my room that’s what people did all over a toy and they kill all my Dogs and took stuff that I got for kids that don’t have a home that’s sad and just for the Oklahoma City and what ever town and City is see me I don’t shower and I don’t get food for the casa for my and Begotis home because people be fucking it up and staying under the house and I tell Jesus he tell me keep faith and pray I do I do and he is not doing nada to help and I don’t know what to do so I turn back to drugs and people still be talking shit and doing the same shit it’s before david and nate and Baca that’s soo soo long life before I got re born and GOD JESUS still don’t do nothing nada nada nada and I still stink don’t shower don’t get food for this home and I still do drugs like every day and I going to download my classes for my cdl my GED for the Mr Hall and MS hamme so I don’t go to prison and people won’t stay off my cell phoné so I can do that and Jesus is still doing nada and people be saying it’s because I lost my faith ya right if I did I be in prison for killing some people so I don’t pay no notice to them and GOD JESUS still not doing nada help….!!!

    • Diana on May 6, 2019 at 1:55 am

      Hi Michelle,

      Actually i am in the same position as you are.
      In my experience, He wants me to take ONE step of faith and trust Him that He will provide the next step. Because my problem is that I always want to make sure I am in the right path and being able to see where the end game is.
      I also never saw going back to school for THEOLOGY (weew!) as my life plan at all. But there were time that the urge was so strong….sometimes it dims. But like i said, i have to take the step of faith after asking Him in prayers.
      As for me, i take the path of going back to school. Not knowing what He wants to do with me exactly. The waiting time is excrutiating, i know.
      But i dont think i want it any other way.
      God bless!


  81. No Wonder Why Many Men Are Single Today on April 21, 2019 at 9:09 am

    God sucks altogether, let alone trust him. And he never gave me a wife and family that i really wanted. D idn’t God say that man should never be alone? So much for that. Just maybe, had he made women just like the good old days when most women at that time were Real Ladies and very old fashioned which it would have been no trouble at all. Today most women are a real total disaster. No wonder why our family members were very lucky in those days when they met one another. God, what in the world happened to the women of today?

    • Esther on April 22, 2019 at 8:48 am

      If the first thing you say is that your creator sucks then what do you think about women? Look into yourself, at what you’re doing wrong and maybe try repenting and going back to ask god and see what happens then.

      • No Wonder Why Many Men Are Single Today on May 19, 2019 at 11:32 am

        To Esther, Well when women Curse at many of us men for no reason at all which doesn’t make any sense to begin with. Very dangerous for many of us single good men now just to say good morning or hello to a woman that we would really like to meet Had it happened to me already unfortunately, and a few other friends that i know as well. And we never did anything wrong to get Cursed at either. It is very sad that most women are like this today, and they really have a lot of mental problems as i can see which they really need help very badly. Feminists i guess.

    • tanesha on April 23, 2019 at 9:45 am

      I will not judge you. Firstly. God is awesome, kind, sweet among’st other things. in his word it says; seek ye first the kingdom and all other things will be added unto you. God does not give bad gifts. God gives good gifts. remember in his word where he says; if your earthly father can give you good gifts, what more him your heavenly father. We blame the creator for creating the item then we take it without reading the instruction or even asking him if this is for me. Christ left a manuscript for us to read and you would be shocked to see the amount of instruction in it as to how to treat and choose a wife. (For Example: The bible speaks about a Virtuous woman). If the holy spirit leads and we take a wife/husband, or we ask God first before we choose, it shows that you trust and value his decision in that area of your life as well.
      Next time: wait on God, don’t just go searching and trust that he will give you the right person. He Loves you and wants the best for you. Also get to know him more by praying, reading his word and seeking him then your opinion of him will be different.

    • Deb on April 26, 2019 at 10:22 am

      Maybe some resentment inside or unforgiveness? You’re obviously hurt and upset, but heal and move beyond that which you bury deep inside and you will learn God will give good gifts with the right attitude. I know because I lived this too.

    • Ruth Williams on May 6, 2019 at 5:02 pm

      Please don’t loose faith trust the path that you are on it may not be what you want but God has a plan for you. It was never meant to be easy, just think of Jesus and the life he lived and his triumphant exit. The condition and mindset some women and me have today has nothing to do with God, remember he gave us all free will and sadly the world today is full of so many obstacles designed by the devil to trip us up and loose our Faith in God. Believe in him no matter the outcome and may God continue to bless you

    • Kelli on May 25, 2019 at 11:52 pm

      Well, for starters… your entire life WILL suck, if you can sit here and say God sucks. Why on earth would the most powerful man in this universe that suffered and died for YOU, give you anything good if you have lost all faith in Him? If you expect Him not to test you, not to see how much you can take and still have faith in Him, you’re sadly mistaken. He wants only the faithful, that believe in His greatness and love to enter His gates. Not people who lose their love and faith in Him the second something goes wrong. Continue with that attitude, and the rest of your life will be sadness and loneliness. Believe that He will give you what you NEED (not what you want) in HIS TIME, not yours, and you will see the beautiful things that can happen. Is it going to be easy… never! You HAVE to fight for what you want, but fight with God but your side.

      As far as women and the older days… I’ll be honest, I own an animal rescue organization, I am hard working and I expect respect from my husband, just as I respect him. I do take care of our children, cook, clean, a good and faithful wife, but at the same time I do want to be successful with my rescue. So, that being said, it is possible to have a good woman, and her be successful at something. But there are women out there that do just want to be a wife and mother. You just haven’t found her yet. The more inpatient you are with God, the longer it will take. There are steps you must take to lead you where He wants you to go, just have to try and listen. Good luck! I hope your life changes for the better, and you find happiness.

      • Kelli on May 25, 2019 at 11:53 pm

        Is NOT going to be easy. Sorry..

    • NLSP on May 26, 2019 at 5:02 pm

      God is great and Almighty. Moreover, he doesn’t not call all of us to be married. There is also a great deal of self-growth, maturity and understanding you must have before being able to take care and be the leader of a home. Pray, repent, forgive and be in The Word. It will reveal to you your areas of growth and fixing. If we don’t do this, we can have the partner and child but be extremely inadequate and do more harm than good. Transformation church did a great 6 part relationship series I highly suggest you watch and go through it. I learned a lot because like you I long for a partner but know there is much work to do first. Here’s the link

  82. Susan on April 11, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    I followed a path that was given to me and embraced it wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, I failed the training for the job I left everything to do. (4 years of doctorate level school.) I have to believe that I have done what God wanted me to do and it is time to move on, but it has been hard for me. Since I left school, I have been looking for a new job. At first, I tried to transfer from my in-school, very part-time job to another location in a different state. While I was waiting to hear about that one, I found another that would allow me to use what I learned in school and move my career in a totally different direction. So today, I had an open house for the new job and I am even more interested in getting that job. It is very close to what I wanted to specialize in with my doctorate degree, just approaching from a different angle and includes paid training. I honestly feel as though the Lord is leading me here. The trouble is, even if I go through the interview process, which at this point is not guaranteed, it could take another month or two before I would start. Also today, I finally heard back from the “in-house” transfer job after almost a month. That one is a done deal if I want it. The hours would be acceptable and the manager is trying to get me a little more money. I need a job as soon as possible, as my paychecks from before my move were negligible but I really want to wait for the new job. But is that the smart thing to do? I am not one to accept a job and then leave after just two months, if I were to get the new one. I have been praying but I feel as though I cannot hear any answers right now.

    • Esther on April 22, 2019 at 8:56 am

      Wait on the lord and be of good courage. He will strengthen you. What you must get will come to you if you wait. God is your provider, not your job. Depend on him. If he takes care of the birds and the bees what more will he do for you? Matthew 5 verse 25 -34. God bless you.

      • Lisa on April 22, 2019 at 5:13 pm

        Sometimes God wants us to totally trust that he is the all mighty God, and he will take care of us, and provide everything we need, if you totally trust in him. Give all you issues, confusion, and worried to him, and dont think on them again. He will work it all out for you. And also, sometimes we have to be still n listen!

  83. Stacy on April 4, 2019 at 8:50 am

    My advise is if you know your child isnt ready, then you have your answer. Our first job is family. God provides for our needs. How sad would it be for your child to be needing you and you’re not thirty. Wisdom says rear your child. If not, someone else will be glad to step in with worldly advise. A job will always be available, but we only have our kids briefly. You have your answer also, if you have to have someone else do the running around in the afternoon. When God opens the door, things flow freely. You’ll spend your extra money paying another person plus missing your time with your 12 year old. I wouldn’t do it. Just my opinion.

  84. Doree Pantaleon on March 31, 2019 at 2:27 pm

    Thank you, words of awakening!

    I am a Catholic, I had past experienced that I disobeyed one of God’s Commandments. It made me broken, and for years I lost my faith in God.

    A year ago, I started my first step to attend a two-day Retreat by joining one of their ministries in the parish. My courage took me to move forward after the initial steps by joining the formation period. The formation started by sharing how you feel about the Retreat and what made you decide to continue your journey with God.

    I came from another country, with strong accent but I am more confident when I write to express what I want to deliver about my feelings. When my turn to share my reasons, I took my notes and started reading it, and being so emotional, it also bring me tears. I was in the middle of sharing my notes when I was stopped, and the comment made was “who is next, let us wrap up the night”, someone said why not let her finish it, as we want to hear it but the comment was concluded “we don’t want you to write what you want to share”. The first thing, I had in mind was to give up and stop the move I am about to take. I felt I do not belong to the group as I am not a talker and no room to share how I witness God in my daily life.
    On my way home, the Holy Spirit came upon me. Talking to myself, I heard an answer “you are not doing this for her, you love God and He loves you. Continue your journey to take the right direction to see Him”
    At this point, this journey is about to end. We are about to finish the end of a year formation and during this one year, the steps I had started is leading me to get more closer to God… faith getting stronger and I know I am trusting God and the decision I made is not stupid!

    The message above and changes I made is another inspiration I am taking in my heart “God I am doing this because I trust you! I trust you will show me the right path to take and trusting you will show me with the outcome!”

    More Power and God Bless!

    Illinois USA

  85. Irish hopeful on March 29, 2019 at 4:12 am

    My husband and I ended 2017 off in prayer where we felt strongly led that we should immigrate and leave South
    Africa, overwhelmed with a strong sense that it was in the best interest of our child’s future and safety. We put the decision forward in prayer to God trusting wholeheartedly that He had placed the desire and promise on our hearts to go to Ireland. With only our South African passports and no impressive degrees we knew it was a tall order and could only happen by the grace of our good Lord. In record time things started to happen. A company made contact with my husband and he was flown over for an interview. All expenses paid and he had the job. He now just needed a work permit. The company spared no expense and hired solicitors too handle everything fully confident he would be approved with no hassle. The company didn’t match the salary criteria specified for the permit applied for and the solicitors never advised them against the decision, where they should have discouraged them and told them it would be refused if the salary was not on par. We did our best to advise them but in hindsight we should have just insisted on handling the permit application ourselves. We thought the “experts” would know better than us. Turns out they didn’t and after an extremely lengthy process we were refused. The company has now put the position on hold until further notice. We now wait on God to show us the next step. In preparation for this big move we have sold off all our bulky furniture and were vocal in singing God’s praises for providing. Every other challenging step of this entire process has gone smoothly where other people struggle. From arranging documentation to opening a foreign bank account we felt God’s favour at every step. We praised Him openly and gave all the glory to Him. We were vocal sharing our good news when my instinct is normally to keep things like this private until receiving confirmation. We were so in awe of His favor we couldn’t help ourselves the excitement was too much. Then out of nowhere the refusal. Nearly a full year of waiting from the initial submission of my husband’s cv and the permit was refused. We are gutted. To say we feel foolish is an understatement. The worst part is that during the process my husband actually lost his job. But in faith we persevered trusting that this job in Ireland was the job he was meant to have. A further month of waiting since the refusal for the company to advise the next step and they’ve put the position on hold. Now my husband is scrambling to get a job. We are still trusting in God to lead us but it’s difficult not to feel like we should have been wiser.

    • Esther on April 22, 2019 at 9:04 am

      Increase your faith. Never doubt his providence. Doubt blocks your blessings. Matthew 5 vs 25-34
      The enemy will try to make you feel that god is not working but rebuke him in the name of Jesus and claim gods promises on you and your family’s lives. God bless you.

  86. Irish hopeful on March 29, 2019 at 3:43 am

    My husband and I ended 2017 off in prayer where we felt strongly led that we should immigrate and leave South
    Africa, overwhelmed with a strong sense that it was in the best interest of our child’s future and safety. We put the decision forward in prayer to God trusting wholeheartedly that He had placed the desire and promise on our hearts to go to Ireland. With only our South African passports and no impressive degrees we knew it was a tall order and could only happen by the grace of our good Lord. In record time things started to happen. A company made contact with my husband and he was flown over for an interview. All expenses paid and he had the job. He now just needed a work permit. The company spared no expense and hired solicitors too handle everything fully confident he would be approved with no hassle. The company didn’t match the salary criteria specified for the permit applied for and the solicitors never advised them against the decision, where they should have discouraged them and told them it would be refused if the salary was not on par. We did our best to advise them but in hindsight we should have just insisted on handling the permit application ourselves. We thought the “experts” would know better than us. Turns out they didn’t and after an extremely lengthy process we were refused. The company has now put the position on hold until further notice. We now wait on God to show us the next step. In preparation for this big move we have sold off all our bulky furniture and were vocal in singing God’s praises for providing. Every other challenging step of this entire process has gone smoothly where other people struggle. From arranging documentation to opening a foreign bank account we felt God’s favour at every step. We praised Him openly and gave all the glory to Him. We were so vocal in sharing our good news when my instinct is normally to keep things like this private until receiving confirmation. We were so in awe of His favor we couldn’t help ourselves, the excitement was too much. Then out of nowhere the refusal. Nearly a full year of waiting from the initial submission of my husband’s cv and the permit was refused. We are gutted. To say we feel foolish is an understatement. The worst part is that during the process much husband actually lost his job. But in faith we persevered trusting that this job in Ireland was the job he was meant to have. Then a month of further waiting since the refusal for the company to decide its next step, only for them to place the position on hold. Now my husband is scrambling to get a job. We are still trusting in God to lead us but it’s difficult not to feel like we should have been wiser.

  87. my singing monsters on March 27, 2019 at 2:41 pm

    Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Thank you Nevertheless I’m experiencing problem with ur rss . Do not know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there everyone obtaining identical rss issue? Everyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx

  88. Cynthia Shontan on March 19, 2019 at 4:13 am

    Hi, I hope you see this and respond to it, personally I have been trusting God for children for over three years, anytime I said I trusted God, dear, anxietu and doubts came in, I went to the hospital to do an IUI procedure but it didn’t work, so I decided to trust God and his promises wholeheartedly. The month of March has been so different, I am not anxious or doubtful like I used to, rather am thankful and I have faith that God has done it, but the tricky thing is my dad decided to get herbs to help with conceiving, I feel as though I am doing something wrong by having another option. My mind is playing tricks with me, I think I have answered myself, the moment I laid it at the feet of Christ, it is finished and settled. Now I am to wait for the physical manifestation, thank you lord it is well with me.

  89. Francis on March 18, 2019 at 11:49 am

    I am apostle Francis i opened achurch this January it’s not the first time,but third to open a church.iam in Nairobi Kenya.
    It’s the third month,but no members just me and my wife,iam full time,thou not by choice.
    God has faithfuly provided for us in paying bills,every day needs.
    I know my wife feels it’s not wise to just pray and wait,if nothing is happening we try somewhere else or something else.
    I understand her worry,thou we have not lacked,we don’t have the money in our hands.
    So it’s exactly what you are talking about,that it’s comfortable to have than to trust.some time you feel like a fool, What iam I doing hear is the question i ask sometimes,coz ifeel the need to HAVE to be secure. sometimes TRUSTING really feels foolish.
    But the few that come for prayers,thou not members their testimonies are truly encouraging.
    I once waited for nearly 1 year with two members,going thru it again is really scary.the questions,????????are many.

  90. Shaunte on February 20, 2019 at 6:11 am

    I am a teacher who has been wanting to work as an assistant principal. I am qualified and have been turned down for some chances. My former principal called me a couple of weeks ago because he wanted me to apply for the position at his new school. I didn’t go looking for this chance- it came to me. He called me last night to say of all the interviewees, I got the job. The catch? The job ends in June and I’d have to reapp