Earlier this week we had a look at seven things that won’t fuel your passion, which leaves this lurking question:  what will fuel your passion?

Here is one thing I’ve found that answers that question better than anything:

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

Face it, there are far more than seven things that won’t fuel your passion. Life is full of events, people and situations that drain passion from us. Sometimes it happens instantly.  Sometimes it’s a slow drain over time. 

In fact, we probably can’t produce enough defence to ward off all the attacks on passion that will hit us over time.  As soon as we think we’ve got it figured out, something hits from an angle we hadn’t anticipated. 

That’s why a sustained offence might be all the defence we need. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life. 

Increasingly for me, remembering this is becoming a daily thing I pay attention to.  Staying passionate over the long haul is a life commitment for me.  I never want to retire (even if I one day retire).  I never want to hit ‘cruise control’ on my calling, spiritual walk, parenting, friendships or marriage.  I want to bring my best every day, add value to those around me, be a constant student of what I see, experience and hear, and for that, staying passionate is essential. 

That may not seem like an ‘answer’, but it’s a principle that I think can guide anyone through various seasons of heart stagnation.  When I find my passion waning, I increasingly see it as a heart matter, and I start a conversation with God, often with Toni, and often with close friends about it. 

The longer I’m alive, the more intentional I need to become about it.  If you don’t stay intentional about how you live, you’ll hit a default mode that is far below the potential God sees in you.

How about you?  What do you do to guard your heart?  What do you do to stay passionate season after season?

When my heart is alive and elastic, it’s because I’m paying attention to this principle.  When my heart is hardening or growing dead, it’s because I’m ignoring it. 
 

The longer you’re in leadership, the more aware you become of what really fuels passion over the long haul.  The question that drives me (a lot) these days is this:  How do you stay passionate over a long period of time?

Some things fuel passion in the short term, but they don’t last.  Two things often fuel passion in leaders in the short term:

1. First.  When you’re a young leader, doing something for the first time can feel like passion.  Your first team, first successes, first failures, first learnings, first accomplishments.
2. New.  Every time you start something new you get passionate.  That’s why some leaders love change.  Sometimes leaders love change too much.  Sometimes we change not because the organization needs change, but because we got bored.

That’s all good, but you get to a point after a few years where you realize life isn’t a series of firsts or a series of new.  What then?  Sometimes, leaders try to find substitutes for authentic passion.  Here are five more things that won’t fuel your passion long term: 

1. Caffeine.   If you haven’t got much deep down passion, caffeine is a cheap substitute. Whether it’s Red Bull, Starbucks or some monster energy, getting the juices flowing just feels so good.  It can make you feel excited even if you’re not. 
2. Overscheduling.   If a leader isn’t excited about anything big (no big challenge on the radar), one temptation is to fill life up with too many little things.  So we overbook, overwork and over commit hoping to rekindle some energy and momentum.
3. Hype.  Feeling a lack of passion deep down, we’ll try to convince ourselves and everyone else that what we’re doing is the BEST THING EVER, even when we’re not sure it is. 
4. Time off.  If you’re not engaged deep down, leaders will sometimes just wander away, spending less and less time engaging in what they’ve been called to do.
5. Find a New (Side) Passion.  If you’re not passionate about the main thing, you’ll find something else to be passionate about – whether that’s building the biggest deck in history in your backyard or starting a new ministry on the side.

All of it’s sad, because you’re not really doing the thing God called you to do. Because you don’t have the passion for it anymore.  And the things that you thought fueled passion weren’t really doing it.  

It also avoids the hard soul work that actually fuels long term passion.  Later this week, I’ll come back with some thoughts on how to stay passionate over the long haul doing the same thing you were called to do in the first place.

Until then – what are you learning about passion?  What sidelines your passion? What did you think might work that didn’t work?

The longer I’m in leadership, the more I realize so much hangs on the ability to say no.  

I don’t like saying no.  It’s hard to say no to your kids, to people you like.  Honestly, it’s even hard to say no to the people you may not be as fond of.  

As a leader, it’s hard to say no to opportunities and to possibilities.  It’s hard to say no to just about anything. 

When you start out in leadership, there tend to be few opportunities, so it’s easy to jump at whatever comes your way. I had time to respond to everyone who wanted a visit, needed advice or wanted a slice of my time.

And I loved studying ministry models and ideas.  When you have no plan, every idea sounds like it could get you somewhere.  

But most of us reach a point where the opportunities outweigh the time available:

• Your ministry grows, and suddenly where there were 100 people hoping for your help before, there are now 500.
• More outside leaders are asking questions and engaging in conversation.
• At home, multiple kids with multiple activities pull you in all kinds of directions.
• More ideas present themselves than you have time to implement, and not all of them will take you down a a consistent or helpful path. 

And that leaves a lot of us feeling paralyzed.  As a result, a lot of us just get stuck. We try to care for 500 people with the same methods and schedule as when we had 100 people.  But we get too busy, and they are increasingly disappointed. We’re working harder than ever before but making less progress.  It’s frustrating for everyone.  

It also creates a barrier to further progress and development.  You’ll never have enough time to perfect or become excellent at anything because you’re trying to do everything.  And- ironically- you will disappoint a growing people because you’re trying to please everybody. 

What if saying no is the best way to resolve this pattern? As hard as it is for me, I’ve had to learn to cut out so much of what I used to do so I can focus on the few things I need to do and do best. When the staff and elders have discussed the way I best contribute to Connexus, the feedback seems to be that I’m best at communicating, casting vision and leading a team. I’m going to try to spend 80% of my time doing that. Which means I’m cutting out a lot of what I used to do even four years ago.

Moving to a small group structure and to outside counselling referrals allows us to care for over 1000 regular attenders at Connexus and frees people up to be counselled by someone who’s, well, good at it.  Releasing our staff to care for their teams means more people get cared for.  Me saying no to doing it myself results in a bigger yes for everyone. 

This week is the first week in a new experiment for me.  I’m spending Mondays and Wednesday working at home – very few interruptions.  I’m trying to get ahead on message series, message writing, blogging and spend time preparing for meetings.  Two days a week I’ll be in the office, mostly meeting with staff, elders and other leaders. I’m also trying to squeeze a full day off into the mix – which will honestly be new for me.  Wish it wasn’t, but it is. 

The net result is that I’m saying no more than I ever have before. It means I can’t meet with everyone I’d like to meet with or do everything that comes my way.  But, ironically, but saying no to some things will mean I can say a bigger yes to the things I’m best at.  It means instead of simply relying on a natural gifting in some areas (communication and vision casting come fairly naturally), I can actually develop those gifts to a greater potential.  It means when I’m present with the staff, leaders and elders, I’ll be more focused, more prepared and hopefully have a far more meaningful exchange.  It hopefully means we’ll all get better.  That’s how no leads to a much greater yes.

There’s no rocket science in this post – I know we all know this.  But what amazes me is how hard it is to actually do.

Do you find that?  Tell me about your journey?  How has saying no helped you say yes?  Why do you find it difficult or easy to say no?