I was out on a bike ride the other day, and I passed someone’s house who goes to our church.

I had that thought that I think every ministry leader has had at some point.

Hey…I don’t think I’ve seen them for a while. Has it been 3 or 4 months? (Pause).

I wonder if they left?

I even tried to help one of their family members through a crisis recently. Then I thought I wonder if I made it worse…not better.

I then found myself in that awkward space. We are a larger church (about 1500 people call us home) with two locations.

How do you drill down on that?

I realized we have people who are within this family’s natural sphere of care and so of course we’re going to check in on them and make sure they’re okay.

It also made me think about how people tend to leave churches these days.

Some leave angry and cause a fight. 

Most just disappear, often without a word.

We don’t have a lot of the first kind at our church these days, but I’m sure we have some of the second.

It got me thinking…

Keep reading this post…

We’re all gifted at something.

Sometimes in the name of false modesty we pretend we’re not really that gifted. But that’s just not true.

You’re gifted at something:

Communication

Leadership

Mercy

Serving

Discernment

Music

Encouragement

Giving

And besides, it’s always good to remember that our gifting says as much about the Giver as it does about the recipient; your gifting is a reflect of God’s handiwork.

You would think a gift could only help you. But that’s not necessarily true.

It can actually hurt you.

So how does that happen?

Here’s how:

Keep reading this post…

I’ve said it. You might have said it too.

Leadership is lonely.

For all my time since graduating university, I’ve been a senior leader. It sounds more glamourous than it is.

When I started, all three churches I served had a total attendance of less than 50 people; I was the senior leader because I was the only paid leader. But as our ministry has grown, I’m leading more people than I’ve ever led. And with over a dozen staff and 1500 people who call our church home, I find myself something thinking that leadership is lonely.

Ever said these things as a leader?

Nobody understand what this leadership load is like.

People don’t really care how I feel.

It’s lonely at the top.

Leadership is just lonely.

I have. And I began to accept loneliness as part of the job.

Sure, I know I things happened along the way:

Early on in ministry I got ‘peopled out’ – I got worn down by the constant demands on my time.

My time in leadership has actually seen me move from a moderate extrovert to a moderate introvert in my personality type.

I’ve had to struggle hard to keep my heart fresh and to keep cynicism from overtaking me (see these posts for five early warning signs of a hard heart and ways to avoid becoming cynical).

I’ve also begun to realize that being lonely is a terrible way to live.

Sure, we come by it honestly.

Doing things alone is part of our culture. Ever think through High Occupancy Vehicle lanes?

Two people in a car passes as ‘high occupancy’ in our culture. Over 9 out of 10 people drive alone!!

People might live that way.

But you don’t have to lead that way.

Keep reading this post…