Skip to content

CNLP 320: Toni Nieuwhof and Dr. Rob Meeder: A Pediatrician and Lawyer Talk About the Reasons for the Rise in Childhood Anxiety, Beating Tech Addiction in Kids and Best Practices for a Thriving Marriage in a Busy Home

Pediatrician Rob Meeder and Toni Nieuwhof—a pharmacist, lawyer and host Carey Nieuwhof’s wife,—join Carey to talk about the reasons behind the recent rise in childhood anxiety, how tech addiction is impacting children and parents and some best practices for keeping your busy family healthy.

Toni and Rob are also hosts of a brand new podcast, The Smart Family Podcast where they interview world-class experts about issues facing parents, children and families.

Welcome to Episode 320 of the podcastListen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Guest Links

InstagramSmart Family Podcast

Episode Links

ReThink Leadership

If you’re a senior leader at your church, join us for ReThink Leadership, April 29-May 1 in Atlanta, Georgia. We have an incredible lineup including Simon Sinek, Mark Batterson, Jon Acuff, Chris Hodges, and so many others. I’ll be hosting it along with Jon Acuff.

It’s in a unique gathering around tables with other leaders. We’ll be talking about some of the biggest challenges leaders are facing. You don’t want to miss it.

Register by February 29th and get 20% off with coupon code RL20Carey at
ReThinkLeadership.com.

Planning Center

Are you in need of a great tool to manage the team at your church? I’ve used Planning Center for years, and it has become the industry standard. Planning Center makes it really easy to follow up with volunteers, send thank you emails, track who has RSVP’ed for an event or practice. The Planning Center app allows your volunteers to set up block out dates when they’re out of town, or they just need a break. And that can really help you avoid burnout with your volunteers and staff.

Your staff can use Planning Center’s powerful workflow and list tools for following up with new visitors, volunteers, or even prayer requests that come your way. And their support team is here to help. They have a super fast response time.

Learn more about their incredible features at
Planning.Center.

CONVERSATION LINKS

Smart Family Podcast

The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

No-Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

3 Insights from Toni and Rob

1. Kids are heavily affected by conflict between parents

Whether it was in Toni’s practice in divorce law, or in Rob’s pediatrics office, it was pretty easy to tell if a couple was having conflict over/about their kids. Rob could tell by how the child responded in the presence of each child, and Toni could tell by how the parents argued.

In those moments of conflict, the child will say whatever he/she thinks the parent wants to hear. These children are stressed out, anxious, and often find other ways to cope. When going through a divorce, it is almost impossible for parents to shield their kids from the animosity caused by the separation.

2. We can’t “rip off the band-aid” with technology

If you ask parents what the biggest point of tension they have with their kids in 2020 is, they will almost universally answer “screen time.” This doesn’t surprise Rob at all, as it is one of the primary issues that parents bring up in his office. He even has some patients who are unable to pull themselves away from the screen long enough for a doctor’s appointment.

So how do we, as adults, help kids understand the dangers that come with technology? And what boundaries should we put in place? Rob is hesitant to give a hard and fast recommendation, but he is willing to say that kids under age 5 should be limited to less than 30 minutes of screen time a day. As for older kids, you will need to try to limit the amount of time spent of them for entertainment purposes. You will have to allow them to do their homework on their devices outside of entertainment time.

3. You need to invest in your marriage before you invest in your kids

One fact that ends up surprising many couples is that you will have more time alone with your spouse than you will with your kids. If you want your marriage to survive, you need to invest serious time, money, and energy into loving your spouse in a healthy way.

One way that Rob and Rose do this is by getting away together without the kids 3-4 times a year. This helps them work on their marriage, and has allowed them to keep up common interests. Carey and Toni tried to do the same thing once a year, but wish they could have done it more.

Quotes from Episode 320

Anxiety is now more common than it was during the depression and world wars. - Dr. Rob Meeder Click To Tweet

'A young child will often tell each parent what they think that parent wants to hear, even if it's completely contradictory. - Toni Nieuwhof Click To Tweet

There was a sharp uptick in anxiety and depression when the iPhone was introduced. - Dr. Rob Meeder Click To Tweet

Toddlers and babies don't need screens at all. - Dr. Rob Meeder Click To Tweet

Over the last four or five years, I would say that mental health issues, especially in that school age and teenage years, seem to be increasing. - Dr. Rob Meeder Click To Tweet

Our phones stay outside the bedroom when they're being charged. - Dr. Rob Meeder Click To Tweet

You've got to emotionally connect before you can redirect. - Dr. Rob Meeder Click To Tweet

You are you inside your marriage, and you are you when you leave the marriage. So you can't leave you. - Toni Nieuwhof Click To Tweet

Sleep, diet, and exercise—those are what I call the three no brainers of mental health. - Dr. Rob Meeder Click To Tweet

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 320

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.

Watch Back Episodes of The Podcast on YouTube

Select episodes of this podcast are now on YouTube. Our new YouTube Channel gives you a chance to watch some episodes, not just listen. We’ll add select episodes to YouTube as time goes on.

Motivate Your Team. Deepen Engagement. Attract and Keep the Best Leaders.

Wish your team was more engaged at work? 

Most leaders do.  

According to Gallup, 70% of employees are disengaged at work, and the most talented employees are heading off to do their own thing.

How do you attract, motivate and keep high capacity team members in a changing world? 

My new online, on-demand course, The High Impact Workplace: How to Attract and Keep High Capacity Leaders In A Changing World will give you the edge you need to win the talent war for the best leaders. 

Smart employers know how to respond to growing requests for more flexible work: flexible hours, the ability to work from home or a coffee shop, and more freedom and autonomy. 

In the course, I give you the exact strategies you need to:

  • Attract and keep high capacity leaders who would otherwise start their own businesses.
  • Identify and leverage the currency that motivates young leaders.
  • Navigate flexible work arrangements that result in deeper productivity.
  • Master the 5 questions every great manager asks their team for deeper engagement.
  • Create workplace environments that multiple generations can thrive in.
  • Learn how to keep your company or organization relevant to the most talented leaders.

Here’s what employers are saying about The High Impact Workplace: 

“Each time a unit ends, I look over my notes and think “that was exactly what I needed, the rest of the class is just a bonus.” BUT I repeat that EACH UNIT!”

“The course got me to talk with my team about things I wouldn’t have considered talking about.”

“This is exactly what I needed.”

Learn why the future workplace is the flexible workplace, and how to keep your company relevant to the next generation of leaders.

To enroll now or learn more about The High Impact Workplace, click here.

Subscribed Yet? 

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.

Subscribe using your favorite podcast app via

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google Play

Stitcher

TuneIn

Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Chris Hodges and Brad Lomenick

Chris Hodges was an unlikely church planter. After burning out at age 38, Chris found a renewed call and planted Church of the Highlands, which has become one of the largest and fastest growing churches in America. Chris and Brad Lomenick talk about mentoring the next generation of leaders, what’s changing, and how systems and creativity can work together rather than compete with one another. Both Chris and Brad will be featured speakers at this year’s ReThink Leadership Conference in Atlanta, April 29th-May1st, 2020.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 321.

1 Comment

  1. Steve Lanning on February 11, 2020 at 7:37 am

    Such an encouraging topic and conversation, Carey!
    Maybe Dr. Dobson has passed his mantle!
    It does confirm all of my ‘attitudes’ for marriage, parenting and raising kids I’ve had since my wife and were married in 1975 (and raising three now-adult-and-married children) My unwise choice was starting a business the same year we were married (yes we’re happily celebrating 45). I’ve been advising against combining the two ever since!

    Carey, as a stark-raving fan of yours (and a follower of Jesus since a college senior in 1970), I’ve just been amazed how our Lord has used you in the lives of leaders of both ministries and business. We need you. Just loved SO many of your podcasts–Pastor Vetters–pastoring pastors and focusing on small churches and your many books you’ve recommended (I think I’ve purchased them all). Books like the excellent “Master of One” by Jordan Raynor–a passion for business AND Jesus–man, I love that attitude.

    As I am reading through ‘Master’ I’m making a list of all my fellow brothers and sisters in the business world that I’ve got to send a copy to…and then I hit page 92 in the ‘Explore’ section–and my list of people I send the books was suddenly cut by 50%–at least. Why?

    I can just hear them–via the phone or in telling me person something akin to–” You are right, Steve, this is indeed a fantastic book for believers in business. But when the author gave an example of a beer brewing company resulting from a Bible study, I couldn’t believe it! Wow. You can’t make this stuff up! Look, I just couldn’t take this book knowing the number of lives lost to drunk drivers. Here’s your book back!”

    For goodness sake, others will tell you that I am certainly not a prude of a Christian in any way, but have you not had other fans of yours comment on Jordan’s book in this way? I used to belong to the Baltimore, Washington, DC Venture Capital Club and to think that THIS was the FEATURE example that matched the author’s illustration of using one’s ‘passions and gifts’ is mind-boggling! Could not Jordan think through this to come to the conclusion as an ‘although all things are lawful, all things are not expedient’ theology?

    Thanks, Carey. I hope your blog response editors will at least allow this message to get to you if their desire is to delete it from the ‘public’ sight. I am just curious about what others thought. Maybe I’m out here on an island–I know I am culturally–I’m just wondering if any other hard-chargers-in-business believers agree with me.

    Still a fan, still waving your pennant up here in the stands and still cheering you on!

    -Steve Lanning

Leave a Comment





This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Copy link