You have a dream.  You have unrealized potential.  There are things you want to do that you haven’t done.

Whether it’s your next step spiritually,  a promotion, a financial goal, exercise, a new attitude or a new career, you’ve got something you dream about on your radar screen.

What’s stopping you?

The answer is simpler than you think. You are.

At least I know in my own experience, I’m the biggest cap on my own development, future and potential.

Here’s how it happens.

We live in a land of a thousand excuses and justifications.

I have too much to do to get started on it…

I want to do ______, but here’s why I can’t….

I’m not sure I could….

If I didn’t have _________ as a boss/spouse/income/career….

If only my skill set was different…

If someone would just give me a chance…

I’m not sure why God made me this way.  If he hadn’t, then I……..

Spend some time auditing your thought life today.  You’d be surprised how much time you spend convincing yourself you can’t get on to your next big project, your next dream, or even the right thing to do.

I’m not saying there’s never any external opposition to people realizing their dreams.  I am saying most of us will never figure out what that is because the only thing that keeps us from our next step is ourselves.

Until you change that.

Next time you think of a reason, excuse or justification – call it out.  Surrender it to God.  And be honest with yourself.

Then, perhaps, the thing that’s stopping you will at least not be you.  And you might discover you’re no longer being stopped at all.

One of the best things a leader can do is ask questions.

When I started out as a leader, I thought it was my job to have all the answers. I’ve rethought that a lot.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a leader by nature.  I pretty much have an opinion on everything.  And I form it quickly.

Which is my problem.

If I don’t catch myself, here’s what I do:

• I try to solve their problem.
• I give immediate advice.
• I jump to a conclusion (in the absence of the relevant facts, I’ll infer them).

Now while there are moments where that skill set can be helpful (like during a crisis), and while as a leader you need strong instincts, day to day it can get in the way.

Here’s what it does:

• It’s disempowering.
• It ignores the value of what others could contribute.
• It stunts the leadership potential of the person I’m talking to, because I solved something they could solve (often better) on their own.  The more you deal with a person, the more this is true.

So I’m trying to ask more questions.  Here are ways that questions are helping me out these days:

• Instead of jumping to a conclusion, ask a question. Ever notice that often the conclusions you jump to involve attributing a motives to someone because you lack information, as in “I’ll bet he was late for work because he slept in.”  Whether you say it or not, you’re thinking it.  If you asked a question, you might learn that his car wouldn’t start of his daughter was sick.   And if he did sleep in, what have you lost by waiting to learn that?
• Instead of offering your opinion, ask a question that might help the person see things from a different perspective.  For example, instead of saying “I don’t think that would work.”  Why not ask “Where do you think that will lead long term?”  People own conclusions they reach themselves.

How about you?  Asking more questions these days?  What are you learning?

I was reminded last week how often I get asked this question:  ”So I’m on board with a change I want to make.  So’s my team around me and everyone who works for me.  But we haven’t got the senior leader/board/executive team on board yet. In fact, they’re not even really aware of what we want to change.”

That’s a great question.  So let me share three keys to leading up that have helped our team:

1. Do Your Homework. I learned this from Sue Miller, who worked for years at Willow Creek Church in Chicago and now works with Orange.  Even though Sue is an incredible leader, she spent most of her ministry not sitting in the senior leader’s chair.  She says she always went into a meeting with her senior pastor prepared.  She knew what a lot of us discovered – too many leaders come in to a board or senior leader with little more than an idea, an impulse or something they just heard about and are excited about for the moment.  Sue never led like that.  She came in prepared, informed and studied.  I’m sure her senior leaders valued that deeply.

2.  Think Cross-Organizationally. I love it when a team member comes in and they have thought far beyond their department, ministry or area and considered the impact of their proposal on the entire organization.  A senior leader’s job is to try to ensure the whole organization runs optimally, and the fact that you have thought that through is incredibly helpful.

3. Be Publicly Loyal. Andy Stanley says it all the time: public loyalty buys you private leverage. And he’s right.  Every senior leader is human, and when we hear that you’ve been criticizing us behind our back or complaining to people that ‘we’re not really listening’, it’s hard to engage you.  Even if we listen to the feedback, which a good leader will anyway, why would we trust you as a key member of our team?  On the other hand, I love it when team members come to me directly with ideas that are contrary to mine.  I love it when they ask questions, probe and complain, but leave that inside the office.  Often, those are the people we end up promoting.  Their character shows they are trustworthy.  And they end up with tons of private leverage.  I won’t sell them short publicly.  And they won’t sell me short publicly.  It’s what great relationships are built on.

Those are three observations I’ve made over the years and rules I live by.  What have you found helpful as you lead up?  What are your challenges?