CNLP 022: How to Kill—And Rebuild—Your Marriage. An Interview With Justin And Trisha Davis

So you were in love. And then life and leadership happened, jeopardizing, and sometimes even killing, almost everything you once valued in each other.

Justin and Trisha Davis honestly and candidly share how their marriage fell apart, and—more important—how God rebuilt it.

Welcome to Episode 22 of the Podcast.


Don’t Miss the Orange Conference 2015 Senior Leader Track: Exclusive Podcast Discount

I’ve put together the Senior Leaders Track for The Orange Conference 2015. This year’s Orange Conference features top leaders like Donald Miller, Reggie Joiner, Jud Wilhite and some podcast alumni including Jon Acuff, Perry Noble, Jeff Henderson, Josh Gagnon, and more.

Plus, as a listener of the podcast, I’m giving you a special code for an exclusive discount on the entire conference, including the Senior Leader’s Track. Just go to, and enter this: OC15CNPODCAST.

That gets you the entire conference for only $259, a $50 savings, but this offer is only available for a limited time, so make sure you act now, and stay tuned to future podcasts for more information about the conference. Hurry, time is limited. This offer is ONLY availably until February 19th, so register now!

Guest Links

Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good Enough


RefineUs Ministries on Facebook

RefineUsMinistires on Twitter

Justin on Twitter

Trisha on Twitter

Links Mentioned in this Episode

The Orange Conference 2015  

The Orange Conference/SeniorLeader

Josh Gagnon; (Episode 17)

Jenni Catron

Perry Noble; (Episode 2)

Jud Wilhite

Jeff Henderson; (Episode 16)

Jon Acuff

Reggie Joiner

Doug Fields

Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning

Pete Wilson; (Episode 11)

Cross Point Church

Andy Stanley

3 Things You Can Do Right Away

When you’re doing well in your ministry, you believe your life will just go up and to the right. You want to think that everything else will fall into place, including the most important human relationships in your life. Putting your marriage in auto-pilot exposes it to unforeseen vulnerabilities, and Justin and Trisha shared advice based on their story. Here are three things you can do now:

1. Recognize sin. There is no doubt that sin is enjoyable for awhile, but the consequences of sin always lead to death – the death of a dream, the death of a relationship, etc. We justify sin in our minds and hearts for so long that we become desensitized to it and feel entitled to justify it. If you can recognize it early, you can make changes to prevent sin from taking over.

2. Come to terms with your loneliness and confess. For some, you’re just looking for the bullet to pull the trigger; you’re looking for a way out. You sabotage yourself, thinking, “If I just ruin my life, I won’t have to deal with this anymore.” You don’t have to compromise your marriage, your morals or your integrity. Find strength in knowing that you’re not the only person who’s struggled, you’re not the only person who’s felt depressed or forgotten, and you’re not the only person who’s had feelings for someone other than your spouse. If you’re thinking about heading down that road, remember that whatever pain you’re running from, or whatever relationship you think you’re running to, your baggage goes with you. Start with confessing to someone who’s safe. The Bible has told us that Jesus can make beauty from ashes and that God will give us a way out. You don’t have to choose a path of self-destruction to escape turbulent relationships. Bringing the darkness to light makes the darkness lose its power.

3. Pursue your marriage intentionally. We get married with this vision that the longer we’re married, the better our marriage is going to be. If you’re struggling in your marriage, think about how intentional are you about that relationship. Are you investing as much time, energy and resources in it as you would for work or church? We struggle in our marriage because we stopped doing things that made us to get married in the first place. Kids come, careers take over, and life happens. Those things take away time we once gave to the most important human relationship. Trisha says to allow yourselves to dream with each other, because the natural response will allow you to invest in one another.


Quotes from Justin and Trisha 


A New Episode Every Week…Just Subscribe

The podcast releases every Tuesday morning.

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from great leaders such as Derwin Gray, Ron Edmondson, Jon Acuff, William Vanderbloemen, Tony Morgan, Frank Bealer, Jeff Henderson, Kara Powell, Casey Graham, Perry Noble, and Andy Stanley.

Subscribe via



TuneIn Radio

Appreciate This? Rate the Podcast.

Hopefully this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast in iTunes and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn Radio as well.

Your rating and review helps gets the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

We’ve had 150 reviews so far across all platforms. Leave one and I may feature yours on my podcast page. I read every one and appreciate them all!

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Will Mancini 

One trend almost every church leader is talking about today: people who attend church are attending less often.

Will Mancini walks us through that trend and helps us see how to respond and how NOT to respond as this new reality unfolds around us.

Subscribe now, and you won’t miss Episode 23.

Got a question?

Scroll down and leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!


  1. chumba1 on July 7, 2016 at 11:06 pm

    Just listened to this. Great podcast and an awesome story of redemption. In eight years of ministry at my church I have seen one marriage blossom from the ashes of separation. The husband diligently fasted and prayed for his wife and was intentional in his investment. Just one thing… did I hear Justin call Indianapolis a small town? I guess everything is relative.

  2. Chris Shumate on February 10, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    Justin and Trisha came to the church I attend for a marriage and parenting summit. Their story, while tragic, is redemptive. It is great that they took what the enemy tried to exploit and instead are using it for the glory of Christ and the betterment of the Kingdom.

    I love the proverb that Justin shared about what his friend said, “You’re throwing up in your mouth and thinking it’s food.” Wow! That’s exactly what unrepentant sin is. The problem is we enjoy the taste of it until someone points it out to us.

    Thanks for having them on the podcast. Their story of redemption and forgiveness is inspiring. It should be pre-marriage required reading.

    • Carey Nieuwhof on February 10, 2015 at 8:29 pm

      Chris..thanks for sharing this. And YES…that’s an incredible quote from the interview. One of my faves. So true. So vivid.

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.