I rarely get sick, but yesterday I woke up feeling a bit queasy and it steadily grew worse over the day. By supper I was ready to woof my waffles. As best as I can figure, I either have the flu or food poisoning (had some red hot chicken wings for lunch on Wednesday….). It was not pretty last night. I had to miss my son’s hockey game. I stayed home and lay on the couch, getting up only to stumble to the bathroom.
Then, as though God was punishing me for always being the guy who likes the house cool, I got the chills. I couldn’t stop shaking for 30 minutes and I threw a sweatshirt on and put every blanket in the bed overtop of me. I was still cold. Even lying down didn’t make me feel better.
This morning I feel marginally better, but it got me thinking. I can’t remember the last time I had to go to bed because I was sick with something. It must have been years.
I am so used to independence…being able to do things for myself and for others. Sam got me ginger ale last night. Toni went out and got me meds. I could basically just lie there and hope I warmed up. Eventually, Jordan Sam and Toni all came in and we had good, long conversations. That was great.
Spiritually, we’re all supposed to be dependent on God. I catch myself often and wonder whether I am doing things for God or whether I am doing things in God, in His strength. As a write that as an A type personality, I’m not even sure I know what that means.
I always thought Jesus’ last words to Peter were weird. Look at this exchange.
“I tell you the truth, when you were young, you were able to do
as you liked; you dressed yourself and went wherever you wanted to go.
But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will
dress you and take you where you don’t want to go.”
Jesus said this to let him know by what kind of death he would glorify God. Then Jesus told him,
“Follow me.” [john 21.18-19]
I’m not sure I’d be happy if those were the words Jesus "blessed" me with.
Yet there is something to dependence that is amazing. At new levels, you open yourself to others. You open yourself to God.
I expect to feel better later today (I still can’t stand being sick)…but somehow I hope I keep thinking about these things.