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CNLP 250: Gary Chapman on How The Five Love Languages Can Improve Employee Performance at Work, Make Your Marriage Better and Foster a Better Relationship With Your Kids

Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages has sold more than 12 million copies and shows no signs of slowing down;  every year, it sells more copies than the year before.

Gary talks about why the book has resonated as deeply as it has and how using the Five Love Languages at work can greatly improve employee satisfaction. We also drill down on how the love languages can impact your marriage and your parenting.

Welcome to Episode 250 of the podcastListen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Guest Links

Gary on Facebook | Twitter | 5lovelanguages.com  

AppreciationAtWork.com

The 5 Love Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace

The 5 Love Languages of Children

The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers

A Teen’s Guide to the 5 Love Languages

Episode Links

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5 Reasons Charismatic Churches Are Growing (And Attractional Churches Are Past Peak) by Carey Nieuwhof

3 Insights from Gary

1. To love your spouse well you have to learn his or her language

Every person has a primary love language – Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time and Physical Touch.

Couples who say I just don’t feel like you love me anymore often are attempting to show love to each other, but their just not acting it out in the love language their spouse responds to. The best way to overcome this challenge is to study and learn about your significant other’s love language. Learn how to speak it to them on a regular basis and your relationship will grow like never before.

2. To love your kids well you have to learn their languages

Often time kids will say My parents don’t love me. When they are the thing their parents love most. This disconnect comes because the parents are not loving their child in the love language he or she needs most. If you want your relationship with your kids to grow, try starting with how they feel love.

As leaders, most of the parents within our churches and organizations will struggle with this at some point in their parenting life. We as leaders can be helpful by encouraging them to learn and speak the love languages of their children as often as possible. Here’s a great

3. If you want to improve your company learn your team’s languages

The 5 love languages don’t just apply at home, they apply in the workplace too. A lot of managers tell their teams that they appreciate them, but that only works for the employees who respond to Words of Affirmation. If you want to be effective at expressing appreciation in the workplace you have to individualize it for every person on your team.

Love languages at work are not always the same for people as they are at home. When a team begins to speak each other’s love languages, the company culture can improve exponentially.

Quotes from Episode 250

If people feel appreciated in the workplace, they are more highly motivated to give themselves to the task. @DrGaryChapman Click To Tweet People don’t quit companies, they quit managers. @cnieuwhof Click To Tweet In our modern culture pleasure has become God. @DrGaryChapman Click To Tweet You can kill people or give them life by what you say to them. @DrGaryChapman Click To Tweet The question that matters is not do you love your kids, it's do your kids feel loved. @DrGaryChapman Click To Tweet Each child has a particular love language. If you want them to feel loved, you have to learn what it is and how to speak it. @DrGaryChapman Click To Tweet

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 250

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here

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Next Episode: Drew Powell & Matt Warren

The attractional church model has been the dominant church model for 20 years in growing churches and many leaders are noticing it’s not nearly as effective as it used to be. Few churches were better known for the attractional model than Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN. In a raw, honest and open conversation, Creative Director Drew Powell and Executive Director Matt Warren talk about why attractional church isn’t what it used to be, why it was effective but isn’t as much anymore, what they’ve changed (and why Cross Point is now the largest its ever been) and where the future church is heading.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 251.

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