CNLP 260: Ruth Haley Barton on How Busyness Ruins The Soul of Driven Leaders And How to Make Time for Rest

It’s so easy to run non-stop as a leader in the church and business world, and it’s killing us. Ruth Haley Barton is an incredibly driven leader, but she found herself pushing burnout at 30 as a young mom with a rising platform in ministry. In an effort to recover her soul and her life, she embraced Sabbath, rest and retreat.

Ruth talks about how to begin taking a Sabbath (even if you think you don’t have the time) and offers beginner tips and some profound insights on connecting with your soul so you can thrive in the long run.

Welcome to Episode 260 of the podcastListen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Guest Links

Ruth Haley Barton | Facebook | InstagramTwitter | Ruth’s Books

Transforming Center

How Is It with Your Soul: Leadership Assessment

Episode Links

Get your life and leadership back with the High Impact Leader. It’s an online course you can do on demand to beat burnout and get things done without giving up the things you love most. Check it out at thehighimpactleader.com.

If you’re struggling with staffing, BELAY can help. Check out belaysolutions.com/Carey to see how hiring a virtual staff can get you where you want to be.

CNLP 152: Eugene Peterson on Why He Wrote The Message, the Rhythms of a Reflective Life + Mark Batterson an dAdam Weber on Perterson’s Legacy

CNLP 204: Jon Tyson on Reaching Cynics in NYC and What to Do When the Burden of Leadership Feels too Heavy

I Used to be a Human Being by Andrew Sullivan

3 Insights from Ruth

1. The more connected we are, the more disconnected we become

Technology is dangerous because it’s keeping us stimulated. There’s no time to quiet down and hear the still small voice of God.

In our modern society, the norm is to move fast enough where we cannot hear our soul. The soul doesn’t compete. It is not going to shout and yell about all the other distractions we allow into our lives. We need to make space to hear what we really need.

Technology is keeping us distracted with the outer world rather than being in touch with our inner world – where our soul has something to say to God and where God is wanting to say something true to our souls.

2. If you don’t take the Sabbath, the Sabbath will take you

Sabbath is an extremely difficult, but important spiritual discipline to keep in your weekly rhythm. Both secular culture and church culture will often try to keep you moving and busy all day on Sunday, but keeping a Sabbath is one of the best ways to be countercultural as a Christian.

While practicing the Sabbath, rest, worship, and delight are the three primary areas to focus your attention. This model is how God chose to Sabbath, so we are actually taking a chance to be more like God when we practice Sabbath in this way. When we don’t practice this discipline, we put ourselves on a road that leads to burnout and exhaustion.

3. As parents, we cannot let our children’s activities overtake our own health

It is extremely common in our North American culture to allow kid activities to dictate our lives. Ruth argues that we need to protect our Sabbath day even if our kids have commitments. Her daughter did this in her teenage years and this actually led her daughter to realize just how critical a Sabbath day was.

The competitive nature and mindset that parents take on nowadays is a sign that we need to check ourselves and our priorities as a parenting culture. The minute parents are getting in fights in the parking lot of their children’s game is the minute they should wave a flag and start asking some deeper questions about what is really going on. The minuscule chance of a kid going pro is not worth the time, effort, or energy some of the most deeply committed parents put into these activities.

Quotes from Episode 260

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 260

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.

Get Your Life Back

Do you want to unlock more of your potential in life and leadership without sacrificing time with your family and your health?

Sounds crazy, but it’s not. I know because I’ve lived it. A few years back, I seriously crashed and burned because the demands on my time and life were bigger than the time I had to accomplish them. I promised myself that wouldn’t happen again.

Today, I still have bigger goals than ever before, but I’ve made fundamental changes that have led to a healthier, happier lifestyle without sacrificing my family and vastly increasing my productivity at work. I’ve taken what I’ve learned during this journey and put it into the High Impact Leadercourse.

You can complete the three-hour course at your own pace. It’s the most comprehensive content I’ve ever created for leaders to help you reclaim HOURS every day so you can become more effective at work and more present at home. When your time, energy, and priorities are all working together for you, it’ll impact everything you do.

  • You become a better leader, because you’re doing what you do best when you’re at your best
  • You become a better spouse, because you’re focused at home
  • You become a better parent, neighbor, and friend, because you actually have time off to relax and engage

These principles will free you to thrive in every area of your life.

You can learn more and gain instant access today.

Subscribed Yet? 

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.

Subscribe using your favorite podcast app via

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google Play

Stitcher

TuneIn

Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Michael Hyatt 

Michael Hyatt is one of the top influencers in the leadership space today. His books consistently reach the New York Times best sellers list and his company helps millions of leaders a year become better. In this interview, Michael explains how to focus with far greater effectiveness in a world filled with distraction, how to work less and accomplish more, and shares dozens of practical productivity tips. Plus, he talks about succession and where he’s heading next in life.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 261.

1 Comment

  1. Brian McMichan on April 25, 2019 at 5:20 am

    Father, You expressed Your love to me by giving me this poem.

    Thank You Father for loving me and accepting me unconditionally.
    You cared enough to give Your Son, and You give this love to me.

    You do not ask that I strive and toil or seek a victory,
    You simply accept me as I am, and You give Your love to me.

    All You ask is that I love You, and trust with all my heart,
    because You sent Your Spirit, to shield me and direct my path.

    Thank You Father for always being there, to hear my praise or plea,
    to listen to my every word. Thank You for loving me.

    Thank You Father for loving me, I know on You I can rely,
    so I let your love envelop me, knowing You value me so high.

    And with Your love inside of me, to others I can pass on,
    that they too can know Your love, because You sent Your Son.

    Thank You Father for loving me, and accepting me unconditionally.
    You cared enough to give Your Son, and You give this love to me.

    Inspired by my Father, a poem/prayer back to Him. Brian McMichan 1996

    After being directed to read all 5 books in 1 John, every day for about 3 weeks, I awoke one morning to hear the start of the above poem. I quickly wrote down the words on a pad next to my bed …I could hardly keep up with what I was being directed to write.

    It is the only poem I have ever written. …… I highly recommend frequent, prayerful reading of 1 John. I use Amplified Bible.

    John (the only Apostle to live to an old age), wrote his epistles shortly before Lord Jesus gave him Revelations, so he was truly and specially used by Lord Jesus and Father.
    Father, You are love and You live in me with Lord Jesus (John 14:23 Jesus answered, If a person [really] loves Me, he will keep My word [obey My teaching]; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home (abode, special dwelling place) with him., 1 John 4;12-13 No man has at any time [yet] seen God. But if we love one another, God abides (lives and remains) in us and His love (that love which is essentially His) is brought to completion (to its full maturity, runs its full course, is perfected) in us! By this we come to know (perceive, recognize, and understand) that we abide (live and remain) in Him and He in us: because He has given (imparted) to us of His [Holy] Spirit.)). Your Spirit, Your armour, is covering me, ever ready to meet my every need.
    Part of Your plan is equipping me for Your service. My earth-suit is a vessel as Jesus was on earth, doing Your will … (Zech 4:6 not by might, nor by power but by Your Spirit ) doing it all through me. Continue to guide and direct me Father, so that Your will is done … guide me to people and people to me and instruct me what to do and say….. Thank You Father.

    1 John 4:17 In this [union and communion with Him] love is brought to completion {and} attains perfection with us, that we may have confidence for the day of judgment [with assurance and boldness to face Him], because as He is, so are we in this world.… One of the many branches grafted into Him, the True Vine, moment by moment receiving all that He is and has, including the seeds of the fruit … cleansing, purifying, strengthening, equipping me, so that I can bear much fruit for Father’s glory and use (John 15). (Gal 5:22-23)
    Joined to You, I am as You are – part of the Body of Christ, anointed with the Holy Spirit. Apart from You, I can do nothing!
    He is love. He is in constant union with me … what the world needs now is love!
    Close fellowship with Father. Listen to His Word through the Bible. Love and appreciate all that the Lord Jesus achieved plus that They have made Their abode in me (John 14:23), that I am with Them and the Holy Spirit is all around me… the armour of God, the shield of faith and the sword that the Spirit wields …. Rest in His peace! … He wants to take our load (Matt 11:29). I am a child of God, a son of God – led by the Spirit … as He is, so am I in this world. As You did for Jesus, You do for me … to mind me, watch over me, direct me in what is to be said and done. Rom 8:13 For if you live according to [the dictates of] the flesh, you will surely die. But if through the power of the [Holy] Spirit you are [habitually] putting to death (making extinct, deadening) the [evil] deeds prompted by the body, you shall [really and genuinely] live forever.
    Rom 8:14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. Gal 2:20 …it is no longer I who live, but Christ Jesus Who lives in me! All earthly spirits died with Christ Jesus on the cross but made alive and free through Christ Jesus being raised from the dead (Heb 2:9) … they can all realise that they have been freed when they turn to the Light … they are new creations.
    2 Cor 5:17 Therefore if any person is [in-grafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh {and} new has come!

    Christ Jesus’ closing words on the cross were “It is finished!” (John 19:30)… He had achieved what He was sent to earth for … to free mankind! (Luke 4:18-19). As Paul said, (Gal 2:20) “I (my spirit) have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ Jesus Who lives in me” … you, or anyone, can say that … whosoever believes!

    The world needs to know that God loved them all so much that He gave His only begotten Son to free mankind … receive His payment and you are free! John 3:16 For God so greatly loved and deeply prized the world, that He even gave His only begotten Son, so that whosoever believes in Him (clings to, abides in)shall not perish, but have eternal life.

    This is the victory for us Through Christ Jesus being imparted to us on the cross and you believing that. .. 1 John 5:4 For whatever is born of God is victorious over the world; and this is the victory that conquers the world (and all evil influences in the world.)(, even our faith.
    1 John 5:5 Who is it that is victorious over [that conquers] the world but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God [who adheres to, trusts in, and relies on that fact]? …..Lord, what do You want me to do? Your love overcomes all things. Your Light is in me and all people who believe.

    Father, You loved every spirit that would ever go into any person, so much, that You gave Your Son, Christ Jesus to suffer at the hands of evil controlled men and woman and to die – as His life on earth was sinless – His death was the sacrifice and full payment of all human sin – it enabled all humans to be free of sin and be eligible to spend eternity with You and Christ Jesus our Lord and all people who fully accept His sacrifice and give thanks (thus to become Your children for eternity.)
    All that people have to do is to turn to the Light – Lord Jesus Himself, so they can realise what He achieved and to believe and to be thankful as Your Holy Spirit covers, protects, guides and supplies all needs to them through Lord Jesus. Thank You Father for loving me. Thank You Lord Jesus for being full payment for all my sin.

    **Beware … 2 Cor 11:14 …. for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light;

    As branches of the Vine, simply rest and receive all our needs from Him and let Father do it all by His Spirit, as He did with Christ Jesus on earth …. because as Lord Jesus is, so are we in this world (1 John 4:17) It is no longer we who live, BUT Christ Jesus Who lives in us (Gal 2:20) ….. Christians ….Christ – ins
    John 16:33 ….in Me, [as branches of the Vine] you may have [perfect] peace {and} confidence. In the world you have tribulation {and} trials {and} distress {and} frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

    So …The success of your life, as a child of God, is in direct proportion to the consciousness of the living Christ, and power of God, that is in your heart.” F J Heugal

    **** Eph 2:8 For it is by free grace (God’s unmerited favour) that you are saved (delivered from judgment {and} made partakers of Christ’s salvation) through [your] faith. And this [salvation] is not of yourselves [of your own doing, it came not through your own striving], but it is the gift of God; Eph 2:13 But now in Christ Jesus, you who once were [so] far away, through (by, in) the blood of Christ have been brought near. Eph 2:18 For it is through Him that we both [whether far off or near] now have an introduction (access) by one [Holy] Spirit to the Father [so that we are able to approach Him].

    **** Col 2:13 And you who were dead in trespasses and in the un-circumcision of your flesh (your sensuality, your sinful carnal nature), [God] brought to life together with [Christ], having [freely] forgiven us all our transgressions.

    **** Titus 2:11 For the grace of God (His unmerited favour and blessing) has come forward (appeared) for the deliverance from sin {and} the eternal salvation for all mankind. Titus 2:14 Who gave Himself on our behalf that He might redeem us (purchase our freedom) from all iniquity and purify for Himself a people [to be peculiarly His own, people who are] eager {and} enthusiastic about [living a life that is good and filled with] beneficial deeds.

    **** Heb 10:19 Therefore, brethren, since we have full freedom {and} confidence to enter into the [Holy of] Holies [by the power and virtue] in the blood of Jesus, Heb 10:22 Let us all come forward {and} draw near with true (honest and sincere) hearts in unqualified assurance {and} absolute conviction engendered by faith (by that leaning of the entire human personality on God in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness), having our hearts sprinkled {and} purified from a guilty (evil) conscience and our bodies cleansed with pure water.
    Heb 10:23 So let us seize {and} hold fast {and} retain without wavering the hope we cherish {and} confess {and} our acknowledgement of it, for He Who promised is reliable (sure) {and} faithful to His word.

    1 John 3:1 See what [an incredible] quality of love the Father has given (shown, bestowed on) us, that we should [be permitted to] be named {and} called {and} counted the children of God! And so we are! The reason that the world does not know (recognize, acknowledge) us is that it does not know (recognize, acknowledge) Him.
    1 John 3:9 No one born (begotten) of God [deliberately, knowingly, and habitually] practices sin, for God’s nature abides in him [His principle of life, the divine sperm, remains permanently within him]; and he cannot practice sinning because he is born (begotten) of God.
    1 John 3:10 By this it is made clear who take their nature from God {and} are His children and who take their nature from the devil {and} are his children: no one who does not practice righteousness [who does not conform to God’s will in purpose, thought, and action] is of God; neither is anyone who does not love his brother (his fellow believer in Christ).

    2 Cor 5:17 Therefore if any person is [in-grafted – read John 15] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh {and} new has come!

    1 John 3:23 And this is His order (His command, His injunction): that we should believe in (put our faith and trust in and adhere to and rely on) the name of His Son Jesus Christ (the Messiah), and that we should love one another, just as He has commanded us.
    1 John 3:24 All who keep His commandments [who obey His orders and follow His plan, live and continue to live, to stay and] abide in Him, and He in them. [They let Christ be a home to them and they are the home of Christ.] And by this we know {and} understand {and} have the proof that He [really] lives {and} makes His home in us: by the [Holy] Spirit Whom He has given us.

    1 John 4:12 No man has at any time [yet] seen God. But if we love one another, God abides (lives and remains) in us and His love (that love which is essentially His) is brought to completion (to its full maturity, runs its full course, is perfected) in us!
    1 John 4:13 By this we come to know (perceive, recognize, and understand) that we abide (live and remain) in Him and He in us: because He has given (imparted) to us of His [Holy] Spirit.
    1 John 4:15 Anyone who confesses (acknowledges, owns) that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides (lives, makes His home) in him and he [abides, lives, makes his home] in God.
    1 John 4:16 And we know (understand, recognize, are conscious of, by observation and by experience) and believe (adhere to and put faith in and rely on) the love God cherishes for us. God is love, and he who dwells {and} continues in love dwells {and} continues in God, and God dwells {and} continues in him.
    1 John 4:17 In this [union and communion with Him] love is brought to completion {and} attains perfection with us, that we may have confidence for the day of judgment [with assurance and boldness to face Him], because as He is, so are we in this world.

    Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ [in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ (the Messiah) lives in me; and the life I now live in the body I live by faith in (by adherence to and reliance on and complete trust in) the Son of God, Who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
    John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace {and} confidence. In the world you have tribulation {and} trials {and} distress {and} frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

    1 John 4:1 BELOVED, DO not put faith in every spirit, but prove (test) the spirits to discover whether they proceed from God; for many false prophets have gone forth into the world.
    1 John 4:2 By this you may know (perceive and recognize) the Spirit of God: every spirit which acknowledges {and} confesses [the fact] that Jesus Christ (the Messiah) [actually] has become man {and} has come in the flesh is of God [has God for its source
    1 John 4:4 Little children, you are of God [you belong to Him] and have [already] defeated {and} overcome them [the agents of the antichrist], because He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world.
    1 John 4:5 They proceed from the world {and} are of the world; therefore it is out of the world [its whole economy morally considered] that they speak, and the world listens (pays attention) to them.
    1 John 4:6 We are [children] of God. Whoever is learning to know God [progressively to perceive, recognize, and understand God by observation and experience, and to get an ever-clearer knowledge of Him] listens to us; and he who is not of God does not listen {or} pay attention to us. By this we know (recognize) the Spirit of Truth and the spirit of error.
    1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is (springs) from God; and he who loves [his fellowmen] is begotten (born) of God and is coming [progressively] to know {and} understand God [to perceive and recognize and get a better and clearer knowledge of Him].
    1 John 5:4 For whatever is born of God is victorious over the world; and this is the victory that conquers the world, even our faith.
    1 John 5:5 Who is it that is victorious over [that conquers] the world but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God [who adheres to, trusts in, and relies on that fact]?
    1 John 5:14 And this is the confidence (the assurance, the privilege of boldness) which we have in Him: [we are sure] that if we ask anything (make any request) according to His will (in agreement with His own plan), He listens to {and} hears us.

    Ps 37:1 FRET NOT yourself because of evildoers, neither be envious against those who work unrighteousness (that which is not upright or in right standing with God).
    Ps 37:2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.
    Ps 37:3 Trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) in the Lord and do good; so shall you dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, {and} truly you shall be fed.
    Ps 37:4 Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires {and} secret petitions of your heart.
    Ps 37:5 Commit your way to the Lord [roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass.
    Ps 37:6 And He will make your uprightness {and} right standing with God go forth as the light, and your justice {and} right as [the shining sun of] the noonday.
    Ps 37:7 Be still {and} rest in the Lord; wait for Him {and} patiently lean yourself upon Him; fret not yourself because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked devices to pass.
    Ps 37:8 Cease from anger and forsake wrath; fret not yourself–it tends only to evildoing.
    Ps 37:9 For evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait {and} hope {and} look for the Lord [in the end] shall inherit the earth.
    Ps 37:10 For yet a little while, and the evildoers will be no more; though you look with care where they used to be, they will not be found.
    Ps 37:11 But the meek [in the end] shall inherit the earth and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.
    Ps 37:12 The wicked plot against the [uncompromisingly] righteous (the upright in right standing with God); they gnash at them with their teeth.
    Ps 37:13 The Lord laughs at [the wicked], for He sees that their own day [of defeat] is coming.
    Ps 37:14 The wicked draw the sword and bend their bows to cast down the poor and needy, to slay those who walk uprightly (blameless in conduct and in conversation).
    Ps 37:15 The swords [of the wicked] shall enter their own hearts, and their bows shall be broken.
    Ps 37:16 Better is the little that the [uncompromisingly] righteous have than the abundance [of possessions] of many who are wrong {and} wicked.
    Ps 37:17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken, but the Lord upholds the [consistently] righteous.
    Ps 37:18 The Lord knows the days of the upright {and} blameless, and their heritage will abide forever.
    Ps 37:19 They shall not be put to shame in the time of evil; and in the days of famine they shall be satisfied.
    Ps 37:20 But the wicked shall perish, and the enemies of the Lord shall be as the fat of lambs [that is consumed in smoke] {and} as the glory of the pastures. They shall vanish; like smoke shall they consume away.
    Ps 37:21 The wicked borrow and pay not again [for they may be unable], but the [uncompromisingly] righteous deal kindly and give [for they are able].
    Ps 37:22 For such as are blessed of God shall [in the end] inherit the earth, but they that are cursed of Him shall be cut off.
    Ps 37:23 The steps of a [good] man are directed {and} established by the Lord when He delights in his way [and He busies Himself with his every step].
    Ps 37:24 Though he falls, he shall not be utterly cast down, for the Lord grasps his hand in support {and} upholds him.
    Ps 37:25 I have been young and now am old, yet have I not seen the [uncompromisingly] righteous forsaken or their seed begging bread.
    Ps 37:26 All day long they are merciful {and} deal graciously; they lend, and their offspring are blessed.
    Ps 37:27 Depart from evil and do good; and you will dwell forever [securely].
    Ps 37:28 For the Lord delights in justice and forsakes not His saints; they are preserved forever, but the offspring of the wicked [in time] shall be cut off.
    Ps 37:29 [Then] the [consistently] righteous shall inherit the land and dwell upon it forever.
    Ps 37:30 The mouth of the [uncompromisingly] righteous utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks with justice.
    Ps 37:31 The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.
    Ps 37:32 The wicked lie in wait for the [uncompromisingly] righteous and seek to put them to death.
    Ps 37:33 The Lord will not leave them in their hands, or [suffer them to] condemn them when they are judged.
    Ps 37:34 Wait for {and} expect the Lord and keep {and} heed His way, and He will exalt you to inherit the land; [in the end] when the wicked are cut off, you shall see it.
    Ps 37:35 I have seen a wicked man in great power and spreading himself like a green tree in its native soil,
    Ps 37:36 Yet he passed away, and behold, he was not; yes, I sought {and} inquired for him, but he could not be found.
    Ps 37:37 Mark the blameless man and behold the upright, for there is a happy end for the man of peace.
    Ps 37:38 As for transgressors, they shall be destroyed together; in the end the wicked shall be cut off.
    Ps 37:39 But the salvation of the [consistently] righteous is of the Lord; He is their Refuge {and} secure Stronghold in the time of trouble.
    Ps 37:40 And the Lord helps them and delivers them; He delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they trust {and} take refuge in Him.

Leave a Comment





This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.