Invisible Communication

Had a great conversation last week with some leaders who lobbed a fresh thought my way.  We were talking about preachers, and being one, that always gets my interest up.

As we talked about effective communication,  one of the people said that the best ways to evaluate a preacher is to watch with the sound turned off.  Most preachers, he observed, look angry.

That was a huge insight.

How I say something is as important as what I say.  I had already noticed that most of us need to smile more; most of us look moderately unhappy much of the time.  But this observation really drove it home.

Now there are moments where we can rightfully be angry.  But all the time?  Every Sunday? Every day?  No. No wonder people are afraid of God.

Maybe this goes beyond preaching into life.  What if you simply decided to tell your face to match your mood every time you:

Walk into a meeting

Meet a friend

Arrive home at night

Greet your children

Picked up the phone

Start skyping

Pump gas

I don’t want my default to be a scowl.  In part because I don’t like people who are like that.  But also because I know a God who decided to make his final word “love”.

So…every time you move into a new situation today (if you don’t have something other than ‘the usual stuff” to communicate) try smiling.

It might communicate more than you think.

 

9 Responses to “Invisible Communication”

  1. Casey Graham January 24, 2012 at 9:51 am #

    This is incredible word!!! Great.

  2. trevor January 24, 2012 at 10:35 am #

    That’s intriguing! Now I want to go and watch a bunch of youtube clips of preachers with the sound off.

  3. Scott January 24, 2012 at 10:43 am #

    Carey; great post…lines up with an axiom I often cite; “Your countenance counts!” You’re right- How we appear when we communicate can overpower WHAT we communicate. Your practical applications give that concept real teeth. Thanks for the insights.

    Scott

  4. Carey January 24, 2012 at 11:47 am #

    Ha ha. Don’t watch me. I’m scared.

  5. Carey January 24, 2012 at 11:48 am #

    Love that axiom! Thanks Scott.

  6. Rob January 24, 2012 at 2:11 pm #

    I never thought about until now but I think I’m guilty of it. I’m usually deep in thought or praying before speaking to make sure I have everything in line, and generally probably look a little angry. I need to grow my beard even larger so help disguise that.

  7. Chad Hoffman January 24, 2012 at 11:32 pm #

    Great topic to bring up that almost nobody talks about!!! Love the ideas of carrying this throughout our day! In front of large groups this is much harder to do…so what tips does everyone have that we can turn this into action to help us not look so angry while speaking from the stage? Especially when we trying to be compelling and are bringing a message that is urgent.

  8. Ray April 30, 2012 at 2:41 pm #

    Works wonders when you are recording your voicemail message.
    Smile before you start recording and the message sounds much friendlier.

  9. Carey April 30, 2012 at 2:48 pm #

    So true. What a great idea. Thanks Ray!

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