Where People Gravitate

If you want to attract and keep great people around you, value them.

As I watch my own patterns, I realize this truth – I gravitate to where I feel valued most.  My guess is you do too. Probably your favourite people to be around value your input, listen to your ideas and respect you both on an intellectual and personal level.  You feel appreciated and you feel like you’re making a difference.

If you want a deeper, closer relationship with your spouse and kids, value them.  Desire deeper friendships?  Value people.  Want to be a better boss or co-worker? Value people.  If you’re a ministry leader in charge of volunteers, value those who serve with you.

Conversely, if you want people around you to lose heart, make them feel like they don’t matter.  That rule works on a personal and professional level.

Valuing people sounds easy, but it can be challenging:

  • Most of us tend to take for granted those close to us.  That undercommunicates value and sells the relationship short.
  • Insecure people can’t value others because it threatens their own sense of worth.
  • People feel like they are valued in different ways: some prefer public or private verbal recognition,  some look for input and a seat at the table, others appreciate gifts, some just like time with you.  Often, it’s a sustained combination of all these that communicates value most deeply.

Who do you value?  This coming week (or even today), how are you going to let them know?

What makes you feel valued?  What are some of the best ways you communicate value to other people?



  1. Chris Oldcorn on March 15, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    Great article! I feel valued by people who value my opinions and are not just dismissive of them. I try to do the same to others.

    “Do unto others as you want them to do to you”

    • Carey on March 15, 2011 at 8:40 pm

      So true. Respect and agreement are two different things. Thanks Chris.

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