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The #1 Way Your Gifting Can Hurt You

carey nieuwhof

We’re all gifted at something.

Sometimes in the name of false modesty we pretend we’re not really that gifted. But that’s just not true.

You’re gifted at something:

Communication

Leadership

Mercy

Serving

Discernment

Music

Encouragement

Giving

And besides, it’s always good to remember that our gifting says as much about the Giver as it does about the recipient; your gifting is a reflect of God’s handiwork.

You would think a gift could only help you. But that’s not necessarily true.

It can actually hurt you.

So how does that happen?

Here’s how:

Keep reading this post…

How to Get Alignment, Agreement & Consensus Around Change

How to Get Alignment, Agreement and Consensus around Change

My guess is that, whatever you lead, you

Want to lead an aligned organization

See as much agreement in your organization as you can

Find and cultivate consensus

Let me go out on a limb here and guess that it’s been a struggle.

Aligning people around a common mission, vision and strategy is hard work. 

Getting people to agree is difficult.

And finding consensus can sometimes seem impossible. 

I get that. I’ve been there.

The trap I’ve seen so many leaders fall into is that they approach alignment, agreement and consensus backwards.

Many (if not most) leaders try to get:

Consensus first.

Agreement second.

Alignment third.

I’ve tried that too.

The problem with that approach is it almost never works. In fact, it’s backwards.

When you figure out the right order, it can change how you lead forever, and help everyone involved.

If you miss it, it can leave you and everyone you lead floundering.

Consider this: when the automobile was first invented, almost nobody saw how big the car would become. The Literary Digest wrote:

“The ordinary “horseless carriage” is at present a luxury for the wealthy; and although its price will probably fall in the future, it will never, of course, come into as common use as the bicycle.”

Consensus about the car developed after the car was introduced. Not before.

The application to your situation is direct.

So let’s get at it.

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Hey Leaders: Loneliness is a Choice

Loneliness is a Choice

I’ve said it. You might have said it too.

Leadership is lonely.

For all my time since graduating university, I’ve been a senior leader. It sounds more glamourous than it is.

When I started, all three churches I served had a total attendance of less than 50 people; I was the senior leader because I was the only paid leader. But as our ministry has grown, I’m leading more people than I’ve ever led. And with over a dozen staff and 1500 people who call our church home, I find myself something thinking that leadership is lonely.

Ever said these things as a leader?

Nobody understand what this leadership load is like.

People don’t really care how I feel.

It’s lonely at the top.

Leadership is just lonely.

I have. And I began to accept loneliness as part of the job.

Sure, I know I things happened along the way:

Early on in ministry I got ‘peopled out’ – I got worn down by the constant demands on my time.

My time in leadership has actually seen me move from a moderate extrovert to a moderate introvert in my personality type.

I’ve had to struggle hard to keep my heart fresh and to keep cynicism from overtaking me (see these posts for five early warning signs of a hard heart and ways to avoid becoming cynical).

I’ve also begun to realize that being lonely is a terrible way to live.

Sure, we come by it honestly.

Doing things alone is part of our culture. Ever think through High Occupancy Vehicle lanes?

Two people in a car passes as ‘high occupancy’ in our culture. Over 9 out of 10 people drive alone!!

People might live that way.

But you don’t have to lead that way.

Keep reading this post…

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