Sometimes there’s a revolution going on, and you can sense it, but you can’t quite name it.
Almost every leader is caught in one of those moments right now.
How you lead—and how you need to lead to be relevant—is changing fast.
A generation ago, a leader was regarded as an expert. A leader:
- Knew things others didn’t.
- Could assume his or her opinion would be respected.
- Carried an authority that came with the position.
And as a result, a leader had a distinct advantage over others.
Not all of those characteristics are entirely gone. But the canary in the coal mine hasn’t chirped in a while.
What’s shifting?
Knowledge.
For example, think about how you buy a car.
Fifteen years ago, you might have read a few brochures about the vehicle or bought a magazine that rated models. You walked into a dealership knowing a little, but the car dealer probably knew 10x-100x more about the car and the deal than you did.
Does anyone buy a car that way anymore?
Today, most people have researched their next purchase to the nth degree before setting foot in a dealership (if they even set foot in a physical dealership anymore). A purchaser will know all the options, the deals out there, the terms they want, the recall history and might even know the dealer cost and stock level of what they’re looking for.
Sometimes the purchaser knows more about the vehicle than the seller.
That always threatens leaders who want to see themselves as ‘experts.’
Conversely, innovative leaders welcome that trend.
They learn how to have great conversations with:
- Purchasers
- Skeptics
- The public
People who have no immediate plans to buy their product
All of this has tremendous implications for how leaders lead in the church.
Gone is the day when the pastor or leader is assumed to be the expert. I realize we’ve known this for decades, but the challenge has been no one seems to be clear on what the new paradigm is.
In the absence of authority, leaders have ended up all over the place and resorted to various behaviors:
- Pounding the pulpit harder, thinking that being louder will make them heard.
- Speaking with less certainty, thinking that being equivocal will help.
- Giving up the field to others, not sure how to respond.
Back to our car dealer. If you actually walk into a dealership and the salesperson greets you, respects you, celebrates what you’ve learned on your own, and engages in a real conversation that’s an equal sharing of information and lacking in high-pressure tactics, aren’t you more likely to want to buy? I would be. After all, you are looking to get a car.
So, what if one of the keys to engaging a post-modern, post-Christian, literate, and well-read generation is simply having great conversations?
Here are five traits I think will characterize leaders who have become skilled conversationalists:
1. Assume intelligence.
Assume your audience is smart. Assume they’ve read widely. Assume they may know more than you. And assume that you will have one opinion among the many they are considering.
2. Invite dialogue.
While I think the sermon will be around for a long time, communicators who anticipate questions by addressing objections and concerns in their message and outside it will be far more effective.
While I’m not sure you need to sit people around tables or take live questions during a message (we rarely do), communicators who realize their 30-45 minutes will be part of a broader dialogue will be far more effective than communicators who don’t. You need some place for structured dialogue and casual dialogue.
Community groups and environments like Starting Point that are conversation-based will go a long way toward respecting and engaging the views of others. Creating a culture where dialogue is valued will also be paramount. Cultures where one-way communication is the only option are a dying breed.
3. Respect differing opinions while holding to yours.
You don’t need to convince others they are wrong for you to be right. And you don’t need to retreat from your opinion just because you disagree with someone. Value differing views. People who feel respected engage more deeply.
And if they are considering converting to Christianity, they need something to convert to; so don’t abandon your convictions. Just don’t disrespect or devalue theirs in the process. Not surprisingly, the more you respect the views of others, the more they will be open to yours.
4. Do your homework.
If people are well-read, you should be too. Know why you believe what you believe and share it when asked. Also, make sure you know why others believe what they believe. It will help you understand them. The deeper your knowledge base, the further you’ll be able to go in the conversation. And when you keep things respectful, people might actually be interested in what you know.
5. Engage online.
The conversation can happen online too. Being on social media allows you to listen to what others are thinking, ask questions, engage in conversation, and help people with the questions they’re struggling with. I think we’ll see the media platforms of churches and other organizations become increasingly social and interactive in the next few years, and that will be a great thing.
By the way, if you want to drill down on this, listen in on this conversation between Daniel Pink and Derek Halpern or read Gary Vaynerchuck’s book, The Thank You Economy.
