“It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.” Psalm 127.2

Most ministry leaders I meet are tired.

I had this thing as a young leader that work was good and sleep was for other people.  I routinely cheated sleep and considered myself heroic for doing it.  Know anyone like that?

Everything was sustainable…until five years ago.  I hit a wall.   A wall that for the first time in my life I couldn’t scale or climb.  I just hit it.  I was exhausted..burnt out or at least burning out.

I spent July and August 2006 so tired that I decided I couldn’t fight it anymore.    What do you do when the only way you’ve known how to live and lead doesn’t work anymore?

Instead of fighting my body, I decided to cooperate with it.  So I slept.  I went to bed early.  I took naps.  And after two months, I essentially caught up.  There was more to my recovery than that, but sleep was a huge factor.

I also learned this: if you don’t take the Sabbath, the Sabbath will take you.

Although this sounds very strange to say out loud, but it bothered me to admit that God couldn’t be argued with, that I couldn’t cheat his rules.  Even in his name or for his cause.

For some reason, God envisions a life in which his creation spent at least 1/7 of our time on earth resting.  Resting in him.  In his love.  It seems that God can get along better without our work than we can.

And what I’m learning over the last five years is that I’m a better leader, better husband and dad, and frankly a better person if I cooperate with the way I’m designed than if I fight it, like I did for decades.  My spirit is gentler, my mind sharper and my input more helpful if I show up rested and ready.

I’m still not sure whether I truly take a Sabbath – where I fully disengage for 24 hours a week and truly rest in him.  But I’m cooperating more with my body and spirit than ever before, and rest more regularly.  I’m beginning to delight in God more.

You tired heading into the weekend?

I have a suggestion.  Sleep.  Take a nap right now.  Go to bed on time.  Stay in bed a few extra minutes tomorrow.  Rest.  Take a day off.  Sabbath.

Your body needs it.  And in the process you’ll discover something amazing:  your strength is more limited than you think.  But God’s is endless.  And the next phase of your ministry might be built more on what He can do than on what you can do.

And you’ll feel better in the process.  Tired leaders are tiring leaders.

I would classify myself as an optimist, but I’m finding that the older people get, the fewer optimists remain.  And as the years flip by, I find I have to work on remaining optimistic.

I wonder if that’s because the older you get, the more you see life for what it really is.  People let you down. Your striving doesn’t always result in progress.  Past hurts catch up with you.  You realize the world is more broken than you once thought.

The optimism of your 20s gives way to the realism of your 30s, which give way to…well, you know where this often goes.   Cynicism can creep.  Many cynics I know like to call themselves realists, but sometimes I think that’s just putting lipstick on a pig.

Here’s why I’m relentlessly committed to optimism.  Cynics don’t attract people.  But optimists do.  As I lead through the next season of life, I want to have something to offer other than a blunt assessment of our limitations – not just to the church and community, but to my wife and kids (and one day grandkids).

The future is going to be built by optimists.  They are dealers in hope.  Cynics deal discouragement.  And who wants more of that?

Think about it.  How many older, grouchy, disgruntled people do you want to be around?  (Take age out of it – being a round a disgruntled twenty something isn’t much fun either.)  Cynics claim they’ve got an accurate vantage point on life, but can you really build a future on them?

Here are some things that are true about optimists:

Optimists get kicked but refuse to stay down.

Optimists believe the future can get better.

Optimists still believe in people.

Optimists believe in progress.

Optimists believe that God isn’t finished with them or with his creation.

Optimists believe that God is in control, and that his Kingdom will come.

In the end, optimists see life for what it is but decide to keep their heart fully engaged.  And that’s what I love about optimists.

What do you find compelling about optimists? What are you doing to stay optimistic despite the hits you’ve taken?

You don’t like disappointing people.  Who does?

But what I’m learning is that disappointing people is inevitable.  You just need to choose who to disappoint.

Here’s the problem.  All of us have more opportunities than time.  Whether you are an at-home parent, retired,  working full time or running a large organization – opportunity just seems to exceed time available.

It became very personal for me this week.  I’ve spent the last few days at BigStuf Camp in Panama City Beach Florida. It’s an incredible camp. I love it! I know some people down here – in fact some people I love are down here.  I could hang out at the sessions, meet some great new leaders and catch up with people I know well.

But I didn’t do that.  I turtled in my condo.  I realized when I got down here that I was a very tired – more tired than I realized.  I had some deadlines coming up and realized I could meet them now or work like crazy when I got home. So I caught up on sleep.  And I caught up on work.

I’ve also realized on my journey to becoming an introvert (I used to be an extrovert) that time all by myself refuels my soul.  I caught lunch with a great friend and said hi to some others, but last night I just stayed in the room, caught up on a bit of work, did nothing and refueled my soul.  I had the best prayer time I had had in months.

I decided to disappoint a few people here (and disappoint myself – because I was really looking forward to advancing some friendships), rather than disappoint the people I’ll by flying home to tonight.  Waiting for me on the other end are my wife, my sons, our team at Connexus, some friends at home I’ll be seeing over the weekend and my ‘core group’.   I decided to come back to them with my best energy.

And here’s why it’s so tough:  it’s easy to think that the people at home will forgive you. They might actually. But your relationship with your core group is going to be what determines the quality of your life and leadership.  These are the people who will be at all your milestone events (weddings, birthdays, celebrations, even your funeral!).  The guy you just never caught that coffee with?  He won’t.

Here’s the general rule: you will be tempted to say yes to the people you know the least and ignore the people you love the most. Don’t.  When pressed for time, disappoint the people you know least well.  It will improve your family life, your leadership and ultimately fill and fuel your soul.

Do you agree?  What’s your take on this?  Why is it easy to give our best time to strangers and our leftovers to the people we love?

Okay…we’ll start here.  None of us like to use the word ‘power’ and a reference to ourselves in the same sentence.  We all like to pretend we have less power than we do.

But the truth is you have power…of some kind.  So do I.  You have

• Influence
• Money
• Authority
• Street credibility
• Popularity
• Connections

Power doesn’t only come from a title or salary.  We all have it in one form or another. At a minimum, every friend, parent, employee and spouse has influence.  If you don’t believe it, ask your kids, spouse, co-workers or friend.  You have it.  And you and I are responsible for how we use it. While each of us knows people with more power and influence than we have, that reality doesn’t change the fact that we’re accountable for what God has given us.

So how do you use the power you’ve been entrusted with?  The natural course is to use it for your own advancement.

But if we view it properly, all power, influence and even status come to us as a trust from God.  Any influence, money, authority or connections I might have are not given to my for my sake, but to be exercised in full view that God gave them to me for a reason and purpose.

So how do you keep this front and centre?  Here’s what I find: one of the very best uses of power is to use it to help someone who can’t possibly pay you back.

Help someone who doesn’t have the money, social network, position or influence to possibly pay you back in even a remotely equivalent way.   Jesus taught on this in a very powerful way.

Occasionally I’ll do a self-audit to see how I’m stewarding that influence.  If I’m mostly concerned with people who are more ‘important’ and influential than me, it’s a pretty good sign that I’m using the influence God has given me in a selfish way.  I might be trying to climb a professional ladder, move my own agenda ahead or advance a personal kingdom.  We naturally have to work with people who are ‘higher up’ than we are, but if those are the only people we really track with, something is awry.

Here are nine things you and I can do to help ensure we are using our power and influence to help others in a faithful way:

• Build a friendship with a homeless (personally, not just through some organization you send checks to)
• Journey with someone struggling with mental illness
• Build friendships with people who you think will probably never attend your church (this one’s for pastors)
• Write a cheque to someone who can’t possible repay you
• Throw a dinner party for people who never get invited out
• Personally return messages that are sent to you even by people who can’t ‘help your cause’
• Use your social media presence to interact with people with a fraction of the followers you have
• Take a very junior colleague out to lunch and spend some time listening
• Share/loan/donate your possessions to people who can’t afford what you can afford

I promise you this resonates on multiple levels.  First, we have a Saviour who has done all of the above and more for each of us, one way or the other.  And second, every time someone with more power, authority and influence does that for me, I am humbled, encouraged and amazed at the same time.

What are you learning about this?  What things help you steward the influence God has given you?

Everyone in North America is coming off a long weekend (Happy Canada Day and Independence Day)!  Here’s what I’m hoping you got: some down time to power your up time.  I think that’s the best use of down time.

We’re all living life on mission. There are two ways we misuse down time or time off.

The first way is to think it’s all about our pleasure with no greater end in mind.  If we see downtime that way, we tend to think that life should be an all-inclusive resort, catering to our every need and pleasure.  It’s basically laziness dressed up with money.   And there isn’t much biblical or rewarding about it.  No matter how rested and refueled you are, a life lived pointed at yourself is a life that’s only as big as you are, which is, frankly, not very big.  Self-indulgence is just selfishness with lipstick.

The second way to misuse time off is not to take it – either to keep working, or to feel guilty, or to push through our off time thinking that time off is for wimps and people who can’t handle a real pace.  But if you don’t refuel yourself emotionally, spiritually, physically and relationally, you’ll get back to the mission with nothing to give.  I’ve been there from time to time.  And I remind myself of this:  a bankrupt person can never be generous.  You can only give what you’ve got.

While I tend toward the second misuse of down time, I see both as pandemic.

That’s why I’m reminding myself that the best thing I can do is care for myself.   Spend some time nurturing my heart, my relationship with God, my family, some key relationships, working out and having some fun.  Some of the the healthiest, most life-giving people I know are people who have a lot to give in their up-time because they have surrendered their down time to the greater mission.  They relax, take care of themselves, and even have fun realizing all of that is rebuilding their reserves so that when they’re back at work, back in life, back in ministry, they have something to give.  And if I’m honest, it’s been a while.   So I need to switch it up for the rest of the summer.

What’s the best use of your down time?  What refuels you?  What are you learning about this?