How To Lead People Who Complain 'It'll Never Be the Same Again'

Every time you lead change, someone inevitably complains “It will never be the same again.”

In fact, some of you are wincing at the mere mention of that phrase.

It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

Almost every leader at some point faces a group of people who long for the past.

It’s a near epidemic in churches, and it’s a part of every organization’s reality.

Even in a work place, there was the ‘good old days’ when X was boss (and you weren’t), when profit margins were higher, when customers used to line up out the door, when people communicated by voice mail (okay, I don’t know anyone who’s nostalgic for that…). 

The problem with the argument that it will never be the same again, is that it can’t ever be the same again.

Time has moved on. As nifty as that vintage 70’s TV might be, do you really want to watch the Superbowl on it?

There are unique moments and seasons that come, and go, in life and organizational life.

Your wedding day, as great as it might have been, really only lasts a day.

Your kids are only little for a few, short years.

Market conditions change continually.

Culture moves on with alarming disregard for how you set up your organization last year or last decade.

Churches do not fill up automatically almost anywhere anymore.

Change is inevitable, and you can’t go back.

The changes a leader brings about in an organization ensures that when life moves on, it doesn’t move past you and the people you lead.

So how you do address opponents and dissenters who argue that the changes you’re making have ensured “it will never be the same again”?

Here are five things that have helped me lead change:

1.  Empathize. If you start with empathy, you release a potential for good that otherwise vaporizes. Don’t confront. Try to understand. Don’t be patronizing, but say something like “I can understand this will be difficult for you. If I was you, I’d be upset too. I get that, and I’m sorry this has been so hard on you.”  That will put anyone other than a serial ranter at ease. Even if it doesn’t work out in the end, at least you led with kindness.

2. Be clear that it can’t ever be the same again. Just because you lead with kindness doesn’t mean you need to dispose of truth. Jesus always spoke and led with truth and grace, and so far as it’s possible, that’s our job. Make it clear that, as we said earlier, it can’t ever be the same again. Even if we left everything the same it wouldn’t be the same. It just can’t be. Then point people back to the mission and vision. The mission is the same, but the application is going to morph with every generation.

3. Cast a compelling vision for the future. This is where most leaders instinctively start. It works well when your audience is made of up innovators, early adopters and even ‘average’ folks, but not so well with opponents. Starting with a compelling future when you’re speaking with opponents is like rubbing salt in a wound. When you empathize first, and then explain why it can’t be the way it was, it opens people to a better future, or at least to the non-option of the past. Then cast vision. When you do, be compelling and focus on common interests (think about your kids and grandkids) and the why behind the what. People will eventually accept the what if they understand why.

4. Be patient. Don’t slow down change until everyone is ‘on board’. If you do, you will change nothing. But be patient with opponents when you start change, at least for a while. They’ll be upset, but as the changes take effect, some will change their mind. Don’t make it impossible for them to admit they were wrong. Some will adapt. For the rest, see below.

5. Give people options. Not everyone will come on board. That’s normal. Give them options. Here are two great ones:

i. They can stop creating discontent; or

ii. They can move on to another community or organization that better fits their vision for how things should be.

Don’t let ongoing dissent be an option in your organization. Your initial patience with dissenters needs to give way to firm, healthy boundaries about what the common mission, vision, values and culture are about. Everyone else will thank you for not letting the dissenters get a permanent toehold on the future. And ironically, the dissenters might thank you one day too. They might actually find an organization that fits them.