On our way today to Grand Rapids Michigan to meet with several dozen church leaders who want to talk family ministry.  It probably won’t bring us a break in the cold snap we’re going through here in the north (Grand Rapids really has the same weather as we do).

I’m stoked because we get to meet with about 75 church leaders who want to talk about family ministry.  As a Canadian, that’s inspiring because it’s hard to find 75 church leaders in Canada who connect casually about anything.

There are far fewer churches (and hence far fewer church leaders) in Canada than in the U.S., even if you measure per capita rather than in raw numbers.  That’s why I get very excited when Canadian church leaders get together too.  Next week, I’ll spend half a day with eight lead pastors from Ontario as we meet to discuss common issues.  Earlier this month, I spend half a day with a different group of Toronto area pastors for the same purpose.  Canadian church leaders need to get together more often!  Our denominations are all over the map, but our cause is the same. We need each other.

Hey — can I ask you for a favour?  Today, pray for church leaders everywhere.  As I meet leaders all over the place, I find they are usually under-encouraged and in need of all the support they can get.  When we pray, pool our efforts and support each other, amazing things happen — like the Kingdom of God advances.  Thanks in advance for that today!

Confession is good for the soul. Even in community.

I got together with a really good friend earlier today and we were chatting about life.  He decided to drill down on some issues I was facing and got to the heart of some of my issues with unbelievable speed and care.  He made me think about things I honestly hadn’t thought about, and by the time we wrapped up our time together, I had a whole new insight into what I needed to do to make two situations better.  Both of them dealt with attitudes I needed to change — even confess.  I’m not sure I ever would have gotten their on my own.  Thank God for true friends.

The scripture encourages us to talk about our sins and shortcomings when we come together.  I’m so grateful for this good friend.  I’m so grateful for people who love me enough to make me feel I can be honest about where I’m at.

The sad part is that for many of us, community is broken enough that there isn’t always someone we can confide in.  Like many of you, I’ve had several people over the years I’ve confided in only to have that relationship somehow get damaged badly.  That stings…and it’s tempting to just stop trusting people. Period.

Today, I just left grateful that there are people in my life today with whom I track deeply enough with to talk about anything and everything, and to even to talk about my sin with.  Who love me enough to care about that stuff and still care about me — junk and all.  I left thankful that I haven’t stopped trusting, despite past hurt.  I’m thankful that the counsel of the Bible isn’t just true — it’s actually helpful.

Who are you running with?  Can you still trust people deeply enough to talk to someone about real stuff? What bugs you about community, and what potential do you see in letting other people help you on your journey?

Love the comments so far…thanks!

So here’s more breakdown on my issue, when I move from "pole" to "pole" in confession.  At some points, I’m so aware of my sin that I get stuck there — believing that given my state God can’t use me for anything.  This can lead to paralysis.  Jesus didn’t die for our sin merely so we would be aware of our sin or sorry for it.  He died to conquer it.  To kill it.  To put it to death so life, not death, could reign in our bodies and lives.

When I’m at the other extreme and not in confession mode at all and probably want to run a small universe on my own power, I’m in double trouble.  Not only do I miss what’s really going on (I am sinning and making mistakes), but I’m missing grace and missing real power. Confession isn’t an act of punishment, it’s an act of mercy motivated by love on God’s part.  When I don’t confess, I miss that completely. 

Christ’s real power comes when I can own up to who I really am and realize that in Him this is not who I need to be.  He has a better way — there is hope, and it is possible today to live in that reality of forgiveness and possibility (change) in this moment, right now.

What are the rest of you thinking?  What’s the struggle for you? Share more of your stories…your journal.  I’d like to dig deeper. 

I’ve been thinking about how we confess our sins these days…planning a message series on it for Connexus later in 08, and thinking about preaching a series on this literally for years.  As we head into Easter next month, I’m thinking it might be good to blog a bit about it.

When it comes to talking to God and others about your sin, what’s your approach?  Are you a frequent flyer on the subject, or is it more like a trip to the museum (rare and a bit boring)?

For me, I tend to oscillate between confessing a bit excessively (if that’s possible) and confessing little to nothing.  One can lead to despair and lack of hope; the other to pride and indifference.  Neither is healthy.

What’s your experience with confession?  Do you confess your sins a lot, a little, rarely? What do you find frustrating about the subject.

P.S. I wonder if I should call this the lost post of confession.  I wrote
this post early this morning and it completely disappeared.  Wonder if
the subject is a threat to anyone/anything. Or maybe I hit the delete key.  I rewrote it because I know I need to talk
about it anyway!

Had some good days last week. Working like crazy with enough writing to do to last a life time (it seems), but I took some great days with my kids to take advantage of prime winter.  The boys and I went snowmobiling (told the story Sunday at Connexus).

But I also took Jordan and Sam skiing at Blue Mountain in Collingwood on Friday.  That was a cool thing in two ways. 

First, it’s the best ski hill in southern Ontario.  Second, I stared an old enemy in the face. 

Back in my university days, we went up to Blue.  I was something like 22 and had never skied in my life.  I got the rental package, steeled myself for the bunny hill, but couldn’t make it up the poma lift – the kind that kind of just catches you and pulls you up.  It’s spring loaded, but I didn’t move.  The pressure built up so badly that eventually it threw me into the snowbank on the side, and that was it for me.  The end of my skiing career.

Later that year I met Toni, my wife, who’s an awesome skier.  Slowly over the years, I learned how to ski.  But Friday was my first trip back to Blue — and it was nice to be back at the place of defeat and this time, ski all day with my guys.  Nice – in so many ways.

seconds after hitting "post" on my insomniac piece, I get tired.  it’s like "whump" – tired hit me.  maybe one of you read it and prayed for me. maybe it was the cow. in any event, thanks.

any way, i’m now officially much too tired for all this.  i’ll write in the morning.  thanks for listening.

sometimes i think i’m too weird and unstable to really be doing what God has called me to do….but maybe a good night’s sleep will cure that

good nite….

It’s 1:26 a.m., and for whatever reason, I can’t sleep.  I can’t actually remember more than one other time in my life where I’ve been this awake this late (go ahead nighthawks…mock me).  I’ve been up many, many times, this late, but usually by this point I’m reaching for the toothpicks to prop my eyelids open. Not tonight.  I could drive to Oregon.  (Actually, maybe that’s a good idea.)

To make it worse, I think I’m having writer’s block.  I can blog about not sleeping and having writer’s block, but I can’t write my message for Sunday.  That’s just stupid.  Wide awake but I can’t do what I’m supposed to do. Nuts. 

I’ve fallen into this terrible pattern of planning my messages and series in my head months and weeks in advance.  I actually think I have over 18 months worth of sermon series I’m actually excited about floating in my head right now and on bits of paper, and probably half a dozen messages among them almost fully formed.  But that doesn’t help me tonight.

Two weeks ago, I had this Sunday’s message completely mapped out in my head and on three sheets of paper.  But i can’t write it down this week.  I can’t bring it home.  I’m praying about it and excited about it, but it’s like it just won’t write.  But I feel like there’s gold in it.  So is that nuts or what?  Maybe I need to be examined.

Had to tell someone about my frustration.  Absolutely no one’s awake to talk to.  Not in East Oro Ontario anyway.  Not even the cows in the field across the road (East Oro is so small, we count cows in our population count).

Must have been the two lattes in Toronto earlier today and the full moon tonight that did me in.  Drat, I wish I could write right now.

One of the main things I encounter when I run into church leaders is discouragement. It’s endemic to the calling.  Every leader I know struggles with this from time to time.

Four of the key sources of discouragement I see are:

• Our own mistakes – and criticism that results from it.
• Unjustified criticism – there’s plenty of that in the church, which can be a harbour for a tiny group of people who are simply nasty about a lot of things.
• The pain of betrayal or broken relationships.  It just happens in relationships and in ministry.
• Lack of progress in ministry.

Discouragement nips at my heels in seasons. If I’m not careful, it can start to be crippling.  There have been seasons where I’ve stopped believing that God actually called me to this or has an investment in this.  Those seasons are short, but they’re real. And if discouragement festers, it can lead to a real leadership crisis.

I felt discouragement tugging at my heels again recently.  I decided in the last week not to ignore it…but to fight it.  And not just to fight it, but to kick it in the teeth, in the most holy kind of way you might kick something in the teeth until the teeth shatter into a million fragments.  That kind of kick it in the teeth.

How are you doing today?  Discouraged?  Kick it in the teeth.  Read up on Moses.  Study Jesus on the way to the cross.  Think about Paul’s life.  Easy? Nope.  Worth it? You bet. You called to this?  You really think the Kingdom of God is going to flourish if thousands of us wimp out or decide we’d rather watch tv?

Remember we have an enemy.  He wants to grind us down.  Kick him where it hurts, in the…teeth.  Hard.

Leaders and leading churches are such an encouragement.  At least they encourage me. 

Solomon was right, there really is nothing new under the sun.  Every time I think that I had an original idea, I just need to tap into the wider community and realize someone else has had it too, and probably expressed it better. That should never stop anyone from thinking bold thoughts and declaring them with courage, but being part of a much wider community is humbling and reassuring.  Hey, doesn’t the Bible say something about all wisdom being from God anyway or something like that?

Here are some of churches and church leaders that I track with and who encourage and teach me:

• North Point Community Church has had a huge influence on me as a leader as has Reggie Joiner’s work there and now with Orange and ReThink.  Reggie Joiner doesn’t blog (but he facebooks!) Andy Stanley doesn’t have his own blog, but he reads them. Both these leaders have had a huge impact on me personally and (no kidding), every time I’m in the room with them, I wish 100 other leaders were there to hear what they have to say. They’ve processed and prayed through things at an incredible level.  My notebook’s always open when I’m around them.  A few years ago Andy and Reggie and Lane Jones wrote The Seven Practices of Effective Ministry.  Best ministry book I ever read to this day.

• Buckhead Church in Atlanta is a campus of North Point Ministries.  Jeff Henderson, their lead pastor is an incredible leader and blogs the journey daily.  One of the best leaders of people I’ve ever met.

• I also track closely with a few North Point partners.  Here are some I didn’t hit on yesterday. Rich Barrett leads Access Church in Florida. Eddie Johnson (recovering from the chick-fil/video church scandal) is lead at Cumberland Church in Nashville. I also follow what’s up with  Wiregrass Church in Dothan, Alabama and Athens Church in Athens Georgia.  Wish Troy Foutain at Wiregrass and Sean Seay at Athens blogged!  Scott Tanskley of strategic partner world (and a brand new dad) blogs at HippoChurch.  Tank is so insightful.  I love the entire crew at NP, but these are the ones I’m in most regular contact with.  And although he just joined facebook last week and doesn’t write a blog, make sure you get around David McDaniel, the Director of Campus Development at North Point.  He’s so wise and strategic.  It will humble and scare you.

• Swerve is the leadership blog of lifechurch.tv, an innovative multi-site church based out of Oklahoma.  Craig Groeschel is a great leader.  Even had the chance to have lunch with him and his wife Amy couple of years ago.  Top quality.

• Gotta love and admire The Meeting House in Toronto.  Not only are they incredibly kingdom-minded (so first class when Rich Birch left their staff to join Connexus), but any church that can reach 4000 on a weekend in Canada and make a huge attempt to help Africa is outstanding.  Tim Day, their lead pastor, and Bruxy Cavey, their first-rate teaching pastor, are continually gracious, strategic and helpful.

• Gotta love that Elevation Church in Charlotte.  Love it or otherwise, it’s happening.  Deal with it!

• From the "I’d really love to meet him one day" category is Mark Batterson at National Church in Washington D.C.  Never met him. Like him more after every blog post. 

There.  Any more and I’d be writing credits of the liner notes for a CD or an acceptance speech for some show: And I’d also like to thank my wife Toni, my kids Jordan and Sam, and God, and my parents and my grade one teacher who drove the purple Gremlin….

Once again, who inspires you?

Over the last six months, some people have sent me some link-love…references to my site on theirs.  Moving into the blogosphere six months ago myself, I’ve learned a lot from a lot of people. 

Here are some (not all) of the people I read and learn from:

• Jay Hardwick is a friend a church planter in Colombia SC who is challenging to read, learn from and be entertained by.  Jay, more than anyone, helped me get this blogging thing figured out when I started getting into it (you probably didn’t know that Jay!)

• Casey Ross is on my daily read list.  Casey the very wise, smart and very insightful lead pastor at Catalyst Church in Greenville SC and a brother in the North Point strategic partner world.  (Jay and Casey used to work together.)

• Chris Brown is another leader from North Point world.  I learn a lot from Chris, and think he does an outstanding job leading North Ridge church in Charlotte.  Bet you do too.

• Gary Lamb is a church planter in the southern U.S. who is engaging to track with…I love his wide-ranging mind-dumps and insights.

• Pat Dryburgh is a bright young leader who has a ton going for him. In our time together at Connexus, I was always challenged and motivated by this guy’s gifts and insights.  We continue to track together.

• Patrick Voo is another guy I’ve worked with who was nudged into church planting by this crazy call-of-God thing.  He always makes me think outside of where I’m thinking, and only the Vooman would call his blog the voodoo lounge.

• Chris Vacher is just down the road from us here in Ontario. He is the worship pastor at Orangeville Baptist (Orangeville, Reggie?) and been a big encourager.  I’m excited about what God is doing through them, and frankly, just grateful to find more like-minded Canadian church leaders.  His blog is ChrisfromCanada.

• I love Bryn McPhail.  Bryn and I spent time together in my former denomination, and he’s a guy who’s making a brave and prayerful shift in how he does ministry.  He’s one of the smartest guys I’ve ever met when it comes to solid Reformed theology and church history (seriously), but as a leader he’s come to the realization that to make it work in this day and age, the church needs to get relevant and engage the lost.  Bryn’s blogging his transition.

• Steven Furtick is a crazy, over the top, God-must-be-using him leader I’ve been tracking for about 18 months.  He has led the 2 year old Elevation Church to amazing heights.

Tomorrow, I’ll share some other links.

Who are you reading these days and how do they shape you?