When John Eldredge’s Wild at Heart came out 20 years ago, it struck a chord that continues to reverberate decades later about the message men and women most need to hear.
John talks about his own unsustainable pace, what the internet is doing to our souls, and how to live your life at a pace your soul can sustain.
Welcome to Episode 355 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.
Plus, in this episode’s What I’m Thinking About segment, Carey talks about some things he’s sensing leaders are thinking about this summer.
The Unstuck Group
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If you want to get a taste, The Unstuck Group is hosting an exclusive 1-Day Masterclass on July 30th on key shifts churches need to make because of the Coronavirus. It’s $99, and you’ll walk away with action steps and clarity around what needs to change to thrive in the post-pandemic world. My listeners get free access to Lesson One from the Masterclass Guidebook.
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Check out ServeHQ at servehq.church and get a free, no-obligation 14-day trial account
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3 INSIGHTS FROM JOHN
1. There’s a masculinity crisis in the world today, and a lack of fathers
John’s classic New York Times bestselling book Wild At Heart struck a massive chord when it was released and has continued to sell hundreds of thousands of copies to this day. Why are so many people interested in the book? John says that it’s a response to the fatherlessness in our world.
To point out how big the need is, John said that, statistically, half of Carey’s listening audience grew up in broken homes where there wasn’t a supportive father. This has left a huge void in the soul of each and every kid that grows up in one of those homes. If you want to make a difference in the world, combating fatherlessness would be a great start.
2. The expectations you set on yourself ultimately get passed on to your team
Like most of you reading this, John is a high capacity leader. And for many years, he ran at a pace that he expected from himself, but would never ask of his team. He thought those high expectations of himself only affected him. He’s since learned that isn’t true.
He’s learned that the expectations you set on yourself as a leader ultimately get passed on to your team. When you’re sending emails at 8:00 a.m., 5:00 a.m., and all hours of the weekend, you are communicating an expectation for your team to do the same. When John realized he was doing this, he began to work through a complete culture-shift as a company so that he wasn’t leading his team into burnout.
3. The human soul is village-sized
There is a lot of evidence showing that the human soul is village-sized. We were only designed to live with, care about, and share the pain of a small group of people. And that’s how humans have functioned for thousands of years. But now that we have global 24-hour news and social media, there seems to always be a new major catastrophe to care about. While it’s great to care about those tragedies, our souls can only take so much.
As a result of this “compassion fatigue” we get from the news, we are much more likely to struggle with anxiety and depression. Our souls are being overloaded with trauma and never getting time to heal. John encourages us to pause and put up boundaries between ourselves and the tragedies of the outside world. If we don’t, we’ll begin to neglect ourselves and our village around us.
Quotes from Episode 355
You were never meant to be subject to an insane pace of life with no downtime, to being over connected in technology, and to being subject to the heartache of the entire world. @johneldredge Click To Tweet
Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?
Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.
DIDN’T SEE IT COMING WILL HELP YOU SOLVE THE PROBLEMS MOST LEADERS MISS
If you want practical help overcoming some of the biggest challenges leaders face, my book Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the 7 Greatest Challenges That Nobody Expects and Everyone Experiences tackles the seven core issues that take people out: cynicism, compromise, disconnectedness, irrelevance, pride, burnout, and the emptiness of success and provides strategies on how to combat each.
I wrote the book because no 18-year-old sets out to be cynical, jaded and disconnected by age 35. Yet it happens all the time.
The good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way.
Here’s what top leaders are saying about Didn’t See It Coming:
“Seriously, this may be the most important book you read this year.” Jud Wilhite, Lead Pastor, Central Church
“Powerful, personal, and highly readable. ” Brian Houston, Global Senior Pastor, Hillsong
“Whatever challenge you’re facing, whatever obstacle you’re hoping to overcome, whatever future you dream or imagine, there is something powerful for you here.” Andy Stanley, Founder, North Point Ministries
“Uncommonly perceptive and generous…You have to read this book.” Ann Voskamp, NYT bestselling author
“Masterful.” Reggie Joiner, CEO Orange
“Deep biblical insight, straightforward truth, and practical wisdom to help you grow.” Craig Groeschel, Pastor and NYT bestselling author
“This book is sure to help you.” Daniel H. Pink, NYT bestselling author
Over the years, one of the things I’ve enjoyed most about being a public speaker is having opportunities to hang out with Carey…It’s not a matter of if you’ll run into these challenges; it’s a matter of when. Be prepared by spending a little time with a leader who has already been there.” Jon Acuff, NYT best-selling author
“Nieuwhof’s book provides expert guidance…with an accuracy that pierces the heart.” Nancy Duarte, CEO Duarte Inc.
“A refreshingly transparent guide for all leaders in a wide variety of industries.” Bryan Miles, Co-Founder and CEO, BELAY
Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.
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Next Episode: Dharius Daniels
Dharius Daniels is one of the best communicators in America today. In this interview, we talk about the key to excellent communication, learning leadership the hard way, and how to lead and live with greater relational intelligence.
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