CNLP 005: When Leadership Ruins Your Family: How to Live and Lead Differently—An Interview with Craig Jutila

Sometimes leadership makes you hard to live with.

Ever felt that in your family?

Craig Jutila, a key ministry leader at one of America’s largest churches, went home one day to find his wife had written “I hate my husband” in her journal.

Craig talks honestly and openly about how he had to learn how to lead and live differently, saving his marriage and his future as a leader.

Welcome to Episode 5 of the podcast.

Guest Links: Craig Jutila

Find and follow Craig Jutila here:

Craig on Twitter

Craig on Facebook

Empowered Living (Craig’s blog)

Links Mentioned in This Episode

The links and resources mentioned in this episode include:

From Hectic to Healthy: The Journey to a Balanced Life by Craig Jutila and Mary Jutila

Faith and the Modern Family: How to Raise a Healthy Family in a “Modern Family” World by Craig Jutila

7 Painful Truths About Burnout and Leadership

9 Signs You’re Burning Out In Leadership

How I Recovered From Burnout: 12 Keys to Getting Back

Carey & Toni Nieuwhof’s story of their marriage. (Updated 2018): The Struggle Is Real, Part 1: Love, Actually

3 Things You Can Do Right Away

Craig’s interview was full of great advice.

While there’s so much you could do after listening to Craig’s story, here are 3 things you can begin this week:

1. Start writing regularly in a journal. Honestly express yourself. As leaders, we’re often left in lonely, isolating situations because we can’t communicate freely with our team or our friends, especially when they attend our church. Get a journal and write. Give yourself a safe, personal outlet to work through your ideas, thoughts, and feelings.

2. Find a counselor. As Craig mentions in the interview, a counselor doesn’t have always be a professional, but you need to be share the depths of your heart and struggles with someone. Most often, it will be your spouse or a close friend, but there are times when a situation requires expert support. Regardless, find someone you trust and share your experiences openly. It’s another great way to avoid the isolation that often plagues leaders.

3. Read a book with tips and tools for your situation. If you’re a leader whose family is suffering because you’re struggling to create boundaries at church, get Craig Jutila’s book From Hectic to Healthy, Overwhelmed by Perry Noble or Boundaries for Leaders by Dr. Henry Cloud.  Whatever your situation, there’s a resource that can help you start the journey to restoration. Take a small step today, find expert support in a book, and set time aside to implement 2-3 practices you learn.

Quotes to Share from Craig

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I’m going to be in Indianapolis on Thursday October 16 and Friday October 17th for the 2014 Orange Tour. Then, I’ll be visiting Texas for the Orange Tour stops in Austin (November 3-4) and Dallas (November 6-7).

I’ll be giving some keynotes and doing some breakouts on parenting, leadership and the church, and hosting a lunch for senior leaders. I’d love to hang out. Sign up below!

2014 Orange Tour

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Next Episode: Tony Morgan

Ever wonder if your team—or how you lead your team—is keeping your church from growing? It very well might be the case.

In next week’s episode, Tony Morgan reveals how your volunteer and staff team can keep your church from growing, or how a great team can help it grow.

With a ton of practical tips for leaders of small, mid-sized and very large churches, don’t miss Episode 006 next week with Tony Morgan. It goes live Tuesday, October 21st 2014.

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  1. Chris Shumate on October 17, 2014 at 8:52 am

    There was too much in this podcast that hit home for me. For some reason I felt the Holy Spirit prompt me to not take notes like I had before. I think I needed to listen first, then listen again taking notes to second time. I so appreciate the transparency.

  2. Kelli Espiritu on October 16, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    I was enamored by Craig’s ministry at Saddleback about 15 years ago. I was expectantly offended however, when I took one of his workshops at CPC (Children’s Pastors Conference) in San Diego Ca. in the early 2000’s. His charisma was contagious then he arrogantly said these words as he was sharing, “this one’s for free” as if he’s giving us information that he should charge us for. I thought, “Oh heck to the no! My church just dropped some heavy money sending me to CPC and seven volunteers at $400 a pop.” I am a witness to his self admitted arrogance. THEN…KidMin conference in Chicago 2011. He and Mary shared their story and I saw a new man in Craig. I was led to even share my CPC experience with him to let him know how evident the change in his life is. I applaud their teamwork to share and empower other leaders who are suffering in silence. Every leader needs to subscribe to this blog and read Craig and Mary’s story.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on October 17, 2014 at 8:47 am

      So glad this story has a happy ending for all involved. You know Kelli, as a public speaker I always worry a bit about how what I say might help or hurt leaders.

  3. Chuck on October 14, 2014 at 9:42 am

    Open. Honest. Real. FANTASTIC! That is all.

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