CNLP 014: Why Sex is So Seductive – An Interview with XXXchurch.com’s Ryan Russell

Sex takes down more than its fair share of leaders and families.

So why is sex so seductive?

How do you open up an honest dialogue about sex with your kids or with your church?  I interview XXXChurch.com’s Ryan Russell.

Welcome to Episode 14 of the podcast.

Ryan_Russell_01

Guest Links: Ryan Russell

XXXChurch.com

XXXChurch on Facebook

XXXChurch on Twitter

Ryan Russell’s website

Ryan Russell on Twitter

Links Mentioned in this Episode

Lance Armstrong Opens Up

Perry Noble

CNLP 002: How Perry Noble Hit Bottom While Pastoring One of America’s Largest Churches & How He Battled Back

Craig Gross

Ron Jeremy and Anti-Porn XXXchurch Pastor, America’s Ultimate Odd Couple

Iparent.tv

Open: What Happens When You Get Real, Get Honest and Get Accountable by Craig Gross and Adam Palmer

3 Things You Can Do Right Away

It’s tough for someone to be honest with their struggles, especially when sex is involved. There’s a lack of transparency ­­– people will talk around it, but they won’t talk about it. Here’s how you can start a conversation about sex in a healthy way:

  1. Start small. Any healthy conversation starts small, and it grows. It’s like having a conversation with your kids. The first time you may have a conversation about sex with your kids, it’s one-on-one. It’s comfortable. It’s an introduction, a shorter conversation, but it’s not the end of the conversation. The same model can be used when shepherding or leading a church. That conversation starts smaller and becomes more frequent with a broader audience.
  2. Start with someone you trust. Get comfortable with your church staff and your eldership and develop a plan to pass the message along to other ministries. When you open up the conversation as a leader, you give permission to have the conversation others don’t know how to start.
  3. Lead with love. Starting with a condemning message will push people away from the conversation. Accountability is a critical component for people, but the hardest part is the initial conversation, and the second hardest part is having those conversations before, not after temptation sets in. So many people see accountability as a negative thing. It’s like, “Oh, I’ve gotta confess when I’m busted.” Rather than making it a shameful thing, make being open a positive experience. It can be desirable to live a transparent life and answer to what God has called us to be. In the end, the focus should be on relationships, not on outcomes.

Quotes From Ryan

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Next Episode: Dom Russo

How do you turn around a declining church without blowing it apart?

Dom Russo talks about how he leveraged the past to help bring a church into a new future, more than doubling the size of his church in size in two years.

Subscribe now, and you won’t miss Episode 15.

Got a question?

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5 Comments

  1. Jeff on January 30, 2015 at 12:43 pm

    I used to be ensnared by pornography. It started with Sears Catalogs and then one day as a boy I stumbled across a scrambled playboy channel on TV. Then we moved away to a different state and didn’t have cable but the devil still had plans for me and had a porn pop-up show up on my mother’s computer. Eventually I got trapped and the thing I never thought about doing was letting God in my sex life through prayer. God created sex…so at first it seemed icky to talk about the women lodged in my memory but eventually I got desperate. I started talking about the kind of breasts I like to look at and butts and the rest. I told Christ exactly how it made me feel and what I wanted to do. Then (and this is an IMPORTANT “then”) I talked about how those images were a lie. How large or small breasts were a lie about abundance and the only abundance in this life was in Jesus Christ. I continued with the rest of the body parts or characteristics or appearance and eventually I felt like I transferred that part of my heart to Jesus Christ. You think this might be gross to pray to God like that? No. It’s gross what satan is doing with sex since the beginning of time and if you can’t tell your Heavenly Father the sickest secrets of your heart than why do you think you can trust Him with easy stuff? The sickest. Get it out. Let Him bless your sex life.

    • Jeff on January 30, 2015 at 12:55 pm

      Jesus Christ has prepared for anyone struggling with any sin a greater ecstasy than has ever entered into our hearts. It’s not romantic in the way we would think because it’s greater than that. God gave us His Son and He’s willing to give us the best of the best. At the Cross He had a truer and stronger sincerity than anyone has ever had on this earth and in Heaven we will experience that relentless love constantly. The ugliest person in Heaven is so beautiful that you would be tempted to worship them. Beauty is not evil. It’s time for us to take it back.

  2. Jeff on January 30, 2015 at 12:25 pm

    I think there would be a blessing if someone pointed out that the women or men in the videos are not the only ones be exploited. The people viewing the content are being sexually exploited and many of them at a young age. That might motivate some people.

  3. Jeff on January 21, 2015 at 11:40 am

    “Intimacy isn’t about better sex, it’s about asking the other: ‘what can I do for you next.'” LOL

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