Everywhere I go, I talk to pastors who are experiencing the same thing.

People who attend church are attending less often.

People who used to attend every week are attending 3 times a month. People who were around twice a month often now show up once a month. And attenders who used to come once a month are showing up half a dozen times a year.

This is true of rapidly growing churches, mega churches, mid-sized churches, Bible churches and churches like Connexus (where 60% of our growth is from previously unchurched people.)

You can get mad at people…but that’s not really that helpful. If all people get is judgment or ‘should have done better’ when they show up at your church, why would they keep coming? You don’t line up to be judged either.

There are fewer and fewer of us every year who

Feel guilty when we miss a Sunday (I do…but I’m a dinosaur…I know it)

Have a natural instinct to head to a gathering of Christians on the first day of the week

Miss church when we can’t get there

Some church leaders I know wonder whether people will even attend physical buildings a decade from now. I believe they will, but maybe not in the droves people are even today.

So what’s going on? And how can you ‘compete’?

Well, culture is changing (in my next post I’ll talk about the changing characteristics of unchurched people).

But two of the biggest factors that used to drive attendance in the last 20-50 years are now reproducible online.

Two decades ago:

If you wanted to hear great preaching, you had to go to church. Podcasting and online campuses have changed this.

If you wanted great music, you had to go to church. Okay, maybe church music wasn’t that great 20 years ago. But somebody liked it. Now, for $20, all your favourite songs are on your phone wherever you go.

So what do you do?

Is the battle lost? Not at all.

Here are 7 ways to respond as people attend church less often:

1. Create an Awesome Online Presence. Launching an online campus is a goal for us, but between Facebook, Twitter, podcasts, app, website and blog, people can pretty much stay connected. And even giving to church online has never been easier. (70% of our offering comes in online.) Many people tell me when they’re not physically present they stay in touch via all of these media. Don’t judge your people for not being there, help them stay connected instead.

2. Elevate Personal Relationships. Somehow facilitating a personal relationship is easier and more effective in person. Churches that value personal relationships (even for thousands of people through groups) will always attract people who value personal connection (which is, I think, almost all of us).

3. Love People. Can you love fully love people without being fully present? Do human relationships go to their deepest level in person? I think so. 2 in 5 married couples meet online today. But even those 2 in 5 couples who meet online don’t stay online…they get married. Love can be expressed online, but its fulfilment happens deepest through personal contact.

4. Create an Irresistible Experience. There is something that happens when you are in the room and in the moment that doesn’t happen watching on line. A live concert is never quite the same as watching a song on YouTube or even a concert in full HD on a kicking home theater system. Church is more than the sum of its parts…between the preaching, music, creative elements, human interaction and hall way conversations. You get much of it online, but not all of it. At least not yet. (By the way, if your church is boring, you’ve already lost the battle. Start there.)

5. Offer Offline Surprises. Do something fun in the parking lot, foyer or service that you don’t podcast. Create some fun moments. Last year we handed out an awesome Canadian treat - gourmet butter tarts – to everyone who attended on a particular long weekend. People who missed it were completely bummed.

6. Create a Culture of Serving. Online church doesn’t allow many serving opportunities. When you get up early to set up and tear down, lead a 2nd grade small group, greet people with a smile, serve on the production team, or serve meals to the homeless, somehow you find a place in service of a goal greater than yourself. Make serving guest and others outside your community part of your culture.

7. Prioritize Kids and Teens. Parents can catch a podcast or watch online, but kids really miss out when parents miss. To be with their friends who are running in the same direction, and to have another voice (small group leader) who knows their name, favourite food and hopes and dreams saying the same thing a loving parent would say, is so far unreproducible in the online world. I believe that when the parents miss church, the kids are the biggest losers. The more you prioritize families, the more families will prioritize Sundays.

The shift in our culture is probably irreversible to some extent. But you have something unique to offer – online and offline.

What are you learning about shifts in attendance and the things that you can help people with offline and online?

It’s kind of a strange question, isn’t it?

You might have been longing for a fresh start in some area of your life for a while, like in your:

leadership

marriage

parenting

preaching

finances

character

friendships

devotional life

But here’s the weird part.

Many leaders I know are really hard on themselves.

The grace we readily extend to others is grace we rarely extend to ourselves.

And that shouldn’t be. In fact, it can be crippling.

Here’s what’s true:

Most of us long for people to do the right thing.

Most of us resist the change needed within ourselves to do the right (or better) thing.

Why?

Because we use what we’ve done wrong to condemn ourselves and convince ourselves that a new beginning isn’t possible.

We only think about what didn’t happen, rather than celebrate what did happen.

We focus on our shortcomings, not our potential.

We write ourselves off.

We focus on what we missed, not what we hit.

Don’t get me wrong – our mistakes provide valuable lessons. But they only serve to paralyze us unless used to propel us into a better, wiser future.

Tell me if this isn’t true:

Confession without repentance leads to self-pity.

Confession without confidence in God’s belief in your potential leads to despair.

So many people get stuck there, and some never make it out.

So today a simple, ask yourself:

Why won’t you just make the change you need to make and accept a fresh start?

Why don’t you just give yourself the fresh start you long to see others claim?

God is willing to give you a fresh start. I mean you know that. You preach that stuff, don’t you? And you believe it. If God isn’t about new beginnings, then what exactly is He about?

Other people are longing to give you a fresh start. You know this because there’s hardly a day that goes by where you don’t think “Why doesn’t he…” or “I really wish she would just…”. And you know that if they actually did bring about the change you’re longing to see in them, you’d be the first to celebrate. Not condemn. Not say I told you so. But just celebrate. You’d be leading the cheer.

So why do you hesitate to give yourself that same fresh start?

Here are three practical ways to get started:

Stop dwelling on what went wrong. Learn from it. And shift your focus to what could go right.

Trust that God has forgiven you. Note to file. Sometimes the things you refuse to forgive yourself over aren’t even sinful. Just move on. And if it is truly sinful, isn’t that what Jesus covered?

Allow yourself to stumble while you keep your eye on the future. I’ve never met a parent who doesn’t celebrate like crazy when a toddler is learning to take his first steps. No parent criticizes him when he stumbles and inevitably falls down. Because the parent knows what’s coming. And their child just got ten steps closer to it. What if God sees you this way?

So today…give yourself the fresh start you are oh so willing to give others.

Others are ready to extend it to you.

So is your Heavenly Father.

So why are you holding back?

If you’re a ministry leader, mostly what you think about this weekend is others.

The people coming to Good Friday services

The guests who will be at church on Easter Sunday

Your team and crew who served so hard this weekend while everyone else was ‘off’

Your family and all the people who will be through your home

Your spouse and kids (certainly not last and certainly not least)

But what about you?

One of the nasty secrets of church leadership is that leaders help other people celebrate the major holidays but in the process sometimes fail to celebrate it themselves.

When that happens repeatedly, major moments like Good Friday and Easter Sunday lose their meaning. They become about what Jesus did for others, and you lose the fact that He also did this for you.

It’s not just a personal relationship with others Christ wants, it’s a personal relationship with you.

And the shadow side of neglecting your soul on weekend like this is that, over time, the impact is cumulative.

A spiritually empty leader can’t grow a spiritually vibrant ministry.

You will never be able to lead people beyond where you yourself have gone.

So by all means serve others this weekend. We have six services this weekend and we’re launching a 40 Day spiritual journey on Easter Sunday. I’m all for that.

But don’t neglect your own soul.

God loves you. He really does.

That’s why you got into this in the first place, isn’t it?

Here are a few, simple ways you can engage your heart this weekend:

Put on a playlist that moves your spirit. I did this before the weekend services, and some of the songs moved me to tears.

Dig into the scriptures personally. I find Isaiah 53 moves me into incredible space when I think about the sacrifice of Jesus. You might have a few passages that move your core as well.

Pray beyond just ‘grace’ with your family. This can be awkward, but don’t settle for just the usual ‘grace’ at dinner – probe deeper and express your gratitude and longings to God.

Go for a walk. Or go for a hike or hit a coffee shop or take a bike ride or do something that gets you away from your usual and into a place where you naturally have time to think, breathe and reflect.

Spend 30 minutes in silence reflecting on God’s love for you. When was the last time you did this? Exactly.

So this weekend, let God’s love for people also be God’s love for you.

Regardless of whether it makes you a better leader (it will, trust me), it will help you experience the grace Christ longs for you to experience.

What helps you connect with God during a busy ministry season?