CNLP 271: Ken Coleman on the Fine Art of World-Class Interviewing, How to Get the Best Out of People and How to Network Without Being a Social Climber

1. How do you get someone to open up in a conversation?

Ken has 2 major strategies that will get 95% of people to open up during the first 5 minutes of a conversation. First, he takes the guest back in time and asks about their past. He has learned that when someone has to think back into their past, they are much more invested in the conversation and will open up when they begin enjoying the conversation.

The other tactic Ken employs is that when he asks about someone’s life, he asks very specific questions about specific events. By making them dig back in time and dig for specifics, he gets a more engaged answer. This is also an opportunity to show the person he is talking with that he did his homework in preparation for the interview. When people see that he has done his homework, they feel valued and begin to enjoy the conversation even more.

2. When preparing for a meeting or interview, aim your questions deeper

When preparing to meet with someone important, don’t ask questions that anyone could ask. When Ken prepares for a key conversation, he thinks about what they are an expert in, but then he takes it deeper. He asks about the specific situations that individual has led through and finds the specific things that the audience needs to know so that they can relate to those experiences.

The goal is to make the person you are talking to have to pause and think. If they don’t have an automatic response, you know you are asking the right questions. When you bring these quality questions to an interview, those leaders will walk away from the conversation thinking “Wow, that was a great interview!” When they think this, you are more likely to get a follow-up interview.

3. How can young leaders get ahead in a field they have little experience in?

When Ken was asked this question he came up with the Proximity Principle. The Proximity Principle states: “In order to do what I want to do I’ve got to be around people that are doing it and in places where it is happening.” So by being around the people that are doing what you want to be doing, they will begin to show you the places where it is happening.

Once you begin to get into those places, you will begin to meet even more people that are doing what you want to be doing, and the cycle repeats itself. For this process to work, Ken sees 5 people that you need to have within your “proximity.” He outlines who these people are in his new book The Proximity Principle.

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