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hidden factors

9 Hidden Factors That Influence Your Leadership More Than You Think

So you’ve noticed something.

Your ability to lead well seems to fluctuate.

Some days (and seasons) you seem to be in top shape. You have energy and enthusiasm, a clear mind and your decision making is sharp.

But on other days (and in other seasons) you’re sluggish, fuzzy or so burdened down you feel like you can’t lead anything well.

What gives?

What I’ve learned in leadership is that on most days, there are hidden factors at work. These hidden factors can make you excel, or they can completely work against you.

Knowing what’s at work in the background can be tremendously liberating. Once you realize what’s helping or hurting you, you can deal with it.

So what hidden factors threaten to make or break you as a leader?

Here are 9 I’ve identified at work in my leadership. You’ll notice many have to do with a leader’s mind, while a few are more physical.

It should be no surprise so many of the factors are in your mind. Leadership, after all, is a mind game.

Work at the mental aspect of leadership and you’ll discover what many leaders have discovered: changing your mind can change everything.

hidden factors1. The weight of leadership

Anyone who has led anything remotely significant is familiar with the weight of leadership.

The weight of leadership is the sense of responsibility you carry that goes with your job.

The problem is it never turns off easily.

It follows you home. It accompanies you to bed. It travels with you on vacation.

It’s hard to shake the weight of leadership. You feel it because you are the leader, and you’re likely the leader because you’re the kind of person who feels it.

So what can help lift the weight of leadership? A few things:

Naming it

Doing something fun (the power of distraction)

Prayer

Talking to a friend or mentor who understands

When it’s appropriate, the weight of leadership can spur you toward leading better.  But when it crushes you, all of the benefits of feeling responsible for what you lead disappear.

2. Pace

Many leaders run hard. But you can only run so hard so long.

For many of you, it’s been too long.

Any leader can run hard for a season, but even if you avoid burnout, eventually it becomes counterproductive to run hard all the time.

Why?

Your mood tanks. Your fatigue rises. Your productivity drops.

And—bottom line—it’s unsustainable.

Smart leaders ask themselves: Am I living in a way today that will help me thrive tomorrow? If not, why not?

3. Lack of sleep

I’ve written about sleep before, and I’ve become a sleep evangelist of sorts over the last decade. (Here’s why sleep is a leader’s secret weapon in my view.)

Frankly, my conversion was involuntary. I used to pride myself on how little sleep I got. Now, most days, I unapologetically nap during the day and generally get 6-8 hours every night.

The truth is, before I started taking sleep seriously, I was awake, but I was a zombie. And despite being awake more hours, I wasn’t nearly as productive as I am today.

To say I’ve been 10x more productive since I started taking sleep seriously is probably not an exaggeration. I wanted to write a book all through my 30s. Never got a manuscript done.

I’ve written 3 in the last 6 years. Plus launched this blog, and a podcast, started speaking at conferences more often, and worked full time on top of that.

I find when I cheat sleep now, it feels like my world comes crashing down. If I can call an audible and simply admit “Man, I’m tired” and get some rest, things come back into alignment surprisingly fast.

Not convinced being rested is a key component to great leadership? Gary Vaynerchuck and Arianna Huffington have a fascinating conversation about the necessity of sleep for leaders here.

4. The amount of time since your last break

Leaders are often famous for taking little time off.

Like missing sleep, you make a mistake when you don’t make the time to recharge.

I’ve discovered over the years that if I am going to operate at my peak, I need a break or a diversion every 6-8 weeks, if even for a day. An extra day off, a short trip or something that can refuel me (even if it’s somewhat work related) is often really restorative.

The longer it’s been since your last break, the longer it will take for you to feel truly great again. So take a break.

5. What’s happening at home

Too often leaders think they can separate what happens at work from what happens at home.

Leading poorly at home always impacts how you lead at work. Just like you carry the weight of leadership around with you wherever you go, you also carry the weight of a bad marriage or a fractured family with you wherever you go.

If you win at work but lose at home, you’ve lost.

6. Constant connectivity

You can leave work, but thanks to your phone, work never leaves you.

I’m a connected guy, but even I found the constant buzzing of my phone to be too much.

Last year I turned off all notifications on my phone except for phone calls and text messages. And I’m selective about giving out my cell number.

I no longer feel my phone vibrate every time someone emails me, tweets me, likes a pic on Instagram or interacts on Facebook or Snapchat.

This isn’t just a tip for home; it helps at work too. It’s very hard to do any thinking if your phone is buzzing every minute, which for a season of my life it was.

Another change I made last year: sleeping with my phone in another room, turned off. Yep, I know that’s radical. I use an old school alarm clock to wake me up. Most of the time, I’ve slept so well I wake up before the alarm. Imagine that.

7. Your spiritual state

As a Christian, I believe everything starts and ends with God.

Your ability to give love is directly related to how deeply you receive love. Your ability to love is like a bank account: you can only withdraw what has been deposited. Make too many withdrawals, and you go bankrupt.

As you know, leadership is a series of withdrawals. So you better make some deposits.

There is no greater source of love than God.

So…

If you want to love the people you lead, it starts with God.

If you want wisdom, it comes from God.

If you want to exude grace, that also comes from God.

When you sever a limb from the tree, it’s only a matter of time until it withers.

8. Nutrition

Almost all food is brain food. Not all of it is good, but all of it affects your brain.

And if you’re paid to think (like many who read this blog are), your nutrition is critical.

Skipping meals, loading up on sugar and otherwise eating poorly impacts everything from your energy level to your blood sugar levels to your ability to think clearly.

I know for me, eating well is essential. Sometimes when I’m getting upset or angry, I realize it’s likely due to the fact I haven’t eaten or I’ve eaten poorly.

9. Change of venue

I realized a long time ago that I am deeply impacted by two things:

Choice of venue

Being in a single venue for too long

Sometimes, you simply have to step away from the screen, get out of the office and change the scenery.

In fact, I find my best ideas come to me when I’m not behind a computer screen or I’m within the first hour of a fresh venue.

Ideas I love often come to me when I’m cycling, doing yard work, in a fresh place (or favourite place that isn’t an office), or doing anything that doesn’t require me to sit behind a screen and write.

As a result, I have 3 or 4 ‘offices’ I use regularly, ranging from space at our church to a home office to the back porch to our living room.

Sometimes all I need to do to get fresh perspective is change venues.

What Do You Think?

These are 9 largely silent factors that impact my leadership.

What are you discovering? What helps you be at your best? What hinders you from doing your best?

Scroll down and leave a comment.

Matt-Chewning

CNLP 094: Matt Chewning on Planting a Church From Scratch…in Boston

Of all the things Boston is known for, being kind to church planters is one NOT of them.

But Matt Chewning heard a call, left a career in corporate America and started Netcast Church. Matt shares the ins and outs of how his church has become one of the fastest growing churches in New England.

Welcome to Episode 94 of the Podcast.

Matt-Chewning

Guest Links: Matt Chewning

Netcast Church

Netcast Church on Instagram

Netcast Church on Twitter

Matt Chewning on Twitter

Links Mentioned

eaHelp

Bryan Miles; Episode 45

Sarah Piercy; Episode 90

William Vanderbloemen; Episode 19

Search: The Pastoral Search Committee Handbook

Josh Gagnon; Episode 61

3 Things You Can Do Right Away

Planting a church can be messy, so when Matt heard from God to start a church in Boston, he had to rely on faith while taking a direct, unorthodox approach. He kept an open mind knowing he wanted to create something unique, authentic and balanced. Here’s what he did to get started:

  1. Meet with people. Matt wanted to meet with as many people as he could so he learn their context personally. You can’t just open a book or do research online to learn the demographics of the area you want to serve. It’s essential that you put yourself out there. Matt jumped into Facebook groups and offered to buy coffee for those who would sit down and talk to him. He said he was doing a project and wanted to know three things from people: What they believed, why they believe it and how it affects the way they live.
  2. Leverage social media. Matt had a team who went into the community and asked people what their hang-ups were about Christianity. He then produced 2-3 minute videos with responses that he shared in community Facebook groups. As word spread, people started showing up for services.
  3. Commit to a relationship. When you speak the gospel, you speak to people universally, and you want to communicate those principals to those in your church and those new to your service. But what happens after someone visits for the first time? Matt has a system of calls-to-action in place to ensure that an authentic relationship is formed and that person continues to feels welcomed.

 

 The Lasting Impact Team Edition

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The team edition is a compilation of eight videos designed to allow the teams in your church follow along as a supplement to the book. I highlight key points from the material and discuss additional hot topics that relate to your ministry.

Get your copy of Lasting Impact today! 

Lasting Impact frames 7 pivotal conversations every church team needs to have, covering subjects like declining church attendance, team health, creating a culture volunteers love and how to engineer changes in your church.

Order on Amazon, or visit LastingImpactBook.com! The video team edition, featuring 8 videos where I teach through the key concepts in the book, is available now as well!

Quotes from this Episode

 

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Next Episode: Rusty George

Rusty George didn’t plant Real Life Church, but he saw it grow from a small gathering in a movie theater to a multisite church of over 5000 attenders.

Rusty talks openly and honestly about the highs and lows of growth, staffing, change and raising money to fund a vision to reach unchurched people.

Subscribe for free now, and you won’t miss Episode 95.

people leave your church

5 Surprising Reasons People Leave Your Church

In a perfect world, you wish everyone who comes to your church would stay forever.

I get that. I share that desire too.

But the reality is that on this side of heaven people come and go, not just in church, but everywhere.

Think about it: you’ve switched gyms and supermarkets. You’ve bought and sold cars and homes. You’ve even switched jobs. And no, the church is not a commodity, but the law of averages tells you a certain percentage of people inevitably come and go.

Usually, when people leave a church, it’s because there’s a problem, a disagreement or a conflict of some kind.

But I’ve also come to realize people leave churches when things are going well.

As surprising as this sounds, every time you make progress as a church, you’ll lose people.

This comes as a shock to most leaders. And it can be very disheartening, especially if you don’t realize some loss even in great seasons is ‘normal’.

While I don’t have hard data to back these 5 reasons people leave your church, I do have more than a few conversations with leaders from great churches who still experience exits when things are going well. And all 5 reasons listed below are trends I have seen personally where I serve.

So why do people leave even when you’re making progress at your church?

Simple. The people who are at your church today are there because they like it the way it is.

Change that (even for the better), and some will leave.

It will shock you. It will disappoint you. It will leave you scratching your head. And it’s unavoidable. But you need to keep moving or else you’ll be paralyzed by focusing on who you want to keep, not who you want to reach.

So when do people leave when things are going well?

Here are 5 surprising moments that trigger exits when no one is expecting it:

people leave your church

1. A move into a new building

So many people think a move into a new building is a positive step that will only cause growth.

For a church that has momentum, that’s almost universally true. (Although a move into a building will not cause a declining church to grow…I explain why here.)

But even when things are going well, you will lose people.

Some people will love the portable days even better. Some won’t like the new location. Others may not like the design. Others may feel displaced.

For some people, there’s also a sentimental association with past places of worship as well. Maybe the sentiment is because they became Christians there, were baptized there, or even got married there.

For sure, that’s understandable. Most people get past the sentiment, but some don’t. And they’ll leave.

The church has to keep moving though…advancing the mission. After all, you cannot build a future by living in the past.

2. You’ve hired a new senior leader

Naturally, some people leave when you hire a new senior leader—a senior pastor, campus pastor or teaching pastor.

But what’s surprising is some people leave even when you hire a GREAT new senior leader.

People have their own reasons for liking the old better than the new, even when it comes to people.

Often the reasons are personal or preferential, not missional. They liked the only senior leader better, or felt a personal connection with him or her, or even had a friendship with him or her.

Even though a great new leader will lead a congregation into an exciting future, there’s always a small group that will not want to come for the ride.

3. You’ve added new staff

So it should be no surprise that when the leader changes, so does the team—the other staff and many of the key volunteers.

Why does this happen so often?

I learned something a while ago in leadership:

Leaders often behave missionally. Most people behave relationally.

What do I mean by that?

Well, often as a leader, you think and act in terms of the mission.

Most people don’t think or act according to the mission; instead they behave relationally.

So when a new staff member steps in and people sense “oh, this isn’t how it used to be,” they move on.

In the case of new staff (not senior staff…but associate staff), the good news is most people won’t leave the church—they’ll just leave their ministry area for a new ministry area.

I used to be surprised by this trend and often upset by it. Now I just realize that if we appoint a new leader, within a year many people on that leader’s team will change. Again, if the overall situation is healthy, they’ll relocate within other ministries. If it’s less healthy,  people will leave outright.

4. You’ve stopped some old programs

Effective leaders don’t just start things, they also stop things.

They realize good is the enemy of great (as Jim Collins said), and they are willing to cut good things to make way for great things. They certainly don’t hesitate to cut what is ineffective.

Yet it often comes as a surprise that people leave when their program gets cut, even if it gets cut ‘well’ and with sensitivity.

The reason people leave in circumstances like this is because for many people, what they’re involved in becomes the mission. If they run a Tuesday morning coffee club (even an ineffective one), their relationships within that club run deep and perhaps even their identity is caught up in leading that club.

Change that, and they’re left floundering.

Again, healthier people will realize the mission is bigger than them and they will adjust and find a new place.

Others won’t. They’ll leave. Even if the church as a whole is getting better at accomplishing its mission.

5. You announce an exciting new initiative

So let’s say your church announces a new initiative to reach more people, be more effective in the community or even add a location or ministry.

As a leader, you’re pumped. As pumped as you’ve ever been.

Guess what? Some people won’t want to go with you.

There will still be a tiny minority that likes your church just the way it is.

They don’t want it to get bigger. They don’t want it to get better.

They just want it to stay the same.

As exciting as the future is, some people prefer the present. Others live in the past. 

That’s just life. 

How Do You Manage This Tension?

All of this can leave you feeling discouraged unless you realize one core truth.

As a leader, you need to choose your focus. As my friend Reggie Joiner says, you need to decide whether you will focus on who you want to reach, or who you want to keep.

If you think about it, deciding to focus on who you want to reach is the better choice. Some people are un-pleasable, and deciding to please the un-pleasable is an exercise in futility. (In fact, here are 7 kinds of people no church leader can afford to keep.)

But even if the handful of people who might leave aren’t unappeasable, the people you need to reach are far greater in number than those you’re trying to keep.

The people you might lose always have other churches they can go to.

The unchurched people you will reach by changing…don’t.

Don’t burn bridges with those leaving (be gracious…thank them for their time with you), but don’t sacrifice the mission for the sake of a handful of people who don’t like the future.

The challenge, of course, is to reach more people than you lose, and to keep unnecessary to a minimum.

Any Thoughts?

I hope this post comes as encouragement to you. Just know if despite your best efforts, you still see a small group walk out the door, you’re not alone.

Keep making progress. Keep leading. Keep pursuing your mission.

If you’re leading well, who you reach will be greater than who you lose, even if in some moments it doesn’t seem that way.

What’s your experience with this?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

ripping off other preachers

Why You Should Stop Ripping Off Other Preachers (The Led Zeppelin Scenario)

Ever get jealous of a line or idea that another preacher or communicator came up with you wish you had thought of?

Me too.

It’s tempting to think of stealing it and to hope no one notices you didn’t think of it.

Well, all I can say is we preachers ought to be thankful that we don’t face the kind of lawsuits Led Zeppelin did recently accusing them of stealing the introductory riff from Stairway to Heaven off a lesser known band.

The jury found there wasn’t enough evidence to show Led Zeppelin borrowed the introduction for its mega-hit from a song called Taurus by L.A. band Spirit.

So, good for Led Zeppelin. Other bands have not been so lucky. And whether you’re vindicated or not, any band sued racks up tens of thousands of dollars in legal costs to prove your innocence.

The Led Zeppelin case reminds me that plagiarism (stealing someone else’s work and passing it off as your own) is a serious offence.

Ever wonder what would happen if preachers were held to a similar standard?

With the proliferation of podcasts, free sermon downloads and constant connectivity that describes our era, plagiarism in the church may be at an all-time high.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard lesser-known preachers steal other preachers key ideas and pass them off as their own—with no attribution.

In law, that’s technically a crime.

Now before you go all 1 Corinthians 6 on me and tell me that Christians should not sue one another (I agree), or point out there’s nothing new under the sun or that we’re all in this together, hear me out: I’m with you.

But just because we’re all part of the same Kingdom doesn’t mean we should go ripping each other off and claiming a thought was our idea.

I propose a rule for preachers that goes something like this:

Write your own stuff. And if you didn’t, tell people you didn’t.

That’s it.

Because if you don’t, there are at least five things you’re messing up as a leader.

shutterstock_273018893So what can I borrow?

There’s actually nothing morally wrong with borrowing other people’s great ideas.

But be honest and tell people you didn’t think of it yourself.

If you don’t think this is an epidemic, please know I’m not even close to being the most well-known preacher on the planet, nor the best-known writer. But my team has found other preachers preaching our local series verbatim, with no permission and zero attribution. Even the jokes were re-used. (Note, we happily share our message series with churches that ask. This particular guy didn’t ask.)

Ditto with my blog. My team has found other bloggers who have taken my content, pasted it word for word into their blog, and written their name above the post as the author. (We’ve asked them to take it down.)

So what’s the problem with idea-theft, sermon-theft or writing-theft? Well, clearly it’s not financial. Few of us stand to make millions (or even hundreds) off of having original message or blog ideas. It’s a free economy that way. And we ARE in this together.

But here are 5 things that are simply wrong about plagiarism:

1. You want people to think you’re smarter than you actually are

Let’s be honest…the real reason we borrow other people’s ideas and make them appear to be ours is so it makes us look smarter than we are.

Don’t think you can give credit and still seem smart?

Just listen to Tim Keller. In virtually every message, Keller references a book he’s read or a thinker he’s borrowing from. He does this regularly and generously.

And guess what? Keller’s one of the sharpest thinker’s alive today. Also one of the smartest.

Quoting other leaders doesn’t make you seem dumb. It actually makes you look smart.

It’s evidence you’ve read more than a few tweets, and that you’ve dug deep into the heart of history or current events. It’s a sign you’re not lazy.

Ripping people off is lazy. Learning from other authors and thinkers isn’t.

2. You lie

Lying is an integrity issue.

People assume when a speaker, artist or writer shares something, it’s their take on an issue.

I know of several pastors who have been fired by their board for stealing sermons they claimed were their own.

One literally downloaded another pastor’s messages every week and preached them verbatim. Another borrowed different sermons from different sources but never attributed them.

Their boards fired them. Bravo, boards.

If you steal money, you get fired. If you steal ideas, maybe you should be fired too.

3. You stop growing

Of all the leaders and communicators who have their ideas ripped off, Andy Stanley is likely top of the list. He’s one of the most quoted leaders alive today in the Western church, and for good reason. He’s brilliant.

I had a chance to talk with Andy on my Leadership Podcast and I asked him about how he felt about others ‘stealing’ his material and ideas. I loved his answer (you can listen to the episode here or on iTunes—Episode 1).

Andy said—so accurately—that preachers who preach other people’s messages forfeit the growth that comes with preparing a message from scratch. They miss the angst, the frustration and the tremendous reward that comes from wrestling down ideas until they come out in a powerful and helpful way.

Andy’s so right. Preachers, when you start stealing, you stop growing.

You also lose your own voice. If you’re like me, you may not be the biggest fan of your own voice, but it’s a voice God gave you and that God loves.

Further, if you’re simply a copycat, my suspicion is a younger audience will eventually tune you out. Why? Because Millennials can smell a lack of authenticity a mile away.

You may not be quite as clever or articulate as your favourite preacher, but you’re real. And real resonates.

But wait, you say, can’t you buy Andy’s sermons so you can reteach them at your church? Can’t you download Craig Groeschel’s messages and reteach them at your church? Both legally?

Yes, you can.

There can be strategic purposes for doing so. But when you do, give credit. Don’t lose the edge you gain by wrestling through your own ideas, your own reading of God’s word, and finding your own voice on a regular basis.

4. You lose touch with God

When you plagiarize, you lose touch with God in at least two significant ways.

First, the sins of lying and stealing are themselves a barrier. Confession stands between you and God.

Second, stealing ideas required zero reliance on the Holy Spirit for inspiration, direction, courage or insights.

Ironically, in trying to make your content better, you’ve made it worse. You’ve robbed it of its true power. The real power in preaching comes not from our words, but from what God does with our words.

Do the hard work. You and everyone around you will be better for it.

5. It creeps into other areas of your life

I don’t know for sure, but I think it’s generally true that when you compromise in one area of your life, it doesn’t take much to start compromising in other areas.

Sin is like a weed; it grows fast and you never have to water it.

The best way to tackle sin is to pull it out by its root, before it creeps into other areas of your life.

So what do I do?

What should you do in a hyper-connected era when you and I are exposed to more ideas in a day than our grandparents were in a month or year?

First, use other peoples’ ideas generously. Just give credit where credit is due. Quote. Attribute. Link back.

That covers most of us.

But what about those preachers who realize they’re guilty of knowingly stealing entire messages or lines of thinking and passing it off as theirs..and no one has confronted them on it (yet)?

I would strongly encourage anyone in this category to come clean. Talk to your board. Explain what’s been happening, and tell them you want to stop. See a counselor if you need to (there’s something inside that drove you there in the first place), and start writing fresh.

Want to develop as a preacher?

Here are some free resources you can use to become a better communicator. I share the process I use for preparing messages in this 5 part blog series.

I have also learned so much about message preparation, delivery and communication best practices from Preaching Rocket (affiliate link).

Preaching Rocket can help you get started preaching from scratch. Or, even if you’ve been at communication for years like I have, it can help you grow.

You can sign up for a 7 day free Preaching Rocket trial here.

What do you think?

Am I being too hard on us as communicators? What’s been your experience?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

wrong motives

5 Wrong Motives for Church Growth

So you want your church to grow. Wonderful.

Here’s a challenging question: why?

Your motivation for wanting your church to grow is important for several reasons.

First, it’s the church. It’s not your church, it’s God’s. And one day you’ll give an account to God for what you did with what he entrusted you and why you did it.

Second, ultimately, I think people can tell. Eventually, people can tell whether you care about them or whether you’re using them.

Third, it’s an integrity issue. Integrity ultimately determines whether what you build stands, in the same way that a house with structural integrity will stand over the years.

Wanting your church to grow isn’t a bad thing. Passion for the mission means passion for growth. And the purest motive in leadership will be simply that you want people to come to know the love, forgiveness and fullness of life in Jesus Christ.

Yet not everyone wants their church to grow for noble reasons.

How do you know where you stand? Here are 5 false motives to watch for.

Just because you struggle with them doesn’t mean you’ll succumb to them. But if you recognize them for what they are, you can identify them, confess them, and kill them before they ruin a good thing.

wrong motives1. Pride

Is pride driving your desire to see your church grow? That can be tough to answer accurately.

Pride is like greed; it rarely shows itself in the mirror.

How would you know if pride is driving your desire to grow? Just watch what happens when you grow or don’t grow. As Tim Keller says, if growth has become an idol to you, success will go to your head and failure will go to your heart.

Proud leaders do great as long as everything is moving up and to the right, but if things turn, they almost can’t stand the outcome because it crushes them.

A humble leader can lead in time of failure, stagnation and in times of success.

Humility separates what you do from who you are. Pride never does.

2. Competition

Some leaders want their church to grow because they need to be the best—to be the brightest, fastest or on top.

There’s a world of difference between wanting to do your best and wanting to be the best.

Competition is an inferior motive for growth not just because it’s linked to pride, but because it diminishes the contribution of all others as ‘inferior’. Leaders who always want to be first usually take delight in the fact that others are second.

And that stinks. Especially for a Christian.

Competitive leaders feel they have to be the best.

Healthy leaders simply want to do their best. (Sometimes, that even lands them at Number One.)

3. Insecurity

Sometimes insecure people want their church or organization to grow because it makes them feel better about themselves.

Insecurity and pride are closely linked. Why? Insecurity can lead to an obsession with self the same way narcissism can. The insecure person thinks about themselves constantly and will use others to make them feel better, which of course, is always a mistake.

Pride, competition and insecurity should drive you to God (and perhaps to a Christian counsellor), not to more.

Insecurity can lead to an obsession with self the same way narcissism can.

4. Organizational preservation

Too many churches want to grow simply so they can stay afloat.

You’ve heard it more often than anyone would like to admit:

We need some people to help pay the bills

We just need more butts in the seats if this is going to work

We are so short on volunteers, we really need to get some new people in the doors

People who join your church will soon see that you value them for what they can do, not for who they are. As a result, they don’t stick.

Cruel as it sounds, churches that want to grow simply to keep themselves alive probably should die. They’ve lost the mission.

5. Because you simply want to grow

Other churches don’t need to grow to stay afloat, but instead, they want to grow simply because, well, they want to grow.

The logic goes like this: Healthy things grow, right?

So we should add a campus, or add a service or embark on a building campaign to make more space. Well, maybe.

But that healthy ‘thing’ should already be growing, to the point where you need to make a move or it just makes sense to make a move.

Expanding so you’ll start growing is like saying you want to get married so you’ll fall in love. No, you get married because you’ve fallen in love.

Usually, a church should expand because one of two things is happening:

There’s not enough room for people who are already coming

You’ve got a thriving ministry in one location and you want to bring it to a new location

Expanding for the sake of expansion is not a growth strategy; it’s actually an implosion strategy.

What often happens when you expand because you want to expand is that you will end up with more debt, more complexity, more stagnation and more confusion.

What Do You Think?

So those are false motives I’ve had to wrestle with and I’ve seen many other leaders struggle with.

The truth is, I do want the church to grow. Why?

The best and perhaps the only great motivation for growing a church is that we want to see people move into a life-giving relationship with Jesus.

That’s exactly what we all should be doing.

Do you see any other false motives?

Let me know in the comments below!

scott-magdalein

CNLP 093: How to Train And Develop More Leaders More Quickly: Scott Magdalein

Every church struggles with having enough volunteers and leaders. But are the leaders you have well-trained, well-equipped and prepared for the task ahead? Carey Nieuwhof talks with Trained Up founder Scott Magdalein on how to train more leaders more efficiently.

Welcome to Episode 93 of the Podcast.

scott-magdalein

Guest Links: Scott Magdalein

TrainedUp

Build Your Own Trainer Profiles

YouVersion Bible App

Twitter

Links Mentioned

eaHelp

Bryan Miles; Episode 45

Sarah Piercy; Episode 90

William Vanderbloemen; Episode 19

Search: The Pastoral Search Committee Handbook

Injoy Stewardship Solutions

Connexus Live Online

Life Church

David Kinnaman; Episode 24

Treehouse Training

Pipeline Conference 

3 Things You Can Do Right Away

The way people think about church is changing, so how you develop volunteers has to change. Scott is tech-savvy app developer who has used his talents to develop a self-service platform for ministry training. This is what he says produces the best results from volunteers:

  1. Have a consistent goal for what they want to achieve. Churches who benefit the most from their training programs have a definition of what it looks like when they accomplish a goal. As yourself, “Who do I want this person to be, and what do I expect from them?”
  2. Have a clear plan for every person. Have a plan for people in leadership by specifying the training environment and where their talents will be used. It defines the vision and how it’s executed. A plan for each person keeps the volunteer in the seasonal flow and maintains consistency.
  3. Your mindset has to shift. You have to make the decision to stop filling positions and start developing people. The resources are there, the encouragement is there, and the tools are there. It’s not complicated to get it done; you just have to make the decision to do it. When you embrace the changes in church culture, how you think about the future of your mission becomes a priority.

A Special Offer for Podcast Listeners!

As a bonus to listeners of the podcast, Scott is offering a lifetime discount of 10% off services provided by TrainedUp. Just use coupon code CAREY.

The Lasting Impact Team Edition

IMG_7604

The team edition is a compilation of eight videos designed to allow the teams in your church follow along as a supplement to the book. I highlight key points from the material and discuss additional hot topics that relate to your ministry.

Get your copy of Lasting Impact today! 

Lasting Impact frames 7 pivotal conversations every church team needs to have, covering subjects like declining church attendance, team health, creating a culture volunteers love and how to engineer changes in your church.

Order on Amazon, or visit LastingImpactBook.com! The video team edition, featuring 8 videos where I teach through the key concepts in the book, is available now as well!

Quotes from this Episode

 

 

A New Episode Every Week…Just Subscribe

The podcast releases every Tuesday morning.

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Louie Giglio, Ravi Zacharias, Craig Groeschel, Sue Miller, Kara Powell, Jon Acuff and many others.

Subscribe via

iTunes

Stitcher

TuneIn Radio

Appreciate This? Rate the Podcast.

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on iTunes and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn Radio as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Matt Chewning

Of all the things Boston is known for, being kind to church planters is one NOT of them. But Matt Chewning heard a call, left a career in corporate America and started Netcast Church. Matt shares the ins and outs of how his church has become one of the fastest growing churches in New England.

Subscribe for free now, and you won’t miss Episode 94.

insights on burnout

A Decade Later: My Top 10 Insights On Burnout

Burnout is almost an epidemic among church leaders today, and it’s increasingly common among business leaders as well.

Even young leaders are burning out. No longer is burnout an “I’ve been at this too long” kind of phenomenon.

So what happens if you burnout?

Can you come back?

Can you lead again?

Can you thrive again?

Is there hope?

10 years ago this summer, I burnt out.

It was the first time my fatigue pushed me over a cliff and left me unable to get back. It was more than physical exhaustion…it was emotional exhaustion. I had led for 12 years, but clearly, I had not processed my leadership properly. My first decade in leadership pushed me past the brink of burnout.

If you want more about my story, I write about the descent into burnout in this post and about my recovery here.

In addition, Perry Noble and I talk about burnout on Episode 2 of my leadership podcast (Perry’s story is fascinating).  Perry and I also put together some free resources to help leaders going through burnout.

Personally, I’ll never forget the depth of the despair.

And yet, a full decade later, I have never felt better, never felt more alive, and never been more productive in my life.

Here are 10 ways my burnout changed the way I lead, and 10 insights that can help any leader lead better (whether or not you’ve burnt out).

burnout in leadership1. Limits exist for a reason

As a young leader, it’s so easy to think limits don’t apply to you. In some ways they don’t.

Until they do.

People kept telling me I would burn out.

I thought I was invincible. I was so wrong.

I have a much greater respect for God-given limits: limits for how much I can do, what I should be involved in, and even how much sleep I need.

I’ve discovered that when I respect limits, I ironically get far more accomplished. The desire to burn through all limits many leaders feel, is, in the end, counterproductive.

2. God is still present, even when he feels absent

It’s hard to feel God’s presence when you’ve hit bottom.

There were months where I simply went through the motions—praying, reading my bible and following God as best as I could, even though I felt nothing.

There were moments in which I felt there was no way God could be present because clearly I had failed him, or I wouldn’t be feeling the way I did.

But that simply isn’t true.

God was very present when I was burning out. In fact, he was doing some deep work in me: prodding, shaping and refining who I was. You could even argue he was preparing me for what was ahead.

Did it have to be as painful as it was? Of course not. Had I listened earlier and heeded the warning signs, I probably wouldn’t have burned out.

But God is sovereign, and his faithfulness doesn’t depend on me.

God is still present…even when he feels absent.

3. Your unresolved past will sink your future

Unprocessed ‘issues’ are deadly.

My wife had urged me to go to counselling for a few years before I actually went. I was too proud to go. I sent people to counselling. I didn’t go to counselling.

How stupid.

She saw issues I couldn’t see. Others saw issues I couldn’t see. I had issues…things that were driving me to hurt others unintentionally.

The truth is we all struggle with unresolved issues. The sooner you deal with them, the better everyone around you is.

Your unresolved past will sink your future, unless you deal with it.

4. Grieve your losses

A mentor once told me that ministry is a series of ungrieved losses. He was right.

Think about how much loss is involved in leadership. Someone leaves your church. A staff member quits. A decision doesn’t go your way. You lose a friend.

Many leaders pretend it doesn’t hurt when the reality is it does.

Worse than that, we don’t know what to do with our losses. So we just go back to work.

For years when I read the scriptural stories of how people grieved, I thought to myself, “What’s wrong with these people? Why did they take 40 days to grieve the death of Moses? Couldn’t they just get back to work?”

Little did I realize that taking the time to grieve your losses is one of the healthiest things you can do.

I spent an inordinate amount of time in August 2006 crying. It’s like all the losses I ignored for decades couldn’t stay inside anymore. And once they left…I found closure, even healing.

Now, I pay much more attention to feelings of loss. I pray about them. I process them. Occasionally I do shed tears over the deeper ones. And then I move on.

So much healthier.

5. If God wants to go deep, it’s because he wants to take you far

The #1 question I had in the middle of my burnout is will this ever end? 

It took me three months to start functioning semi-normally again. Within a year, I was at 80%. But it took a full 5 years to be at 100% of normal, which wasn’t the old normal, but a new normal (the old normal would have landed me back in the ditch again).

I realized God was doing some soul surgery in me that went very deep. I believe he wanted to get to the root of some heart issues that would have held me back from doing what he wants to accomplish with my life.

Over the last few years, I’ve been able to encourage other leaders going through burnout, spending some time to pray and talk with them, sometimes at length.

The question they always ask is this: when will this be over? All of us A-types want burnout over quickly.

My standard answer these days is “don’t rush it and don’t delay it. Let it take as long as it takes.”

Why?

There’s a promise underneath the pain. If God is doing surgery, it’s because he wants to bring healing.

It’s also a sign of his love. If God wants to go deep, it’s because he wants to take you far.

6. Your heart will heal and you will trust again

Your heart gets mangled in leadership because

You trusted people who betrayed that trust

You hoped only to have your hopes dashed

You believed only to discover what you were hoping for never happened

That’s the natural stuff of leadership, but in the process, your naiveté and innocence are lost.

As a result, it’s hard not to grow cynical. It’s hard not to let your heart grow hard.

How do you thrive long term when leadership can be disappointing?

For me, it’s a combination of realism and optimism. Yep, it can be hard. Yes, there will be disappointments. But despite that, I will believe again. I will hope again. I will trust again.

Here’s something I’ve discovered: leaders who thrive see life for what it really is but keep their hearts fully engaged.

7. Your emotions eventually catch up to your obedience

When you’re burnt out, your emotions stop working properly. You sometimes feel nothing. Or you feel a deep despair. And at other times, you feel emotions but they are not proportionate to what is going on around you or what you should be feeling.

I think a lot of leaders simply quit because their emotions have stopped working.

What I’ve learned is that obedience is greater than my emotions.

I stayed in ministry because I believe God had not released me from my calling. So I just obeyed.

The amazing thing is, eventually, your emotions catch up to your obedience. As you get healthier, the emotions begin to work the way they should. Sometimes they work better than they ever have.

8. Managing your energy is more important than managing your time

Prior to my burnout, I worked on time management.

Since I burned out, I still work hard on optimal time management, but I’ve discovered a much better approach: energy management.

Your energy waxes and wanes throughout the day. Rather than fight that, I’ve learned to cooperate with it. I’ve discovered that there are probably 3-5 hours a day when I’m at my best (for me, that’s usually in the morning).

I’ve moved all my most important work to those hours when I’m at my best.

Doing what you’re best at when you’re at your best unlocks a world of potential many leaders miss.

I write more on how to manage your energy here.

9. Sleep is a leader’s secret weapon

Exhaustion was a major reason I burned out. Not the only reason, but a major reason.

Now, I guard my sleep zealously, when I’m at home or on the road. I’ve embraced naps. And I watch my fatigue levels like a hawk.

I’ve come to realize that most of us are like our phones. You start off in the morning with 100% charge and at various points in the day, you need to be plugged back in.

A quick nap at lunch can recharge me for a few hours. Getting 7-8 hours of sleep every night has become essential for me to perform at my best at work and at home.

If you want more, I wrote a blog post on why sleep is a leader’s secret weapon.

10. Your best days may actually be ahead of you, not behind you

Here’s some hope for anyone struggling with burnout.

When I was burning out, I was mostly convinced my best days were behind me. With a decade’s distance from my burnout, I can see that wasn’t true in the least.

I came back from burnout (again, here are the 12 keys that helped me), and I’ve accomplished more in the last 10 years than I ever imagined was possible.

I planted a church that has grown into the largest church I’ve ever been a part of.

People told me all through my 30s that I should write a book. I never did. In the last 6 years, I’ve written three.

My blog has grown to millions of readers a year, I launched a weekly leadership podcast, and I’ve had the chance to speak all over the world.

If you had told me God would open up doors like this when I was in the depth of my burnout, I would never have believed it.

I’m not sure I could have handled what God brought my way before I burned out. There were things he needed to do inside me before he did things through me. I see that clearly now.

The point is simply this…if you’re burning out, keep moving through it. Maybe your best days are ahead of you, not behind you.

Want More?

I included a full chapter on personal health and team health in my new book, Lasting Impact. You can pick up a copy for you and your team here.

In addition, listen in on my interview with Perry Noble, Lead Pastor of NewSpring Church who burned out while leading a church that reaches tens of thousands of people. Perry tells you not only why he burned out, but how he came back.

If you prefer, you can listen to the podcast on your phone or another device by subscribing here. Once you’ve subscribed, just look for Episode 2, which is my interview with Perry.

Additionally, don’t miss the free resource page Perry and I put together to help leaders who are burning out. You can access it here for free.

You can subscribe to my podcast for free here on iTunesStitcher or Tune In Radio.

Those are my top 10 insights on burnout a decade later.

What’s helped you move through your toughest seasons? What are your top insights?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

conflict at church

7 Healthy Ways To Resolve Conflict at Church or Work

So you’re dealing with a conflict and you’re feeling some tension with someone you work with or serve with at church.

Join the club.

But rather than let it linger, address it. The stakes are simply too high.

I’m increasingly convinced many churches simply don’t grow because they suffer from conflict and that many teams never thrive because there’s simply too much tension.

What do you do?

Well, first realize you’re not alone. In the United States, 70% of the people who go to work today will tell you they don’t like their jobs.

So many people I know get frustrated at work. And one of the top frustrations?

The people they work with.

Conflict happens wherever people gather: in families, in churches, at work and in their communities.

I think Christians often struggle with conflict because:

In the name of grace, we feel we need to sacrifice truth.

When we speak truth, we often don’t know how to speak it with grace.

We worry about hurting other people’s feelings when one of the best things we can do is offer honest feedback.

We’re not sure how to support someone we genuinely disagree with.

None of that needs to be.

I have learned, through trial and error, that these 7 strategies below can help me deal with conflict.

I hope they can help you.

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Here are 7 ways that I hope can help you resolve conflict:

1. Own your part of the conflict

Conflict and even bad chemistry is almost never 100% one person’s fault.

Thinking you’re not part of the problem is often the problem.

One of the best expressions I’ve heard of how to figure out the extent to which you might be part of the problem is to ask a compelling question: What’s it like to be on the other side of me?

Jeff Henderson asked that question in a great series at North Point Church called Climate Change.

Own what you can. What is it like to be on the other side of you? Ask some people.

2. Go direct 

Often issues are mishandled because we talk about someone rather than to someone.

Your co-worker at the water cooler isn’t the problem, so why talk to him about it?

Jesus was crystal clear on how to handle conflict, but very few Christians follow his practice. In the name of being ‘nice’ (“I can’t tell her that!”), we become ineffective.

Talk to the person you have the problem with. Directly. If you haven’t got the courage to do it, maybe the problem isn’t even big enough to worry about.

3. Believe the best about others

It’s easy to assign bad motives to people. Instead, give them the benefit of the doubt.  They might not realize how they are coming across. Believe the best about others; don’t assume the worst.

Believing the best can help you address an issue directly without ruining the relationship. It can turn hurtful into helpful. Here’s an example: “Rachel, you might not realize this, but sometimes your emails can come across as demanding or even demeaning. I’m not sure you’re aware of that, but I just wanted to let you know how they leave me feeling sometimes. I know you probably don’t mean to do that.”

That gives the person an out, and frankly, many times, they probably had no idea they were coming across negatively.

When you believe the best about others, you tend to get the best from others.

4. Explain—don’t blame

How to talk to the person you’re struggling with is where many people struggle.

And those conversations often go sideways because people begin with blame. Don’t blame. Explain. Instead of saying “You always” or “You never” (which might be how you feel like starting), begin by talking about how you experience them.

If you’re dealing with an ‘angry person’ for example, you might frame it this way: “Jake, I just want you to know that when you get upset in a meeting, it makes me feel like the discussion is over and I can’t make a contribution.”

If you’re dealing with gossip, try something like:  “Ryan, on Tuesday when you told me what happened to Greg on the weekend, I felt like that was something Greg should have told me directly.”

Do you hear the difference between explaining and blaming?

Blaming others is a guarantee that the only person who won’t grow is you.

5. Be specific 

Giving one or two specific incidents is much better than making general accusations or commenting on personality traits. “The other day in the meeting” or “In your email on the August numbers yesterday” is much more helpful than “You just always seem so frustrated.”

The more specific you are, the more you de-escalate conflict and move toward a hopeful ending.

6. Tell them you want things to get better 

What the person you’re confronting needs is hope.

At this point, they probably feel defensive, ashamed and (hopefully) sorry.

Let them know the gifts they bring to the table and the good they do.

Tell them you are looking forward to the future and want things to work out.

7. Pray for them

I know this sounds trite, but it’s not.

Don’t pray about them. Pray for them.

It is almost impossible to stay angry with someone you pray for.

It can also give you empathy for them, and at least in your minds eye, it places you both firmly at the foot of the cross in need of forgiveness. It will take any smirk of superiority out of your attitude, which goes a long way toward solving problems.

What Do You Think?

Do these seven steps always result in a positive outcome? No. But I believe they will resolve the majority of cases in front of you in a very healthy way. At least they have for me. (This approach, by the way, is also effective at home and in most relationships in life.)

I don’t get all 7 approaches right every time, but when I practice them, I find that conflict almost always resolves better.

What would you add to the list? What’s worked for you?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

adam_duckworth_John_Garippa

CNLP 092: Start-Up Church…Lessons from the Trenches of Church Planting with Adam Duckworth and John Garippa

As many leaders know first hand, starting a church isn’t easy. Carey has an honest conversation about the ups and downs of planting a church with Adam Duckworth and John Garippa, six months into planting Downtown Harbor Church in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Welcome to Episode 92 of the Podcast.

adam_duckworth_John_Garippa

Guest Links: Adam Duckworth and John Garippa

Adam Duckworth on Twitter

John Garippa

Not Normal: Seven Quirks of Incredible Volunteers

Leading Not Normal Volunteers: A Not Normal Guide for Leading Your Incredible, Quirky Team

Sue Miller; Episode 60

Downtown Harbor Church

Downtown Harbor Church on Facebook

Downtown Harbor Church on Instagram

Take a Walk, Adam’s sermon series

Links Mentioned

eaHelp

Bryan Miles; Episode 45

Sarah Piercy; Episode 90

Injoy Stewardship Solutions

Orange

Camp KidJam

Reggie Joiner

Brian Wangler; Episode 76

Andy Stanley; Episode 1

Joe Sangl; Episode 68

Chris Brown; Episode 67

Takeaways from this Episode

Adam and John discovered that 87 percent of people in their area weren’t going to church, so they spent time figuring out why. What they found was that people didn’t have a problem with the way church operates, but it was much deeper than that. Here are their findings:

  1. People found church to be a waste of time. The church wasn’t speaking to the community and people didn’t find that it made a difference in their life.
  2. Acceptance was conditional. Although the church was telling the community they were welcome, people found conflicting messages.
  3. No politics. People don’t want to hear about political issues discussed in church. It’s a huge distraction in the American church, so don’t talk about it.
  4. They hate seeing fake. People would see their neighbor attend church and see them outside of church, and they noticed hypocrisy. Be yourself, be normal and be engaging. People outside of church aren’t going to hide who they are. You shouldn’t either.
  5. The church seemed inward-focused. Many churches will create their own events and have a mentality that people will come to them. That never works. You spend all your time creating the events for your church members, and they’re the only ones who show up. Get out in the community and meet people where they are.

 

The Lasting Impact Team Edition

IMG_7604

The team edition is a compilation of eight videos designed to allow the teams in your church follow along as a supplement to the book. I highlight key points from the material and discuss additional hot topics that relate to your ministry.

Get your copy of Lasting Impact today! 

Lasting Impact frames 7 pivotal conversations every church team needs to have, covering subjects like declining church attendance, team health, creating a culture volunteers love and how to engineer changes in your church.

Order on Amazon, or visit LastingImpactBook.com! The video team edition, featuring 8 videos where I teach through the key concepts in the book, is available now as well!

Quotes from this Episode

A New Episode Every Week…Just Subscribe

The podcast releases every Tuesday morning.

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Louie Giglio, Ravi Zacharias, Craig Groeschel, Sue Miller, Kara Powell, Jon Acuff and many others.

Subscribe via

iTunes

Stitcher

TuneIn Radio

Appreciate This? Rate the Podcast.

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on iTunes and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn Radio as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Scott Magdalein

Every church struggles with having enough volunteers and leaders. But are the leaders you have well-trained, well-equipped and prepared for the task ahead? Carey Nieuwhof talks with Trained Up founder Scott Magdalein on how to train more leaders more efficiently.

Subscribe for free now, and you won’t miss Episode 93.

age of terror

Thoughts on How to Be the Church in An Age of Terror

Like me, you hope and pray that tragedies like the one we just witnessed in Orlando will stop and go away…forever.

You wish you could wake up in a world in which children could go to school, friends could go to movies, athletes could run marathons, music lovers could go to concerts and people could go to night clubs and churches without the fear of violence.

Sadly, that doesn’t appear to be ready to happen any time soon.

In an era of randomized terror, it’s extremely difficult to protect ourselves from acts of violence in shopping malls, schools, churches or movie theatres…it is infecting and affecting our ordinary, every day life.

Which is exactly what it’s designed to do. And hence, it’s terror.

In many ways, terror and evil have been part of the fabric of human life forever. My father was born into a world in which Nazi soldiers regularly marched feet away from his living room window while his older brothers hid in the hayloft. Terror is no stranger to previous generations or present generations in many parts of the world.

But living in this emerging reality in the West is new to most of us. And we are left, emotions swinging and raging, wondering how to respond.  Wishing it would go away. Even when in all likelihood, it won’t.

And so we pray, even when we are not sure what to pray or how to pray and often when our prayers consist more of tears, fear and desperation than they do of words. We are heartbroken. And we suspect our hearts will be broken again….soon.

How do we respond as Christians? As church leaders? As pastors and neighbours? As parents? As citizens?

Clearly, there is no single response that can adequately address the complexity or dark depth of what’s happening. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. Nor is there an election result that can fix this once and for all.

But there are some reflections which I hope and pray can be helpful for Christians and church leaders. What you do is important. And how you respond, in the small and the large things, matters so much.

Here are a few things that have been circulating through my heart and mind as the tragedy in Orlando hits home.

age of terror

1. What the church is doing is more important, not less important

Doubtless the church is in an era of deep change.

Given the rise of terror and violence in the West, the days of playing church or simply going to church are drawing to a close.

This is the time to be the church, because what Christians have to offer is a radically different ethic and alternative to hatred and violence. The Gospel is a needed ethic in our culture, and it’s being lost in the noise.

You can debate parts of the scripture all you want, but one thing that is undeniable is that Jesus said his followers would be known by their love.

This, more than anything, is what Christians need to be known for.

Families need this love. Victims need this love. Perpetrators need this love. Children need this love.

The Gospel moves us to love when all that is left is hate.

So what you’re doing this Sunday, not just in response to what happened but in advance of what might happen next, is so important.

Our culture needs the love found in Jesus more than ever. What you’re doing next weekend matters more than you realize.

As the Gospel spreads from person to person, life to life, community to community, nation to nation, we are transformed.

Preach the love of Christ like you were changing the world. Because you are.

2. Confession and humility are more important than ever

Confession and humility are increasingly rare in the West. And in the church. And yet they are two characteristics of Christianity that run to the core of our faith.

The opposite of confession is blame…and that’s an instinctive reaction most of us have. Lack of humility pushes people (and nations) into stand-offs that deepen the divide and escalate the ruin.

The truth is, other religions aren’t the only religions that have spoken hate. Christians have spoken hate as well. We need to repent.

We are perfectly capable of hating and killing each other without intervention from foreign groups that hate the West. And sometimes, we do.

We need to pray, and repent, and carry deep inside of us the knowledge that we too are broken. We too need a Saviour. We too need grace. We too are forgiven.

That posture can’t change everything, but it will change more than you think. It can deeply alter the dynamic and dialogue at a micro-level. When the micro-dialogue and the micro-dynamics changes, it is only a matter of time until the macro changes.

3. Faith is a dividing line that ultimately can become a uniting line

The reality, of course, is that if you’re a Christian, there’s no ‘us’ and ‘them.’ There is only an ‘us’ and ‘us.’

The early church realized that when Jew and Gentile, slave and free, men and women and every ethnic nation imaginable came together under Christ. It was tremendously radical then. It will be just as radical now.

We live in an age where faith is increasingly seen as divisive and extreme. More and more people feel that way about Christianity as well, as David Kinnaman and I discuss in Episode 82 of my leadership podcast (you can listen here).

Yet Christianity, which man see as divisive, is ultimately unifying because it ultimately unites radically different people groups under the love of God that is in Jesus Christ.

4. The only ethic that will ever work is the ethic of love

A generation ago, Martin Luther King Jr. faced a situation that had some parallels. The civil rights movement was hardly yet a movement as the young black preacher began his ministry. The controversy over busing had just begun in Alabama.

One night when King was preaching, someone threw a bomb inside the house where he wife and infant daughter were inside. His family was unharmed, but his front window had been blown out and there was a huge hole in his porch.

As he rushed home, a crowd of several hundred blacks had gathered as had the mayor and the police.

As Charles Duhigg tells the story (in his book, The Power of Habit), someone shoved a cop, a bottle flew through the air and a police officer waved his baton. All the ingredients for a full riot were there. The tension had been building for weeks. Well, actually, for centuries.

King stood up on his porch and told the crowd “Don’t do anything panicky….He who lives by the sword shall perish by the sword.”

Then, as he got everyone’s attention, King spoke these words:

“We must love our white brothers, no matter what they do to us. We must make them know that we love them. Jesus still cries out in word that echo across the centuries: ‘Love your enemies; bless them that curse you; pray for them that despitefully use you.’…We must meet hate with love.”

As Duhigg notes, this was a turning point for the civil rights movement. People put down their fists and their weapons. When hate became instead, an embrace, it became a very difficult force to stop.

The only ethic that will ultimately work against hate is love. And no one should be more loving than those forgiven in Christ.

It would be wise to study King and the civil rights movement again in detail to see not just results, but strategy. The strategy of love appears to lose at first, but ultimately wins.

5. Christians lay down their lives in the face of evil

Should Christians take life? There is little point on this blog to getting into long debate about gun control or state violence.

I would assume that only a few of us who read this are actually legislators, and that none of us who read this have ever sat in the Oval Office or at 24 Sussex Drive to receive a briefing as the leader of a nation. We cannot understand the complexities of leadership or government from the seats in which we sit. Or at least I can’t.

But I do have to figure out my personal response. And so do you. So do Christians.

What I know is this.

That when Jesus himself was hated enough to be unjustly tortured and killed, he willingly gave his life. He didn’t fight back. He didn’t even enter a defence at his trail.

In fact, he did something more profound than defending himself, he forgave his torturers.

Actually, it went deeper than that. The very act his captors used to kill Jesus is the act Jesus would later use to extend to them forgiveness and salvation.

Meeting Jesus, this crucified Saviour, would later lead Saul to move from killing Christians out of hatred to planting churches across the known world.

Ultimately, Paul gave his life for the sake of the Gospel.

The ultimate Christian response to hatred is not to take someone’s life for hating you, it’s to lay down your life for their sake.

You can kill the body. But you cannot kill love. You cannot kill forgiveness. You cannot kill grace.

It is to those things we must cling in these days.

6. External regulations cannot trump internal values

Can you legislate away terror? Not really.

I’m all in favour of better laws, smarter laws, and doing all we can to make sure evil does not win.

But laws alone cannot defeat evil. Laws, in fact, can barely contain it.

Ultimately the problems we are facing are not issues of law, they are issues of the heart.

Changed laws do not change hearts.

What changes hearts? The Gospel. Love. Christ.

When a heart is transformed, it’s value system is transformed. Forgiveness dissolves anger. Love dissolves hate.

As a result, a person’s value system changes. This is where the hope is. This is where the key to future lies.

Why? Because internally-owned values trump externally-imposed rules every time.

In a community where love has won, laws are barely needed. In a community where hate lives, laws do almost no good.

Paul knew this.

So how does that love gain a foothold in a culture threatened with hate?

The way people will discover that love is when they meet a Christian who behaves like an actual Christian.

And that means that this begins with you and with me.

You may have never met a terrorist. You may not have even know many Muslims.

But the truth is there are people you don’t like, and probably a few that you hate. Start there.

Forgive someone you actually know.

And then when it comes to adding your voice to the public dialogue on social media or in private conversations, don’t fuel hate to people groups and other religions…instead, extend love.

The most radical thing you can do today is to extend love in the face of hate.

It will require all you have. In fact, you will not be able to do it. You may actually need a Saviour to help.

Which is exactly the point.

So go be the church…

So go be the church…the real church. The authentic church. The church Jesus had in mind.

Repent. Confess. Humble yourself. Forgive. Love. Hope. Trust.

Turn to Christ for the strength you don’t have. He has it.

Church…we may actually have the things that can change the world.

What you’re doing this week matters more than ever.