#9: Failing to Confess Sins   

I just don’t hear people talk about confession much any more. (Not like the priest/booth thing…the confess your sins while praying thing).    And honestly, I’m not sure how good my confession prayers really are. I think I’m going to do a major series on confession later in 08 at Connexus.

Confession is so raw..so scary.  It means we stand naked, exposed before God for who we really are. The Bible even says we should confess our sins to each other.  No wonder we duck it.  It’s easier to justify behaviour, blame others, play the victim or just limp along and try again tomorrow.  Confession takes us into the jaws of our own shortcomings.

But it also takes us into the arms of God’s mercy.  Because when we see ourselves for who we really are, we also see God better for who He really is.  And He is merciful….deeply kind and able to love us into change.

What would we Christians be like if we really, deeply confessed our sins?  What would change? How would we be different? 

Confession.  Maybe becoming real with God about who we really are is one of the best catalysts to change we’ve got. 

How’s your confessional life?

Thanks for taking the time to respond to my question about what to blog about, both on the blog and in person.  People seemed inclined to go for my idea.  So here goes.

Remember this is not scientific, not really in order (#9 is not worse than #10 etc.).  It’s just my random but collected thoughts after being a follower of Jesus and pastor for a while.

We’ll start with the top ten traps that I’ve seen Christians fall into. One every day or two for the next while.  Remember, I myself have fallen into all of these at one point or another, so this is in no way an ‘I know better thing’.  We’re all in the same boat.  We just don’t want it to take on water…..

#10. Confusing How You Serve God with Your Identity as a Follower of Jesus
I’ve seen this way too many times.  Serving God is great, and biblical.  But too often we get so hooked on what we do for Him that it becomes our identity in Him.   

We are worshipers of Jesus first, and servants of Him second.  In the church, so many people fuse their identity with what they do (their role) that it becomes deeply unhealthy.

If you got cut from your worship team, stepped back from the usher team, told you weren’t need to do sound again, wouldn’t be leading a small group, or told you wouldn’t be preaching anymore, would your love for God be threatened?  Would you still worship?  Would you dig deep into the Word?  Would you pray with gratitude?  I’ve seen too many people only go to church when they serve or play or preach.  That’s not really worship.  That’s a gig.  Underneath it (often) is a very insecure person who feels they need something to make them "acceptable" or "meaningful".   Nothing could be further from the truth.  We have value — enough for Jesus to die for us.  That should be where we start.

If your service/job could be taken away from you and you could still have full participation in the life of Jesus, then you’ve probably got a healthy attitude toward how you serve God.  You serve Him because you love Him, and you serve Him out of gratitude for what He’s done for you.

How do you combat this trap?  I remind myself virtually every week that what I do is a privilege.  It’s not why God loves me and not why I love Him.  I also read daily bible passages that have nothing to do with what I preach and pray about lots of things that are about "life", not just church.  I remind myself I’m a worshiper first, a servant second, a preacher third.  It helps.  Ironically, when I get that order right, it actually frees me up to serve God far better than when I’ve got it wrong, because when it’s wrong my service is about me, not Him.

Anything in your heart need adjusting?

So, in the spirit of Web 2.0, I ask you a question.  I’ve been wondering what to blog about in January and I’m tempted to go in a particular direction…but it’s a big commitment on both of our parts.  I hate being mr. negative, but I feel like writing for most of the month on two subjects that in the end I hope will be redemptive, not negative (although it could sound that way). 

This morning I wrote list of the top ten traps church leaders/volunteers fall into, and then another list on the top ten traps Christians fall into.  I know, because I’ve been in almost every one of these traps at one point or another.  There’s no science to what makes the lists: just my observations after years of doing this.  But as we start a new year, I know I always like to think about learning how to live differently and more wisely, and the goal would be to catalyze that kind of change through these discussions.

About one trap a day (or five a week) for pretty much the rest of the month.

What do you think?  Boring?  Too negative?  Too whatever?  Could we phrase it differently?  What do you think? (Curious as to what they are?  I’m not telling you in advance. )   

The goal would would be at the end of the month to have had some great reflection, dialogue and hopefully healthier leadership and a healthier following of God among all of us, myself included. 

Fire away.  The floor is yours.   Tell me whether you’d like this or not.

Taking a break mid-way through a family day to blog for a few minutes.  It’s my son Sam’s twelfth birthday today, so we went skiing.  We had some passes that had been given to us (thank you!), so off we went.

I learned to ski as an adult, so the first few runs of the year are always testing grounds. It went well.  But after a few hours, I was reminded that it’s not really the skiing I like as it is the people I get to go with.  The time with Sam and Toni was awesome (Jordan was in driver’s school all day).  I’ll go skiing any day with friends and family, but I thought as far as I’m concerned, I could never ski down a hill again and be content.  It’s the people I enjoy far more than the activity.

I learned that lesson about golf a few years ago.  I’d always loved golf…got totally into it as a teen.  But a few years ago it finally dawned on me that it wasn’t golf I loved…it was that golf reminded me of many hours spent with my dad growing up on golf courses. He and I always used to play golf together as kids. It wasn’t golf that turned my crank (witness my scorecard); it was the company I loved.

Sure, I’m totally grateful for many things to do, but I’d trade it all in any day for relationships I cherish.  Funny that our culture seems to be based on the opposite — that acquisition and experiences are the key to happiness.

I think in heaven, relationship will be central.  I’m not nearly as excited about what it will look like or how we’ll spend our time, but instead I’m thrilled about this: unbroken relationship with God, unbroken relationships with people.  How cool will that be?  I could do that into eternity.

Thanks Sam, for the best gift of all on your birthday — your company.

So it’s New Year’s Day, and I’m trying to build a rink in the front yard for Sam, my hockey-crazy son.  At the same time, I’ve been reading a deeply challenging book on humility and dying to self, by Andrew Murray.   It’s a great juxtaposition.

On Sunday afternoon, to build the base for the rink, I made the first cut of the front lawn with my snowblower — pushing through up to three feet of snow that had been through a freeze-thaw cycle several times.  If you’ve never cut through snow like that before, it’s kind of like pushing your snowblower through concrete or granite.  Took me an hour to cut a single 60 foot path.  My personal frustration window was so high, I’m glad no one was around to let me tell them what I was thinking….

Tonight, I went out and cleared the would-be rink again (it snowed today) and was ready for the first flood.  The hoses were inside, warm and ready to hook up.  After an hour of prep, I hooked the hose up only to discover that my outside tap was busted.  The faucet handle had stripped. I went inside to hook it up to the washing machine tap when Toni told me not to flood the house. Undaunted, I went back outside and thought I would make the outside tap work.  Sure enough, I managed to turn it on.  Except it got stuck on, flooding my driveway and sidewalk with me unable to shut it off.  After several minutes, I finally managed to turn it off. It will stay off.  Got to get to Home Depot tomorrow to get another 100′ of hose to run off the backyard tap. 

Then I got back inside, I learned the video sync for a video blog I spent some time recording earlier today for the Connexus blog is way off.  Plus I read some more just-published-and-not-nice stuff about me in the national magazine of
my former denomination. So it seems just about all I tried to do today failed or got bunged up.

Normally this drives me into a funk. Bad day. Go to bed. Try again tomorrow.  But that didn’t happen today.  The demon at work here is pride.  And God is working hard on my pride.  I need Him to.  Earlier today, I read Andrew Murray’s comments:

"Accept every humiliation. Look upon every fellow man who vexes you as a means of grace to humble you.  Use every opportunity of humbling yourself before your fellow men as a help to abide humbly before God."

This has been a long battle for me over many years, but I can honestly say that today, I found grace in frustration, joy in Jesus in the face of criticism, and kindness when my best efforts failed.  I brought it all to Jesus and asked Him to teach me.  And while He was teaching me, He gave me joy. Thank you for that gift. 

Not a bad way to start the New Year at all.  How about you?  How did your day go?  And have you thought about truly bringing your frustrations to Jesus, asking Him to strip you of every vestige of pride, and let Him be your all?  I can honestly say I am amazed at how it changed my temperament today.