In a wide-ranging conversation, Carey talks to author, futurist, film-maker, designer and pastor Erwin McManus about his childhood, how he got over his need for approval, why narcissism is so prevalent in leadership (including how to spot a narcissist), and what he experienced at this year’s Global Leadership Summit.
Welcome to Episode 212 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.
Didn’t See It Coming is Available Now!
As you can tell from the interview with Erwin, self-awareness is so important. So how do you cultivate it?
If you want practical help overcoming a some of the biggest challenges leaders face (like self-awareness), my new book Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the 7 Greatest Challenges That Nobody Expects and Everyone Experiences tackles the seven core issues that take people out: cynicism, compromise, disconnectedness, irrelevance, pride, burnout, and the emptiness of success and provides strategies on how to combat each.
I wrote the book because no 18 year old sets out to be cynical, jaded and disconnected by age 35. Yet it happens all the time.
The good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way.
Here’s what top leaders are saying about Didn’t See It Coming:
“Seriously, this may be the most important book you read this year.” Jud Wilhite, Lead Pastor, Central Church
“Powerful, personal, and highly readable. ” Brian Houston, Global Senior Pastor, Hillsong
“Whatever challenge you’re facing, whatever obstacle you’re hoping to overcome, whatever future you dream or imagine, there is something powerful for you here.” Andy Stanley, Founder, North Point Ministries
“Uncommonly perceptive and generous…You have to read this book.” Ann Voskamp, NYT bestselling author
“Masterful.” Reggie Joiner, CEO Orange
“Deep biblical insight, straightforward truth, and practical wisdom to help you grow.” Craig Groeschel, Pastor and NYT bestselling author
“This book is sure to help you.” Daniel H. Pink, NYT bestselling author
Over the years, one of the things I’ve enjoyed most about being a public speaker is having opportunities to hang out with Carey…It’s not a matter of if you’ll run into these challenges; it’s a matter of when. Be prepared by spending a little time with a leader who has already been there.” Jon Acuff, NYT best-selling author
“Nieuwhof’s book provides expert guidance…with an accuracy that pierces the heart.” Nancy Duarte, CEO Duarte Inc.
“A refreshingly transparent guide for all leaders in a wide variety of industries.” Bryan Miles, Co-Founder and CEO, BELAY
Links from this Episode
An Unstoppable Force: Daring To Become The Church God Had In Mind by Erwin McManus
3 Insights from this Episode
1. Spend more time preparing over planning
So many of us spend time making plans for our lives, but don’t reserve time to cultivate our character. College selections, career choices, cities to break ground in and start a family – there’s a way to plan out every aspect of life.
What we don’t tend to spend enough time doing is preparing our character for the journey. The plans you have will require making difficult choices along the way and those choices are made based on your character. Invest more time on your heart than on your plan.
2. Humility can be found in practical applications
Humility can be an elusive characteristic to pinpoint, but there are practical applications you can make in an effort to be more humble.
Do you have an inherent drive toward admiring humble people?
Do you have a willingness to decentralize power?
Do you empower others to make important decisions?
Do you have a desperate need to learn and be taught by others?
Humility isn’t the sense that you are nothing. It’s more of a self-awareness that there’s more going on in this life outside of just you. Maybe you can never know if you’re genuinely humble, but you can be intentional about doing humble things.
3. Narcissism has key traits and the church needs to be more aware about how to spot them
A Narcissist has:
A high need for praise because the world needs to be about him.
A view that there is no one in the world who can do something better than she can.
A Narcissist doesn’t:
Ask for help because he doesn’t believe anyone else could ever solve a problem that he can’t solve.
Take risks because if she fails it will completely violate her identity.
Accept responsibility for failure, because in his mind the failure was some else’s fault.
Quotes from This Episode
The podcast releases every Tuesday morning
Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Louie Giglio, Ravi Zacharias, Craig Groeschel, Sue Miller, Kara Powell, Chuck Swindoll, Greg McKeown, Jon Acuff and many others.
Appreciate This? Rate the Podcast.
Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?
The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.
Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.
Thank you for being so awesome.
Next Episode: Levi & Jennie Lusko
No one ever expects to lose a child, but that’s what happened in 2012 when Levi and Jennie Lusko’s 5 year old daughter, Lenya, died of an asthma attack. Levi and Jennie talk about what they experienced in the worst moment of their life, how they fought through it, and how they get through the tough days that still arise.
Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 213.