I almost got into a fight yesterday.

Not bad for a pastor on a Sunday night.

The details aren’t that important, but let me just say it involved a hockey rink and another dad who started to act out toward my son.  I told him in no uncertain terms he needed to back off.  He then started verbally attacking me.  It was over in 60 seconds (after drawing a crowd).  No shoving, no pushing, no punching at all…but it was the closest I’ve come to a show down in a long time.  I felt so angry and defensive inside.  I’m glad he didn’t hit me because I’m not sure how I would have responded.  I would like to think I wouldn’t have fought back…but who knows?

Last night reminded me about a principle I’ve been thinking about for the last year or so:  crisis reveals character.

When I prepare for a meeting, a Sunday morning or even time out with friends or family, I can usually pull myself together quite nicely for the occasion.  It can lead me to believe I’ve got my character under control.  But nothing reveals character like a crisis.

I find that when I’m under pressure I learn more about myself – my cracks, my weaknesses, my true motivations, than at any other time.  The temptation is to convince ourselves that our reactions under pressure are the exception to the rule (you were under stress….it happened so quickly).  But I think they reveal more about than we care to admit.

What if those crisis points were a window into what God wants to do next in our lives?  What if we didn’t dismiss them, but saw them as a huge window for growth.

It’s easy to spot in other people – the boss who loses his temper when challenged at staff meeting needs some anger management.  The spouse who gets defensive every time a suggestion is made needs to think about why that is.  We can write it off as instinct, but what gets revealed in crisis is our character.  Crisis reveals character.

What do you think?  Does crisis show you who you really are, for better or for worse?  What are you learning about yourself in moments like those?

(By the way, I’ll be working on how I react to provocation – praying through that.   Oh, and you might want to stay away from me at the next game.)

You likely have a to do list.  Mine’s often a bit long and always changing.

A to do list is one thing, but I wonder what would happen if we created a to-be list? 

There’s so much to do that often in the process of doing I forget to tend to who I am becoming.  What if I spent as much time developing my character as I do trying to accomplish tasks?

After all, doesn’t character ultimately nuance and even determine what we accomplish? I love Switchfoot, but I like them even more after @jonathanforeman (Switchfoot’s front man) twittered about this rendition of one of their new songs.  A fairly famous guy gave a teenage girl who home videoed one of his songs a shout out to thousands of people.  How cool is that? It says so much about his character.

Great people are great because of who they are as much as for what they accomplish.  Great people forgive liberally.  They add value to people they meet.  They stand up for things that matter but are just as happy to take a back seat so others can shine.  They love radically and serve with selfless abandon.

For me to be more like that takes work.  Maybe we need to-be lists as badly as we need to-do lists.

I’m thinking for me these days, I’d start with one word on my to-be list: kindness.  In my daily interactions with everyone, I want to be more kind.  

If you had a to-be list today, what would be on it?  How might it change you?  How might working on being, not just doing, change your life?