To continue probing the question about the extinction of the church on the blog this week, I wanted to share one sure way to kill your church.

Again, I don’t believe the church itself will die, but I do think yours might (and ours could, if we’re not careful).  Here’s one sure way to kill it:

Change the message, not the method.

When things start to slide in the church, I have seen more than a few churches and even entire denominations decide that the problem is the message.  So they start suggesting that maybe there is more than one way to God other than Jesus.  They doubt the authority of scripture.  They stray from the historic message of Christianity.

I can’t say this strongly enough – that’s a huge mistake.  The problem is not the message of Christianity.  The problem is the method.

Many of these churches change the message but keep the methods of past generations.  They question Jesus while keeping the choir.  They change the message while doing kids’ ministry in a creaky basement with mould in the corners.  They change the message while offering purposeless pot luck dinners that have little to do with the message of Jesus.

The problem isn’t the message – it’s the method.

The message is eternal.  The method is temporal.

The message shouldn’t change.  The method should.

Every growing church that is reaching unchurched people that I am personally aware of holds the message sacred but is incredibly innovative in the methods they use. Their services, student ministry, kids’ ministry, programming and even facilities look little like church twenty years ago.  The way the message is delivered has changed too.   But the message itself?  Pretty much bang on orthodox Christianity.

Here’s what I believe: churches that change the message don’t grow because they have nothing to say.

Sometimes I think that for some in this generation, the method has become more sacred than the message.

The best way  to kill your church is to change the message and hang on to an outdated method.  If you want to grow it, start by trying the opposite:

Change the method, not the message.

If Christianity is declining in influence, which it arguably is in Canada, the larger question is – will it become extinct?

It’s been engaging to watch the response to Monday’s blog post (lots of off line dialogue and some great stuff on my Facebook page – love to hear more!).   But here’s the bottom line.  The church won’t die.  And here’s why.  It’s Christ’s church, not ours.  Jesus has far more invested in it than we do and we have been promised in scripture that even the gates of hell won’t prevail against it.

But here’s what’s equally true.

While the church itself won’t die, yours might.

While the church will always exist, God might simply choose not to use you to lead it.

This has happened more than a few times before.  Witness the 19th century church buildings that used to house thousands of worshippers that are now museums or community theaters.  The church itself didn’t die – but their church did.  And that will happen again.

I’m with 2500 church leaders at the Drive Conference today.  This weekend I’ll be with hundreds of church leaders in Canada and a month from now with 5000 leaders at Orange.  And every weekend I’m home at Connexus where we are seeing 68% of our growth come from people who didn’t previously attend church. The church is not dead.  You can actually see the church that will be taking shape in front of our eyes today.

Here are some marks of the kind of churches I believe will survive in Canada and the US well into the 22nd century:

They will be Christ-centered.

The truth of scripture will be evident in the lives its members live daily not just in the notes they take on Sunday.

They will use the culture to reach the culture – their music, style of communication and approach will make it easy for a completely unchurched person to access everything and begin following Christ.

They will lead people into authentic community.

They will exist not for themselves, but for the people who aren’t there yet.

They will think more about outsiders than insiders.

They will drop a posture of arrogance and think of others as better than themselves.

They will be relentlessly committed to sharing the unchanging truth of God with an ever-changing culture.

They will be far more selfless than the last generation of Christians

When you have people living this way, the church won’t die.  I believe it will flourish.

Those of some of my thoughts about the church that will be here decades from now.  What would you add?  What do you see?

This study profiled by CNN last week suggests religion might be extinct in Canada within 100 years.

More and more people are affiliating themselves with the category called “unaffiliated”, which I think is the technical term for ‘no thanks’ when it comes to Christianity and religion.

The study doesn’t surprise me, but it does distress me.  I thought we’d unpack this on the blog a bit – the implications are huge.

When tough things occur,  I’ve seen church leaders approach the issue from four principal positions.

Blame

Justification

Resignation

Repentance

The blamers deride minor hockey games on Sunday, Sunday shopping, the kids who left who just weren’t loyal, the government, the education system, the growth of the ‘mega-church’ (which is a bit of a misnomer in Canada anyway) – essentially anything and anyone that moves who isn’t them.  The future is rarely built by people who blame.

The justifiers explain why our demise is inevitable.  They sound a lot like the blamers, but they’re not as angry.  It’s not their fault that the church is dying – clearly it’s someone else’s issue.  And there’s a thousand reasons for it (none of which are their fault in case you didn’t catch that).  They’ll tell you all about it.

The resigners are the least passionate of the bunch.  The demise of the church, while regrettable, is almost logical.  In a post-modern, post-Christian, pluralistic world, the church really can’t compete.  Perhaps it’s just best to plan a quiet, dignified funeral.

The repenters are the rarest group.  They see the problems and the cultural shift, but rather than point blame outward, they assign responsibility inward.  They confess the sins not of the culture, but of the church.  Or more specifically, they confess their own sins.  They realize the problem is that when we have a sacred truth that isn’t connecting, the problem isn’t with the sacred truth, but with those who bear it.  They pray, fast, weep and then they do something even more remarkable.  They change.  They reform.  Did you ever notice the Reformation started first with confessing the sins of the existing church? People repented and out of repentance came renewal.

When you adopt the mantra of repentance, anything and everything can change.  If you start with repentance, it never ends there.  Blaming, justifying and resigning yourself to things ends possibilities.  Repenting releases fresh possibilities.  I believe a church that confesses will be around 100 years from.  They might even reverse the trend completely.

What do you think the predominant response of the church has been to our pending demise?  What would it take to move more leaders to repentance?

I forget where I picked this up, but a few years ago someone suggested dropping the word ‘but’ from most of my conversations.

Here’s why. We’ve all been in the situation where someone pulls us aside and tells us two or three encouraging and positive things. “Hey, I really love your work on the project and I’ve seen how many hours you’ve put in…” And something inside of us really can’t hear it because we are waiting for the ‘but’ that we suspect is coming. And often it is. “….but I’ve got one concern.”

For me, the ‘but’ undoes all the good I’ve already heard. I get transfixed by it. In all likelihood, so do you.

So instead of saying “but”, try saying “and” more often. Listen to the difference. “Hey I really love your work on the project and I’ve seen how many hours you’ve put in. Thank you. And I’ve really only got one concern.”

Do you hear the difference?

You did a great job taking out the trash, and there’s only one thing left to do.

I loved the meal tonight!  Thank you.  And next time I wonder if we changed this one thing I think it might even taste better.

I loved your message on Sunday.  Really spoke to me.  And I was wondering….

One little word.  Big difference.

What do you think?

The other day I met someone who had been a Christian for years, but who was showing little love to the people around him.

It reminded me of the way I can be if I’m not careful.  And it reminded me of this:

Knowledge of God without the love of God isn’t God.

And that’s a growing edge for me spiritually.  It’s much easier for me to grow my knowledge of God than it is for me grow my love for God and people.

And maybe the biggest challenge I will have today will not be to know more, but to love more.  To love deeply.

My problem is that the more I know about life, or a person, or a situation, the less easy I find it to love. It is much easier for me to love people in principle than to love them specifically. That isn’t universally true, but it’s true enough to concern me.

I can easily

See the flaws

Find the challenges

Think about how I would handle things better than they have

And knowledge of God, of the bible, of the way things should be can actually make that worse, not better.  So I remind myself that God doesn’t behave that way.  He is all knowing – he sees faults that I am completely blind to in me and in others.  And he is all loving. He doesn’t use his knowledge as a blunt instrument or barrier.  He sees all and decides to give all.  He loves anyway.  And so should I.

So I remind myself:  knowledge of God without the love of God isn’t God.

So today, I need to not just know…I need to love.

How about you?  How do you see this dynamic at work in your life?

Confession is a lost art.  Blame?  Not so much.

I find that there’s a link between how well I confess and how often I blame others and justify myself.  Avoiding confession allows me to think the fault lies with someone else.  Confessing my sins helps me realize that I am certainly part (if not nearly all) the problem.

That’s important as a Christ follower but essential as a leader.  Leaders who blame

poison the culture

demotivate their team; and

stunt their organization’s progress.

All of this happens when we are unwilling to humble ourselves, own our shortcomings, seek help and ask for guidance.  Lack of confession stunts our growth as a Christ follower, person and leader.  It just does.

Here are five questions that help me as I think through the issue of confession:

1. Is confession a regular part of my prayer life?
2. Am I defensive about an issue?  Chances are there is something God wants to deal with lying under my defensiveness.
3. Is my confession specific (I did or thought X yesterday) or general? The more specific it is the more effective it is.
4. Am I quick to apologize to the people I  serve?
5. Have I stopped blaming ‘others’ ‘factors’ and ‘forces’ as the reason me, our team or our organization isn’t making progress on an issue?

On the other side of confession is authenticity, transparency, humility, responsibility and progress.

What are you learning about confession? What questions help you focus on the issue?

…expands.

I learned this gem from a corporate coach a number of years back.  It’s just so true.

What you focus on expands.

If you focus on the negative, you tend to see the negative. If you focus on the positive, you tend to see the positive.

Think about all the things you can focus on:

Fear

Hope

Christ

Evil

Doubt

Faith

Suspicion

Trust

Scarcity

Abundance

Our focus can go in so many directions.

Focusing on one thing doesn’t mean the opposite disappears.  Focusing on faith doesn’t eliminate doubt, but it might mean you tend to linger there less and your faith grows more.

I know in my own life if I become worried I can almost create a problem to walk into.  If I become focused on evil I might forget that Christ is near.

What you are focusing on in your life will tend to expand.  And what you’re focusing your family, team or organization on will expand too.  Your focus eventually shapes you character, your outlook and the culture in your home, family, organization or department and ultimately in your life.

What will you focus on today?  And how has this principle operated in your life?