So January is almost here.  You’ve got resolutions…so do I.  How do you handle it?  I used to make a list and forget about most of them by March.

Over the last few years, here are some changes I’ve made to how I think about personal change that I thought I’d share.  So far, I’m finding this approach bears more fruit.  Here’s what I’ve been doing:

• Reflect constantly. Self-awareness is key to understanding.  Over the last year, I’ve sought feedback from my wife, my kids, our leadership team, staff, elders, mentors and others.  I’m always seeking to grow and learn.  I also am integrating personal growth into my prayer life.   Keeping a running tab of the issues you are working on can help select a few focal points.  Who do you have in your life that is giving you honest feedback on strengths and weaknesses?
• Start early. Our leadership team did a complete strategic plan for 2010 back in October/November 09.  I’ve been in ‘what can I do differently/better’ mode for a few months now.    It isn’t January first yet.  Take a few days to reflect, pray, consult and identify a few areas.
• Get a system. Life is busy.  I have a lot of inboxes and some days get more messages than I think I can handle.  When that happens, I live out of ‘reactive’ mode.  The urgent always wins out over the important.  As soon as that starts to happen, I start the slow slide to dropping balls. Two weeks ago on a flight (airplanes are great workspace), I completely reprogrammed my Things app, which I use as a project management/to do list.   I organized my life into areas of responsibility and projects, and entered every imaginable task and issue I’m facing into a series of neatly organized, time sensitive task list.  I’m two weeks into this system and love it.  Way fewer dropped balls.  Far ahead of where I would have been without it.  Whatever system you use is up to you.  I just know I need a system.
• Narrow the focus. I can’t get better at everything, but here are five areas I want to make progress in during 2010:
  • Focused Family Time.  Between my lap top and iPhone, I can be working far too much.  I’m going to shut it down more often at night and be fully focused on my family.  Work when I work.  Play when I play.  I thought I was doing better than I was at this, so a change is needed.
  • Clearer Messages. I preach over 35 messages per year and do conferences and other talks on top of that.  The best path to clarity for me is to spend time planning a message weeks or months before I give it.  Clarity is hard work.  I want to be in front of series, talks and messages than I ever have been.
  • Lose the Last 10 Pounds. I joined a gym to kick off 09 and lost 15 pounds this year, but I’m still at least 10-15 pounds above where I need to be.  For me that means diet.  Self control, self control, self control.  (That’s a spiritual discipline, isn’t it?)  This will no doubt be the hardest goal in 2010, because I haven’t been under 200 pounds since I was in college.  Here we go.
  • Become a Better Manager I have no trouble leading an organization and am passionate about casting vision for our mission, but I struggle in management.  I want to stay focused on my strengths, but the reality is I will serve the people I work with much better if I develop stronger follow up and better attention to organizational detail.  Reorganizing my Things app was a first step in the right direction. I’ll be looking for constant improvement and constant feedback on this in 2010.
  • Deepen My Prayer Life. Scripture reading was a major focus for 2009, and the passion in my Bible reading is probably at an all time high.  I want to see a deeper, more intimate prayer life emerge.  Not sure how to accomplish this, but God has a way of partnering with you when you seek Him more deeply.  So I’ll keep at it.
• Keep your goals in sight all year. If you’re only working on a few things (I’ve got five), you can make progress more easily than if you were trying to do 10.  Because there are only five, I can keep them on my dashboard all year long.

Those are thoughts on how I plan for the new year.  How do you do it?  What are some best practices that have helped you?

So we rolled with our Christmas Eve services and I think our Service Programming team (the sweet team that creates our services) did a great job straddling the tension between giving people what they want and delivering what people need.  As last week’s post pointed out, Christmas is an especially tough service to plan.

So what did we do (many of you were asking)?

• We opened the service with Led Zeppelin’s Rock and Roll.  The band did a great job, and people hung in the tension of liking what they were hearing but realizing this really wasn’t Christmas music.
• We had a ‘producer’ interrupt the band two minutes in the song and tell them they couldn’t play it because people had come for Christmas.
• The band then regrouped, and starting playing Rock and Roll again, only this time subbing in Christmas lyrics.
• I got up, cut them off and told them they had to play real Christmas music (at one of the services, people started calling out for more Zeppelin)…welcomed everyone and launched into some Christmas tunes.
• Musically, we then did some rearranged Christmas carols (like Chris Tomlin’s version of Angels We Have Heard on High).  We brought out some dancers who did a couple of kid versions of some Christmas songs to actions, and closed the service with Robbie Seay Band’s Go Outside and O Holy Night.
• The message was simple and fairly short (20 minutes).  Everyone got an invitation that was handwritten by someone at Connexus.  It simply said “My name is _______ and I want you to know that you are invited to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ”.  My message was simply that Christmas is the greatest interruption in human history accompanied by the greatest invitation in human history.  We invited people to respond to the invitation.

What I loved about the service this year was how the opener surprised people, caught them off guard and got them engaged in the first few minutes.  It was a bridge for people with little church background, and in many ways, modeled the message.  We interrupted the song…God interrupted history… we handed out a personal invitation…so did God.  We hoped it would work, but as usual, you don’t know until it’s all happening live.  I loved the kids’ dance too because it helped the kids stay engaged and gave the younger kids music they loved.  Plus it helped families see that we sink some significant time and resources into families.

I was so thrilled with our community…we asked people to invite friends and family and they did.  Being a portable church is hard and when you can’t even meet where you normally meet for Christmas services, it makes it even more difficult for a crowd to find you Christmas eve.  But our Christmas eve attendance has doubled in the last two years and was up 50% from last year alone – all because people told their friends.  We’ll plan for over 1000 attenders next year.

So that was Christmas.  If you were at Connexus, what did you think?  If you weren’t, please share some thoughts or share what your church did.  We’re always learning and would love to hear.

Christmas is an unusual holiday for Christians and church leaders.  It’s actually the only time of year in our communities where what happens in culture and what happens in church line up (even sort of). December is the only month you can hear songs about Jesus playing in malls.  Sure, there are more ‘happy holidays’ and ‘seasons greetings’  than in the past, but come on, when else do you hear “Christ is born today” at Walmart?

That creates an interesting problem for those of who plan church services.  Let me explain.  Almost everyone kind of knows the Christmas story, and almost everyone expects to hear it at Christmas at church.  And herein lies the dilemma. If you merely tell the Christmas story and play into people’s expectations, my feeling is the power of the story gets lost.  But if you don’t play into expectations (sing some familiar carols and tell at least some aspect of the Christmas story), people disconnect from what you are doing.

We have this phrase that we use when planning our services:  discerning what people want, delivery what people need.  It’s hardest to fulfill that intention at Christmas.

Put simply:  there are certain things most church leaders feel like we have to do to make it a Christmas service, but if we do them, Christmas may lose it’s punch. If all the service is is a few songs people want to sing and a familiar message, people walk away completely unchanged.   Does that make sense?

Our team struggles every year to present Christmas in a powerful, meaningful, relevant way.  We try to tell the story without losing the power of the story.  How do you help people get over what they want so they can get what they need?

If you are a fan of Christmas services, how do you manage that tension?

We do a few things.  We try to use surprise as an element in the service (wait till you hear the Christmas Eve opener on Thursday).  If we catch people off guard, they listen better.  When we do use traditional songs, we rock them up (a lot).  I try to find an angle on the Christmas message that is a little less common but still gets to the essence of Christmas.

What are some things you’ve done, thought about, or seen that are great ways to cut through this dilemma?

I just posted some questions that excite me on the Connexus blog.  I love it when people ask me about what I’m preaching on a particular Sunday.  In so many cases, they’re asking because they are bringing a friend and want to know in advance that it’s going to be a great day.

I get excited because it means they get our mission and they are the kind of people who are helping us make a dent in the vast community of unchurched people around us.

Our questions tell a story about us.  You can tell alot about a person by the questions they ask (see Michael Hyatt’s great post on this earlier this year).  My favourite leaders are the ones who ask the questions that stretch current thinking and break down paradigms.

It’s true in the congregational context too. When someone asks you "What’s your stance on how the rapture and tribulation will unfold?"  it tells you something about that person.  (They are probably churched, and may have left their last church over a doctrinal issue).

When a leader asks "How can we share the credit with our volunteers/other staff?" it tells me they are more concerned about the team and less about their individual success.  It also means they’re the kind of leader I love to be around.  I love it when high capacity leaders ask ‘How can I serve?" (the best leaders are the best servants). 

How about you?  What are some of the favourite questions you’ve asked, love to get asked, or have been asked?  What are some of your least favourite?

So I’m going to share a little piece of my world with you today.

One of the hardest battles I face internally is related to my heart.  Like you, I’m most effective when my heart is fully engaged.

But over time, it takes work to keep your heart fully engaged.  It usually unfolds this way – starting out, you give your heart (to someone, something, some worthy cause) and at some point, you get stung.  People you trusted let you down.  People say nasty things. Sure, it wasn’t all their fault.  But regardless, it didn’t turn out as you expected. 

You soldier on.  You give your heart again, only to discover that people and life truly is a mixture of hope and disappointment. And somewhere in the process our hearts get damaged. 

The last three years (leaving a denomination and starting a church) have been incredibly rewarding in ministry but have also included the most challenging passages I’ve had to navigate. 

I found myself in a dialogue with God this fall asking Him to give me 100 passion for ministry.  I had a commitment to ministry, even an excitement over it.  But I felt my passion wasn’t where I longed for it to be.  Not sure everyone around me saw it, but I promise you inside I felt it.  I was puzzled.

I prayed about it and talked to a few people about it and then one night, I believe God showed me so clearly what the issue was – it was my heart. Having been stung a few times, I think it had quietly shrunk back – not wanting to be hurt again. It may have been 90% there, but 10% was hiding out in the back, cautious, reserved.

Late one night as I was praying with my wife and some friends, it was as though I heard God nudge me to say "I’m in, if you’re in."   It was a weird message, for sure.   Why would God not be "in"?  Maybe it was the nudge I need to get going.  Maybe it’s a reflection of God’s character – He usually partners with people and prefers not to do things alone (see 2 Corinthians 5). 

But I realized if God was in it, I had nothing to fear.  That what I need to do most is fully throw myself into this – every last ounce.  Every bit of this constantly-beating heart.

After all, don’t you love seeing someone whose heart is in it?  Whether it’s a hockey player, a chef, or a kid in a Christmas play, the people who bring their whole hearts to whatever they do are not only more interesting to watch, they are better people to follow and do life with.  They are fully alive.

So, here’s my heart.  It’s fully engaged.  I’m putting it out there every day. I know I’ll need to do that again, but I’m doing it now.

How about you?  Does your heart get banged around?  Does it shrink back after attack?  What do you need to throw your heart into: your marriage, your family, your ministry, your job?  God is in it, what’s keeping you back?  What would help you fully engage your heart?

I know the world has bigger issues, but I had to ask.

We are almost at the end of a this decade and there’s no accepted name for it. It’s hard to believe we’ve gotten nine full years into it, billions of people have lived through it, and no one has named it anything remotely widespread.

We talk about the eighties, the nineties, the sixties, and I’m pretty sure we’ll call the decade ahead "the teens" or "the tens" or something.  I’m feel like we’re in that awkward space we were ten years ago when no one could simply say "2000" but felt like they had to say "the year 2000".  Remember that? We’re such a strange bunch.

But what do you call this decade?  Yep, you can read about the ‘oughts’ the ‘zeroes’ the ‘naughts’, but they sound so lame to me. Do they sound just weird to you too? The 2000s is my lead contender, but even it sounds weird.

Maybe we should call this decade ‘the decade of which we shall not speak" or "that ten year period between 2000 and 2010"?  Okay, maybe not.

What will you call it?  Any great ideas out there?

Most of us are running in top gear a surprising percentage of the time.  We feel like we need to do it because we have to accomplish things – even things for God.

Question:  does your input exceed your output?

If you are even a bit driven (like many of us are), you and I will be tempted to measure everything by output.  Did we produce?  Did we hit all the deadlines, create new goals, climb new mountains? What are we accomplishing?

But what I realize more and more is that for long term value and sustainability, my input has to be greater than my output, or at least equal my output.  It’s like a car.  If you hope to travel hundreds of kilometers, you better have a tank full of gas.  If you try to run your automotive output higher than your input, you end up sitting at the side of the road going nowhere.

Jesus mastered the art of input.  I am still stunned that he only ministered for three years and yet turned the world upside down.  You don’t even have to be a Christ-follower to acknowledge that Jesus left a huge impact. 

I’m pretty sure one of the reasons his three years counted for so much was because he prepared for them for 30 years.  Ten parts preparation to one part execution.  Suck on that mint for a while.

Did he need to?  Well, we know that by age 12, he was wowing the religious brass.  Couldn’t he have launched out at 13?  I guess. 

But he wanted more time with his Father. He really valued God’s input and knew his mission would require full focus.  The Gospels are a story of everyone but His Heavenly Father trying to throw him off mission.

Jesus actually never stopped getting input. Even during the three years, he would simply disappear on his disciples.  He’d withdraw to pray all night.  He launched his ministry not with a killer message, but with a 40 day desert retreat. 

His input was so significant that his output was bound to have incredible quality.

Can we learn something from that? 

Um, I think so.  I know I can.  The longer I’m at this, the more I need to spend time not doing ministry so I can end up doing what I hope is meaningful in ministry.  I don’t think that’s just a ministry thing – it’s a life thing.  It’s how God designed us.

If your output exceeds your input, you will no longer be a leader worth listening to or following.  If your output exceeds your input, you will eventually run out of anything worth saying.

What do you think?  Do you agree?  Why do you think most of us (me included) find it so hard to slow down and tap into great input?

Some great discussion on the blog and even some Facebook comments on this week’s Bad Church post.

If you’re like me, it’s so much easier to spot what’s wrong than to engage what’s right.  In part that’s human nature, in part it’s a product of being disappointed more than once, as Irene so aptly pointed out.

I’m still amazed that Jesus has put his hope in the church. I sometimes wish he stop using people to reach people, communicate universally or do something to take human error out of the mix. But you can’t read the New Testament and come to any other conclusion that the church is God’s chosen instrument.

So let’s turn the tables and ask: what makes a good church?  I’m not talking about creating a church where people who are already Christian have a ‘better’ time than at their old church.  That actually makes me sick to my stomach to think about planting another one of those.

I’m talking about a church that 90% of the population who doesn’t go to church might attend – a gathering where they might enter a growing relationship with Jesus.

So in your experience, what makes a good church?  What would make unchurched people come running?  I think we’d be surprised at how many people like – or are intrigued by -  Jesus.  What can we do better that would allow the church to be far more effective?

Thoughts?

Everyone who’s been to church has had a bad church experience.

Sure, you can find exceptions to the rule.  But most of the people you’ll meet won’t be the exception, they’ll be the rule.

What if you and I, in all of our interactions (personal and organizational), behaved as if that was true?  How would it change us?

Some thoughts:

1.  We might be more honest.  I’ve taken to telling people who are new to Connexus and new to faith that we will disappoint them.  We are a very human community, but my hope is that we will be able to admit it, own it, and deal with it honestly.

2.  We might plan around it.  We would take disillusionment as the norm, not as a surprise. If your assumption is that people have been burned, you react with more openness, more compassion and more transparency. 

3.  We would confess more honestly.  If you can admit your failures, you’re one step closer to solving them.  What we won’t confess won’t get dealt with.  Embracing our fallen-ness better prepares us to embrace our redemption.

Been burned by bad church?  What would help you overcome the sting and want to be part of an authentic community?  What could you do as a leader to help overcome it?

Talking to a friend of mine last week who shared a blunt observation: every organization faces one of two options – slow death or deep change.

It hit me hard because it was so stark.  But it also hit me hard because it’s so true.

Even successful organizations who are not intentionally going through deep change are headed toward slow death.  Now occassionally we find ourselves part of a movement that is not heading toward slow death, but rapid death.  That’s easy to spot.

But what if every successful, moderately successful or plateaued organization embraced the concept that the two choices facing them were deep change or slow death?  In fact, the more successful you are, the more seriously you need to take this truth. The greatest disincentive to change is success, because people only change with the pain associated with the status quo is greater than the pain associated with change.  No pain, no change.  And if you are successful today, why change?

Slow death…deep change.

Got me thinking into 2010 and beyond.  How are we going to change?  If we (and every church) keep missing the 90% of the population of Central Ontario that don’t go to church, what will we change?

Even got me thinking personally, how am I going to change as a leader?

Slow death or deep change.  Do you agree?  What do you think most needs to be changed?