So you lead. And you’re doing your best.
But the real question is—What does your team think of your leadership?
How do you know that you’re not the boss everyone goes home complaining about at the end of the day?
I hold three university degrees and am trained as both a lawyer and a pastor.
During all my training, we didn’t spend a single hour on how to be a good boss or properly run an organization.
I was trained to practice law, but nobody showed me how to lead a law firm. I was trained to preach and study theology, but nobody taught me how to lead a church, let alone a staff or thousands of people.
So, I had to learn the hard way.
All of which raises the eerie question: How do you know whether you’re leading well?
After all, the strength required to be a leader can sometimes push you up against the hard edges of your personality.
And a lack of self-awareness can leave you scratching your head as to why people leave.
These days, the price of a disengaged team is really high: Gifted people simply resign to work somewhere else or start their own thing. And even when people don’t leave, a disengaged, demotivated team produces a fraction of what an engaged team gives at work.
Here are seven signs your team thinks you’re a bad boss.
1. Your Team Feels Like They Work For You, Not With You
Bad bosses treat their team as though people work for them, not with them.
Contrast that with what the best bosses do. The best bosses think of themselves as working for the people around them.
Great leaders prefer to serve rather than be served.
If you keep thinking people work for you, few people will want to work for you.
Bad bosses treat their team as though people work for them, not with them. Great leaders prefer to serve rather than be served. Click To Tweet2. They Don’t Feel Thanked
Poor leaders rarely say thank you. After all, why would you say thank you when people are just doing their jobs?
Good bosses take the time to tap someone on the shoulder and tell them they noticed the difference that team member made today.
Look, I get it. People don’t always understand the sacrifice you make in leadership for them.
But maybe they’ll appreciate you more if you appreciate them more.
Take the time to look the employee in the eye who worked late to get the project done and say thank you.
Great bosses often take the time to handwrite a thank you note.
They high five people. They celebrate successes and reward hard-working employees.
Great leaders realize nobody has to work for them. Which is why people do.
Great leaders realize nobody HAS to work for them. Which is why people do. Click To Tweet3. Your Team Thinks You’re Being Demeaning, Not Just Demanding
I’ve always had high standards as a boss. It’s hard to make progress if you don’t.
It’s one thing to have high standards (great leaders should have high standards), but bad bosses communicate those standards in a way that demeans people.
You can be demanding without being demeaning.
Here’s how: Focus on what you want for people, not just what you want from people. I promise you, your team will feel the difference.
You can be demanding without being demeaning. Focus on what you want for people, not just what you want from people. Click To Tweet4. They Sense It’s All About You
Hey, there’s no doubt your leadership gift probably brings something to the organization or church in which you serve—maybe even a lot.
Leaders, after all, make things happen.
If you want to be a terrible boss, make the organization about you.
Make sure you’re front and center all the time. Think about how grateful people should be to have you.
Be incredulous at why more people don’t thank you for your leadership. Imagine that you should be paid more.
Just think of yourself as undervalued and indispensable.
It’s easy to get there as a leader.
But if you want to be a boss people love to work with, stop the pity party, take the focus off yourself, and put the spotlight back on the mission and the team.
If you want to be a terrible boss, make the organization about you. Click To Tweet5. All the Perks Flow Your Way
Leadership does have perks.
Maybe you know some people other folks would love to connect with.
Maybe you get the nicer office or have a slightly bigger budget than others. Or people send you gift cards once in a while because you’re the boss man.
One of the values in my company these days is my personal fave: Err on the side of generosity.
It’s a value we try to embody not just for our customers, but it’s one I try to extend toward the team.
Whatever you lead, make sure you’re not the sole beneficiary of the organization’s success.
Pay your team a living wage.
Send flowers or gifts when good or sad things happen.
Remember personal milestones (birthdays, anniversaries, etc).
Buy them a macchiato just for fun (assuming they like macchiatos, of course).
Be generous.
Being generous toward your team is a great way to get them to be generous toward others, and toward the mission.
Being generous toward your team is a great way to get them to be generous toward others, and toward the mission. Click To Tweet6. They Get the Blame, You Get the Credit
If you’re a bad boss, there are two surefire ways to anger your team.
First, take all the credit for anything good that happens in your organization. Make sure you mention how it was your idea and, whatever you do, don’t mention your team or how hard they worked on the project.
Second, when things go off the rails, wash your hands of it. Look surprised and then appear concerned.
Blame something else. Blame someone else—anything else.
As hard as it is to accept, it’s the leader’s job to assume responsibility for anything that goes wrong in the organization.
If you’re the leader, you’re responsible. That doesn’t mean it’s your fault, but it does mean it’s your responsibility.
You’ll also discover this one thing though as you assume responsibility: If you have your team’s back, they tend to also have yours.
Leaders, if you have your team's back, they tend to also have yours Click To Tweet7. They’re Tired of You Playing the Martyr
It’s easy to pull out the martyr card as a leader.
Nobody has it as hard as you do, do they?
Nobody is as misunderstood.
I mean, who puts in as many hours for a thankless job? And who really understands you?
Nobody. Of course.
It’s so easy to tell everyone how hard you work, how lonely leadership is and how you haven’t taken a vacation in X years.
Don’t. Just don’t.
Nobody likes a boss who works all night and all weekend, sending emails and texts at all hours of the day and night because nobody-works-as-hard-as-you.
If you’re going to work a Saturday, do your team a favor and set the email to send on Monday at 8 a.m. That way they won’t know you worked on the weekend (again).
Do yourself an even bigger favor: Take a day off yourself. 🙂
You might enjoy the break.
Nobody likes a boss who works all night and all weekend, sending emails and texts at all hours of the day and night because nobody-works-as-hard-as-you. Click To Tweet
