Leaders find themselves wrestling with two roles all the time.  We are both the biggest cheerleaders and the biggest critics of everything within our organization.  It’s a tension that’s necessary and often difficult to manage.  It’s Jim Collin’s Stockdale paradox at work in a very practical way.

We need to be the cheerleaders because:

• We really believe in the cause and the cause is worth everything we pour into it (and more).
• We believe in the people around us and value them deeply.
• Everyone needs encouragement – all of us do better when we know we’re moving in the right direction and can see we’re making a difference.

But, we are also its chief critics:

• No one should be more willing to name the brutal facts than we are.
• No one should be thinking more about our shortcomings and areas for improvement than leaders do.
• No one should be more honest about an organization than its leaders.

And here in lies the tension.  We need to balance both of these roles carefully, prayerfully and thoughtfully.

Over emphasizing the cheerleader role can lead to:

• Self-deception
• Narcissism
• A detachment from reality

Over-emphasizing the critic role can lead to:

• Discouragement
• Demoralization
• A loss of hope

Sometimes I think as a leader I can tip too hard on one side or another.

In fact,  if I don’t constantly correct myself, I will lean toward cheerleading in public forums and criticizing in private forums.

So here’s what I have to do to correct that.  I need to remember to be accurate and honest about things where we’re at when communicating publicly (eliminating ‘pastor spin’ as one friend calls it), and be sure we celebrate all the progress we’ve made when working privately with the team.  If I can keep those two things straight, I do a much better job managing the tension.

How do you encounter these two conflicting roles in what you do?  What bothers you about them?  What do you like about them?  Which side do you tend to tip toward and what do you do about it?

You’re leading whether you want to or not.

When I started out in life, I used to think leadership was something you did.  Now I believe it’s something you are.  And you can’t help but do it. You lead whether you intend to or not.

Think about the leadership implications of:

• The tone of every DM, tweet, status update or email you send.
• Your energy level and the way you interact with people in meetings.
• The way you interact with your volunteers, staff, colleagues, kids, spouse, neighbours and friends.
• The choices you make with how you spend your time.
• The way you spend money.
• The requests and demands you make of other people.
• The way you respond to needs around you.

How you live is more influential than what you say.  In fact, it reveals what you actually believe.  And people respond to that more than they respond to anything else.

This may be a day off for you, a day filled with things you don’t want to do, or a dream day.  Regardless of what it is, you’re leading by the way you’re living.  And how you live will determine the kind of impact you leave.

What do you watch for in leaders?  What do you think other people see in our lives that determines whether they want to follow or not?

What is routine to you has the potential to be a defining moment for someone else.

This happens to you all the time.  You have a problem with a product and you call customer service.  For you, the issue is significant enough to call the company about.  For the customer service agent, you are call number 38 in a list of what will likely be 125 phone calls today.  He’s talked to 37 of you already.  To you, the entire experience of the company is now hinging on one phone call.   To him, you’re just another upset person taking your place in a long line.

Or not.

Exceptional customer service happens when you’re not just one more person calling with a complaint.  Exceptional customer service happens when you end up feeling like you might be the only guy who called that day.  It happens when your complaint gets heard, and even if they can’t do exactly what you want, they care enough to work something out to keep your business.  But best of all, exceptional customer service happened when they made you feel valued, heard, understood and important.

Now flip it.

See, most of us are more like that customer service agent than we think.  You and I largely do the same thing every day.  Most of our jobs have routine elements to them.  So, for that matter, do our lives. And every person you connect with, wall post you respond to, message you clear out of your inbox, soccer practice you drive the kids to, ‘how was your day at school’ question at dinner,  and person you talk to at the event can easily end up becoming just one more item to deal with.  It’s just routine.

But there’s nothing routine about it to the person who sent you the email, is talking to you at the reception, or is waiting to see if dad really cares.

If you respond routinely, you won’t remember what you said ten minutes from now.  But they might remember it for months, or even for the rest of their lives.

What is just  routine to us can be a defining moment for them.

Which is maybe why I should never treat anything as routine.

At least as long as there are people involved.

I’m going to try to remember that every Sunday when I’m dead dog tired after preaching and there’s just ‘one more’ person who has a question for me or wants to say hi.  Because there’s nothing routine about that.

It’s Monday…and you’re looking at the week ahead.  Chances are the week is a mixture of opportunities and obligations.

There are things we have to do, and things we want to do.  As disciplined as we are in saying no and as selective as we are in what we choose to do, all of us still have our share of obligations ahead of us.

Here’s a question I’ve been toying with:

What if I saw everything I did as an opportunity (including the obligations)?

Basically, it would require an attitude adjustment on my part.  But think about it.  Chances are you resent something on your calendar this week.

Instead of walking into the meeting only thinking about when it was going to be over, what if you went in asking God to help you see this as an opportunity?

Instead of heading off the social function you’d rather avoid, what about asking yourself and God how you could grow, or show an interest in other people, or discover something you otherwise would have missed?

What if all the stuff around the house that has to be done was a chance to learn, grow and shift your attitude?

What would happen to you?  To your marriage?  To your parenting?  To your character?  To your influence?

What if you saw everything you did this next week as seeded with opportunity?

What you and I should bring to the table every day is our best.

There are some people who can solve a crisis in a moment that others couldn’t solve in a millenium.

There are some people who are constantly learning, growing, and adding skills and efficiencies to their repertoire.

There are some people who make others better by simply being around.

There are some people who are determined to solve a problem no matter what. Even if they can’t in the end, it wasn’t for lack of trying.

There are some people who cultivate wisdom that makes everything they contribute to better (I have seen this present in 25 year olds and also absent in 45 year old – age is not the key determinant in wisdom)

If you can bring this to the table on the majority of your days, you will bring more than most people.  In fact, according to Seth Godin, you will become indispensable.  In his words, you become a linchpin, and your value goes up.  (If you want some innovative thinking on this, read Seth’s short post on it.)

The only way I can live in this space regularly is by managing my energy, not just my time.  Everyone gets the same amount of time in a day, but not everybody brings the same amount of energy to a day.

For me at this stage in my life and work, here’s what I need to do to bring my best energy:

Get enough sleep (7-8 hours a night)

Exercise

Eat reasonably healthily

Start my day with the Bible and prayer…and cultivate a closeness with God that is with me throughout the day

Have some fun (for me, biking, taking pictures, watching movies, and hanging out with friends and family)

Write and Blog (this blog is a place where I can say whatever is on my mind)

Do more than one thing (being a full time pastor and writing and speaking is like cross-disciplinary training for me)

Get around people smarter and wiser than me

Have white space in my calendar with nothing to do but think and work ‘on it’ not ‘in it’

Read

Start my day early and get my best work in before 10:00 a.m.

Cultivate life-giving friendships with churched and non-churched people

I have a lot to learn, but I do know this: when those 12 things are present in my life, I bring much better energy to whatever I’m doing.  How about you?  What fuels your energy?

Time management is one thing.

But we all know people who put in lots of hours and get few results.  In fact, sometimes we are those people.  A twelve hour day can produce less when I’m dragging than a six hour day might when I have energy and enthusiasm for a task. In fact, I’m coming off a season where I’ve invested a lot of time in a way that’s challenged my energy. That’s hardly optimal.  I’ve heard a few leaders speak on bringing your energy to a task and it’s really got me thinking.

What if we started thinking about our work and life less in terms of time management and more in terms of energy management?

If life is a stewardship, one of the best things I can steward is my energy.  Bringing energy to a task is bringing an alert mind and full heart.  It’s bringing optimism and drive rather than indifference or exhaustion.

If I really think of stewarding my energy as much as stewarding my time it would mean:

I need to make sure I show up to key tasks (writing, meetings, family and administration) with energy, rested, alert and ready to bring my best.

I would value down time, because off time actually refuels your energy.

I would pay more attention to what fuels me (rest, exercise,  reading, friends, family,  working on it, not just in it) so that my tank is fuller.

I would be more willing to walk away when I wasn’t bringing my best instead of putting in three more unproductive hours and wasting everyone’s time.

I would be more disciplined with down time because I would realize it allows me to bring my best to work, family and relationships.

Oh – and energy is something that can really help you make an impact.  We all get the same amount of time each day, but energy varies from person to person.  When we show up with more, we make a bigger difference.

What if you started to manage your energy rather than your time?  What difference would that make?

Many of us go to conference, have dreams or envision a future that’s different from the present.  That’s normal, and frankly, admirable.  Life is better when we try to make progress. And God designed us to help usher in a better reality than the one sin envisions.

Last week at the Orange Conference, I got asked a great question: faced with a lot of changes that need to be made, how do I decide which ones to make?

I love that question.  A simple answer: work backwards.

Here’s what that means.  Imagine where you want to be down the road.   Then work backwards to figure out what changes you need to make that future reality.  Ask yourself: if I really want to be that kind of person/church/leader, what do I need to change to get there?

I know that sounds simple, but it’s important because normally that’s not how change works.  Often, we come away with ten fresh ideas or changes we want to make.  But rather than make sure all our changes are leading toward the same end or goal, we just randomly implement good ideas unaware that they may even be working at crossed purposes.  And because the changes we implement aren’t leading anywhere in particular, they frustrated everyone involved (including those of us who initially thought the change was a good idea).

Got a change you want to make?  First, plot out a mental picture of where you want to be one, two or five years down the road.  Then work backwards to figure out whether the change you’re proposing makes sense given your goal.

As we wrap up the Orange Conference today, you’ll head home with your lots of intriguing, inspiring and innovative ideas. In fact, every time you mine a website, dig through a blog, read a book, connect with other leaders or attend a conference, that’s what happens.

And the challenge on coming home is this:  you will be tempted to try to implement a few good ideas.  And that’s the problem.

The activity in most churches is often a conglomeration of good ideas.  But in the sea of good ideas, nothing is truly great.  And good isn’t good enough.  One great idea…one great ministry…one great initiative will always beat out a hundred good ones.  The tablet computer market has been around a longer than the iPad.  But it was a handful of reasonable ideas, experiments and good (and not so good) products.  Then came one great product: the iPad.  And it changed everything.  According to most pros, all the competition that has since ensued is just good.

And that’s the problem with good.

What if going home the best thing you could do was to spend six months reconsidering everything you did?  Some of that will be easy.  It doesn’t take a leader to identify what is bad, dead or not working.  That might be easy to get rid of.  But chances are you have more than a few good things at your church.  Why not look at eliminating the merely good so you can do what is great?

At Connexus, where I serve, here are a few ways that plays out:

• We are committed to reaching your families, and we program everything in our weekend service around that – the music, the message and our entire service.  Lots of others attend, but we never apologize for a style of service that is targeted and specific in its objective.
• We don’t do a lot of ‘adult’ programmes (other than community groups) so we can focus on getting people into community groups and focus on building a first rate family ministry.  If you do less, you can accomplish more.
• We say no to almost every initiative that gets proposed for ministry because we don’t want to go off mission or off strategy.  It’s not that the way we do ministry is not the only way to do ministry, it’s just that it’s the way we’re committed to doing ministry.

So as you head home, don’t settle for good.  Do the hard work and get to great.  You won’t be sorry.

So it’s day two of the Orange Conference, and I can imagine your passion is running high.  But passion alone won’t win the day.  Passion needs something else: clarity.

Here’s a repost that might help us think through how to implement what we’re currently excited about.

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I love conference.  The Orange Conference starts today.  It’s simply phenomenal.  5000 leaders from around the world in one place to figure out how churches can help parents and the next generation win.  Last month our team was at Drive.  These are world class opportunities to learn and connect.  They are also, quite frankly, fun.

But they can be challenging too.  Here’s why.  Conferences are almost always run by people who started churches.  They are almost always run by leaders who have met with some considerable ‘success’ in ministry, often with stories of churches that start with 1000 people in attendance in the first year, first month, first minute…you know the story.

The tension is that conferences are attended mostly by people who are trying to transition an existing church or by leaders who are in a start up that attracted hundreds or dozens in it’s first year.   And the reality is the churches most of us go home to have some confusion about ministry approach, future direction, and may have teams that are not all on the same page.

You go to a conference and get completely fired up. You’re excited, inspired.  You dream.  You actually see what could be.

And then you go home.

And a month later you are discouraged, frustrated, angry and a bit heartbroken.  Because what could be is not yet.  And now it looks like it might never be.  It’s not that you don’t want it to be, it’s that you don’t know how.

Three qualities can help us tremendously as we think about what happens when we point the car home or hand the boarding pass to the gate agent:

Courage – What I’m perhaps being called to do is going to take time, resolve and strength that in all likelihood God himself is going to have to give me.

Humility – I came alone or only with a few team members.  I need to go home and humbly work with other people who weren’t in the room to create a shared vision, shared action plan and shared implementation plan.

Perseverance – The work I’m doing is hard.  I need to take a long view and realize I will over estimate what can happen in the course of a week or months, but I will likely underestimate what can happen over the course of a few years.

What helps you turn a vision into reality when you head home?  What’s your biggest struggle in implementing great ideas and new directions when you get home?