John Ortberg has a brand new podcast, What Were You Thinking? Today, we flip the mic, and John interviews Carey Nieuwhof about workaholism, how to be appropriately vulnerable about your story, and finding God when things get tough in life and leadership.
Welcome to Episode 307 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.
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Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | What Were You Thinking?
Episode Links
What if, in 40 days, you could grow your small groups in your church by 40%? Based on Pastor Zach Zehnder’s book, The Red Letter Challenge is a 40-day turnkey church campaign that centers around making more effective disciples of Jesus. Go to RedLetterChallenge.com/Carey to find church packages ready to go for you.
10 Million Podcast Downloads Giveaway
Managing Leadership Anxiety by Steve Cuss
Didn’t See It Coming by Carey Nieuwhof
The Genesee Diary by Henry Nouwen
3 Insights from John and Carey
1. Burnout is a factor for all driven people
Most leaders eventually hit a wall, whether it’s clinical burnout, their marriage falling apart, their relationship with their kids deteriorating, or realizing they simply need to delegate. Every driven leader gets there. When they hit this wall, they realize that a change needs to be made, but most have no clue what that change is.
Although it’s not the same for everyone, it is almost always tied to a lie that a leader believes. Carey has learned that he, as a leader, was believing that his performance defined his worth. This led to him trying to perform more and more until he hit his wall. Ever since, he has been intentional about living in a way today that will help him thrive tomorrow.
2. The senior leader sets the culture
Over many years of thinking and inspecting his own leadership, Carey has learned that unhealthy leaders create unhealthy cultures. He knows this because he used to be that unhealthy leader. Now, he has spent years changing how he views the purpose of work in his and his team’s lives.
He used to think that he uses people to get work done, and that led to an unhealthy culture. Now, he has realized that he is trying to use work to grow the people that work there. In a healthy culture, people are the goal, not the work.
3. The appropriate level of vulnerability to have from the stage is…
Carey has learned that the voice and position we communicate from makes a massive impact on whether the message is helpful or not. Many leaders naturally take a position where they are up on top of a mountain, and if you want access to them, you have to come sit at their feet. Carey has learned that this position doesn’t work. People admire your strengths but they resonate with your weaknesses.
So what voice does Carey use? He uses a voice that is “ in the field” with the reader. This voice is saying, “I know this is hard, I struggle too, but maybe making this change will help us.” When Carey uses this voice, he is much more engaged with his audience.
Quotes from Episode 307
Spiritual health is often a casualty of ministry and leadership. @cnieuwhof Click To Tweet When you're winning at church and losing at home, you're losing. @cnieuwhof Click To Tweet How do I live in a way today that will help me thrive tomorrow? @cnieuwhof Click To Tweet The office is something we used to go to, and now the office goes to us. @cnieuwhof Click To Tweet By the time this race is over, I want the people closest to me to be the people who are most grateful for me. @cnieuwhof Click To Tweet People are most tempted to quit moments before their critical breakthrough. @cnieuwhof Click To Tweet The health of the organization is directly linked to the health of the senior leader. @cnieuwhof Click To Tweet Unhealthy leaders create unhealthy cultures. @cnieuwhof Click To Tweet Sometimes burnout is God's will for your life because he wants to do a redirection. @johnortberg Click To Tweet If God wants to go deep. It's because he wants to take you far. @cnieuwhof Click To Tweet You cannot over communicate. @cnieuwhof Click To TweetRead or Download the Transcript for Episode 307
Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?
Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.
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Next Episode: Larry Osborne
Larry Osborne shares 4 decades of wisdom with leaders on everything from how to connect high capacity leaders, to what to do if you wanted to make a million dollars, to questions you should ask other leaders, to meeting dynamics on how to handle him. Carey spends almost the entire episode pitching some of his favorite Larry Osborne quotes back to Larry and having Larry expound on them. The results are fascinating.
Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 308.
