As leaders, it often feels like we’re asking people to give us something.  Time. Energy. Money. Ideas. And so much more.

Years ago I heard Andy Stanley say that before we ask something from people in terms of giving, we should do something for them.  I’ve never forgotten that, and it’s a shift in perspective that’s starting to invade so much of my thinking.

You can spend your life trying to get something from your kids, from your spouse, from your friends, from your faith, from your family, from your employees, from your volunteers, from your community, from your congregation.  But what are you doing for them?  What if you cared more about wanting something for them than wanting something from them?  See the shift?  I think it’s huge.

A great example came a few weeks ago from friends who are in real estate.  We’re on their mailing list, but instead of the typical “please use us and please give us business”, they instead sent a newsletter full of helpful tips on credit rating management.  They didn’t ask anything of their customer base.  They did something for us.  They added value.  They really want to see their clients and friends manage their money well, so they sent out practical tips.  With no expectation of anything in return.  And of course, that made me appreciate and respect them even more.

There are multiple ways this idea is impacting me:

• As a boss, I’m thinking far less less about what I can get from my co-workers and far more about what I can do for them.  Sometimes it’s material (how about some Starbucks?), but often it’s less tangible than that.  I just want them to be better off for because we worked together.  I’m looking for ways to help them professionally and personally.  I want to do as much to add value to our time together as I can. Whether it’s sharing insights, encouraging them in their personal journey, praying for them or offering some of my time to help them with their responsibilities.  It’s getting to the point where I don’t think they work for me; I think I work for them.

• As a friend, husband and father, life shows me again and again the best thing I can do in a relationship is to bring something to it, not simply try to get something out of it.  In fact, the more I try to get something out of it, the less healthy it becomes.  The more I give, ironically, the richer and more rewarding the relationship becomes.

• When leading any group that “follows” you (whether it’s a congregation, a crowd or even your Twitter/Facebook friends), the more you can do for them, the better it gets.  Share freely…point to the work of others…celebrate other people’s victories…mourn when they mourn.

This may not be news for you, but just being honest, many leaders are inherently selfish.  Maturity involves crawling out of that skin and putting on another one.

None of this should be a surprise because this is actually how God operates.  He didn’t really come to be served, but to serve.  And as much as God asks us for things from us, underneath that is a much deeper desire he has to see something positive happen for us.    It also shouldn’t be a surprise because some of the most draining people in our lives are the people who always want something from us and rarely do anything for us.

What are you learning in this area?  What are some of the best ways you’ve discovered to want something for others and to do something for others?

At some point this week, this month or this year, something good will come your way.  A promotion, an opportunity, an advancement, a raise, a new relationship, a new level of ‘success’.

What if every time something like that happened, you were to say to yourself: this is a trust.

Not “I deserved it”.  Not “I’ve always wanted this.”  Not “all that hard work finally paid off.”  Not “finally, I’m getting what’s coming to me.” Not even “wow this is cool” (okay, you can say that…just don’t stop there.)

What if instead, we just started saying “This is a trust.  I know he didn’t just give it to me for my benefit, he entrusted me with.  It’s a trust.”

What’s at stake is whether we believe that life and opportunities are about God, or whether we believe they are about us.  Our culture says they are about us.  But the scripture would say something different.

If you live like everything that comes your way is directed your way mainly for your benefit, you believe:

• This has come to me mostly for my benefit and the benefit of my family.
• I can use it any way I want.
• It doesn’t matter how I use it, because it’s mine.

If you view things as a trust, you believe:

• God likely didn’t give this to me solely for my benefit.
• I need to use it in the way that best honors God and others.
• It matters how I use it, because it’s not mine and I’m accountable.

I want to get into the habit of viewing all good things that come my way – every opportunity, reward, relationship, ability, advancement and gift – as a sacred trust.

How about you?  What do you believe about the good that comes your way?  How do you process it?  What helps you think this through?

Who do you admire?  I imagine that if you’re a preacher, you admire other preachers.  If you’re in kids ministry or student ministry, you’ve got a few leaders you follow. Graphic designers study and admire other graphic designers, musicians often follow other musicians. If you work in the marketplace, you admire other friends, colleagues or leaders in the field.

All of that is healthy.  To think there’s nothing to admire or learn from others is egotistical.

But sometimes admiring someone can lead you to want to be like them, or to be them, or – eek- even to be the next “them”.  Twitter, facebook, podcasts and this increasingly connected world make it so easy to watch someone else’s every move that I wonder whether some of us sometimes stop living our own lives and start living vicariously through others.

If you think that might be happening, here’s what to do: find a big red button and connect it to a loud buzzer and press repeatedly until you can’t stand it anymore and stop the behaviour.

Whenever I speak, write or lead, I feel the pressure to be better.  I listen to other speakers, watch other leaders and read other writers.  And once in a while I catch myself thinking “I wish I was __________” or “I wish I could be more like _________”.  This is when the stinkin’ loud buzzer should sound.  Right now.

Think about it…God will never hold you accountable for being someone he never created you to be.  He will not say “Carey, how come you weren’t more like Craig Groeschel or Andy Stanley?”  If God had wanted that, he would have made more Craig Groeschels and Andy Stanleys.   Good parents would never lay that pressure on their kids (“Hey, how come you’re not more like your friend Taylor?” – and those of you who had a parent who did that are wincing right now).  But sometimes we put that pressure on ourselves.

The only task before you (and me) is to take all the faith, talent, trust, ability and gifting God has given you and use it to be the best ‘you’ you can be.   God actually wants me to be more like Carey  - redeemed, forgiven and empowered Carey – but Carey still the same.  Ditto for you.

What will you be held accountable for?  Being ‘you’ in the context of the cross and tomb.  Nothing more. Nothing less.

So have the humility to learn from others, but then, go be you.  It’s the best gift you can give yourself, the best gift you can give God, and the best gift you can give the world.

My friend Chris Vacher has been spearheading an exciting project over the last year…a worship cd called Worship Rises.

It releases today on iTunes and I’d love for you to pick it up and, if you’re excited, tell your friends about it.  Chris is a great guy and awesome leader in the church.  He’s pulled together 32 worship pastors on this project (including Connexus’ own Andrew Walker)…the idea is to create music for the church by the church.

You can check out all the details on Chris’ blog.

I imagine you would expect in keeping with new blog disclosure policies that this is where I’m going to disclose that I was paid to blog about this.

Nope, I wasn’t.  I actually don’t have any personal stake in the project, although he did send me a few of the tracks from the EP for free last month. (But I don’t think that counts.)  I’m just telling you because I think Chris is a a great leader with a great idea.  Hope you enjoy it!

I’d love your input!  I’ve been invited to speak at a conference where the theme is “Game changer”.  I’ve been reflecting for a week now on some game-changers in my life…and I’m not sure what to choose.

There have been a few, but I really want to find one that resonates.

Sooo….

1. What’s been a game changer for you personally, spiritually, in ministry or in life?  What defining moment do you look back on and say “that pretty much changed everything?”
2. For those of you who know our ministry or me, what do you think a key game changer for us has been?  Sometimes the best person to judge that kind of thing is someone slightly outside an organization. So what do you think?
3. A third angle:  if you could pick any game changer to speak on, which one would you choose?

Love to hear your thoughts….over to you!

Need some encouragement to keep going in ministry?

A few times every year I see a passage that I swear someone added to the Bible since the last time I read it.  It just pops out…I just missed it before.  Had one of those experiences this morning.  I hope it encourages you.

From childhood we have watched
as everything our ancestors worked for—
their flocks and herds, their sons and daughters—
was squandered on a delusion. – Jeremiah 3:24

It’s as clear a picture  as any of what happens when people live life without God at the center – everything we work toward ends up squandered on a delusion.   Wow.  (You might read the whole chapter.  It’s fascinating.)

I’m not saying God might not be calling you out of ministry (that does happen), I’m just saying if you are called, keep at it.  Giving up your Sundays year after year is worth it.  That criticism you took for a wise decision you made was worth it.  Overcoming your sadness and pushing through was worth it.  The extra prayer and extra sacrifice financially was worth it.  That relational risk you took inviting your friend to church was worth it.   That extra static that seems to visit your home because you’re in ministry is worth it.

Because everything else is well, a delusion in the end.  Christ is who it’s all about.

One day we’ll all look back and wonder why we ever thought it wasn’t worth it.  But in the meantime, we need to remind each other it is.

It is.  It’s worth it.  Keep going.  The mission is not in vain.

Some insightful discussion last week around this question: where are the great leaders in this generation of church?  What’s keeping the next generation of leaders from using their gifts in ministry?

So if the best and brightest of the current and next generation aren’t bring their gifts into full time ministry, why not?  Here are some initial thoughts.  I’d love yours:

• Not enough risk.  Face it, the church is often not known for blazing trails.  In an era when the iPhone 4 is a huge story, clearly we need a better plot line (and yes, I’ll be getting an iPhone 4 this month like lots of other Canadians).  When the marketplace is leading the way, the church needs to create a better story.  We have the most powerful story, after all, at the center of our faith. The church is known for boring and timid.  We need to get known for being radical.  Talent gravitates toward the most compelling plot line.
• The wrong kind of scandal. Sadly, when the church is not boring, we often embrace the wrong kind of scandal.  When headlines spring from moral failure, emotional manipulation and eye-rolling born of intellectual simplicity, we really resist attracting intelligent people.
• An absence of power. Sometimes I wonder if the church suffers from a divine power failure.  In some churches, things are slow and traditional enough that you don’t need God – a semi-retired bureaucrat could run things.  In others, we claim power, but the power is just smart leadership or semi-charismatic emotionalism…is it really of God?  Of course in some places it is, but maybe there are just not enough churches like that. What would happen if God really started to move in people’s lives – not just in some churches – but in the church? Would people come running?
• Underchallenged leaders. Numerous people manage, lead, and care for huge numbers of people and major responsibilities each week, only to show up at church and be asked to wash dishes or park a car.  Don’t get me wrong – parking cars and washing dishes are awesome ways to serve.  But when that’s all we ask people to do – the church misses out.  What if people were asked to bring their best thinking to the Kingdom, not their leftover thinking – or not being asked to think at all?
• Overwork. I resonate with the comment that we’ve worked ourselves to death in this generation of church (kinda guilty of it myself – I’ll preach about it in August).  The other side of the coin is this though – some in ministry are just plain lazy. So which is it?   But what if ministry became a place where human energy combined with divine energy to produce fruit no one could claim credit for?  What if the answer was not just more of our power – but more of God’s power? The market place can’t compete with that.

What if we risked more – took the right kind of risks?  What if we tapped more into God’s heart and power and really saw the church explode with that?

Do these things keep people with great gifts for ministry from doing ministry?  What else do you see?

Where are the great leaders in this generation of church?

I’m not talking about the handful we twitter about, follow, admire or whose books we read and conferences we attend.  I’m talking about what happened to great leaders leading in churches in every province, state, city, town and even village?

Maybe it’s just nostalgia, but it seems to me there was a day when the best and the brightest got into ministry.  When leadership in the kingdom was serious work and people with true hearts and skillful hands were regularly in leadership.

I’m pretty sure a lot of the smartest and most capable teens and college students sitting in church today (if they are in church at all) are not even seriously toying with ministry.  They’re going elsewhere.  And, sadly, sometimes people who might not have the gifting and perhaps only think they have the calling end up leading ministries.  (I know you’re wincing…so am I…I’m just sayin’.)

Is there a dearth of great leadership in the church? Do we live in an age when the most gifted leaders using their God-given talents to help corporations make better sugar water, squeeze out a better bottom line,  make music, create art or spawn design that in the end, helps people buy new mini-vans or ends up as just another voice in pop-culture?

What would need to be true to get our best, brightest, and most gifted people who also have authentic hearts and solid character moving into ministry?  Yes, I know….I’ve read 1 Corinthians 1 and I know God chooses the weak of the world…but the Apostle Paul brought an incredible mind, heart and skill to ministry that led to the explosion of the early church.  Moses was no sap either. God will surprise us and use people we never expected to do great things…but being a capable leader and having a supple heart are not mutually exclusive.

I’ll come back with some ideas in a few days, but in the meantime…What do you think?  Are we seeing the best head into leadership?  If not, why not?  And what would you do about it?

If a lot of us preachers treated Mother’s Day the way we treat Father’s Day, we’d get fired.

On Father’s Day, we often say “Dads, time to get your act together…step up…accept responsibility…be a leader…we expect it, and you’re not measuring up.”

Try that on Mother’s Day.  Exactly.

I’m not saying we should be hard on our moms (not at all), I’m just asking why we think the best way to challenge a man is to beat him up.  That’s all.

What would happen if we encouraged dads?  What if we celebrated each time a man took a step toward where God wanted to be?  What if the church was a place where men felt encouraged and empowered?  I’m not saying we don’t need an occasional swift kick…I’m just saying maybe it’s a good idea to stop once in a while and celebrate the good.   We need to be called, but when we’ve answered, it might be great to come alongside and say “good job”.

Maybe men don’t want to go to church because men tend to gravitate toward where they are respected.  Maybe it’s time to encourage the family rather than criticize parents and spouses who have heard enough criticism already.

Happy Father’s Day guys…and thanks for taking steps in the direction God is encouraging you to run.   It may not feel like you’re making progress, but God sees all, and there are more than a few of us who are cheering for you!

In 2011, more than half of all of Apple’s revenue will come from products that did not exist four years ago.

That’s impressive.

What amazes me about Apple is how it produces products that dazzle many of us over and over again.  When I picked up my iPhone 3Gs last summer I thought – I don’t know how the phone could get any better.  But Apple wasn’t thinking that at all…they were already working on the iPhone4 (and likely now are reimagining far beyond that).  iPad lovers – be sure the iPad2 is already in development.

What generates innovation?  The threat of decline and extinction can. Dying organizations often try to innovate…but frequently they fail.  Why?  Because a desperate grasping at straws rarely works.  Secondly, a dying organization’s goal is often self-preservation.  It isn’t truly about innovating or doing something that benefits others.

How do you create a culture where innovation thrives, where no one is satisfied with the status quo?   I love these four principles Mark Federman outlines:

See what isn’t there. • Think what no one else can think. • Do what no one else dares to do. • Multiply your mind by giving it away.

To do that,  you need to create a culture of risk and make failure a distinct possibility.  Many people realize without risk there is no reward.  But fewer of us are fans of the truth that with risk comes the distinct possibility of failure.   You risk potential failure in at least two ways when you innovate:

• You risk failure publicly – the general consensus when the iPad was announced was that it was a dumb idea.  Critics called it big iPhone that doesn’t fit in your pocket or make calls.  But selling 2 million units in less than 60 days shut many of them up.
• You embrace failure privately – the public only sees the ideas that get legs.  We can only imagine how many other ideas at Apple got tested and  knocked down before the iPad or iPhone emerged out of the mix.  To truly innovate, you need to embrace a multitude of ideas that don’t work before you find the one that might.

I know as the leader of an organization I can be tempted to thwart creativity in favour of what’s working.  Bad idea.  So this summer, we’re adding a question to our mid-year and year-end reviews of our staff:  What did you try this year so far that failed? If the employee can’t name something, we’re going to ask them to risk more. You never get to true innovation without failure.

It’s hard to actually live on that edge.  But you need to do it if you’re going to see what isn’t there, think what no one else can think and do what no one else dares to do.  It also means you need to start celebrating purposeful failure when it happens.

At the end of the day, Apple’s only about iPhones and other cool things, but many of us have been entrusted with the kingdom of God.  I live in a community where 93% of the population won’t be in church this weekend.  When it comes to reaching families, we can do so much better. I think the church should be leading innovation.  We don’t need to change the message.  We just need to get so much better at living and sharing it.  Sometimes I think if the church ran Apple, we’d still be trying to build momentum around the first generation iPod we designed over ten years ago…watching the declining market share and blaming consumers for not being as excited as they were about them a decade ago.  We wouldn’t have produced any new ideas in the last decade…we’d just have one approach we were counting on to work forever.  That’s not innovation.

What do you do that helps you stay innovative?  How well do you embrace failure as a possibility?  What are some of the barriers you see to becoming more innovative?