My last post on why Christians should let non-Christians off the moral hook seems to have sparked a lot of interest.

It also raises a lot of questions.

If we let non-Christians off the hook morally, (as I suggest), do we then let ourselves off the hook?

How do we have the lifestyle conversation with non-Christians if they decide to follow Jesus?

How do we even talk about Christian morality in a post-Christian world?

This is becoming a bigger and bigger issue. I live in Canada, a country in which less than 10% of the population regularly attends church. And a country in which moral relativism is pretty much a part of the water supply. Just talk to anyone under 30, or their parents. You’ll see.

So do Christians just cave and become part of the dominant culture? I don’t think so.

The ethic that characterizes authentic Christ-followers is distinctive.

There is something inherently attractive about really pursuing obedience without judging non-Christians who don’t.

Even non-Christians find something inherently attractive about:

pursuing good over evil

loving rather than hating

staying faithful to one person for life

taking care of your body

living out radical generosity

demonstrating self-control

putting others ahead of yourself

humility

Strangely, the culture still admires Christian values, even if it doesn’t like the Christian part.

So how do you talk about Christian morality without sounding like a…jerk?

Here are three ideas for how to talk about Christian morality:

1. Talk about what you do, without telling them what they should do. I have a friend who’s not a Christian who doesn’t drink. He never talks about it from a perspective of “nobody should drink”, but says that he’s never seen good come out of drunkenness and he doesn’t trust himself to not get drunk. It’s a strangely compelling conversation. Helpful, authentic, and never judgmental.

What if you starting talking about your morality in these tones:

I find that being married to the same person for the rest of my life, while not easy, has been really rewarding in the end.

I’m not telling you shouldn’t get drunk I’m just saying that it’s not something I do.

Yeah, I guess I just don’t swear…

Smoking weed just isn’t something I do. I guess you could say my happiness comes from other places.

Conversations like this (you might be better at this than I am) can lead to the next question, such as “Well, where does your happiness come from?” Or “So how have you guys made it through 15 years of marriage?”  At that point, you can legitimately start to talk about the difference your faith has made.

2. Start with salvation, not discipleship. When Jesus called Matthew as a diciple, he didn’t attach conditions. He just called him, as awkwardly and embarrassingly imperfect as he was. When Jesus comes to town, you don’t get loved because you change, you change because you’re loved. Just ask Matthew.

3. Embrace sanctification. Sanctification is a big word, and an old word, but a good word. Sanctification is the work of the Holy Spirit, and it refers to the process of ‘being made Holy’.  As David Kinnaman says, disciples are hand made.  God does his work in people over time…identifying issues and prompting them to change.

If you teach what’s clearly right, God has a way of prompting the conscience of believers to change. Sure, sometimes direct intervention and tough conversations are necessary, but I am amazed how often after a message about marriage or a small group experience, couples who are living together come to their own conclusion that they need to move out, get married and make things right with God. The Spirit is at work, and he’s actually quite good at life-change.

Those are some thoughts on how to talk about Christian morality in a post-Christian world.

What are you learning? What’s making the dialogue better (or tougher) where you are?

I feel like I need to get something off my chest.

It bothers me  that Christians continually express shock, disapproval and judgment at the way non-Christians live.

You’ve seen it, and maybe even done it:

Doesn’t anyone believe in marriage anymore?

I can’t get over how many people today smoke weed.

Can you believe they just sleep in instead of coming to church?

Did you hear they moved in together? That’s so bad!

What’s wrong with our government? Why don’t they uphold biblical values?

Whenever I hear that, I I feel like saying “Do you seriously expect non-Christians to behave like Christians?”

Think it through.

Most people in the West no longer consider themselves Christian.

Or even if they use the term “Christian” to describe themselves, few believe in the authority of scripture or profess a personal faith in Jesus Christ.

So why would we expect them to behave like Christians? Why would we expect people who don’t profess to be Christians to:

Wait until marriage to have sex?

Clean up their language?

Be celibate when they’re attracted to people of the same sex?

Pass laws like the entire nation was Christian?

Seriously? Why?

They’re not pretending to be Christians. Why would they adopt Christian values or morals?

Please don’t get me wrong.

I’m a pastor. I completely believe that the Jesus is not only the Way, but that God’s way is the best way.

When you follow biblical teachings about how to live life, your life simply goes better. It just does. I 100% agree.

I do everything I personally can to align my life with the teachings of scripture, and I’m passionate about helping every follower of Christ do the same.

But what’s the logic behind judging people who don’t follow Jesus for behaving like people who don’t follow Jesus?

Why would you hold the world to the same standard you hold the church?

Before you judge a non-Christian for behaving like a non-Christian, think about this:

1. They act more consistently with their value system than you do. It’s difficult for a non-Christian to be a hypocrite, because they tend to live out what they believe. Chances are they are better at living out their values than you or I are. Jesus never blamed pagans for acting like pagans. But he did speak out against religious people for acting hypocritically.

2. Your disapproval is destroying the relationship (if you have even have a relationship in the first place). Some of the most judgmental Christians have zero non-Christians friends. Is that a surprise, really? I mean, on a human level,  how many people have you made time for this week that you know disapprove of who you are and the way you live? Exactly.

3. Judgment is a terrible evangelism strategy. People don’t line up to be judged. If you want to keep being ineffective at reaching unchurched people, keep judging them.

4. Judging outsiders is unChristian. Paul told us to stop judging people outside the church. Jesus said God will judge us by the same standard with which we judge others. Paul also reminds us to drop the uppity-attitude; that none of us were saved by the good we did but by grace.

So what can you do?

1.  Stop judging non-Christians. Start loving them. Very few people have been judged into life-change. Many have been loved into it.

2.  Empathize with non-Christians. Ask yourself, “If I wasn’t a Christian, what would I be doing?” Chances are you might be doing exactly what the non Christians in your neighbourhood are doing.  Understanding that and empathizing with that completely changes how you see people. And they can tell how you see them.

3. Hang out with non-Christians. Jesus did. And caught plenty of disapproval for it. I have a friend who continually drops f-bombs in my presence. As much as it bothers me, I never correct him (he’s not a kid, he’s my peer). But I do pray for him every day and we talk about my faith. I pray I see the day when he’s baptized.

4. Pray for unchurched people. It is impossible to remain enemies with someone you genuinely pray for daily.

5. Live out your faith authentically. Your actions carry weight. Humility is far more attractive than pride. When a non-Christian sees integrity, it’s compelling.

I just have a feeling if we in the church loved the world the way Jesus did, the world might come running to Christ.

And, then. the change we long to see might actually begin to happen.

You’ve heard it, and if you’re like me, maybe you’ve even done a version of it.

You’ve heard a Christian leader stand up before a group and say:

The vision we have before us is a vision from God…

God told me that…

It’s clear to me that God wants us to…

Talk about a trump card.

And many leaders play it.

The challenge is most of us have seen a leader’s desire to speak for God misused as often as we’ve seen it used well.

In fact, most of the time when people claim speak for God, they aren’t talking about the cross, salvation, the sovereignty of God, the mission of the capital C church, the lost or the poor.  They’re just talking about their opinion.

A new program they’re trying to get support for.

A change in direction they feel strongly about.

A building campaign they’re trying to raise millions for.

A new board structure.

A decision to quit, move or take a promotion.

Most of the time when leaders trot out “God told me”, they’re actually seeking to add divine weight to something that truthfully, is either their opinion or their (maybe sincere) attempt to apply what they’ve learned to the situation they’re facing.

So why not just call it that?

It’s our opinion.

It’s my conviction.

It’s our belief.

It’s my understanding.

It’s my decision.

I think people would just respect you more. Because that’s what it is, isn’t it?

And if church people wonder whether you actually heard from God when you claim to be speaking for him, I promise you unchurched people – especially the millennial generation – don’t find it credible.

In fact, last year I had the opportunity and responsibility to lead our church through a capital campaign. People generously committed $1,250,000 toward the future of our church. But I don’t believe I once said  ’this is a vision we received from God.”  Instead, I tried to call it what I believed it is: the best application of the biblical Church’s mission our team could discern for our time and place.

And that’s what I believe it is. In fact, I’m fully convinced of that.

And isn’t that what leaders all called to make? The best application of God’s word for their place and time? I think so.

Ironically, when you’re dead honest about the fact that this is your interpretation or your belief or your best application, people tend to believe you more. It just seems more credible, more real, doesn’t it?

And then if you’re wrong, you don’t take God – and peoples’ faith – down with you.

I don’t want someone’s faith to crash because I said I spoke for God when there’s a chance I might be wrong.

Don’t get confused. When I teach, I can stand on the platform 100% confident that God’s love in Christ extends to someone I’m talking to, and I can preach or say that. I can be 100% confident in the saving work of Christ, in the Gospel, is the truth of God’s word and so much else we know for sure.

But when it comes to a leadership decision I made or our team made based on God’s word, well – I just want to make sure we’re equally accurate.

Because you speak for God:

You shouldn’t attribute your opinions to him.

You shouldn’t attribute your personal or collective dreams to him.

You shouldn’t attribute your thought process to him.

You should always communicate with humility and some degree of quivering.

Because we lead people, we can also mislead people. That’s why this matters.

What do you think should guide us when we claim to speak for God?